r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

Communicating only in writing is a good idea, but it should be through a divorce lawyer.

I can't find the Reddit thread, does she explain why she is staying with her mooching husband who is now stealing from her?

Sadly no, they're a silent OP. The question's pretty new though, so maybe they'll come back.

# ? May 8, 2022 16:04

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# ? May 29, 2024 21:58

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Welcome to Rejected Parents, they're literally all like this. Sometimes you can make out actual details through the narcissistic fog, but these people are experts at blocking out reality.

Dr. Stab posted:

It's always "I was always a perfect parent and one day my horrible child just randomly decided not to talk to me and it's been 23 years since I've seen them."

And in the places they post none of this is never questioned. I've made the mistake of looking through some of the estranged forums for content, but it's all exactly the same. It's 100% a format. "The setup" which explains how they are alone and in need, then one projectile vomit filled with vagary and missing reasons. 50% of the time they mention one or more books they read by other famous estranged parents.

# ? May 8, 2022 16:13

Calico Heart: Mar 22, 2012; "wich the worst part was what troll face did to sonic's corpse after words wich was rape it. at that point i looked away"

Does anyone have the link/text for the guy who found out his girlfriend had a shrine to her deceased ex-boyfriend and thought he was possessing her new boyfriend when they hosed and their baby was going to be him reincarnated?

It�s seriously an all-timer and I wanna re-visit it

# ? May 8, 2022 16:22

Pondex: Jul 8, 2014

Captain Hygiene posted:

Ah, Mother's Day

AITA for not speaking to my husband until he pays back my bonus money that he spent on a gift for his mom?

The day when sons can show their deep and boundless love for their mothers, at the expense of anyone else that should be the actual center of their life

She should call up MIL and ask her how she likes the gift she bought her.

# ? May 8, 2022 16:38

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Piell posted:

AITA for calling police on a neighbour after she keyed my car because of books I write

but she’s a lovely woman and great mother

I know she keyed your car and went straight biblical by marking your door with a facsimile of blood but really she is a good person and a good mother!

Lol just lol. I will never tire of stories where someone does psycho poo poo but you can't bring up the psycho poo poo because they have a good reputation and them being psycho might make them look bad.

# ? May 8, 2022 17:32

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Really Doctor Jekyll is such an upstanding gentleman

# ? May 8, 2022 17:45

Randy Travesty: Oct 27, 2014; PHANTOM QUEEN

My mom somehow assigns my accomplishments to my brother, considering going NC posted:

I'm a 37-year-old woman and I'm graduating from college with a Mathematics BS this month, I'm headed to grad school in the fall.

My younger brother (35) and I both dropped out of high school in our teens. I've decided to change my life, went back to school, fell in love with math and am leaving my program with a solid 4.0 honors diploma. I know my poo poo.

My brother has remained a dropout and has done nothing to improve his life. When he was a kid, he wanted to go into physics and because of that, my mom (61) decided somehow that his interest indicated vast knowledge in mathematics.

The past 4 years of my education, while I grow as a person and a student and find that I really know wtf I'm doing in math and I love it has been met with constant assurances from my mom that my brother knows more than I do in the field and I just, I cannot deal with it anymore.

I wish it didn't bother me, but it does. It's incredibly invalidating and I've just had enough. Every scholarship, award, honor, and opportunity that I've been offered has had to be about my loser brother in some way. I've tried talking to her about it but she just dismisses me and denies that's what's happening.

I love my mom, I do, but I'm tired of what I've done being diminished by her favoritism for him. My husband (42) thinks I should go NC with her, and I see the value in that, but he has his own issues with her that may be coloring that suggestion. I'm not really sure if I want to die on this hill and would really appreciate input from uninvolved third parties.

TL;DR: Mom invalidates accomplishments of one child to build up another, considering NC.

Just hit da bricks. Walk the gently caress away. You'll never be her golden child as long as your brother is just sucking up all the love here.

# ? May 8, 2022 17:46

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Edward Fingerhands posted:

Just hit da bricks. Walk the gently caress away. You'll never be her golden child as long as your brother is just sucking up all the love here.

This one needs more concrete examples, for our entertainment.

# ? May 8, 2022 17:53

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

This one needs more concrete examples, for our entertainment.

quote:

My mom is a very manipulative, antiscience, conspiracy theory-driven, born-again fundamentalist Christian. I'm not saying all fundamentalist Christians are like this, but she definitely is. It used to cause a lot of problems between us which would make me upset and by proxy him. I've reduced what I talk to her about already, so continuing to trim that list isn't outside of my capabilities, it's just really reducing the list of safe topics I have with her. Fine-tuning conversational topics with her is a band-aid as far as he's concerned and he thinks I'd be happier bailing on the relationship - but it's only his suggestion, he wouldn't push it and he doesn't cause problems with her. We're pretty close to his parents, but not in an inappropriate way. His mom is straight-up awesome.

All that being said, my relationship with her outside of school is best described as strained.

ETA: I was avoiding that answer because it's not really about religion and politics and I didn't want the thread to turn into that. I know they're difficult topics for a lot of people and I didn't want conversations to break down because of that.

quote:

No, lots of people have degrees, I'm not special for that. Lots of people are dropouts, they're not losers for that.

He's a loser because he's a 35-year-old able-bodied and able-minded man that lives with our mother, does not work, does not contribute to household upkeep in any way, and takes advantage of her. That's why he's a loser.

quote:

That's a really good point and bringing up women in STEM tracks with some of the things she has mentioned in the past. Like being shocked that there would be girls at the robotics camp I mentor and assuming I was going to be a math teacher rather than going into research.

quote:

They are, mostly it's how she treats me and my life choices. I mentioned it somewhere else in the comments. She's very motivated by religion and extreme politics sometimes, which I know can be very upsetting for a lot of people and I didn't want threads to break down because of that.

quote:

Yes, he's told me I'm incorrect in my examples of applications for work I'm doing. It kind of creates this feedback loop between them where he says I'm wrong, and he loved physics when he was 12, therefore I must be wrong. It's really strange and exhausting.

"I didn't want to mention the very things that are the root causes of all of this and fundamental things about her as a person that she will not change because it might derail the thread."

# ? May 8, 2022 17:59

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Edward Fingerhands posted:

Just hit da bricks. Walk the gently caress away. You'll never be her golden child as long as your brother is just sucking up all the love here.

My husband is biased by my MIL being a huge piece of poo poo to him too, should I listen to him reddit?

# ? May 8, 2022 18:00

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

I'd tell the other neighbor im happy they're volunteering to pay for the damage from the keyed car so that me and the neighbor can talk things out.

# ? May 8, 2022 18:21

quantumwell: Jun 22, 2013

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

I can't find the Reddit thread, does she explain why she is staying with her mooching husband who is now stealing from her?

Post deleted, no comments that I could find from OP.

I don't know how OP could write that he struggles with unemployment with a straight face.

# ? May 8, 2022 19:00

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

quantumwell posted:

I don't know how OP could write that he struggles with unemployment with a straight face.

2020? Sure. 2022? It means someone won't take a job they consider "beneath them" rather than support their family.

# ? May 8, 2022 19:24

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

quantumwell posted:

Post deleted, no comments that I could find from OP.

I don't know how OP could write that he struggles with unemployment with a straight face.

There's a class of people who think that a McJob is beneath them, no matter their material conditions.

Given that he can easily steal $1k from his wife and she isn't walking out the door the moment he tells her why he did it it's not like he's got a losing strategy.

# ? May 8, 2022 19:54

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Mx. posted:

AITA for going off on my wife after she made a sex sign to keep my mom from knocking on our bedroom door?

quote:
She said that she made a sign to keep my mom out of our hair at nights. On the sign was written, �Please do not disturb unless you want to see me loving your son�.

lmao

Edward Fingerhands posted:

Just hit da bricks. Walk the gently caress away. You'll never be her golden child as long as your brother is just sucking up all the love here.

"I'm thinking of cutting my mom out of my life, but the fact that my husband also hates her is making me hesitate"

# ? May 8, 2022 20:18

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

AITA for not blocking a friend on Facebook even after a few requests from my family.

quote:

Hello,

I (35M) have a friend (35M) I met when I lived in a different state and now we talk only on Facebook since we live 2000 miles apart. He is very opinionated and does not care what he says or who he says it to. He is a Conservative Christian and very firm on his beliefs. He and I are on opposite ends of the political spectrum for the most part. I am Pro choice and he is Pro Life.

So yesterday my wife (36F) and I attended my nephews 4th birthday party at a local pizza parlor. We had a great time and the birthday boy seemed to have a blast. After we got home, I checked my phone and saw a notification from Facebook. I was tagged in a post by one of my sister in laws, Jane (30F), basically talking about the birthday party and she shared some photos. It was a cute post so I liked it and closed the app. Later in the day I see a text from one of my brothers (32M) talking about my friend basically asking what is wrong with him. Well I come to find out that my friend commented on my sister in law's post saying (I am gonna paraphrase his statement) "Please make sure you let your little boy know you didn't think he was human before he was born and that you could have easily killed him if you wanted." This type of statement is not unusual for him to say. After I read his comment my texts from my brothers were blowing up. They were understandably upset about his comment. I stayed silent as I felt it was not my business. Another sister in law, Tammy (32F), who is the mother of the birthday boy tagged me in a comment on the same post berating me for not unfriending or blocking my friend even though he harasses and attacks my family (her words, not mine). Without saying it, her comment blamed me for his comment. I told her that she also had the power to block him and that in no way am I to blame for what he said. Now my family is mad at me for still being friends with him.

For a little bit of context my friend rarely if ever comments on my family's posts. He usually just comments on mine then my family starts replying to him and that is when the fights ensue. I just typically ignore any rude comment from him because I know how he is.

Hopefully this is all understandable as I am not a very writer. Please let me know if I need to provide any further details to help clarify anything. Thank you for reading.

So AITA?

Comments:

quote:

Consider. If your friend made a habit of rushing up to your family members and kicking them in the shins, would you say "That's just how he is"?

Words are different from actions. If he kicked my family.i. the shins then of course I would do something but making a loving comment from 2000 miles away when my family ALSO has the power to block is completely different.

Poster has deleted it; link is https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ul4ax3/aita_for_not_blocking_a_friend_on_facebook_even/

# ? May 8, 2022 20:27

Mustang: Jun 18, 2006; “We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

Came across a bumble profile today that sounds like a future r/relationships post.

It's a married woman with her husband in all of her photos and the vibe of the whole profile is literally in her own words "I've been hounded to gently caress another man since the 5th date and I'm finally going to do it" and "I feel like he loves his cuck porn more than he loves me".

Reminded me of that one post about the secret cuck words the guy wanted at their wedding.

Sounds like she's known this about him since the beginning, how the gently caress does someone put up with it so long despite having no interest in it themselves?

# ? May 8, 2022 20:36

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for not blocking a friend on Facebook even after a few requests from my family.

Comments:

quote:
Consider. If your friend made a habit of rushing up to your family members and kicking them in the shins, would you say "That's just how he is"?

Reddit advice asker: Yes? :confused:

# ? May 8, 2022 20:46

greazeball: Feb 4, 2003

Are they friends because he pisses off family and friends or does he bring even more to the table?

# ? May 8, 2022 20:59

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Piell posted:

AITA for wanting my friend at my wedding?

This person is more insufferable than you can imagine in the comments.

AITA for warning my best friend about my brother having HIV ?

quote:

I (21M) have a college classmate (21F), with whom I'm best friends with, let's call her "Melissa". We've met in our freshman year and I've gotten along really well since then. Despite looking like your stereotypical blonde pretty girl, she's actually a geek who loves playing video games and watch stars with her telescope ( we're both passionate about astronomy ), but she can still totally party like a beast all night when she gets in the mood for it. She's pretty much known as "one of the boys" in our group of friends.

One day, when we were working as partners for a college project, I introduced her to my twin brother, let's call him "Eric". Melissa and Eric hit it off really well, too well actually and a couple of days later Melissa that she and my brother are going to a date together. I was shocked about this, as I didn't expect my brother to be Melissa's type. You see, they don't really have much common, Eric didn't pursue college and is now working in a car shop, but they're both adults who can make their own decisions, so I wasn't gonna interfere in their relationship. However, what worried me most about them dating was my brother's condition, you see, Eric had a pretty wild and careless sexual life in his teenage years, which resulted in him being diagnosed with HIV and while he can keep it under control, it still made me worried about Melissa's safety. I asked my brother to please inform Melissa about his disease and he assured me that he's not gonna sleep with her before informing her about it.

After their first date, Melissa kept gushing about my brother and about how she's looking forward to their second date, which made me suspicious about whether my brother told her the truth, which made me ask her if Eric told her that he's positive for HIV. She fell silent and then told me : "Oh, he didn't". She told me that it's ok cause they haven't done anything yet, but it was pretty obvious that she was bothered by it all day and even left after college was over without hanging out with our friends group like she usually does. Later on, a furious Eric calls me and tells me that he can't believe I revealed his HIV positive status to Melissa without his permission and he feels betrayed by me. I told him that I only did for Melissa's safety, but he told me that he was gonna handle it himself before they got intimate and that I had absolutely no right to reveal something so big about him behind his back, but honestly, I don't really trust him that he would've handle it by himself and I would never forgive myself if my best friend got hurt cause of him. He told me that he's gonna cut all contact with me and to not expect to see him ever again except for family gatherings.

I honestly don't regret telling Melissa, but my friends do think I was an rear end in a top hat and even jealous by revealing a secret that wasn't mine to tell and Melissa also isn't responding to my calls now.

AITA ?

Well, if he thought his brother wouldn't tell her, I can hypothetically understand this, but why would he think that?

quote:

I mean, he wouldn't have gotten the disease in the first place if not for his carelessness, so that's why I don't trust him.

YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA

# ? May 8, 2022 20:59

Randy Travesty: Oct 27, 2014; PHANTOM QUEEN

Midnight Voyager posted:

This person is more insufferable than you can imagine in the comments.

AITA for warning my best friend about my brother having HIV ?

Well, if he thought his brother wouldn't tell her, I can hypothetically understand this, but why would he think that?

YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA

Came here to post this because *holy gently caress* you do not do this. Ever. Nobody's status is your business to spread no matter how judgemental and lovely you are about it. HIV is still highly stigmatized. Jesus loving Christ. I've lost so many people to complications from HIV and AIDS and I remember how awful it was just trying to get them treated with what was available at the time. Now it's a manageable, yet chronic, disease and science has come so far. But society really hasn't.

Godddd this hits every last one of my buttons.

And?! He's in love with his friend, and "nice guy"-ing it up.

# ? May 8, 2022 21:30

thekeeshman: Feb 21, 2007

Edward Fingerhands posted:

Came here to post this because *holy gently caress* you do not do this. Ever. Nobody's status is your business to spread no matter how judgemental and lovely you are about it. HIV is still highly stigmatized. Jesus loving Christ. I've lost so many people to complications from HIV and AIDS and I remember how awful it was just trying to get them treated with what was available at the time. Now it's a manageable, yet chronic, disease and science has come so far. But society really hasn't.

Godddd this hits every last one of my buttons.

And?! He's in love with his friend, and "nice guy"-ing it up.

Telling random people for no reason is inexcusable. Telling someone who you know is going to be having sex with the HIV-positive person who does not already know about it is completely different, especially if he reasonably suspects that the brother isn't actually going to tell her.

# ? May 8, 2022 21:57

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

We aren�t given any reason to believe he wouldn�t, and the fact he only tells her because she seems happy and he assumes she wouldn�t be is a pretty big tell.

# ? May 8, 2022 22:00

Mountaineer: Aug 29, 2008; Imagine a rod breaking on a robot face - forever

quote:

My (28F) ex�s (29M) fianc�e (25F) said our relationship makes her uncomfortable and she expects some changes going forward�

I have a 5-year-old son with my ex. I would say we have a pretty good co-parenting relationship and we both try to make things as easy for our son as possible. His fianc�e recently contacted me to tell me she was uncomfortable by how close we are and that she wanted me to make some changes going forward.

Her changes include me moving. My ex and I co-own the house I currently live in but my ex paid for everything. The house is very close to my ex�s which makes it easier for our son to go between our homes. She also doesn�t like that my ex technically has his own space here which he only uses when our son is sick.

The second is she wants us to stop taking trips of any kind with our son and wants my family to stop hanging out with her future in-laws. At the moment we usually take him somewhere fun for his birthday and sometimes in the summer but she wants us to put a complete stop to it. My family and his are very close and they also sometimes take joint vacations but they�ve been doing that since before I ever had a romantic relationship with my ex.

She also has an issue with us having dinner together and over the financial agreement we currently have.

When I asked her if she had spoken to my ex about it, she said she was coming to me as a woman because I would understand better than him how these things make her feel. I don�t want her to feel uncomfortable, but I also don�t want to ruin the setup we currently have as my son is happy with it.

What can I do to make everyone happy?

TL;DR � My ex�s fianc�e said our current dynamic makes her uncomfortable. I don�t want her to feel that way but I also don�t want to ruin things for my son.

I'd love a peek into the mind of the sort of person who thinks making these requests is reasonable. Absolutely none of this is OP's responsibility.

# ? May 8, 2022 22:27

Troublemaker: Mar 12, 2007

Midnight Voyager posted:

This person is more insufferable than you can imagine in the comments.

AITA for warning my best friend about my brother having HIV ?

After their first date, Melissa kept gushing about my brother and about how she's looking forward to their second date, which made me suspicious about whether my brother told her the truth, which made me ask her if Eric told her that he's positive for HIV. She fell silent and then told me : "Oh, he didn't". She told me that it's ok cause they haven't done anything yet, but it was pretty obvious that she was bothered by it all day and even left after college was over without hanging out with our friends group like she usually does. Later on, a furious Eric calls me and tells me that he can't believe I revealed his HIV positive status to Melissa without his permission and he feels betrayed by me. I told him that I only did for Melissa's safety, but he told me that he was gonna handle it himself before they got intimate and that I had absolutely no right to reveal something so big about him behind his back, but honestly, I don't really trust him that he would've handle it by himself and I would never forgive myself if my best friend got hurt cause of him. He told me that he's gonna cut all contact with me and to not expect to see him ever again except for family gatherings.

YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA

It was literally on their first date. There was no reason whatsoever to reveal his HIV status on the first date when nothing intimate happened. The brother swore he'd tell her before they did anything, and assuming he's been through this with other partners before Melissa, there's no reason to believe he wouldn't tell her.

# ? May 8, 2022 22:41

Pleads: Jun 9, 2005; pew pew pew

It's less surprising when you think of it from OP's view: his twin brother who looks like him but is a big loser who didn't go to college got the attention of this pretty blonde girl while OP got friendzoned.

He's a jealous rear end in a top hat trying to sabotage it for his brother because he wants to bang Melissa.

# ? May 8, 2022 23:15

Verdugo: Jan 5, 2009; Lipstick Apathy

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for getting mad at my fiance?

"I'm hardly ever away. I work for the f.b.i and only get called in when there's an emergancy." Sure you are, buddy

# ? May 8, 2022 23:27

Randy Travesty: Oct 27, 2014; PHANTOM QUEEN

Pleads posted:

It's less surprising when you think of it from OP's view: his twin brother who looks like him but is a big loser who didn't go to college got the attention of this pretty blonde girl while OP got friendzoned.

He's a jealous rear end in a top hat trying to sabotage it for his brother because he wants to bang Melissa.

Exactly. His bullshit, plus his worldview, were the dead giveaways.

Plus now it's deleted because he broke rule 8, which is I guess the satire rule.

# ? May 9, 2022 00:25

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

Slugs:

Slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs
Slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs
Slugs slugs slugs slugs slugs
Slugs, everybody

# ? May 9, 2022 00:37

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

limp_cheese posted:

Our kids have early-onset estrangement.

lol

# ? May 9, 2022 00:39

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Man, I was skimming for something to post here, and it's all loving Mother's Day. Eeeugh. (Not childfree, just hate Mother's Day and Father's Day.)

# ? May 9, 2022 01:10

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA because I don't want to be unofficial babysitter on "vacation "

quote:

Last summer my dad, uncle, 2 of my cousins (15m and 12m) and I (16f) went to our family cabin for a week. My other cousin "Emma" (9f) didn't come because she was busy or something but my uncle said he'd bring her next year (this year).

Well I guess he's planning on taking Emma to the cabin over memorial day weekend. Just her not her brothers. He called last week and asked my dad if we wanted to go. My dad's going but I said no.

I would have went, except men in my family have this habbit whenever there's kid's around they just expect me to watch/take care of/entertain them. Then make it a thing when I don't want to.

Ex: Last year we were at the cabin and my grandpas friend came over with his granddaughters that were like 4 and 5 or something. All the men were just hanging out and doing whatever and just expected me to play with them. I'm not even a kid person but they were definitely brats. That was only a couple hours but still.

When we came home I was venting to my grandma about dealing with them, she said "aw they're not that bad they're cute little girls".

Yesterday my dad's family celebrated mother's day and my grandma asked me why I wasn't going to the cabin with them. I was honest and said because I didn't feel like being stuck babysitting all weekend. That I knew exactly what would happen, my dad and uncle would go do what they wanted and I'd have to stay back and take care of Emma.

My grandma said "she's your cousin you should want to spend time with her, you went to the cabin for a week with the boys. It's mean that you don't want to go with her just because she's younger".

Thing is my other cousins/her brothers didn't need to be taken care of or watched. Besides we're closer in age so have more in common.

AITA for not going

Always so odd how it's girls forced to babysit/play mom.

Cowslips Warren fucked around with this message at 01:51 on May 9, 2022

# ? May 9, 2022 01:43

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

Motronic posted:

And in the places they post none of this is never questioned. I've made the mistake of looking through some of the estranged forums for content, but it's all exactly the same. It's 100% a format. "The setup" which explains how they are alone and in need, then one projectile vomit filled with vagary and missing reasons. 50% of the time they mention one or more books they read by other famous estranged parents.

Yeah, I started reading estranged parents stuff after finding the "Missing Missing Reason" website. It's weirdly fascinating.

If it makes anyone feel better, the parents absolutely cannot handle the situation. They blame their children for the suffering they feel but it's like if supports from a building were taken away and the building collapsed: the fault is not in the supports. It does hurt to feel rejected, but these are people who are incapable of handling everyday life on their own.

quote:

I just found this site and I honestly feel like it saved my life � at least for today. I feel like I�m in hell, like there is a knee on my neck and no one will help me. My beautiful son and I were close, truly until his now wife came along. I thought we were good, but literally the minute they walked back down the aisle he became someone I don�t even recognize. It�s as if he would prefer I was dead. I�m going to listen to your book starting right now. I have 3 other grown sons that I have to continue to show up for. Thank you.

quote:

My biggest thought processes for a day where our children are supposed to acknowledge and send love to their moms is that I am stupid, I was a fool, and I am embarrassed that both of my children have dumped me.

quote:

I will cry in bed all day. My daughter has six children and I only have met only three. My heart is already am sick to think of tomorrow. I have no support except this is support and the book. I feel worthless and I don�t know what I did but she won�t talk.

quote:

Happy Mother�s day to all ladies reading this post. Today marks the 6th mother�s day without hearing from our estranged son. He was a good kid and was family oriented, friendly, kind and responsible. That changed rapidly after he married and he became increasingly withdrawn. His spouse had us all fooled at first but once she got that ring on her finger she changed and her behavior became controlling and manipulative in the extreme. She became the de-facto leader in their marriage who then decided that they should go �no contact� with his extended family. (We still don�t know why although we were made aware from the start that she considered herself to be intellectually superior. She also prided herself on not showing any emotion whatsoever and she looked down on people who did.) We have no phone numbers, emails, and as they have recently moved, even a home address for them. At this writing we have no idea where they are. What kind of a man ignores his mother and grandmothers not only on mother�s day but every day of the year? I am so disappointed in him.

quote:

I would like to respond to (other commenter's) post about trying to remember a time when my daughter brought me joy. She is 31 now and there were some happy and joyous times before she turned 11 however after that she has bullied us, verbally abused us and shunned us regularly. About 4 years ago she shut of out of her life for almost 9 months but came back, no discussions or apologies. She had met a wonderful young man, got engaged and had hoped to marry last summer however this was put on hold due to covid. Things were going relatively well, we helped them purchase their first home, they came bi weekly for dinner and came to all family functions. (something she rarely did before). My husband even commented that it appeared she had finally �grown up�. Well we couldn�t have been more wrong. She had a baby four months ago and two days after the birth sent me a series of incredibly hurtful text messages telling me that since she became pregnant she has been reflecting on her childhood and what horrible parents we have been. I felt the rug pull out from under me and went into shock. I will admit that although things had been better, there was always the elephant in the room however I realize now that she had been insincere the whole time. When I look back at my text messages to her prior to the birth they were very short and abrupt. I believe she had been planning this for months. I haven�t been in touch since then and am speaking to a therapist, so I can get years of surprised emotions off my chest. It literally feels like a weight has been put on it. The counsellor is walking me through the grieving process. Anyhow sorry for the long text. Like the rest of you a I am dreading tomorrow wondering if she will or will not contact me. I�m not sure what I want. Thank you to everyone for your thoughtful correspondence, I don�t feel so alone. Let�s try and have a decent day tomorrow regardless of what transpires.

# ? May 9, 2022 01:43

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

I don't feel the least sorry for any of those folks. They are trapped in a hell entirely of their own making, and keeping themselves trapped, because they simply cannot face their own pasts.

# ? May 9, 2022 01:53

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Oh, Lord.
AITA for having a 'lights out' wedding?

quote:

I (27F) am the daughter of the most amazing parents that ever did amaze. No, they are not perfect, but they've literally done everything they could in their lives to make sure I was happy to the best of their ability. They are also both blind.

Being raised by blind parents wasn't without it's challenges, but we always found solutions or compromises. But the one thing that was often a point of contention (especially when I was a teenager), was clothing/fashion. My parents have their own way of being fashionable, and rather than appearance, it's fabric/feel. This has resulted in them having a very 'eclectic' sense of fashion, but I honestly love it. I admit that I hated it as a teenager (as I had no say over my own wardrobe purchases) but I realized (after I moved out) that I really did prefer to feel comfortable in my clothes over how I looked in them. Took many stupid expensive clothing purchases to realize this, but I digress. Nothing is mismatched anymore, but I have a super cozy wardrobe.

With the wedding planning in full swing, my FDH asked me if I was going to be okay with the photos. He did not mean this maliciously. It just didn't occur to him that I was originally planning to buy them clothing to wear. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought 'wouldn't a fabric wedding be special?'

Essentially, the whole wedding will be in the dark. I was inspired by that restaurant in the movie 'About Time'. I realized that I don't want to dress my parents. I want them to be comfortable, and to enjoy our wedding the way they experience it. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized I want to experience this special day as they would, too. My FDH honest-to-God does not care. In his mind, the moment I said yes, I became his wife (I love him!) To avoid accidents, we're going to be using glowstick lighting and everyone will be provided glow bracelet/necklaces. They light up enough not to crash into each other, but not so much as to light up the room. We're also hiring event staff with night vision for this equipment, too.

When we announced, most of the family was supportive. My family goes without saying. Fianc�'s family is iffy. His brother loves the idea, and is going to come in a velvet suit a la Austin Powers. Honestly, it's his parents that are really against it. We had a huge fight over it when they argued that it's not fair to 'punish' the guests because my parents are blind.

The reason I think I may be TA is because the part of his family that is siding with his parents are vowing not to boycott if we don't have lights. My husband just thinks it's their loss, and that his parents will attend, even if begrudgingly. But I know it would hurt is relationship with them, and I don't want that. It's not that this is a hill I'm willing to die on, but it's 'my' wedding, and this would be really special to me. (In quotations because my husband has told me he'd marry me in the in a walmart if that's what I wanted- he just wants to marry me)

AITA?

Edit: I feel like I keep seeing these points brought up, so I'd like to address them.

We've hired a wedding planner whose literal job it is is to make sure this event runs smoothly and safety. They are literally being paid to factor in any contingency to ensure the safest experience.
There will literally be staff wearing night vision goggles monitoring every table to ensure everyone's safety, and so that if anyone needs help or guidance, they will provide it. Be it for serving food, to escorting to other guests. There were 200 invites sent out, and 121 have RSVP'd yes. Each table is set to seat 6, so at this time we're paying for 20 extra hands to cover the tables for 121 guests. This isn't counting our table, or the exits.
I've heard a lot of people imply that glo-bracelets and glo-necklaces won't be enough. Having been to many night clubs and raves in my teens and early twenties, I can promise you that 121 wearing these is enough to 'see' with. And the staff will manage the rest concerning tripping hazard and direction.
A lot of the YTA are making very valid points, and I'm discussing them with my FDH. I'm also making a list of strong points to go over with my planner tomorrow. But for those people whose only argument is that they wouldn't be comfortable not being able to see, that's literally the point. You're not supposed to see. If someone came in a giant, furry, Sully (from monsters inc) costume, I'd be thrilled when I ran into them. The wedding isn't going to be focused on visually enjoying the experience. It's about hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling it. I know for a fact that enjoyment isn't dependent on sight.

# ? May 9, 2022 02:04

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

You know what, that sounds like it would be a fun rear end wedding.

I mean if Covid wasn't a thing. And the attendants were trained to spot gropers and poo poo.

# ? May 9, 2022 02:08

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Cowslips Warren posted:

You know what, that sounds like it would be a fun rear end wedding.

I mean if Covid wasn't a thing. And the attendants were trained to spot gropers and poo poo.

And if none of your friends or relatives had vision problems, movement disorders, service dogs, were Deaf and used their vision to communicate, had traumatic memories associated with darkness, and those are only the ones I can think of off the top of my head. It's great if everybody's healthy and volunteered for it. It's not so great if you'd like your grandparents (for instance) there.

# ? May 9, 2022 02:18

Armacham: Mar 3, 2007; Then brothers in war, to the skirmish must we hence! Shall we hence?

Cowslips Warren posted:

You know what, that sounds like it would be a fun rear end wedding.

I mean if Covid wasn't a thing. And the attendants were trained to spot gropers and poo poo.

Sounds like those restaurants with no lights, but that's voluntary.

Maybe spring for some sweet night vision goggles for the guests who prefer

# ? May 9, 2022 02:22

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

If it were just a theme party and not a life event, go for it

# ? May 9, 2022 02:22

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# ? May 29, 2024 21:58

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Brawnfire posted:

If it were just a theme party and not a life event, go for it

# ? May 9, 2022 02:25

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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