Ouhei posted:

I mean, the dad might want more help with stuff like getting them ready for school, regular dinner, etc. He sounds like he's too much of a tight-rear end, but I could see it being frustrating over time if he's always the one that has to do the boring parts of parenting.

She sounds like she's a great presence in their lives based on her post, she's being more of a parent than she thinks, but again, not impossible to see that being frustrating for the dad.

quote:

For this example, let's say 5 kicked 8.

I'd separate them, let 5 go sit in his room until he calms down and check on 8. Once 5 has calmed down, I'd ask him why he did it (not really expecting a straight answer, but encouraging talking is important to me). If he did it because he wanted to be annoying, I might say that he needs time to chill out and he can't have a treat later. If he did it because 8 was being a menace, I'd talk to 8. I'd make 5 apologise (and 8 too depending on the situation) and then tell Mark when he got back.

quote:

Yes. I will 'parent' if I have to (and I have before) but I'm not a total mess. I don't let them run wild, painting on the walls and screaming. It's more like I don't care about messes that can be cleaned, or I will absolutely play the monster that chases you in the park.

His ex has no issue with it, and she parents the same as Mark, so I'm trying to find the difference between the two.

quote:

>>how does that interferes with actual parenting? Like maybe you let them eat junk food, or play too much, or don't tell to pick their litter and so on?

Not a lot. They listen to both Mark and I (who are on the same page about parenting and how to treat kids). If they want to eat junkfood, I ask Mark if it's ok in case they had it last night or he already has dinner sorted, etc. Littering is gross so they best pick it up.

keep punching joe posted:

What happens if you aren't in the HOA or just ignore their rules, are there any tangible consequences?

quote:

Yes. I will 'parent' if I have to (and I have before) but I'm not a total mess. I don't let them run wild, painting on the walls and screaming. It's more like I don't care about messes that can be cleaned, or I will absolutely play the monster that chases you in the park.

His ex has no issue with it, and she parents the same as Mark, so I'm trying to find the difference between the two.

quote:

I have a stepdaughter “Leah” and a bio daughter “Tessa” who are half sisters though they don’t get along at all. My stepdaughter is moving and asked if she could store some things here and her dad said yes.

Leah and Tessa are both getting married which has intensified their dislike. Leah hijacked Tessa’s dress shopping appointment and bought herself a wedding gown, which was among the things she stored at our house. Tessa tried it on which I walked in on and I snapped at her. The dress was $12,000 which I know because I was there and if she damaged it at all o was concerned about how was going to pay.

My husband found out and told Leah. Tessa was mortified to the point of tears and Leah reacted by calling her a “stupid little whore” and telling her to get out of her life forever. I yelled at my husband that he is a terrible father for telling Leah that when he knew how she’d react. Leah cried to her fiancé who then cussed at my husband and called him a deadbeat father and Tessa hasn’t come out of her room.

I’m so upset that he told Leah. I looked the dress over carefully to make sure there was no damage so Leah didn’t need to know and now Tessa is humiliated and Leah is crying. I told him he’s an idiot who hurt both kids and right now I’m not talking to him.

vudan posted:

Still get a chuckle thinking about that housemates assertive power-move-fart after the guy attempted to shame her. Lol.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for my reaction to my husband telling his daughter that our daughter tried on her wedding dress?

El Spamo posted:

As I get older I get more and more comfortable with my lack of desire for a wedding.

Not of being married someday, but of the actual wedding event.

El Spamo posted:

As I get older I get more and more comfortable with my lack of desire for a wedding.

Not of being married someday, but of the actual wedding event.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for my reaction to my husband telling his daughter that our daughter tried on her wedding dress?

El Spamo posted:

As I get older I get more and more comfortable with my lack of desire for a wedding.

Not of being married someday, but of the actual wedding event.

Brawnfire posted:

Breweries are good for all special occasions. I had a brewery baby shower

therobit posted:

Now I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger
But she ain’t messin’ with no broke Seigneur.

DEKH posted:

Homeowner associations have a lot of power and can absolutely ruin you. When you buy real property in an Anglo legal system your property normally comes with covenants, easements and encumbrances: basically rules about what you can and cannot do with your property. Most of these are simple: you have to let your neighbors use your piece of the sidewalk, etc. Before desegregation it was very normal for your house to have a covenant that restricted sale to nonwhite people.

Homeowner associations are like covenants on steroids. They are made by real estate developers when they subdivide land for homes. Each subdivision is encumbered by the rules of the association permanently. HOAs have some benefits: it's a good way to get necessary services like trash paid for when you don't have a government willing to do it. That's not really what they are for though, they exist to protect developers from boom-bust real estate cycles by providing the developer with a very easy way to take back houses from underwater investors.

An HOAs great power is in liens. Don't pay your dues? Lien your house. Don't cut the grass? Lien on your house. Pick up enough of these liens and the HOA can do a force sale on your house. In the past, the theory was if a bunch of institutional investors bought a bunch of houses and then didn't take care of them because of a market collapse, you could take them back from the investors and protect your development. The reality is it gives a great deal of power to wealthy developers and busy bodies to reap great profits when they catch you out of compliance. Combines the worst aspects of municipal governments and capitalism.

The Lone Badger posted:

They fine you until they have enough unpaid fines to seize the house.

Lazy_Liberal posted:

wow thank you for the facts about HOAs. i didn't know most of that before and i hate them even more now.

DEKH posted:

Homeowner associations...

quote:

I have a stepdaughter “Leah” and a bio daughter “Tessa” who are half sisters

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

There are limits though. They generally can't change the rules on people who are already there so they can't just ban this lady's dog and run her out of town.

Parsley posted:

I'm struggling here.

Cythereal posted:

Same mother (OP), different fathers. Tessa was with her from the beginning, custody of Leah went to the man OP is now married to and Leah's custody happened before OP and Leah's father married.

I think that's what's this breaks down to.

ponzicar posted:

Am I missing something? I just assumed it was same father, different mothers. Her husband had a kid from a previous relationship, and they had another one together.

quote:

My boyfriend and I had moved in together. He's a gamer but I never joined him for that, I have a desk job now, and by the end of the day I'm sick of sitting at a computer desk grinding away at something!

So I first saw him play after we moved in together.

And what I heard definitely felt.. bad. He used a lot of really sexist and homophobic insults like saying that other players were bitches, calling stuff gay or the f-slur, making suggestive or agressive sexist comments if there was a girl in the game.

I told him how I felt. And he was trying to say that it was normal guy talk. That this is how guys talk when there aren't women around.

Now, I know what normal guy talk is. Last two places I've worked, I've been the only woman on the team. And I'd go out with coworkers plenty and we'd all often get drunk enough they didn't give two shits if they were talking in front of a "lady". Not to mention all the times I went walking around on the shop floor in full PPE including a respirator with my short hair and no makeup, with guys not even realizing I was a chick. And I know that poo poo isn't normal guy talk.

Hell, even when a guy did say some homophobic or sexist crap at work to me (I'm a bi woman who dresses pretty masculine at work) a lot of the team would tell whoever said it to shut the gently caress up and get the gently caress out if they were gonna be a bitch to me. Like even in a room of all guys who like poo poo talking plenty, being a bigot still didn't fly. Chill guys just don't attack people just cause of their gender or sexuality.

I told my boyfriend all that, saying I know normal guy talk from work and this ain't it. And that he wasn't being "a guy" he was being a bigot.

He said it was, that I just didn't know because guys would be different around me.

I asked him 'what about all the times guys on the shop floor thought I was a dude until I opened my mouth?" And he said he didn't think that happened.

I told him it did and literally all the guys he thought were too "rough around the edges" and total macho douchebags that I have worked with... Were still a poo poo ton more respectful than he was being. And honestly I had more respect for someone who says it like it is... Than how he was acting two faced; acting all progressive and nice and soft-spoken around me and dropping slurs left and right with his friends.

He said he was way more respectful to me than the guys at work ever were and I told him that he wasn't and if he didn't understand that, I was moving out.

He got really defensive and I had my friend come by with her truck that night. I'm renting a room in a friends share house now and I'm not sure if the relationship will survive.

He's getting mad at me saying I overreacted majorly. I'm upset also, I'm saying he needs to fix that poo poo if he wants to repair our relationship.

AITA for moving out?

Soylent Pudding posted:

Gamer is a (relationship) killing word.

AITA for thinking my boyfriend gaming talk wasn't "normal guy talk" and getting in an argument over it so bad I moved out?

quote:

I (21 M) have been working at a bagel shop as a cashier for the past year. A few days ago, we had a pretty bad snowstorm and my area got a foot of snow. When I went to work in the morning, I saw the snow was not yet shoveled in the store front

When I entered the store, my manager told me to take a shovel and go out and shovel all the snow so customers can come in easily. I told him there is no way I’m going out to shovel. He was super pissed that I wasn’t going out.

I told him I was hired for being a cashier, I wasn’t hired to be manual labor as that’s not even in the job description. Sometimes I shovel peoples properties for extra cash, and I told him that the bagel stores property was big enough where I would charge someone $50 to shovel it all, and I’m not going to do that at work for $15 an hour. It’s not worth it to me, and it’s not a position I was hired for so there is no chance I’m doing it.

My manager told me “go home then there’s no point to you being here” so I just clocked out and left, making about $500 after leaving from shoveling peoples properties. My manager texted me after saying what I did was wrong and he expects more from me. AITA for not shoveling the snow?

EDIT: forgot to add that when my manager told me to shovel the snow, I told him he could pay me the market rate for snow shoveling in the area and I’ll do it, but I’m not doing it for minimum wage hourly pay. Obviously, he said no

Hellblazer187 posted:

AITA for telling my boss I’m not going to shovel snow for the store?

Reddit is mostly getting this one right, but there are some scattered YTA comments as well calling OP entitled.

limp_cheese posted:

This reminded me of I think Ted Cruz saying the way to solve the budget crisis in schools is to have the poor children special ed children be the janitorial staff. They would be paid in class credits or the usual bullshit line, "experience".

Hellblazer187 posted:

AITA for telling my boss I’m not going to shovel snow for the store?

Reddit is mostly getting this one right, but there are some scattered YTA comments as well calling OP entitled.

The Maroon Hawk posted:

It seriously warms my heart to see labor finally having the leverage to tell our collective bosses to shovel it

quote:

I (36 year old single female) get asked this question a lot and since it comes from co workers, extended family, friends of friends then responding rudely by saying "non of your darn business sweety" still didn't seem to work (not anymore lol) I try to keep good relationships with those around me for a number of reasons, but this question just pisses me off. especially since the reason for why I'm single is pretty traumatic and so is very personal. they feel sorry for me I can see it because they'd list all my good traits then say it's a shame that no man is willing to 'win' it. WTF?

unfortunately, I get caught off guard a lot by people (especially women) asking this question but since I can't control the fact that they ask (I really wish they'd just leave me the heck alone) I decided to use this method that I came up with very recently.

for example, if a woman asks why I'm still single I'd just tell her "because I still haven't met your husband/boyfriend yet. while acting somewhat slu**ty in the moment. so far it seemed to shut them up. it's kind of passive aggressive, yes. but I just feel some sort of power doing it.

Well, few weeks ago, my sister introduced me to her boyfriend's sister and once she sits down she asks "how old are you? I tell her and she gasps and goes on to ask why are you still single?" I look at her and say "it's because I still haven't met your boyfriend yet" (she has a boyfriend yay her) in the slu*ttiest tone I could muster while also pulling "the duck face" pose. she looks at me in utter shock then puts her coffee down while my sister stares at me like wtf?!?!. conversation gets awkward and minutes later she gets up saying she wasn't feeling well and leaves quietly. my sister blows up at me asking wtf I just said and I start arguing with her about how this woman was a snoop. she told me to get over myself and "act my age" and stop being childish which she assumed is the reason why I'm single and will always be "cause no man wants to be with such a nutjob". her boyfriend said I upset his sister and is expecting apologies from me because of what I said to her.

So, AITA?

Sisal Two-Step posted:

AITA for my response when asked "why are you still single"?

Sisal Two-Step posted:

AITA for my response when asked "why are you still single"?

the Spain Virus posted:

Are there specific parts of the country where HOAs are common, because I've literally never seen one. Enforcement of codes and whatnot here are the purview of the town.

the Spain Virus posted:

Are there specific parts of the country where HOAs are common, because I've literally never seen one. Enforcement of codes and whatnot here are the purview of the town.

the holy poopacy posted: