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ChunTheUnavoidable posted:doing the mrs doubtfire restaurant scene but I’m going to two therapy appointments in the same building Going to a therapist who is insufficiently sympathetic and then going to a second therapist to whine about that therapist sounds like an ep of "curb your enthusiasm." AITA for using my wife's razor to shave my rear end? quote:
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Oct 24, 2021 17:41
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He’s right, it is cheaper. Ruling in favor of the husband. Next!
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Oct 24, 2021 17:45
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Invisible Clergy posted:Going to a therapist who is insufficiently sympathetic and then going to a second therapist to whine about that therapist sounds like an ep of "curb your enthusiasm." so what does this guy shave his face with?
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Oct 24, 2021 17:47
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Seth Pecksniff posted:So The courts are ideally supposed to rule in the best interest of the child, though it doesn't always work out that way. Being housed is in their better interest over living in a shelter, outside of extenuating circumstances like abuse and the like, which it sounds like the court either isn't aware of or hasn't had proven to them. The brilliant idea to move to a state where she has an active warrant out for her doesn't bode well for her decision making skills, either.
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Oct 24, 2021 17:47
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Thanks!
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Oct 24, 2021 17:48
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nvidiagouge posted:Specific details matter a lot when dealing with living arrangements. She didn't owe an explanation but giving a date ahead of time would have been the decent thing to do. It would for sure have caused more crazy drama but for me at least I would have to do it to have a clear conscience in that situation. She did giver her a date ahead of time. She also wisely moved out before giving her that date, saving all the drama. Just how much more time, labor, money and emotional support do you think she should she have given her for  purposes?
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Oct 24, 2021 17:49
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Piell posted:AITA for telling my husband to have his therapy sessions somewhere else? I choose to believe he's combined them into a Chaturbate addiction. DemoneeHo posted:(MA) late brother's partner suing family for Money "I have no idea how my terminally ill brother's partner, a named beneficiary of the will, got a copy of the will" is some impressive mush-brains. What I can't quite decide is if the family is just that stupid in general, or if they're specifically surprised that a non-white homosexual could get a copy of the will.
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Oct 24, 2021 18:05
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pentyne posted:(MA) late brother's partner suing family for Money So what's the over/under on the amount of money they initially gave to the guy's partner so they could pretend they did the fair thing?  ?
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Oct 24, 2021 18:10
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the holy poopacy posted:So what's the over/under on the amount of money they initially gave to the guy's partner so they could pretend they did the fair thing? Based off "well off" and mid 30's I'm presuming they gave him a couple grand and really he was owed in the 5-6 figures. He should just take them to the cleaners, even if it takes years, pursue criminal charges for the fraud, and gouge a symbol of his love with his partner deep into the rotting family tree. Also, "I dunno how he got a copy of the will" not only gives away how craven these loving bigots are, but also that they knew what they were doing was illegal.
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Oct 24, 2021 18:43
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spouse posted:Based off "well off" and mid 30's I'm presuming they gave him a couple grand and really he was owed in the 5-6 figures. He should just take them to the cleaners, even if it takes years, pursue criminal charges for the fraud, and gouge a symbol of his love with his partner deep into the rotting family tree. They stole $850k.
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Oct 24, 2021 18:49
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pentyne posted:(MA) late brother's partner suing family for Money I really wish we got an update on this one.
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Oct 24, 2021 19:22
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Scaevolus posted:Seems extremely normal to discover your wife is cheating on you, treat her as a despicable whore for a year, then reach enlightenment and treat her as your whore for another 15 years before discarding her. |t isn't about the 'whore' it's about his kid. It was always about the kid. Even if it is wrong, there is a widespread belief that dads get hosed on custody. He didn't want to be an every other weekend dad, he wanted to be a fulltime dad. Broken homes have negative affects on a child's wellbeing and outcomes. Being raised by a single parent is objectively worse than being raised in a happy home by two parents. If he breaks up with her she's going to keep dating. So either a parade of 'uncles' or she remarries and their son has to deal with the whole blended family thing which we've seen goes very wrong for many kids. Stress and acrimony for both parents and the kid. It sounds like he did the math and decided the best possible outcome for his completely blameless kid would be for the parents to stay together in a stable family relationship. But he's a human being with real feelings and couldn't put his own anger and bitterness aside so easily, so instead he came up with a compromise where he would set it aside for 16 years -- it's easier when you know it is temporary. They both agreed to put their own lives and happiness on hold for 16 years for the benefit of their child. She agreed to this. And then he didn't bring it up and throw it in her face constantly -- that doesn't make him the bad guy. He followed both the letter and the spirit of the agreement to provide a happy home life for a blameless child for the next 16 years. Now they are both able to move on with their lives. If the son was born while they were both teenagers they are probably around 36 years old or so? Plenty of time find new partners if they want to. At 18 the kid won't have to engage with step-parents, step-siblings and half-siblings more than he wants to. Sacrificing 16 years of your own life and happiness for your child doesn't make you a psychopath. It's not about her. It is about their child.
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Oct 24, 2021 19:44
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Men who fight for custody get it, particularly if they can portray their ex as an irresponsible party girl. I cannot imagine a person who would not be hosed up to learn that it is possible for someone to look for all intents and purposes indistinguishable from someone who loves you for sixteen years. How would ever, for the rest of your life, be able to trust that someone loved you and wouldn't just turn it off like a switch? When someone leaves you behind while they travel, does not speak to you, does not spend time with you, opts to sleep in another room, will not make themselves a part of your day-to-day life, does it matter if they told you once sixteen years ago that they would love you forever? When someone takes you around the world, kisses you in the morning, holds you at night, dries your tears when you're upset, entwines your life so thoroughly with theirs that you cannot imagine it without them, does it matter if they told you once sixteen years ago that they would never love you again?
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Oct 24, 2021 19:55
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Everett False posted:Men who fight for custody get it, particularly if they can portray their ex as an irresponsible party girl. I cannot imagine a person who would not be hosed up to learn that it is possible for someone to look for all intents and purposes indistinguishable from someone who loves you for sixteen years. How would ever, for the rest of your life, be able to trust that someone loved you and wouldn't just turn it off like a switch? It is not about her. It is about her child.
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Oct 24, 2021 19:57
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that's a whole lotta words about the guy who just ended what appeared to be a happy long-term partnership based on a sentence he said 16 years ago. They started loving again, they started going on dates again and vacations and spent time with eachother's families. They were a couple again by any definition. I don't think he's a "psychopath" but it's a huuuuuge stretch to twist "hey remember that thing I said when you cheated on me nearly two decades ago? a'ight, i'm outta here and this is a completely reasonable thing" into a rational, totally chill move. He can leave if he wants to, he's got no obligation to stay and can end a relationship for any reason he wants to, including cheating decades past. But it is incredibly clear that she did not actually agree to the arrangement he "proposed" in the way that he either thought or rationalized she did.
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Oct 24, 2021 19:58
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Whole lot of men in this thread unintentionally showing off that they fundamentally do not grasp what the 'informed' part of 'informed, enthusiastic consent' means.
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Oct 24, 2021 20:03
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Everett False posted:Men who fight for custody get it, particularly if they can portray their ex as an irresponsible party girl. That is true. There is still a widespread belief that dads get hosed on custody. spouse posted:that's a whole lotta words about the guy who just ended what appeared to be a happy long-term partnership based on a sentence he said 16 years ago. Oh yeah, they are both total fuckups. You don't have a baby as teenagers without loving up. You don't get married as pregnant teenagers without another kind of fuckup. I assume the hosed up values that led to him marrying his teenage baby momma contributed to his elaborate scheme to provide his son with a Leave It To Beaver childhood. Facebook Aunt fucked around with this message at 20:07 on Oct 24, 2021 |
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Oct 24, 2021 20:04
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I cannot imagine what it would have done to me to have turned eighteen and learned that it was possible for someone to hide the depth of their disdain for that long. To learn that it was out of a sense of obligation to me that they would trap themselves in a loveless marriage, trapping someone else so well she didn't even know she wasn't loved. To know that this was what would be expected to me when it came to my obligations to a hypothetical child. What does a happy childhood count for when you learn that the entire thing was a lie for your sake? It takes some people years to learn that love is shown in actions and not words, and at eighteen this person learns that even actions aren't enough. There is no amount of care a person can show for you that cannot turn out at any moment to have been done from a sense of loveless duty, and you know this because you watched it happen.
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Oct 24, 2021 20:07
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Staying together for the kids used to be a pretty common thing; it's not so surprising some people still believe in that. We only have the framing of the OP, the cheater with a broken heart, to go on, and yeah if this dude mumbled something about staying together for the kid 16 years ago, and then faked being a perfect loving partner only so he could take his revenge by revealing his master plan down the road that would be an extremely hosed up thing to do. However, it seems unlikely for anyone to be able to hide something like that. I think it's possible this lady just sees what she wants to see because she wants to be with this guy, and he's mostly guilty of resigning himself to being miserable for a decade and a half out of some outmoded sense of honor.
thotsky fucked around with this message at 20:14 on Oct 24, 2021 |
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Oct 24, 2021 20:09
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IIRC (or maybe it was another post) but the couple wasn't even married. And no common law marriage in that state. Did he cut contact with the kid or just tell the mom it was over? AITA for accidently causing a kid to be outed to his parents? quote:I'm a single dad to my daughter Kaya(16F) and she has a bestfriend Kyle (15M) who's lived next door since they were 10/11. In the last few months Kaya has expressed romantic interest in Kyle, flirting etc.
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Oct 24, 2021 20:15
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Everett False posted:I cannot imagine what it would have done to me to have turned eighteen and learned that it was possible for someone to hide the depth of their disdain for that long. To learn that it was out of a sense of obligation to me that they would trap themselves in a loveless marriage, trapping someone else so well she didn't even know she wasn't loved. To know that this was what would be expected to me when it came to my obligations to a hypothetical child. What does a happy childhood count for when you learn that the entire thing was a lie for your sake? It takes some people years to learn that love is shown in actions and not words, and at eighteen this person learns that even actions aren't enough. There is no amount of care a person can show for you that cannot turn out at any moment to have been done from a sense of loveless duty, and you know this because you watched it happen. Whoa dude, but have you considered: She cheated. lmao
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Oct 24, 2021 20:16
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Cowslips Warren posted:AITA for accidently causing a kid to be outed to his parents? dear reddit, I handled a situation in a way that managed to simultaneously hurt every single person even tangentially involved in it. was i wrong??????
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Oct 24, 2021 20:22
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That kid is never going to have a healthy relationship ever again lol Edit: the 18 year count of monte cristo divorce kid
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Oct 24, 2021 20:23
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Facebook Aunt posted:|t isn't about the 'whore' it's about his kid. It was always about the kid. You see son, science told me that the only way you'd be happy as an adult is if I lied to your whore mother so she wouldn't be riding the cock carousel. Now that you're 18 and I can't emotionally damage you you're ready for this.
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Oct 24, 2021 20:26
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Facebook Aunt posted:
I do not agree with what you have said, and I think your tangent on the morality of teenage pregnancy is weird at best, also, they aren't married. Lying to your partner about your intentions and using them for sex, companionship, and stability for decades is bad, whatever level on the spectrum of morality you assign it, it certainly should fall on the "no no zone". To restate: Facebook Aunt posted:They both agreed to put their own lives and happiness on hold for 16 years for the benefit of their child. She agreed to this. And then he didn't bring it up and throw it in her face constantly -- that doesn't make him the bad guy. He followed both the letter and the spirit of the agreement to provide a happy home life for a blameless child for the next 16 years. This is factually wrong. She did not meaningfully agree to anything of the sort once he proceeded to give her affection, intimacy, love and companionship. My only possible agreement here is that I do not think he's a "psychopath" for doing this, because you can't assign psychopathy to someone when you don't hear their side of a story. I think he's a bad person. thotsky posted:Staying together for the kids used to be a pretty common thing; it's not so surprising some people still believe in that. We only have the framing of the OP, the cheater with a broken heart, to go on, and yeah if this dude mumbled something about staying together for the kid 16 years ago, and then faked being a perfect loving partner only so he could take his revenge by revealing his master plan down the road that would be an extremely hosed up thing to do. However, it seems unlikely for anyone to be able to hide something like that. I think it's possible this lady just sees what she wants to see because she wants to be with this guy, and he's mostly guilty of resigning himself to being miserable for a decade and a half out of some outmoded sense of honor. The eternal thread dilemma is that you almost never get to hear both sides of the story 
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Oct 24, 2021 20:27
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Crossing off the days on a calendar leading up to my teenage son’s birthday. He’s not gonna believe it when he finds out his entire family has been a lie since the day he was born. It’s a good thing I waited until he’s just beginning to learn about sex and relationships to spring this on him
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Oct 24, 2021 20:29
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All the fanfiction in the thread about that story and no one even considers that he might just tell the son "well, we just drifted apart, and once you turned 18 I decided you were old enough that when we split it wouldn't be traumatic" You know he doesn't have to tell the son how many dicks his mom was taking, right?
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Oct 24, 2021 20:29
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i can't find anything public more recent than 2006 but there's a decent amount of talk among college employees about how to help freshmen cope with surprise divorces: https://news.psu.edu/story/206200/2006/01/10/parents-unexpected-divorce-can-destabilize-new-college-students-life apparently it's not uncommon at all for parents to stop living together once their kid has flown the coop.
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Oct 24, 2021 20:30
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The count of monte custody
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Oct 24, 2021 20:31
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:i can't find anything public more recent than 2006 but there's a decent amount of talk among college employees about how to help freshmen cope with surprise divorces: https://news.psu.edu/story/206200/2006/01/10/parents-unexpected-divorce-can-destabilize-new-college-students-life apparently it's not uncommon at all for parents to stop living together once their kid has flown the coop. That was my parents. Once my brothers were both officially moved out (I'd been out for years at that point), they 'coincidentally' got divorced.
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Oct 24, 2021 20:39
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The dude is a dipshit at best. Like, divorce before the kid is old enough to know what's going on so both of you can live your best lives. Instead he sentenced himself to 18 years of misery to own his wife
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Oct 24, 2021 20:40
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pentyne posted:All the fanfiction in the thread about that story and no one even considers that he might just tell the son "well, we just drifted apart, and once you turned 18 I decided you were old enough that when we split it wouldn't be traumatic" The mother's super distraught, you don't think she'll let slip how this has come out of nowhere for her? If he's gonna lie about it, he's leaving way too much room for someone to point out the holes in his story. It's just nuts to me how he was starting to go back to normal relationship things, including sex with his wife, if this was his plan. That's so gross, letting a woman think you're in an arrangement that you are absolutely not and having sex with her as a result. Was THAT "for his kid?"
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Oct 24, 2021 20:40
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I wish I'd had "lets play happy families for 16 years" dad instead of the dad I had. My parents broke up when I was 2, and my dad was a deadbeat who contributed nothing and I saw all of 3 or 4 times in the following 16 years. 
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Oct 24, 2021 20:45
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Facebook Aunt posted:I wish I'd had "lets play happy families for 16 years" dad instead of the dad I had. My parents broke up when I was 2, and my dad was a deadbeat who contributed nothing and I saw all of 3 or 4 times in the following 16 years. Doesn't excuse the retroactive consent problems in the guy's relationship with his wife. That's gross.
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Oct 24, 2021 20:47
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ChunTheUnavoidable posted:
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Oct 24, 2021 20:48
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In my fanfic followup he marries a 26yo woman a year later and has 3 kids with her. I guess they weren't actually married, but common law marriage is Obviously Morally Correct so I don't care.
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Oct 24, 2021 20:52
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rain dogs posted:The dude is a dipshit at best. Like, divorce before the kid is old enough to know what's going on so both of you can live your best lives. Instead he sentenced himself to 18 years of misery to own his wife Listen, it's like how you leave poo poo in the slow cooker to make it more tender. He was just letting that revenge get all juicy and fall-off-the-bone.
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Oct 24, 2021 20:57
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Since we're still going on about this guy from the rehashed storyquote:while he loves me, he's not in love with me Midnight Voyager posted:Doesn't excuse the retroactive consent problems in the guy's relationship with his wife. That's gross. It's a genuine question because I have a really strict definition of consent and I'm totally willing to go with you and call this non-consensual, but my experience is that very few people view consent that strictly even people who advocate for enthusiastic informed consent. For example, cheaters inherently break consent in this context, but outside of some edge cases no one is going around calling cheaters rapists.
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Oct 24, 2021 21:05
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Cowslips Warren posted:AITA for accidently causing a kid to be outed to his parents? Well that's about the worst possible way he could have handled it. Congrats on ruining Kyle's life and probably giving your daughter a bi/homophobic complex.
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Oct 24, 2021 21:06
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Olewithmilk posted:Yah the real "backbone" thing to do would be to separate as soon as it happened and give your kid the chance to come to terms with it over time and still try and provide a stable environment in that space. Not to slowly develop a soul bomb of drama ready to explode after 18 years. Soul Bomb of Drama is an excellent username
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Oct 24, 2021 21:11
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