Politoons 2022: I am the Warax, I speak for the MICs

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Politoons 2022: I am the Warax, I speak for the MICs

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Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

They also gave the lady M&Ms somewhat smaller eyelashes

completely unfuckable

# ? Jan 22, 2022 18:07

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 25, 2024 08:41

VitalSigns: Sep 3, 2011

Adams is still extremely not mad about the Garrison cartoon

https://mobile.twitter.com/ScottAdamsSays/status/1483807468601761793?cxt=HHwWgoCjkf_BxZcpAAAA

# ? Jan 22, 2022 18:33

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

I'm not mad don't you put it in the papers that I'm mad.

# ? Jan 22, 2022 18:52

Technowolf: Nov 4, 2009

Pants Donkey posted:

Keep in mind M&Ms intentionally did this to get attention. Their social media has posts like �Oh, did we break the internet �

Love Capitalism. Just absolutely love it.

No, they did it to take the attention off the child slavery lawsuit.

https://twitter.com/von_owie/status/1484249083850145793

https://twitter.com/von_owie/status/1484252001169022980

# ? Jan 22, 2022 19:03

Space Cadet Omoly: Jan 15, 2014; ~Groovy~

Technowolf posted:

No, they did it to take the attention off the child slavery lawsuit.

https://twitter.com/von_owie/status/1484249083850145793

https://twitter.com/von_owie/status/1484252001169022980

....yeah, that certainly seems like the bigger story here

# ? Jan 22, 2022 19:08

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Space Cadet Omoly posted:

....yeah, that certainly seems like the bigger story here

Pretty sure that even without the "makeover," 99% of Americans don't give a poo poo that 99% of their chocolate is made by child slaves.

# ? Jan 22, 2022 19:12

Republicans: Oct 14, 2003; - More money for us

- Fuck you

VitalSigns posted:

Adams is still extremely not mad about the Garrison cartoon

https://mobile.twitter.com/ScottAdamsSays/status/1483807468601761793?cxt=HHwWgoCjkf_BxZcpAAAA

LOL classic dumb guy trying to sound smart move, just throw e=mc2 out there.

# ? Jan 22, 2022 19:55

Apple Pie Hubbub: Feb 14, 2012; Take that, you greedy jerk!

# ? Jan 22, 2022 20:52

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

# ? Jan 22, 2022 21:07

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

everyone: "getting dunked on by ben garrison is about the most embarassing thing i can imagine"

scott dilbertman: "hold my beer:"

VitalSigns posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/ScottAdamsSays/status/1483807468601761793?cxt=HHwWgoCjkf_BxZcpAAAA

# ? Jan 22, 2022 21:27

Nenonen: Oct 22, 2009; Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

Space Cadet Omoly posted:

....yeah, that certainly seems like the bigger story here

The linked article is from February 2021. What kind of decoy is a marketing campaign 11 months after the news?

# ? Jan 22, 2022 21:47

Twelve by Pies: May 4, 2012; Again a very likpatous story

At first I thought this cartoon was dumb but now I think it's great, it's absolutely spot on. A casual observer would look at the situation and think "Oh, they've got Trump cornered," but the dogs are actually unable to reach Trump and can't do anything to him. Trump is completely safe, while all the dogs can do is make a bunch of noise.

# ? Jan 22, 2022 21:58

Cloud Potato: Jan 9, 2011; "I'm... happy!"

Guardian:

"Martin Rowson on Boris Johnson�s position as Europe faces war � Boris Johnson�s political future is riding on Sue Gray�s report, with Tory MPs poised to submit letters of no confidence to Graham Brady"

Telegraph:

Ukraine crisis: Vladimir Putin is sabre-rattling at the West�s moment of maximum weakness

Matt:

Meat Loaf obituary

Independent:

After CM Russell.

Times:

Stephen Collins:

# ? Jan 22, 2022 22:26

Murdstone: Jun 14, 2005; I'm feeling Jimmy

Gruckles posted:

Yes, they look exactly the same except brown has shorter broader heels, green has sneakers, and their limbs are white and slightly-tinted to match their candy shell instead of being Caucasian human flesh tone. The accompanying write-up talking about "representation" was tailor made to get everyone talking about and making dumb jokes about nothing.

IS THIS EVEN AMERICA ANYMORE

# ? Jan 22, 2022 23:22

Somfin: Oct 25, 2010; In my🦚 experience🛠️ the big things🌑 don't teach you anything🤷‍♀️.; Nap Ghost

Cloud Potato posted:

Stephen Collins:

Goddamn nailing it again as always.

# ? Jan 22, 2022 23:38

Tarragon: Sep 30, 2013

Cloud Potato posted:

Telegraph:

Did something happen to Finland that I should know about?

# ? Jan 23, 2022 00:37

Nenonen: Oct 22, 2009; Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

Tarragon posted:

Did something happen to Finland that I should know about?

Fixed:

# ? Jan 23, 2022 01:02

Raised By Birds: May 5, 2013

Tina Garrison posted:

DOWN WITH WHITE CHOCOLATE PRIVILEGE!

The brilliant minds at the Mars Wrigley corporation think making the funny cartoon M&M characters �woke� is the ticket to big sales. People who run corporations are pretty stupid.

The word �inclusion� has become a worship word at most major companies. It�s a virtue-signaling word designed to tell the world that they aren�t bigoted, racist, or any other of the reprehensible things that must be kept alive in order for the virtue signaling to make sense.

That virtue signaling is like a drug. Therefore, to feel even better about themselves, many companies are going �woke.� That means they are embracing ideas such as Marxism and �Black Lives Matter.� That phrase presupposes that at one time black lives didn�t matter, but black lives have always mattered�especially to black people. Still, �Black Lives Matter� isn�t really about that. It�s about Marxism. Black Lives Matter just happens to be a clever marketing buzz phrase designed in order to make sure people can�t resist the Marxist destruction of traditional American culture.

The problem with placing inclusion and wokeism above everything else is we can�t know if those non-whites who get hired are truly qualified or simply a diversity hire. That has to weigh heavily on their minds of those minorities that do get hired. It also weighs heavily on young white people who can�t get hired simply because they are white. As for those who are non-white and truly the most qualified? It must bother them most of all, knowing they are unfairly judged. Corporations have embraced institutional racism and discriminate based on the color of people�s skin.

Inclusion in TV commercials means non-whites are usually given preference, even if it means they are over-represented based on demographics. Black people are featured in over 80% of television commercials even though they make up 14 percent of the population. White males in particular are now under-represented and if they do appear, they�re shown in a pejorative manner.

Nearly everyone loves M&M�s and we remember a time when they were simply candy and not characters. There was a time when people avoided red M&M�s because the food coloring was said to be carcinogenic. That may have been an urban legend. Now the candy is �woke.� Critical Candy Theory dictates that the colored discs are good and white people are to be demonized.

It�s time to avoid M&Ms of all colors.

�Tina

People who run corporations are pretty stupid.
-Tina Garrison

# ? Jan 23, 2022 01:49

Twelve by Pies: May 4, 2012; Again a very likpatous story

Marxism is when the talking candy wears sneakers and the more sneakers they wear the more Marxist it is.

# ? Jan 23, 2022 01:52

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

�Black lives always mattered to black people �

# ? Jan 23, 2022 02:00

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

I love how the essay devolves into boomer rambling about red dye #5 at the end. The television is probably the closest relationship she has at this point.

Oh god, do the Garrisons have children?

# ? Jan 23, 2022 02:19

Heliotrope: Aug 17, 2007; You're fucking subhuman

I AM GRANDO posted:

I love how the essay devolves into boomer rambling about red dye #5 at the end. The television is probably the closest relationship she has at this point.

Oh god, do the Garrisons have children?

Yeah. I believe their son made a cartoon about how great it was that WoW did that thing where a server was ran like the game was in the beginning which is an insult to SJWs...somehow.

# ? Jan 23, 2022 02:35

Pants Donkey: Nov 13, 2011

�These dummies think going woke is a trick to make money, but I�m not stupid,� I say, making a cartoon about the product within 24 hours of the news hitting.

# ? Jan 23, 2022 02:47

Frostyhawk: Jan 21, 2012; Bird Up!

All of these conservatives super mad about the slightly modified M&Ms could get an easy dunk in by pointing out that Mars is also in the midst of a child slavery lawsuit, but they actually like that so instead they just have to say it's Marxist.

# ? Jan 23, 2022 03:36

Angepain: Jul 13, 2012; what keeps happening to my clothes

"Corporations are embracing Marxism", today's item from the long list of right wing scare stories that I wish was actually true

# ? Jan 23, 2022 03:39

Twelve by Pies: May 4, 2012; Again a very likpatous story

As an additional note I'm surprised that her dumb rant about "black lives matter" didn't include an attack on abortion. I thought for sure that was where it was headed. She must not be feeling well after being exposed to the horrible Marxism of a cartoon character wearing different shoes.

# ? Jan 23, 2022 04:29

Murdstone: Jun 14, 2005; I'm feeling Jimmy

Heliotrope posted:

Yeah. I believe their son made a cartoon about how great it was that WoW did that thing where a server was ran like the game was in the beginning which is an insult to SJWs...somehow.

I think it was his "Millennial Nephew."

# ? Jan 23, 2022 05:02

Dr. VooDoo: May 4, 2006

Right wingers really mad about wanting to gently caress candy people :laffo:

# ? Jan 23, 2022 05:20

Raised By Birds: May 5, 2013

Robert Ariail

Clay Bennett

Lisa Benson

Steve Benson

Steve Breen

Tim Campbell

John Deering

Joe Heller

Clay Jones

_*poot*

Gary Markstein

Tom Stiglich

Gary Varvel

Matt Wuerker

Murdstone posted:

I think it was his "Millennial Nephew."

It doesn't look like the relation was specified in the text block, just that it was by the 30 year old "MAGA Millennial" Ian Garrison.

# ? Jan 23, 2022 05:23

Skeleton Mom: Aug 11, 2008

calling the actions of a corporation marxist might be the funniest thing a garrison has posted, and the bar was set pretty high with the scott dilbert thing

# ? Jan 23, 2022 10:22

Space Cadet Omoly: Jan 15, 2014; ~Groovy~

Nenonen posted:

The linked article is from February 2021. What kind of decoy is a marketing campaign 11 months after the news?

Well that's just an even bigger bummer because it means that news story has come and gone and no one cared.

Stultus Maximus posted:

Pretty sure that even without the "makeover," 99% of Americans don't give a poo poo that 99% of their chocolate is made by child slaves.

Turns out you were right.

# ? Jan 23, 2022 10:34

Space Cadet Omoly: Jan 15, 2014; ~Groovy~

Sinfest Sunday! :kstare:

I have a sibling who works in a hospital, so I gotta take a moment to say this: Eat a bowl of rusty nails jackass who writes Sinfest.

Really don't appreciate how Sinfest conflates the horrors of capitalism with trans people having rights, gay people having rights, black people having rights, and just the entire medical field I guess? All medicine is bad now, apparently.

# ? Jan 23, 2022 11:14

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

Apple Pie Hubbub posted:

# ? Jan 23, 2022 11:14

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

I forgot when I said Tats was gonna go full mask-off fascist, but ho boy did he ever.

Raised By Birds posted:

quote:
The problem with placing inclusion and wokeism above everything else is we can�t know if those non-whites who get hired are truly qualified or simply a diversity hire. That has to weigh heavily on their minds of those minorities that do get hired.

i racistly assume that every minority with a job didn't actually deserve the job, and it's really unfair to the minorities that the people giving them jobs force me to be racist, i have no choice in the matter

Also Donald Trump became president purely because he was insanely qualified for the position, bigotry didn't factor into that election in any way whatsoever.

Zulily Zoetrope fucked around with this message at 11:58 on Jan 23, 2022

# ? Jan 23, 2022 11:55

Perestroika: Apr 8, 2010

Space Cadet Omoly posted:

Sinfest Sunday!

Really don't appreciate how Sinfest conflates the horrors of capitalism with trans people having rights, gay people having rights, black people having rights, and just the entire medical field I guess? All medicine is bad now, apparently.

It's also amazing how Ishida went on about "rural conservatives are the true heart and soul of the US" for weeks and then immediately pivots to "gaptoothed idiot rednecks amirite?"

# ? Jan 23, 2022 12:01

SubG: Aug 19, 2004; It's a hard world for little things.

Space Cadet Omoly posted:

Sinfest Sunday!

Sinfest makes me think of this thing from Philip K. Dick's The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch where there's a popular form of entertainment where people take hallucinogens and engage in these sort of ritualised storytelling behaviours with things called "layouts" which are like little dollhouses and action figures and so on. Basically everyone drops acid and then they all play with their dolls in exactly the same way as a way of sharing experiences. This becomes something like a religious cult.

Sinfest feels kinda like that, only Ishida is the only one doing it.

# ? Jan 23, 2022 13:19

cant cook creole bream: Aug 15, 2011; I think Fahrenheit is better for weather

Space Cadet Omoly posted:

That snake obelisk looks metal. I'd be concerned about the structural integrity, especially with the head hanging loose like that, but other than that, it's a clear improvement of a generic landmark.

# ? Jan 23, 2022 14:15