r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

sullat: Jan 9, 2012

a podcast for cats posted:

Saw this opinion article on Reddit, clicked idly and quickly realised it's has some thread tropes:

Spoiler alert: a NY Times columnist is a terrible person and justifies it in stereotypical ways.

Reminds me of the editorial written by a British politician's wife which basically said "all women want for valentines day is for their husbands who are terrible at sex to leave them alone".

# ? Feb 16, 2022 23:31

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# ? May 29, 2024 01:00

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Uncle Enzo posted:

My thoughts were specific to the exact situation in the post. Yes, the neighbor is a random stranger, but that also means there isn't a history of bad blood like with a bully or lovely mom. That's a huge difference.

The neighbor was coming on psychotically strong and like I said OP is 100% ok to just not talk to her. It also might have worked to lay down some boundaries and insist on taking things slow. "Well Karen I'm flattered but I really don't know you very well yet, what if we got coffee Friday?"

As for why go through the trouble, this is me projecting my life onto OP's: in my experience, the world is a big, cold, uncaring place and finding friends especially as an adult is hard. Other than coming on way too hard it didn't seem the neighbor had really set off red flags? If we voted here (which thank god we don't) I'd vote NTA. But with a different perspective.

There aren't any red flags other than that ginormous red flag where she wants to be friends at gunpoint, and a specific type of friend, and pitches a fit when she doesn't get it, and she hates atheists and is a conservative weirdo, and she wants to mash together both their pets and their kids who are fundamentally incompatible and also do not want to be friends...

I had a bully like this in high school, and the bullying was literally her trying to make me her friend in a similar way to this. We had a positive history! We were friends in fourth grade, then she moved away and then moved back. For a full year in high school, she harassed me constantly every day because she wanted to be total BFFs. Note: I initially was perfectly friendly, even excited that she was back, but that was not enough for her. She kept trying to pick and twist me into the exact friend she wanted until I dreaded every day and hated her guts. She just could not stand the idea that I would not and could not be the person she wanted. And only one of my teachers would do anything but say "Well it's friendship, that can't be that bad, you just need to accept it!

" Ignore that she made that entire year hell for me, ignore that I was actively suicidal and miserable. (that was a point of contention, she told me to smile a WHOLE LOT) She was smiling and presenting her jabs as Friendship, so I should be happy and friendly as well.

Friendship can be an act of aggression! I think your life has made you red-flag-blind in this situation. There are types of coming on too strong that aren't aggressive, and this is not one of them.

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

There's a conversation to be had about what is the appropriate balance between remembering a a dead partner and making room for a new one, and I think the easy answer is "don't be in that relationship if you feel threatened or overshadowed by a person who is literally no longer around," because the alternatives are pressuring your partner to erase a portion of their life, which breeds resentment, or stewing in your own resentment in the hopes that they'll take the hint.

Like it's possible to gracefully suggest moving the shrine from the living room to the child's bedroom or something similarly appropriate, but also this dude wanted to propose on her dead husband's birthday; outside of the severe abuse stories, that's about the most psychotic thing I've seen in this thread.

I've seen those little memorials before, and they are always in a space like a hallway table that'd normally have like flowers or something on them or a living room shelf. I'm gonna object at the child's room being appropriate. What the hell, just going to sleep while looking at a shrine to my dead dad. That'd gently caress me up! And it's a kid, they break things.

a podcast for cats posted:

Saw this opinion article on Reddit, clicked idly and quickly realised it's has some thread tropes:

Spoiler alert: a NY Times columnist is a terrible person and justifies it in stereotypical ways.

Haha wait everybody go to this article and look at the comments. Look at the NYT pick comments... and now look at the reader picks. There's a bit of a war going on there!

# ? Feb 16, 2022 23:43

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

captainOrbital posted:

* One's "love language" can also be one's vulnerability
* My husband's love language is touch
* He's not getting poo poo until all my demands are met
* That's my love language you're not allowed to criticize it
* PS my love language is also lying and manipulation because we're talking about ME here what could be more important

Don't forget
* I deserve to get everything I want because WOMEN'S SUFFERAGE

# ? Feb 16, 2022 23:43

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Midnight Voyager posted:

Haha wait everybody go to this article and look at the comments. Look at the NYT pick comments... and now look at the reader picks. There's a bit of a war going on there!

Absolutely endorsed, holy poo poo.

# ? Feb 16, 2022 23:48

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Midnight Voyager posted:

I've seen those little memorials before, and they are always in a space like a hallway table that'd normally have like flowers or something on them or a living room shelf. I'm gonna object at the child's room being appropriate. What the hell, just going to sleep while looking at a shrine to my dead dad. That'd gently caress me up! And it's a kid, they break things.

Er, yeah, fair point. I was thinking in the context of the kid being a teenager who wanted it there. There's scenarios where it is not at all an appropriate suggestion.

Midnight Voyager posted:

Haha wait everybody go to this article and look at the comments. Look at the NYT pick comments... and now look at the reader picks. There's a bit of a war going on there!

Any samples for those of us blocked from viewing them?

# ? Feb 16, 2022 23:56

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Holy poo poo that NYT article is unhinged. OP's husband should file for divorce and include a print out of that article as an exhibit in the petition.

I wonder, did she have like, a letter to write to her therapist in one folder and a reasonable NYT opinion piece in another folder and actually submit the assignments to the wrong places? And now her therapist is going "OK this is good stuff but I'm not sure why I'm reading about the trucker shortage I thought we wanted to discuss your trauma"

Hellblazer187 fucked around with this message at 00:09 on Feb 17, 2022

# ? Feb 17, 2022 00:00

Doctor Butts: May 21, 2002

That article does a great job of accidentally exposing the duplicitous garbage of the love languages.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 00:34

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Hellblazer187 posted:

Holy poo poo that NYT article is unhinged. OP's husband should file for divorce and include a print out of that article as an exhibit in the petition.

This is what happens to your mind when you get paid six figures to basically just write one blog post a week. It's the same as how rich people in the Victorian era developed all these weird mental illnesses because they knew that their lifestyle was fueled by little children getting crushed in collapsed mine shafts and spinning mules.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 00:43

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Er, yeah, fair point. I was thinking in the context of the kid being a teenager who wanted it there. There's scenarios where it is not at all an appropriate suggestion.

Any samples for those of us blocked from viewing them?

Top NYT Picked Comment:
This was both a fun and a touching article to read, particularly for someone like myself who is familiar with Dr. Chapman's work. While I'm sure the author's OCD is an important contributor to the spousal dynamic she described, to my way of thinking the more telling psychological system at work is the interaction of Lisa and Jackson's attachment styles. Without knowing the parties I can't be sure, but it sounds to me like Lisa has an anxious attachment style while Jackson is secure. If that is correct, then there's a great deal of truth in his statement "My entire life is an act of service to you."

Knowledge of attachment styles and how they interact can be every bit as helpful as knowing your partner's love language. In some situations, it's absolutely vital.

Top Reader Pick:
I was married to someone who read the book. She was not shy about telling me what she needed to feel loved. Since I was deeply in love with her, I tried hard to provide it. It was a moving target. Nothing I did was enough. When I came to the conclusion that the void within her was not going to be filled, at least by me, it was time to move on, after 15 years.

That one was also a Times pick.

Here's the top reader pick that's not also a Times pick:
What is this new trend of publishing an editorial focused on bashing your significant other (typically your husband) in the Times? This is the 2nd or 3rd I've seen in the past few weeks, and each time I felt terrible for the significant other. I'm sure many folks enjoy this kind of over-indulgent navel gazing gibberish, but I wish they could enjoy it in a different publication.

And one more reader pick:
Reading this essay was exhausting. Absolutely exhausting. The expectations she has of her husband, marriage, parenting, and body appear neurotic and manipulative at every turn. The self talk punishing and selfish. I understand the roots and impact of her losses. Seems she has overlooked the language of self-love and healing.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 00:44

Doctor Butts: May 21, 2002

quote:

It's great that this is so honest.

And yet: �My entire life is an act of service to you,� he says. �I have reorganized my desires around your fear.�

Response? None, really.

This is profoundly unrepentant, willful torture of those closest to you. At a bare minimum, it's missing out.

One of the greatest blessings of love is that you would do for another what you won't do for yourself for lack of self-respect, and - Lo! - you find yourself capable.

OCD should be treated. There's zero reason to think or accept that others in your life should suffer to compensate for your unwillingness to be treated.

That comment had it best, I think.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 01:10

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for giving my son's new bike away after the "prank" he pulled on a girl he was friends with?

quote:

So recently I found out my son "Jacob" (15) pulled an incredibly cruel "prank" on one of the girls I'll call "Ashley" that's in his friend group. I know this girl, she's been to our house and even attended Jacob's birthday party a month ago. She seemed incredibly sweet if not a bit shy. So when my oldest son "Mark" (17) came to me and told me Jacob had asked Ashley out on a date as a prank I was stunned.

I of course asked how he could know this, hoping as any mother would that it wasn't true. But Mark showed me the family tablet we all use (but mostly my sons do) and it seems Jacob forgot to log out of his chatting app, discord. I read the long series of messages between Jacob and his friends as they mocked Ashley all through this heartless prank. I was speechless. And that's not even getting into HOW he was talking, like he was some thug and not a 15 year old living in a gated community.

At first I couldn't figure out what to do, or how to proceed. I'll admit that I never once imagined either of my boys would be the type of person to do something like that. But there was no way in hell I was letting this go. So after a day of thought I decided what was going to happen. First things first, he was grounded, for how long I'm not sure. Secondly, I'd gotten Jacob a bike for his birthday but it hadn't arrived until the day previous and I'd planned to give it to him when my parents came to visit since they'd been unable to make his party.

But instead of that I showed him I knew about the "prank" and told him he was grounded, then I made him carry the new bike out of my bedroom closet and to the car before driving to Ashley's house, him crying the whole way. I'd called her parents earlier and explained everything and so once we got there I had him cart it to their front porch and ring the bell. Then in front of me, Ashley, her parents, and God I had him give a sincere apology and gift her the bike. Even I apologized to her, saying I didn't raise my boy this way and what he did was unforgivable. I also called the parents of the other boys who were apart of this little stunt and they all seemed rightfully horrified by their sons' involvement.

I felt I'd handled this all as best as I could, and my friends agreed. Though once my parents found out that I'd made Jacob give his birthday gift away they said what I did went too far. I still feel like what I did was right but having my parents more or less dog pile on me like this actually made me wonder if how I handled it was too extreme? AITA here?

# ? Feb 17, 2022 01:15

Barudak: May 7, 2007

a podcast for cats posted:

Saw this opinion article on Reddit, clicked idly and quickly realised it's has some thread tropes:

Spoiler alert: a NY Times columnist is a terrible person and justifies it in stereotypical ways.

NY Times just out here publishing exhibit A in peoples custody battles

# ? Feb 17, 2022 01:16

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for not doing anything after discovering that my wife deleted my daughter's novel?

quote:

Throwaway for privacy reasons.

I have been married to my wife Hannah (36) for 2 years, She and my daughter Morgan (16) don't have a daughter-mother relationship, To be completely transparent here...they both fight often and just don't get along. Morgan used to spend most of her time at her mom's but now is staying with us for school.

I remember Hannah telling me about a novel Morgan has been writing on her laptop, She admitted to sneaking and looking at it without Morgan's knowledge but she praised her writing style and story telling so I thought that was a positive thing.

Yesterday, I got back home and found Morgan and her mom yelling at Hannah. I asked what was happening and Morgon told me that Hannah deleted her novel, Hannah said that Morgan created a character in the novel using her description and name and making her the villian, not only that but she wrote bad words about her, Mirgan argued that it was just a character and Hannah had no business snooping on her laptop to begin with. Hannah broke down crying after my ex wife thratened her. I just watched the 3 of them fight and did nothing nor said a single word. I stepped out for a minute to get fresh air and moments later, Hannah unloaded on me about how I should've defended her in the argument instead of acting so cowerdly, Morgan and her mom also said that I should've done something when Hannah decided to snoop then delet Morgan's months worth of work. It just became too much with the 3 of them berating me and yelling in my face. Morgan went home with her mom and she was crying and refused to speak to me and Hannah checked into a hotel also refusing to speak to me.

The texts from both sides kept coming in both telling me I should've done something and should've took their side in the argument. I just had to stay out of this one, I was on my feet the entire week working, both mental and physical health are down the drain and I'm tired of them fighting all the time then blaming me for my actions/or lack of. both are expecting me to get involved and do something to fix this but I haven't done anything yet.

Am I the rear end in a top hat for not getting involved?

# ? Feb 17, 2022 01:18

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for not doing anything after discovering that my wife deleted my daughter's novel?

Assssssshooooooooooooole

# ? Feb 17, 2022 01:20

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

lol. "I just want to grill" while your wife abuses your daughter.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 01:29

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Back up your poo poo, people

# ? Feb 17, 2022 01:34

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Midnight Voyager posted:

Friendship can be an act of aggression! I think your life has made you red-flag-blind in this situation. There are types of coming on too strong that aren't aggressive, and this is not one of them.

I had something similar in high school but admittedly not as bad as yours. This guy wouldn't stop teasing and harassing me. I dreaded seeing him and since we played football together we had to interact. You would think just solve it on the field but no, even though he was a grade younger than me we were the same size and it didn't stop. I hated him but since we also shared some similar friends he was also just around sometimes. One day a week before my birthday he came up to me and wanted to talk. He was really hurt that he wasn't invited to my party and he thought we were friends. I laughed in his face and told him I never considered him a friend. That he had been an rear end in a top hat to me for as long as I can remember and we were not friends, so why would I invite him to my party? Turned out he genuinely thought we were friends and that all his teasing was, what he thought to be, good natured. I just told him no we are not friends, never have been, and to leave me alone while I walked away.

Honestly I have to give him props because he left me alone after that and didn't push the matter anymore but I guess some people just HAVE to be friends with someone. Its also not like he didn't have other friends and seemed to be liked, but for whatever reason he thought bullying me was the way to be friends.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 01:37

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for giving my son's new bike away after the "prank" he pulled on a girl he was friends with?

quote:

And that's not even getting into HOW he was talking, like he was some thug and not a 15 year old living in a gated community.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 01:40

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Hughlander posted:

AITA for visiting my late husband�s grave on Valentines Day

Love all these manchildren who try to compete with the dead.

At least he didn't beat her wedding ring with a hammer

# ? Feb 17, 2022 01:45

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for going out to eat alone after my SIL gave her children my food?

quote:

Hey all! First time poster here! I'm 25f. 5 months ago my SIL (husbands sister- 31F) reached out in desperation asking to stay with us temporarily to get out of a horrible living situation with her ex. I desperately wanted to say no but.. I had to think of the kids. So I bit my tongue, said yes and tried so hard to make the best of it. We have a 2 bedroom home after all. It's been a living nightmare. My SIL lost her job 2 months ago so she isnt helping with anything financial whatsoever and doesnt get child support or state help. With that said though, my husband and I are sitting pretty financially so it's truly not a giant burden. Just irritating.

Well.. I had some sort of mental break last month. Started panicking constantly, flipping the gently caress out about the stupidest, smallest things (never ever ever in front of those babies). I make an appointment and I'm diagnosed with BPD. Doctor states it could be entirely situational. So now I'm in therapy and feel like a total basket case. Some days are good, others not so much (still working through what meds work) but when they start to FEEL like they're working something happens and I spiral. Theres just so much noise, so much kids screaming, my house is in shambles despite my SIL cleaning quite often. It's just so much chaos. No time to myself whatsoever. And I'm still trying to bite my tongue because this isnt her fault. It's not her kids fault.

Anyways, yesterday I was feeling nice. Went and bought 3 large pizzas and some soda and some goodies from the store for the kiddos. I bought myself chicken alfredo pasta because pizza gives me heart burn. I set it all on the counter, with my food beside the fridge near the stove away from everything else and tell everyone to go eat and go change out of my work clothes. When I come back in to the kitchen my pasta was sitting in front of the boys and they had it half gone. It was a small size. I didnt even say anything. I just loving left. I was fuming. My name was on the pasta dish. So I just take off. I go to a restaurant by myself and eat as slow as possible cause I dont even want to go home at this point. My husband knows, as I texted him. He apologizes for his sister. Super understanding guy. But when I get home (9pm) SIL corners me and said I've made her feel like an AH because of my failure to communicate what food I had bought for them. The dish had my name on it. It wasnt even from the same place. She says that I looked foolish and made her out to be some bitch. AITA?

ETA: I asked her what kind of pizza her kids liked while I was at the spot ordering it. I assumed she would gather that the pizza was for her kids. The pizza was from Pizza Hut. My food was in a brown bag from Jerry's pasta, with my name on it beside the fridge- no where near the other food.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 01:59

sootikins: May 24, 2008; Did I ever. Remember it as if it were yesterday. Soon as I woke, I went to empty my bowels - my favorite part of the day. Defecatin' to the sunrise - downright glorious.

Did that nyt writer misread being absolutely repellant as a valid love language? Because ew

Beachcomber posted:

Back or side. Left side when my stomach hurts.

The whole thing was weird because my oxygen was back to normal the next day, when the previous morning I woke up with 80% oxygen on the oximeter, which is a bad number.

Well, I'm glad it wasn't the rona

# ? Feb 17, 2022 02:06

8one6: May 20, 2012; When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!

Mx. posted:

AITA for going out to eat alone after my SIL gave her children my food?

Just get out because there's no way the SIL is ever moving out.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 02:09

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Mx. posted:

AITA for going out to eat alone after my SIL gave her children my food?

I'd be mad and maybe go out to eat too, but I've also gotten plenty of food with my name on it just because I was the person to order, so I could see at least a little chance that it wasn't malicious. Mainly because it seems they just plopped all the food down and said to go for it, without taking two seconds to mention any details like a normal person.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 02:09

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Mx. posted:

AITA for going out to eat alone after my SIL gave her children my food?

goddamnit the acronym BPD strikes again. BIPOLAR DISORDER OR BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER?

Oh good, someone else asked in comments, she meant bipolar.

Captain Hygiene posted:

I'd be mad and maybe go out to eat too, but I've also gotten plenty of food with my name on it just because I was the person to order, so I could see at least a little chance that it wasn't malicious. Mainly because it seems they just plopped all the food down and said to go for it, without taking two seconds to mention any details like a normal person.

They put it nowhere near the other food, it was from a different restaurant, and she had asked what the kids wanted... and gotten that. C'mon, man. She's a "normal person" going through a giant mental health crisis.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 02:14

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Oh derp, I skipped a bit of it. I'm feeling too charitable lately I guess

# ? Feb 17, 2022 02:17

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

Also cornering her benefactor about some apparent loss of face instead of apologizing makes me see the SIL in an extremely dim light

# ? Feb 17, 2022 02:22

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

a podcast for cats posted:

Saw this opinion article on Reddit, clicked idly and quickly realised it's has some thread tropes:

Spoiler alert: a NY Times columnist is a terrible person and justifies it in stereotypical ways.

Christmas tree-shaped acid vat.

Mx. posted:

AITA for going out to eat alone after my SIL gave her children my food?

SIL can go in, too.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 02:45

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

At least he didn't beat her wedding ring with a hammer

And his failure only proves why you don't date Sauron's exes

# ? Feb 17, 2022 02:54

Blastedhellscape: Jan 1, 2008

a podcast for cats posted:

Saw this opinion article on Reddit, clicked idly and quickly realised it's has some thread tropes:

Spoiler alert: a NY Times columnist is a terrible person and justifies it in stereotypical ways.

That's a lot of words just to say "I'm lazy and emotionally manipulative."

And the thing with the ski lift. "Yeah, I just make up stupid lies to try and passive-aggressively cajole my husband into agreeing to things. No biggie. By the way, I've heard that a lot of women have been conditioned to avoid making direct statements about their wants and needs. Might be a connection there. But I'm going to keep on with the weird lies and indirect cajoling."

# ? Feb 17, 2022 02:58

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

I hate to see it but if you have a relative that has lost their job, has custody of two kids, and is not receiving any state assistance OR child support OR unemployment checks, you might just ask yourself what causes this situation because she ought to qualify for something. Especially if they are wanting to live with you rent free.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 03:01

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Blastedhellscape posted:

That's a lot of words just to say "I'm lazy and emotionally manipulative."

And the thing with the ski lift. "Yeah, I just make up stupid lies to try and passive-aggressively cajole my husband into agreeing to things. No biggie. By the way, I've heard that a lot of women have been conditioned to avoid making direct statements about their wants and needs. Might be a connection there. But I'm going to keep on with the weird lies and indirect cajoling."

Yeah, I get a lot of "I'm fully self-aware of how broken and toxic my poo poo is, but I'll wield that awareness as an additional passive-aggressive weapon" vibe

# ? Feb 17, 2022 03:08

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

The worst thing about these people is not that they exist, but that a lot of politicians think they're the average middle-class voter.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 03:11

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for giving my oldest daughter an ultimatum because she refuses to help us out?

quote:

Hi!

I have a daughter ( Judy, 36F) and a son (Tim, 29F). Tim has a son(2M) but the son's mother isn't in the picture. Judy works a healthcare professional and as a result that last two years have been insanely hectic for her. She used to live across the town( Tim and his son live with us), closer to the hospital but after we insisted that she come stay with us so that she be helped out by us. After refusing many times, she finally relented.

Here's the problem: she's 36 years and has a boyfriend but not a child. She's respected in her field and has done insanely well for herself but she's an insane workaholic. Nothing else seems to interest her in life except her career, her rabbits and her boyfriend. She does pay rent despite us telling her not to, does chores around the house whenever she's free and is a very clean person. She's a self-proclaimed 'child-free' which doesn't make sense.

She babysits Tim's son but she doesn't do it always. She tells me that she's seen enough babies through her residency and even now, yet they don't seem to excite her. Recently, I and Tim had to go out during an emergency and we ask her to babysit to Tim but she refuses. She tells us that she's finally gotten a nice paid holiday for a couple days and she wants to relax. She even offers to pay for a babysitter but Tim doesn't trust them.

This escalated into a huge fight which led to us missing out on reaching our destination for the issue. At this point, I'm really angry and tell her to either get kids of her own and start a family or babysit Tim's or get out of my house. The next day, she's packed all of her stuff and left the house and her boyfriend's blowing up our phones. He tells me that it was incredibly stupid of me to 'kick' her out of the house when we were the ones who 'begged' her to go stay with her and he was pretty sure that it was for babysitting only. He also says that he's 'disappointed' that I'm not happy with my daughter's career when Tim doesn't even have a stable one, which was a low-blow. He tells us that I should stop taunting her about not having kids because neither of them have time to raise them and they're done explaining.

For the context, Judy's bf has been with her for 15 years, but they haven't ben engaged nor are they taking a break. Judy's bf is a software engineer in a big MNC.

All I asked my daughter to do was help us out.

AITA?

# ? Feb 17, 2022 03:12

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for giving my oldest daughter an ultimatum because she refuses to help us out?

..........
wow

# ? Feb 17, 2022 03:17

Xotl: May 28, 2001; Be seeing you.

Seth Pecksniff posted:

I read an article about this couple whose son did just this. He was really into Eastern Europe and the Donbass conflict and such and one day just up and left and they had no clue where he had gone, until they found out he was in Ukraine. He stopped messaging them one day, and like 2-3 years later an informant tipped off a private investigator that he was stabbed to death in a bar and his body was thrown in a ditch or something

So uh, that's something for this person to look forward to I suppose

EDIT: here's the link, but it's WSJ paywalled: https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-fbi-lost-our-son-11570806358 - I probably misrepresented it because it's been a couple years since I read the article but still

That was really interesting. Thanks for linking it.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 03:18

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for giving my oldest daughter an ultimatum because she refuses to help us out?

it's my way or the highway, buster :clint:

...wait poo poo get back here why did I list the highway as one of the options

# ? Feb 17, 2022 03:20

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Halloween Jack posted:

The worst thing about these people is not that they exist, but that a lot of politicians think they're the average middle-class voter.

Please, she sounds like our nations poor struggling with poverty.

Thinking bout that woman whining she bought too big a house so now she couldn't take fun weekend trips to rome for pasta or just quit her job on a whim and easily cover her bills.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 03:21

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for not putting food and water outside with my dog when he's out for 20 minutes?

quote:

This just happened, a neighbor of mine sent their kid over and let my dog off his runner because "he had no food or water"
I'm furious because I just had to go to the ER yesterday and I need to be on bed rest, instead I had to chase my dog for blocks while trying to gasp for air.

When I finally got him back my neighbor smugly said that I should take better care of him if I don't want him running off like that. I told her that he has scheduled feeding times (I used to have one of those gravity feeders and he would just eat until he's sick and was getting to an unhealthy weight, vet told me to feed him on a schedule) and always has water and snacks available inside. I only ever put him out for 20 minutes and have a timer for it because I'm forgetful and wanted to avoid him being miserable or lonely. I never put him out if the weather is bad, and he usually does have water but he always tips the bowl over.

She told me that the next time she sees him outside she'll do the same thing and call animal control. I admit I lost my temper a bit and told her if she does I'll call the cops and if anything happens to my boy I'll sue her for vet bills or whatever. She said I don't deserve a dog if I won't take care of him. I grabbed my boy and brought him inside. He's now snuggled up under the blankets with me napping. He and his brother are like my babies, I didn't think leaving him out in mild weather without food or water for 20 minutes would be so awful for him, but I love my dogs. I don't want them to be miserable. Am I in the wrong here?

Edit: in case it isn't clear he is mostly an inside dog I only put him out to go to the bathroom

(just for clarity, OP does have a fenced off back yard, neighbour made her soon break in to let their dog loose in the neighbourhood. which is obviously taking better care of him??)

# ? Feb 17, 2022 03:24

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

the holy poopacy posted:

it's my way or the highway, buster

...wait poo poo get back here why did I list the highway as one of the options

She should marry Mr. "you either let your brothers play with your PS5 or sell it, how dare you sell it!"

# ? Feb 17, 2022 03:28

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 01:00

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Mx. posted:

AITA for not putting food and water outside with my dog when he's out for 20 minutes?

(just for clarity, OP does have a fenced off back yard, neighbour made her soon break in to let their dog loose in the neighbourhood. which is obviously taking better care of him??)

maybe I'm just sentimental because my dog is sick but I think I'm starting to come around on the castle doctrine

# ? Feb 17, 2022 03:29

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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