(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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ricecult posted:The tone of your original posting was not encouraging or helpful and several people called you out on it. Even here referring to challenging situations (the intersection of mental health with objectively difficult situations) as "your poo poo" is really belittling, so whatever tough love you envision yourself as offering is not coming off that way and you've already been told so, and that is your own shortcoming, not anyone else's weakness or desire to suffer. I will absolutely point out when I see posters convincing themselves (and maybe other readers) that talk therapy isn't a hugely useful tool for mental health or that they are somehow irrevocably broken. Both of those ideas are like two steps away from a suicide note and letting this thread, which I also consider to be a valuable resource, turn into a death cult for the terminally sad would be stupid as hell. It's not a coincidence that the people who reject therapy are the same ones that react strongly to their doomposting getting called out. That said, I was kind of a dick in my original reply to shifty nips and even though I stand by my point I apologize for the insulting taunt at the end. Those kinds of posts hit a nerve for me but yeah this isn't the place to throw poop for that sort of thing. I used "your poo poo" in my later reply because I didn't wanna inaccurately summarize their whole physical/mental health deal. Sorry Shifty Nipples. Jorge Bell has issued a correction as of 05:38 on Oct 21, 2021 |
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Oct 20, 2021 12:09
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Jorge Bell posted:I will absolutely point out when I see posters convincing themselves (and maybe other readers) that talk therapy isn't a hugely useful tool for mental health or that they are somehow irrevocably broken. Both of those ideas are like two steps away from a suicide note and letting this thread, which I also consider to be a valuable resource, turn into a death cult for the terminally sad would be stupid as hell. I think you've contributed a lot to this thread in the past, and we've had some good interactions. I'm glad to see you working to make amends. I interpreted SN's posts differently. thehandtruck described psych medications as a "bandaid" to help someone get through a tough time, and therapy as the long-term solution. I think therapy has been very useful for my bipolar disorder, which has mostly been deep depression. I've been adjusting my medication and taking it religiously for at least 15 years, and I'm still struggling. Maybe thehandtruck was only talking about clinical depression, but bipolar disorder is a lifelong problem. Barring some medical breakthrough, the best I can hope for is to manage it better. I don't know how much people know about spina bifida, but October is awareness month: https://www.spinabifidaassociation.org/blog/10awarenessmonth2021/. It can range in severity, but it sounds like it's had a serious impact on SN's life. It sounded more to me like they wanted some accommodations and understanding. We have an economic system that heavily devalues people who struggle to work. Even our educational system seems to be designed to weed people out rather than to help people live their best life. Able-bodied, relatively "stable" people are ground down by the system, too. You can do everything right, and still end up bankrupt, homeless, or worse. This struggle feels like it's treated as a personal failure by many people. It's very hard not to internalize that. For a very long time, I thought I was just a bad person who deserved to die. Therapy has certainly helped me with that. I consider this a civil rights issue. People are facing real discrimination that causes immense misery and even death. When it comes to feelings of self-worth in society like this, it seems more like therapy is the band-aid to a massive systemic problem. I don't want to speak for anyone else, but I feel like the blame for our broken system is shifted to the individuals who suffer from it the most. I know that's my perception, and I'm working to see myself as having more self-worth. Therapy can be helpful for that. I mentioned some interactions with my last therapist in this thread, and the consensus was that she's an "rear end in a top hat." I liked her as a person, but this thread helped me realize that I need to seek help elsewhere. I'm keeping up the meds (and psychiatric med management), peer support, and practicing all of the coping skills I can think of to tide me over. I want to find another therapist, but I honestly don't know how to find one who is a good fit for me. I know therapists are supposed to call us out on our bullshit and push us out of our comfort zones to succeed, so I don't necessarily expect them to make me feel immediately better or fully agree with me. Both SN and endlessmonotony mentioned mental health practitioners telling them that their physical problems are at the root of their mental health issues, and there wasn't much they could do to help. Maybe they could shop around for someone who says they can help, but I doubt that would be beneficial. Again, I don't want to speak for others. Therapy, especially cognitive behavioral therapy, helped me identify real problems in my life, and evaluate them more objectively. It helped me realize that some issues weren't as big as I thought, and gave me some validation for the big issues. I have some coping skills to help me with the big issues, but they still exist and they still drag me down. I can only imagine what it's like to have a serious physical disability and pain. We have some very resilient people in this thread. Every time I check in on this thread, I'm reminded of why I think so highly of you all. I'm glad you and thehandtruck elaborated on your positions. I think it's useful if we can increase each other's understanding of our perspectives.
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Oct 20, 2021 19:17
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I would like to correct you on one thing, Uganda Loves Me. I can't shop around anymore. I have had three psychiatrists in a row go "nah, therapy isn't a good idea here". It has been tried. Everything has been tried. Well, except ketamine. There's no "fix this" button for a lot of problems out there, only ways to mitigate them. And when the pain's bad enough - after medications, mind - it'll get you down, no matter how much you insist it shouldn't.
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Oct 20, 2021 21:59
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endlessmonotony posted:I would like to correct you on one thing, Uganda Loves Me. Thanks for clarifying, and I fully agree with you. EDIT: I'm not sure if you were saying I'm insisting the pain shouldn't bring you down, or if you were using the generic 3rd person "you." I don't believe that, and I agree that there are problems that need to be managed. Uganda Loves Me has issued a correction as of 22:38 on Oct 20, 2021 |
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Oct 20, 2021 22:23
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Uganda Loves Me posted:Thanks for clarifying, and I fully agree with you. Mostly I'm talking about myself. It's been a lot easier for me to live with my condition after I accepted the pain's going to ruin days - or weeks - sometimes, and that blaming myself over not being able to ignore it wasn't doing anything good for me. I'm going to be unhappy some days because I'm in a lot of pain, and that's not a failure on my part, nor unexpected. I could insist to myself that I am fine with my life and that I'm just getting through some bad days before better ones, but things haven't really gotten better for a few decades now and I'm constantly working to mitigate the effects of my deteriorating health. I was going to say I'm going to focus on what I'm good at - breathing and walking forward - until I remembered I can't really feel my left foot and need a ventilator. There's a lesson here, I'm sure. I'll not find it, but... I try to not let things I can't change get me down, not even the fact that I can't keep myself from being angry and bitter about my health.
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Oct 20, 2021 23:12
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endlessmonotony posted:Mostly I'm talking about myself. It's been a lot easier for me to live with my condition after I accepted the pain's going to ruin days - or weeks - sometimes, and that blaming myself over not being able to ignore it wasn't doing anything good for me. I'm going to be unhappy some days because I'm in a lot of pain, and that's not a failure on my part, nor unexpected. I'm so loving sorry. I learned a lot from this conversation. I often feel like I'm bumbling my way through peer support at NAMI, and I try to pick up what I can from this thread.
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Oct 20, 2021 23:33
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I definitely feel worse about being depressed now.
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Oct 20, 2021 23:34
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poo poo POST MALONE posted:I definitely feel worse about being depressed now. Did you choose to be depressed? Ain't no use blaming yourself for your health. Do what you can. If you leave things better than you found 'em, call that a win.
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Oct 21, 2021 00:08
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I'm missing several chunks of spine, have a robot inside my skull, my breathing needs to be aided and monitored, I eat a dozen pills on a good day, my pain is never fully gone, I can't take any more painkillers on account of side effects, I've been on disability for over a decade, and I last had to file paperwork to help with affording my medical care literally yesterday. And I used to go "am I really sick enough to be this miserable?" all the time and kept thinking I was just whiny and if I worked harder I could compensate for all of it. Realizing that that's just depression making me think that way and it's actually quite normal to be upset when you're in pain was one of the major signs my mental illness was losing its grip on me.
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Oct 21, 2021 00:52
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endlessmonotony posted:Did you choose to be depressed? no it's just a side effect of reading posts by people who actually have a legit gripe with the world at large. like I'm a huge piece of poo poo and whatever but I should try to buck up for the guy who has a spinal flaw so great it causes him daily discomfort.
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Oct 21, 2021 01:01
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poo poo POST MALONE posted:no it's just a side effect of reading posts by people who actually have a legit gripe with the world at large. I've definitely felt that way. I didn't really talk to anyone about my (then diagnosed as) depression, because I didn't expect anyone to get it. This made me feel ashamed of the way I felt and acted. I was almost relieved when bad poo poo happened in my life, because I finally felt justified in feeling bad. It also meant I could talk about a problem that most people would relate to. Depression didn't feel real, but a car accident of root canal sure did. Even if I didn't even really feel affected by the "real" problems, I could at least find some common ground with people around me and I felt understood. I ended up with a very different perspective when I joined my first peer support group. I started talking about some stuff in my life, and I saw people look on in horror as I talked about what was "normal" for me. I realized there was bad poo poo going on, and it was triggering me. I also realized how many other people were going through bad poo poo. I don't want to pry or assume, but there may be things in your life that you played down. My biggest breakthrough in working on my depression was realizing that it's internal and independent of what's going on around me. Things can trigger it. I can do things that make me more or less likely to be seriously depressed, but the depression can continue on even when things seem OK. It's not about what happens in your life, it's about how it affects you. The way you feel is very real, and there's no need to justify it. People can experience things that aren't actually real, like hallucinations and delusions, but that is still their reality.
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Oct 21, 2021 02:14
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currently freaking out by myself at work because I, an alleged controls engineer, plugged in a badly wired device and blew out the fuse on my cubicle outlet. clearly this means I will be summarily fired and never find work again
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Oct 21, 2021 03:14
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I spent like 15 minutes deciding what to put on the TV. Just about everything pisses me off now. I don't watch to watch anything with cops, the military, rape, or torture, and that's already like 80% of TV that isn't geared to specifically to kids ( and even then). My comfort show at the moment is Air Disasters. Like, at least most of these were accidents or systemic failures and the people are trying their best at the time. StashAugustine posted:currently freaking out by myself at work because I, an alleged controls engineer, plugged in a badly wired device and blew out the fuse on my cubicle outlet. clearly this means I will be summarily fired and never find work again I mean, did you build the device yourself? Can you account for its integrity in every off the shelf capacitor and whatever the hell else?
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Oct 21, 2021 05:00
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Take care of your equipment, and your equipment will take care of you.
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Oct 21, 2021 05:13
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StashAugustine posted:currently freaking out by myself at work because I, an alleged controls engineer, plugged in a badly wired device and blew out the fuse on my cubicle outlet. clearly this means I will be summarily fired and never find work again same
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Oct 21, 2021 05:37
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StashAugustine posted:currently freaking out by myself at work because I, an alleged controls engineer, plugged in a badly wired device and blew out the fuse on my cubicle outlet. clearly this means I will be summarily fired and never find work again can you figure out what happened? short to negative? can you replace the components that poo poo themselves? they can't fire you if you solved the problem by the time they find out. At least you didn't poke a hole in a lipo battery cramming too much circuit into not enough box; lighting your desk on fire, I think you're being too hard on yourself Seatbelts has issued a correction as of 05:41 on Oct 21, 2021 |
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Oct 21, 2021 05:39
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Yeah after working on it for a bit I realized I'd shorted it out because I read a diagram wrong and wired it up incorrectly. So I am learning even if I constantly feel like I'm a fuckup I guessUganda Loves Me posted:Take care of your equipment, and your equipment will take care of you. haha yes
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Oct 21, 2021 06:33
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My depression has been real bad lately. i've basically gotten to the point that engaging with anything relating to politics sends me into a spiral but refraining from engaging makes me feel like a traitor. it's been a few years since I got iced out of my local org because a dipshit (who has since been removed) pushed me out, but I can't muster up the energy to return to the environment of the people who essentially stood by while that happened. of the friends i still have from that group, one appears to be self-sabotaging his own organizing due to an ever increasing desire to have the purest, most radical possible union, and the other seems to be sinking even further into alcoholism than he was prior. Another one is doing well and we're trying to meet up more regularly just to play board games and hang out, and I treasure that, but its hard to see so many people fall away from any usefulness politically. then reading stuff online (even in this forum) is the worst brain poisoning imaginable. Even without the various flavors of doomerism that seep out from this subforum into most of the others, the general twitter and online political space is people going out of their way to be make a grand statement about themselves by talking about how bad something is or could be. Somehow we've gotten trapped into one-upping each other with larger and more grandiose claims about the end of the world, instead of how to change it. I'm married, I have a beautiful wife and a cute dog, I have a decent apartment in a city I like living in, and I'm for the first time in my life employed in a decent computer touching job after years of permatemp work and prior to that service jobs. And I maybe feel the worst I ever have. I used to be popular with my old friends from college and then one of my friends from that group sexually assaulted someone at my place and I kicked him out of my apartment (he was living with me at the time) and the rest of my old friends turned against me. I have friends, but no community. And none of my old memories of when I was happy feel happy anymore. im on wellbutrin and it feels like its not doing good but I don't want to go on an SSRI and get even fatter - I think i'd just hate myself more, to be honest. I do kinda relate to what poo poo post malone said about feeling bad about feeling bad. It does not feel great for the worst feeling time of my life to be from inside of the candy jail.
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Oct 21, 2021 07:00
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Impermanent posted:My depression has been real bad lately. It sounds like you've been shunned by the people you trusted and cared about, all because you were brave enough to intervene and do the right thing. When someone close to me was sexually abused by another person who was close to me, it turned my life upside-down. I felt like an idiot for not recognizing the warning signs earlier, I felt like I had enabled it, and I questioned all of my interactions with the person who was harmed. I genuinely feel like I did things that made that person's life worse, and I didn't even realize it. Even if I rationally know I'm right, it's hard to deal with the group consensus being against me. Not everyone knew or understood what had happened, but they saw me as the problem for rocking the boat. People who stand by when others are mistreated end up fostering a toxic atmosphere. Unfortunately, there's a huge amount of peer pressure to do so. It often feels like the consequences for standing up to abusive people are worse than the consequences for actually being an abusive person. I don't know what you're thinking and feeling, but I'd feel betrayed and guilty after enduring all of that. Holy loving poo poo does it feel bad when someone apparently gets away with something so vile. The abuser I knew went through the "justice" system, and ended up receiving community service for years of sexually abusing someone. He was basically able to continue life as usual. This happened years ago, and thinking about it makes me feel like it's happening all over again. It's so easy to become bitter and resentful after those kinds of experiences. Kudos to you for still trying to make the world a better place after all of that.
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Oct 22, 2021 16:35
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Uganda Loves Me posted:I admit I didn't go back and read what you initially said in detail and in context until now. I played a game of telephone when I could have just gone back and read what you said in the first place. I think you raised valid points, and I misrepresented them in at least one of my posts. I'm sorry about that. I've found it's usually a safe bet to listen to and defer to people who have actually experienced something. It's ok, we're ok  .Jorge Bell posted:I have sympathy for your poo poo but this: I've done therapy and have lived with this for 36 years, I'm not interested in hurting myself or anyone else for that matter.
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Oct 22, 2021 19:24
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I've been pretty depressed lately. I found out my work has spring health as part of our benefits now. It seems good so far. You get a counselor that actually helps set up appointments for you and coordinates care between therapist and if you need it psychiatrist. I really needed that push to just get an appointment set up with a new psych and therapist. I have so much trouble calling people as others in this thread have expressed. I was able to get a phone appointment set up online with the counselor and he just called me, and we set up the appointment together, it was really simple. Now i feel like i have someone to make sure I'm continuing to take my meds and see a therapist. The therapist seems cool. He gave me practical things to do instead of just talking about my problems. I think that's what i need. The only downside with the service is they can't prescribe controlled drugs and i am on vyvanse, and when i let my NP know i got a second opinion they said they can't see me anymore which seems weird. But anyway I'm trying wellbutrin and if it helps my adhd maybe i can get off the vyvanse anyway.
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Oct 23, 2021 17:48
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Dixville posted:I've been pretty depressed lately. I found out my work has spring health as part of our benefits now. It seems good so far. You get a counselor that actually helps set up appointments for you and coordinates care between therapist and if you need it psychiatrist. I really needed that push to just get an appointment set up with a new psych and therapist. I have so much trouble calling people as others in this thread have expressed. I was able to get a phone appointment set up online with the counselor and he just called me, and we set up the appointment together, it was really simple. Now i feel like i have someone to make sure I'm continuing to take my meds and see a therapist. That service sounds really nice. I had something like that as an undergrad for a while, and it really helped me pull myself together. Finding new help for mental health has always been hard for me. I wish that was standard everywhere. I don't know of any legitimate reason why someone couldn't see you again after getting a second opinion. I can see it causing insurance problems, but I don't think that's the case here. Maybe they were offended you saw someone else? If so, it may be a good thing that they won't see you again. Changing medication for any reason other than it being in your own medical best interest sucks. If the current medication works well for you, it might be worth finding someone who can prescribe it. If you're struggling, then trying something different might be helpful, though. I've been on a relatively high dose (300mg) of Wellbutrin XL for a decade now, and it's the only antidepressant I tried that didn't have nasty side-effects. I hope it works for you.
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Oct 23, 2021 19:47
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Is getting on wellbutrin as a preventative measure for seasonal affective disorder difficult/advisable? I have enough structure in my life right now that I don't expect everything to fall to poo poo, but the dark period of the year is harder for me than the rest of the year.
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Oct 23, 2021 20:20
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It's probably not a good idea for any of us to advise you one way or another. You can ask your doctor, and they might have other suggestions. It could be a coincidence, but my SAD isn't nearly as bad since I started taking vitamin D. Some people like lightboxes: https://www.healthline.com/health/sad-lamp#our-picks (just something that came up on google). There's also the usual coping skills: eating healthy, getting enough sleep and exercising. I saw a presentation by a psychiatrist who mentioned a study that showed exercise was just as effective as an antidepressant in some people. He joked that if you could sell exercise in pill form, everyone would want it. A good support system is extremely helpful, too. Depression sneaks up on me, but having people who can recognize what's going on helps. If I let it get bad enough, then I don't feel like using any healthy coping mechanisms. This can be a therapist, a support group, or a friend/family member who knows what to look for and how to talk to you in a healthy way. There may be other programs out there, but I've heard good things about NAMI's Family to Family class: https://www.nami.org/Support-Education/Mental-Health-Education/NAMI-Family-to-Family. If you have someone you trust, they can learn how to communicate with you, help you, and how to cope with having a loved one who struggles with mental health.
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Oct 23, 2021 21:32
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Yeah, one of the reasons I haven't moved out of this hellhole called Texas is because we get a decent amount of sunlight all year around (a little too much 6 months of the year), I spent one year in new york state and the hudson river valley in full late fall/early winter gloom was the most horrifyingly depressive places I've ever been. I could absolutely see why it was picked as a spooky place to write the headless horseman in. I'll second asking the doc about vitamin D supplements, I'm on some rhino dose of 50,000 units pill, once a week, and I think its helped quite a bit. Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 06:04 on Oct 24, 2021 |
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Oct 24, 2021 06:01
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Dixville posted:I've been pretty depressed lately. I found out my work has spring health as part of our benefits now. It seems good so far. You get a counselor that actually helps set up appointments for you and coordinates care between therapist and if you need it psychiatrist. I really needed that push to just get an appointment set up with a new psych and therapist. I have so much trouble calling people as others in this thread have expressed. I was able to get a phone appointment set up online with the counselor and he just called me, and we set up the appointment together, it was really simple. Now i feel like i have someone to make sure I'm continuing to take my meds and see a therapist. Did you tell your NP (not sure what that abbreviation means - maybe a nurse practitioner?) that you were seeing a therapist, or did you specifically say "second opinion?" If you said second opinion it might have come off like you didn't trust them and that you were seeing another general medical practitioner that would be undermining/conflicting with them, but it would be weird for your general medical practitioner to be upset about you seeing a mental health therapist and psychiatrist (maybe a US medical insurance thing). If you're up for it, I would try talking to your NP again and clear the air/figure out what happened. Vitamin D is good, SAD lamps are good. My sleep doctor made it very clear that the little handheld ones aren't worth anything - get one of the actual desk lamp models that shines above the level of your eyes like actual sunlight for best effect. e: to put it another way, medical professionals don't like if you're seeing multiple people for the same thing because it conflicts, but unless they're major jerks, they are happy with you seeing different people for different needs. a nurse practitioner can do a lot, but they're not a talk therapist or a psych and they should know that. Arivia has issued a correction as of 06:32 on Oct 24, 2021 |
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Oct 24, 2021 06:27
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I was depressed for a few weeks and it felt like I was running on empty for a while. There's some unresolved trauma I dealt with when I play the part of caretaker but with some time and understanding that it was manageable this time, I was able to keep from getting worse. I think I'm slowly getting better. I'm definitely not 100% but the difference between where I was and where I am now is stark. I only hope that it continues. Ice Phisherman has issued a correction as of 08:18 on Oct 24, 2021 |
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Oct 24, 2021 08:13
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Arivia posted:
This is true but a lot of them are understanding if you're seeing a bunch of people because the system is hosed and each professional is addressing different parts of the same problem. My mental health nurse practitioner is prescribing me meds, three of which I get for free from a local community center, and one of which (adderal generic) is on a Schedule, and she couldn't prescribe it. Finding a doc that did at a clinic that basically lets me go there for free took a ton of work, and I do everything I can to keep both the NP and (Physical) doc aware of what the other is doing and prescribing. This coming month I'm actually seeing both on the same day, at their different places, one right after another. Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 11:04 on Oct 24, 2021 |
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Oct 24, 2021 11:01
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thotsky posted:Is getting on wellbutrin as a preventative measure for seasonal affective disorder difficult/advisable? I have enough structure in my life right now that I don't expect everything to fall to poo poo, but the dark period of the year is harder for me than the rest of the year. https://www.aafp.org/afp/2017/0101/p10.html that study and a few others came up with a google search. seems straightforward enough for a psychiatrist to assess and address ya?
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Oct 24, 2021 17:43
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Arivia posted:Did you tell your NP (not sure what that abbreviation means - maybe a nurse practitioner?) that you were seeing a therapist, or did you specifically say "second opinion?" If you said second opinion it might have come off like you didn't trust them and that you were seeing another general medical practitioner that would be undermining/conflicting with them, but it would be weird for your general medical practitioner to be upset about you seeing a mental health therapist and psychiatrist (maybe a US medical insurance thing). If you're up for it, I would try talking to your NP again and clear the air/figure out what happened. Yeah he's a nurse practitioner. I think it's what you're saying, where they are treating me for the same thing, and they don't feel comfortable continuing care. The other weird thing is the receptionist told me he had already asked for me to be transferred to a psychiatrist and he never said that to me... i think I'm better off just finding someone else at this point. Maybe my general practitioner would feel okay prescribing for me if i explain the situation. I've also gotten scripts from urgent care before but one time the guy lectured me about how i was basically taking meth and made me bawl my eyes out so that sucked. But otherwise i had no issue. I'll figure something out.
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Oct 24, 2021 23:50
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Dixville posted:Yeah he's a nurse practitioner. I think it's what you're saying, where they are treating me for the same thing, and they don't feel comfortable continuing care. The other weird thing is the receptionist told me he had already asked for me to be transferred to a psychiatrist and he never said that to me... i think I'm better off just finding someone else at this point. Maybe my general practitioner would feel okay prescribing for me if i explain the situation. I've also gotten scripts from urgent care before but one time the guy lectured me about how i was basically taking meth and made me bawl my eyes out so that sucked. But otherwise i had no issue. I'll figure something out. That sounds like an extremely lovely NP and talking to your GP about continuing the prescription seems like the best bet. Good luck!
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Oct 25, 2021 00:00
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Years ago, I had a NP who gave me a long explanation about how she understands my financial situation. She said it would be cheaper for me if I didn't see her as often, and suggested we switch from monthly appointments to every 3 months. When I talked to the receptionist, I found out that the NP was leaving the practice in 3 months. She was firing her patients early by talking them into postponing appointments until after she was gone. In retrospect, she was not very knowledgeable or respectful. Her replacement was much better. I'm wary of any medical practitioner who fires a patient without warning or explanation. It makes sense to not have multiple NPs working at cross-purposes with medication management, but that's something a good practitioner will talk to a patient about.
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Oct 25, 2021 06:48
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So I don't exactly know the best way to put this but like, the therapist I've been seeing for a while now and I have been talking over a lot of stuff lately about the fragility of my personal situation and stuff like that in various discussions around me getting disability and stuff. Thing is, they have a very lib-centered way around viewing situations like this and I don't really know how to talk about it and really verbalize my feelings on it without just getting super deep into stuff that they just end up writing off as 'yeah the world is terrible and it's hard out there but with proper mindfulness and positive thinking...' Like, I'm doing everything I can every single day to try and get stuff in better order but watching stuff fall apart almost as fast as I can try to get a stable foundation and only keeping my head above water by the grace of people who have no reason to help me and could very well end up not being able to at any random point is just soul crushing in a very specific way and I don't know how to explain how material conditions and stuff shapes that without them going 'oh so you just want us to sign off on your checks and pay for a service worker for you before you say you can get any better?' How do I even begin settling any of that?
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Oct 26, 2021 00:14
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ACES CURE PLANES posted:So I don't exactly know the best way to put this but like, the therapist I've been seeing for a while now and I have been talking over a lot of stuff lately about the fragility of my personal situation and stuff like that in various discussions around me getting disability and stuff. Thing is, they have a very lib-centered way around viewing situations like this and I don't really know how to talk about it and really verbalize my feelings on it without just getting super deep into stuff that they just end up writing off as 'yeah the world is terrible and it's hard out there but with proper mindfulness and positive thinking...' I'm in the US, and I don't want to assume everyone else is. These failures of social services are very common here. This is something that's been on my mind for a while now. I've been trying to get at it over the past few weeks in this thread, but it's hard to put into words. Many of us need a level of accommodation that doesn't exist. I saw Crip Camp not too long ago (https://cripcamp.com/). Getting the Americans with Disabilities Act passed was a hard fight. There was a lot of pushback back then, and I still see a lot of pushback. My sister has severe physical and developmental disabilities that require constant care and attention. She's only alive because of my mother's constant fights with the medical establishment, insurance companies, and the state. My parents were able to adopt my sister because my mother is a certified nurse, and can take care of my sister full-time due to my dad having a decent job. Most people don't have that level of help, and I am certain my sister wouldn't have lived to adulthood without it. I know that's not quite the same as having a mental health diagnosis, but I think it's fair to compare the two. Here's something I pulled from the World Health Organization's website (https://www.who.int/mental_health/management/info_sheet.pdf): "There is a 10-25 year life expectancy reduction in patients with severe mental disorders. [...] The majority of deaths of patients with severe mental illness that are due to physical medical conditions are preventable with more attentive checks for physical illness, side effects of medicines and suicidal tendencies. [...] People with severe mental disorders are also more likely to receive lower quality health and social care than the general population." This probably isn't news to any of us, but I think it helps to see it laid out like that from an authoritative source. Lots of people are suffering and dying because of a broken system, not a broken brain. I strongly believe that everyone deserves to have their basic needs met, at the very least. I see it as a fundamental human right. I get the impression that many people would smile and nod at that sentiment, while forcefully opposing any attempt to make it happen. Discrimination against those who struggle with mental health issues is a huge problem. Our concerns are taken less seriously. We're openly mocked. Employers don't want to hire us. Cops will straight-up torture and murder us. All of the coping skills in the world won't change that. For some reason, we're expected to find comfort in the idea that these issues are beyond our control. I think it's pretty loving understandable to be upset about that, and I'm tired of people treating our response as just another symptom of our mental illness. These are very real systemic problems, and the solution is not to pull up harder on our bootstraps. Where does this leave us? I honestly have no idea. That WHO article has some suggestions. We need systemic changes, but that doesn't exactly help us individuals until then. It feels like the burden of a mental illness falls entirely on us and those in our immediate vicinity. That's incredibly stressful. It leads to feelings of guilt and shame. It's unfair to us and to those trying to help. I think it's incredibly unfair that we have a system where underpaid therapists are expected to address all of these problems by talking to us. I have a lot of respect for people who try to help others through therapy. When I went to grad school, it was a toss-up between my program and social work. I wanted to be an LCSW, but I concluded that I wasn't resilient enough for it. My previous therapist was liberal, and made me feel devalued as a human being. She outright told me that my labor wasn't worth very much. I think she genuinely got into that line of work to help others, and I think she genuinely believed she was helping me. An LCSW has to jump through all kinds of hoops just to get into a stressful job that doesn't pay very well. Therapists are supposed to help us with our personal problems, but they're stuck helping us with mental health and coping with capitalism. It's as if they've been set up to fail. I'm not giving up on therapy, and I feel like I've learned a lot from various therapists. I'd like to find a therapist with similar views about systemic issues and solutions, but I wonder how much of a difference that would really make. Maybe I'd feel validated and valued. Maybe they'd be more inclined to help me access social services. I would still be struggling with my material circumstances though, and that'd be beyond their ability to fix.
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Oct 26, 2021 03:33
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hello! I’m totally demoralized. I’ve applied for basically every open job in my field…in the entire United States….since may. It’s me. I can’t sell myself. gently caress
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Oct 26, 2021 03:36
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Thanks Uganda, I periodically am reminded how a lot of Mental Health is ideological enforcement, with overwhelming systematic violence, against outliers. The helplessly unhinged schizophrenic or addict or similar dire cases are brought out to tar all mentally ill people as unable to care for themselves and in need of "tough love" (when it isn't just open calls for extermination, which seem to be building) Pillow: If its been 6 months of nonemployment, you might be able to qualify for food stamps in your state, especially if you can get a doctor's note stating your conditions making employment not possible. I've been dealing with being knocked out of the job market, probably for good with a mindset that I just need to figure out how to survive without working. It sucks. I've been able to scramble enough resources to stay alive, food stamps, free medical care, etc, but I count myself incredibly lucky. Honestly? I think we're at a junction in history similar to the early industrial period with a bunch of unemployed farmers came to the city looking for work, a total changeup in how people live, except uh, instead of new work its no work. From the fields to the factories and then finally to mom's basement. Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 14:23 on Oct 26, 2021 |
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Oct 26, 2021 14:18
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Thank you. These are ideas that I'm still trying to figure out. I speak to lots of peers and various types of mental health advocates all the time in person, but I can't really have these conversations with them. I'm struggling to put coherent thoughts together, and it takes an embarrassing amount of time and effort to put together a longer post. By the time I'm done writing, it's hard for me to even evaluate what I wrote. I find writing helpful to figure things out for myself, and it's nice to hear others' thoughts. It's heartwarming to see so many people supporting each other in this thread. 
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Oct 26, 2021 17:58
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my best friend and fellow goon Shamshel just ODd, went over to his apartment because he hadn't shown up to work in two days, no answer so had to wait for the police to get there before the super would unlock it. he would have hate hate hated it so much that it was the police that found him. second good friend Ive lost this year goddamnit Fuck You And Diebold has issued a correction as of 03:03 on Oct 27, 2021 |
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Oct 27, 2021 02:59
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gently caress You And Diebold posted:my best friend and fellow goon Shamshel just ODd, went over to his apartment because he hadn't shown up to work in two days, no answer so had to wait for the police to get there before the super would unlock it. he would have hate hate hated it so much that it was the police that found him. second good friend Ive lost this year gently caress. I’m so sorry.
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Oct 27, 2021 03:28
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ACES CURE PLANES posted:So I don't exactly know the best way to put this but like, the therapist I've been seeing for a while now and I have been talking over a lot of stuff lately about the fragility of my personal situation and stuff like that in various discussions around me getting disability and stuff. Thing is, they have a very lib-centered way around viewing situations like this and I don't really know how to talk about it and really verbalize my feelings on it without just getting super deep into stuff that they just end up writing off as 'yeah the world is terrible and it's hard out there but with proper mindfulness and positive thinking...' well i think if you feel in general that this therapist is someone who gets you and you value the connection with them it's worth bringing this up to them. you could say it in a way that isn't related to their knowledge of the world or their politics. "it makes me feel like poo poo when you minimize what how hard it is to get help" or "it makes me angry when your response to my pain is mindfulness and positive thinking" and really, it's on them to decide where to go from there. if they are good at their job they'll really try to emapthize and adapt. if not they'll probably do the opposite and as a leftist you know what that looks like. i dont think its inappropriate either to ask in a truly curious and non-confrontational way "have you ever had interactions with these social services departments, phone trees, etc" if you are curious. maybe do they know something you don't. how much experience does this person have? mindfulness and positive thinking is typically a crutch of newer (and bad) therapists. they are great tools to have in your toolbox as a therapist but it can't be the whole thing. sometimes it's too painful for them to sit in their client's pain so they purposefully distance themselves from you via Techniques and Homework and Worksheets. feels very lib/dem means testing stuff edit: imo thehandtruck has issued a correction as of 06:26 on Oct 27, 2021 |
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Oct 27, 2021 06:21
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