Matlack Radio posted:

sharknado slashfic posted:

Ron, standing behind Nathen as he looks at his GarfieldEats! store: "Remember you are mortal"

Seth Pecksniff posted:

So apparently this dude is in league with a universal evil

quote:

And he needs Nespresso

SRQ posted:

is there a sparknotes for this because i started a few pages ago and waht the gently caress.

STABASS posted:

I could fix him

Prokhor Zakharov posted:

how much cocaine were they on?

The Alchemist posted:

Third post combo for the hell of it, mneow!
https://i.imgur.com/CueEobm.gifv

STABASS posted:

I could fix him

SRQ posted:

is there a sparknotes for this because i started a few pages ago and waht the gently caress.

The Alchemist posted:

Third post combo for the hell of it, mneow!
https://i.imgur.com/CueEobm.gifv

Desert Bus posted:

"Is this a Jordan Peterson knockoff???"

"Why did you send me this???"

*phone call involving 10mins of Jungian Theory and discussion of Žižek*

Sending my friend this book has so far turned out better than expected lol. Just waiting for them to read deeper and be more confused.

Lt. Cock posted:

I’m overtime on a 12 hour shift with nothing to do so I tried to condense this. You’re welcome.

—

The only thing Nathen Mazri ever wanted growing up was to be the worlds youngest Canadian Garfield themed fast food licensee. After a turbulent love affair with his cousin in his youth in Saudi Arabia, he experienced Araboliosis. He grabbed a bag of his dads money, a plane ticket overseas, and got on the line with Jim Davis himself.

It was finally happening. He was there, in Canada, running his Garfield themed pizza chain. He even had his own reality show that he starred in and produced and wrote and paid for with his dads money. Disaster struck in the form of a global pandemic, but Nathen was undeterred. He knew cartoons were immune from the effects of a deadly virus. That’s when he was sidelined by the evil greedy land monsters.

They took Nathen’s Garfield themed pizza building right out from under him. Many lasagna boxes were repurposed into tissue boxes during this tragic period.

As perhaps the most youngest savviest Canadian Garfield licensee the world has ever seen, Nathen quickly pivoted the business into a Garfield themed brand of frozen grocery products. At first they could only be had online. If you were in Canada. But eventually at least one grocery store stocked his Garfield Big Cow lasagnas one time.

Around this time Nickelodeon bought the Garfield rights off of Jim Davis. Despite the success and brand recognition Nathen was creating with his license on the character, someone must have taken issue with Nathen’s repeated implications about loving the big orange cat. He was in fork jail now. He’d lost the love of his life.

And he was still sitting on truckloads of frozen lasagnas. Thus, ScoobyEats was born. An entergaging grocery brand the likes two grocery stores in the Toronto area had never seen. Nathen gave his lasagnas a fresh Scooby Doo themed paint job and set to work rebuilding his empire.

But it wasn’t the same. He still pined for that big fat sexcy orange cat. They had a connection that only a toddler being fed an endless supply of Valium and Garfield comics can form. He briefly pivoted to a celibate lifestyle, rejecting his primal urges, trying to forget their bond. Ralph Lauren was even commissioned for a line of custom Celibacy wear.

He was still hollow inside. He needed the cat. So, like only someone with mania and an infinite pool of someone else’s money can do, Nathen forgot about his Scooby themed brand. He would get the cat back, even if he had to become the cat.

Thus, in a glorious flash of light from our one true lord Maalik Ul Mulk, Nathfield was born. A divine fusion of Nathen and Garfield’s essence. They were together at last and totally not experiencing a coke and BPD induced psychotic episode.

Matlack Radio posted:

FARM2SKIN2FLAYING2PLATE



https://www.linumcare.com/

The links on this site all go where they claim they will. And the narrative of an effective skincare product made with a few simple ingredients tracks to the point that I might have investigated this product for myself if I had learned about it in literally any other fashion. Nathen is likely just an investor, as the only sign of him is the ghastly tag "farm2skin" plastered everywhere.

BigBadSteve posted:

There's other signs of him too... at least five grammatical mistakes in those advertising slogans.

Matlack Radio posted:

https://www.linumcare.com/

The links on this site all go where they claim they will. And the narrative of an effective skincare product made with a few simple ingredients tracks to the point that I might have investigated this product for myself if I had learned about it in literally any other fashion. Nathen is likely just an investor, as the only sign of him is the ghastly tag "farm2skin" plastered everywhere.

Scientastic posted:

ZERO CHEMICALS

I know what that means in common parlance, but it still drives me a bit mad to see it

PsychoInternetHawk posted:

The thing that made me wonder if Nathan is schizophrenic to some extent was that he started talking about various famous people like they're with him having a conversation

TBH the Garfield stuff is regular devientart weirdness combined with mania, it's slightly more worrying when someone starts thinking the voices on YouTube are talking directly to them

STABASS posted:

I could fix him

AdmiralViscen posted:

https://twitter.com/thenathfield/status/1523370865198788608?s=21&t=GFmUDO7BkDtOlTW0zy-BuQ

Futanari Damacy posted:

Oh for fucks sake what the hell is this now

Futanari Damacy posted:

Oh for fucks sake what the hell is this now

wynott dunn posted:

who let the dogs out in saudi