Pleads posted:

Clearly it would be her fault for not adequately anticipating the actions and needs of the new patriarch of the clan.

A week-long 26-person holiday sounds like my personal hell.

MarcusSA posted:

The T-Pain song about this is pretty catchy

Variable 5 posted:

“Of course I’m hosting everyone. What did you expect? I’m the patriarch now!”

Baronjutter posted:

If she at all understood her role as the wife of the patriarch and wife of someone experiencing grief she should have planned for this already perhaps with catering lined up and some temporary portable housing rented. It's a shocking display of both insubordination and borderline emotional abuse of a grief-stricken victim. Absolutely the rear end in a top hat.

Cowslips Warren posted:

In a way, I almost feel bad for some dudes nowadays, because they hear about the golden age or they see it in mad Men of the 50s, and think yeah that's totally what I want to have. A wife who does whatever I tell her, kids who are quiet and only speak when I speak to them, a hot secretary or two on the side. An age where men were men and it was good to be a man.

Never does it occur to these gentlemen, and I use the term loosely, that they are nowhere near wealthy enough to pull any of that stuff off.

Cowslips Warren posted:

The patriarch also does not babysit his own children. Because that's what he has a wife for.

In a way, I almost feel bad for some dudes nowadays, because they hear about the golden age or they see it in mad Men of the 50s, and think yeah that's totally what I want to have. A wife who does whatever I tell her, kids who are quiet and only speak when I speak to them, a hot secretary or two on the side. An age where men were men and it was good to be a man.

Never does it occur to these gentlemen, and I use the term loosely, that they are nowhere near wealthy enough to pull any of that stuff off.

In the theme of Give Me Your Thing, I just had a friend of mine text me asking for pictures of my personal cats. I thought maybe he was going to get some kind of canvas made for me for the holidays, because that's what I did for him last year of his pets. No, he told me he was at a customer's house today, and they're super nice couple and wanted to adopt a cat, and he wanted to show them some. Not the cats I'm fostering, my personal cats. He doesn't understand why I'm rather pissed off at him right now.

Give me your spouse, kid, job, house, pet, organs...what else are we missing?

quote:

I recently got engageddddd (yaayyy!) The proposal was really intimate and sweet. I have always been very picky about rings. They're my absolute favourite type of jewellery so obviously i was sure on what kind of engagement ring I wanted even before I had a boyfriend. My fiance proposed with the exact ring that I wanted and I was so so so happy he respected my wishes. (This is going to be important later)

My SIL (F20) is my fiance (m26)'s younger sister. She is generally used to getting whatever she wants. She swung by our house a couple days later to congratulate us and obviously demanded to see the ring. No biggie. I showed it to her and she wanted to wear in on her finger. BIG MISTAKE I budged on that too. She took a few pics with my ring on her finger and gave it back.

This was last week. Yesterday, she called me up saying she's going to this really fancy party this Sunday and wants to wear my ring since it "doesn't really look like an engagement ring". I politely declined. She asked me a few times and when I refused she started shouting and calling me a bitch for not sharing a piece of jewellery that her brother paid for.

She told her mom too and my MIL texted me asking why I'm not giving her my ring. So, AITA?

Edit: I posted it by accident when it was half typed. I'm on my phone so forgive me for the formatting issues.

Mr. Fall Down Terror posted:

you know she'd be constantly bombarded with texts and calls accusing her of being unsupportive for not hosting two dozen people in her home

i mean the real nuclear option would be to invite everyone and then check into a nice hotel for a few days with the kid and let the family watch pissbaby husband wallow and flounder as he is entirely helpless without his absent wife but at that point she may as well serve him papers

quote:

My youngest child, my daughter became angry with me when her father passed away about 18 mos ago. She cut off contact with me for about 6 weeks but we managed to get back on track. Then in September of 2020, she got mad at me, for what i’m still not sure, and she cut me off again and has refused to let me see my 4 yr old granddaughter who i had a wonderful relationship with. So good in fact, she used to bug my daughter to take her to see nana. I left it alone for a few months. I saw her at Christmas and that was the last time. I’ve never known a pain like this. I’ve tried a few times to talk to her, most recently today but she told me if i tried again, she’d file for a restraining order to keep me away. This is the same daughter who just 2 years ago said she could never move to another state because she couldn’t be that far away from her mom. There were times when she’d call me to thank me for being a good mom and when she was pregnant, she said she wanted her daughter to spend as much time as possible with me because there are things about life that only i could teach her. From the day she moved out at age 19, no less than 3 nights a week, she’d send me a text that simply said i love you mom. I have no idea how to deal with this pain or how to fix it. I’ve had days that i cried so much i ended up dehydrated. I have dreams where she’s little and i’m begging her to not hate me when she grows up.

quote:

I can sympathize with all the parents who are in the same situation as I am. Fortunately, my daughter and her husband have set up a page on their phone where they can post pictures/videos of my two grandchildren for various members of their family which includes 4 grandparents, aunts and uncles. I will give them credit for that because that at least allows me to see updated pictures of my two precious ones and I love it. Periodically they will do Facetime with me and my husband which they did on/about Halloween and Thanksgiving. We haven’t been around our grandkids since about February due to COVID, so they already have pulled away from us, not much interested in talking to us on the phone or being excited to see us. We had established a fairly close relationship with the kids as they only live about a 3-hour drive from us but now the parents won’t let us come around at all, even with masks.

The four of them have completely isolated themselves from the world as they’re afraid to get sick. Anyhow, not knowing when we’ll be able to see the kids anymore, I’ve started a spiral notebook on our relationship with each of the kids. If they never see us again (we’re in our 70s), when we pass away, maybe someone will hand these notebooks to the kids and they’ll know how much we loved them and see pictures of us with them. I still have little to no contact with my daughter. If I text her, it may take days, sometimes weeks, before she responds and then it’s usually just an emoji. I would like a conversation with her but she’s not much interested. When we Facetime, she’s very talkative though. She just doesn’t want me and my husband in their lives.

If I send clothes for the kids, I may see them on them…or not. When I ask about them, I’m told she and her husband didn’t like the clothes so didn’t use them. What??? If I send a Valentine card for the kids, 2 months later in a photo I may still see it sitting on the counter unopened, not displayed so the kids can see it. The same with a birthday card I send to my daughter. She never acknowledges it and it appears still in the envelope on the kitchen counter. I’ve always thought I just need to stop sending her a birthday card then I talk myself out of it thinking what a bad mom I would be for not sending a card. This year, 2020, I will not send a card though. I’ll do as she does which is send a Happy Birthday text later at night, after the day is over. She has no care or concern for me and my feelings. I’m very sad but am trying to move on with my life. Sheri’s book has been so helpful and I would encourage everyone who hasn’t read it, to do so. I encourage all moms to pick themselves up and try to move forward. Decorate your house for the Christmas season, talk to friends on the phone about pleasant subjects, take lovely walks enjoying the changing of the colors outside and make friends with life. I try not to spend all of my time focusing on my grandchildren and what I no longer have. I like to think I have a lot of life left in me and I need to enjoy doing things nice for myself and others. Peace to all of us.

quote:

Hi Everyone and I hope this finds you all OK. Just some thoughts after a couple of interesting happenings around Father’s day.

All chn contacted their dad, one by sms, one let the grandchildren skype and the other just rang. Two of them promised him a letter and a present. As it has been over 2 weeks and no letter or present I decided to sms with ‘Have you sent letter/pressie as we are going away and do not want mail sitting in our letterbox’. Response from one was öh it is sitting on my table I keep forgetting to send it, The other said, you said you were away so I didn’t send. So, as to set record straight I immediately sms’d back, don’t worry and where did you get the idea we were away? you said you were away. !! Nope didnt but it had been read into an sms from a while ago. Finally got a OOOOHHH I assumed!!! It is sad to see husband/dad sad and he says it doesn’t hurt but I know it does.

So, thinking about these things I think I may have come up with an answer for me anyway ( besides all the others)

1) Hind site is AWESOME and as I have said before I am sure we all did the best with the situation we were in and if that is not good enough looking back is not going to make it any better.

2) I think they all thought they could do a better job than we did. Only to find out that the adult world/real world is very very different from the perceived one they had. Having children is B**** hard relentless work, Paying bills, working, bring money in, budgeting, in our case moving over 20 times around the country for husbands job, all add up to the stress and strains that they are immune from as children/teenagers. They think/know they can do better until they have to…… then the guilt/realization/ concept that they can’t do better and that the entire process is very very difficult but cannot admit so then start blaming their parents as they are really easy targets for their outlets.

So, as I have said before we are off to enjoy our lives an the ball is well and truly in their court.

trickybiscuits posted:

Okay but consider: just serving him papers isn't funny

She posted this at the end of March. The greatest pain she had ever experienced was not seeing her grandchild for four months.

I don't like posting this stuff in the Estranged Parents thread anymore because I'm afraid it will give someone a flashback.

And I like this one because it's such a good insight into how these people think:

Ah yes, children and teenagers, famously known for having no problems, particularly with moving multiple times.

Cowslips Warren posted:

In the theme of Give Me Your Thing, I just had a friend of mine text me asking for pictures of my personal cats. I thought maybe he was going to get some kind of canvas made for me for the holidays, because that's what I did for him last year of his pets. No, he told me he was at a customer's house today, and they're super nice couple and wanted to adopt a cat, and he wanted to show them some. Not the cats I'm fostering, my personal cats. He doesn't understand why I'm rather pissed off at him right now.

quote:

I got hired for this salaried job where they really hyped up the work life balance and reasonable hours in the job interview. Like the way that they never expect people to stay late or work on weekends or holidays.

That turned out to be BS. My boss got my personal phone number off my resume from when I applied and after not long he was blowing up my phone on nights and weekends asking me to come work.

I'd always not answer then when he'd ask on Monday why I wasn't answering my phone, I'd pull out my work phone like "sorry, are you sure you had the right number? I'm not seeing any missed calls" and he'd often say he called my own cell so I'd say that I don't really use it much, I leave it home a lot, and when I do check it I've usually got like 40 missed calls and my voicemail is always full so I probably miss stuff unless I'm expecting a call at a certain time. And that if he needs to reach me he should try my work phone because I'm very careful to follow up on any call to that within 1 business day.

He asked me how he could reach me outside of 9 to 5 because he sees I leave my work phone on my desk at night and over the weekend. I said that honestly I'm not glued to any phone on the weekend so if he needs me to take a call on the weekend, could he make it a meeting request and put it on my calendar, so I know to be available. Or if I know I won't be available to take a call, I can suggest an alternate time to call.

He said that wasn't really gonna work for him, more often things come up last minute and when he calls people on the weekend it wasn't planned. And that he's not calling for a teleconference meeting, he's calling asking people to come in.

I said that on the weekends I usually have commitments that were made one to three weeks out and I'm not often able to cancel a previous commitment with under a day notice. So if he needs me in on a weekend it'd be best if he could schedule that three weeks out so that I know not to make conflicting plans.

He said that wasn't possible and I said okay, he could try and reach out and I'd answer the phone if I heard it ringing, but I wasn't always on the phone so I might not catch it always

Anyway, I've gone back to ignoring his calls and my coworkers have gotten kinda frustrated with me saying that coming in on weekends is part of the job and that I wasn't pulling my weight. I said that I don't know what job they signed on for but in my job interview I was promised regular hours and took my pay based on regular hours so I'm working regular hours.

My coworkers got frustrated and said that if everyone did what I was doing nothing would get done. I said maybe nothing should get done then, if it's coming at the cost of y'all not being home for dinner with the family.

I don't really think my coworkers see it as an option to say no, so they're angry at me because I'm doing it and they're not comfortable doing it

AITA for not working evenings or weekends?

Hellblazer187 posted:

If it's just "Yup, here's some cats, look at how cute cats in general can be! Let me refer you to an excellent shelter I know of now that you're sold on the concept of having a cat" I don't see the problem.

Mx. posted:

I'd always not answer then when he'd ask on Monday why I wasn't answering my phone, I'd pull out my work phone like "sorry, are you sure you had the right number? I'm not seeing any missed calls" and he'd often say he called my own cell so I'd say that I don't really use it much, I leave it home a lot, and when I do check it I've usually got like 40 missed calls and my voicemail is always full so I probably miss stuff unless I'm expecting a call at a certain time. And that if he needs to reach me he should try my work phone because I'm very careful to follow up on any call to that within 1 business day.

Mx. posted:

AITA for telling my boss "no" to working weekends, when my coworkers don't?


lol

quote:

I’ve had a previous experience with this group as I live in a neighborhood that has an HOA but I was there before the rest of the houses were built and before they formed this group. I’m not a member in anyway and that has been verified by a real estate attorney.

So anyway apparently they have a rule over how many lights you can put up and what the earliest date you can put them up. The woman who I deal with the most when I upset them came by on 11/30 and told me my lights were against the policy and that I was not allowed to have as many lights up as I do.

I told her that we been over this before that I am in no way beholden to their policies and don’t care. I told her out of respect to the people in the neighborhood I did like that I wasn’t going to go full Clark Griswold on my house but that my nieces and nephews loved lights so I would be putting up a fair amount. I also told her that I didn’t care about their rules that the lights could only be on during certain hours and that once done putting them up on the 30th I would likely turn them on and leave them on till Christmas.

She told me that me breaking the rules upset other members and that I should respect their rules even if I don’t follow them because I technically live in the neighborhood. She offered me a flyer which apparently had their rules for lights.

I tossed it in the trash and told her to just get off my property. I pro

cumpantry posted:

admittedly i'm very nervous about going into teaching professionally next year, especially with all the Brand New Phone App horseshit my mentor gets dumped on his desk, but this post gives me hope i can stand my ground should the time come (assuming i'm a decent teacher besides the Phone App Refusal). i'm surprised though they terminated you mid semester instead of at the end where they could've quietly shuffled you away

MagusofStars posted:

Except...why would he need to ask for photos of Cowslips' cats to show off "these are cute cats" for that rather than looking up literally any website?

Escape Goat posted:

ESH + YTA for being weirdly passive and roundabout instead of just saying "I'm not going to work on the weekend"

Mx. posted:

AITA for putting up my Christmas lights early even though the HOA that I’m not a part of says it violates the rules and upsets the people in the HOA

Mx. posted:

AITA for putting up my Christmas lights early even though the HOA that I’m not a part of says it violates the rules and upsets the people in the HOA

Mx. posted:

AITA for telling my boss "no" to working weekends, when my coworkers don't?

The Maroon Hawk posted:

I don’t even know 26 family members of mine off the top of my head, much less 26 I’d want to spend five days straight with

Mx. posted:

AITA for telling my boss "no" to working weekends, when my coworkers don't?

Hellblazer187 posted:

Wait wait wait... he wanted pictures of your pets, thinking he could adopt them out from your house to his customers? He wanted pictures as specific examples of "Yes, this particular cat is one example of a cat you could have"???? If it's just "Yup, here's some cats, look at how cute cats in general can be! Let me refer you to an excellent shelter I know of now that you're sold on the concept of having a cat" I don't see the problem. But if it's like, trying to take your babies away to score a sale or something, jfc, never be friends with him again.

quote:

** reposted with the mods permission

I (23 M) recently got into a big fight with my older brother (33 M). I am the youngest of 5 and because of the big age gap with my older siblings (they're all 10 years older than me), I've never really had a connection with them and they always had some sort of hard feelings from me mainly because I was raised very comfortably by my parents and they did not had that. when I was 16 I started a business and It was successful enough for me to buy my parents a house and put my siblings into grad school.

Even though I have had many efforts to connect to them and doing nice things by putting them in college and using my work connections to get them better jobs, they all still seem dissatisfied and use my sexuality against me and while I don't mind their rudeness and overt homophobia over me, I still want the best for them and thus I offered to fully pay for my brother (33 M) wedding and honeymoon.

Things were good for a while during the wedding preparations and I had planned and sponsored the best wedding possible for him until one day, 2 weeks before the wedding he suddenly called me and said that he does not want my boyfriend at the wedding and he does not want to see me and my bf display of our sexuality at his religious wedding. I of course got really mad and said that we won't be bothering anyone and my boyfriend will just pretend to be a friend of mine, but he did not accept that and said that if me and my boyfriend show up together, he will kick us out.

After the call ended, I contacted the wedding venue and planner and cancelled everything. my brother panicked and started threatening me and after a while he finally agreed to let me and my boyfriend be at the wedding. I did not agree and was still adamant on not paying a cent for the wedding. all of my siblings have tried to convince me to put the wedding back on but I've blocked them all but my parents are still very supportive of my decision.

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

It’s amazing the absolute dogshit quality of apps some organizations will pay for. Like bored teenagers make better designed and more functional apps that some of the poo poo I’ve seen the institutions use. Half the time it’s basically a lovely wrapper around a better existing system.

Cowslips Warren posted:

I have no clue. After I blew up on him, he uttered the best words ever to say in an argument: Calm down.

He did admit he "almost had them sold" on getting a cat. He was surprised when I reminded him one cat has a heart defect, so, you know, not adoptable outside the rescue.

I am still levels of WTF about this all.


AITA For cancelling my brother's wedding

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA For cancelling my brother's wedding

spacetoaster posted:

An app on your personal phone?

I will never accept any work required program on a personal device. If they want me to use it, they must provide me with a work phone or laptop (my school does provide me with a laptop).

Baronjutter posted:

It's so pathetic and awful to see how thoroughly stockholm syndrome'd so many workers are there days. The whole world of tech is specially bad for that. Like everyone has solidarity with their boss and sees their fellow workers only as potential rivals and people who aren't carrying their weight.

OP posted:

So I live in a really luxurious apartment complex. I'm a web developer that makes good money. However, I grew up poor and "trashy" all my life, so I don't look like I belong here. And it seems like there is at least one tenant wanting me out of there.

So up until today, all of the complaints did have some merrit. I always made sure to take the criticism and not let it happen again. It's always just something small like noise complaints.

Well today I got a call from my apartment complex saying that someone said that my roomate had been leaving his dogs outside for hours on end and also abuses his dogs.

This is a flat out lie.

The only thing that came even REMOTELY close to the truth was last night, my roommates Chihuahua got out and ran off. The second we go. Odd, my roomate, myself, and his girlfriend who was visiting at the time, all went out and looked for her and called for her for 30 minutes until we found her.

So no one was leaving a dog. And this was the first time it happened. It isn't uncommon for dogs to accidentally get out, and I don't see it a huge deal unless it happens frequently, or if you just let you dog roam and not give any effort in getting your dog back on the leash or inside.

They said that animal control has launched an investigation. And "tenants have been talking and are really concerned."

My question is, what is my rights in Tennessee? I have never paid rent late not once.

Whats the likelihood of losing my place to live over an accusation from a tenant that seems to have an out for me? I don't know who I. May be or even why. I always keep to myself and never cause you to ok many problems. Even when I have gotten noise complaints, it wasn't frequent.

I would not consider myself a problem tenant at all. All that is wrong with me is my appearance. And there's nothing I can do because I'm white.

No one ever talks about clasisist discrimination. Not only thst, but I'm also autistic so I may appear to be a little eccentric to the few people I do interact with. But I've never stepped on any toes.

What can I do to protect my place of living?

OP posted:

Idk why you're making it out to be as if I'm doing something wrong. I came here saying I have never done anything wrong except the occasional loud music (before midnight mind you) and I've made sure to not let it happen.

OP posted:

As far as not looking poor anymore. I do need some very expensive dental procedures to get my teeth to look normal. Unfortunately, my insurance won't cover it and I need to pay about $10k out of pocket and my credit isn't good enough to get care credit.
Either way, I don't think having had teeth makes it justifiable to make up lies to try and get someone kicked out.

OP in a different thread posted:

I don't shoot, I just snort, so maybe that's where I'm missing the mark. But I noticed if I smoke speed, it will waste the dope. Like I don't feel the dope, just the meth. So I always gotta make sure I wait a while after smoking before doing dope.

Now, if I do a bump of blow, I can do dope too and not lose any effects. In fact, it synergizes really nicely.

Also, slightly off topic. But the fact that meth and dope isn't called a speed ball, but instead a "goof ball" really bothers me. Meth is speed, not coke. So to call coke+heroin a speed ball doesn't make any sense. Like, it would make more sense to call meth+H a speedball, and cole+H a snowball.

he didn't. matter of fact he planned to sit at the table and tell stories about his dad while I handle everything. not only that but my inlaws are known to be selfish and believe that as 'guests' they don't have to help out the host since it's my responsibilty. I mean I've been there before serving his family when they visit while he sits with them. but the whole family while working and pregnant and taking care of my son? that was a no from me. his family are of course aren't happy as well. posted: