r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

AITA for not wanting to do thanksgiving dinner at my parents w/o my wife? (self.AmItheAsshole)

quote:

I (30M) feel stupid for even asking. My sister (29) and my wife (34f) did not have the best history. Before we met my wife was my sister�s landlady and she was renting the room at the back of my wife�s house 6 years ago. She got evicted less than 4 months after moving in because my sister did not pay her rent at all. Then she was taken to court for damages that costed way more than she put down on the security deposit. My sister did end up having to pay but basically hated my wife for this. We met after this all went down and I went to go pick up my sister�s stuff she left behind that my wife was decent enough to not have thrown out yet. We started chatting and really hit it off. Started dating, year and a half later she got pregnant with our son. Now happily married but my sister never took it well. We weren�t as close before all this but after becoming a �traitor� in her eyes we didn�t talk much. She hasn�t even met my son who�s 3. My parents are really trying to push for us all to have a family thanksgiving at their place. My sister never wanted to go because I�d be there with my wife and she didn�t want to see me. My parents never pushed it before because they didn�t think my sister was being fair considering the issues she has with my wife we�re all things she did herself.

This year they feel different though since my sister broke up with her boyfriend of 6 years and it�s her first holiday w/o him. She however doesn�t wanna see my son or wife so that�s why they�re asking if they be left at home. My wife doesn�t have any other family and I don�t want her and my son missing out because my sister doesn�t want them there. It�s not a problem for me to miss out on dinner with my wife so my sister could have the company and I just stay home with my own family. My sister is blowing it out of proportion because she wants me there but I�m being an rear end in a top hat because she wants �the whole family there.� Parents are taking her side here because it�s been a difficult year losing her boyfriend and job so she just wants one family dinner for thanksgiving. I get it it�s been tough for her I�m just having s hard time seeing how it�s selfish or being inconsiderate to not want to exclude my family.

# ? Nov 12, 2021 16:29

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# ? May 28, 2024 08:50

Maiden: Mar 18, 2008

Arsenic Lupin posted:

There are two more updates.

This is just sad. He has a really good thing and clearly respects her and just can't get over himself.

Also, it was a sexist thing. It's always a sexist thing. Him saying he'd feel the same if the genders were reversed is just him trying to justify it as not one, but it's pretty clear that he feels this way because that's his family's culture. Hope counseling will help, but considering how unwilling he is to bend on 'sitting at the head' this is a doomed marriage. :smith:

# ? Nov 12, 2021 16:33

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

No no you don't understand honey, it's not sexist! I simply believe that as a woman, you are inferior to me!

# ? Nov 12, 2021 16:38

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

AITA for naming my son after myself, after my ex demanded he be named after him? (self.AmItheAsshole)

quote:

I (F29) was with my ex (M39) for a year and a half.

I own a business that I started and grew before meeting him. He worked/works for his dads company. We started having issues in the relationship when he started to talk about leaving his family business to co-own mine. I would politely but very firmly say no, you don�t have any knowledge about how my company works (think beauty industry vs. auto industry) and if you want to work in my company you will have to start in areas where your skill set can be applied. You cant just step in as a new co-owner and not to mention we hadn�t even discussed marriage at this point, I�m not about to hand over half of my business to a guy I haven�t even considered marrying yet, whether on paper or not.

Well anyways the relationship started to become extremely toxic and we were fighting all the time about me �not seeing him as an equal� and �if I respected him, I should be confident letting him into my business as an owner� I wasn�t being a team player in the relationship etc. In his words.

I finally had enough so We broke up. I found out I was pregnant a few weeks later. When I told him He said to end it or to take him to court when the baby got here but to never contact him again and blocked me.

Well when I was 8 months along I guess he decided to unblock my number and call me. I ignored the call because I had already spent my entire pregnancy preparing to be a single mom and making arrangements to have my best friend move in with me and help with the baby. He got mad that I didn�t pick up his call and texted me saying � I don�t really care about our past disagreements but if you have any decency I ask that you name him (ex�s full name).� Idk how he knows it�s a boy if he has me blocked everywhere but i guess he could have used a friend account to look me up.

Well I blocked him and when I had my son I named him after MYSELF. For example if my name was Julianne, my son is Julian, or if my name was Brenda my son is named Brendan. (Fake names obviously but you get the idea)

Well he�s pissed and his whole family is now harassing me on social media and calling my business asking for me by name to cuss me out and because I am at home with the baby, my employees are being harassed.

I feel like I might be the rear end in a top hat here because I had several baby names picked out that I could have used instead of naming my baby after myself and causing all this drama.

My friend says I should change my baby�s name to something unrelated to both of us but I love his name.

Quick edit: I should have included this in original info but was worried about character limit. I WAS on birth control, and we used condoms, it failed but I�m not at all regretful that my baby is here. He was married and divorced and has two kids (both boys) from his previous relationship, neither are named after him.

# ? Nov 12, 2021 16:42

Peaceful Anarchy: Sep 18, 2005; sXe
I am the math man.

Biplane posted:

No no you don't understand honey, it's not sexist! I simply believe that as a woman, you are inferior to me!

The alternative he's presenting isn't actually better is the thing. "No, I'm not sexist, there are plenty of women better than me who would deserve to be at the head of the table. But not you; despite your positive qualities you are my inferior, it's just a fact that you are weak and stupid.

# ? Nov 12, 2021 16:47

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Dik Hz posted:

"Man lies to get laid" is hardly the giant leap you're making it out to be.

I don't like the trend of calling others broke-brains for disagreeing over intentionally vague made-up stories on the internet. Can we please stop that?

Sorry about your broke brain op

# ? Nov 12, 2021 16:48

Pope Hilarius II: Nov 10, 2008

From a few pages back, but -

Fruits of the sea posted:

A lot of North Americans don't even know that the Roma ethnicity is a thing so its understandable, but ignorant. The flipside of that is that racism against Roma is really widespread in Europe, probably moreso even than anti-muslim sentiment. The irony is that Europeans are pretty bad at identifying Roma and tend to confuse random unlucky homeless people with them. They've been making this mistake for centuries. If you read about a "gypsy encampment" in a history book, there's a good chance it was just where the city's poorest lived.

I don't know, especially elderly Roma folks have a very distinct look that's hard to miss.

Maybe I've said it before in this thread since the topic of Roma people came up before, but it's odd to note that sedentary Roma use all the negative stereotypes Europeans associate with Romani for their cousins who are still nomadic. My gf is Roma-Romanian and when I told her about an ex-gf of mine whose great-grandmother was Roma-Hungarian, she acted really dismissively, like "Oh those were probably travelers. You can't trust them, you know. They're thieves." I honestly didn't know how to respond.

# ? Nov 12, 2021 16:52

sullat: Jan 9, 2012

Biplane posted:

No no you don't understand honey, it's not sexist! I simply believe that as a woman, you are inferior to me!

Honey, I don't believe women are inferior to men, I just believe that you are inferior to me!

# ? Nov 12, 2021 17:09

Uncle ShortyB: Oct 18, 2013; "Do you think since your cat is dead I could

You know

Wear it?"

Halloween Jack posted:

AITA for naming my son after myself, after my ex demanded he be named after him? (self.AmItheAsshole)

Lmao this dude is a little bitch.

# ? Nov 12, 2021 17:15

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

poo poo, I just remembered: my cum, my name! Better unblock what's-her-name and set things right

# ? Nov 12, 2021 17:18

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

sullat posted:

Honey, I don't believe women are inferior to men, I just believe that you are inferior to me!

Really, I don't believe you're inferior to me, we're just forced by society to behave as though that's the case at all times, even when we're alone in our own home

# ? Nov 12, 2021 17:19

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

Halloween Jack posted:

AITA for not wanting to do thanksgiving dinner at my parents w/o my wife? (self.AmItheAsshole)

YTA. gently caress landlords. Do gently caress landlords.

# ? Nov 12, 2021 17:56

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

YTA. gently caress landlords. Do gently caress landlords.

What kind of dumb-gently caress take is this?

quote:

She got evicted less than 4 months after moving in because my sister did not pay her rent at all. Then she was taken to court for damages that costed way more than she put down on the security deposit.

Sister didn't pay any rent and wrecked the place, regardless of how bad landlords are, sister is 100% in the wrong here

# ? Nov 12, 2021 18:01

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

Kenshin posted:

What kind of dumb-gently caress take is this?

Sister didn't pay any rent and wrecked the place, regardless of how bad landlords are, sister is 100% in the wrong here

See clause 1 and also clause 2.

Edit: Wife can come if she divests herself of her rental portfolio.

Child is suspect.

Chef Boyardeez Nuts fucked around with this message at 18:11 on Nov 12, 2021

# ? Nov 12, 2021 18:03

1stGear: Jan 16, 2010; Here's to the new us.

Uncle ShortyB posted:

Lmao this dude is a little bitch.

It's sounds like she's financially stable enough that she can just cut this dude out and not have to deal with him ever again. But at the same time, I hope she posts an update of this dude's spectacular meltdown when she goes for child support.

# ? Nov 12, 2021 18:31

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

Edit: Wife can come if she divests herself of her rental portfolio.

I'm all for exterminating the landlord class, but this woman just rented an empty room in her house.

# ? Nov 12, 2021 18:34

8one6: May 20, 2012; When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!

Right. Wife rented an empty room in her house to sister, sister paid no rent and trashed the place badly enough that it was worth taking her to court over, wife actually kept sisters stuff around to be picked up by OP instead of dumpstering it.

Going by the story Sister is the one who's been hostile to OP and his kid. He's being told he can't even bring his kid to Thanksgiving. "rarrgh death to landlords" all you want but sister is clearly a piece of poo poo.

# ? Nov 12, 2021 18:51

Admiralty Flag: Jun 7, 2007; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for telling my fiancee I am not willing to lie about how we met to her family and friends?

So I started to sympathize with the fianc�e in this story...I met my wife online over 15 years ago, we lived two miles away from each other, it was in the dark ages of online dating (Yahoo! Personals, back when that was a thing), and I was a bit embarrassed by the whole thing. I asked her if we could say we met at the Borders* that was between our houses. She goodnaturedly/exhasperatedly agreed, and that was the story I told until we got married.

However, I did not ask her to propagate any other outlandish stories. The fact that such a wonderful person would date a troglodyte like me was outlandish enough already.

* oh hell, do I need to explain to younger goons what Borders was? It was a bookstore like Barnes and Noble...oh poo poo, I guess that doesn't work any more either

# ? Nov 12, 2021 19:14

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

8one6 posted:

"rarrgh death to landlords" all you want but sister is clearly a piece of poo poo.

Hm, this reads like somethink a kulak would say, comrade

# ? Nov 12, 2021 19:19

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Yeah, there�s a pretty big difference between someone renting out a room in their house to help pay the bills, and someone hoarding multiple properties they�ll never live in solely to extract wealth from the working class

# ? Nov 12, 2021 19:25

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

8one6 posted:

Right. Wife rented an empty room in her house to sister, sister paid no rent and trashed the place badly enough that it was worth taking her to court over, wife actually kept sisters stuff around to be picked up by OP instead of dumpstering it.

Going by the story Sister is the one who's been hostile to OP and his kid. He's being told he can't even bring his kid to Thanksgiving. "rarrgh death to landlords" all you want but sister is clearly a piece of poo poo.

"I want all my family there at Thanksgiving! ... no, not those ones!"

# ? Nov 12, 2021 19:26

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Guy with landlord wife should show up with his wife and child in tow. Then ask his sister what the big deal is.

# ? Nov 12, 2021 19:43

elise the great: May 1, 2012; You do not have to be good. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

Renter =/= landlord. Dividing up unused living space in your home to create financially stable and mutually beneficial multi-family housing is a good thing and leftists under capitalism should absolutely be doing this. People who abuse community-based housing solutions should be penalized severely.

Landlords consider �their property� an investment with guaranteed growth and are big time buttmad when it doesn�t pay mad dividends. Rather than turning unused space into housing, they parasitize and block individual access to existing housing. They specifically profit from minimizing their tenants� quality of shelter and they are in the business for profit. gently caress them metaphorically, not literally.

# ? Nov 12, 2021 20:29

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

tenants are just landlord enablers, if anything they're even worse for keeping the system going

AITA for kicking my sister out to the streets because she cannot take my "f***ing violin" playing?

quote:

I am(30f) a musician, playing gigs and at an orchestra as a violinist. Rehearsals just resumed so orchestra is my main source of income atm.

My sister(26f) is a social worker, working 3days a week so minimal income but she adores her job.

I live in a small 2 bedroom apartment (both rooms around 9-10sqr meters), using the second room as a practice room/storage for my instruments (3violins, 2 guitars, a digital piano, a small drum kit), and other stuff.

4 months ago my sister broke up with her bf and I offered her my spare room, temporarily. I moved most of my stuff to the living room so I could fit a small bed in there. Sis moved in, but she asked me to move more stuff to the living room. I moved pretty much everything sans the piano, to the point where the living room became uninhabitable.

Then she started complaining about my violin playing, saying it gave her headaches. I told her I couldn't stop the daily practice without risking my only steady income. The arguments got worse. She told me to play only when she wasn't home, but with her work schedule I couldn't afford that. I tried switching to the electric violin, but even that can be pretty loud so it didn't help.

Several times I reminded her this was only a temporary arragement, but she didn't seem to hear me.

Two weeks ago I arrived home to finding my piano in the bathroom (near water and humidity!), because my sis needed the space for her new double bed. When I told her she can't srsly expect me to store my piano there, she said "yeah, you will just have to sell it I guess". I got so mad I told her she has 7 days to leave, but she didn't take me seriously. For a week I only talked to her to remind her how much time she has left, but she always laughed it off, told me to "stop acting like a crazy person".

When the deadline came I boxed up all her stuff while she was at work, booked an rbnb bedsit close by and drove her stuff there. She was livid but couldn't do anything but take her new keys and stay there.

The following week she kept calling me with an increasingly apologetic tone, saying she shouldn't have moved my piano or bought a bed. She promised she would put more effort into finding a new place, and by the end of the week I considered most of our issues at least addressed, so I drove to help her move back.

But when I was carrying the first box down, she went "I do hope you will at least stop with the violin this time. I absolutely refuse to take more of that f***ing violin."

I dropped the box, wished her good luck and left.

Now, two days later: on one hand it feels like a huge overreaction to leave my own sister literally homeless because of an argument about the violin (i know she cannot afford to stay there), but on the other hand I have no plans to allow her back here, because I feel she would just continue crossing boundaries and never leave.

# ? Nov 12, 2021 20:35

Thundercloud: Mar 28, 2010; To boldly be eaten where no grot has been eaten before!

Literally chomping down on the hand that feeds, gnawing it down to the bone.

# ? Nov 12, 2021 20:37

A Moose: Oct 22, 2009

Dazerbeams posted:

Guy with landlord wife should show up with his wife and child in tow. Then ask his sister what the big deal is.

Definitely this, just respond to all the shrieking that's sure to follow with "its thanksgiving! Its a time to be thankful for what we have, like family, or a roof over our heads!"

# ? Nov 12, 2021 20:53

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Imagine telling a professional musician to stop practicing lmao

# ? Nov 12, 2021 20:55

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Yo Pavarotti I let the singing in the shower slide but drat bro you're killing me

# ? Nov 12, 2021 21:00

Dramatika: Aug 1, 2002; THE BANK IS OPEN

Change plans, volunteer to host thanksgiving, set up the table in the room the sister was evicted from

# ? Nov 12, 2021 21:06

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Brawnfire posted:

Yo Pavarotti I let the singing in the shower slide but drat bro you're killing me

Nobody wants to hear Pavarotti in the drippini.

# ? Nov 12, 2021 21:57

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

landlords who live full time in the only property they let do not get the guillotine, but it is still not the ideal way to provide housing. a better solution is for the property to be owned collectively by the tenants, with any given tenant gaining or losing a share of interest in the property at time of move in/move out

# ? Nov 12, 2021 22:33

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

DAD LOST MY IPOD posted:

landlords who live full time in the only property they let do not get the guillotine, but it is still not the ideal way to provide housing. a better solution is for the property to be owned collectively by the tenants, with any given tenant gaining or losing a share of interest in the property at time of move in/move out

Also a solution not remotely easily implementable with housing laws in the majority of Western countries (and I don't know about others) without paying lawyers to do a lot of strangeness.

# ? Nov 12, 2021 22:55

Flared Basic Bitch: Feb 22, 2005; Invading your personal space since 1968.

Dramatika posted:

Change plans, volunteer to host thanksgiving, set up the table in the room the sister was evicted from

Set up a card table in there, then make her sit at it alone.

# ? Nov 12, 2021 23:02

Dramatika: Aug 1, 2002; THE BANK IS OPEN

Flared Basic Bitch posted:

Set up a card table in there, then make her sit at it alone.

Only if you require a security deposit first though

# ? Nov 12, 2021 23:03

PancakeTransmission: May 27, 2007; You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust...; Plaster Town Cop

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for telling my fiancee I am not willing to lie about how we met to her family and friends?

quote:

Thank you very much. She said she wants her friends and family to think she is pretty and be jealous of her and that that's why I have to say she was so beautiful that I asked her out the second I saw her, and she says that I have to say I buy her a lot of expensive things so that her friends will envy her. I did ask her about leaving it out but she says if I don't make the speech talking about how I literally asked her to be my GF instead of giving her my coffee order, she will find a real man

Nah it's fine man, I can see a happy future for you both

# ? Nov 12, 2021 23:11

Eighties ZomCom: Sep 10, 2008

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

YTA. gently caress landlords. Do gently caress landlords.

That's literally what the OP did.

# ? Nov 12, 2021 23:15

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

DAD LOST MY IPOD posted:

property to be owned collectively by the tenants, with any given tenant gaining or losing a share of interest in the property at time of move in/move out

Yeah, this is a great idea if you want to make people who can't come up with 5+ figures all at once or a loan for it homeless.

# ? Nov 12, 2021 23:22

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Kenshin posted:

Also a solution not remotely easily implementable with housing laws in the majority of Western countries (and I don't know about others) without paying lawyers to do a lot of strangeness.

you could put the property in a trust and add/remove trustees on the fly with like a weekend's worth of research, but this still requires either one real owner with the power to unilaterally boot trustees or total good faith from all participants forever to not instantly become the dictatorship of whoever's most willing to eject the whole collective out on the streets in order to get their way

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 23:36 on Nov 12, 2021

# ? Nov 12, 2021 23:25