greazeball posted:

Nobody gets to pick their own nickname, these are the rules.

quote:

AITA for overruling my wife on a matter concerning our daughter?
I (42M) and my wife (38F) have a daughter (14) who is friends with the son (13) of an acquaintance of mine. Because my daughter and her friend are different genders, my wife insists on always supervising their playdates. Our daughter can't go to his house; he has to come here. She always watches the kids when they're together and doesn't let our daughter close the door when they're in her room.

TBH, I always thought my wife was being fairly reasonable until this incident. Kids are kids, and they're nearing the complicated age. So I always backed my wife up, even when my daughter begged to be allowed to her friend's house.

Recently, my wife was watching the kids while I was at work and realized she needed some things from the store. She made the children go with her so they wouldn't be alone. Apparently (I'm obviously getting all of this info second hand) the kids wondered off while she was shopping. While they were alone, an employee approached my daughter's friend and accused him of stealing something.

My daughter's friend turned out his jacket pockets, and there was nothing in there but his phone and keys. The employee demanded my daughter's friend remove his jacket, because she thought something was hidden under the jacket. My daughter's friend refused and said he didn't steal anything. My daughter called for my wife, and she showed up pretty quickly.

My wife sided with the employee and asked my daughter's friend to remove the jacket. When he did, the employee saw the necklace he was wearing and demanded he take it off so she could inspect it to see if it was merchandise from the store. I've seen him wearing this necklace before, for the record. At this point, he ran out of the store into the cold, not wearing a jacket, and called his grandfather to come pick him up.

I was at work when my acquaintance called me, furious. He said his son was half frozen when his dad got to him (which I believe, because it's very cold here right now) and that my wife profiled his son. He told me that his son won't be going over to my house ever again.

Now, my wife did end up apologizing to this boy, but he still isn't allowed at our house. Here's the part where I may be the rear end in a top hat. I've been letting my daughter go over to their house for playdates. The grandfather is always home to watch the kids, and as far as I know she's been having a good time. My wife is furious with me for allowing this (I gave the school permission to let the grandfather pick her up with her friend) and has called me a terrible husband and a poor excuse for a father. She thinks I'm just trying to save face with my acquaintance.

The thing is, that's not the case. I just don't think my daughter should be punished for my wife's actions. From what I heard, it sounds like my daughter stood up for her friend. She even told the employee he shouldn't have to turn out his pockets because the employee didn't have a warrant. My wife is the one who messed up.

I basically told my wife that actions have consequences, and now she isn't speaking to me. This whole situation has basically ruined Christmas for the whole family. Initially I felt like I was in the right, but now I'm not sure, because my whole family is miserable on Christmas because I won't listen to my wife. Reddit, AITA?

commenter posted:

I mean all of the “hang out” stuff aside your wife clearly threw this kid under the bus at the store because she didn’t like him. Pretty hosed up honestly. Poor dude.

OP posted:

Welp. Turns out this is exactly the case.

I wanted to talk to my daughter, but obviously she's still asleep. So I went upstairs (I've been hiding in the living room because of the whole my wife not speaking to me thing). My wife was still awake, and all of your comments were fresh on my mind. So I asked her some questions.

I said, point blank, "Do you not trust our daughter?"

Obviously she was furious, and she said that she did. She said it's teenage boys that she doesn't trust and asked me if I remember what I was like as a teenager. I asked her if this boy has ever given her a reason not to trust him. Well, she exploded. She said a lot, but one thing really struck with me.

She said "Just because [acquaintance name] wanted to take in a street urchin for the novelty of it all, shouldn't mean it's our problem. I never wanted them to spend time together, but you insisted on compromise even though we are supposed to be the parents. We gave an inch, and now look, they've gone and taken a mile."

I. Was. Floored. I never knew she felt that way! Now I'm scared that there may have been other instances before this I never heard about because they weren't as bad. It's clear to me now that she hates this kid.

When my daughter wakes up, I'm taking her our for breakfast (she and her mom need to not be around each other right now) and we are going to have a looooong talk that will probably include some groveling from me.

Holy poo poo. I can't believe I was so checked out of my marriage I had no idea my wife literally Hates our daughter's best friend.

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

I dunno if anyone actually posted it to Reddit, I just saw a tweet suggesting it and thought it’d make a nice “merry Christmas, thread” post. Probably it would be.

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin posted:

Nonsense. my grandkids are going to call me T-Bone, and they're going to like it

maybe they can call me "terrible snipe" instead. content:

(other comments make clear that OP's daughter's friend is, coincidentally, not white)

quote:

eddit users sided with one man who said he told his stay-at-home wife that she is responsible for the majority of the housework at the couple's shared home.

In a viral post on Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole, u/egyptian_siphon asked the subreddit's nearly 3.4 million members if he was wrong to tell his wife that she will be taking care of the house while he is at work. Explaining that his wife wanted to be a stay-at-home wife, u/egyptian_siphon said that she recently came to him and asked if they could discuss their potential "chore split" for when she is no longer working full-time.

Man Shares The Hilarious Notes His Wife Leaves Explaining How To Use The Crockpot
"She said that I'd have to take the trash out everyday and do laundry," the Redditor wrote, before relaying his own desired terms. "I said that since she'd be home all day, she'd have to do all the cooking, laundry, cleaning, pay the bills, getting things fixed at home, taking the trash out, etc."

Adding that he would only be responsible for picking up after himself and not messing up the house, u/egyptian_siphon said that his wife was upset at his response, and told her husband that she is "not a maid."

"She said that she didn't want to spend her days doing all the housework. I said that is literally the job of a stay at home spouse. So she said I am being misogynistic. I replied that I'm not being misogynistic because I'd be doing all the housework too if I was going to be the stay at home spouse instead of her," he wrote.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, a unit of the United States Department of Labor, stay-at-home spouses are not as common as they once were. However, with rising unemployment rates in 2020 due to COVID-19, the number of married couples with just one full-time worker rose slightly over the last couple of years.

In its annual Employment Characteristics of Families release, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that in 45.5 percent of married-couple families, both spouses were employed — down from 49.7 percent the previous year. And last year, "only one spouse was employed in 26.7percent of married-couple families, up from 25.2 percent in 2019."

In the original Reddit post, which has received more than 8,000 votes and nearly 2,000 comments, u/egyptian_siphon said he told his wife if she doesn't like his proposed chore split, she can return to her old job, and after revealing his wife was not talking to him as a result of their housework disagreement, other Reddit users came to the original poster's defense.

"Probably gonna get downvoted for this but... NTA," u/DepressedHealingGod wrote in the post's top comment, which has received nearly 21,000 votes itself.

"Obviously you will probably need to do a few random things around the house but no kids and she wants to be stay at home implies that she is going to be managing the house and keeping it in order," they continued.

Other commenters on u/egyptian_siphon's post focused on his wife's accusations that he was being misogynistic by delegating much of the at-home responsibilities, and many maintained that he was not being misogynistic at all.

"OP is far from being 'misogynistic,'" u/GoodGirlsGrace wrote. "His wife is the one whole's being misandrist. Being a SAHW means doing all the household chores. If they have kids, it would be fair for him to help with some things, but they don't have any ... Her giving him the silent treatment lands her in [a**hole] territory.

u/GoodGirlsGrace continued to lambaste the original poster's wife, too. Echoing the sentiments of a handful of commenters, they wrote that u/egyptian_siphon's partner is interested in living in an unreasonable manner and is heaping unreasonable expectations on their husband as a result.

"OP's wife wants a lifestyle that she can't have," u/GoodGirlsGrace wrote. "Chilling and having fun while the sole provider does most of the work."

greazeball posted:

Nobody gets to pick their own nickname, these are the rules.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for asking my ex for her cookie recipe?

quote:

Every year for over a decade, my siblings (F43, M40, M33) and I (M43), have breakfast on Christmas morning. They've always been hosted at my my home (no kids) or my sister's home (2 children, more adults). Every year, as we are organizing the breakfast in the days and weeks leading up to the holiday, we are reminded by the respective host that it is siblings and spouses only; neither children nor parents.

Every year, my youngest brother (2 children, M11 and F8) and his wife either ignore the rule or get upset about the rule and don't show up. This year, when advising of the location— more than a week before— I reminded my brother of the rule. He acted as if he'd never heard of such a request. I do understand that finding a babysitter during the holidays can be though. I suggested he ask our mother or his mother-in-law or anyone else if they could watch the kids for a couple of hours if they aren't busy.

On Christmas Eve, I asked his wife if they were coming. She said they were. Along with my mom and sister and adult nephew (M18), with much of the other family present, including sister-in-law, we had a laugh about how my grandmother did the same with her siblings, not allowing kids, and how my niece and nephew were also excluded from ours. My mother mentioned she had wanted to carry on the tradition, but her siblings didn't care to. My nephew was very accepting of the tradition, both as a minor and still as an "adult."

Last night (Christmas Eve), my brother texted and said if they could not bring the kids, they could not come. Our mother will be out town with her husband's family for the morning, so I again suggested he ask his mother-in-law, as she lives nearby and they are going directly there just two hours after our breakfast start time. He has still not replied and breakfast starts in 45 minutes.

My other siblings and I are saddened that he might not attend, but agree that our brother should respect the fact that this is the one time per year when it is just us.

quote:

Family excluded me from Christmas dinner

I 27f reluctantly decided to drive 7 hours to have dinner with my dad (step dad) and his girlfriend and my sister even though I’m not in the mood for Christmas this year bc I was recently fired from my job and money has been tight this year. I thought maybe seeing family opposed to being alone n isolating myself like I always do would be better. I almost wasn’t going to come but I didn’t want to be alone for the holiday so I scraped together gas money n got in the car and said to myself well let me get on the road and go see them. I would have been perfectly content staying at home by the way. Maybe a little depressed but I would have found a way to make it work. I was beyond tired but let them know when I got on the road and also let them know they’re was traffic along the way. It’s a 7 and a half hour drive. They decided to celebrate on Christmas Eve this year. The drive was hell I was falling asleep at the wheel but pushed through bc I wanted to see them. I get a call when I’m one hour out it’s my sister saying they just decided to eat without me. I lost my poo poo. Broke down crying and wanted to turn around. They couldn’t understand why I was upset. To me them just simply not waiting for me to eat after I did so much to be there with them for dinner was a slap in the face truthfully , it hurt. The 10 year anniversary of my mom passing away just passed and holidays have not been the same without her I really wanted to try to be a real family this year and got my hopes up for that. Them deciding to eat without me and then acting like I was being over dramatic and it’s no big deal hurt. They’ve always made me feel unwelcome in their home or like I’m not apart of what they have going on and this just solidified it. I ended up not going over there at all once I found out they ate without me and went to the bar with my uncle on my moms side instead. They called me apologizing and saying maybe we can have breakfast together to make up for it but I think I will just go back home.

quote:

Okay so all of this happened moments ago. Tomorrow Grandma and I, who live together, are going over to my aunt and uncle's for Christmas. They're making almost everything, but I wanted to contribute so I spoke to them both midday earlier about what I should make before settling on collard greens, then told them I'd be going to the store soon to get ingredients and we said our goodbyes.

I think greens are best on day 2, plus didn't want to be racing against the clock tomorrow, so I made them late tonight. I let the greens sit on the stove for like an hour until they were not too hot to put in the fridge.

My grandma then starts telling me stories about potlucks where people served rancid food and told me she was worried my food was unsafe. I assured her it wasn't out that long.

"Why did you even make it so early?" she asked.

"I think it's better on day two," I replied.

"It's not day two. I saw you make it yesterday."

From further conversation I began to realize that Grandma thinks I made the greens 24 hours ago, and that they've been on the stove unrefrigerated for these 24 hours. I made them RIGHT NOW. The reason her brain generated this is because she's aging and her memory isn't great. It's a good time to mention that she's the most sweet and kind and good natured and wonderful grandma in the world. But I can feel it in my bones that tomorrow she's going to whisper behind my back and tell the family not to eat what I made because I left it sitting out for a day. And her memory issues mean she is not capable of taking feedback.

I know that my relatives will judge me if I "bring drama" by telling them this story the way I've said it here. I also feel sad knowing they're going to think I'm serving them something old and rotten and gross. There's a chance Grandma will say nothing, but IDK. I'm specifically looking for feedback on what to say to the family other than her, because I know she's not to be reasoned with. What do I say to them, if anything?

TL;DR: My grandma arbitrarily misremembers me cooking the Christmas greens a day ago and leaving it out for 24 hours. I actually made it just now and put it in the fridge just now. How do I counter her saying this to the rest of the family, so they don't think I'm a gross weirdo trying to food poison them?

quote:

My partner (27M) and I (26F) have been together for 5 years now. We used to be all over each other when we were younger and now I wonder if we lost that passion. We’d been flirting with each other all day Christmas Eve and making obvious plans to have sex after our busy day. I shower, freshen up and even throw on some decorative items to bring the Christmas spirit to bed with us. Then in the middle of foreplay I see he’s on his phone watching porn. This isn’t abnormal, if anything it’s pretty standard at this point but sometimes it feels like Im laying there like a sex prop and the porn is his main fantasy. It has made me feel insecure and sad for awhile that it’s our “new normal”. I tried to ignore it and just connect with him by looking past the phone at him but he got frustrated at me for “staring” at him. I guess I made things awkward but I didn’t know how to avoid a fight and just express that it’s a turn off to feel that Im an afterthought to him finding the perfect video. I tried to explain this but he got got dressed and we went to bed without talking to each other further. I’m at a loss for what the issue is and how to fix it without becoming detached from the idea of having a passionate romantic love again. Also no d*** for Christmas feels like I’m on the naughty list—and not even the fun one. What are my options to salvage our communication and get him to put the phone down?

Tl;dr: My partner constantly watches porn during foreplay and it’s turning me off/hurting my feelings

quote:

Ok so this is annoying me .please bear with me first time posting and on mobile. By accident I found a package and opened it as I was wrapping the kids gifts. A package had gone missing my husband had orders and had been for my Christmas. Now in that closet I keep a bunch of unopened packages my mum sends to my kids and then open them the day I wrap them. Anyway I open this package and it is obvious it is not for the kids. It’s a self help book 12 rules to whatever .. I’m like what the heck. The guy who wrote it is a phycologist Who is a misogynist right wing nut job. Who my husband likes and kind of falls in line with his own way of thinking. (Yes this is an issue as I’m rather left wing I guess) anyway so I tell him I found this package and accidentally opened it and he loses it saying how his name was on it and it had gone missing. At this point I’m like wait , no no no the only package gone missing was his Xmass gift to me… so THIS was what he thought was a thoughtful gift for Christmas. Basically telling me I’m a poo poo human and I need to change and this book will help. And he can’t understand why I am so pissed and was crying all night and most of the day. Am I wrong? This is not a gift you give on a holiday. This is expensive toilet paper IMO. I’m humiliated and embarrassed and hurt. Like I was so excited that he thought of me in advance and it wasn’t a last minute Walmart gift . I’m so upset. But Am I the rear end in a top hat for not appreciating this thoughtful gift he got me ?

MarcusSA posted:

I'm sure this one got posted here,

Internet Agrees With Husband Who Said His Stay-At-Home Wife Is Responsible For Housework

Yeah staying at home with no kids means you pick up more of the slack if the other person is working full time.

Pookah posted:

Demonstrate being as sad a person online as possible.

(Online people are already categorised as the lamest possible people)

You're already a subset of the stupidest, most intolerably stupid group of people
This has to be a fetish, you crave to be the stupidest person present.

That's a weird, sad fetish.

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin posted:

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA For Refusing Kids at Adult Breakfast

Ethiser posted:

What kind assholes have a kidless Christmas day breakfast?

monkeytennis posted:

You do more, sure but you shouldn’t become responsible for 100% of all chores, management and repairs.

Batterypowered7 posted:

Didn't Paulie Shore give himself his nickname?

ZombieCrew posted:

lovely tradition. Just have sibling day on any of the other non holiday days. Hell, take labor day. No one cares about that one.

greazeball posted:

And where is he now? Dead. Rules are rules.

Chloe Jessica posted:

my dad's nickname was Noot because he spilled a pot of noodles over himself when he was a very young child and over the years it evolved from Noodles through many forms into Noot

B-Rock452 posted:

Any of the ones where it involves a parent asking if they were an rear end in a top hat for standing up for their kids after some relative/stranger calls them a slur or says something just horrible to them I just don't understand why they didn't grab the offender and throw them through a door. Doesn't even have to be an open door. Still gonna go through it face first

The Bramble posted:

My [27M] wife [27F], a PhD biologist, is unvaccinated and hospitalized with COVID-19. Now she won't talk to me about anything besides ivermectin.

EvilJoven posted:

If either my wife or I declared that we were going to stay at home in our little house with no kids you better loving believe the one left earning a wage for 2 is gonna expect to come home and just put their feet up and not do anything back to scratch their rear end and watch TV.

MarcusSA posted:

Yeah the no kids thing seals it. Like there is no house (reasonable) that takes 40 hours a week to keep in order with no kids.

The Bramble posted:

My [27M] wife [27F], a PhD biologist, is unvaccinated and hospitalized with COVID-19. Now she won't talk to me about anything besides ivermectin.

quote:

So this is a bit hefty. My parents kicked me out at 17 and I was taken in by my girlfriend's family. Her dad helped me get my life on track, I went to college, graduated, got a great job all because of him. The man was like God to me. When I married my girlfriend, his wife was pregnant (they had my girlfriend at the age of 19). My FIL and MIL died when I was 28. My wife and I didn't want kids that early into our marriage but we couldn't let her sister Kate just go so we took her in.

Now my wife and I are 48 and Kate is 24 and getting married next year. Her fiancee proposed yesterday and as Christmas gifts she's giving us all our roles. My wife was given the mother of the bride role (but will be called sister of the bridge). Our daughter is the flower girl and our son is the ring bearer (her fiancee is really close to our kids). She asked me to walk her down the aisle.

My FIL loved his daughters more than anything, he said that getting to walk my wife was the best moment in his life. Kate asked me to walk her down the aisle and I agreed but she knew something was off. She asked me why I was hesitant and I admitted that I didn't want to take it from her dad and would rather not do it because it would be wrong but would still do it for her. She flipped and called me an rear end in a top hat for not wanting to do it. She said I should stop clinging to the memory of somebody she can't even remember.

I talked to my wife and she said it also felt wrong to her for Kate to erase her parents with us but I should've kept my mouth shut and just lied. I talked to my cousin and he said I wasn't in the wrong.

Edit:

Since people think I said I'm not doing it. I am doing it. I still will walk her down the aisle, I just feel like the wrong person to do it. Her father was an amazing man and I just don't know it feels like I'm disrespecting him.

Update
I guess you guys can count this as an update since everyone is finally asleep now:

Kate came home to celebrate Christmas and I pulled her aside after dinner so that we can talk. I pointed out to her that I do love her like my daughter and I don't want her thinking any different and that her asking me was the greatest honour of my life. I admitted that I've always felt like I don't match up to her father because I knew him and even though she didn't, it's hard to feel like she missed out on something so much better cause fate was cruel. She gave me a hug and told me her sister and I were the best parents she could ask for. I told her I'd wear her father's watch and mention him in her speech and she said that was all right. Maybe I was a bit dramatic on this whole thing, but things are good between my SIL and me.

Facebook Aunt posted:

"There are about 80 different hospitals she might be in. She won't even tell me where she is"

If he's frantic I don't understand why he wouldn't spend a few hours calling every local hospital. It's real unlikely there are more than a dozen within ground ambulance range. Then he could talk to her nurse and find out how she's doing.

Thundercloud posted:

He's concerned but not that concerned.

Hughlander posted:

AITA for telling my SIL it would be wrong for me to walk her down the aisle

GI_Clutch posted:

Unless I am not comprehending this, I don't get what the dude's problem was. Her father is dead. Either:

• He thought the SIL should give the FIL's ghost an opportunity to appear to be asked to walk her down the aisle
  
• He thought the FIL's ghost would place a curse on him for taking his place
  
• "If your dad can't walk you down the aisle, no one will!" *twists moustache* (sorry, no ghosts)
  

Human Tornada posted:

I had a chronically late friend and it was just another manifestation of his short man syndrome. When people would call him out for it he would just smirk and say "sorry bout 'cha".

Yorkshire Pudding posted:

She replied, “sorry, I just really really hate waiting for other people so I like to show up late so I don’t have to wait for anyone”.

quote:

Hi everyone. On Mobile. Merry Christmas!

First things first, I (24F) have been dating “Kyle” (25M) for two months now. He has started to spend the night.

Kyle never grew up with pets, so my cat has been an “adjustment” to him (his words). My cat “Crumb” (4M) is the most important aspect in my life right now. Like most cat parents, he rules the household. We are very close, since I found him abandoned on the side of the road (as a 3mo old kitten) and nursed him back to health.

Crumb is very docile, but hasn’t shown any affection or really interest in Kyle. I don’t force it. Crumb does as he does.

Lately, Kyle has been complaining about Crumb. I guess he walked into my bathroom to see Crumb rubbing his face against my toothbrush (I have one of the electric ones that stands). He was shocked and told me how disgusting it was. I laughed and said “yeah that’s not great.” He demanded I get a new toothbrush (expensive) and I said no. I just put the toothbrush in a drawer.

Next, Kyle says he doesn’t like my nightly routine with Crumb. I give Crumb a kiss on the head, stomach and then face before he goes to sleep. He sleeps on my bedside table in a cat bed. If I don’t do this routine, he lays on me until I do. I know that’s annoying, but that’s how it has always been and I love doing it.

Well Kyle says I am unhygienic because of this. He says Crumb is dirty (he is inside only and I brush him every day) and even letting him sleep in the bedroom is gross and gets fur everywhere (it doesn’t, but Kyle isn’t even allergic so). I told him that I put the toothbrush away, but he told me that I took it as a joke and didn’t punish Crumb. I tried to explain that you can’t punish cats (nor would I want to in this scenario), but he wouldn’t hear it. He then went on to say that me kissing Crumb is disgusting, especially his face, and he wouldn’t ever kiss me if I kissed Crumb again. He asked me to put Crumb outside the room when he is over, or lock him in a “crate.”

So I said, “okay bye.” Not only is Crumb 10000x more important to me, but I laughed in Kyle’s face about never kissing my cat again/keeping him locked.

This is where I may be the AH. Kyle told me that I was ruining our future and how mean I am for laughing at his concerns. I felt guilty so I asked a group of my friends and they were split. The pet owners laughed, the non-pet owners said I am in the wrong for not making Kyle feel more comfortable. They said that Kyle wasn’t asking me to get rid of Crumb, just compromise with him. They said I was being kinda gross and understand his concerns.

TLDR; Bf doesn’t like me kissing cat. I said it wasn’t going to stop and laughed at him. He and friends call me insensitive and gross.

EDIT: Cat tax! hopefully I did this right

EDIT 2: Woah! I didn’t expect this to blow up at all!! I am reading everything, even if I don’t reply. I asked Kyle if we could talk tomorrow (since we aren’t speaking) and he said yes. I’ll let you know how it goes! ❤️🐈‍⬛ Thank you for all the input!

Chloe Jessica posted:

AITA for refusing to fire my personal trainer per his wife's request?

quote:

I've got some requests for an update so here is a quick one.

First of all, I didn't get to meet Alex this week. The gym manager informed me on Monday that Alex was taking the whole week off after learning he has a stalker. So my reddit Sherlocks were right! She's not his wife. They reassured me they will do everything in their capacity to help Alex and to make sure Ms. Stalker stays banned. I went there twice this week and things are fine so far. Hopefully we'll be able to resume our regular training after the holidays.

I've also talked to my friends who called me disrespectful. They changed their stance once they learned she was a stalker, but I said it's really irrelevant. We had some back and forth, it was hard getting my point through until I asked how they would feel if their partner went to their workplace and harassed their coworkers or clients. Some of them apologized, one got stubborn and said some not so nice things. I ended up cancelling my holiday plan with them so I can have some time and space to think our friendship over.

So that's it. Please know I truly, deeply appreciate all the kind words and support. I was doubting my morals and judgment of character due to the somewhat heated arguments with my friends, but your comments really helped me clear my head. And to my fellow chronic pain patients, my heart goes out to you and hope you get all the help you need. Happy holidays everyone! Love and peace to you all!

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for standing firm on my “lack of hygiene” and choosing cat over bf?