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Plank Walker posted:bed bath and beyond is pretty nice for kitchen stuff, pots/pans/silverware. less bougie than a crate n barrel or williams sonoma they have a ton of the same products as williams & sonoma only w&s tacks on an extra 25% i know this cause i had a gift card and bought a cast iron pan there for $50 and then a couple weeks later saw the exact same one at bb&b for $30
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Dec 1, 2021 17:41
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"There's a santa shortage [so you better order your santa now]" says www dot hire santa dot com, a definitely unbiased source. Though I do appreciate that they offer alternatives: quote:Family and friends from different locations can video chat live with Santa! It’s a magical experience children will remember forever. Starting from $49 You can outsource your santa to some sad santa in a call center in india for only $49
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Dec 1, 2021 17:49
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Plank Walker posted:bed bath and beyond is pretty nice for kitchen stuff, pots/pans/silverware. less bougie than a crate n barrel or williams sonoma If you live near a city, there's more than likely a restaurant supply store where you can get nice pots, pans, and silverware way cheaper. Pro tip. I predict some rear end in a top hat will come up with some sort of santa nft/coin where you mint your wishlist to santa on the blockchain but you have to use santacoin and it costs you hundreds of dollars somehow and melts the north pole. poemdexter has issued a correction as of 18:01 on Dec 1, 2021 |
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Dec 1, 2021 17:55
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quote:HireSanta.com is the industry’s leading provider of real bearded, back ground checked, and insured Santa Claus entertainers. HireSanta works with the very best Santa Claus entertainers around the world. Please fill out the form on this page and we will find the perfect Santa Claus entertainer for your event, promotion, or home visit. From a home visit to TV Commercials to Movies and print advertisements, HireSanta.com has a real bearded Santa Claus that is sure to WOW! They focus a hell of a lot on the 100% REAL ALL NATURAL SANTA BEARDS, I guess I understand why but it still comes off as incredibly creepy. Though I do one day aspire to be Truly a Merry and Beautiful Santa Claus.
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Dec 1, 2021 17:58
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You think you're cool, I have LUNCHABLES UPLOADED *is expelled after screaming "XTREME LUNCH SURRRGE" at the top of my lungs while cramming my walking pizza into a Zip drive in the computer lab*
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Dec 1, 2021 18:01
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Shame Boy posted:They focus a hell of a lot on the 100% REAL ALL NATURAL SANTA BEARDS, I guess I understand why but it still comes off as incredibly creepy. I have a big, full beard but I'm not going to work to propagate the myths of capitalism to its' youngest victims by donning a fat suit and letting kids piss on my leg all day for mall perks and peanut pay. And I'm not cutting my hair because santa has discovered rogaine. I would totally dress up as Santa for a weed dispensary, if the suit was green and I could smoke the whole time. "What do you want? An eighth? I think Santa can accommodate that, here's a free eighth with half ounce purchase coupon."
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Dec 1, 2021 18:08
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the Santa shortage is not being helped by Turkish nationalists and fundamentalists  
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Dec 1, 2021 18:16
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panic hiring 45 Santas and forcing them to live in my storage unit
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Dec 1, 2021 18:22
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send in the national guard to take over the santa jobs
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Dec 1, 2021 18:25
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Dustcat posted:send in the national guard to take over the santa jobs They have regulations against things like beards and bellies. Though the national guard is where you would find the fattest troops, so get some glue and hair on those faces and you might be on to something.
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Dec 1, 2021 18:30
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wow weird that old guys don't want to play dress up and have unvaccinated children crawling all over them in public during a pandemic
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Dec 1, 2021 18:45
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CRUSTY MINGE posted:I have a big, full beard but I'm not going to work to propagate the myths of capitalism to its' youngest victims by donning a fat suit and letting kids piss on my leg all day for mall perks and peanut pay. 
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Dec 1, 2021 18:53
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lol good scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saMy_JY3I7M
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Dec 1, 2021 18:55
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mawarannahr posted:the Santa shortage is not being helped by Turkish nationalists and fundamentalists But... Santa was a notable Turk
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Dec 1, 2021 19:01
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Jazerus posted:wow weird that old guys don't want to play dress up and have unvaccinated children crawling all over them in public during a pandemic Yeah, poor work ethic
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Dec 1, 2021 19:04
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mawarannahr posted:the Santa shortage is not being helped by Turkish nationalists and fundamentalists I always figured that Turkish Nationalists were also pretty Anti-Islam as well. Don't the grey wolves ascribe to some kind of Neo-Tengriism? Ironically the real St Nicholas was from Anatolia.
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Dec 1, 2021 19:11
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CRUSTY MINGE posted:I have a big, full beard but I'm not going to work to propagate the myths of capitalism to its' youngest victims by donning a fat suit and letting kids piss on my leg all day for mall perks and peanut pay. I don't know, you're really selling me on the CSPAM Poster Mall Santa idea now. "Hey kid, you know who else had a big bushy beard and believed in the equitable distribution of goods to everyone?"
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Dec 1, 2021 19:22
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drat what could have happened in the last year or two that resulted in 10% less old men
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Dec 1, 2021 19:37
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CRUSTY MINGE posted:Enlisted are idiots, never underestimate that fact alone. Junior enlisted are mostly 17-22 year old kids with all the good and bad that entails. Idiots but then so are all the other kids that age. It’s really hard to know. I can’t speak for the modern GI Bill but when I enlisted in the Army back in 2001 (pre-911) you had to elect to have $100 deducted from your pay each month for the first year and there were kids who didn’t see themselves ever going to college who made that decision based on 19 year old kid logic in a time and place where $100 a month was a lot of money. Also, it’s easier than your presenting to get an “other - under honorable conditions” discharge which (at least at the time, again, it’s been a long time) kept most benefits but lost the GI Bill. Positive UA would do it (I got out on a positive UA so I know this for a fact. Best thing that ever happened to me as it kept me from doing a second deployment to Iraq and nobody outside the military even cares)
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Dec 1, 2021 19:38
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Things have changed a lot since the peacetime Clinton army, then, and probably a lot more since I got out in '06. You've got to remember that the military was taking all comers at one point under Bush, and standards kinda poo poo the bed for a while. The Montgomery GI Bill you're talking about, I turned down for SLRP to pay off student loans from a trade school. Once post-9/11 kicked in, no one needed to contribute to their GI Bill, everyone who served within the window qualified already, and the Montgomery program died off. If you had contributed, you could fill out a form and request your money back, without interest of course, then ride post-9/11. As far as discharges, if you managed to avoid collecting articles, it was easy enough to get an honorable. I knew people who failed UAs but got honorables (mostly people who deployed). There was a kid in my last unit that made his high school transcript in photoshop, got called out on it, had to take the GED, was caught with a pistol in his trunk and a few atropine auto-injectors, still got out on an honorable after riding his contract. The unit dumped resources into that kid to straighten him out, because they needed every idiot body to throw at deployments. The standards did tighten back down in recent years, but there's a decade there where it was more difficult to get a lovely discharge because of the amount of paperwork involved and the mass of asses coming and going. I had a mild weed habit my last year in, but knowing the right people in headquarters company can get you advanced knowledge of piss tests, so a case of beer for the secret squirrel and there was plenty of time to take a detox drink with a gallon of water to pass. The threshold for weed was 50ng/mcl. Dilution was the solution to the pollution. Never failed a test thanks to secret squirrel and detox drinks from the headshop off post. CRUSTY MINGE has issued a correction as of 20:08 on Dec 1, 2021 |
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Dec 1, 2021 20:02
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CRUSTY MINGE posted:Things have changed a lot since the peacetime Clinton army, then, and probably a lot more since I got out in '06. You've got to remember that the military was taking all comers at one point under Bush, and standards kinda poo poo the bed for a while. The Montgomery GI Bill you're talking about, I turned down for SLRP to pay off student loans from a trade school. Once post-9/11 kicked in, no one needed to contribute to their GI Bill, everyone who served within the window qualified already, and the Montgomery program died off. If you had contributed, you could fill out a form and request your money back, without interest of course, then ride post-9/11. Yeah. It’s obviously time and place specific. I joined in June 2001 and had a hot UA shortly after returning from Iraq in September 2003, was discharged in February 2004. In the lead up to our deployment they had been keeping people in even with a hot UA but once we got back they dropped to a zero tolerance rule. But that was probably division or maybe even brigade specific. I wasn’t exactly in a position to know details and I was ready to get out anyway after going through the invasion so I didn’t exactly fight the discharge. Regardless, beyond losing GI Bill it didn’t detrimentally impact my life beyond my pile of student loans and the rest of my unit all got stop lossed like six months later and went back for a year long deployment so I’ve always kind of felt like doing a bunch of coke on a Sunday night was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
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Dec 1, 2021 20:15
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Yeah, it was more like 2005 when things got crazy. You could probably have your discharge upgraded now, which would open doors to more benefits, but it's a review process and can take a while. Swing on into the Internet VFW and someone might know the process off-hand. I did Iraq in '04-05, once was enough for me too.
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Dec 1, 2021 20:19
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Shame Boy posted:I don't know, you're really selling me on the CSPAM Poster Mall Santa idea now. 
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Dec 1, 2021 20:46
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Hehehehe upgraded discharge.
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Dec 1, 2021 20:48
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I just gotta say lunchables loving rocked, especially if you heated them up. like you can eat them cold but if it’s Saturday and mom says go make a lunchable for lunch and you aren’t putting your mini pizzas or tacos in the microwave for 30 seconds you’re only cheating yourself.
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Dec 1, 2021 20:55
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guess we know what the national guard is going to be doing for the rest of the year
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Dec 1, 2021 21:29
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CRUSTY MINGE posted:As far as discharges, if you managed to avoid collecting articles, it was easy enough to get an honorable. I knew people who failed UAs but got honorables (mostly people who deployed). There was a kid in my last unit that made his high school transcript in photoshop, got called out on it, had to take the GED, was caught with a pistol in his trunk and a few atropine auto-injectors, still got out on an honorable after riding his contract. What were they worried he was gonna do with the atropine autoinjectors, not die of anaphylactic shock? e: Wait I got it mixed up with that other one, atropine autoinjectors are the thing nic cage shot into his heart in The Rock not the thing that keeps a bee from killing you Shame Boy has issued a correction as of 21:39 on Dec 1, 2021 |
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Dec 1, 2021 21:37
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Shame Boy posted:They focus a hell of a lot on the 100% REAL ALL NATURAL SANTA BEARDS, I guess I understand why but it still comes off as incredibly creepy. Beards are serious business. My mom still tells the story of how indignant 4 yo me was after visiting a mall santa with an obviously fake beard.
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Dec 1, 2021 21:41
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Shame Boy posted:What were they worried he was gonna do with the atropine autoinjectors, not die of anaphylactic shock? Atropine (in the military) is for exposure to chemical weapons. It also gives you one gently caress of a high/rush. I don't know that he used them, they were found when he was searched at the gate to Fort Campbell, in the trunk of his lovely decade old cadillac, right next to a pistol he wasn't legally able to possess because he was still 20 at the time. I got out of the army around the same time all that was being found, but I kept in touch with people in the unit on facebook or myspace after. What I'd heard was he straightened out after all that happened, and eventually he got an honorable discharge, but he cut grass with scissors and shoveled snow with spoons at battalion for months in between. Our battalion CO was pretty flexible for second chances.
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Dec 1, 2021 21:50
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thats because atropine is just like super adrenaline and the auto injector has a second shot of something like 2-pan-chloride which causes your nervous system to shut down hopefully preventing the nerve agent from killing you
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Dec 1, 2021 21:53
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Assuming they are telling the truth, I wonder what those hustle meisters are up to these days. Like I can see working crazy hours to obtain some tangible goal that makes your life cumulatively easier long term - the whole ant vs the grasshopper thing. For instance our pension is calculated based on the average of the highest paid 3 years of your career, so people plan ahead and work crazy overtime so that their pension is as high as possible. But that has a tangible cause and effect, and having a higher pension means you could theoretically retire a bit earlier so the extra work kind of averages out. Similarly, people saving up for a down payment of a house ending up in a much more stable financial situation ten years down the line vs running on a rent treadmill their whole career. But doing it for bragging rights? Why not just work a job that pays more so you're just as rich for less work? Sheesh!
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Dec 1, 2021 21:59
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A Bakers Cousin posted:thats because atropine is just like super adrenaline and the auto injector has a second shot of something like 2-pan-chloride which causes your nervous system to shut down hopefully preventing the nerve agent from killing you And yet, troops will steal it from supply if they think it will get them high. Like the stories of infantrymen that would eat little chunks of C4 in Vietnam. People will do anything to get high.
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Dec 1, 2021 22:03
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I wanna know what Turd Blossom had to say about the Santa shortage
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Dec 1, 2021 22:09
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Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:I wanna know what Turd Blossom had to say about the Santa shortage Near as I can tell, it was just an ad for a Santa hiring website. You can kinda see their website under "Santa Shortage".
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Dec 1, 2021 22:12
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comedyblissoption posted:lets release a genocidal virus into the wild surely nothing unintended could happen as a consequence this post didn't age well.
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Dec 1, 2021 22:36
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Meiers Goldbrick posted:this post didn't age well. Neither did you op
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Dec 1, 2021 22:58
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Meiers Goldbrick posted:this post didn't age well. As far as I can tell that three year old post is pointing out that releasing a mosquito genocide virus is a bad idea so I’m not entirely sure why that reasonable opinion is a gotcha? Please explain
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Dec 2, 2021 00:22
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SpacePig posted:Near as I can tell, it was just an ad for a Santa hiring website. You can kinda see their website under "Santa Shortage". I posted some fun stuff from their website up-thread, yeah.
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Dec 2, 2021 00:24
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HashtagGirlboss posted:As far as I can tell that three year old post is pointing out that releasing a mosquito genocide virus is a bad idea so I’m not entirely sure why that reasonable opinion is a gotcha? Please explain The thing that didn't age well are the hundreds of thousands of people who died from malaria in those 3 years, I assume
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Dec 2, 2021 00:24
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Shame Boy posted:The thing that didn't age well are the hundreds of thousands of people who died from malaria in those 3 years, I assume Ah. Perhaps. But mosquitoes fill an important ecological niche transferring energy from large mammals down to birds/frogs/fish/etc so it would probably be bad if they all died, beyond the massive possibility for unintended consequences releasing a genocide virus into the world
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Dec 2, 2021 00:27
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