r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Switch the names and name the baby Jessie Helena :shrug:

# ? Mar 18, 2022 03:36

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# ? May 30, 2024 20:51

artsy fartsy: May 10, 2014; You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

Boyfriend is horrible at initiating sex

quote:

My boyfriend (19M) and I (19F) have been together for almost a year and a half. He’s my first sexually and I’m his first serious relationship. However, he absolutely sucks at initiating anything. He just blatantly walks up to me and says in a whiny high pitch voice ‘can we have sex tonight’ in the middle of the day. He only ever kisses or is affectionate towards me to try and get sexual favors out of it. I’ve told him countless times that I hate it when he does that, but he persists. It’s to the point where we fight because he feels like I don’t love him anymore because we haven’t had sex in over a month. At this point, I only ever do it to make him leave me alone. How do I get through to him that this isn’t working?

TLDR: boyfriend is horrible at trying to initiate sex and it’s destroyed our relationship.

Lol

# ? Mar 18, 2022 03:39

Nebrilos: Oct 9, 2012

Fork of Unknown Origins posted:

There�s actually several similar to that but I think you mean this one:

That was the one, thank you.

# ? Mar 18, 2022 03:43

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

artsy fartsy posted:

Boyfriend is horrible at initiating sex

Lol

Someone tell this poor young woman that it's OK to break up with someone

# ? Mar 18, 2022 03:48

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Mr. Lobe posted:

Someone tell this poor young woman that it's OK to break up with someone

She can fix him!!11

# ? Mar 18, 2022 03:48

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Mr. Lobe posted:

Someone tell this poor young woman that it's OK to break up with someone

He might take her to relationship court if she doesn�t have a good enough reason.

# ? Mar 18, 2022 04:05

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for not letting my baby daddy's fianc� name our baby?

quote:

My baby daddy Jasper (25M) and I(27F) had a ONS, I'm currently 24 weeks pregnant. There was no cheating, but that's not important for the story.

Jasper's fianc�, Maddy (23F) lost their first child a year a year ago, I can't imagine going trough child-loss and I've been trying to be accommodating to her, but I've set a few rules:

She can't treat me as a surrogate because I'm not. This is Jasper and I's kid. She'll be the STEP-MOM, not the ADOPTIVE-MOM.

She can't be in the delivery room, I'm only allowed to have two people there and I chose to had Jasper and my mom. She argued and she really tried to push it, she wanted me to haver her a Jasper, I said no. She wanted me to have her and my mom then, I said no. I was clear that even if Jasper wasn't in the room with me, she wouldn't be allowed either way because I'm not comfortable.

She can't take big decisions for our kid on her own, she can suggest and she can ask. But she can't take them unless is an emergency.

Aside from that, we're all aware that this situation is not common and we will have to learn along the way, a few days ago we three went out to have dinner and Jasper asked if I had given any thought into our kids name, I said yes and gave him a list, I told them they can add some names to it and then we three could discuss them and chose one, Maddy told me she wanted to give them her dad's name as a middle name since it was special to her, Ill be honest, I don't like the idea because a family name (and a father's one) seems very personal, also I didn't liked it that she behaved like the decision was set since that's not our deal. Jasper didn't seemed that fond of the idea either so I told her that, while we could consider it and think about it, I wasn't sure. Maddy got quite pissy and said that it wasn't fair that she wasn't allow to have or say anything without passing it through the ''mom police'' because this was her child too. She can't be in the delivery room, she won't gave birth to them or have any legal rights and the least I could do is let her have the middle name.

Jasper tried to argue with her but Maddy refused, took her things and left us there. We stayed back for a while and he apologized for her before taking me back to my house. My mom says that she understands Maddy's pov, I'm having a child with her man after losing her own baby and she's not allowed to do anything without me or Jasper saying yes first and that maybe I should let her have it since middle's name doesn't matter anymore. I still don't entertain the idea but I want to ask anyway. I'll be happy to give more INFO if someone need it.

ETA: for come clarification we had a threesome and I got pregnant

# ? Mar 18, 2022 04:19

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Absurd Alhazred posted:

She can fix him!!11

While obviously he sucks she�s kinda telling on herself because who would stay in a relationship with terrible sex at 19?!?!

# ? Mar 18, 2022 04:21

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Mx. posted:

ETA: for come clarification we had a threesome and I got pregnant

Both a twist I did not expect and an all-timer typo

# ? Mar 18, 2022 04:23

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

I even said "I want your baby" to the girl loving my fiance

# ? Mar 18, 2022 04:25

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Mx. posted:

AITA for not letting my baby daddy's fianc� name our baby?

Just wtf.

# ? Mar 18, 2022 04:26

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Mx. posted:

AITA for not letting my baby daddy's fianc� name our baby?

This bitch gonna end up in a Lifetime movie with her stomach carved out.

AITA for not wanting to attend birthday parties for nieces and nephews?

quote:

My wife (24F) and I (27F) are CF and both pretty introverted. My siblings are quite a bit older than me with 7 kids between the two of them.

We�ve never been all that close to them. We drifted apart more during and after Covid. During all of that we didn�t attend any family gatherings (because I�m immunocompromised) and they�re all Republicans who think Covid is a hoax. They didn�t wear masks or social distance and weren�t careful at all. Didn�t want to risk it. Yes, almost all of them did end up getting Covid, more than once. Anyway, us not attending led to my mom guilting me every time and receiving passive aggressiveness from my siblings for months afterward. Several times my sister literally blew up my phone tying to argue with me and guilt me about it. Since they treated me that way, we really honestly just dislike them completely now. We basically just tolerate them because we have to. We don�t talk to them about anything personal. We�re basically acquaintances. We show up at parties to prevent all the bull poo poo that follows if we don�t go, but we actually barely talk to them at said parties. My wife recently made me aware that they�ve always kind of treated me like poo poo, she just didn�t know if she should say anything, but then had to because it was getting ridiculous.

Also, my brother and his wife have zero class and don�t know how to parent properly. Their kids have zero manners and are so naughty. They�re brats and it just annoys me being around them. They don�t say please or thank you ever. We didn�t attend the last party celebrating 3 of their kids brithdays, only because it was on our anniversary, so we sent each kid a nice card with cash. Never even got a thank you text. Nothing. It�s typical from them.

My sisters kids are angels and very polite, it�s my sister that pisses me off. She�s combative and likes to argue when she drinks too much, which is often. When i see she messages me at 2am on Facebook I already know she�s trying to start a fight about something. I think she�s honestly a narcissist. Always manipulating and guilting. They throw parties �for their kids� and invite all of their own adults friends and their kids, in addition to the childrens actual friends. Like 100+ people at a park for a 6 year olds birthday. Just rubs me the wrong way.

I feel like they throw these parties 1. Basically just for themselves, to party with their friends and 2. To get as many free gifts as possible for their children.

It�s not the kids fault and I wouldn�t want them to miss out because of their parents but it also gets really old buying gifts for 7 kids each year and all the birthdays we have to go to when we don�t even have children and would rather spend our money on other things.

Are we the assholes for not wanting to go to their parties and be around them? Can we stop going and buying gifts? What should we do?

# ? Mar 18, 2022 04:31

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for not wanting to attend birthday parties for nieces and nephews?

No, the Family Police will come over and escort you to your relatives` birthdays.

# ? Mar 18, 2022 04:33

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Absurd Alhazred posted:

I even said "I want your baby" to the girl loving my fiance

lmao

# ? Mar 18, 2022 04:39

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Neito posted:

Two things got thrown out of that house, and one was deserved, and it sure as hell wasn't the snake.

You give $thing_not_me too much attention, for most values of $thing_not_me, is usually indicitive of someone who is or is on the verge of becoming abusive, imo.

Animals are not things. Acid vat, etc.

I cannot think of a single exception to this "one character becomes jealous of hobby, destroys hobby" thing. They are always the villain. The closest I can get is the illegal Iranian yogurt post but I don't think the OP in that even thought about throwing out her bf's rotting illegal yogurt collection that took up the entire house. And again, famously, that was not about the yogurt.

My favorite example where OP merely complained about her better half's innocuous hobby, but didn't get to the point of destroying all her bf's stuff was the Japanese mud ball post where everyone here and on reddit got to learn about the art of mud ball polishing and unanimously sided against her.

Uncle Enzo posted:

I don't think it was posted in this thread, but one of my favorite relationships stories was about cucking. Like, this dude really liked being cuckolded (and presumably his wife was amenable) so for years they'd had a friend come over and gently caress the wife while hubby watches.

Apparently everyone gets off to this just fine until one day the "bull" is like "Hey, about you gently caress her and I get a turn watching?"

Mr. Cuck was scandalized. gently caress my own wife? Gross!

Lol

I don't remember this post either. If you find it, please post it, it sounds funny.

Fork of Unknown Origins posted:

That just reeks of a gross �you two are here to entertain ME, why would I perform for YOU!?� mindset.

A cuck being gross about sex? Weird!

artsy fartsy posted:

Boyfriend is horrible at initiating sex

Lol

This reminds me of a different post where OP's bf has been doing like the "tendies" "choccy miwk" "good boy points" style of speech indefinitely for months, in private to refer to sexual things ("will you touch my pee pee?") in public when they go out to double dates ("I hope they have chicky tendies!") and has recently escalated to throwing tantrums in the grocery store like a baby ("Waaa! Me want choccy ice cweam!") and she was at her wit's end (but obviously was too much of a doormat to just leave him. He revealed that his friend dared him to act like this for a year or something and he had to adhere to it or violate bro code. Does anyone have this post? It was very good and I'm having trouble finding it.

# ? Mar 18, 2022 04:51

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

therobit posted:

He might take her to relationship court if she doesn�t have a good enough reason.

When I act as lawyer for OP, he'll whither under my line of questioning to establish come clarification.

# ? Mar 18, 2022 04:58

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

AITA for being "ungrateful" and returning the phone my husband gifted my 16yo son because he used his face as a lock?

quote:

I (F35) have been with my husband (M37) for total of 3 yrs, got married months ago. I have a 16yrso son from my former marriage.

My son took his time to get used to being around my husband, understandable, but my husband would rush things and then claim my son is shutting him out or not giving him a chance. As you know teenage years can be hard to navigate and I already explained to my husband why my son might not find it easy to open up about everything. Nonetheless they have a stable relationship.

My son broke his old phone a month ago and has been wanting a new one, My husband decided to surprise him with a new one on his 16th birthday party, My son was overjoyed and so was I, however that excitement got ruined once I found out that my husband had used his face as the only way to unlock the phone (he had set up face recognition feature to lock\unlock the phone) and so without him, my son can not use the phone. I asked my husband why and he said he did this as a first concrete step towards having a parent-child relationship and move on from the friend-child relationship. I said he had no right to invade my son's privacy and have access to his personal stuff. I returned the phone to him and he pitched a fit about how ungraetful I'm being because he just wants to strengthens his bond with my son and then accused me of treating him as less of a parent than he is althought we're both in this together. I told him he can keep the phone unless and until the face lock, his face lock is removed because this is ridiculous. He got more upset and claimed that he's doing his best yet my son and I keep treating him poorly and get mad and oversensitive for no reason. He said I should go hear how other "fathers" trear their kids and realize my son is lucky to have him as his dad. I couldn't stand the yelling so I went inside the kitchen. He kept saying I should encourage him and be on his side for wanting to ensure my son's okay but in my opinion this isn't the way.

AITA for giving the phone back?

# ? Mar 18, 2022 05:19

Crocobile: Dec 2, 2006

Invisible Clergy posted:

This reminds me of a different post where OP's bf has been doing like the "tendies" "choccy miwk" "good boy points" style of speech indefinitely for months, in private to refer to sexual things ("will you touch my pee pee?") in public when they go out to double dates ("I hope they have chicky tendies!") and has recently escalated to throwing tantrums in the grocery store like a baby ("Waaa! Me want choccy ice cweam!") and she was at her wit's end (but obviously was too much of a doormat to just leave him. He revealed that his friend dared him to act like this for a year or something and he had to adhere to it or violate bro code. Does anyone have this post? It was very good and I'm having trouble finding it.

quote:

AITA for leaving my husband in the grocery store because he started acting like a toddler?

We all go through phases and pick up annoying habits, and sometimes we just need our loved ones to gently tell us if we've picked up a particularly egregious habit.

Sometime in the last year, my husband has picked up a habit where he talks like a baby. At first it was funny, but passed into embarrassing, cringeworthy behavior quickly.

Examples: doggo, pupper, woofer/subwoofer, pibble, hooty-boy, peepo, birb, meowmeow, sammy, sammiches, sammywhammy, chicky nuggies, chicky tendies, adding a toddleresque "lisp" to words, and the ones that really get gross are childish euphemisms for genitalia or sex.

I cannot emphasize this enough: it is not endearing or sexy to have my husband talk about my "boobies" and his "weiner" and "weenie" and "wee wee", "hoohas" and "bajingos" (Nostalgia for Scrubs be damned). We have not had sex for six months because he cannot stop talking about my "boobies" and it makes me sick.

Just before the pandemic hit, we were out at a restaurant with some friends, he actually ordered a "chicky sammy" like, said that exact phrase. Chicky. Sammy. Look, it's totally fine that he ordered the chicken sandwich. That's not the issue. Our friends noticed the baby talk, because he insisted on continuing the "joke" and even started talking with this god awful toddler... lilt? Accent?

After that, I just couldn't stomach the idea of going out with him to adult places. I'd go out to the brewery with friends, but god forbid he join me and say "Me wanty 'nother beer!" or something.

I don't know where it came from. I don't know why he's doing this. I finally hit my limit when we were grocery shopping and everything seemed normal and fine until he gasped like a kid, ran to the ice cream section and jumped up and down yelling "ICE CWEAM ICE CWEAM! I WANT CHOCWIT!"

I was *MORTIFIED*. People were staring at him and me. He kept going and kept saying "CAN WE GET POPSICOOOS?" and I just said "Either talk to me like an adult or I'm leaving."

He started saying OOOOOO YOU MUST BE FUN AT PARTIES and LIGHTEN UP, WILL YOU? And poo poo like that. I just said gently caress it, and left the store, leaving him to walk home (like a mile, it was fine) because I couldn't even look at him.

Since then, things have been very tense, and he keeps telling me that he wants an apology for embarrassing him by leaving him in the store. I told him that people don't get to demand apologies, if someone wants to apologize, it's up to them, and I am absolutely not going to apologize for saving myself the embarrassment of a 35 year old man with a mortgage and retirement account asking for "CHOCWIT ICE CWEAM."

He got his loving Mom involved, no joke. She keeps telling me it's just a phase and that he's probably bored and I should be happy this is his midlife crisis, rather than him loving 19 year olds at the local bar.

I'm going crazy. AITA? Do I really just need to let my husband continuously embarrass me like this?

Edit: Sorry, there was only so much space. I *have* talked to him. Multiple times. Especially about the sexual comments. I've made it extremely, abundantly clear that him using terms like "boobies" and "wee wee" are absolutely *repulsive* to me, among other things he says.

INFO: Does he have a job? Yes, and he acts completely normal as far as I know. He worked from home for a while during lockdown, and I never heard him talk like this to anyone he worked with.

Does he do it with friends? Sometimes, and it's generally meant to annoy them or gross them out, but he stops. He has friends where they think its "cute" to embarrass each other.

Is this a kink/fetish?: If so, I'm absolutely done. (Edited because it was offensive)

Has he seen a doctor?: No, but I've asked him if he needed to talk to someone because he was acting strange, and he accused me of being stuck up and judgmental. Given that he doesn't act like this with his coworkers, or his family, and only jokes around with his friends, I'm willing to bet that this is an indication that he's trying to force this fetish on me nonconsensually, or trying to get me to leave.

Is it a tumor?: I don't know. Like I said above, I asked him if he needed to see someone. I can't force him (even if I want to, just find out if there's any way we can salvage this), but after this post closes I will try to get him to. Maybe his sister can encourage him, even though he acts completely normal around them.

Does he have childhood trauma?: As far as I know, and I'm relatively close to his family and would likely know, the most traumatic thing he had happen was a minor car accident when he was around 13 years old. No injuries, no death, etc. He hasn't been in a car accident in the past two years or anything like that, and I haven't, and AFAIK no one else in his family has been, etc.

I want to send you a chat instead of my comment getting lost: Please don't. I've had a number of people repost this to make fun of me because I didn't respond the way they wanted, etc. Just comment, I can at least to respond to those and help others get an idea of what's going on.

quote:

Update to my husband's baby talking.

Hi all, here's the original post. The AITA mods declined to allow me to post the update because I do not have the videos described below.

Well, here I am with the update. I talked to my husband after doing some soul searching. There was no tumor, no kink, no childhood trauma. I asked him first if he understands why I am upset, and to please, please clarify if he was doing this on purpose or if we needed to seek medical intervention.

He didn't want to tell me at first and I got worried. He eventually caved when I suggested we look for a doctor because of how worried I am.

It was a bet with one of his friends that started as them trying to embarrass each other in public. He bet my husband that he couldn�t keep it up for the whole year. The only �off-limits� part was at work, because he couldn�t jeopardize his career.

No, no. He decided to jeopardize his marriage instead. For what prize? What was he going to win? A signed baseball. A. BASEBALL.

I thought he was still joking. No. He was dead serious.

How was the friend verifying? My husband would share little videos he took here and there of him upsetting me with the baby talk (including times he tried to initiate sex by whispering this baby talk in my ear -- I wasn�t in any state of undress). And by seeing us in public� like at the brewery. He got cross with me in the grocery store because I interrupted the recording and almost "blew the whole operation."

He wasn�t remorseful or apologetic. He thought we were both �in� on this little joke and that I�d find it hysterical. I asked him, did he understand we haven�t had sex in months? No no it didn�t matter, it was all worth it to him. He kept saying �You just don�t get it, it�s not just a baseball.�

I told him the joke was over, it was time to stop for good, but that I was willing to move on with him. I could forgive him. No. He wanted to keep going. There are only two months left in the bet so he's "so close." He said "We can have sex if you want, we'll just pretend XYZ" and I was just like... why does thinking about your friend even factor into this? What's wrong with you!? You never had to do this and ruin our intimate moments! But I just didn't get it, he had to be "in character" all the time.

After a lot of arguing and tears, I left him. I�m heading up to Colorado to be with my family through Christmas, and then I�m going to move in with my sister for a little while to figure out next steps. I hope it was worth it.

FOR THE PEOPLE ON r/AMITHEANGEL DOUBTING THAT THE MODS SPECIFICALLY DENIED ME THE UPDATE BECAUSE THEY DEMANDED THE VIDEOS, HERE'S YOUR loving PROOF. Do you all feel like big toughies now, /u/otterun\*\*,\*\* /u/uni-applicant\*\*, etc?\*\*

1

2

I was told that their decision was final, and then someone says, not to me, but to someone completely different, that I could have posted screenshots with my sister. Oh, thanks for that, assholes.

Edited to fix the formatting. Sounds like a real special baseball.

Crocobile fucked around with this message at 05:29 on Mar 18, 2022

# ? Mar 18, 2022 05:21

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

Quackles posted:

AITA for being "ungrateful" and returning the phone my husband gifted my 16yo son because he used his face as a lock?

You can literally solve the problem with a factory reset.

# ? Mar 18, 2022 05:21

Hispanic! At The Disco: Dec 25, 2011

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for not wanting to attend birthday parties for nieces and nephews?

quote:

My sisters kids are angels and very polite, it�s my sister that pisses me off. She�s combative and likes to argue when she drinks too much, which is often.

I'm a little surprised that OP could say these two things back to back and not realize how closely related they are.

# ? Mar 18, 2022 05:23

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

You can literally solve the problem with a factory reset.

Every AITA question

# ? Mar 18, 2022 05:25

Crocobile: Dec 2, 2006

Hispanic! At The Disco posted:

I'm a little surprised that OP could say these two things back to back and not realize how closely related they are.

Speaking as someone who was a very quiet, polite and �mature� little girl, I�m not surprised at all. :smith:

You make a good point but most people only see what they want to see, and they don�t want to see red flags for trauma and abuse.

OP still doesn�t even register the option to go no contact on her awful family.

Hot off the presses: someone who doesn�t understand cats.

AITA for confronting my friend's unsanitary behavior regarding her cats?

quote:

Throwaway, I don't want my family to see this.

Me (16F) and my best friend (also 16F) have known each other since 3rd grade and we love each other to the core. We have been through thick and thin, and I just want the best for her.

About 2 years ago she convinced her parents to finally get a pet, and she didn't get 1, but 2 kittens. I was a little bothered since I expressed my dislike for cats throughout the entire time we knew each other, but whatever. Anyway, we haven't really been able to visit each other from 2020-2021 for reasons that I can't mention due to this subreddit's \*14th rule, but when I finally visited her 3 days ago, I saw how she acts regarding her two cats:

1. Whenever she washes the cats' bowls, she washes them in the kitchen sink, the same place where her family puts THEIR dishes.
2. She doesn't give her cats baths, even though they are indoor-outdoor cats.
3. She lets the cats sit and sleep on the couches AND kitchen chairs.
4. She actually KISSES her cats.

The first things I noticed were 2 and 3, and I've expressed how they make me uncomfortable, and how it might make other guest uncomfortable in their house. She shrugged it off, saying that she doesn't give her cats baths because they bathe themselves, and she doesn't see an issue with where the cats sit as long as it wasn't on any tables where they eat. I cringed but I dropped it. Then later, I saw her kiss her cat, and I reasonably said "gross!", but she glared at me saying she didn't know what the big deal was, she only kissed him on the forehead, not the lips; to which I said that is still very gross.

The only time I actually got angry was when I saw her wash her cats' bowls in the kitchen sink, when I look at her surprised, and asked her if she knew what the hell she was doing. She looked puzzled and said that she was washing her cats' bowls, and I just said, no, no, you CANNOT do that, this is very much not okay. The plate that I ate pizza on earlier literally came into contact with cat spit. She gave excuses, like how there weren't any other dishes in the sink at the time, she never puts the cats' bowls in the dishwasher itself, she always cleans the sink thoroughly afterward, but I was not having this. I told her that no matter what, this wasn't okay at all, but she refused to listen to me, saying that if I didn't like it, I could bring my own paper plates here to eat off of, and I'm like.....why tf would I BUY paper plates just to not get sick with some disease her cats carried when she could easily just not do all this gross stuff? Anyway, she went on this rant all of this stuff was her business and that this shouldn't concern it, and I told her that if I wake up tomorrow morning with some sickness, I will 100% know it came from her cats, and then I left.

Most of our friends are saying I'm the AH, but I now idk anymore. Am I the rear end in a top hat?

EDIT: I just noticed their username is �PetRealist� :allears:

Crocobile fucked around with this message at 06:24 on Mar 18, 2022

# ? Mar 18, 2022 05:47

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Crocobile posted:

Edited to fix the formatting. Sounds like a real special baseball.

That's the one, thanks!

# ? Mar 18, 2022 05:58

DoctorWhat: Nov 18, 2011; A little privacy, please?

Cowslips Warren posted:

This bitch gonna end up in a Lifetime movie with her stomach carved out.

AITA for not wanting to attend birthday parties for nieces and nephews?

On the one hand, you have no obligations to attend any given party.

However, as the double income no kids gay aunts, you are passing up an opportunity to, with a little luck, make those kids absolutely devoted to you in the future.

# ? Mar 18, 2022 06:03

Fatty: Sep 13, 2004; Not really fat

quote:

AITA for calling CPS and cops on the family that lives above me?

I live in an apartment and 3 months ago a new family moved into the apartment above me. They have a child that looks to be about 2 years old. The first weekend that they moved in the woman came to my door, and I�m assuming to a few other peoples� doors as well, and introduced herself and her toddler. She also gave me a goodie bag of candies, which I thought was odd but kind. She explained that her toddler has a hard time adjusting to change and him getting used to his new room could cause some crying, and also mentioned he�s quite clingy and will cry if she sets him down. She gave me her WhatsApp to contact her if he�s being too loud. I thought this was considerate and thanked her.

I heard some crying the first couple weeks and didn�t mention it because of the adjustment period, but at a month in it was still happening. Her kid doesn�t really cry at night anymore, but during the day I can hear his tantrums, and I work from home so it is bothersome. I ended up sending her messages that the crying was disturbing me on 4 different occasions and each time she took him out for a couple hours but then returned and he would end up throwing more tantrums. I then made a complaint to the apartment manager and was told that they could only bring it to their attention that there was a complaint, but they couldn�t evict based on a child throwing tantrums during the day.

In my opinion, it seems that a parent should be able to have these tantrums under better control, so it doesn�t make sense for this to be happening 3-4 times a day. I started to wonder if she neglects him during the day, so I made a report to DCS (CPS) and another to the sheriff�s office. Officers responded the same day and looked like they left somewhat quickly after arriving (5 mins). Then about a week and a half later I guess a social worker had come by because the kid�s mom came to my door and asked if I reported her. I told her I did and explained why and she was angry and told me I have no clue what it�s like having a toddler and that my actions were �low and malicious�. My boyfriend was over at the time and overheard. He said he couldn�t believe I would put her through that, called me heartless, then left. He then text me later that night and broke up with me saying he wanted nothing to do with someone who would try getting someone�s child taken away over noise. I don�t think he�s understanding that it�s 3-4 tantrums A DAY! AITA?

quote:

The longest tantrums last around 45 minutes on and off. There were a couple times she let me know at the start of the tantrum that she has him in his playpen while she was getting stuff done around the apartment. To me that sounded like she was putting her kid in a box and leaving him to cry. There was also a couple times that she mentioned he hates his therapy days and throws tantrums when he doesn�t want to participate. But then why not just cancel and reschedule for a day he is willing to cooperate? I don�t know what the therapy is for, but they come to their apartment for it, so I wouldn�t imagine it�s anything extreme. She didn�t get him taken so I guess she�s not abusing or neglecting him, so no harm no foul. My now ex was sensitive about the topic because he grew up in foster care due his mom going to prison for marijuana. I figured he�d maybe see the benefit in at least having cps check.

If the child therapists (mandated reporters) that are frequently visiting the apartment haven't reported any neglect, chances are she hasn't got any better insight.

Also, what are the odds a truly neglectful parent enrolls their kid in therapy?

# ? Mar 18, 2022 06:16

TK8325: Sep 22, 2014

Fatty posted:

If the child therapists (mandated reporters) that are frequently visiting the apartment haven't reported any neglect, chances are she hasn't got any better insight.

Also, what are the odds a truly neglectful parent enrolls their kid in therapy?

lol, her boyfriend broke up with her because of this incident

# ? Mar 18, 2022 06:20

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

Crocobile posted:

Speaking as someone who was a very quiet, polite and �mature� little girl, I�m not surprised at all.

You make a good point but most people only see what they want to see, and they don�t want to see red flags for trauma and abuse.

OP still doesn�t even register the option to go no contact on her awful family.

Hot off the presses: someone who doesn�t understand cats.

EDIT: I just noticed their username is �PetRealist�

I just wanted to say that I recently saw your avatar on a rusty old shipping container that's been converted into a shed at garden furniture store.

# ? Mar 18, 2022 06:21

Yolo Swaggins Esq: Jan 29, 2015; oOoOoh 👀 a dapper little mouse🎩 🐀🕺🏻🕺🏻 a dAppER MoUSe🧐🐀 🚶🏿‍♂️🚶🏿‍♂️it�s a 🎩DAPPER mouse 👀✔️🐀🥾🏃🏽‍♂️🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻🏃🏽‍♂️🐀💥

Crocobile posted:

Hot off the presses: someone who doesn’t understand cats.

EDIT: I just noticed their username is “PetRealist”

If it's wrong to kiss my cat on her sweet tiny head, I don't want to be right.
I probably already have the toxxo anyway

# ? Mar 18, 2022 06:21

Guildenstern Mother: Mar 31, 2010; Why walk when you can ride?

Crocobile posted:

AITA for confronting my friend's unsanitary behavior regarding her cats?

this lady is nuttier than a fruitcake holy crap

# ? Mar 18, 2022 06:25

Crocobile: Dec 2, 2006

Baronjutter posted:

I just wanted to say that I recently saw your avatar on a rusty old shipping container that's been converted into a shed at garden furniture store.

The MOL croc logo is one of life�s simple pleasures; my day�s a little brighter after spotting that wide-eyed croc with a sailor tattoo out in the wild.

After 16 years of the stupid newbie avatar it was either that or Gena the Crocodile.

# ? Mar 18, 2022 06:34

thehoodie: Feb 8, 2011; "Eat something made with love and joy - and be forgiven"

Crocobile posted:

Edited to fix the formatting. Sounds like a real special baseball.

Who signed the baseball though!?

# ? Mar 18, 2022 06:46

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Fatty posted:

If the child therapists (mandated reporters) that are frequently visiting the apartment haven't reported any neglect, chances are she hasn't got any better insight.

Also, what are the odds a truly neglectful parent enrolls their kid in therapy?

god drat people calling the cops on crying toddlers is insane. Like what is their expectation? The cops shoot the child?

She can get a pair of sound blocking headphones for ~$30, and if she's work from home it must be a white collar job that pays more then minimum wage so solve the problem on your own end you loving narc.

# ? Mar 18, 2022 06:47

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

pentyne posted:

god drat people calling the cops on crying toddlers is insane. Like what is their expectation? The cops shoot the child?

Well, not am unrealistic one!

# ? Mar 18, 2022 06:50

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

pentyne posted:

god drat people calling the cops on crying toddlers is insane. Like what is their expectation? The cops shoot the child?

She can get a pair of sound blocking headphones for ~$30, and if she's work from home it must be a white collar job that pays more then minimum wage so solve the problem on your own end you loving narc.

Maybe the cops toss a flashbang into the playpen instead?

# ? Mar 18, 2022 06:51

Trollologist: Mar 3, 2010; by Fluffdaddy

Where did current thread title come from?

# ? Mar 18, 2022 06:55

Jonny Nox: Apr 26, 2008

Trollologist posted:

Where did current thread title come from?

Hughlander posted:

My [27] boyfriend [28] slept with another woman and claims I wanted him to

[UPDATE] My [27] boyfriend [28] slept with another woman and claims I wanted him to

But honey! Don't you see? I did it for US!

for those reading this in the future, current title: r/relationships: I even said "excuse me" to the girl loving my boyfriend.

# ? Mar 18, 2022 07:12

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for calling my coworker a hypocrite for giving her baby a �nerdy� name?

quote:

I (32F) am pregnant with a baby girl. My husband and I haven�t locked down a name we like until she is born.

We�re leaning towards Minerva. My husband is a mythology buff, I like Harry Potter, and we first met and bonded over our shared love of Adventure Time. It�s a win/win/win.

Again, we haven�t fully decided on a name. But Minerva is the current front runner.

Well my coworkers and I were talking about my upcoming maternity leave when it got to names. I said we hadn�t decided but like Minerva.

It should be noted that it is a well known fact in my office that I am a huge Harry Potter fan.

Well, there�s this coworker of my named Gwen (23F). Gwen started interrupting me and telling me that I shouldn�t �force my fandom� on my baby by giving her a Harry Potter name. I get what she means, but then I said this.

�Okay, but you named your daughter after Harley Quinn, right? Isn�t that the same thing?�

Gwen is a big comics girl, and often compares her and her boyfriend to Harley Quinn and Joker. I don�t know what she�s like at home, but naming your baby after a comics character is no better than if it�s from another fandom?

Gwen stormed off and has been giving me the cold shoulder since then. While everyone else agrees that she had no right to criticize my name since it�s not her baby, I shouldn�t have embarrassed her in front of everyone else.

I say different. If you name your baby after a fictional character, then you shouldn�t criticize others for doing the same thing. Even if you hate the other fandom.

I brought this up later to some other family. Everyone is split on the matter, with my own brother saying that Gwen is right and I shouldn�t force my fandom on my daughter.

Things are starting to repeat itself when I reminded him that he named his own son Ben (like Ben Kenobi) and took him to Galaxy�s Edge for his first birthday.

AITA?