OSHA IV: NO SAFETY - SMOKING FIRST - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > OSHA IV: NO SAFETY - SMOKING FIRST

old bean factory: Nov 18, 2006; Will ya close the fucking doors?!

Nenonen posted:

I think I'd prefer a cellmate who's been dead for 15 years, over one that's been dead for a few weeks. The stink should go away as the body decomposes and you can craft shanks from the bones.

Yeah I'm with ya. Save the ribcage for making a xylophone set to keep the mind occupied, that sort of thing. Use the skin for water skins. Wear his scalp as a funny wig!

# ? Sep 10, 2021 19:14

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 15:50

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

old bean factory posted:

xylobone

FTFY

# ? Sep 10, 2021 19:17

Wingnut Ninja: Jan 11, 2003; Mostly Harmless

Karate Bastard posted:

Isn't that how they make prison wine?

I think after 15 years it's more prison brandy.

# ? Sep 10, 2021 19:21

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012; ERM... Actually I have stellar scores on the surveys, and every year students tell me that my classes are the best ones they’ve ever taken.

goatsestretchgoals posted:

FTFY

etymologically the "xylo" in xylophone refers to the wooden bars. a xylobone might be a wooden model of a skeleton; what you propose would be an ostophone :spergin:

# ? Sep 10, 2021 19:27

Uthor: Jul 9, 2006; Gummy Bear Heaven ... It's where I go when the world is too mean.

CRUSTY MINGE posted:

Tammy rules. I wouldn't move back to Illinois to be her constituent, but I really hope I get to meet her someday.

I don't agree with her positions 100%, but she's cool. I remember some dipshit putting their foot in their mouth when she rolled up into Congress after giving birth being all, "it was just childbirth, she's really milking it with the wheelchair".

# ? Sep 10, 2021 19:37

Karate Bastard: Jul 31, 2007; Soiled Meat

Haha yes, wooden skeleton, yes haha hand me that phone would you I've got splinters

# ? Sep 10, 2021 19:50

Phanatic: Mar 13, 2007; Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

Whoops.

https://www.smh.com.au/world/north-america/new-york-city-subway-failed-because-someone-pushed-the-wrong-button-20210911-p58qqt.html

quote:

New York: A recent power outage that disrupted half of New York City�s subway system for several hours and stranded hundreds of passengers was likely caused by someone accidentally pressing an �Emergency Power Off� button, according to investigations released on Friday.

Outside investigators looking into the disruption on the night of August 29 said there was a �strong possibility� that the button was accidentally pressed since the plastic guard designed to prevent accidental activation was missing, according to a pair of reports released by New York Governor Kathy Hochul.

# ? Sep 10, 2021 20:04

Xerol: Jan 13, 2007

Vlaphor posted:

Sound recommended.

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_qz6f8qbwxC1w5pr9j.mp4

I've got a book for this guy to read.

# ? Sep 10, 2021 20:24

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

Let me be the first to say: :lol:

# ? Sep 10, 2021 20:35

wolrah: May 8, 2006; what?

Roflex posted:

I've got a book for this guy to read.

# ? Sep 10, 2021 20:54

The Bloop: Jul 5, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

Roflex posted:

I've got a book for this guy to read.

# ? Sep 10, 2021 21:00

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Roflex posted:

I've got a book for this guy to read.

I see what you did, and I approve
:golfclap:

# ? Sep 10, 2021 21:01

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Roflex posted:

I've got a book for this guy to read.

so good, so true.

# ? Sep 10, 2021 21:04

CaptainBeefart: Mar 28, 2016

Roflex posted:

I've got a book for this guy to read.

Lol

# ? Sep 10, 2021 21:08

Chocobo: Oct 15, 2012; Here comes a new challenger!; Oven Wrangler

I was told to move some stuff around the jobsite the other day, and my co-worker rolls up in a wheel loader with two locks on the steering wheel saying "LOCKED OUT - DO NOT OPERATE".

Ends up that two mechanics lost their keys and couldn't remove their locks after completing a service. I ran the same loader today and they actually cut the steering wheel to remove their locks and then taped it back together with electrical tape.

# ? Sep 10, 2021 21:09

EvenWorseOpinions: Jun 10, 2017

So the plan is that if they lose their keys again they can just remove the tape and pull the locks off?

# ? Sep 10, 2021 21:42

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

I love the thought process that is like cut the locks we don't have keys to anymore? No that's gonna raise too many questions. Cut the steering wheel to get the locks off? Now we're talking.

# ? Sep 10, 2021 21:47

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

zedprime posted:

I love the thought process that is like cut the locks we don't have keys to anymore? No that's gonna raise too many questions. Cut the steering wheel to get the locks off? Now we're talking.

Seriously, holy hell. Have they ordered a replacement wheel or some poo poo? :psyduck:

# ? Sep 10, 2021 22:18

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Roflex posted:

I've got a book for this guy to read.

Cross posting this from the schadenfreude thread since I suppose this is technically a workplace. For a clown. To get launched into space.

https://i.imgur.com/poC9tzt.mp4

# ? Sep 10, 2021 22:31

Slugworth: Feb 18, 2001; If two grown men can't make a pervert happy for a few minutes in order to watch a film about zombies, then maybe we should all just move to Iran!

Sagebrush posted:

etymologically the "xylo" in xylophone refers to the wooden bars. a xylobone might be a wooden model of a skeleton; what you propose would be an ostophone

But they're making it out of a ribcage, so if they incorporate the xiphoid process, surely we could still call it a xylobone? Or at least compromise at xilobone?

# ? Sep 10, 2021 22:55

shame on an IGA: Apr 8, 2005

what is this bullshit everyone knows mr. skeltal is a brass man

# ? Sep 10, 2021 23:18

ekuNNN: Nov 27, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_qz86kemu0g1r0uzl6.mp4

# ? Sep 11, 2021 00:25

Zesty: Jan 17, 2012; The Great Twist

I love it when people decide they have super human strength and can obviously stop that much mass moving that fast downhill.

# ? Sep 11, 2021 00:32

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

someone reverse it and put ghost ride the whip on it

# ? Sep 11, 2021 00:39

Ola: Jul 19, 2004

Zesty posted:

I love it when people decide they have super human strength and can obviously stop that much mass moving that fast downhill.

Dang, it's sort of the opposite of this

Ola posted:

There should be a term for drivers that encounter a situation where it is plain to see they shouldn't enter, but then they realize they have to do some stuff on the other side of the situation so they just calmly and deliberately drive into it.

Either they believe they have super human ennui and just plow through situations they should avoid, or they believe they have super human strength. Either way, vehicles make you stupid.

# ? Sep 11, 2021 00:40

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

https://i.imgur.com/6IrEEpc.gifv

Shits easy, just press X at the right time.

# ? Sep 11, 2021 03:04

Wistful of Dollars: Aug 25, 2009

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/6IrEEpc.gifv

Shits easy, just press X at the right time.

# ? Sep 11, 2021 03:08

Podima: Nov 4, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

OSHA IV: How to avoid huge slips

# ? Sep 11, 2021 04:08

MisterOblivious: Mar 17, 2010; by sebmojo

Chocobo posted:

I was told to move some stuff around the jobsite the other day, and my co-worker rolls up in a wheel loader with two locks on the steering wheel saying "LOCKED OUT - DO NOT OPERATE".

Ends up that two mechanics lost their keys and couldn't remove their locks after completing a service. I ran the same loader today and they actually cut the steering wheel to remove their locks and then taped it back together with electrical tape.

Oh god. Those locks are meant to be easily broken and suuuuuper hard to pick*, so there's proof if somebody removed them. If you can cut a steering wheel you can remove a LOTO lock even faster!

*: 6 pins instead of 5, special anti-pick pins, very little spring tension so you don't get feedback as you pick, a keyway that's hard to fit picks in...and a plastic body you can whack with a hammer to remove the lock if you lose they key.

# ? Sep 11, 2021 04:30

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Chocobo posted:

I was told to move some stuff around the jobsite the other day, and my co-worker rolls up in a wheel loader with two locks on the steering wheel saying "LOCKED OUT - DO NOT OPERATE".

Ends up that two mechanics lost their keys and couldn't remove their locks after completing a service. I ran the same loader today and they actually cut the steering wheel to remove their locks and then taped it back together with electrical tape.

All the lockout/tagout locks I have ever encountered are designed to be removed by hitting with a hammer. They will break apart easy, not designed to be high security. If I lose my keys, simply crack the lock open after jobs done and then report to stores for a replacement. The equipment is still locked out while the service/repair is being done, and as it is MY responsibility to remove the lock, destructive methods are allowed.

Now if someone else were to come along and remove my lock this way... hooo boy someones getting in a lot of trouble.

# ? Sep 11, 2021 05:14

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Humphreys posted:

Now if someone else were to come along and remove my lock this way... hooo boy someones getting in a lot of trouble.

I don't know about down there in down under land, but up in Americastan, I seem to recall seeing things in either previous versions of this thread, or precursors to this thread, many years ago, while I was under a different name where people removing LOTO locks is pretty much just like "yeah bro, we figured that you were finished doing whatever you were doing" or "odds are you wouldn't get killed by (energized something) so we just cut that lock off because we needed to get moving again, don't worry about the electricity going through them bare wires, just like DON"T DO ANYTHING UNSAFE AND YOU"LL BE FINE".

# ? Sep 11, 2021 05:34

Cable Guy: Jul 18, 2005; I don't expect any trouble, but we'll be handing these out later...; Slippery Tilde

mobby_6kl posted:

# ? Sep 11, 2021 06:02

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

Cable Guy posted:

i love this 3 meme old meme, please let's keep looking for opportunities

# ? Sep 11, 2021 06:30

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

In the policies I've seen removing a LOTO lock without the key requires personal authorisation from the managing director.

# ? Sep 11, 2021 06:52

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

# ? Sep 11, 2021 06:54

Somaen: Nov 19, 2007; by vyelkin

https://twitter.com/taxfreelt/status/1435585475784462341

# ? Sep 11, 2021 07:00

Renaissance Robot: Oct 10, 2010; Bite my furry metal ass

Ola posted:

Either they believe they have super human ennui and just plow through situations they should avoid, or they believe they have super human strength. Either way, vehicles make you stupid.

But it stops and goes so easily when I press my foot on the pedal, it can't be that heavy!

# ? Sep 11, 2021 11:01

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

https://i.imgur.com/wUaq74t.gifv

# ? Sep 11, 2021 12:55

Samuel L. Hacksaw: Mar 26, 2007; Never Stop Posting

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/wUaq74t.gifv

Merry Christmas!

# ? Sep 11, 2021 12:59

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 15:50

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Chocobo posted:

I was told to move some stuff around the jobsite the other day, and my co-worker rolls up in a wheel loader with two locks on the steering wheel saying "LOCKED OUT - DO NOT OPERATE".

Ends up that two mechanics lost their keys and couldn't remove their locks after completing a service. I ran the same loader today and they actually cut the steering wheel to remove their locks and then taped it back together with electrical tape.

Gives a new meaning to the thread title.

# ? Sep 11, 2021 13:14

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