GorfZaplen posted:

I had a dream that I was playing a survival horror game where instead of keys doorknobs had little mouths on them that you had to let lick your fingers in order to pass through. I realized I had played this game before and that I had the wrong "fingers" equipped to win this run. With grim inevitability I let the wrong door lick my index finger and entered. The camera changed to an overhead cctv view of a seven foot tall man in a Space Jam jersey holding a baseball bat. I knew it was coming and gave a very halfhearted "Aaaah." that was loud enough to wake me up

GorfZaplen posted:

I had a dream that I was playing a survival horror game where instead of keys doorknobs had little mouths on them that you had to let lick your fingers in order to pass through. I realized I had played this game before and that I had the wrong "fingers" equipped to win this run. With grim inevitability I let the wrong door lick my index finger and entered. The camera changed to an overhead cctv view of a seven foot tall man in a Space Jam jersey holding a baseball bat. I knew it was coming and gave a very halfhearted "Aaaah." that was loud enough to wake me up

GorfZaplen posted:

I had a dream that I was playing a survival horror game where instead of keys doorknobs had little mouths on them that you had to let lick your fingers in order to pass through. I realized I had played this game before and that I had the wrong "fingers" equipped to win this run. With grim inevitability I let the wrong door lick my index finger and entered. The camera changed to an overhead cctv view of a seven foot tall man in a Space Jam jersey holding a baseball bat. I knew it was coming and gave a very halfhearted "Aaaah." that was loud enough to wake me up

Spoderman posted:

lmao. speaking in your dreams but also in real life and waking yourself up in the process ftw

extremebuff posted:

had a dream where I was at a hotel and a pretty lady came up to me and asked to book a flight. I found some info and gave her the rates and when it was time to book I kept desperately trying to enter imp.zone on the url bar and it didnt pull anything up. i NEEDED to go to iz to get her ticket. i tried iz and pimp zone and tried looking up the doom wad and nothing would come up I was sweating bullets

i kept apologizing that it was taking so long when suddenly she asked "what is imp zone?" even tho she was on the other side of the desk. I panicked and said it was just a website, to which she solemnly nodded her head and calmly walked towards a security guard and I got so anxious i woke up

GorfZaplen posted:

I had a dream that I was playing a survival horror game where instead of keys doorknobs had little mouths on them that you had to let lick your fingers in order to pass through. I realized I had played this game before and that I had the wrong "fingers" equipped to win this run. With grim inevitability I let the wrong door lick my index finger and entered. The camera changed to an overhead cctv view of a seven foot tall man in a Space Jam jersey holding a baseball bat. I knew it was coming and gave a very halfhearted "Aaaah." that was loud enough to wake me up

extremebuff posted:

had a dream where I was at a hotel and a pretty lady came up to me and asked to book a flight. I found some info and gave her the rates and when it was time to book I kept desperately trying to enter imp.zone on the url bar and it didnt pull anything up. i NEEDED to go to iz to get her ticket. i tried iz and pimp zone and tried looking up the doom wad and nothing would come up I was sweating bullets

i kept apologizing that it was taking so long when suddenly she asked "what is imp zone?" even tho she was on the other side of the desk. I panicked and said it was just a website, to which she solemnly nodded her head and calmly walked towards a security guard and I got so anxious i woke up

GorfZaplen posted:

I had a dream that I was playing a survival horror game where instead of keys doorknobs had little mouths on them that you had to let lick your fingers in order to pass through. I realized I had played this game before and that I had the wrong "fingers" equipped to win this run. With grim inevitability I let the wrong door lick my index finger and entered. The camera changed to an overhead cctv view of a seven foot tall man in a Space Jam jersey holding a baseball bat. I knew it was coming and gave a very halfhearted "Aaaah." that was loud enough to wake me up

Pablo Nergigante posted:

May have posted this before but one time I dreamed I was about to start singing Holy Diver and I woke myself up just saying “Ho”

symbolic posted:

been having a lot more gaming dreams than usual lately, last night's involved Arf posting in the weekend gaming thread about playing a remake of the original Mario Bros. i tried it myself and it looked exactly like SMB3 which i appreciated. i was having a blast until i got to 1-4, which looked completely different than the actual 1-4 and had a stupidly truncated timer that repeatedly ran out before i even got close to the end. it seemed like i had to do everything perfectly to even have a chance at finishing the level, so i posted in the thread asking for tips. this ended up with me just getting mercilessly trolled with fake suggestions, of which the only one i specifically remember is Synthy insisting that i had to collect nine red coins to freeze the timer. i then spent way too long trying to find the last one after nabbing the first eight before quitting the game out of sheer stress.

Pablo Nergigante posted:

May have posted this before but one time I dreamed I was about to start singing Holy Diver and I woke myself up just saying “Ho”

Fungah! posted:

dreamed a sexy babe was trying to sacrifice me to turn me into a 12/8 panther demon with lifelink and my only thought was "makes sense, thats a pretty good rate"

Pablo Nergigante posted:

Tfw no big titty goth babe gf to cast corpse cobble on me.

GorfZaplen posted:

I had a dream that I was playing a survival horror game where instead of keys doorknobs had little mouths on them that you had to let lick your fingers in order to pass through. I realized I had played this game before and that I had the wrong "fingers" equipped to win this run. With grim inevitability I let the wrong door lick my index finger and entered. The camera changed to an overhead cctv view of a seven foot tall man in a Space Jam jersey holding a baseball bat. I knew it was coming and gave a very halfhearted "Aaaah." that was loud enough to wake me up

elf help book posted:

elf help book posted:

elf help book posted:

mbt posted:

just woke up from a double feature gaming dream / nightmare. I dreamt there was a game called Wario Mountain where he climbs a mountain and enters mario 64 paintings into other nintendo games. I remember him riding his motorcycle down mute city in fzero and dogfighting star wolf. This was interrupted by my old roommate bursting out of my oven with a shotgun

elf help book posted:

elf help book posted:

Pablo Nergigante posted:

Lmao

elf help book posted:

Bicyclops posted:

dreamed i was sitting across from akiyama and the offer was for 100 million (dollars not yen). i told him that honestly, i would probably just use the money not to have to work, that i'd spend a lot more time playing video games and that i'd travel some when my kids were older. he seemed to think about it for a long time and decided that was a worthy dream. apparently, when he'd been homeless, he was "the champion world of worldcraft player" and that he regretted not having as much time for video games anymore. for my test, he wanted me to spend a single night at a cabaret club, and told me i was getting off easy. i walked out and i was already happy because i was in sotenbori, and it was beautiful, walking along the river. i thought about all the places i would get to visit, how there would be no more worries about money, how i could buy a bigger place. dance battle women were everywhere along the street. the bridge looked amazing in person. when i got to the club (it was the Grand, but i didn't recognize it until i woke up), the attendant said he'd been waiting for me and took me to a huge table toward the front of the stage. there were two guys already seated, and they were some awkward kids that i was friends with back in elementary school, and i figured, "oh, okay, this is the real test," but that i was up to the task of dealing with it. they were happy to see me and embarrassingly loud about it. majima came up off the stage in a white tux with two lines of women behind him, and they all took a big bow just like in the cabaret club mini-game, and that was when i realized that all eight of the women were ex-girlfriends or old hook-ups and that they were all smiling malevolently.

the dream actually went on for a long time and all of them were airing out grievances and talking to each other in graphic detail about every single thing we'd done together. my two elementary school friends were just hyena laughing the whole time, but not at me, it seemed like it was more of a nervous tic. at some point a ninth woman, the prom queen from my high school, joined, just so that she could laugh at my whole situation and hear a bunch of embarrassing stories about me. finally, mercifully, in the background of one of the horrible monologues, one of my awkward old friends ordered a gacha drink and when he opened the little ball, a spring came out into his eye and his screaming startled me awake.

symbolic posted:

been having a lot more gaming dreams than usual lately, last night's involved Arf posting in the weekend gaming thread about playing a remake of the original Mario Bros. i tried it myself and it looked exactly like SMB3 which i appreciated. i was having a blast until i got to 1-4, which looked completely different than the actual 1-4 and had a stupidly truncated timer that repeatedly ran out before i even got close to the end. it seemed like i had to do everything perfectly to even have a chance at finishing the level, so i posted in the thread asking for tips. this ended up with me just getting mercilessly trolled with fake suggestions, of which the only one i specifically remember is Synthy insisting that i had to collect nine red coins to freeze the timer. i then spent way too long trying to find the last one after nabbing the first eight before quitting the game out of sheer stress.

Sub-Actuality posted:

I just dreamt that Shiggy announced a complete remake of the original Super Mario Bros during a Direct. He was visibly excited, sort of hopping up and down like a little kid and saying stuff like “modern technology allows us to at last depict the full Mario experience as I first envisioned it.” He started playing through a live demo of the game, which was still 2D but had sharp 3d-rendered sprites that kind of looked like Donkey Kong Country. The only mechanical difference was that Luigi was always present alongside Mario and followed him everywhere. Shiggy made a huge deal out of how technologically impressive he thought this was, and he demonstrated Luigi following Mario for like 20 minutes while he jumped on and off a single question block.

He started talking about how everyone had always wondered how Mario really travels through pipes, and was overjoyed that this game would finally portray that. He was about to demonstrate but a very timid stage hand had to step in and stop him because he had spent too much time showcasing the Luigi AI and they needed to finish the rest of the Direct. He protested for a minute but then just kind of looked sad and started nodding quickly and stepped back a few feet so he was in partial darkness. For some reason he stayed visible in the corner of the screen looking dejected while the Direct continued.

They announced that the game was available for download right now!!, so I bought it and started playing immediately. On 1-1 I went down that 3rd pipe for coins (Luigi followed of course) and the game changed completely. Suddenly it was a hyper-realistic, extremely dark & terrifying pipe travel mini game in full 3D with surround sound that looked & felt like one of the resident evil remakes.

The pipe was running horizontally, but too narrow to stand in, so Mario had to crawl on his belly through sharp debris and thick black tar. The player had to pull Mario forward by alternating the triggers, and he would get stuck constantly so you’d have to use tools & gear like winches and climbing picks to inch forward very gradually. Every minute or so an extremely loud rumble would start approaching, and a torrent of black tar would fill the pipes. Mario had to quickly brace himself and put on a breathing apparatus to survive. It became almost impossible to move and he would get pushed backward violently.

After a while, a cutscene started that showed that Luigi had inhaled too much of the black tar and couldn’t move anymore. The mini game had been so intense that I had honestly forgotten he was following me the whole time. Mario grabbed his hand and yelled “I’ll come back for you!!” Luigi fixed him with this intense, bitter stare, slapped his hand away, and in a voice that made it clear that he thought Mario had always wanted him dead, said “No you won’t. Not for Luigi” as the tar swept him away.

Eventually I got Mario out of the pipe and the game went back to its much lighter 2D version but Mario still looked ragged as hell, covered in blood and scratches and limping. He could barely move forward and couldn’t jump very high, and there was a big pit right in front of the platform he was on, so I was stuck. I walked Mario into the pit to start the level over but the screen just stayed black for several minutes, and I figured the game had frozen.

I hit reset (the switch had a reset button I guess?) and Toad appeared like Mr. Resetti to scold me for doing so. He looked directly at the camera and said “For real plumbers there is no coming back from death.” Toad explained that because both Mario and Luigi had died in my game, they were dead everywhere, and that everybody in the world who had bought this game was now locked out of playing it forever.

I woke up feeling intensely guilty and was going to post in the Nintendo thread to apologize to everyone before I realized it had been a dream

Sub-Actuality posted:

I just dreamt that Shiggy announced a complete remake of the original Super Mario Bros during a Direct. He was visibly excited, sort of hopping up and down like a little kid and saying stuff like “modern technology allows us to at last depict the full Mario experience as I first envisioned it.” He started playing through a live demo of the game, which was still 2D but had sharp 3d-rendered sprites that kind of looked like Donkey Kong Country. The only mechanical difference was that Luigi was always present alongside Mario and followed him everywhere. Shiggy made a huge deal out of how technologically impressive he thought this was, and he demonstrated Luigi following Mario for like 20 minutes while he jumped on and off a single question block.

He started talking about how everyone had always wondered how Mario really travels through pipes, and was overjoyed that this game would finally portray that. He was about to demonstrate but a very timid stage hand had to step in and stop him because he had spent too much time showcasing the Luigi AI and they needed to finish the rest of the Direct. He protested for a minute but then just kind of looked sad and started nodding quickly and stepped back a few feet so he was in partial darkness. For some reason he stayed visible in the corner of the screen looking dejected while the Direct continued.

They announced that the game was available for download right now!!, so I bought it and started playing immediately. On 1-1 I went down that 3rd pipe for coins (Luigi followed of course) and the game changed completely. Suddenly it was a hyper-realistic, extremely dark & terrifying pipe travel mini game in full 3D with surround sound that looked & felt like one of the resident evil remakes.

The pipe was running horizontally, but too narrow to stand in, so Mario had to crawl on his belly through sharp debris and thick black tar. The player had to pull Mario forward by alternating the triggers, and he would get stuck constantly so you’d have to use tools & gear like winches and climbing picks to inch forward very gradually. Every minute or so an extremely loud rumble would start approaching, and a torrent of black tar would fill the pipes. Mario had to quickly brace himself and put on a breathing apparatus to survive. It became almost impossible to move and he would get pushed backward violently.

After a while, a cutscene started that showed that Luigi had inhaled too much of the black tar and couldn’t move anymore. The mini game had been so intense that I had honestly forgotten he was following me the whole time. Mario grabbed his hand and yelled “I’ll come back for you!!” Luigi fixed him with this intense, bitter stare, slapped his hand away, and in a voice that made it clear that he thought Mario had always wanted him dead, said “No you won’t. Not for Luigi” as the tar swept him away.

Eventually I got Mario out of the pipe and the game went back to its much lighter 2D version but Mario still looked ragged as hell, covered in blood and scratches and limping. He could barely move forward and couldn’t jump very high, and there was a big pit right in front of the platform he was on, so I was stuck. I walked Mario into the pit to start the level over but the screen just stayed black for several minutes, and I figured the game had frozen.

I hit reset (the switch had a reset button I guess?) and Toad appeared like Mr. Resetti to scold me for doing so. He looked directly at the camera and said “For real plumbers there is no coming back from death.” Toad explained that because both Mario and Luigi had died in my game, they were dead everywhere, and that everybody in the world who had bought this game was now locked out of playing it forever.

I woke up feeling intensely guilty and was going to post in the Nintendo thread to apologize to everyone before I realized it had been a dream

Sub-Actuality posted:

I just dreamt that Shiggy announced a complete remake of the original Super Mario Bros during a Direct. He was visibly excited, sort of hopping up and down like a little kid and saying stuff like “modern technology allows us to at last depict the full Mario experience as I first envisioned it.” He started playing through a live demo of the game, which was still 2D but had sharp 3d-rendered sprites that kind of looked like Donkey Kong Country. The only mechanical difference was that Luigi was always present alongside Mario and followed him everywhere. Shiggy made a huge deal out of how technologically impressive he thought this was, and he demonstrated Luigi following Mario for like 20 minutes while he jumped on and off a single question block.

He started talking about how everyone had always wondered how Mario really travels through pipes, and was overjoyed that this game would finally portray that. He was about to demonstrate but a very timid stage hand had to step in and stop him because he had spent too much time showcasing the Luigi AI and they needed to finish the rest of the Direct. He protested for a minute but then just kind of looked sad and started nodding quickly and stepped back a few feet so he was in partial darkness. For some reason he stayed visible in the corner of the screen looking dejected while the Direct continued.

They announced that the game was available for download right now!!, so I bought it and started playing immediately. On 1-1 I went down that 3rd pipe for coins (Luigi followed of course) and the game changed completely. Suddenly it was a hyper-realistic, extremely dark & terrifying pipe travel mini game in full 3D with surround sound that looked & felt like one of the resident evil remakes.

The pipe was running horizontally, but too narrow to stand in, so Mario had to crawl on his belly through sharp debris and thick black tar. The player had to pull Mario forward by alternating the triggers, and he would get stuck constantly so you’d have to use tools & gear like winches and climbing picks to inch forward very gradually. Every minute or so an extremely loud rumble would start approaching, and a torrent of black tar would fill the pipes. Mario had to quickly brace himself and put on a breathing apparatus to survive. It became almost impossible to move and he would get pushed backward violently.

After a while, a cutscene started that showed that Luigi had inhaled too much of the black tar and couldn’t move anymore. The mini game had been so intense that I had honestly forgotten he was following me the whole time. Mario grabbed his hand and yelled “I’ll come back for you!!” Luigi fixed him with this intense, bitter stare, slapped his hand away, and in a voice that made it clear that he thought Mario had always wanted him dead, said “No you won’t. Not for Luigi” as the tar swept him away.

Eventually I got Mario out of the pipe and the game went back to its much lighter 2D version but Mario still looked ragged as hell, covered in blood and scratches and limping. He could barely move forward and couldn’t jump very high, and there was a big pit right in front of the platform he was on, so I was stuck. I walked Mario into the pit to start the level over but the screen just stayed black for several minutes, and I figured the game had frozen.

I hit reset (the switch had a reset button I guess?) and Toad appeared like Mr. Resetti to scold me for doing so. He looked directly at the camera and said “For real plumbers there is no coming back from death.” Toad explained that because both Mario and Luigi had died in my game, they were dead everywhere, and that everybody in the world who had bought this game was now locked out of playing it forever.

I woke up feeling intensely guilty and was going to post in the Nintendo thread to apologize to everyone before I realized it had been a dream

Pablo Nergigante posted:

Sub-Actuality posted:

I just dreamt that Shiggy announced a complete remake of the original Super Mario Bros during a Direct. He was visibly excited, sort of hopping up and down like a little kid and saying stuff like “modern technology allows us to at last depict the full Mario experience as I first envisioned it.” He started playing through a live demo of the game, which was still 2D but had sharp 3d-rendered sprites that kind of looked like Donkey Kong Country. The only mechanical difference was that Luigi was always present alongside Mario and followed him everywhere. Shiggy made a huge deal out of how technologically impressive he thought this was, and he demonstrated Luigi following Mario for like 20 minutes while he jumped on and off a single question block.

He started talking about how everyone had always wondered how Mario really travels through pipes, and was overjoyed that this game would finally portray that. He was about to demonstrate but a very timid stage hand had to step in and stop him because he had spent too much time showcasing the Luigi AI and they needed to finish the rest of the Direct. He protested for a minute but then just kind of looked sad and started nodding quickly and stepped back a few feet so he was in partial darkness. For some reason he stayed visible in the corner of the screen looking dejected while the Direct continued.

They announced that the game was available for download right now!!, so I bought it and started playing immediately. On 1-1 I went down that 3rd pipe for coins (Luigi followed of course) and the game changed completely. Suddenly it was a hyper-realistic, extremely dark & terrifying pipe travel mini game in full 3D with surround sound that looked & felt like one of the resident evil remakes.

The pipe was running horizontally, but too narrow to stand in, so Mario had to crawl on his belly through sharp debris and thick black tar. The player had to pull Mario forward by alternating the triggers, and he would get stuck constantly so you’d have to use tools & gear like winches and climbing picks to inch forward very gradually. Every minute or so an extremely loud rumble would start approaching, and a torrent of black tar would fill the pipes. Mario had to quickly brace himself and put on a breathing apparatus to survive. It became almost impossible to move and he would get pushed backward violently.

After a while, a cutscene started that showed that Luigi had inhaled too much of the black tar and couldn’t move anymore. The mini game had been so intense that I had honestly forgotten he was following me the whole time. Mario grabbed his hand and yelled “I’ll come back for you!!” Luigi fixed him with this intense, bitter stare, slapped his hand away, and in a voice that made it clear that he thought Mario had always wanted him dead, said “No you won’t. Not for Luigi” as the tar swept him away.

Eventually I got Mario out of the pipe and the game went back to its much lighter 2D version but Mario still looked ragged as hell, covered in blood and scratches and limping. He could barely move forward and couldn’t jump very high, and there was a big pit right in front of the platform he was on, so I was stuck. I walked Mario into the pit to start the level over but the screen just stayed black for several minutes, and I figured the game had frozen.

I hit reset (the switch had a reset button I guess?) and Toad appeared like Mr. Resetti to scold me for doing so. He looked directly at the camera and said “For real plumbers there is no coming back from death.” Toad explained that because both Mario and Luigi had died in my game, they were dead everywhere, and that everybody in the world who had bought this game was now locked out of playing it forever.

I woke up feeling intensely guilty and was going to post in the Nintendo thread to apologize to everyone before I realized it had been a dream

Sub-Actuality posted:

I just dreamt that Shiggy announced a complete remake of the original Super Mario Bros during a Direct. He was visibly excited, sort of hopping up and down like a little kid and saying stuff like “modern technology allows us to at last depict the full Mario experience as I first envisioned it.” He started playing through a live demo of the game, which was still 2D but had sharp 3d-rendered sprites that kind of looked like Donkey Kong Country. The only mechanical difference was that Luigi was always present alongside Mario and followed him everywhere. Shiggy made a huge deal out of how technologically impressive he thought this was, and he demonstrated Luigi following Mario for like 20 minutes while he jumped on and off a single question block.

He started talking about how everyone had always wondered how Mario really travels through pipes, and was overjoyed that this game would finally portray that. He was about to demonstrate but a very timid stage hand had to step in and stop him because he had spent too much time showcasing the Luigi AI and they needed to finish the rest of the Direct. He protested for a minute but then just kind of looked sad and started nodding quickly and stepped back a few feet so he was in partial darkness. For some reason he stayed visible in the corner of the screen looking dejected while the Direct continued.

They announced that the game was available for download right now!!, so I bought it and started playing immediately. On 1-1 I went down that 3rd pipe for coins (Luigi followed of course) and the game changed completely. Suddenly it was a hyper-realistic, extremely dark & terrifying pipe travel mini game in full 3D with surround sound that looked & felt like one of the resident evil remakes.

The pipe was running horizontally, but too narrow to stand in, so Mario had to crawl on his belly through sharp debris and thick black tar. The player had to pull Mario forward by alternating the triggers, and he would get stuck constantly so you’d have to use tools & gear like winches and climbing picks to inch forward very gradually. Every minute or so an extremely loud rumble would start approaching, and a torrent of black tar would fill the pipes. Mario had to quickly brace himself and put on a breathing apparatus to survive. It became almost impossible to move and he would get pushed backward violently.

After a while, a cutscene started that showed that Luigi had inhaled too much of the black tar and couldn’t move anymore. The mini game had been so intense that I had honestly forgotten he was following me the whole time. Mario grabbed his hand and yelled “I’ll come back for you!!” Luigi fixed him with this intense, bitter stare, slapped his hand away, and in a voice that made it clear that he thought Mario had always wanted him dead, said “No you won’t. Not for Luigi” as the tar swept him away.

Eventually I got Mario out of the pipe and the game went back to its much lighter 2D version but Mario still looked ragged as hell, covered in blood and scratches and limping. He could barely move forward and couldn’t jump very high, and there was a big pit right in front of the platform he was on, so I was stuck. I walked Mario into the pit to start the level over but the screen just stayed black for several minutes, and I figured the game had frozen.

I hit reset (the switch had a reset button I guess?) and Toad appeared like Mr. Resetti to scold me for doing so. He looked directly at the camera and said “For real plumbers there is no coming back from death.” Toad explained that because both Mario and Luigi had died in my game, they were dead everywhere, and that everybody in the world who had bought this game was now locked out of playing it forever.

I woke up feeling intensely guilty and was going to post in the Nintendo thread to apologize to everyone before I realized it had been a dream

extremebuff posted:

im losing my mind lmfao

Sub-Actuality posted:

I just dreamt that Shiggy announced a complete remake of the original Super Mario Bros during a Direct. He was visibly excited, sort of hopping up and down like a little kid and saying stuff like “modern technology allows us to at last depict the full Mario experience as I first envisioned it.” He started playing through a live demo of the game, which was still 2D but had sharp 3d-rendered sprites that kind of looked like Donkey Kong Country. The only mechanical difference was that Luigi was always present alongside Mario and followed him everywhere. Shiggy made a huge deal out of how technologically impressive he thought this was, and he demonstrated Luigi following Mario for like 20 minutes while he jumped on and off a single question block.

He started talking about how everyone had always wondered how Mario really travels through pipes, and was overjoyed that this game would finally portray that. He was about to demonstrate but a very timid stage hand had to step in and stop him because he had spent too much time showcasing the Luigi AI and they needed to finish the rest of the Direct. He protested for a minute but then just kind of looked sad and started nodding quickly and stepped back a few feet so he was in partial darkness. For some reason he stayed visible in the corner of the screen looking dejected while the Direct continued.

They announced that the game was available for download right now!!, so I bought it and started playing immediately. On 1-1 I went down that 3rd pipe for coins (Luigi followed of course) and the game changed completely. Suddenly it was a hyper-realistic, extremely dark & terrifying pipe travel mini game in full 3D with surround sound that looked & felt like one of the resident evil remakes.

The pipe was running horizontally, but too narrow to stand in, so Mario had to crawl on his belly through sharp debris and thick black tar. The player had to pull Mario forward by alternating the triggers, and he would get stuck constantly so you’d have to use tools & gear like winches and climbing picks to inch forward very gradually. Every minute or so an extremely loud rumble would start approaching, and a torrent of black tar would fill the pipes. Mario had to quickly brace himself and put on a breathing apparatus to survive. It became almost impossible to move and he would get pushed backward violently.

After a while, a cutscene started that showed that Luigi had inhaled too much of the black tar and couldn’t move anymore. The mini game had been so intense that I had honestly forgotten he was following me the whole time. Mario grabbed his hand and yelled “I’ll come back for you!!” Luigi fixed him with this intense, bitter stare, slapped his hand away, and in a voice that made it clear that he thought Mario had always wanted him dead, said “No you won’t. Not for Luigi” as the tar swept him away.

Eventually I got Mario out of the pipe and the game went back to its much lighter 2D version but Mario still looked ragged as hell, covered in blood and scratches and limping. He could barely move forward and couldn’t jump very high, and there was a big pit right in front of the platform he was on, so I was stuck. I walked Mario into the pit to start the level over but the screen just stayed black for several minutes, and I figured the game had frozen.

I hit reset (the switch had a reset button I guess?) and Toad appeared like Mr. Resetti to scold me for doing so. He looked directly at the camera and said “For real plumbers there is no coming back from death.” Toad explained that because both Mario and Luigi had died in my game, they were dead everywhere, and that everybody in the world who had bought this game was now locked out of playing it forever.

I woke up feeling intensely guilty and was going to post in the Nintendo thread to apologize to everyone before I realized it had been a dream

Sub-Actuality posted:

I just dreamt that Shiggy announced a complete remake of the original Super Mario Bros during a Direct. He was visibly excited, sort of hopping up and down like a little kid and saying stuff like “modern technology allows us to at last depict the full Mario experience as I first envisioned it.” He started playing through a live demo of the game, which was still 2D but had sharp 3d-rendered sprites that kind of looked like Donkey Kong Country. The only mechanical difference was that Luigi was always present alongside Mario and followed him everywhere. Shiggy made a huge deal out of how technologically impressive he thought this was, and he demonstrated Luigi following Mario for like 20 minutes while he jumped on and off a single question block.

He started talking about how everyone had always wondered how Mario really travels through pipes, and was overjoyed that this game would finally portray that. He was about to demonstrate but a very timid stage hand had to step in and stop him because he had spent too much time showcasing the Luigi AI and they needed to finish the rest of the Direct. He protested for a minute but then just kind of looked sad and started nodding quickly and stepped back a few feet so he was in partial darkness. For some reason he stayed visible in the corner of the screen looking dejected while the Direct continued.

They announced that the game was available for download right now!!, so I bought it and started playing immediately. On 1-1 I went down that 3rd pipe for coins (Luigi followed of course) and the game changed completely. Suddenly it was a hyper-realistic, extremely dark & terrifying pipe travel mini game in full 3D with surround sound that looked & felt like one of the resident evil remakes.

The pipe was running horizontally, but too narrow to stand in, so Mario had to crawl on his belly through sharp debris and thick black tar. The player had to pull Mario forward by alternating the triggers, and he would get stuck constantly so you’d have to use tools & gear like winches and climbing picks to inch forward very gradually. Every minute or so an extremely loud rumble would start approaching, and a torrent of black tar would fill the pipes. Mario had to quickly brace himself and put on a breathing apparatus to survive. It became almost impossible to move and he would get pushed backward violently.

After a while, a cutscene started that showed that Luigi had inhaled too much of the black tar and couldn’t move anymore. The mini game had been so intense that I had honestly forgotten he was following me the whole time. Mario grabbed his hand and yelled “I’ll come back for you!!” Luigi fixed him with this intense, bitter stare, slapped his hand away, and in a voice that made it clear that he thought Mario had always wanted him dead, said “No you won’t. Not for Luigi” as the tar swept him away.

Eventually I got Mario out of the pipe and the game went back to its much lighter 2D version but Mario still looked ragged as hell, covered in blood and scratches and limping. He could barely move forward and couldn’t jump very high, and there was a big pit right in front of the platform he was on, so I was stuck. I walked Mario into the pit to start the level over but the screen just stayed black for several minutes, and I figured the game had frozen.

I hit reset (the switch had a reset button I guess?) and Toad appeared like Mr. Resetti to scold me for doing so. He looked directly at the camera and said “For real plumbers there is no coming back from death.” Toad explained that because both Mario and Luigi had died in my game, they were dead everywhere, and that everybody in the world who had bought this game was now locked out of playing it forever.

I woke up feeling intensely guilty and was going to post in the Nintendo thread to apologize to everyone before I realized it had been a dream