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The trick is to automate stuff and not tell the boss. Shitpost on the company dime while the computer does all the work.
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Mar 1, 2022 00:55
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Inceltown posted:The trick is to automate stuff and not tell the boss. Shitpost on the company dime while the computer does all the work. And then you get systems like ours where data can't even be pulled manually reliably, let alone enough to automate anything, and bosses shoot down anything tech related so "IT can focus on other issues" (considering how many of our core systems don't even work and haven't changed in the 4 years I've been there, I can't imagine what's even higher priority to work on). I've shown up with completely worked out solutions to problems that have been adding tens to even hundreds of hours a year of extra work, record of testing, everything necessary except the hook into the system that I don't even want to have once it's set up. Nope. Nothing can be updated, ever. And so we get extra bodies to do the extra manual work, like the one I had to teach addition.
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Mar 1, 2022 01:00
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Plan R posted:I remember a moment working for Fred Meyer. Somebody had accidentally run a cart into somebody else's car. So there I am with another guy writing up the report when I hear yelling. There were many downsides but I respected many of my retail bosses a hell of a lot more than corporate bosses. When the 50 year old assistant manager isn't above hauling carts when it's busy and doing so faster than the guys in their early 20s or running the fastest register on the floor without a complaint when we're slammed, I listen to him much more closely as he's earning his pay. Contrast with another drat hour long meeting about how, on second thought, we're going back to that other Agile method of tracking our work.
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Mar 1, 2022 01:23
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Hyrax Attack! posted:There were many downsides but I respected many of my retail bosses a hell of a lot more than corporate bosses. When the 50 year old assistant manager isn't above hauling carts when it's busy and doing so faster than the guys in their early 20s or running the fastest register on the floor without a complaint when we're slammed, I listen to him much more closely as he's earning his pay. Contrast with another drat hour long meeting about how, on second thought, we're going back to that other Agile method of tracking our work. The only reason I'm glad to work support rather than dev is I don't have to deal with Agile, or Scrum Agile, or Agile with Azure or whatever dumb brand of "Maybe we don't have to plan poo poo out" has come down the pipeline lately.
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Mar 1, 2022 01:27
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Lazyfire posted:It's not in "hardware," it isn't part of "telephony," and there's no phones in "accessories." If you search topics related to cell phones or mobile phones or just phones the best match is for the corporate branch, and then everything else is for other areas of the business that I'm not able to get into. Mine's in office services instead of IT for some reason
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Mar 1, 2022 02:31
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I think I successfully convinced our engineering director that Agile works best as the scheduling tool between the daily churn tasks and the minor deliverables they add up to. I'm just trying to be the guy that mashes the l3 for the Scrum master, then they go and keep the team aligned to that using agile. We've got a review in 3 months, this work needs to be done by then, here's your critical path, go.
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Mar 1, 2022 03:25
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Hyrax Attack! posted:Lol that owns. I know little about automation but a few times when I've simplified a task with something like running one report instead of a hundred I've gotten dirty looks from some long term cubicle occupants who watched busywork disappear. Another team had a new hire who was given a task that he easily completed with Excel, and a coworker who would do the same task by drawing lines with a ruler on paper angrily asked him if he was there to put them out of a job. They missed out on a wonderful teachable moment about why you treat management like mushrooms.
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Mar 1, 2022 03:35
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My company unexpectedly ended their very wishwashy we care about all employees on both sides of the Russo Ukranian War with a "we are donating to Ukraine"
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Mar 1, 2022 04:05
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Thomamelas posted:They missed out on a wonderful teachable moment about why you treat management like mushrooms. By...putting them on a pizza?
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Mar 1, 2022 04:28
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Machai posted:By...putting them on a pizza? Keep them in the dark and feed them poo poo. It was meant as joke.
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Mar 1, 2022 04:33
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Barudak posted:My company unexpectedly ended their very wishwashy we care about all employees on both sides of the Russo Ukranian War with a "we are donating to Ukraine" My MegaCorp had a higher up from China who was not at all pro-China but would sometimes send fascinating explanations about their business culture, like reading a report from a factory and notifying the owner that no an American was not misunderstanding how their holidays work and they needed to pay workers the right amount for overtime. Once someone offhandedly suggested our MegaCorp look into sponsoring Shen Yun, the dance performance that has those ads everywhere. She immediately replied that no we absolutely would not be doing that as it would be seen as a hostile gesture towards the Chinese government for no gain. She wasn't condemning the group but explained the background of the organization and why if we continued to want to have hassle free exports that no way we would get involved.
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Mar 1, 2022 05:04
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Hyrax Attack! posted:My MegaCorp had a higher up from China who was not at all pro-China but would sometimes send fascinating explanations about their business culture, like reading a report from a factory and notifying the owner that no an American was not misunderstanding how their holidays work and they needed to pay workers the right amount for overtime. Isn't Shen Yun a weird cult?
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Mar 1, 2022 05:52
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CaptainSarcastic posted:Isn't Shen Yun a weird cult? I mean, all cults are weird
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Mar 1, 2022 06:13
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Barudak posted:I mean, all cults are weird Well, yeah, but Shen Yun is a particularly weird cult. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shen_Yun
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Mar 1, 2022 06:23
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Plan R posted:We didn't get anything for our trouble but my boss took the grocery crew out to Red Mill and beers and we loved him for it! *Scribbling in notebook* Staff happines = assault clients + staff booze. Anything else or is that it? I made a big batch of edible gummies on the weekend. Thread thoughts on bribing staff with drugs to get their timesheets in on time? I'm desperate they're so bad at deadlines I'll try anything.
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Mar 1, 2022 06:42
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Outrail posted:*Scribbling in notebook* Staff happines = assault clients + staff booze. Pursuing that might limit their ability to get their *next* timesheet in on time.
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Mar 1, 2022 08:39
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Atopian posted:Pursuing that might limit their ability to get their *next* timesheet in on time. I'll take my wins where I find them.
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Mar 1, 2022 09:40
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Planning meeting for a thing got pushed backwards repeatedly because of schedule conflicts while review meeting got pushed forward because of the same. Now they're back to back. Productivity!
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Mar 1, 2022 12:49
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If your dudes aren't putting their time in, just say "hey guys, I'm evaluated to the metric of how compliant we are with time keeping practice, it's stupid, I know, but could you help me out by getting your time entered by x pm each day?" Guilt plus acknowledgment that the system is set up stupid can help. Unless they're working regular assignments. If that's the case, lmao why make them fill out a time card that's just 8 hours on the same task every day? I have to explain to some Spanish dudes tomorrow that the risk they took on a new forging house may not pay off, gonna be fun!
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Mar 1, 2022 13:42
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CaptainSarcastic posted:Isn't Shen Yun a weird cult? I don't know much past the wikipedia page but they have ultra aggressive marketing with ads on busses, tv, taped to street lights, and posters in small businesses. Although they've never bothered me personally so they're way ahead of a number of other organized religions. https://twitter.com/gilbertjasono/status/1344138274948976641?lang=en
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Mar 1, 2022 16:17
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Outrail posted:*Scribbling in notebook* Staff happines = assault clients + staff booze. Supply them with gummy bears on a regular schedule for a while. Then, if they miss their deadline, give them the sugar free ones.
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Mar 1, 2022 17:12
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Hyrax Attack! posted:I don't know much past the wikipedia page but they have ultra aggressive marketing with ads on busses, tv, taped to street lights, and posters in small businesses. Although they've never bothered me personally so they're way ahead of a number of other organized religions. They get synergy from 1) being part of a cult and 2) that cult owning the Epoch Times.
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Mar 1, 2022 17:15
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Samuel L. Hacksaw posted:If your dudes aren't putting their time in, just say "hey guys, I'm evaluated to the metric of how compliant we are with time keeping practice, it's stupid, I know, but could you help me out by getting your time entered by x pm each day?" If you have time sheets requirements for salaried (ex. You just can't stop paying them if they gently caress up their time sheet) it's either the manager or owner is a huge dipshit, you're billable so it's required for revenue generation, and/or you're in a huge company that accounts for time in the accounting ledger so you can thank Enron for SOX recommending you personally redundantly enter in 40 hours a week on DumbGenericTimeCode so some dipshit with stock options isn't turning your work hours into HR indirect to make the Widget division look like it's making value out of nothing at all.
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Mar 1, 2022 18:42
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Hyrax Attack! posted:I don't know much past the wikipedia page but they have ultra aggressive marketing with ads on busses, tv, taped to street lights, and posters in small businesses. Although they've never bothered me personally so they're way ahead of a number of other organized religions. Regrettably, Falun Gong is antivaxx
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Mar 1, 2022 18:46
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Samuel L. Hacksaw posted:If your dudes aren't putting their time in, just say "hey guys, I'm evaluated to the metric of how compliant we are with time keeping practice, it's stupid, I know, but could you help me out by getting your time entered by x pm each day?" Our org chart looks like this: Me | Staff So saying the boss is dumb as gently caress and very stupid is correct but already understood by everyone involved.
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Mar 1, 2022 18:54
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4% raise offered in compensation for the bad news that our understaffed team is not getting the new hire that they went to all the effort of conducting multiple interviews for. Oh, and "it's confidential" (that ain't legal, boss). lol. God I wish any of these applications/interviews would work out.
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Mar 1, 2022 19:11
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SkyeAuroline posted:4% raise offered in compensation for the bad news that our understaffed team is not getting the new hire that they went to all the effort of conducting multiple interviews for. Oh, and "it's confidential" (that ain't legal, boss). They're definitely lowballing the compensation and getting rejected
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Mar 1, 2022 19:14
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Shugojin posted:They're definitely lowballing the compensation and getting rejected They are, because I looked up the ad as soon as it was posted and pointed out to the department head that paying $2 under your already underpaid regular staff is not going to get anyone hired any time soon. At which point they revised the upper bound of the ad up one dollar while leaving that as the lower bound.
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Mar 1, 2022 19:28
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Hyrax Attack! posted:Lol that owns. I know little about automation but a few times when I've simplified a task with something like running one report instead of a hundred I've gotten dirty looks from some long term cubicle occupants who watched busywork disappear. Another team had a new hire who was given a task that he easily completed with Excel, and a coworker who would do the same task by drawing lines with a ruler on paper angrily asked him if he was there to put them out of a job. This is just the way things are. My sister did a college internship at ATT in like 2002 and in one day she was able to use one of the programs there more efficiently than some career employees. Her secret? She read the manual 
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Mar 1, 2022 19:36
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Takes No Damage posted:This is just the way things are. My sister did a college internship at ATT in like 2002 and in one day she was able to use one of the programs there more efficiently than some career employees. Her secret? She read the manual Somewhere, a tech writer is vindicated that someone actually read their work
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Mar 1, 2022 19:47
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SkyeAuroline posted:4% raise offered in compensation for the bad news that our understaffed team is not getting the new hire that they went to all the effort of conducting multiple interviews for. Oh, and "it's confidential" (that ain't legal, boss). That's not a raise that's a cost of living increase. Anything less is effectively a pay cut. We got our 3.4% increase approved and the understanding is that this is not a raise this is the bare minimum needed to prevent staffing losses.
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Mar 1, 2022 20:14
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Takes No Damage posted:This is just the way things are. My sister did a college internship at ATT in like 2002 and in one day she was able to use one of the programs there more efficiently than some career employees. Her secret? She read the manual lol that reminds me of all the manuals for daily tasks with the weird back office software i made i had to do screenshots of every step because like there were two different menus named "tasks" or something like that so i'd snip and highlight the right one because unlike the career at the company girl who did them before, i understand when a design is confusing mistakes went down while i was doing this so people were actually reading them!!
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Mar 1, 2022 20:40
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Takes No Damage posted:This is just the way things are. My sister did a college internship at ATT in like 2002 and in one day she was able to use one of the programs there more efficiently than some career employees. Her secret? She read the manual Reading the manual is cheating. 
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Mar 1, 2022 20:41
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Takes No Damage posted:This is just the way things are. My sister did a college internship at ATT in like 2002 and in one day she was able to use one of the programs there more efficiently than some career employees. Her secret? She read the manual Oh for sure, or knowing what keywords to google. Nearly any conceivable request involving Excel has probably been refined and figured out a decade ago. Holy moly, currently sitting through a meeting a manager watching them slowly fill out forms. Learned that they do not know how to spell the name of their own department.
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Mar 1, 2022 21:22
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Outrail posted:That's not a raise that's a cost of living increase. Anything less is effectively a pay cut. Considering 7% inflation it's not even that.
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Mar 1, 2022 21:36
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Hyrax Attack! posted:Oh for sure, or knowing what keywords to google. Nearly any conceivable request involving Excel has probably been refined and figured out a decade ago. At my first job out of college I worked on some software that, among other things, generated reports and let users muck with the data that feeds those reports. A bunch of stuff had names like "quarterly maintenance costs." A coworker managed to copy paste the same typo a bunch of times so I spent years stumbling on places where some rarely seen dialog in one of like six apps would show a message containing "quatterly."
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Mar 1, 2022 21:48
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Hyrax Attack! posted:Oh for sure, or knowing what keywords to google. Nearly any conceivable request involving Excel has probably been refined and figured out a decade ago. if you can figure out how to describe what you want to do in excel, you can find the most efficient formula on the internet
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Mar 1, 2022 21:55
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I wish we could get customers to read documentation. How does process X handle scenario Y? That's documented in the design document that you approved months ago. Here's a copy attached to my reply even though it's already hosted on your internal SharePoint site like all documentation is. Also, this project closed four months ago, you should be emailing the help desk, not the project team. That's not good enough! Where in the document is it mentioned? Give me the page number! I will also continue to email the wrong people for years on end, but throw a fit it someone from your company leaves a single person off on an email chain and call you out on not emailing the appropriate resources because we've been over this before!
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Mar 1, 2022 22:18
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NPR Journalizard posted:A couple of jobs back I got my one and only writeup / official warning ever because if this poo poo. Lol! I feel that is appropriate, but they probably had to write you up and pretend they also did not think it was funny because it is public ridicule. SkyeAuroline posted:And then you get systems like ours where data can't even be pulled manually reliably, let alone enough to automate anything, and bosses shoot down anything tech related so "IT can focus on other issues" (considering how many of our core systems don't even work and haven't changed in the 4 years I've been there, I can't imagine what's even higher priority to work on). God, yes. But then, we have someone else in my group that makes tons of suggestions that are completely non-sensical and make it clear that she can’t absorb the work process or use human empathy to work out reasonable solutions. Unfortunately, I think higher ups get the two of us confused until they actually have conversations with us. I’ve gotten some stupid policies changed. Others, they’ve disregarded, then a month later someone higher up in the company notices they issue and it gets corrected the same freaking way I suggested. It’s really so frustrating. gently caress I hate my life. Bored fucked around with this message at 22:35 on Mar 1, 2022 |
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Mar 1, 2022 22:19
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Blue Footed Booby posted:At my first job out of college I worked on some software that, among other things, generated reports and let users muck with the data that feeds those reports. A bunch of stuff had names like "quarterly maintenance costs." A coworker managed to copy paste the same typo a bunch of times so I spent years stumbling on places where some rarely seen dialog in one of like six apps would show a message containing "quatterly." Oh yeah that can be frustrating. Especially when being lectured by HR about the importance of "HIPPA" compliance, but wondering why they can't find our our resources on "HIPPA". Clearly because my team has failed HR, not because autocorrect can't help them in this situation.
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Mar 1, 2022 22:20
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