Pomme de Terror posted:

AITA for telling my mom about a message her bf sent me

thotsky posted:

Is this just someone who want to share their story and AITA is a really popular subreddit or something? How could they possibly be the rear end in a top hat?

Flared Basic Bitch posted:

I’ve only had two serious migraines in my life, and anyone that thinks you can just walk that poo poo off can get hosed sideways.

Xakura posted:

Xakura posted:

muscles like this! posted:

So I guess the actual answer is that she lives in a hoarder house situation.

quote:

This all literally just went down, I'm in shambles and i feel like maybe I'm crazy. So I'm sorry for any typos, or if some things make no sense. I instantly jumped to reddit because i have NO ONE to talk to.

My boyfriend and I, (23 F) have had some issues dealing with gifts. I am not materialistic in the slightest. Dont get me wrong, i like STUFF. But I pay for my STUFF, especially my expensive stuff. A lot of people think the gift giving love language is materialistic and its not that, at all. I am CONSTANTLY buying my boyfriend things, and these things are 'things' that i think he could use or really needs.

He's not like me, he does not like STUFF. And by stuff i mean, i have my fair share of squishmallows, my funkos, i buy my hair care products, nail polish. I have my trinkets, statues, buttons , stickers. You know stuff. He is the opposite of that. So when i get him stuff, it things he needs. He would wear the same 3 t-shirts and ive heard him multiple time saying he wished he had more band tees. Black Friday i bought him 6. He doesn't have coats, i bought him an Iron maiden hoodie for xmas.

He asked me what i wanted for xmas today, and i simply said " I wish you could shop for me without me telling you what to get me, it would mean a lot more to me." I meant nothing malicious by this, i didn't think i said anything harmful. Welp, i was wrong.

He said , xmas shouldn't be about the gifts, it should be about spending time with each other and family. I dont appreciate you saying that i dont care or love you because i didn't buy you a gift that meets your ridiculous expectations... We've been arguing all day.

Not once did i say this or even thought of it that way. I constantly buy him things... because i love him. And this is how i show my love. I see something, i think of him ,i get it. Because i love him. Because he needs it or I've heard him say he wants it. He doesn't do the same for me and it hurts my feelings. I dont like to ask for thing all the time, i want him to show up and say i got this for you. Like i do for him.

We had an incident in October, we made each other "Boo Baskets." If you dont know, its basically Easter baskets for adults. I got him things he likes, candy, his favorite wine, a cool dungeons & dragons mug, a D&D notebook (also very cool), and a few other things. That i put into a decorated basket. Him? He got me gift cards to fast food places , (I'm on a diet), mini m&ms ( that he opened before giving them to me and ate half the bag), themed socks for an anime i dont like, BUT he got me funkos that i told him i wanted 3 days prior. He threw everything into a dirty, smelly, ferret box. It had dried pee and poop in it.

I couldn't hide my disappointment as i started to tear up, because I've been sending him pictures of baskets online, FOR MONTHS. He didn't start getting stuff until the day before we planned to give them to each other. He blew up and told me it shouldn't matter what he got, its the thought that counts. Which is what upset me because there was no thought. He could've got everything from the dollar store, but if there was thought behind everything i would've loved it.

He could bring me the ugliest .75 cents teddy bear and say " i thought you'd find this funny" and id cherish it. He doesn't understand this and i dont know how to make him understand. Sometimes I wonder if I'm expecting too much, or Maybe I'm being dramatic and emotional. But I dont have anything i can point at and say my boyfriend got me this, and it hurts..

​

TLDR; BF doesn't get me gifts , and it hurts my feelings. lol.

welcome to hell posted:

My boyfriend (27M) instantly jumped to conclusions about getting me gifts

welcome to hell posted:

My boyfriend (27M) instantly jumped to conclusions about getting me gifts

welcome to hell posted:

My boyfriend (27M) instantly jumped to conclusions about getting me gifts

quote:

So I have a Degree in Fashion which some people think means I can be their personal seamstress, i'm used to this problem and I don't mind helping people out but I never work for free.

My pregnant friend recently reached out to me and asked me if I could make her, her wedding dress and sent me pictures of the idea she had in mind, it isn't exactly a simple dress but also not the most complex i've ever done either, I told her I could for sure do that for her and it'd cost £600, she was shocked at this and told me she thought i'd do it for free and she'd just pay for materials, I pointed out how many hours this would take me to do and all the hand embroidery needed, then I explained I was doing this for a quarter of the price i'd charge other people because she's my friend.

At this point she started to get very upset telling me I have no idea how much stress she's under with the wedding and the fact she's pregnant and how money is tight and how this should be my wedding gift to her and how great it'd look in my portfolio, I don't think i'm being unreasonable to want some money for this...but other friends are telling me it's horrible how i'm wanting to charge her for this and it's not like i'm a high end bridal shop...am I being unreasonable?

quote:

When I brought up the fact it's hand embroidered will be a big issue for price she actually sent me a picture of a cosplayer tip where someone sewed over puffy paint....like yes for cosplayers that is great but your wedding dress is not a costume and that is not going to last as well as you think..

quote:

I am a mother to five, 12m,12f,14m,15f,15m. When I started dating my husband the kids were 2,4 and 5. Their father died when I was pregnant with the youngest twins. I didn't introduce my kids to my husband until we were fully serious. My husband never really liked kids, and mine were at a very difficult age back then. They were constantly acting out etc. I made it really clear that while he doesn't have to like them he must respect them, I said the same to the kids as well. You can't force feelings after all. In the upcoming years, my husband and kids naturally grew very close. They call him father and he loves them very much.

Recently my sister who has 3 kids (father is not in the picture) got married. She fully expects her husband to love the kids as his own and vice versa. Naturally, this isn't working. The kids are revolting and recently her husband told her he wants to just be a stepdad. My sister came over today and started ranting about how unfair it was and how my husband loves my kids and why can't her husband be the same.

I told her my husband was never asked to love my kids only to respect them. That she cant expect her husband and her kids to love each other right away. She called me a horrible mother and an AH.

Cowslips Warren posted:

I have never heard of Boo Baskets. I'd assume it was some kind of goth sex toy before Halloween/Easter adult baskets.

Mx. posted:

AITA for not wanting to make my friend a wedding dress for cost of materials?

At this point she started to get very upset telling me I have no idea how much stress she's under with the wedding and the fact she's pregnant and how money is tight and how this should be my wedding gift to her and how great it'd look in my portfolio

lol

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for saying my husband didn't have to like my kids?

Batterypowered7 posted:

Lmao, calling the OP a horrible mother for respecting the feelings of both her new husband and her children.

quote:

My (29m) good friend (26f) is currently house hunting. For a bit of background information, I come from a fairly well-off family, while my friend does not. My job also pays a decent amount more than hers does (and while said job allows me to live comfortably, I am by no means wealthy, especially considering the high cost of living in my city). My friend has been trying to purchase a house for the past year and a half, and even though her credit score is excellent, she doesn't make enough money from her job to qualify for a mortgage without a co-signer. It’s not an issue of her being too picky in terms of what houses she will consider either, since she is looking exclusively at entry-level homes in more rural areas outside of the city, where prices tend to be amongst the lowest in our wider geographical region. She has repeatedly suggested to me that I should co-sign on a mortgage for her. I am pretty much her only option for this, since neither her parents nor any of her other friends are in a financial position to be able to help. The thing is though, I really don't want to co-sign for her. Here's why:

I'm working towards purchasing a place of my own in one of the most expensive real estate markets in the world. From what I understand, co-signing for her would be seen as the equivalent of me already having a pre-existing mortgage in the eyes of the bank. This co-sign could make it more difficult for me to secure loans that I may need for the next 25-30 years.

My friend has given me a guarantee that she will not default on the mortgage, but honestly, I don't see how she can make a promise like that. She already has health issues and works a physically demanding job. If she became incapacitated and unable to work, then her mortgage would become entirely my responsibility. I also feel really uncomfortable about co-signing on a mortgage for a house that I don’t even intend to live in and won’t be on the deed for. To me, this makes no financial sense.

She didn't even really ask me. She just said that this is what she needed, and expected me to go along with it. I've tried expressing to her how uncomfortable I am with the idea, but her response was that I'm her only hope of not being homeless, and that if I don't want to see her out on the streets, then I need to co-sign. I don't understand why she can't just continue to rent, but she is adamant that this is not an option for her.

Most of our mutual friends who know about this situation are on her side, and think that not co-signing for her would be cruel. Some of them have even tried to be her co-signer, but were rejected by the bank for various different reasons (i.e., not making enough money, bad credit scores, etc.). This has sort of made me question whether I'm being unreasonable and selfish.

So, good people of r/AmItheAsshole, I need to know: would I be the rear end in a top hat if I refused to co-sign my friend’s mortgage?

Soylent Pudding posted:

WIBTA for refusing to co-sign my friend's mortgage?

quote:

He posts photos on Instagram all the time of the food he makes. He really likes cooking, but he frequently throws away the food he makes.

By that I mean, he’ll buy all these groceries, make a nice meal, post a photo on Instagram, then throw it away if it’s not something he normal likes eating.

For example, last week, he got high end steak, did his thing, then threw it away because he doesn’t actually like steak. He just likes cooking a lot and posting photos of it.

Today he shows up at my apartment with a live lobster (and I know he doesn’t like lobster) and some other stuff to make Lobster Thermidor. I told him I wasn’t going to let him use my kitchen since he’s just going to waste it. He went back to his apt and did it there anyway.

He’s upset with me about not letting him use my kitchen. I told him it’s only because he’s wasting it, but he says it’s not my problem since he pays for it all. Was I in the wrong

Soylent Pudding posted:

WIBTA for refusing to co-sign my friend's mortgage?

thotsky posted:

That's dumb. I can't really get myself to believe that a chicken nuggets guy likes to cook.

Funktastic posted:

AITA for not letting my bf cook in my kitchen since he always throws away the food he makes?

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for saying my husband didn't have to like my kids?

Soylent Pudding posted:

WIBTA for refusing to co-sign my friend's mortgage?

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Are we really sleeping on her dating her current husband while pregnant with her previous dead husband’s children?

I mean I guess it worked out and they have a big happy blended family, but uh that sets a pretty narrow window for moving on.

Mr. Fall Down Terror posted:

extremely passive aggressive marriage proposal

"so we should, like, buy a house together. wouldn't that be weird? im just kidding haha but no really"

vonnegutt posted:

I Googled them, because I'm usually vaguely aware of dumb Pinterest trends like that via my sister or cousins, and even I hadn't heard of it. So far, they definitely seem to be for kids - it's your Halloween candy bucket but instead of being all candy from trick or treat it's only a little candy and then Halloween themed crafts, knick-knacks, etc.

Definitely seems to be from the same school of thought as "trunk or treat" in church parking lots. "Hallowe'en is the DEVIL's night, but if we cancel it outright the kids will revolt so let's give them some watered down experience and hopefully they'll get bored on their own!" Only this time it's not the fundies who are trying to cancel Halloween, it's the progressives who think "Kids shouldn't eat a whole BUCKET of CANDY! They can have little a candy, as a treat, and then we'll just fill the rest of this bucket with plastic spider rings and a bunch of pumpkin stickers, for their Health."

quote:

So my (27f) close friend Bethany (27f) is getting married the day after Christmas to her fiancé, Jim (29m). Jim and her have been together for 5 years, he popped the question in late 2020 and they've been planning that wedding for a year.

Bethany and I used to be really close like sisters. When she first got with Jim she started prioritising her relationship as months and years went by. She didn't cut me off or anything but she stopped hanging out as much with me and the girls, she stopped coming to basketball practice (bethany, I and some other girls who are our friends used to go on practice together). I was concerned and I asked her if she's ok because she seems distant since she wouldn't hang out as much with us anymore. She said she's fine she just lost interest in basketball and found new hobbies. Her new hobbies consisted of yoga. She also dropped out of college and went on to get a certification to be a yoga trainer,completely ruining her academic career. I thought Jim was behind this but everyone says she seems really happy now. I couldn't see it and I always thought she changed for the worst. About the hanging out she claimed that she never stopped hanging out with us she just needs to balance her time between work, hobbies, relationships and friendships. But she always had time for Jim but never for us. Everyone told me I'm overreacting since she still hangs out with us. I know she does but it's not like in the past when we'd hang out more often so there's definitely a change.

Two weeks ago she had her bachelorette party. Another friend of mine and I were discussing how she's centered her whole life around planning that wedding for a whole hear and how she's lost herself to that man and her pretendious hobbies. Bethany's sister overheard me and told her what she heard. Bethany didn't speak to me for the rest of the night. The next day she sent me a long text, she didn't even call me, just to tell me how I'm uninvited from the wedding since I don't seem too happy about it and that if I'm gonna be overly judgemental about her life and her choices I don't deserve to be part of her special day.

I am completely heartbroken by this and everyone around me tells me I had it coming and that I'm TA for talking badly about her and her choices in her bachelor party and how my whole attitude towards her choices for all these years was leading up to this moment. Aita?

littleratbastard posted:

“I am a mother to five, 12m,12f,14m,15f,15m. When I started dating my husband the kids were 2,4 and 5. Their father died when I was pregnant with the youngest twins.”

The youngest kids were two years old when she met the new husband, she wasn’t still pregnant, but it’s pretty weirdly worded, honestly.

quote:

Hi. I'm (31 yo female) a sahm and my husband works full time job. To be fair his job's very demanding and he barely finds the energy to sit at the table and eat after he gets home. We have a 9 months old son and I handle most of his care obviously but my husband plays and sleeps with him at night. To be frank, I'm fully exhausted and as a new mom I have to say I let myself go meaning I haven't wore a nice outfit or gone out or had guests over for months.

My sister's wedding is coming up and we already recieved an invite but thing is I had to go dress shopping and get my hair done. I asked my husband on his day off if he could stay with our son for just 2 hours til I get back and he seemed hasitant asking lots of "what if" questions but I promised he got this and I'd be quick. He shrugged saying "fine go...but 2 hours and not a minute more!" I thanked him then left but he started calling every 10#15 min asking when I'd be back. Frankly, it got annoying I decided to put my phone on silent when I got to the salon but afte I checked my phone later I found over 20 missed calls and a text message from him saying I needed to get home fast because there was fire in the kitchen. My heart sank I froze and started calling my sister. She came and took me home and called the cops who notified us later that there was nothing going on in our neighborhood. I was confused, especially after my husband didn't answer my calls. I rushed inside the house to find him pacing around asking why the heck I took too long to get home. I asked about the kitchen fire and he nonchantly said kitchen was fine but he wasn't and he just had to lie to get me to get home after I ignored his calls and after leaving him with our son for 4 hours when I said 2. I was flabbergasted I screamed at him about how awful what he did was but he defended himself saying I lied to him first and made him watch our son longer than agreed upon but I said he should've sucked it up since this my first shopping and hair salon trip in 9 months but he asked why he should just suck it up when child care is more my responsibilty than his?...He basically blamed me for creating this issue in the first place but I said it's his fault since he refused to pay for a babysitter and asking why he should pay for a babysitter when our son has me? He was even more upset after a cop showed up and had him go to the station to deal with his false claims of a fire incident. He blamed this on me too because I'd my sister call the cops and escalated the situation. He insisted none of this would've happened if I didn't lie about how long I planned to stay out of the house and ignoring his calls. His family are enraged with how I treated him on his much needed day off.

Started thinking maybe I started this issue. AITA

EDIT the reason I took 4hrs to get done is because the salon was busy and since I don't have a car I couldn't go to another one.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA? I got uninvited from my friend's wedding and everyone says it's my fault.

the holy poopacy posted:

this year we handed out little plastic knicknacks and stickers alongside the normal fun size candy and kids went absolutely apeshit for it, so I'm not sure the concept is that far off base