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Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Mr. Lobe posted:

Sexual incompatibility is a reasonable cause to end a relationship, but the husband is an qsshole for leading with getting prostitutes rather than just facing those facts
Given that she swore off anal sex "after a particularly painful incident," I'm guessing he's going about it in the dumbest way possible. Probably in ways that professionals won't be willing to accommodate.

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PetraCore
Jul 20, 2017

👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Halloween Jack posted:

Given that she swore off anal sex "after a particularly painful incident," I'm guessing he's going about it in the dumbest way possible. Probably in ways that professionals won't be willing to accommodate.
Yeah, especially because he's now trying to pressure her into restarting a sex act she's no longer comfortable with or else he'll cheat and if she complains about it he'll withhold shared finances from her. Like, if he's acting abusively now it doesn't make me extend much good faith to him. He's treating her like a dispensary for his favorite sex act that's malfunctioned and not a person he supposedly loves.

Gnoman
Feb 12, 2014

Come, all you fair and tender maids
Who flourish in your pri-ime
Beware, take care, keep your garden fair
Let Gnoman steal your thy-y-me
Le-et Gnoman steal your thyme




Reading between the lines, this seems like a case of porn poisoning.

hawowanlawow
Jul 27, 2009

my love language is big enflamed gapes

Boba Pearl
Dec 27, 2019

by Athanatos

Boba Pearl posted:

AITA for wanting to bring my favorite wine to dinner?

It seemed like you guys made up amicably why would you would be the rear end in a top hat

quote:

She hasn't talked to me since then, and she brought it up during marriage counseling

Did anything else happen that night?

quote:

We had a fight in the cab

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for not having sympathy for my wife when my in laws found out my parents are still married?
I'm baffled by the whole thing. If your husband is willing to stand up to his awful family and go no-contact with them for both your sakes, why do you need to cap it off by telling everyone some elaborate lie? I'm still not sure I understand what happened here.

Gnoman posted:

Reading between the lines, this seems like a case of porn poisoning.
WIBTA if I ask my wife to get a tattoo that reads "Butt Slut" while setting the world record for biggest gangbang?

Boba Pearl
Dec 27, 2019

by Athanatos
Why were you fighting in the cab

quote:

Her cousin lives on a famous street in new york where lots of plays are held, and we had been stuck in 12 minutes in traffic, she wanted the cab driver to go around the traffic, but I thought we should stay on, and we ended up bickering so much that eventually she just said lets walk

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

quote:

Her cousin lives on a famous street in new york where lots of plays are held,
WHY WOULD YOU NOT JUST SAY IT

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
Lol at trying to drive around the heart of manhattan and getting surprised and angry that traffic sucks

hawowanlawow
Jul 27, 2009

Halloween Jack posted:

WHY WOULD YOU NOT JUST SAY IT

same reason he didn't mention the cab fight in the first place: he's a pathological liar who has a compulsion to withhold information

therattle
Jul 24, 2007
Soiled Meat

Halloween Jack posted:



WIBTA if I ask my wife to get a tattoo that reads "Butt Slut" while setting the world record for biggest gangbang?

Hey! How dare you copy my wife's gimmick!

therattle fucked around with this message at 19:23 on Nov 15, 2021

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

PancakeTransmission posted:

What happens if an American spends Thanksgiving alone? Do they die?

Typically the Poop Fairy visits Thursday night; if it realizes that you didn't stuff yourself gluttonously in the company of others, it inflicts constipation on you for three days. If you did celebrate thanksgiving, you are blessed with soft, smooth, effortless poo poo for a week

Boba Pearl
Dec 27, 2019

by Athanatos

Boba Pearl posted:

Why were you fighting in the cab

Did anything else happen?

quote:

It started raining and she broke the heel on her shoe, but I love the rain and told her how pretty she looked in it, but she just stormed off.

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

kalel posted:

Absolutely incredible thread title

Agreement here

Bonster
Mar 3, 2007

Keep rolling, rolling
AITA for pointing out an allergy to a worker

quote:

Last night my fiancé and I went to wawa (a convenient store that makes sandwiches and smoothies fresh). I was craving a strawberry freeze and my fiancé always gets a strawberry banana. To avoid any possible mix up, I always get mine with whipped cream. The reason for this is I am allergic to bananas. I’ll need my epipen and I’m all the years I’ve been dealing with multiple food allergies, I’ve only needed to use one maybe 2 or 3 times.

We place our order and the guy puts them on the counter for us. I grab the whipped cream one and just take a tiny sip. The color looked off (I figured maybe he added a little too much strawberry mix) and I tasted banana. Right away I told my fiancé and went over to call the guy over.

I told him “hey, so you know, when you make the smoothies, you really should be more mindful as far as making sure there’s no cross contamination or what specific instructions are followed. I’m incredibly allergic to bananas. I get whipped cream on my smoothie to be able to tell mine from my fiancés. Luckily I always keep an epipen on me and he knows how to use it. Not everyone is that lucky. This could have turned out much differently. I’m not bitching, just trying to educate you.”

The guy burst into tears saying how that has never happened to him before and begging me not to tell his manager. That something like that will get him fired. I told him to consider this a learn experience and just do better.

When we get in the car, I took a Benadryl and my fiancé told me I was an rear end in a top hat for making the guy cry. That because I didn’t have a massive reaction, there was no need to say anything.

AITA for trying to educate the guy and let him know to just be more mindful?

info I should add : there’s no way to add in the order when I’m placing it that there’s a food allergy. When ordering, it’s all done via touch screen and there’s no way to put “special instructions”

edit #2 :: someone just informed me (10:57p) that apparently there is a spot to put special instructions on the touch screen. I’ll have to look for that now when I go next time to my usual wawa

I think this (probably non-existent) person is really stupid. Fun game - guess the many reasons why!

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

PancakeTransmission posted:

What happens if an American spends Thanksgiving alone? Do they die?

thanksgiving krampus infects your blankets with smallpox

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Bonster posted:

AITA for pointing out an allergy to a worker

I think this (probably non-existent) person is really stupid. Fun game - guess the many reasons why!
Not that long ago we had this exact same story with a diabetic who can't drink anything but Coke Zero for reasons and so risks death every time they eat fast food.

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

Boba Pearl posted:

It seemed like you guys made up amicably why would you would be the rear end in a top hat

Did anything else happen that night?

quote:
We had a fight in the cab



Thought this was a weird wine pun at first. "We fought in the cab, but made up in the pinot"

The Moon Monster
Dec 30, 2005

Hughlander posted:

My husband [M31] wants to see prostitutes because I [F27] won't perform a certain sex act he likes.


Gives new meaning to "am I the rear end in a top hat" (or would have if she had posted it to Am I the rear end in a top hat)

nashona
May 8, 2014

Though she be but little, she is fierce


hawowanlawow posted:

I found a new contender for biggest doormat. Prepare to be bored and frustrated

Recently married. My SIL took my photographer at my reception for an hour and had him do HER ENGAGEMENT PICS!!

Update:

I hope she also got money back from the photographer. They should have had a list of things to take pictures of and of course should have actually asked her about any changes to that schedule

Biplane
Jul 18, 2005

kalel posted:

Absolutely incredible thread title

Hard agree

AngryRobotsInc
Aug 2, 2011

Halloween Jack posted:

Not that long ago we had this exact same story with a diabetic who can't drink anything but Coke Zero for reasons and so risks death every time they eat fast food.

It was treatment resistant epilepsy controlled by a keto diet, if it's the same story I'm thinking of.

Basically I (dealing with multiple food allergies and intolerances in my household) come down on the side that mistakes happen and that is the risk you take if you are on a specific diet for medical reasons but still choose to get food out. Cross contamination is also widespread. However employees do need to be diligent (still with that understanding that mistakes will happen) and not just assume any special order is just because.

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

AngryRobotsInc posted:

However employees do need to be diligent (still with that understanding that mistakes will happen) and not just assume any special order is just because.

While this is true if you have an allergy that could kill you, you should also be diligent in letting them know about your allergy and not just yolo it and hope for the best.

Bonster
Mar 3, 2007

Keep rolling, rolling

MarcusSA posted:

While this is true if you have an allergy that could kill you, you should also be diligent in letting them know about your allergy and not just yolo it and hope for the best.

She didn't even tell them it's an allergy. She just said "touch screen, wkyd?"

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!
In this particular situation it seems ridiculous for the spouse to not just order chocolate banana instead of strawberry banana.

I don't feel like I should tell any disabled person how to deal with their disability, but if my own ability to remain alive and ambulatory depended on dietary restrictions, I probably wouldn't trust it to some guy whose job is to serve as a heatsink for all of society's unaccounted rage

AngryRobotsInc
Aug 2, 2011

MarcusSA posted:

While this is true if you have an allergy that could kill you, you should also be diligent in letting them know about your allergy and not just yolo it and hope for the best.

Unfortunately, while you absolutely should inform the staff, it sometimes isn't going to help due to dipshits lying about allergies because "The internet told me gluten is bad" sounds idiotic, leading to corners being cut because "Eh, they're probably lying". The Big 8 usually still get the proper precautions, but hoo boy, do you sound like one of those assholes if you have any remotely rare allergy (my kid is allergic to spinach, for instance).

AKA Pseudonym
May 16, 2004

A dashing and sophisticated young man
Doctor Rope

Boba Pearl posted:

AITA for wanting to bring my favorite wine to dinner?

In and of itself it's not a big deal I guess. But if you're at a three star restaurant it might be the time to stretch your wings a bit and try something other than the *Popular Canadian Red Wine* you drink all the god drat time. Even without the updates I could see that fitting into and being emblematic of an overall pattern of clueless tedious behavior.

AKA Pseudonym fucked around with this message at 20:45 on Nov 15, 2021

Uncle ShortyB
Oct 18, 2013

"Do you think since your cat is dead I could

You know

Wear it?"

Buzzman posted:

"Hey guys, how do I ask if this business partner who lives with me, spends all her time with me and is carrying my child is into me? Reddit help!!!!"

Somehow one of the densest motherfuckers alive. But in a wholesome way. :unsmith:

This is just too god drat cute I love it.

Anyway, talking about PII and poo poo like that at my job has me thinking a certain type of way so make way for some content!!!

AITA for not giving my sister our mortgage paperwork?

quote:

My (31F) sister (27F) has been working on setting up a notary business since February of this year. It's mid November, she still does not have her notary business off the ground. The only requirements to becoming a notary are getting her commission, purchasing a printer and setting up a Google business page. She's had her commission since May of this year - it took her a bit longer than usual to get it because she didn't fill out the appropriate paperwork and had to refile. She has been extremely unmotivated in getting her business established.

I received a text from her yesterday asking if she could borrow our Mortgage agreement, so that she could "practice notarizing mortgage documents". I told her that she could come over and take a look at the mortgage documents, but that my husband and I didn't feel comfortable with the mortgage information leaving the house because it has all of our personal information on it like our SSN and sensitive information - plus, it's our only copy.

She also recently went to a big concert and because we have a newborn, I told her she would need to review it outside because I didn't want her to possibly pass something she may have picked up at the concert to our little baby (RSV is running rampant in our area this time of year and we don't want to take unnecessary risks). We live in an area where it's really nice in the winter - no snow and 70-80 degree weather - so, it's not like she would be uncomfortable sitting outside.

This caused her to absolutely lose it on me and start with guilt tripping me, berating and insulting me saying things like (copied from actual texts):

Well, thanks for all your help - that was sarcasm

I literally don't understand why you're such a control freak, but here we are

I'm trying to get my business off the ground and you won't do the bare minimum to help me

You won't even let me in your house. You treat your dog better.

I don't need your loving help

If you ever need a babysitter call someone else. I will be unavailable until I loving die.

Once again looks like you dont know what the gently caress you're talking about as per usual. (This was me being concerned about RSV and she had sent me a link about how covid isn't deadly to babies, which is not what I was concerned about)

Ps wonder if you bothered to require the whooping cough vaccine for every person who has/will hold your baby. (I did)

It's funny that you think direct contact is how that spreads. It's almost like it's your husband has the PhD and not you 😏 (I don't even know why she brought this up)

Anyway, I think I may be TA because I'm not letting her take our mortgage for her to review on her own time. My other sister also wrote me a lengthy text saying that she can't believe I am being so difficult.

So AITA here?

So! Some choice comments from the OP here about her sister's "situation".

quote:

I tried giving her advice on this back in January of this year prior to her quitting her Pharmacy Tech job that she had. She had watched a YT video of some guy claiming that he made a six figure salary with his notary business and since then she has purchased his book and his classes that he charges upwards of $500 for. How she doesn't realize she is being scammed/at least being heavily deceived is beyond me.

quote:

... She has been belligerently drunk and gotten in a car and driven multiple times. When I bring up my concerns to anyone in my family they just turn their head and say, "she has a lot on her plate" or "she's going through a lot.

She gets in literal fist fights with people. She punched our mother in the face and gave her a black eye and she punched our younger sister in the face (who she currently lives with).

Yet she has guilt tripped my mom into buying her things "to make her feel better". She just recently guilt tripped our mother into buying her an $800 printer that she needed for her notary business that she couldn't afford because she refused to get an actual job.

And my personal favorite,

quote:

Oh, I most certainly will. She sleeps all day because she's currently working as an exotic dancer when she sees fit, so her time clock is all out of whack.

Bolding, of course, mine, and I'm not trying to start some puritanical debate about that type of thing since one of my "aunts" (not blood) worked as an exotic dancer to put herself through nursing school, where she met my mom, and she absolutely kicks rear end and just barely lost to my mom in their weird little grades rivalry they had going on. This girl very much seems like she's trying to get up to some fuckshit with her sister's mortgage paperwork.

Red Oktober
May 24, 2006

wiggly eyes!



Boba Pearl posted:

AITA for wanting to bring my favorite wine to dinner?

This one is a bit, based on the song 'Fine' from Ordinary Days.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lV3CyM17g_8

quote:

The wine
The wine!
We were shopping for a bottle to bring to her cousin's soiree
My cousin's a sou chef, she's very gourmet
I grabbed my favorite cabernet
He's got no clue and so I say
Darling, the wine
The wine?
The wine!
They're serving monkfish, so darling the wine can't be red
How 'bout this Austrian Riesling instead?
Honey, you know I don't like the Riesling
When have you ever seen me drink Riesling?
Never but can't you listen this once
Red wine and fish, you'll look like a dunce
Fine!
I'll bring the red, you bring the white
That way I'll still get drunk, you'll still be right

Later in the song they go on to have a fight in a delayed cab, and she breaks her shoe. The cousin lives on Broadway, of course.

Red Oktober fucked around with this message at 20:36 on Nov 15, 2021

Quackles
Aug 11, 2018

Pixels of Light.


wizardofloneliness posted:

...and then being upset that only his menu included prices and she got the lady version of the menu without them.

That's a thing? :stare:

Kenshin
Jan 10, 2007

Quackles posted:

That's a thing? :stare:
oh god let's not start this again

In Europe This Is Very Normal

Variable 5
Apr 17, 2007
We do these things not because they are easy, but because we thought they would be easy.
Grimey Drawer

Uncle ShortyB posted:

AITA for not giving my sister our mortgage paperwork?

As a notary who only got the license or whatever for the rare event that both of the other notaries at my office are both out, just :lol: at making 6 figures a year off notarization. I'd bet that literally everyone in the country knows at least half a dozen notaries and doesn't even realize it. I notarize for my friends for free because, again, :lol: at charging two bucks to stamp a thing and write your name in my book.

limp_cheese
Sep 10, 2007


Nothing to see here. Move along.

Boba Pearl posted:

AITA for wanting to bring my favorite wine to dinner?

The only time its ok to make this big of a deal about red wine is if its called Rain Duck.

Even then only if it comes in the Nebuchadnezzar bottle.

packetmantis
Feb 26, 2013
Aren't there notaries in every Kinko's and post office? How is a "notary business" even a thing?

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

limp_cheese posted:

The only time its ok to make this big of a deal about red wine is if its called Rain Duck.

Ohhhohoho. You bitch. You did it. Stupid, stupid bitch doesn’t even know. She is gonna get the best bottle of wine of her stupid bitch life. Ohhhohoho, she doesn’t even know.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

packetmantis posted:

Aren't there notaries in every Kinko's and post office?

No?

AngryRobotsInc
Aug 2, 2011

packetmantis posted:

Aren't there notaries in every Kinko's and post office? How is a "notary business" even a thing?

Most post offices, FedEx, and UPS stores. Many banks, public libraries, or government offices (like city hall). Several organizations a person may or may not belong to (the military, universities, AAA, etc.). And in an absolute pinch, checking with an insurance agency or a police office. All places you can often find a free or cheap notary.

Variable 5
Apr 17, 2007
We do these things not because they are easy, but because we thought they would be easy.
Grimey Drawer

AngryRobotsInc posted:

Most post offices, FedEx, and UPS stores. Many banks, public libraries, or government offices (like city hall). Several organizations a person may or may not belong to (the military, universities, AAA, etc.). And in an absolute pinch, checking with an insurance agency or a police office. All places you can often find a free or cheap notary.

Law firms, title offices, realtors, car dealers. Any business that has to deal with contracts will probably have at least one on staff. And the pricing is usually regulated by law.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

AKA Pseudonym posted:

In and of itself it's not a big deal I guess. But if you're at a three star restaurant it might be the time to stretch your wings a bit and try something other than the *Popular Canadian Red Wine* you drink all the god drat time. Even without the updates I could see that fitting into and being emblematic of an overall pattern of clueless tedious behavior.

Isn't this the whole point of like a $50 "corking" fee?

Let trash taste havers enjoy their trash wine and just collect free money off them.

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cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
$2,000 for anal is a perfectly normal budget. Hell, on the retirement planning packets I give to clients it's even listed as a monthly expense. Along with questions like, "Do you believe your anal expenditures will increase, decrease, or hold even post-retirement?"

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