[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Bruce Hussein Daddy posted:

Do none of you fuckers not work at the VERY LARGE INTERNATIONAL COMPANY that everyone in the world has heard of that just had a big announcement? lol.

..no?

# ? Sep 21, 2021 18:58

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# ? May 23, 2024 23:07

External Organs: Mar 3, 2006; One time i prank called a bear buildin workshop and said I wanted my mamaws ashes put in a teddy from where she loved them things so well... The woman on the phone did not skip a beat. She just said, "Brang her on down here. We've did it before."

Bruce Hussein Daddy posted:

Do none of you fuckers not work at the VERY LARGE INTERNATIONAL COMPANY that everyone in the world has heard of that just had a big announcement? lol.

idk, seems like good news to me?

# ? Sep 21, 2021 18:58

poll plane variant: Jan 12, 2021; by sebmojo

Bruce Hussein Daddy posted:

Do none of you fuckers not work at the VERY LARGE INTERNATIONAL COMPANY that everyone in the world has heard of that just had a big announcement? lol.

What tech company went perma WFH now

# ? Sep 21, 2021 18:59

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

quote:

Team,

Much to my frustration, the community transmission for Covid-19 continues to rise. Our primary four counties are still in the red for high transmission and over the last 7 days the increase in cases are below:

Adams: Up 4%

Brown: Up 23%

Clermont: Up 11%

Hamilton: Up 10%

I am extending the Work From Home plan for an additional 3 weeks, through 10/15/21, returning to work 10/18/21. It is imperative that we all remain diligent in the office and on the shop floor to maintain our social distancing or mask up when that is not possible. Also, DO NOT come to the office if you are experiencing any of the Covid-19 symptoms:

Fever 100F or higher
Feeling feverish, chills or sweating
Sore throat apart from seasonal allergies
New body/muscle aches
Vomiting or diarrhea (inconsistent with chronic medical conditions)
New loss of taste or smell
New chest pain/pressure
Bluish lips or face or new confusion
It puts the whole team at risk and is a violation of company policy.

Please let me know if there are any questions and please stay safe.

I don't think it's going to get any better for some time boss

# ? Sep 21, 2021 18:59

Bruce Hussein Daddy: Dec 26, 2005; I testify that there is none worthy of worship except God and I testify that Muhammad is the Messenger of God

poll plane variant posted:

What tech company went perma WFH now

Close. A gigantic worldwide manufacturing company decided that vaccinations are mandatory for all employees. Much :qq:

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:04

External Organs: Mar 3, 2006; One time i prank called a bear buildin workshop and said I wanted my mamaws ashes put in a teddy from where she loved them things so well... The woman on the phone did not skip a beat. She just said, "Brang her on down here. We've did it before."

Team,

Lol. Lmao.

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:04

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

Atrocious Joe posted:

Update from my sick anti-vax relative

They had self-diagnosed having strep throat. They just went a CVS clinic this weekend because they were still ill and had lost 15 pounds.

Don't know if they were tested for COVID. They are now saying they have hand, foot, and mouth disease.

lol if they self-diagnose with a series of acceleratingly bad diseases as their condition worsens and they refuse to get tested

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I have SARS. Like SARS 1, the original flavor"

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:05

Soap Scum: Aug 8, 2003

Bruce Hussein Daddy posted:

Close. A gigantic worldwide manufacturing company decided that vaccinations are mandatory for all employees. Much

which one

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:05

poll plane variant: Jan 12, 2021; by sebmojo

Bruce Hussein Daddy posted:

Close. A gigantic worldwide manufacturing company decided that vaccinations are mandatory for all employees. Much

This is meaningless when you can just write "religious exemption" on a napkin

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:05

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

tell us the company

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:06

Tzen: Sep 11, 2001

External Organs posted:

Team,

Lol. Lmao.

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:06

gradenko_2000: Oct 5, 2010; HELL SERPENT; Lipstick Apathy

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:07

Bruce Hussein Daddy: Dec 26, 2005; I testify that there is none worthy of worship except God and I testify that Muhammad is the Messenger of God

I'm not trying to be coy, I practically dox myself as it is. I will link a TOTALLY UNRELATED news story if it hits any news sites.

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:08

Soap Scum: Aug 8, 2003

gradenko_2000 posted:

sps sps sps sps sps sps sps sps sps

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:10

Nonsense: Jan 26, 2007

stay safe goon

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:10

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

Iron Crowned posted:

I don't think it's going to get any better for some time boss

A lot of these symptoms have an out of being labeled "new" or "not seasonal allergies".

Yeah, I've got a sore throat but let me just diagnose it as allergies. OK time to go cough on my coworkers.

Sure I have chest pain, but I'm in loving horrible health and always have some level of chest pain. Open Biden!

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:17

Atrocious Joe: Sep 2, 2011

PostNouveau posted:

lol if they self-diagnose with a series of acceleratingly bad diseases as their condition worsens and they refuse to get tested

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I have SARS. Like SARS 1, the original flavor"

Their parents are anti-vax as well and sold all their belongings last year to embrace the van life.

I really hope that whole branch of the family tree doesn't get incapacitated. I don't want to be the one that gets stuck dealing with relatives who are sick on the other side of the country because they really wanted to hang out at an RV camp ground in Florida.

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:17

Pryor on Fire: May 14, 2013; they don't know all alien abduction experiences can be explained by people thinking saving private ryan was a documentary

Bruce Hussein Daddy posted:

I'm not trying to be coy, I practically dox myself as it is. I will link a TOTALLY UNRELATED news story if it hits any news sites.

All the indoor manufacturing/assembly jobs have been a nightmare during covid, if companies like VW and Ford haven't already mandated vaccines they should have months ago.

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:18

Cabbages and VHS: Aug 25, 2004; Listen, I've been around a bit, you know, and I thought I'd seen some creepy things go on in the movie business, but I really have to say this is the most disgusting thing that's ever happened to me.

Kid is back from COVID test, but we won't know for 24-36 hrs so we're all homebound (with one exception for a zero contact curbside today, I already contacted the vendor to let them know we had a possible positive in the house.

Fingers crossed it's something else and this is just a cool way for her to get 2 days of watching disney movies because my wife and I are dealing with a baby plus another fulltime job plus two part time jobs!!

edit: we make her draw and play with blocks, and we DO give her attention. we're not terrible parents, i hope.

Cabbages and VHS fucked around with this message at 19:23 on Sep 21, 2021

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:21

Glumwheels: Jan 25, 2003; https://twitter.com/BidenHQ

Cabbages and Kings posted:

Kid is back from COVID test, but we won't know for 24-36 hrs so we're all homebound (with one exception for a zero contact curbside today, I already contacted the vendor to let them know we had a possible positive in the house.

Fingers crossed it's something else and this is just a cool way for her to get 2 days of watching disney movies because my wife and I are dealing with a baby plus another fulltime job plus two part time jobs!!

My co-worker is going through this, his kiddo has rsv and apparently several other kids in daycare are sick and confirmed not COVID. I�m waiting for this ball to drop on us as we�re putting our 18 month old in a school and our 4 year old started. At least she is wearing a mask.

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:23

CaptainBeefart: Mar 28, 2016

Iron Crowned posted:

I don't think it's going to get any better for some time boss

Boss I got some new confusion, won't make it in today.

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:24

DR FRASIER KRANG: Feb 4, 2005; "Are you forgetting that just this afternoon I was punched in the face by a turtle now dead?

Cabbages and Kings posted:

Kid is back from COVID test, but we won't know for 24-36 hrs so we're all homebound (with one exception for a zero contact curbside today, I already contacted the vendor to let them know we had a possible positive in the house.

Fingers crossed it's something else and this is just a cool way for her to get 2 days of watching disney movies because my wife and I are dealing with a baby plus another fulltime job plus two part time jobs!!

edit: we make her draw and play with blocks, and we DO give her attention. we're not terrible parents, i hope.

you're fine. two days is nothing. my kids have had months of garbage tv time and they're fine.

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:24

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

Bruce Hussein Daddy posted:

Do none of you fuckers not work at the VERY LARGE INTERNATIONAL COMPANY that everyone in the world has heard of that just had a big announcement? lol.

https://twitter.com/taralach/status/1440381408527061003

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:27

Buck Wildman: Mar 30, 2010; I am Metango, Galactic Governor

SKULL.GIF posted:

https://twitter.com/taralach/status/1440381408527061003

so many bad batches of mickey clones needing to be flushed

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:28

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

Zeroisanumber posted:

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:29

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

PostNouveau posted:

A lot of these symptoms have an out of being labeled "new" or "not seasonal allergies".

Yeah, I've got a sore throat but let me just diagnose it as allergies. OK time to go cough on my coworkers.

Sure I have chest pain, but I'm in loving horrible health and always have some level of chest pain. Open Biden!

This is pretty much my workplace's COVID plan. I'm just surprised this came on a Tuesday afternoon instead of Thursday at 11:38pm.

Can't wait for the next 2-6 week extension email in a couple weeks

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:31

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

Steve Yun posted:

can anyone vet this

https://www.scholarsresearchlibrary...is-patients.pdf

seems fine to me

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:34

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

Mayor Dave posted:

My hair's down to my shoulders bc I haven't had it cut since March 2020. Tbf I actually like it so I wouldn't get it cut even if covid were actually over

same, you must look beautiful

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:36

eviltastic: Feb 8, 2004; Fan of Britches

Cabbages and Kings posted:

anyone had luck getting someone to crack/ping?

I just had a long chat with a 26 year old coworker in the deep south.

He's a rogan listener who frequently disagrees with rogan. He's unvaxxed. His take is that he'll vaxx in "six months or so" if we don't see a uptick in "stroke poo poo"; also notably he knows someone who in recent memory just died of a blod clot post vaxx, he does not say that's a definite cause but also does not rule it out and it's impacting his thinking.*

He thinks that since he never interacts with the elderly or kids, is positive on masks, and is generally in excellent shape and eats lots of vitamins, he can just camp on this

We have a 'respectful disagreement' paradigm so i didn't try to change his mind.

He was a Ben Carson primary voter who voted for Biden in the general, despises Trump, and in all things professional generally seems like a sharp knife to me; he's also been on the mask train since the beginning of all this.

just throwing this out as a data point w/r/t some of what we're up against, also, if anyone has any work-appropriate twitter feeds or whatever I should start trying to slip into his media awareness sphere, I am all ears. I don't want to get pushy on this, at the same time, I feel like there's some chance that this is someone I could actually talk into a vaxx if I could figure out the correct approach, unlike basically anyone else I know who is unvaxxed at this time in 2021.

* I know the stats and numbers on this, of course, but this is not a situation where dive bombing with 2000 whitepapers is gonna be a good reach

The obvious reaction is that he's rationalizing imposing a risk on others, but you've likely tried addressing that. If not, (1) the people around him might still die even if healthy - the daughter of an acquaintance of mine worked out every day she had covid until the day she died, (2) I'd be real surprised if absolutely none of the people around him ever interact with the elderly or kids either, and (3) even if they don't die, it could gently caress 'em up bad and he could've prevented that.

So failing that angle, if someone's in excellent shape, it means they're working out. Covid can put an end to that for somebody for a very long time. Maybe try to persuade him that he's risking the sickness of his gains.

eviltastic fucked around with this message at 19:38 on Sep 21, 2021

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:36

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

jetz0r posted:

https://twitter.com/studioincendo/status/1226540536984506369

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:36

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

tuyop posted:

looks like a lot of pages without a cat. much bad times

Honda likes to sit on this thing and take up as little space as possible. sometimes I think I understand.

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:37

tuyop: Sep 15, 2006; Every second that we're not growing BASIL is a second wasted; Fun Shoe

whoa weird /\

Alberta health minister Tyler Shanbro is getting fired lol

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:37

Chad Sexington: May 26, 2005; I think he made a beautiful post and did a great job and he is good.

Glumwheels posted:

See the media endlessly crying over one missing white girl. There�s a reason why I don�t read or watch the news anymore.

Blame Tiktok and Reddit for that one. Not that the media isn't predisposed to cry for white girls, but that was Zoomer social media poo poo.

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:39

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

Harry Potter on Ice posted:

gently caress everyone is turning in their covid thread projects already and they are all so good

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:41

Buck Wildman: Mar 30, 2010; I am Metango, Galactic Governor

I'm going bald get smoked haircut needers

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:41

Rah!: Feb 21, 2006

gradenko_2000 posted:

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:41

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

empty whippet box posted:

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:42

wash bucket: Feb 21, 2006

SKULL.GIF posted:

https://twitter.com/taralach/status/1440381408527061003

I just assume that's a picture of a shift supervisor surverying one of their shop floors.

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:42

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

kreeningsons posted:

i dont use nonstick because i dont want microplastics in my food. high quality stainless and the correct technique work fine for everything i ever cook.

plastic is delicious

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:42

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# ? May 23, 2024 23:07

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

SKULL.GIF posted:

https://twitter.com/ClayTravis/status/1439410038423134210

# ? Sep 21, 2021 19:43

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