Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos
Oh, the comments are just gold

quote:

I mean like she prays 5 times a day with her mat, and wears her hijab and face veil literally all the time. She only takes off the face veil in her room. It’s overkill imo, but she can do what she wants I guess lol
So... she's a practicing Muslim?

quote:

It doesn’t bother me too much since I’ve gotten used to it at this point. My parents aren’t racist, they just are uncomfortable with foreigners and don’t like Islamic ideologies. I don’t understand why she couldn’t just compromise and not talk in Arabic for like 3 days though, it’s not a big deal
:thunk:

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Clocks
Oct 2, 2007



OP shouldn't speak english (or their original language) with their parents imo, it's insulting and makes me uncomfortable

New Coke
Nov 28, 2009

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.

Foo Diddley posted:

no, no, OP isn't racist at all

Oh my god

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

quote:

How about you stop speaking English?

OP posted:

Lol, let’s be reasonable, ok? That’s a false equivalence
Huh. Really? Would you say that you don't think you're equal? Because you're a racist shithead?

Edit:

quote:

You realize that her family might not speak English right? So she's supposed to not communicate with her family cause you and your parents are close minded AH? You're like the poster child for why people think Americans in general are ignorant uneducated AH.

OP posted:

She can text them for like 3 days, I don’t see the big deal. I wish she would just try to be considerate of my perspective too.
Oh, she sees your perspective for what it is.

Absurd Alhazred fucked around with this message at 22:42 on Jun 30, 2022

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Oh, the comments are just gold

So... she's a practicing Muslim?

:thunk:

I want to sit this kid down and have them explain to me what they think racism is. I figure it'd either be a lost cause or a lightbulb moment.

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


AITA for pissing my wife off on our wedding day?

quote:

I got married to my wife and partner of 6 years last Saturday. We met each other in freshman year of college and I was your average frat boy. After a while of being together she was getting bothered with some of my frat behaviors with my friends and she sat me down and talked about things that make her uncomfortable and are a deal breaker for her. Because I loved her and I didn't want to risk my relationship with her I decided it would be for the best to establish some boundaries with my friends in other not to being my partner in awkward positions in the future.

Occasionally though we still have our guys nights and we get wasted and my partner just endures it because its not as usual as it used to be and after all she has girls nights out with her friends too.

For our bachelor party my wife had cleared up how she wouldn't be ok if my friends got me strippers. I had told my friends that but they ended up getting strippers anyway. I felt really bad because it went against my wife's wishes but I couldn't leave because we were already there at the party so I begged them to at least not say anything about it. They actually respected my wishes this time and didn't say anything.

On our wedding day, during the reception and the party, my friends got wasted drunk and I got drunk with them as well. We jumped into the venues pool and we were dancing all wet from head to toe. My best man at some point threw up all over the place. At some point my wife pulls me aside and tells me that I couldn't act right this one time and that I'm very unserious. At that point I didn't have the brain to comprehend what was wrong but the next day she sat me down and said she's very disappointed with my behavior at the wedding and how I basically brushed her off and I treated our wedding party as a frat house party and it was embarrassing for us and for our guests as well.

I told her that while I understand her concerns this was also my wedding and I had the right to enjoy myself however I see fit. She said the wedding is about the both of us and not just me and how she'd never do something that would embarrass me. I talked to my parents about it and they also sided with her and said I was really out of hand on our wedding day and I owe her an apology. My friends on the other hand told me she should just realise how it's not all about her and how my enjoyment matters just as much. Idk if I'm TA for making her mad.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Bruceski posted:

I want to sit this kid down and have them explain to me what they think racism is. I figure it'd either be a lost cause or a lightbulb moment.

Oh, "Lost Cause" will lighten OP right up, I'm sure.

Mustang
Jun 18, 2006

“We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for pissing my wife off on our wedding day?

Completely flabbergasted how people like this end up in years long relationships, let alone get married.

Pleads
Jun 9, 2005

pew pew pew


I told my friends my wife didn't want strippers but they got strippers so I told them to lie about it and they agreed because they care about me and respect my relationship.

Dude absolutely sucks.

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for pissing my wife off on our wedding day?

i turned one of the most important days of our lives into a drunken bash with my frat buddies, and also probably hosed a stripper at the bachelor party. my frat buddies say this is fine, though, so i can't really figure out if i'm an rear end in a top hat or not

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Oh, "Lost Cause" will lighten OP right up, I'm sure.

lol

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for pissing my wife off on our wedding day?

Huh, weird how he only describes the wedding in terms of him and his boys having a drunken blast.

quote:

Because the wedding is a party. We were not supposed to be glued to each other all night long. I had the right to hang with my friends as she had the right to hang with hers

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Pleads posted:

I told my friends my wife didn't want strippers but they got strippers so I told them to lie about it and they agreed because they care about me and respect my relationship.

Dude absolutely sucks.

The strippers business is such a weird thing to tell us about, as far as we know his wife hasn't heard about it (yet) so it doesn't relate to their current conflict?

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat
months from now, OP and the boys crashing the baby shower to do jager shots and puke in the new crib

the party never ends amirite

PancakeTransmission
May 27, 2007

You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust...


Plaster Town Cop

Absurd Alhazred posted:

The strippers business is such a weird thing to tell us about, as far as we know his wife hasn't heard about it (yet) so it doesn't relate to their current conflict?
It's either Chekhov's Gun and it'll come up in a later comment/edit/update post, or it's specifically there so we know he doesn't respect his wife at all. Good writing.

limp_cheese
Sep 10, 2007


Nothing to see here. Move along.

pentyne posted:

Huh, weird how he only describes the wedding in terms of him and his boys having a drunken blast.

I feel like this guy doesn't understand what a wedding is. I guess its just saying "I do" in front of a bunch of people then getting the gently caress away from each other to hang out with the people that actually matter?

CharlestheHammer
Jun 26, 2011

YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!
I mean the wedding is about the most important person in your life so he seems to be doing it correctly

Troublemaker
Mar 12, 2007

The guys obviously a professional, though. I might just be old, but there's no way I could get shitfaced drunk the night before, then put on a wedding and get shitfaced drunk again the next night.

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat
hosed up posting this the first time, lol

anyway CW: humiliation and disrespect for NO REASON AT ALL

AITA for telling my nephew to make amends with his estranged sister?

quote:

My sister died when her 2 children were very young. Her husband raised the children as a single dad until he died 3 years ago.

My niece, let's call her Brenda, is 34. My nephew, let's call him Bryan, is 30. I (49F) have always been close with Brenda. I sort of took under my wing after my sister died. She comes to me for guidance. I have children of my own but I consider Brenda my bonus daughter. She was very close with her father and she was utterly devastated when he died suddenly.

Bryan has always been in his own world. He didn't have much of a relationship with his father, and he has always been distant with me and my children. He moved 13 hours away when he was 21 and he got married there. He barely visits.

Bryan hates Brenda. He estranged himself from her right after their father died. He claims that Brenda is a bully to him and his wife. He also claims that Brenda stole his inheritance. Brenda can be spirited and emotional sometimes, and she says things she doesn't mean, but she's a good person with a big heart. She goes to church with me, and Bryan and his wife haven't stepped foot into a church in a long time. Brenda helps out with my mother, and Bryan visits my mother (his own grandmother) only every 1 or 2 years. We have no idea what Bryan is doing with his life.

I stayed out of the inheritance situation because it's none of my business. Brenda was very devastated when her brother disowned her. She has no family left except me, my children and my mother. I spent a lot of time supporting her through it.

Recently my mother had a 75th birthday party and Bryan came. Of course his wife couldn't be bothered to come. Brenda was out of town so she wasn't there. Bryan and I sat at the same table with my children and their own significant others.

I updated Bryan on how Brenda was doing and he blew up at me. He told me that he didn't care about his sister and what was going on with her. He demanded that I stop talking about her. I told him that I wished he would make amends with her and he scoffed and said it would never happen. I suggested that he move back home and maybe they'll get past all this because it's what his parents would have wanted. He said nothing and stormed off.

I was humiliated because he spoke to me in a disrespectful way in front of my children and he was talking so loudly that other tables could hear him. My son and his girlfriend admitted that they don't like Brenda either (that was news to me) and I should respect Bryan's wishes. I tried to explain my feelings but they told me to post here. AITA?

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Foo Diddley posted:

hosed up posting this the first time, lol

anyway CW: humiliation and disrespect for NO REASON AT ALL

AITA for telling my nephew to make amends with his estranged sister?


quote:

She goes to church with me, and Bryan and his wife haven't stepped foot into a church in a long time.

:thunk:

Why is this at all relevant

edogawa rando
Mar 20, 2007

I'm guessing she thinks this makes Brenda a good person, while she's evidently incapable of just asking why an apparently increasing number of people in her orbit hates her loving guts.

boofhead
Feb 18, 2021

OP also gets a quip in about Bryan's wife being "too good to come" to a family event that she'd have to travel a ways to be at, but Brenda gets a free pass because she's "out of town" at the time

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat

boofhead posted:

OP also gets a quip in about Bryan's wife being "too good to come" to a family event that she'd have to travel a ways to be at, but Brenda gets a free pass because she's "out of town" at the time

yeah i can't imagine why bryan moved 13 hours away from these people and won't come "back home". doesn't he care about how bad he's making OP look?

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

AITA for temporarily staying with my mom while recieving treatement despite my husband's disapproval?

quote:

I (F31) started having health decline since the end of past year. I recently got diagnosed with a medical condition that require delicate care and treatment. The issue is, as a sahw I spend most of my day at home by myself while my husband work long hours. In order for me to get treatment I need someone to stay withe me. Not just that but I handle most household chores and won't be able to continue to do that, in fact, I will need someone to take care of me.

My husband and I talked about this. I gave him a number of suggestions that I'll mention down below.

(1) asking my mom to move in with us to help, but he refused.

(2) getting a nurse/maid to help me out;/take care of the house, but he refused.

(3) having him take time off work to stay home with me, but he complained about having to focus on work.

(4) finally, getting someone from his family or my friends to stay with us but he refused and said it'd make him look like he's "useless".

We had an argument after he declined all previous options and insisted that I "just try and do my best and will manage just fine" meaning he expected me to go through treatment while still cleaning/cooking and also with no help whatsoever. He swore that if I go ahead with any of those options then he won't speak to me for a whole year. I've decided to just go stay with my mom (2hr drive from home) temporarily til I finish treatment and that was my final decision.

Once he found out he started calling me panicing and arguing saying I had no right to make this kind of decision with his input. Went on about how he, and the house are a mess and urged me to return. I stopped arguing but he kept begging me to return and went on and on about how he, and the house are empty and cold without my presence.

His mom got involved and shamed me for "turning her son's routine upside down and messing with his work schedule" and told me to basically suck it up because she was in my shoes and managed just fine with 4 kids on top of that....so I'm "clearly" just acting spoiled and immature. now he don't call or even respond, AITA here?

"Honey, why are you calling? I still get 11 months of peace and quiet!"

B-Rock452
Jan 6, 2005
:justflu:

Hughlander posted:

AITA for temporarily staying with my mom while recieving treatement despite my husband's disapproval?


"Honey, why are you calling? I still get 11 months of peace and quiet!"

So does he just want her to not get treatment and die cause holy poo poo as someone whose wife was diagnosed with colon cancer a month after our youngest was born I want to do horrible things to this man...

Also holy gently caress his mom. I am proud to say my mother would actually murder me if I pulled that poo poo with my wife.

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Foo Diddley posted:


AITA for telling my nephew to make amends with his estranged sister?

quote:

He also claims that Brenda stole his inheritance. Brenda can be spirited and emotional sometimes, and she says things she doesn't mean, but she's a good person with a big heart.

quote:

I stayed out of the inheritance situation because it's none of my business.

Perhaps she stole it, perhaps not. Who am I to say? She's a kind and loving person either way :shrug:

AngryRobotsInc
Aug 2, 2011

Hughlander posted:

AITA for temporarily staying with my mom while recieving treatement despite my husband's disapproval?


"Honey, why are you calling? I still get 11 months of peace and quiet!"

Commenters at least seem to be fairly unanimous on "Divorce his rear end".

Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for telling my wife she wasn’t trying hard enough?

The wife’s post apparently on justNoMIL.

MIL contacted me after months of NC.

quote:

Long post, please bare with me and thank you to anyone reading.

I’ve posted here quite a bit and for about half a year I’ve been completely no contact with MIL. I’ve had her blocked on everything or I was at least under the impression that she still was. Email, Facebook, Instagram, Text/Call. All platforms I had stopped all contact.

Back in April of this year my previous phone had randomly died on me. That same day I got myself a replacement and with that, I transferred my SIM. I’m sure this was really stupid of me and I’m really mad at myself because I hadn’t double checked everything. To make a long story short, my MIL was no longer blocked and could contact me through text and calls. That block didn’t transfer and I had no idea it wouldn’t. For months I had not heard a single thing from her and she constantly went around telling people about how much she has tried to reach me and has not succeeded due to me blocking her. I genuinely believed I had nothing to worry about.

Yesterday I had woken up from a nap to see I had a text from an unknown number. Honestly, I thought this text was from my abusive father because the text said something along the lines of how words have been manipulated into something far from the truth and we used to be super close and how family means everything. It was long so that’s a brief summary but overall, it was super manipulative and quite similar to things I’ve received in the past from my father. I sent a screenshot to my SO quite frantic that my father had found a way to contact me and I was scared. It then dawned on me that I should look up the number to verify and low and behold my google search unveiled the name of my MIL’s business. The disbelief and shock I felt in that moment was so intense. For months I had been under the impression I could heal at my own pace and that she genuinely couldn’t access me at all, I felt like a friggen moron. Still do.

I don’t want to get into what transpired between SO and I. All I know is that my marriage is in shambles and I have both a SO and MIL issue. With all of this being said, in the text I received there was a piece where it talked about wanting to take me out to lunch this weekend in a public place to hash things out and set the record straight. Again, this is something my father has told me before which is further reason I didn’t even think twice initially. Against what others would most likely advise I did send a reply. I stated that I appreciate her reaching out but that I have seen all the proof from direct sources regarding what she has openly posted and said about me. I stated that my feelings have been hurt and that there has never been any manipulation on her behalf regarding her feelings about me and that I need a sincere apology over text to even consider meeting her this weekend. I really should’ve blocked her. While I know I have control of my actions part of the issue was what my SO was texting me at the same time and pushing me to do. I felt like I was speaking up and standing up for myself after all these months of abuse and harassment.

Her reply was typical of her, stating she has a right to her feelings and thoughts about me and that they are valid. She said she is sorry that I feel that way about what she has done and said but that this is why she wants to meet this weekend to repair things and move on. I was still respectful and stated that saying “I’m sorry YOU feel that way about what I have done” is manipulative and not an apology. I restated that until I have even a slight “I’m sorry” I’m not willing to meet up. I told her that if my SO wants to see her then that is his choice and I’d never hold him back from that. However, I felt different.

I have my own life and my own responsibilities. I personally didn’t feel like meeting her for a 50/50 chance of walking away with an apology or even more damage and manipulation. To me, it wouldn’t be worth it. I’ve been through this before and know I needed something small to even consider seeing her being a good choice this weekend. At this point, I was in a public space away from my phone and I missed a call from her. It was unintentional and had no malice. After missing her call, MIL’s text back was talking about how she has tried fixing this and is not going to talk about all of this over a text. It had to be a phone call. That missing her call was me not trying and that she is done.

That was the ending of the whole interaction there was no further contact and I have no intention of pursuing conversation with her. Again, through all of this I further support my feelings about my MIL and my SO’s actions and words following this interaction have me thinking a lot into where I go from here.

Edit: Hello everyone, I truly was not expecting to see all of these comments as I logged on this afternoon. I am currently overwhelmed with a lot of emotions. However, the amount of support I have received in my comments as well as all the advice has me very emotional. This situation is really difficult and the amount of kindness being shown is helping me so much with the internal battles and decisions I am currently making. I really love and appreciate you all. I have never felt so validated, heard, and supported and I will forever appreciate each and every one of you.

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

AITA for asking my roomate to stop speaking Arabic?

What isn't "ideal" about Sarah speaking Arabic with her folks, OP? What does speaking Arabic have to do with her being "very Muslim"? I think the racism and Islamophobia didn't start with your parents coming up from Georgia.

Whilst it is clear that OP and OP's parents are super racist and islamophobic, from the tone of the post I would argue that they would be just as "offended" if the roommate was speaking Norwegian, or Korean, or Xhosa, or god forbid Spanish on the phone to their relatives/friends.

Either way gently caress them and their racist arses.

quantumwell
Jun 22, 2013

BrigadierSensible posted:

Whilst it is clear that OP and OP's parents are super racist and islamophobic, from the tone of the post I would argue that they would be just as "offended" if the roommate was speaking Norwegian, or Korean, or Xhosa, or god forbid Spanish on the phone to their relatives/friends.

Hurr Durr, This is AMERICA speak our official language ENGLISH !

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

BrigadierSensible posted:

Whilst it is clear that OP and OP's parents are super racist and islamophobic, from the tone of the post I would argue that they would be just as "offended" if the roommate was speaking Norwegian, or Korean, or Xhosa, or god forbid Spanish on the phone to their relatives/friends.

Either way gently caress them and their racist arses.

No, I'm pretty sure with the focus on the roommate's daring to Muslim around rudely, it's clear it's Islamophobia. Especially once you add the clarification comments.

AreWeDrunkYet
Jul 8, 2006

How do I get my husband to stop going 'Goblin Mode' during sex?

quote:

TLDR; My husband says 'Goblin Mode activated' when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says 'Goblin Mode off' when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward.

I really love my husband and he's always been great in bed. But recently he's been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in 'Goblin Mode'. We didn't really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. He's an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time I've ever seen him cry. I think since then, he's been a little emotionally unwell. I've heard him muttering, 'Goblin' repeatedly when he didn't notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said 'Goblin Mode activated', starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex I've ever had, but I'm worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice?

Edit: The problem isn't the 'Goblin Mode', it's that he could be ill

Edit 2: For all those saying I shouldn't have sent my son away, here's some context

I love my son, but he's gone too far and I don't know where to start

quote:

So for some background information, my son is 5 years old, starting kindergarten next year, and was a nice, normal, and pretty smart kid. But yesterday, he said he was going 'Goblin Mode' and hid in his room all day. At first I thought is was just a silly kid thing and when I asked online, I heard it meant it meant 'not being civilized' or something, so I just figured he was playing a game. However, he would not even come out for dinner and just growled in his room when asked to come out, and just stayed in his room all night. Today he finally opened his door and walked out all hunched over (I suppose like a goblin). I went up to him to ask if he wanted breakfast, but then he screamed as loud as he could, and ran as fast as he could, grabbed a chair, and smashed the TV in our living room. He kept running around for two hours straight smashing and destroying our entire house and rubbing his feces on his wall. By the time he stopped, literally everything was destroyed, and somehow, every wall had his feces on it. When he stopped, he said 'Goblin Mode deactivated' and just fell on the floor asleep. What the hell just happened? Up until that point, he was a really nice and smart and overall normal kid. I love him so much but I think he needs help. What should I do?

value-brand cereal
May 2, 2008

BrigadierSensible posted:

Whilst it is clear that OP and OP's parents are super racist and islamophobic, from the tone of the post I would argue that they would be just as "offended" if the roommate was speaking Norwegian, or Korean, or Xhosa, or god forbid Spanish on the phone to their relatives/friends.

Either way gently caress them and their racist arses.

Why would you argue this? Who's asking you to argue this? The devil? Don't listen to the devil, nobody likes that advocating poo poo.

Car Hater
May 7, 2007

wolf. bike.
Wolf. Bike.
Wolf! Bike!
WolfBike!
WolfBike!
ARROOOOOO!
Goblin Goon mode activated

SirSamVimes
Jul 21, 2008

~* Challenge *~


quote:

Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said 'Goblin Mode activated', starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex I've ever had, but I'm worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice?

lmao

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

I love my son, but he's gone too far and I don't know where to start

y'all couldn't restrain a 5 year old? just had to sit there helplessly while he broke everything and smeared poo poo on the wreckage?

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos
What a strange way to find that you married into the Fey Folk.

The Bramble
Mar 16, 2004

Reposting this classic from earlier in the thread:

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

quote:

I don’t know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe it’s my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally I’ll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then I’ll walk around my house and pick up various different “trinkets” and put them in my bag while saying stuff like “I’ll be having that” and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (“trinkets” can include anything from poo poo I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. I’m 99% sure they don’t know it’s me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

The Bramble posted:

Reposting this classic from earlier in the thread:

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

Ah, "my goblin voice", sure. Please do not elaborate.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
Yeah sorry, your husband is a goblin and your son is half-goblin

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply