Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

Soapy_Bumslap: Jun 19, 2013; We're gonna need a bigger chode; Grimey Drawer

lmao i think they took that "jim cramer said it's going down so it's going to the moon" crack literally and started buying because it's been getting a solid pump over the last hour

# ? Jul 5, 2022 21:00

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# ? May 30, 2024 21:54

HolHorsejob: Mar 14, 2020; Portrait of Cheems II of Spain by Jabona Neftman, olo pint on fird

LifeSunDeath posted:

Jim Cramer looks like an ape holder

what part of the ape is he holding, and how hard is he holding it?

# ? Jul 5, 2022 21:06

MickeyFinn: May 8, 2007; Biggie Smalls and Junior Mafia some mark ass bitches

HolHorsejob posted:

what part of the ape is he holding, and how hard is he holding it?

Eye watering ape squeezer.

# ? Jul 5, 2022 21:23

Nessus: Dec 22, 2003; After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!

Slurp juice trying to get an ape squeezy

# ? Jul 5, 2022 21:25

for fucks sake: Jan 23, 2016

Has anyone said "the grapeist" yet

# ? Jul 5, 2022 21:33

frameset: Apr 13, 2008

Nessus posted:

Slurp juice trying to get an ape squeezy

Incredible.

# ? Jul 5, 2022 21:42

biglads: Feb 21, 2007; I could've gone to Blatherwycke

How about heaps of human poo poo

....but on the blockchain :smuggo:

What do you mean we already have that?

# ? Jul 5, 2022 23:10

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Nessus posted:

Slurp juice trying to get an ape squeezy

# ? Jul 5, 2022 23:18

Pham Nuwen: Oct 30, 2010

Nessus posted:

Slurp juice trying to get an ape squeezy

# ? Jul 5, 2022 23:35

Hector Delgado: Sep 23, 2007; Time for shore leave!!

DominoKitten posted:

Uuuuuuh how does one “get delivery” without roads, barring some massive advance in drone tech

Sam Porter Bridges

# ? Jul 5, 2022 23:49

Cacafuego: Jul 22, 2007

Nessus posted:

Slurp juice trying to get an ape squeezy

# ? Jul 6, 2022 01:13

Squinky v2.0: Nov 16, 2006; Behind you! A three headed monkey!; College Slice

Klyith posted:

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/05/business/economy/wall-st-cryptocurrency-prices.html

Dear god, all the people who have ruined their lives but still can't admit that they got fooled.

next time, I'm gonna kick that football!

I was going to take the bitcoins out and pay down credit card debt. The very next day! But then this happened!

# ? Jul 6, 2022 02:13

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

Squinky v2.0 posted:

I was going to take the bitcoins out and pay down credit card debt. The very next day! But then this happened!

It just makes sense to carry five figures of comparatively low APR credit card debt when 40% crypto returns are a lock! :wotwot:

Seriously though the thought of 30k in credit card debt makes me nauseous.

# ? Jul 6, 2022 03:25

Neito: Feb 18, 2009; 😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

It just makes sense to carry five figures of comparatively low APR credit card debt when 40% crypto returns are a lock!

Seriously though the thought of 30k in credit card debt makes me nauseous.

I don't even like carrying a balance on my card from paycheck to paycheck. loving hell....

# ? Jul 6, 2022 05:03

Dr. Phildo: Dec 8, 2003; Except the heaven had come so near,
So seemed to choose my door,The distance would not haunt me so; Soiled Meat

Best part of bitcoin getting above 20k is watching it fall back to 19

# ? Jul 6, 2022 06:16

Number19: May 14, 2003; HOCKEY OWNS
FUCK YEAH

https://twitter.com/Chapter11Cases/status/1544525094625607680?s=20&t=ffw7XifOnvFhFNMQ4ItoCQ

lmao

# ? Jul 6, 2022 07:18

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

DominoKitten posted:

Uuuuuuh how does one “get delivery” without roads, barring some massive advance in drone tech

Pneumatic tubes

# ? Jul 6, 2022 07:23

Tricky Ed: Aug 18, 2010; It is important to avoid confusion. This is the one that's okay to lick.

steinrokkan posted:

Pneumatic tubes

Sounds like a great plan for soup!

https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1280975449485651969?lang=en

# ? Jul 6, 2022 07:47

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

Number19 posted:

https://twitter.com/Chapter11Cases/status/1544525094625607680?s=20&t=ffw7XifOnvFhFNMQ4ItoCQ

lmao

FUNDS ARE SAFE_{ly in the hands of Voyager's secured creditors.}

:angel:

# ? Jul 6, 2022 07:52

MechaCrash: Jan 1, 2013

"Soup tube" sounds like the kind of thing a six year old would have as part of their dream city.

# ? Jul 6, 2022 09:21

IPCRESS: May 27, 2012

Didn't the USAF invent the soup tube already in like the 1950s?

# ? Jul 6, 2022 10:10

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

If the MIC had invented the soup tube(TM) there would be several percents of the national budget dedicated to maintaining and expanding the soup tube (TM) infrastructure despite the fact nobody really likes the soup

# ? Jul 6, 2022 10:17

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Tricky Ed posted:

Sounds like a great plan for soup!

https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1280975449485651969?lang=en

i already get my soup in tubes. they're just real short tubes, closed off at both ends

# ? Jul 6, 2022 10:52

Darth TNT: Sep 20, 2013

Number19 posted:

https://twitter.com/Chapter11Cases/status/1544525094625607680?s=20&t=ffw7XifOnvFhFNMQ4ItoCQ

lmao

Why don't these bankrupties seem to tank the price? You'd think with each confirmed bankruptcy more bankrun would happen.

# ? Jul 6, 2022 11:07

ilmucche: Mar 16, 2016; What did you say the strategy was?

Darth TNT posted:

Why don't these bankrupties seem to tank the price? You'd think with each confirmed bankruptcy more bankrun would happen.

Nah, it's good for crypto because

# ? Jul 6, 2022 11:15

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Tricky Ed posted:

Sounds like a great plan for soup!

https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1280975449485651969?lang=en

Who needs soup tubes when you already have the The Alameda-Weehawken Burrito Tunnel

# ? Jul 6, 2022 11:18

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

https://twitter.com/CrucialMemory/status/1544444773599248384

# ? Jul 6, 2022 11:36

Soapy_Bumslap: Jun 19, 2013; We're gonna need a bigger chode; Grimey Drawer

My gut tells me that the true believer types feel like a rapture is near and keep pumping money into it. Just a guess though, because the 2 main guys I keep an eye on for this sort of thing have been unusually, extremely quiet for the last 2 months

# ? Jul 6, 2022 11:38

LibCrusher: Jan 6, 2019; by Fluffdaddy

Collateral Damage posted:

Who needs soup tubes when you already have the The Alameda-Weehawken Burrito Tunnel

I will always read this when it�s posted

# ? Jul 6, 2022 11:40

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Donovan Trip posted:

hi guys, i haven't posted since december 2020 in this very thread. Since then I turned 8k into enough for a new car, a house, a restaurant, to start a family, and built a huge network leading me to take my first role at a crypto company in April. I hope you all had as great a time as I did!

Donovan Trip posted:

Sigh.

I will check back in another two years and let you know how it went, <3

Kinda wanna speed up the timeline here and get a trip report pls

# ? Jul 6, 2022 12:10

Darth TNT: Sep 20, 2013

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

https://twitter.com/CrucialMemory/status/1544444773599248384

https://twitter.com/CrucialMemory/status/1544559852357267456?s=20&t=d4Na41uB1QxYWptPMTgZog

:hmmyes:

# ? Jul 6, 2022 12:13

The Saddest Rhino: Apr 29, 2009; Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.

Seth Pecksniff posted:

Kinda wanna speed up the timeline here and get a trip report pls

Lol 😏

# ? Jul 6, 2022 12:26

putin is a cunt: Apr 5, 2007; BOY DO I SURE ENJOY TRASH. THERE'S NOTHING MORE I LOVE THAN TO SIT DOWN IN FRONT OF THE BIG SCREEN AND EAT A BIIIIG STEAMY BOWL OF SHIT. WARNER BROS CAN COME OVER TO MY HOUSE AND ASSFUCK MY MOM WHILE I WATCH AND I WOULD CERTIFY IT FRESH, NO QUESTION

https://www.thestreet.com/technology/mark-zuckerberg-facebook-quietly-abandon-their-in-house-venmo

quote:

Mark Zuckerberg and his company, Meta Platforms (META) - Get Meta Platforms Inc. Report, no longer have a digital payments project.

This is good for Bitcoin

# ? Jul 6, 2022 12:30

Tebulot: Apr 25, 2007; im hip now bois; Pillbug

putin is a oval office posted:

https://www.thestreet.com/technology/mark-zuckerberg-facebook-quietly-abandon-their-in-house-venmo

This is good for Bitcoin

Lol this is good for everything

# ? Jul 6, 2022 12:48

notwithoutmyanus: Mar 17, 2009

Soapy_Bumslap posted:

My gut tells me that the true believer types feel like a rapture is near and keep pumping money into it. Just a guess though, because the 2 main guys I keep an eye on for this sort of thing have been unusually, extremely quiet for the last 2 months

I would suspect accordingly, but that's just crypto in general. Everyone believing all things are good.

TA usually relies on looking at a specific time series. It all rolls downhill like a waterfall from smallest to biggest timeframe, and now we're heading into weekly bearish metrics (believe it or not it's still been 100% bullish on weekly until after this week closes). If we close under 20kish it'll be the first time ever from a weekly average perspective. So we're making new history for Bitcoin, discovery of where a bottom is.

# ? Jul 6, 2022 13:04

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Darth TNT posted:

https://twitter.com/CrucialMemory/status/1544559852357267456?s=20&t=d4Na41uB1QxYWptPMTgZog

finally some good NFT marketing

# ? Jul 6, 2022 13:04

toiletbrush: May 17, 2010

Number19 posted:

https://twitter.com/Chapter11Cases/status/1544525094625607680?s=20&t=ffw7XifOnvFhFNMQ4ItoCQ

lmao

What's the outlook for people with crypto and USD with Voyager? There's a dude going nuts in the reddit thread replying to every post that chapter 11 is totes normal day-to-day stuff for a business and that because Voyager themselves don't hold customer's money, customers will be able to get their money back, and its just the crypto that is gone. My understanding was that wasn't really true and it was spelled out in the fine print.

# ? Jul 6, 2022 13:24

notwithoutmyanus: Mar 17, 2009

toiletbrush posted:

What's the outlook for people with crypto and USD with Voyager? There's a dude going nuts in the reddit thread replying to every post that chapter 11 is totes normal day-to-day stuff for a business and that because Voyager themselves don't hold customer's money, customers will be able to get their money back, and its just the crypto that is gone. My understanding was that wasn't really true and it was spelled out in the fine print.

Hard hosed. I'm not a customer but on their mailing list:

Voyager bankruptcy email posted:

Dear customer,

Earlier today, we began a restructuring process aimed at strengthening Voyager Digital’s financial position. To accomplish this goal, the company and its main operating subsidiaries voluntarily filed for Chapter 11 protection.

Given the confidence you placed in Voyager when you joined the platform, we know this may be disconcerting news. To that end, we want you to know that we made these decisions specifically to protect and maximize the value of the assets on the platform for all stakeholders, including you, our customers, who remain our focus.

To be clear: This does NOT mean Voyager is going out of business. The restructuring process is intended to help companies stay in business, which is exactly what we intend to do. Being able to continue operations is a key benefit of a restructuring, a well-established legal process through which companies reorganize their financial obligations. In the meantime, we are continuing discussions with various parties regarding the company’s go-forward strategy.

Voyager was created with the idea that investors deserve a platform that provides access to crypto assets with simplicity, speed, liquidity, and transparency. While we strongly believe in this future, the prolonged volatility and contagion in the crypto markets over the past few months, and the default of Three Arrows Capital (“3AC”) on a loan from Voyager, made this course of action necessary. Through this process, we intend to create an efficient path to resume account access and return value to customers. We are also pursuing all available remedies for recovery from 3AC, including through the court-supervised processes in the British Virgin Islands and New York.

The proposed Plan of Reorganization (“Plan”) would, upon implementation, resume account access and return value to customers. Under this Plan, which is subject to change given ongoing discussions with other parties, and requires Court approval, customers with crypto in their account(s) will receive in exchange a combination of the crypto in their account(s), proceeds from the 3AC recovery, common shares in the newly reorganized Company, and Voyager tokens. The plan contemplates an opportunity for customers to elect the proportion of common equity and crypto they will receive, subject to certain maximum thresholds.

Customers with USD deposits in their account(s) will receive access to those funds after a reconciliation and fraud prevention process is completed with Metropolitan Commercial Bank. The Company continues to evaluate all strategic alternatives to maximize value for stakeholders.

Tldr: 3ac hosed us and you all are hosed. You can get less back than you put in or be hosed.

# ? Jul 6, 2022 13:32

tehinternet: Feb 14, 2005; Semantically, "you" is both singular and plural, though syntactically it is always plural. It always takes a verb form that originally marked the word as plural.

Also, there is no plural when the context is an argument with an individual rather than a group. Somfin shouldn't put words in my mouth.

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

https://twitter.com/CrucialMemory/status/1544444773599248384

This owns and gives NFTs the respect that they deserve

# ? Jul 6, 2022 14:14

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# ? May 30, 2024 21:54

Beached Whale: Jun 27, 2009; The world as will and idea

Leading NFT market analyst with valuable insight into the cryptosphere

https://twitter.com/NFT_GOD/status/1544321751403925505

# ? Jul 6, 2022 14:43

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