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I was fortunate in that my parents had taken the time to set up a Family Trust back in 2017, which contained all the legalese required for handling end-of-life care, powers of attorney, advance medical directives and more. If you can somehow get him and your mom to set up something like that it will be a great benefit when the time comes. It sounds like it will be a tough one to make happen but I'd work on it if possible.
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Jan 27, 2022 19:06
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sig by Heather Papps!
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Twenty Four posted:My mom and I have been fighting this for years since he has always been in charge of the main finances and it has basically come to an impasse where he doesn't want to give up the details but is losing the ability to do so, but the bad blood that would come around from "here is a lawyer to handle this" would likely be worse then just figuring it out if we outlive him and taking whatever hit that entails. Repeated gentle then slightly more forcible encouragement has never gone far. I've had the "we need to figure this out together" discussion with him dozens of times, even "let's sit down and do this right now, no I am serious" but it's always a initially polite but increasingly stern "Yeah sometime. No, look I said so." probably because he isn't even entirely sure how to figure all of it out anymore. Saving his decade old computer filled with all his information from near death years ago and insisting he back up his stuff and get an upgrade was quickly forgotten once he could still just, I don't know, do whatever he does for half the day on it. I admit I don't back up stuff like I should, but worst case scenario for me is I would lose a few pictures and have to redownload some programs and games, maybe lose some accounts and passwords that can be fixed if I needed or ignored, not leave your family in the dark and financial turmoil. In this situation, at least with my folks, I would get devious. I know a whole bunch of ways I could prevent dad's computer from coming up properly, maybe just as simple as covertly snipping the monitor cable. Once it's been acknowledged that there's a problem I'd need to fix, I would use that as a wedge to get in and at the very least back all the poo poo up. It sounds like a mean thing to do to your dad, but I promise you there are dozens if not hundreds of scam artists trying to do the exact same thing to him. |
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Jan 27, 2022 19:13
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FPzero posted:I was fortunate in that my parents had taken the time to set up a Family Trust back in 2017, which contained all the legalese required for handling end-of-life care, powers of attorney, advance medical directives and more. If you can somehow get him and your mom to set up something like that it will be a great benefit when the time comes. It sounds like it will be a tough one to make happen but I'd work on it if possible. Seconding this. My parents didn't do a family trust, but they did have wills and durable power of attorney for healthcare. My dad also made my sister a joint account holder on their bank accounts, etc. It made dealing with the financial end of things easier when they passed away. I am glad neither of them had significant issues with mental impairment at the end of their lives. They were good people and I still miss them. |
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Jan 27, 2022 19:13
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When my grandfather lost his marbles, he started making really dumb decisions about his finances. His sister did the same thing. My dad was able to step in and stem some of grandpa's losses, but my great aunt's entire life savings was completely gone by the time she died. She was a highly-paid surgeon who'd played the stock market extremely well, and had previously expressed an interest in giving some or all of that to my father. So, like, this is the situation for which "power of attorney" was invented. You might want to speak with your dad's doctor about it. |
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Jan 27, 2022 19:18
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Holy cow Twenty Four, 
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Jan 27, 2022 20:00
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something i've noticed is that horseshoe theory applies to age real well. people on the way out and the way in got a lot more in common than most of us in the middle do. they're closer to the next world than ours and need extra love and patience during that transition. a lot of it is messy and hurts and all you can do is be there for it. pick up as much of the burden as you can carry and hope someone's there to do the same for you when the time comes
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Jan 27, 2022 20:03
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pnac attack posted:something i've noticed is that horseshoe theory applies to age real well. people on the way out and the way in got a lot more in common than most of us in the middle do. they're closer to the next world than ours and need extra love and patience during that transition. a lot of it is messy and hurts and all you can do is be there for it. pick up as much of the burden as you can carry and hope someone's there to do the same for you when the time comes This. And, pnac 
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Jan 27, 2022 20:20
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Thanks again all, for what it's worth, I'm sure there is at least a will and possibly more taken care of, in his right mind dad was always good about this stuff, but knowing "what do we actually have, where, and how to take care of it" is the mystery. To summarize a recent thread and posts, I still don't know how to properly "adult" but this is one of those situations where just faking it might not be enough. Sorry again for all this, love ya friends 
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Jan 27, 2022 20:52
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pnac attack posted:something i've noticed is that horseshoe theory applies to age real well. people on the way out and the way in got a lot more in common than most of us in the middle do. they're closer to the next world than ours and need extra love and patience during that transition. a lot of it is messy and hurts and all you can do is be there for it. pick up as much of the burden as you can carry and hope someone's there to do the same for you when the time comes epically good post
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Jan 27, 2022 20:53
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Heather Papps posted:i am sipping a coffee and eating some apple/peach/quinoa baby food i found in my cupboard and watching this and life, you know, life is pretty okay. If you aren't bored as hell, check this one too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8o1ieehttdA It's my favorite explanation of Kingdom Hearts ever done, the whole thing, in 4m. 98% is true and by the end you won't even been able to tell which 2% was fake. Edit: And this one I forgot, absolutely hilarious, especially the ending https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZ7IxXN9hm0 Saoshyant fucked around with this message at 22:41 on Jan 27, 2022
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Jan 27, 2022 22:31
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Saoshyant posted:If you aren't bored as hell, check this one too: so what i have gathered is that kingdom hearts is about popsicles. they pop up a lot, at least in dunkys vid.
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Jan 27, 2022 22:50
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also the darkness = bees things makes sense to me. IT'S BEEN A COLD WINTER I'M WORRIED ABOUT MY HIVES.
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Jan 27, 2022 22:53
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I... actually laughed at a Sparta joke. https://twitter.com/Yoda4ever/status/1486368648172556292 Everywhere, everyone is red and green |
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Jan 28, 2022 00:39
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FPzero posted:happy evening thread, let me share some music with you This was good stuff, friend. Thanks for sharing.
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Jan 28, 2022 00:43
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FPzero posted:happy evening thread, let me share some music with you this is extremely my poo poo. once this ones done i'm gonna put on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypdnSS0La7s
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Jan 28, 2022 01:01
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 owns |
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Jan 28, 2022 01:44
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Twenty Four posted:
Hey Postin' Pal. Please never apologize for sharing with us.
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Jan 28, 2022 02:27
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After all, a problem shared is a problem doubled! wait . . . that can't be right? Hmmmm.
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Jan 28, 2022 02:32
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FPzero posted:happy evening thread, let me share some music with you this was extremely good thank u |
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Jan 28, 2022 02:49
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sending you much love  and chill and positive vibes friend  so sorry you're all going through that, just know that we're here for you |
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Jan 28, 2022 04:14
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Robot Made of Meat posted:Hey Postin' Pal. Please never apologize for sharing with us. Yeah, agreed, no apology needed, unless you're apologizing for not posting! |
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Jan 28, 2022 04:15
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Heather Papps posted:also the darkness = bees things makes sense to me. and some positive vibes for you and your hives too (these arent' chill ones as it sounds like you have enough already!)
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Jan 28, 2022 04:16
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My orbs, I think tomorrow may be the day when we get to turn on the new heating system. I hope it works! |
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Jan 28, 2022 04:30
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cruft posted:My orbs, I think tomorrow may be the day when we get to turn on the new heating system. I hope it works! ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ |
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Jan 28, 2022 04:55
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i succeeded at both my goals of halo and nap, a good day
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Jan 28, 2022 05:48
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cruft posted:Yeah, agreed, no apology needed, unless you're apologizing for not posting! forgive me cruft, for I have been lurking
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Jan 28, 2022 05:55
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If I were cold I would simply raise my body temperature 
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Jan 28, 2022 06:03
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I was talking to teapot in discord tonight and I coined a term for the infectious happiness this forum causes: byoboplasmosis |
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Jan 28, 2022 08:58
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Thanks again friends, you all mean a lot to me!
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Jan 28, 2022 10:14
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I'm sorry to hear about all that with your parents 24. I don't really have anything to add, but it sounds rough. Hope things work out as best as possible
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Jan 28, 2022 11:21
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 im so happy snow fuckin rules |
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Jan 28, 2022 12:58
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cruft posted:My orbs, I think tomorrow may be the day when we get to turn on the new heating system. I hope it works! Please send a sample of the heat for me to evaluate. I need all I can get!
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Jan 28, 2022 13:38
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what happen to the butts thread?
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Jan 28, 2022 14:49
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pixaal posted:what happen to the butts thread? you're soaking in it 
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Jan 28, 2022 14:52
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shout out to the CD4011BE quad NAND gate on page 4011  a very useful chip
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Jan 28, 2022 14:55
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i slept funny if something and my upper back now hurts with neck movement. this happens to me every once in a while but not usually when I'm asleep. next few days will feel great. oh well |
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Jan 28, 2022 15:14
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FPzero posted:i slept funny if something and my upper back now hurts with neck movement. this happens to me every once in a while but not usually when I'm asleep. i killed my friggin back last night noodling with my synthesizer, i need to sort out my ergonomics so i don't hunch over it in a classic mad scientist pose
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Jan 28, 2022 15:22
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i wonder do cetaceans ever get spine issues? like if a whale does a big jump and lands weird i bet it's "back" gets hosed up but floating around all day must be pretty comfy
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Jan 28, 2022 15:29
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throwing out their hips. the definition of 'vestigial' means nothing to whale pain 
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Jan 28, 2022 15:40
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| # ? May 19, 2024 14:09 |
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Heather Papps posted:i wonder do cetaceans ever get spine issues? like if a whale does a big jump and lands weird i bet it's "back" gets hosed up but floating around all day must be pretty comfy Whales have a lot of cushioning, which is why they can bellyflop with reckless abandon. |
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Jan 28, 2022 15:40
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