Midnight Voyager posted:

Trying to snuggle your 16 year old that you've barely seen for six years like he's still ten is also really just kinda weird. Not just pretending nothing went bad, but pretending even your kid is exactly like he was before everything changed.

Captain Hygiene posted:

I saw that one too, it sucks.

https://twitter.com/KalhanR/status/1491591229318090754

ENJOY

InsertPotPun posted:

it's never the "be a good and kind person challenge" but always "annoy the living poo poo out of someone challenge"

quote:

Throwaway Account

I (30f) am here because the people I'm closet to that I would usually go for advice are a little too close to home and biased towards me to give a neutral perspective. I'm going to give some backstory for context first and if there are more questions I'll try my best to clear things up.

Backstory: I was engaged to my college boyfriend "Mike" (30m) and was really happy. What I wasn't happy about his friendship with childhood friend "David" (30m) the guy was an obnoxious and often rude jerk who likes to play "pranks" on people. It seems like the more inappropriate or the more people tell him to not prank them he'll take it as challenge and either target them more or pretend that he's about to prank them just so he can watch people be anxious over it. I couldn't stand the guy but was willing to tolerate him. When Mike said that David would be his Best Man I was against it and we got into a fight but I relented. During the objections part David spoke up and said that he couldn't let his friend a cheater. He even went as far as to hire someone to be a fake AP. I runaway in tears as David laughed. I barricaded myself in the bathroom bawling my eyes out and refusing to let anyone in. I could hear Mike knocking on the door saying that David confessed to it just being a prank and that he knows I wouldn't cheat. But that didn't make me feel better. I heard my sister and best friend "Jane" (31f) calling out to me and I crawled out and left. I called my parents and grandparents apologizing for the whole scene and told them that the wedding was off and I planned to never speak to him again either.

Fast forward a few months later and Jane confessed that before the wedding she had a one-nightstand with David, was pregnant, and going to keep the baby. She was so remorseful about the situation and after I had my space, I told her that it would be okay and that I'm still her friend. Jane named me as the godmother of her son "Tommy" (7m) and he's a little cutie. He calls me "Auntie" and Mike, who David named as the godfather, "Uncle Mike" and I will say becoming a dad made David a better person. Although, I'm never going to like him and I guess Mike never got over me and David feels super guilty and wants us to get back together but I have refused.

When Tommy's birthday was coming up David tried to use that as an excuse to get me and Mike to talk to each other, but I shut that down. I even opted out last minute with an illness excuse. David sent me a long text about how disappointing I was for not being able to put my past aside for Tommy's benefit and I took exception to that. We went back and forth a little and I told David that Mike and me are over and that he just needs to live with his role in any negative impact that the wedding caused on Mike. David claims he's just trying to fix things between us and that I'm being petty. I thought nothing of it at first but now I'm starting to wonder AITA?

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA For Telling My Ex-Fiancé's Best Friend That He Needs To Live Negative Impact He Played In Ex-Fiancé's Misery?

Uncle Enzo posted:

The story is surprisingly clear compared to whatever the gently caress the title is saying

Combo posted:

My kid is 7 and I'm getting all that stuff in now because I know in a few short years he's going to hate my guts and that's ok.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA For Telling My Ex-Fiancé's Best Friend That He Needs To Live Negative Impact He Played In Ex-Fiancé's Misery?

odiv posted:

You don't have to stay in a relationship or marry someone you don't want, but where was the part where they broke up? Some dick ruins their wedding and then ... ?

quote:

I called my parents and grandparents apologizing for the whole scene and told them that the wedding was off and I planned to never speak to him again either.

odiv posted:

You don't have to stay in a relationship or marry someone you don't want, but where was the part where they broke up? Some dick ruins their wedding and then ... ?

Combo posted:

My kid is 7 and I'm getting all that stuff in now because I know in a few short years he's going to hate my guts and that's ok.

captainOrbital posted:

Our sons (18M and 13M) still say "I love you both" every time they leave our room. Our oldest son used to blow kisses to us individually as he left, but he's stopped doing that in the last few months. I guess he hates us now. It's the luck of the draw.

odiv posted:

You don't have to stay in a relationship or marry someone you don't want, but where was the part where they broke up? Some dick ruins their wedding and then ... ?

quote:

During the objections part

Cthulu Carl posted:

This is loving disgusting.

You mean he HANGED himself...

captainOrbital posted:

which to me sounded like it was in the middle of the wedding ceremony. No Cormac McCarthy this one

quote:

He even went as far as to hire someone to be a fake AP.

captainOrbital posted:

Our sons (18M and 13M) still say "I love you both" every time they leave our room. Our oldest son used to blow kisses to us individually as he left, but he's stopped doing that in the last few months. I guess he hates us now. It's the luck of the draw.

limp_cheese posted:

The whole "if anybody objects to this wedding speak now or forever hold your peace" happens literally seconds after the couple says "I do". He was the best man too se he was standing a few feet away from the couple when he did this. To make it worse

So this dude, right after they said "I do", while up there with the couple, loudly accused her of cheating before an actor he paid for walked down the aisle and loudly proclaimed to be the person she was cheating with.

Its loving bonkers and that her ex is still friends with him is a damning indictment of her ex.

It terms of pranks pulled in this thread this is someone on a whole other level and will be tough to beat.

edgeman83 posted:

My family isn't physically affectionate, so I hugged my mom last when my grandma died in 2010. The time before that was when I was like 8, so 20 years before then? Hell, I don't hug or touch people very often now that I think about it. Handshakes during interviews are basically it. Man my life is sad.

edgeman83 posted:

My family isn't physically affectionate, so I hugged my mom last when my grandma died in 2010. The time before that was when I was like 8, so 20 years before then? Hell, I don't hug or touch people very often now that I think about it. Handshakes during interviews are basically it. Man my life is sad.

Midnight Voyager posted:

I hate touching other people in basically any context. Sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't have hated it if I wasn't forced into it so much by adults when I was a kid. (don't take that the wrong way, I mean having to hug near strangers because they're Family, saying I didn't want to hug people but being pushed to do it anyway)

It's amazing how many ways you can gently caress up a kid re: physical affection!

limp_cheese posted:

I'm the same way for the same reasons. It sucks sometimes because while I know how to comfort someone with physical touch and that the person even wants a hug from me I still feel weird invading their personal space and will be hesitant to do so.

I've had a few friends describe giving me a hug, feeling me back away from them, and that makes them want to hug me harder. They were friends of many years I've hugged many times and I wasn't upset with them for doing that, its just my natural reaction to a hug is "back away".

limp_cheese posted:

So this dude, right after they said "I do", while up there with the couple, loudly accused her of cheating before an actor he paid for walked down the aisle and loudly proclaimed to be the person she was cheating with.

Its loving bonkers and that her ex is still friends with him is a damning indictment of her ex.

Halloween Jack posted:

I want to know about the actor Dave paid to help ruin their wedding. A slimebag, obviously, but how do you even get that gig?

Cthulu Carl posted:

This is loving disgusting.

You mean he HANGED himself...

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA For Telling My Ex-Fiancé's Best Friend That He Needs To Live Negative Impact He Played In Ex-Fiancé's Misery?

quote:

David went through Jane's phone without her knowledge and that's how he got my new number and texted me.

quote:

It was like a light bulb went off when I was crying my eyes out in the bathroom I did not want this to be my life. Honestly, nothing short of Mike banning David from his life permanently would've made me even consider continuing the relationship. He eventually did stop talking to Mike but it was too little too late to me by then. After a while they patched up the friendship.

Cthulu Carl posted:

I have no idea why, but that's like one of the only word misuses that really gets to me.

The past tense is 'hung'... UNLESS you mean someone who was killed by hanging, then it's 'hanged'!

Kurieg posted:

AITA for refusing to go to the hospital to visit my sister?

fish and chips and dip posted:

A loofah is a vegetable, or is that

Combo posted:

I'm pretty sure I've never hugged my dad, and he was around most of my life. I still talk to him but he's a drat vampire and sucks the fun and energy out of everything, so we barely talk.

However, he gave me a blueprint of exactly what not to do as a father, so I'm a pretty great dad to my son. I tell him I love him multiple times a day, let him know how proud I am of him, give him plenty of hugs, spend as much time as possible with him, etc. Funny thing is, my dad and I not being close never really bothered me until I had my own kid. Now that I have my own and see how just effortless it is to be interested, and present, and how much I just want the best for him all the time, made me sit back and wonder why my dad could/would never act that way toward me. I know it's mostly just generation thing, still though.

nonathlon posted:

On one hand, there are some men that have never had to do any cooking at all and so are totally bewildered by it. They have to start somewhere.

On the other hand, so many are engineers, financiers, programmers or into complex videos games or working on cars, things with a lot of detail and focus. If they thought cooking was in anyway important, they'd work it out. Their incompetence is convenient.

(Memories of a guy I knew who would always burn toast, leave food out to spoil, let things boil dry, because it was "all so complicated". He was a cryptographer.)

Trollologist posted:

God this is dark.

Hilarious because I don't see anyway that mom can fix what was broken without having a deep Convo with her kid that clearly never happened.

Midnight Voyager posted:

I hate touching other people in basically any context. Sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't have hated it if I wasn't forced into it so much by adults when I was a kid. (don't take that the wrong way, I mean having to hug near strangers because they're Family, saying I didn't want to hug people but being pushed to do it anyway)

It's amazing how many ways you can gently caress up a kid re: physical affection!

value-brand cereal posted:

A lot of people don't know how to care for themselves regarding personal hygiene. Y'all ever see those tiktoks about white people going 'nooo don't use a loofah that's evil to sea creatures! #peta! just let soapy water flow over your body! It's more #natural and #organic!!' It's that bad.

quote:

Edit for clarity: Neighbor is not actually deaf. I am an insensitive rear end for the phrasing in the title.



I have a new neighbor (Allie) that moved in next to me. We got off on a very rocky start. Allie, in all her wisdom as a brand new 20-something year old townhouse owner, decided to get a puppy as her housewarming gift to herself. Allie leaves her puppy home alone while she goes to work, who has from day one screamed his head off nonstop from the moment she leaves until the moment she returns each day. A note, along with gift basket peace offering was left at her door week 1 which very, very politely introduced myself and brought up the dog barking issue. I also offered to help by letting her dog out a couple times each day. No response.



Days turned into weeks, and still the dog barked. I hadn't managed to corner her yet to speak with her, but left another polite note with my cell number as a contact number if she was interested in speaking, along with some caramel apples from a local shop. She responded via text, apologized for the dog, and slowly the barking got better.



Fast forward to December. Our neighborhood has a bad habit of not picking up dog poo poo. I am in no way nosy, but my bedroom window happens to overlook a green space that is between the back of my townhouse and the townhouses on the next street over. It's a great common area except for the fact that it is always covered in poop. I saw a lady walking a small dog. The dog did his business and then the lady called back the dog, at which point they proceeded to walk away. I grumpily opened up my window and not so politely asked that she go pick up her dog's poo poo, then shut the window and walked away. Not very neighborly. Cue the fact that I'm a shut-in hermit that never goes out and I've never actually seen Allie. Well, that ended up being Allie. 1 grumpy text later, and the neighborly neutrality was shattered. I apologized, acknowledged that I was wrong and never received a response.



We are 2 months past the dog poo poo incident. Our townhouses apparently use the exact same fixtures. No surprise there. Well, the Smoke/CO detectors are reaching their end of life all at the same time and let you know via a set of 5 rapid beeps every minute. Unmistakable and ear-piercingly loud.



Allie's alarm has been doing the 5-beep trill now for 4 days in her basement. I can hear it through the wall that we share. The one that my desk is situated against for work. I am going mad. I cannot possibly fathom HOW anyone can ignore that noise. Due to the previous poop incident, I am confident that she has blocked my number and wants nothing to do with me. I am nonconfrontational, so I bought one of the $40 alarms off of amazon and shipped it to her, with a gift receipt that reads "I would like to bring it to your attention that your basement smoke detector needs replaced. That is what the 5-beep noise is that all of your neighbors can hear. Please replace it."



It was delivered 2 days ago. Beep is still going off. AITA?

killerwhat posted:

My parents are both really self-involved and I was pretty messed up by it. I liked this book which helped me understand how they think and how to deal with them

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C Gibson.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703

It’s really sad that they weren’t given what they needed emotionally by their parents, so they didn’t know what to do with you. Well done for breaking the cycle

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA For Telling My Ex-Fiancé's Best Friend That He Needs To Live Negative Impact He Played In Ex-Fiancé's Misery?

quote:

My gf's best friend is staying with us as she is just visiting from out of town.

I know she has always resented me a bit for whatever reason (I honestly dont know why) but I've learnt to just stay out of her way. When my gf is around we will talk, but I dont think we've ever even had a conversation when she isnt around us.

She's staying for a week and its been relatively fine, literally 0 problems for the first day.

I like to take showers every night after the day is over, which is where the problem began.

Our guest washroom is out of service atm the bathtub works but its dusty as poo poo and no one has touched that thing in who knows how long. We all have to share the master bed's washroom in the mean time.

I was taking a shower, and when I came out she ran in and accused me of using her luffa because it was "wet". I had no words. I didnt even realize it was in there until she made a fuss about it, she smelt the loving luffa and then smelt my body wash and said it smelt the same.

I didnt even know what to say besides "I didnt use it". She said even then it weirded her out that I was showering while her luffa was in there. My gf tried mediating, told her to take out the luffa while I shower even. She told me to use the bath in the broken washroom and I said no because it's dirty as gently caress and I'd have to spend at least an hour to get all the grime out of that thing.

My gf and her bff had a talk in a seperate room and when she came back she just asked me to hold off on showering for a week L M F A O.

Yeah right, I told her bff she can leave if I make her feel so uncomfortable and she did. She left and packed her things.

My gf was mad at me, she said that she was our guest and yes, maybe she was being a bit too much but it was "valid" to be uncomfortable about the luffa situation. She tried calling her friend and she didnt pick up once.

wtf was I supposed to do in that situation, yeah maybe I could have cleaned out the bathtub in the guest washroom but I dont understand why I have to inconvenience myself that much just to make her friend happy. AITA?

Mx. posted:

AITA for telling my gf's friend who is staying at our place that she can leave

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for passively aggressively sending a new smoke detector to my deaf neighbor?