Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

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Hardawn: Mar 15, 2004; Don't look at the sun, but rather what it illuminates; College Slice

I'd be game if he says Qdoba or Salsaritas, but uh no thank you.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 03:34

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 20:20

Dr. Fraiser Chain: May 18, 2004; Redlining my shit posting machine

The merchant pays the credit card fee. Do I get a discount for using the crypto? Why would I install an app to save chipotle money?

# ? Jun 7, 2022 03:36

Hardawn: Mar 15, 2004; Don't look at the sun, but rather what it illuminates; College Slice

Did you not save a dollar on a 10 dollar burrito once?

That's what I thought.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 03:38

PhazonLink: Jul 17, 2010

my burrito place uses the ancient old fashion punch card, how can butts help me get an 11th free burrito?

# ? Jun 7, 2022 03:46

precision: May 7, 2006; by VideoGames

Gutcruncher posted:

So crypto is just gift cards but stupider? Is that what libertarians have been raving about??

don't be ridiculous

buttcoin is far less functional than a gift card

# ? Jun 7, 2022 03:48

lamentable dustman: Apr 13, 2007; ððð

https://twitter.com/cooperlund/status/1533987960709861382

# ? Jun 7, 2022 03:56

nullEntityRNG: Jun 23, 2010; Mostly pseudo-random.

"Corporations aren't your friend, adopt this crypto to stick it to them" I scream as I continue to put money in another corporation that surely is my friend this time. I scream this so loudly the cum I got for sucking a dude off in the alley for 1/10th for my chipotle burrito splatters onto the ground. I weep, for that was supposed to sustain me when FLEXA goes to the moon.

"They'll be sorry" I utter in anguish, "FLEXA is better than any existing system despite it doing the exact same process with 10 extra steps.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 04:00

fullroundaction: Apr 20, 2007; Drink beer every day

As a shorty playing in the front yard of the crib
Fell down, and I bumped my head
Somebody helped me up and asked me if I bumped my head
I said Yeah
So then they said oh so that mean we gon, you gon switch it on em
I said yeah, Flexa, Flexa is the greatest

# ? Jun 7, 2022 04:05

tango alpha delta: Sep 9, 2011; Ask me about my wealthy lifestyle and passive income! I love bragging about my wealth to my lessers! My opinions are more valid because I have more money than you! Stealing the fruits of the labor of the working class is okay, so long as you don't do it using crypto. More money = better than!

tsnoballs007 is lurking and smiling to himself "these guys really like me."

tango alpha delta fucked around with this message at 04:18 on Jun 7, 2022

# ? Jun 7, 2022 04:08

Rotten Red Rod: Mar 5, 2002

Finally! A way to buy a burrito and/or a donut! What problems will crypto solve next?

# ? Jun 7, 2022 04:20

PhazonLink: Jul 17, 2010

precision posted:

don't be ridiculous

buttcoin is far less functional than a gift card

this is true, but giftcards should also be banned imo.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 04:31

Deki: May 12, 2008; It's Hammer Time!

Dr. Video Games 0031 posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/Devon_Wiersma/status/1533886234967396355

i'm convinced that not a single person who's written these wild nft-in-games fantasies has ever actually played a video game before

Sounds like Archeage but somehow even worse.

Knowing how antisocial a lot of sandbox MMO gamers are, good loving luck herding cats when real money is on the line.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 04:48

Golden Bee: Dec 24, 2009; I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.

Dr. Video Games 0031 posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/Devon_Wiersma/status/1533886234967396355

i'm convinced that not a single person who's written these wild nft-in-games fantasies has ever actually played a video game before

The responses to that post are as long as this thread with the exact same tenor

# ? Jun 7, 2022 04:52

Arrrthritis: May 31, 2007; I don't care if you're a star, the moon, or the whole damn sky, you need to come back down to earth and remember where you came from

Dr. Video Games 0031 posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/Devon_Wiersma/status/1533886234967396355

i'm convinced that not a single person who's written these wild nft-in-games fantasies has ever actually played a video game before

I really love playing Clash of Guilds, which is why I spend all my time playing Rune Chains, because the only way to progress in Clash of Guilds is to play a game that I don't enjoy playing.

It's like modern day WoW where you need to do activities that you hate to progress in the activies you enjoy.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 05:28

The Fattest PI: Mar 4, 2008

I did a complicated computer math thing technical analysis of bitcoin's price, and here's why it's going to the moon for real this time

# ? Jun 7, 2022 05:38

ChronoBasher: Jul 2, 2007

If I forget/lose/destroy my Flexa or Spedn wallet seed phrase/password/key, will they send me a new one so I can still buy burritos?

# ? Jun 7, 2022 05:40

VoodooXT: Feb 24, 2006; I want Tong Po! Give me Tong Po!

sinky posted:

Only 500 of this $29.99 game asset we bought in existence

https://twitter.com/lizaledwards/status/1533852224064851968?s=20&t=83EBSRx6ySIhfjA_8Az4fA

"Don't look a grift horse in the mouth."

# ? Jun 7, 2022 05:40

Tunicate: May 15, 2012

I will point out that you can spend subway gift cards on a suprisingly large number of things, including in app purchases in, and subscriptions to, famed MMO Wuxia Online

# ? Jun 7, 2022 05:56

Tunicate: May 15, 2012

And like all cryptocoins, subway is highly recommended by pedophiles

# ? Jun 7, 2022 05:57

The Kins: Oct 2, 2004

lamentable dustman posted:

https://twitter.com/cooperlund/status/1533987960709861382

https://twitter.com/adamscochran/status/1533993930827636737

Fun times ahead.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 06:40

HolHorsejob: Mar 14, 2020; Portrait of Cheems II of Spain by Jabona Neftman, olo pint on fird

sinky posted:

Only 500 of this $29.99 game asset we bought in existence

https://twitter.com/lizaledwards/status/1533852224064851968?s=20&t=83EBSRx6ySIhfjA_8Az4fA

Horse Armor but somehow even funnier/worse

# ? Jun 7, 2022 06:57

Agents are GO!: Dec 29, 2004

https://twitter.com/coinfessions/status/1530519270316199936?s=20&t=NjYCNnI9Y9d16t1kbAr1Ew

Holy hell, inject this right into my veins.

https://twitter.com/trader_that/status/1528398054243581958?s=20&t=BIhDfnv8MW1lQ0WrHZiLIw

:circlefap:

https://twitter.com/coinfessions/status/1524397918446186496?s=20&t=BIhDfnv8MW1lQ0WrHZiLIw

Agents are GO! fucked around with this message at 07:14 on Jun 7, 2022

# ? Jun 7, 2022 07:04

Tricky Ed: Aug 18, 2010; It is important to avoid confusion. This is the one that's okay to lick.

Arrrthritis posted:

I really love playing Clash of Guilds, which is why I spend all my time playing Rune Chains, because the only way to progress in Clash of Guilds is to play a game that I don't enjoy playing.

It's like modern day WoW where you need to do activities that you hate to progress in the activies you enjoy.

I love how the "ground-breakingness" part of this hypothetical requires multiple game companies to implement complex systems that benefit customers of other games to the exclusion of their own customers.

I can't implement all the cool things I want to put in my game in the time I have. I'm not implementing a NFT that I don't own that does cool stuff in your game.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 07:14

ReidRansom: Oct 25, 2004

lamentable dustman posted:

https://twitter.com/cooperlund/status/1533987960709861382

Got as far as "highly liquid assets equal to not less than 100% of the face value " and laffoed right gently caress out..

# ? Jun 7, 2022 07:19

thehandtruck: Mar 5, 2006; the thing about the jews is,

Buschmaki posted:

You make an NFT of your wealth and you own it forever, dumbass.....

thats cute. i own an nft of your wealth :smuggo:

# ? Jun 7, 2022 07:26

Collateral: Feb 17, 2010

I really want to mint? Ico? A TriangularCoin, in memory of tobleronetriangular. A litteral, high effort, high class, trollcoin.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 07:29

SettingSun: Aug 10, 2013

Sure, I'd love to simultaneously play 4 lovely interconnected games at once so I can be even remotely competitive in the one I care about.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 07:31

priznat: Jul 7, 2009; Let's get drunk and kiss each other all night.

SettingSun posted:

Sure, I'd love to simultaneously play 4 lovely interconnected games at once so I can be even remotely competitive in the one I care about.

It�s all purely theoretical because this poo poo will never ever happen. Outside of dumb tchotchkes like the ubisoft crap no decent game studio is going to touch this stuff. Especially not if it is expected to have assets that work with other game companies� games.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 07:34

Ad by Khad: Jul 25, 2007; Human Garbage
Watch me try to laugh this title off like the dickbag I am.
I also hang out with racists.

been a while since the poop touched us

also satoshi could absolutely rugpull BTC if he were still alive and he isnt the only one who could

# ? Jun 7, 2022 07:36

ReidRansom: Oct 25, 2004

Ad by Khad posted:

been a while since the poop touched us

also satoshi could absolutely rugpull BTC if he were still alive and he isnt the only one who could

I choose to believe Satoshi is still alive and forgot his password. Much more satisfying

# ? Jun 7, 2022 07:40

ELTON JOHN: Feb 17, 2014; Can't post for 16 hours!

snotball007 posted:

You really don't understand much at all about the ecosystem. Let me share my knowledge, as I do enjoy using Flexa for poo poo (stablecoins 90% of the time because tax reasons). Also, congrats on giving me the motivation to come back to the forums just for this.

1) CRYPTO PAYMENTS ARE INSTANT THROUGH FLEXA! No confirmation times. That's because it uses $AMP as it's collateral token. (whitepaper and audits here: https://docs.amptoken.org/ )

So, when you go to a merchant that accepts Flexa (Chipotle in this case), you select the crypto you want to use and what merchant. Flexa generates a temporary "Flexcode" (i.e. "gift card"), have merchant scan the code, and done.

Yes, it's still new and real businesses take time to adapt, so at Chipotle I have to say "I want to pay with a gift card" for the cashier to select the gift card option. While places like Dunkin Donuts just go straight through. And there's always the possibility that the store location has outdated PoS hardware or you just don't have cell reception in the store. (Use free wifi at locations if you feel like opening yourself up to that security risk in general.)

Here are videos of me spending at both Chipotle https://twitter.com/LeviTheGiant/status/1533535289146327047 and at Dunkin Donuts https://twitter.com/LeviTheGiant/status/1528087264114401282

2) Flexa isn't taking on all the risk, that's what the staking pools exist. Remember when I stated that "CRYPTO PAYMENTS ARE INSTANT THROUGH FLEXA" part?

So, if you bothered to read the AMP token whitepaper (I don't blame you for not reading it, it's not that entertaining and a thicc boi), you'd know that the entire network operates by a smart contract. When a flexcode is scanned, the PoS hardware/software (no new hardware required) ingests the information on the Flexcode, smart contract checks to see if that wallet has that amount of funds for that merchant. When it is a "Yes, there are funds", then the network allocates the fiat equivalent of the purchase ($ Burrito) in staked $AMP and the merchant fee (less than 1% of $ Burrito, $AMP in merchant fee purchased from open market) and "locks it up" while waiting for the transaction to settle on the blockchain.

IF there is a problem with settling the transaction on the blockchain, then the smart contract liquidates the "locked up" staked $AMP. And funds are then used to make the merchant whole. Aka, MERCHANTS NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FAILED PAYMENT TRANSACTIONS WITH CRYPTO! Here's a video explaining it if the reader still can't comprehend it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwV_SKLR-Uk

3) Team came from MIT and worked in the payments industry before finally figuring out the problem of crypto and payments in general. Yes, I verified and yes I did pull at least one team member's public record.

Notice how I said that "less than 1% merchant fee" bit earlier? Guess what... That all goes to the stakers. Stakers "earn all the fees" and AMP "is the glue that holds the Flexa Network together", those are the words of Tyler Spalding the "face" of Flexa. MIT grad (2011), worked for NASA/LM, and has been in Bitcoin since 2011, 6 months before his graduation from MIT. Oh, and they undercut VISA / MasterCard / Discover by a factor of 2-6x on fees, with a network that doesn't suffer from attacks (phishing, skimming) like current payment rails. And guess what? They are partnered and invested heavily in zkSync for zero knowledge rollups.

They've got a dozen pools up ("transformers") and even run quite a few Lightning Nodes in El Salvador (Flexa is how the largest financial institution in El Salvador accepts bitcoin payments). Here's where to stake and to see stats https://app.flexa.network/

4) Currently, only 2 wallets compatible but others have been announced by the actual projects involved (i.e. Solana Pay). The wallets are Spedn and Gemini...yes, that Gemini with the Winklevii.

So, if you are a Gemini user, what you do is open up the app and look at the top right hand corner right. It's the thing that looks like it's either a switch or a sideways credit card. That takes you to Flexa on Gemini. Select a wallet of which supported crypto you want to use from the drop down, then select a merchant. Same rules apply as before.

For Spedn, it's less obvious and I don't recommend it to new users. As it blatantly has a warning "not to deposit more than you are willing to spend" and telling people that they can't transfer funds out of it. Newer wallets won't have to worry about this, and honestly it's a non-issue for us who keep around $150 and less on Spedn at any given time.

5) You haven't heard of them before because crypto technology is just NOW getting ready for mass adoption (i.e. scaling, privacy, etc).

You see, the team is actually smart and not eating paste with crappy airdrops. They understand that the real world requires actual licensing and legitimacy. So they pooled in all their resources/connections and have partnerships with the major players in payments. NCR, Incomm Payments, GKSoftware, BlackHawk Network, etc. Turns out, it's actually smart to make your stuff work with other people's hardware/training/budget limitations.

It's getting more interesting this year. From filming a commercial to all expenses paid trips to Consensus 2022. Consensus 2022 is where Flexa will have a "Store of Value", one of many places at the conference where attendees can spend the new DESK loyalty token from CoinDesk (developed and made possible by Flexa).

Now, think about it, over 60% of the supply is staked to Flexa Capacity, they have yet to even lose $1 while operating, and the smart contract literally purchases tokens via the merchant fee. Oh, and they undercut Visa/MC along with offering far better security than any plastic card could offer.

yeah whatever i�m gonna keep using my debit card

# ? Jun 7, 2022 07:44

Ad by Khad: Jul 25, 2007; Human Garbage
Watch me try to laugh this title off like the dickbag I am.
I also hang out with racists.

ReidRansom posted:

I choose to believe Satoshi is still alive and forgot his password. Much more satisfying

very possible. some say satoshi was Hal Finney but he denied it and his life did not end well

# ? Jun 7, 2022 07:54

Mimesweeper: Mar 11, 2009; Smellrose

literally mad about a post and came here to get revenge lol

# ? Jun 7, 2022 07:58

Mimesweeper: Mar 11, 2009; Smellrose

turnabout is fairplay my lads, i do so enjoy a romp with the ol' goons! check out my podcast, ta~

# ? Jun 7, 2022 07:59

Mimesweeper: Mar 11, 2009; Smellrose

https://twitter.com/adyingnobody/status/1534021154674966529
...
https://twitter.com/adyingnobody/status/1534021876510498817
...
https://twitter.com/adyingnobody/status/1534022637642457089
...

hm

# ? Jun 7, 2022 09:10

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Agents are GO! posted:

https://twitter.com/coinfessions/status/1530519270316199936?s=20&t=NjYCNnI9Y9d16t1kbAr1Ew

4 figs

No newtons

# ? Jun 7, 2022 10:31

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

SettingSun posted:

Sure, I'd love to simultaneously play 4 lovely interconnected games at once so I can be even remotely competitive in the one I care about.

oh man, have you seen the new diablo mobile game's microtransaction scheme? they set it up like 10 layers of .001 percent chance increases through direct cash infusions. someone did the math and to play at a level that would guarantee you epic drops you'd spend 100k real money for the pleasure.

# ? Jun 7, 2022 10:35

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

snotball007 posted:

You really don't understand much at all about the ecosystem. Let me share my knowledge, as I do enjoy using Flexa for poo poo (stablecoins 90% of the time because tax reasons). Also, congrats on giving me the motivation to come back to the forums just for this.

1) CRYPTO PAYMENTS ARE INSTANT THROUGH FLEXA! No confirmation times. That's because it uses $AMP as it's collateral token. (whitepaper and audits here: https://docs.amptoken.org/ )

So, when you go to a merchant that accepts Flexa (Chipotle in this case), you select the crypto you want to use and what merchant. Flexa generates a temporary "Flexcode" (i.e. "gift card"), have merchant scan the code, and done.

Yes, it's still new and real businesses take time to adapt, so at Chipotle I have to say "I want to pay with a gift card" for the cashier to select the gift card option. While places like Dunkin Donuts just go straight through. And there's always the possibility that the store location has outdated PoS hardware or you just don't have cell reception in the store. (Use free wifi at locations if you feel like opening yourself up to that security risk in general.)

Here are videos of me spending at both Chipotle https://twitter.com/LeviTheGiant/status/1533535289146327047 and at Dunkin Donuts https://twitter.com/LeviTheGiant/status/1528087264114401282

2) Flexa isn't taking on all the risk, that's what the staking pools exist. Remember when I stated that "CRYPTO PAYMENTS ARE INSTANT THROUGH FLEXA" part?

So, if you bothered to read the AMP token whitepaper (I don't blame you for not reading it, it's not that entertaining and a thicc boi), you'd know that the entire network operates by a smart contract. When a flexcode is scanned, the PoS hardware/software (no new hardware required) ingests the information on the Flexcode, smart contract checks to see if that wallet has that amount of funds for that merchant. When it is a "Yes, there are funds", then the network allocates the fiat equivalent of the purchase ($ Burrito) in staked $AMP and the merchant fee (less than 1% of $ Burrito, $AMP in merchant fee purchased from open market) and "locks it up" while waiting for the transaction to settle on the blockchain.

IF there is a problem with settling the transaction on the blockchain, then the smart contract liquidates the "locked up" staked $AMP. And funds are then used to make the merchant whole. Aka, MERCHANTS NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FAILED PAYMENT TRANSACTIONS WITH CRYPTO! Here's a video explaining it if the reader still can't comprehend it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwV_SKLR-Uk

3) Team came from MIT and worked in the payments industry before finally figuring out the problem of crypto and payments in general. Yes, I verified and yes I did pull at least one team member's public record.

Notice how I said that "less than 1% merchant fee" bit earlier? Guess what... That all goes to the stakers. Stakers "earn all the fees" and AMP "is the glue that holds the Flexa Network together", those are the words of Tyler Spalding the "face" of Flexa. MIT grad (2011), worked for NASA/LM, and has been in Bitcoin since 2011, 6 months before his graduation from MIT. Oh, and they undercut VISA / MasterCard / Discover by a factor of 2-6x on fees, with a network that doesn't suffer from attacks (phishing, skimming) like current payment rails. And guess what? They are partnered and invested heavily in zkSync for zero knowledge rollups.

They've got a dozen pools up ("transformers") and even run quite a few Lightning Nodes in El Salvador (Flexa is how the largest financial institution in El Salvador accepts bitcoin payments). Here's where to stake and to see stats https://app.flexa.network/

4) Currently, only 2 wallets compatible but others have been announced by the actual projects involved (i.e. Solana Pay). The wallets are Spedn and Gemini...yes, that Gemini with the Winklevii.

So, if you are a Gemini user, what you do is open up the app and look at the top right hand corner right. It's the thing that looks like it's either a switch or a sideways credit card. That takes you to Flexa on Gemini. Select a wallet of which supported crypto you want to use from the drop down, then select a merchant. Same rules apply as before.

For Spedn, it's less obvious and I don't recommend it to new users. As it blatantly has a warning "not to deposit more than you are willing to spend" and telling people that they can't transfer funds out of it. Newer wallets won't have to worry about this, and honestly it's a non-issue for us who keep around $150 and less on Spedn at any given time.

5) You haven't heard of them before because crypto technology is just NOW getting ready for mass adoption (i.e. scaling, privacy, etc).

You see, the team is actually smart and not eating paste with crappy airdrops. They understand that the real world requires actual licensing and legitimacy. So they pooled in all their resources/connections and have partnerships with the major players in payments. NCR, Incomm Payments, GKSoftware, BlackHawk Network, etc. Turns out, it's actually smart to make your stuff work with other people's hardware/training/budget limitations.

It's getting more interesting this year. From filming a commercial to all expenses paid trips to Consensus 2022. Consensus 2022 is where Flexa will have a "Store of Value", one of many places at the conference where attendees can spend the new DESK loyalty token from CoinDesk (developed and made possible by Flexa).

Now, think about it, over 60% of the supply is staked to Flexa Capacity, they have yet to even lose $1 while operating, and the smart contract literally purchases tokens via the merchant fee. Oh, and they undercut Visa/MC along with offering far better security than any plastic card could offer.

holy poo poo LOL

# ? Jun 7, 2022 10:38

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

snotball007 posted:

Reading is hard, I know, did you see that "earn all the fees bit"?

Yeah, I stake so I get rewarded on the backend.

Oh, and credit cards? Yeah, Flexa has better incentives. GameStop offered 25% off of purchases on Christmas Eve. Chipotle is currently promoting 10% off with Flexa purchase.

how is there a real crypto idiot in this thread. LMAO!

# ? Jun 7, 2022 10:41

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 20:20

Deep Glove Bruno: Sep 4, 2015; yung swamp thang

Mimesweeper posted:

https://twitter.com/adyingnobody/status/1534021154674966529
...
https://twitter.com/adyingnobody/status/1534021876510498817
...
https://twitter.com/adyingnobody/status/1534022637642457089
...

hm

drat man. It just makes me remember: dunks are fun and make me feel good about how poo poo everything is. But make no mistake, it's worse than we can imagine and in the final analysis an absolute tragedy for humankind that this structure was created and that the worst types of people on earth gravitated to it and were able to gain power through it. More than the technical absurdities and the circus of scams and crashes, that is the real condemnation of the world of crypto. If it's real I guess that chatlog release will make that clearer than it already is.

edit: reading this back, you could also substitute "capitalism" for "crypto" lol but let's stay on topic

Deep Glove Bruno fucked around with this message at 11:31 on Jun 7, 2022

# ? Jun 7, 2022 11:28

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

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