UKMT February 2022 - Khan pulls Dick, Patel miffed

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT February 2022 - Khan pulls Dick, Patel miffed

Trickjaw: Jun 23, 2005; Nadie puede dar lo que no tiene

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

I always really liked this one.
(I seem to remember it was the theme tune for some series I watched fairly recently (last year or so))

There's one I'm trying to get now but I never have the rotting smart phone on with the shazam working when it's on. Need to see if there's a windows app now.

get afirestick and a decent app. Sorry for mangling your name, I'll call you Gladys from here on in.

# ? Feb 26, 2022 01:24

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# ? May 25, 2024 18:57

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

Trickjaw posted:

get afirestick and a decent app. Sorry for mangling your name, I'll call you Gladys from here on in.

That's ok Bert.

I actually need to upgrade my 'smart' phone now. It's Android 5.5 and won't update anymore. I can't even put the Waitrose app :guillotine:

on it to claim my coupons. I have emailed them and said how can I get these without an App - there's two I really do want worth 50p each I have to use by March 2nd. Halva and bog roll.

# ? Feb 26, 2022 01:29

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

https://twitter.com/blackpoolcomedy/status/1496902527039811588

# ? Feb 26, 2022 01:37

Trickjaw: Jun 23, 2005; Nadie puede dar lo que no tiene

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

That's ok Bert.

I actually need to upgrade my 'smart' phone now. It's Android 5.5 and won't update anymore. I can't even put the Waitrose app on it to claim my coupons. I have emailed them and said how can I get these without an App - there's two I really do want worth 50p each I have to use by March 2nd. Halva and bog roll.

I need a new phone because my motger binned mine, Glad.Have you considered a tablet that is alsoa phone?

e: this sounds like a goons sketch now. Not them goons, though.

# ? Feb 26, 2022 01:39

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

Bert posted:

I need a new phone because my motger binned mine, Glad.Have you considered a tablet that is alsoa phone?

e: this sounds like a goons sketch now. Not them goons, though.

I've got a galaxy tab 7.7 which I managed to upgrade to Android 4.4 - it does have a beautiful screen for watching vids on (from an SD card) so I'm not going to let it go unless it dies.

I need a new laptop (and I DO need a new laptop because I do sensible things like megatons of spreadsheets and data stuff on it, a tablet no good for proper work) and this laptop is now 6 and the 'a' is playing up and I have to start booting it 45 mins before I need to use it. But it has a dual English / Arabic keyboard which I will have to give up for a new laptop :negative:

- and no stickers are not any sort of answer because they peel off and gum up the works.

Also need new phone because - what a crying shame - I can't participate in the work whatsapp group :cry:

:even more crying:

# ? Feb 26, 2022 02:00

Private Speech: Mar 30, 2011; I HAVE EVEN MORE WORTHLESS BEANIE BABIES IN MY COLLECTION THAN I HAVE WORTHLESS POSTS IN THE BEANIE BABY THREAD YET I STILL HAVE THE TEMERITY TO CRITICIZE OTHERS' COLLECTIONS

IF YOU SEE ME TALKING ABOUT BEANIE BABIES, PLEASE TELL ME TO

EAT. SHIT.

fuctifino posted:

https://twitter.com/blackpoolcomedy/status/1496902527039811588

What if you're Ukrainian tho.

# ? Feb 26, 2022 02:12

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Trickjaw posted:

I need a new phone because my motger binned mine, Glad.Have you considered a tablet that is alsoa phone?

I mean that sounds very Dom Joly

Edit: re laptop does it have an ssd and maybe a ram upgrade?

feedmegin fucked around with this message at 02:31 on Feb 26, 2022

# ? Feb 26, 2022 02:28

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

feedmegin posted:

I mean that sounds very Dom Joly

Edit: re laptop does it have an ssd and maybe a ram upgrade?

It's an SSHD (500GB) 4GB ram.

This one, though I bought it in Cairo so it might be a slightly different spec.

https://www.lenovo.com/gb/en/laptops/yoga/500-series/Yoga-510-14-Intel/p/88YG5000788

Ed: different subject
Well this is going to be interesting: I've an email from Three saying my monthly charge is going up 4.5% from April. As they've been crediting me �16pm instead of charging me �22pm, they're either going to catch up with me OR start crediting me �16.72 per month. Hm. As long as when they do catch up with me they don't try whipping it all out of the direct debiting account without prior warning and hit me with a bounced DD charge! I'm saving what they should be charging me in a separate savings account.

Jaeluni Asjil fucked around with this message at 03:41 on Feb 26, 2022

# ? Feb 26, 2022 02:57

Trickjaw: Jun 23, 2005; Nadie puede dar lo que no tiene

The clown was right.

# ? Feb 26, 2022 06:32

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

Ed: different subject
Well this is going to be interesting: I've an email from Three saying my monthly charge is going up 4.5% from April. As they've been crediting me £16pm instead of charging me £22pm, they're either going to catch up with me OR start crediting me £16.72 per month. Hm. As long as when they do catch up with me they don't try whipping it all out of the direct debiting account without prior warning and hit me with a bounced DD charge! I'm saving what they should be charging me in a separate savings account.

4.5%? Virgin are whacking mine up ELEVEN percent, the absolute fuckers

And they had the gall to phone me yesterday and beg me to come back on their broadband, a conversation that went like this:

We can give you a better deal!
Oh yeah?
Yeah, what's your current plan?
*details EE plan*
Oh... yeah we can't beat that
*awkward silence*

# ? Feb 26, 2022 07:25

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

They might pay me shite but I am glad that at least I managed to talk my job into a phone contract. I only really use the drat thing for them anyway.

# ? Feb 26, 2022 08:56

serious gaylord: Sep 16, 2007; what.

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

It's an SSHD (500GB) 4GB ram.

This one, though I bought it in Cairo so it might be a slightly different spec.

https://www.lenovo.com/gb/en/laptops/yoga/500-series/Yoga-510-14-Intel/p/88YG5000788

Ed: different subject
Well this is going to be interesting: I've an email from Three saying my monthly charge is going up 4.5% from April. As they've been crediting me �16pm instead of charging me �22pm, they're either going to catch up with me OR start crediting me �16.72 per month. Hm. As long as when they do catch up with me they don't try whipping it all out of the direct debiting account without prior warning and hit me with a bounced DD charge! I'm saving what they should be charging me in a separate savings account.

3 have been giving you money instead of charging you? How long has this been going on for and have you informed them?

# ? Feb 26, 2022 09:16

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

Nice trip down memory lane for you all

https://twitter.com/jrc1921/status/1497488630230786048?s=20&t=uW2l6lClzMqeN9DHTaJalw

2003, what a wonderful time. The dastardly Andy Gilchrist, FBU leader, who FORCED soldiers to cover for striking firefighters instead of preparing for war. As opposed to the government who refused to come to terms with the FBU & decided to put squaddies out there to fight fires instead.

# ? Feb 26, 2022 10:13

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

serious gaylord posted:

3 have been giving you money instead of charging you? How long has this been going on for and have you informed them?

Not yet. They've been crediting my account 4 months now. I haven't taken the money out of it. The reason I haven't notified them is because both my internets (home broadband and mifi) are with them and I do not trust their customer services to not make a complete hash if it and screw up both. This is based on my experience of trying to log in to my accounts WITH customer services online and despite changing email addresses clicking links in emails sent by CS (with them still online) and numerous resets, just impossible.
I need to sort out alternative internet first incase this goes pop. I WFH a lot and need functioning internet!
{Deleted unposted} rant about state of UK customer services not blaming the poor persons who take the flack but not empowered to resolve anything more than have you tried switching it off and on again.{/deleted}

# ? Feb 26, 2022 12:05

HopperUK: Apr 29, 2007; Why would an ambulance be leaving the hospital?

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

4.5%? Virgin are whacking mine up ELEVEN percent, the absolute fuckers

And they had the gall to phone me yesterday and beg me to come back on their broadband, a conversation that went like this:

We can give you a better deal!
Oh yeah?
Yeah, what's your current plan?
*details EE plan*
Oh... yeah we can't beat that
*awkward silence*

Hahaha this happened to me when I switched from O2 to idMobile and posted on twitter about it. The O2 team contacted me all 'is there anything we can do to persuade you to stay?' and I told them I would stay if they could match 12 quid a month for unlimited data, and then they never got back to me again.

# ? Feb 26, 2022 12:22

jiggerypokery: Feb 1, 2012; ...But I could hardly wait six months with a red hot jape like that under me belt.

Finally, sanctions https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2022/feb/25/russia-banned-from-eurovision-after-invasion-of-ukraine

# ? Feb 26, 2022 12:35

smellmycheese: Feb 1, 2016

More gold from Chiles in his OTHER column in The Sun. Seamless segue from smorgasbord to slaughter

# ? Feb 26, 2022 13:56

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

You got one of your croissant crumbs on the paper and I thought it was my croissant crumb on my screen :argh:

# ? Feb 26, 2022 14:19

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

fuctifino posted:

https://twitter.com/blackpoolcomedy/status/1496902527039811588

i keep seeing stuff like this and i worry that the thought I put into mrs norman has brought her into this reality

# ? Feb 26, 2022 14:34

jiggerypokery: Feb 1, 2012; ...But I could hardly wait six months with a red hot jape like that under me belt.

We've gone from champagne socialists to croissant communists.

# ? Feb 26, 2022 14:34

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

crispix posted:

i keep seeing stuff like this and i worry that the thought I put into mrs norman has brought her into this reality

They're making an egregore Norman! I saw them down by the bottle bank all wearing hooded tracksuits and lighting things on fire! Are you just going to sit there reading the horse papers while they summon the occult into our community Norman!

# ? Feb 26, 2022 14:45

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

It's an SSHD (500GB) 4GB ram.

That's not a lot of RAM these days, it's probably worth at least doubling it. 64 bit OS?

# ? Feb 26, 2022 15:05

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

I wonder why the ham brigade are all going after Zarah as a Putin supporter and ignoring actual Putin fifth columnists like Farage and Mogg :thunk:

https://twitter.com/AyoCaesar/status/1497323059434381315

# ? Feb 26, 2022 15:12

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

feedmegin posted:

That's not a lot of RAM these days, it's probably worth at least doubling it. 64 bit OS?

I'll just get a new lappie (and keep this in reserve). As I said the A has stopped working properly and I need to hammer down on it. The space bar's a bit dodgy sometimes too! And I'll get one that can do Windows 11 as I think 10 only has another 3 years to go anyway and also upgrade my Office at the same time. (still use 2010 on this one but I keep watching those 'how do' excel vids on youtube that can do all sorts of whizzbang things 2010 can't!

Insert :saddo-who-watches-excel-videos-on-youtube-with-breakfast-smiley:

Especially rate: Leila Gharani and Chandoo and always chuffed if they reveal some 'secret' only 'excel experts' use and I already do it

I've still got an 21 year old XP machine purely because it has a telephone port on it (just in case 'they' take out the broadbands and only a dialup will work - as per Egyptian revolution! Just enough to get a message out!) but it grinds exceeding slow.

Lenovo doing �100 deal if buy quickly, Lloyds doing 10% up to �80 cashback on Dell again short deadline. Decisions, decisions!

Must remember to check the spec of my work laptop as that whizzes along.

Jaeluni Asjil fucked around with this message at 15:28 on Feb 26, 2022

# ? Feb 26, 2022 15:22

kecske: Feb 28, 2011; it's round, like always

there's a poster in sa mart who does microsoft software licenses for super cheap if you need anything for a new computer. I think its all corporate surplus or something? anyway you can buy stuff like Windows 11 Pro for $20 or the full 2021 office suite for $30

# ? Feb 26, 2022 15:36

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

kecske posted:

there's a poster in sa mart who does microsoft software licenses for super cheap if you need anything for a new computer. I think its all corporate surplus or something? anyway you can buy stuff like Windows 11 Pro for $20 or the full 2021 office suite for $30

I'll check it out! Thanks!

# ? Feb 26, 2022 15:38

Lungboy: Aug 23, 2002; NEED SQUAT FORM HELP

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

I'll just get a new lappie (and keep this in reserve). As I said the A has stopped working properly and I need to hammer down on it. The space bar's a bit dodgy sometimes too! And I'll get one that can do Windows 11 as I think 10 only has another 3 years to go anyway and also upgrade my Office at the same time. (still use 2010 on this one but I keep watching those 'how do' excel vids on youtube that can do all sorts of whizzbang things 2010 can't!

Insert :saddo-who-watches-excel-videos-on-youtube-with-breakfast-smiley:

Especially rate: Leila Gharani and Chandoo and always chuffed if they reveal some 'secret' only 'excel experts' use and I already do it

I've still got an 21 year old XP machine purely because it has a telephone port on it (just in case 'they' take out the broadbands and only a dialup will work - as per Egyptian revolution! Just enough to get a message out!) but it grinds exceeding slow.

Lenovo doing �100 deal if buy quickly, Lloyds doing 10% up to �80 cashback on Dell again short deadline. Decisions, decisions!

Must remember to check the spec of my work laptop as that whizzes along.

Can you recommend some excel vids? My skillz can't pay the billz, so I'd like some quick and easy videos to boost my ability.

# ? Feb 26, 2022 15:58

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

Lungboy posted:

Can you recommend some excel vids? My skillz can't pay the billz, so I'd like some quick and easy videos to boost my ability.

What version of excel do you have access to and what sort of things do you do?

Chandoo has a good channel:

https://www.youtube.com/c/ExcelTutorials

He has an introductory course https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmejDGrsgFyCZ4YC5s8mgdQztj7zt5to5

Some of what he might do depends on what version of Excel you have. Quite a few things can't be done on 2010.

Leila Gharani also has some good excel stuff but so far I'd say it starts at a more advanced level than Chandoo:

https://www.youtube.com/c/LeilaGharani

Jaeluni Asjil fucked around with this message at 16:45 on Feb 26, 2022

# ? Feb 26, 2022 16:37

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

Lungboy posted:

Can you recommend some excel vids? My skillz can't pay the billz, so I'd like some quick and easy videos to boost my ability.

Depending what you need to do, I can help you out bespoke.

# ? Feb 26, 2022 16:50

Lungboy: Aug 23, 2002; NEED SQUAT FORM HELP

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

What version of excel do you have access to and what sort of things do you do?

Chandoo has a good channel:

https://www.youtube.com/c/ExcelTutorials

He has an introductory course https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmejDGrsgFyCZ4YC5s8mgdQztj7zt5to5

Some of what he might do depends on what version of Excel you have. Quite a few things can't be done on 2010.

Leila Gharani also has some good excel stuff but so far I'd say it starts at a more advanced level than Chandoo:

https://www.youtube.com/c/LeilaGharani

Jedit posted:

Depending what you need to do, I can help you out bespoke.

Thanks both. I have various versions available, including the full office 365 suite at work. As to what I do, currently not much but would like to do financial stuff like budgeting, forecasts etc.

# ? Feb 26, 2022 21:12

Only Kindness: Oct 12, 2016

Tories and US Republicans are drowning in dirty Russian money, yet somehow Zarah is Putin's whore. Absolutely deranged.

# ? Feb 26, 2022 21:57

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

Lungboy posted:

Thanks both. I have various versions available, including the full office 365 suite at work. As to what I do, currently not much but would like to do financial stuff like budgeting, forecasts etc.

Leila's has an accounting playlist here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYNTBWBqncU&list=PLmHVyfmcRKywV8Bk6euT02xxtv8YVDkZs

including one on forecasting.

There's a bunch of budgeting and forecasting here

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=excel+budgeting+and+forecasting

# ? Feb 26, 2022 22:22

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

It's like the 1970s all over again.

https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/uk-news/emergency-alert-phone-siren-sound-23226043

quote:

The UK Government is expected to launch a new service of 'Emergency Alerts'.

In an emergency, you will be warned if there�s a danger to life nearby and your phone or tablet will receive an alert with advice about how to stay safe.

How emergency alerts work

In an emergency, mobile phone masts in the surrounding area will broadcast an alert. Every compatible mobile phone or tablet in range of a mast will receive the alert.

The emergency services and the UK government do not need your phone number to send you an alert, you will get alerts based on your current location � not where you live or work, no-one will collect or share data about you, your device or your location when you receive an alert, according to the Government.

You will not get alerts if your device is turned off or in aeroplane mode, and the emergency alerts are free. You do not need to sign up for them or download an app and you can opt out of some emergency alerts, but you are advised to keep them switched on for your own safety.

What happens when you get an emergency alert?

Your phone or tablet may:

-Make a loud siren-like sound, even if it�s set on silent

-Vibrate

-Read out the alert

The sound and vibration will last for about 10 seconds and you are advised to stop what you�re doing and follow the instructions in the alert.

Sometimes an alert will include a phone number or a link to the GOV.UK website for more information.

Reasons you might get an alert

You may get alerts about :

-Severe flooding

-Fires

-Explosions

-Public health emergencies

Emergency alerts will only be sent by the emergency services, Government departments, agencies and public bodies that deal with emergencies.

# ? Feb 26, 2022 22:48

NotJustANumber99: Feb 15, 2012; somehow that last av was even worse than your posting

wales sounds like a goddamn hellhole

# ? Feb 26, 2022 22:50

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

I don't think any of those things would be improved by my phone screaming at me about it.

DID YOU KNOW THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION???

I think the americans have those though, there was that famous one where everyone got a text about how hawaii was about to get hit by a nuclear missile.

# ? Feb 26, 2022 22:50