Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for saying sandwich ingredients are hard to procure?

Product placement from Jersey Mike's

Absurd Alhazred posted:

It's a family touchstone for OP's former friend, and it's valuable to her.

This is how that went down, according to OP (bolding mine):

Now, instead of this recipe being associated with this woman's relationship to her family, and the two times a year it was traditionally made, it's just something she's going to run into everywhere OP decides to make it. That's the value that it had, and is now lost, because OP couldn't respect her enough to ask if it was okay to take her recipe (which she knew was secret at the time!).

quote:

My nephew Mike is in his third year of college and is an student on scholarship. My son Jake just flunked out. He was feeling bad because Mike posted his newest scholarship on Instagram. I got on Mike’s Instagram to tell him it’s a proven fact that those who flunk out of college or are C level student are more successful and are billionaires. I was just trying to hype my son up. The hate mail started flowing in. I tried to tell Mike to stop his friends from sending me hateful messages. One family member Mike’s 16 year old sister posted my phone number and now they come to my phone. I was just trying to make my son feel better and I thought it was bad timing on Mike’s end because my son was feeling depressed so I wanted to show him college dropouts did become successful. Even my mom is hating on me saying this is what I get for being an rear end on social media but I didn’t expect for Mike’s friends to come after me for one comment. I have tried explaining to mike what I was doing but him and is sister blocked me and won’t tell their teenager friends to stop harass me.

Hughlander posted:

This whole recipe talk reminds me of the AITA from last week that it’s cultural appropriation to learn a language.

value-brand cereal posted:

It kinda sometimes is though. As I understand it as a nb poc, Tut is a language only for Black people whose ancestors were enslaved in the usa. And honestly, not learning a language is very easy. Just leave Black people alone, lmao, don't be weird about a language their ancestors made because they were enslaved and punished for learning to read. But honestly Black people aren't a hivemind and this isn't, like, a catch all sentiment. Shades of grey.

DoubleNegative posted:

Bear in mind that the OP in that story didn't copy down the recipe furtively while her "friend's" back was turned. She just remembered what went into it after the fact and approximated the rest. And, apparently, within a few iterations had something close enough that she was happy with it. At that point that's the OP's recipe that was inspired by the one she helped make.

Hughlander posted:

Post in point was white people can’t learn Spanish. Somehow neglecting the country of Spain.

Evil Willow posted:

I kept reading "procure" as "pronounce" and was like what the fuuuuuuuuuuck???

Absurd Alhazred posted:

"I don't value it, and capitalism doesn't value it, so how could it be valuable to anyone?" - a person who would have us believe they're not a piece of poo poo.

CaptainViolence posted:

My Secret Family Recipe:

1) tear up some bread (preferably homemade but who gives a poo poo) and put it on the bottom of a casserole dish.
2) mix up a bunch of eggs and some cream of mushroom soup, and pour it over the bread.
3) sear some tiny sausages, then throw them on top.
4) cover with enough shredded cheese to choke a horse. when you think you've added enough cheese, gently caress you add more cheese.

cook it in an oven for a while. if i still love my dead grandma when i wake up tomorrow morning, then you didn't use enough cheese in your version.

CaptainViolence posted:

My Secret Family Recipe:

1) tear up some bread (preferably homemade but who gives a poo poo) and put it on the bottom of a casserole dish.
2) mix up a bunch of eggs and some cream of mushroom soup, and pour it over the bread.
3) sear some tiny sausages, then throw them on top.
4) cover with enough shredded cheese to choke a horse. when you think you've added enough cheese, gently caress you add more cheese.

cook it in an oven for a while. if i still love my dead grandma when i wake up tomorrow morning, then you didn't use enough cheese in your version.

Vim Fuego posted:

capicola 🤌

Batterypowered7 posted:

Secret Family Recipe:

Add a packet of Hidden Valley Ranch powder to your Hidden Valley Ranch bottle to make it more ranchy.

CaptainViolence posted:

My Secret Family Recipe:

1) tear up some bread (preferably homemade but who gives a poo poo) and put it on the bottom of a casserole dish.
2) mix up a bunch of eggs and some cream of mushroom soup, and pour it over the bread.
3) sear some tiny sausages, then throw them on top.
4) cover with enough shredded cheese to choke a horse. when you think you've added enough cheese, gently caress you add more cheese.

cook it in an oven for a while. if i still love my dead grandma when i wake up tomorrow morning, then you didn't use enough cheese in your version.

Party Ape posted:

Just remember that the other friend probably doesn't know that her favourite chicken casserole recipe was brute forced. In an alternate universe, this friend is posting on relationship advice saying "I cooked my family's chicken casserole the other day. The recipe was the last thing my blind and deaf grandmother was able to tap out in morse code with her cane before she was devoured by wolves. My friend who was in the house at the time must have gone through my recipe book and stolen the recipe because I heard she had a dinner party and made my grandmothers special chicken. She won't even apologise to me for violating my privacy let alone stealing my grandmothers cane chicken."

Silly Newbie posted:

How tiny are the sausages? Come on, I have a cooking blog and this is gonna make me rich.

quantumwell posted:

I understand where she's coming from, but as a coach and trainer herself she ought to realize that the trainers
in a gym have to schmooze people to hopefully get another paying customer.

Mx. posted:

I (27f) have a friend, Sam (34f). She sometimes hosts "dinner parties" that are really just our friend group going over to her place to eat.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Now, instead of this recipe being associated with this woman's relationship to her family, and the two times a year it was traditionally made, it's just something she's going to run into everywhere OP decides to make it. That's the value that it had, and is now lost, because OP couldn't respect her enough to ask if it was okay to take her recipe (which she knew was secret at the time!).

Kenshin posted:

So what you're saying is the value here is defined by who doesn't have it. Someone else figuring it out/recreating it diminishes its emotional value to the person who made it.

staticman posted:

This is gonna be some dumb gay goonrant, BUT LET'S HOP ONBOARD MY WILD RIDE ANYWAY~!

Let me get straight to the point:

Raise your hand if you've killed the cop in your head. Good.
Now, raise your hand if you've killed or are killing the colonizer in your head. Many of you are asking "w-what...?", "lol are you serious?", etc. We all know about the entity called "the cop in your head", and it's death is a necessary part of unchaining oneself and others from the prison of Capitalism. There's just one problem, especially if you're pale, there's another entity implanted in you called the Colonizer. This entity's actively driving you to not just hate non-Christian faith, but to destroy it in whatever ways you can. As above, so below, just like fascists use liberal free-speech as a Trojan horse to deliver white supremacist An Orwellmaidenheirazilneworltheylivatrix's Tale, the Colonizer's favorite horse for ecocidal Christendom these days is ~skeptical atheism and loving loving science~. I don't know if you've been paying attention, but scientists are as listened to by the government as Indigenous elders.

There's a reason natives are screaming from the rooftops for y'all to listen to them, cause if you keep ignoring them, you're literally going to continue the colonial cycle, but this time forcing the "superstitious savages" to surrender their ways and adopt the immortal science. That's exactly what the colonizer in your head wants, and why you must kill him.

Not sure what else to say on this, again, sorry if this came out a dumb goon rant, just my observation

Captain Hygiene posted:

Lol, I forget if I mentioned it here before but I spent decades of my life thinking my grandma's pumpkin pie recipe was an old family creation, then one day I asked my mom about it because I couldn't find the recipe card and she was like "oh, just look it up on the Libby's website"

Invisible Clergy posted:

There really aren’t that many different ways to make a chicken casserole. Like the Nestlé toll House cookie recipe, if you compare 100 peoples “secret“ family recipes, most of them are going to be pretty similar. Nice that the trash took itself out, OP'sfriend sounds like a bitch

Crocobile posted:

If she had gone through her friend’s stuff that would be a lovely invasion of privacy. Good thing she didn’t though! She just had an approximate idea of what went into an extremely basic bitch casserole (because she was “consensually” helping out in the kitchen at the time) and was able to make a similarish chicken casserole for…her own sister if I remember the post correctly?

Absurd Alhazred posted:

No, in fact a lot of cultures take recipes very seriously. Thinking that this, like other traditional knowledge, is worthless and that there's no legitimate concern with you just picking it up from someone without permission and spreading it around is way more in line with the white American immersion in cultureless, traditionless consumer capitalism.

The main thing all of you are missing is consent. She didn't give OP consent to take her recipe. OP didn't ask.

quote:

My husband (28M) and I (25F) have been together for 2 years, married for one year. Our one year of dating was amazing, we really loved each other (I thought) and he really seemed into me. We would often cook together (well, I cooked and he kept me company, but I enjoyed it) and frequently went out. He would compliment me, leave me love notes, and even wrote me a love poem. When he proposed, I thought it was too soon but he convinced me how there was no one he ever wants to date again; I was the love of his life and so I said yes!

Right after the wedding things started to change. He no longer kept me company when I cooked, but instead close himself off in our bedroom and play video games. He also stopped complimenting me and stopped helping with house work. I thought perhaps it was work stress and so just let him be and figured things would return to normal soon. He also started to contribute less and less to our bills. Since I made a little over $5,000 more than him I saw no problem taking on a larger share of the bills (after COVID I got a nice raise and now pay most of the bills).

None of those things were an issue for me, but now this happened:

Once a week I do a romantic dinner for my husband (candles, wine, fancy home-cooked meal, etc.) and this Saturday I did just that. My husband came to eat and he seemed like something was really bugging him. I poured him wine and figured after he relaxes a bit he'll tell me. He drank his glass and while I was serving the rack of lamb he said, without looking at me, "I'm very disappointed in you".

I stare at him and he continued, "If I knew what it would be like I never would have married you."

I was shocked into silence so he kept going, "I could do so much better than you."

At this point I started drinking too; it really helped. So I asked him how he envisioned our marriage, and he said "When I asked you to marry me I thought you'd be making a lot more money by now".

I am still trying to process this since Saturday and haven't told any of my friends/family. I think they would tell me to divorce, but I'm not sure if he really means it. Could this be depression talking or did I marry a user? The way I see it is that he really has nothing to complain about (not even about sex since when we got married I promised him a BJ whenever he asked and I deliver on that promise each time he asks which is almost nightly).

He hasn't mentioned anything about it since Saturday night and I haven't brought it up since then because I'm not sure how to start this conversation yet, we just awkwardly pretend nothing happened.

TLDR; Husband had a few glasses of wine and told me he's disappointed in me because he thought I should be making more money. He said he can do a lot better than me.

CaptainViolence posted:

Bruceski posted:

Oh hey, this reminds me that Passover is coming up next month and I want to make some existential mandelbreit.

See, that word means "almond bread", I'm allergic to nuts and it's a Passover recipe so no leaven. So it's almond bread without almonds or bread. The recipe goes back to seders at my grandparents.