r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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Hughlander: May 11, 2005

AITA for kicking my maid of honour and her mother out of my wedding?

quote:

I (28 f) recently got married to my husband (31 m). It was a big wedding and it was amazing. My best friend L (27 f) was my maid of honour and she helped with all of my wedding plans. She helped me make my wedding what it was and I was extremely grateful.

I decided to let my bridesmaids pick out their own dresses I just gave them a colour scheme to match. The problem came when my niece (14 f) came to the wedding in the same dress as L. I noticed and found it funny as they both had the same hair colour and my niece looked like a mini L. The dress didn't look that much like a bridesmaid dress and the it looked amazing on both of them. L pulled me aside and started ranting about how my 'bratty' teen niece came in the same dress as her. I brushed it off and said that the dress doesn't really scream bridesmaid so it's not like she wore a full of ballgown. L then said that she needs to change her dress. I asked why and she said that she looks better in it and her wearing it is gonna take away from her shine. I then told her that it shouldn't be her shine, it's my wedding and if she's wearing that dress then I'm not gonna be the one to make her change.

We moved on from it until L's mother came and screamed at me for 'ruining her baby's day'. I said it's not her day and if they both carried on like this they would be removed from the wedding. She said fine and walked away. Not even minutes later my niece came to me crying because L's mother spilt red wine on her dress. I tried my best to get it off but it was no use I had a couple dresses in my car for if any of my bridesmaids had an issue with theirs and luckily one fit her nicely. She thanked me and went back to the party. I went to L's mother and brought her aside and yelled at her. She told me that she didn't want to but L told her to. I said I didn't believe her and told her to leave my wedding straight away. I then went to L and told her what her mother said. She then told me that she did tell her mum to spill the wine because she knew I had spare dresses in the car so it wouldn't matter. I told her to leave and told her I needed some time away from her. She refused to I ended up having to practically push her out of the venue.

Her and her mother have been sending me horrible texts and I don't know whether I did the right thing by kicking them out. Am I the rear end in a top hat?

This is really something...

# ? Jul 22, 2022 03:34

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# ? May 25, 2024 14:08

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Hughlander posted:

AITA for kicking my maid of honour and her mother out of my wedding?

This is really something...

Maid of Dishonor

# ? Jul 22, 2022 03:40

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

WIBTA for telling my landlord about my neighbor coming into our apartment when we aren't home?

quote:

I live in a duplex apartment with my boyfriend (26F and 27M). We live on the downstairs floor and have a neighbor upstairs who is a single mom (I think she's around our age, late 20s or early 30s). Her child is f young (under 1) and cries often, but it doesn't bother us and we are understanding of that.

She has been living here longer than us, and since moving in we've had a very friendly relationship, and have hung out with her multiple times. I've even offered to babysit if she ever needs and I am available. So nothing seemed off until recently.

A couple weeks ago, I was home alone getting ready in the bathroom and I heard our front door open. I thought it was just my boyfriend coming home early, but it was odd that he'd come in through the front door as we usually both use the back door. I waited a few minutes and then went out to talk to him, and found our neighbor sitting on the couch. She seemed super shocked to see me, and I was just confused about what she was doing. She apologized and I was just like "oh i didn't know you were coming over" and she said something along the lines of "sorry I forget to text you." The whole thing was awkward and she left quickly. I texted my boyfriend about it and he also did not know she was going to come down to our apartment. I realized later that my car wasn't parked in our shared driveway (I parked it down the street that night to avoid blocking my boyfriend in). So I thought maybe she didn't think I was home?

I tried to brush it off but yesterday when I came home from work, she was sitting on my couch watching TV. I'm not a confrontational person, so I just said, "if you'd like to come over just text me so that you know I'm home." And she confessed to me that she's been coming down to our apartment when her baby is asleep for alone time. She wanted to be able to get out of her apartment without leaving the baby completely alone, so I guess just walking into our apartment downstairs seemed ok to her?

She went back upstairs and we left it at me asking her to make sure I'm home if she'd like to come over. I'm torn by the situation, I don't know if I can continue to trust her since she has been lying for possibly months about entering our apartment without permission. Even though I haven't noticed things missing, I don't know if I can trust that she won't try to come back and take things in the future. I want to tell the landlord so he is aware of the issue, but I don't want her housing situation to be in jeopardy since she is a single mom. WIBTA if I told him whats been going on?

# ? Jul 22, 2022 03:57

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for deliberately telling my FMIL the wrong name of our baby?

quote:

I 23F and my fianc� 25M are expecting a baby girl next month, we�re really excited as this is our first child and we�ve been trying to prepare for parenthood. A lot of our family have been helping us with baby stuff and giving us general advice, they�re also really super excited for her! Especially my FMIL.

She�s a very stubborn person and hasn�t really accepted me as apart of the family yet, she always tells my fianc� how he could do so much better than me and that he�s fallen into the trap of having �my� child. It�s hurt me a lot and my fianc� has had a talk to her about it but she still hasn�t apologised or anything so I just tend to ignore it now. She�s also one of them mums who posts every little detail of their life to Facebook like when my fianc� proposed she was straight to Facebook before we could announce it ourselves.

Recently me and my fianc� have been coming up with names for our little girl and we both decided on the perfect name. A few days ago on a phone call my fianc� accidentally slips up by telling my FMIL that we�ve chosen a name. She�s been non stop messaging us and calling us to find out the name, we don�t want to tell her until the baby is born so that it doesn�t ruin the surprise and the whole of Facebook finds out before we are comfortable telling everyone. She tried guilt tripping my fianc� by telling him how he�s hurting her by not telling his own mother the name of her grandchild, that he doesn�t love him and that we (especially me) are gonna try and keep her from seeing the baby. I�m not sure why she would think that as nothing we have said has suggested it. To stop her from getting on my fianc�s back I wrote a message saying that if she wants to know she can�t post it on Facebook, she agreed and I told her a fake name. 5 minutes later into checking FB.

�I can�t believe I�m going to be a granny to baby Charlotte next month. So proud of (fianc�s name) and his partner!�

My fianc� was furious and called her and told her that she was wrong to announce it. She said that she was so overjoyed by it that she couldn�t resist. He told her how that wasn�t even the name and that we aren�t gonna tell her until she�s born and hung up. Its been afew days and my fianc� has been getting texts from her saying that she didn�t mean and that I�m the AH for telling her the wrong name. Her words were �Who even tells their FMIL the wrong name of their grandchild?�.

AITA?

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:12

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Cowslips Warren posted:

It seems almost silly to think about now, but about 30 years ago when there was no real internet, outside of maybe a dial-up AOL, pretty much any kind of sex ed that you could get that wasn't in school was hearing what your older siblings or friends would tell you. So needless to say I had no idea the girls could even masturbate until I was well into my twenties. That area was always down there and considered dirty slash only for my boyfriend or husband to use.

We really need comprehensive sex ed in this country. Cover consent, cover non piv sex, cover all kinds of masturbation and lube etc etc. We don't have to go into the full kinks, ah yeah some people like to roleplay as animals etc but at the very least if we're open about the basic stuff, less people would get injured. But then we wouldn't be able to shame kids for having sex so your mileage may vary.

As for the pegging story I'm still confused as to what he thought that actually was?

Relatedly reminded of how for years apparently Cosmo sex tips were infamous for telling young women advice along the lines of 'stick a finger in his butt without warning, he'll like it'

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:16

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Soak a cotton swab in Frank's Red Hot and stick it in his urethra before oral sex if you don't like the taste.

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:18

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

It was half that and half smearing food all over each other

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:19

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Nancy posted:

Honestly even if it was a super quick flip then NTA.

Life is too short to spend it in Ohio & the parents should be happy their kid & his family got out.

edit: also something with strings isn't a "gift." It can be a bribe, purchase, manipulation, trade, blackmail, etc. etc. but it isn't a gift.

"Favour sharking" is a thing where someone does something for you unasked to create an obligation on your part. The parents were gift sharking.

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:20

Barudak: May 7, 2007

haveblue posted:

It was half that and half smearing food all over each other

I remember the one where it recommended you blind fold him with his tie then slap his balls. Just a collision of impractical (who are you loving that wears a tie?) and hilarious (don't even ask him, just hit them balls)

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:25

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Sorry your standards are so low but that motherfucker better be wearing a tie and spats.

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:26

Serephina: Nov 8, 2005; 恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー

I mean call me jaded, but I kinda don't think it's devious when parents buy a house for their kids under the condition that they stay nearby. The intentions are pretty clear! But I'm not sure even my broke rear end woulda taken the money if I hated the town, five years or no.

edit:
Relatedly, we turned down any financial assistance from my folks for our wedding, after what they pulled on my sister. My wife contacted a family friend for help with something that'd take five minutes, and was surprised when said acquaintance asked where her invite was. I laughed at told her that's her problem with the numbers, not mine/my side. I think the moral is that there's an onus for accepting things, as most people aren't good enough to give gifts with no expectations. My MIL is a saint and I get spoiled sometimes and forget how normal people work.

Serephina fucked around with this message at 04:37 on Jul 22, 2022

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:28

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Relatedly reminded of how for years apparently Cosmo sex tips were infamous for telling young women advice along the lines of 'stick a finger in his butt without warning, he'll like it'

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:32

Baron von Eevl: Jan 24, 2005; WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR
🔊😴

Megillah Gorilla posted:

"Favour sharking" is a thing where someone does something for you unasked to create an obligation on your part. The parents were gift sharking.

Nah, then they would have just pulled out and asked for a bigger favor by saying "and then you sold the house!" They wanted them close and figured buying them out was reasonable.

Serephina posted:

I mean call me jaded, but I kinda don't think it's devious when parents buy a house for their kids under the condition that they stay nearby.

I agree, but they gotta be upfront about that right away, before the house is bought. Maybe they were in this case, the OP obviously knew that's what was up considering they repeatedly sat their mother down to explain that eventually they would move away knowing she wouldn't be happy about it.

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:32

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

And flavor sharking is what Guy Fieri calls oral sex.

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:34

LanceHunter: Nov 12, 2016; Beautiful People Club

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA? My Best Friend Got 3 Readings On Me Behind My Back.

https://twitter.com/katiestonemakes/status/1535744190436388869

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:34

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Sorry your standards are so low but that motherfucker better be wearing a tie and spats.

Ties are for service employees and people who have to be in court, and, I guess, dangerously alcoholic detectives

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:34

Jam With Seeds: Dec 20, 2008

Megillah Gorilla posted:

"Favour sharking" is a thing where someone does something for you unasked to create an obligation on your part. The parents were gift sharking.

Here's a house do do do do dodo
Take this house do do do do dodo
Never leave do do do do dodo
You betrayed me do do do do dodo

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:35

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

Pope Corky the IX posted:

And flavor sharking is what Guy Fieri calls oral sex.

and now so do I

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:36

Hobnob: Feb 23, 2006; Ursa Adorandum

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Relatedly reminded of how for years apparently Cosmo sex tips were infamous for telling young women advice along the lines of 'stick a finger in his butt without warning, he'll like it'

Ah, this must be the soft pegging I was hearing about.

Barudak posted:

I remember the one where it recommended you blind fold him with his tie then slap his balls. Just a collision of impractical (who are you loving that wears a tie?) and hilarious (don't even ask him, just hit them balls)

Perhaps the Cosmo sex-tip team was chock full of hard-core sadiists just continually egging each other on. "This month, branding and scarification moves that will drive your man wild."

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:37

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Hobnob posted:

Ah, this must be the soft pegging I was hearing about.

Perhaps the Cosmo sex-tip team was chock full of hard-core sadiists just continually egging each other on. "This month, branding and scarification moves that will drive your man wild."

Cosmo: "We have such sex moves to show youuu" :cenobite:

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:39

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Cosmo: "15 sex moves using your knee that will drive him WILD!"

Teen Vogue: "Capitalism must be crushed and the scourge of the billionaire class must be eradicated"

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:43

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

I mean really, don't ever accept things like this from family. I'm sure there are some truly aspirational exceptions to this rule, but it's generally a bad idea.

Edit: "this" being cosmo magazine, not a house

We accepted a 40k gift from my in laws when we were buying a home. I didn't want it, but they fell all over themselves saying it was truly a gift, that all they wanted was for us to pay it forward when our kid was grown.

My wife said no, we'll take the money but pay you back. My MIL insisted it was fine, but we started paying them back about 5k twice a year.

Year 3, bad poo poo goes down, and we have a falling out. Now MIL is telling the whole family how we took advantage of them and aren't even paying them interest. You know, on the gift. It's so bad my wife's grandmother won't speak to her anymore because she thinks we're assholes. MIL demands the balance, all at once. Fine whatever, thank God we're blessed to be in a positron to make it work. We sell the house, move, and pay her the balance.

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:43

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Hey ladies, do you know what else crochet hooks can be used for?

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:45

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Sounds painful.

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:50

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

sephiRoth IRA posted:

We accepted a 40k gift from my in laws when we were buying a home. I didn't want it, but they fell all over themselves saying it was truly a gift, that all they wanted was for us to pay it forward when our kid was grown.

weird to get a land raider from your parents but maybe they�re just trying to make sure their grandkid doesn�t pick up necrons

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:53

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Hey ladies, do you know what else crochet hooks can be used for?

I keep telling you, earwax should come out naturally. Stop being weird

# ? Jul 22, 2022 04:59

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

when she gave me that swift kick to the balls I knew she was the one

# ? Jul 22, 2022 05:15

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

Mx. posted:

AITA for deliberately telling my FMIL the wrong name of our baby?

A million reasons to go no contact, goddamn

Just keep telling her fake names, I guess? That could be kinda comical

But then go NC

# ? Jul 22, 2022 05:21

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

DeeplyConcerned posted:

when she gave me that swift kick to the balls I knew she was the one

That's literally how my aunt met the father of her children lmao

# ? Jul 22, 2022 05:25

Flared Basic Bitch: Feb 22, 2005; Invading your personal space since 1968.

The Maroon Hawk posted:

That's literally how my aunt met the father of her children lmao

Well now you have to tell us the story.

# ? Jul 22, 2022 05:46

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA? My Best Friend Got 3 Readings On Me Behind My Back.

The_Franz posted:

i'm not sure how to respond as i have no goddamn idea what any of that word salad means

Tarot cards, I think.

# ? Jul 22, 2022 05:59

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Its some kind of psychic reading, could be tarot could be palms could be cutting open a goose and inspecting its liver dots.

What matters is I don't want to offer advice, I decline to provide service, please take your business elsewhere

# ? Jul 22, 2022 06:01

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

AITA for ruining my sister�s boyfriends plan to propose on our family trip to spread my dads ashes?

quote:

My (28f) sister (38f) has been absolutely livid with me and has been distant ever since she found out that I was adamantly against that her boyfriend (41m) is planning to propose on our family trip to Ireland to spread my dads ashes. It happening on this trip bothers me for a number of reasons. 1) this trip is about my dad. His final wishes were to have his ashes spread in Ireland and we are doing it over the 1 year memorial. 2) my mom is paying for the whole trip for everyone including the bf. First class international flights, 5 star stay for a week. I feel like he�s capitalizing on this free trip to make it �special� when he really just can�t afford to take her to Ireland on his own dime so he�s doing it on my moms. 3) who wants their engagement date around the date of their dads death? 4) i feel like this is akin to proposing at a funeral. Who does that!!!

I didn�t really intend for her to find out how I feel about it. I just wanted to vent to some other family members and then work through my own feelings so that the proposal is just a blip on the trip and we can go back to remembering my dad. Unfortunately everyone is apparently a loud mouth.

I sent her an apology text telling her how sorry I am and that I love her and just want her to be happy. But now she�s saying I made her bf feel �unwelcome� in the family and that she doesn�t want it to happen anymore because I ruined it. But I honestly don�t care, he shouldn�t be proposing on this trip. I think it�s inappropriate. AITA?

EDIT: Bf initially asked me for help with the proposal. I felt uneasy about it and told my mom who felt the same as I did. Turns out the bf told my sister anyway his plans so there goes the surprise.

DOUBLE EDIT: I know the first class/5 star comment is a little polarizing but we sold one of my dads possessions to cover the cost of the trip for everyone and to make it as nice as we could given the circumstance �

Time and place, buddy.

# ? Jul 22, 2022 06:42

moonmazed: Dec 27, 2021; by VideoGames

boyfriend kneels to propose just as the wind blows the ashes over everyone else's face, big lebowski style

# ? Jul 22, 2022 06:44

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

moonmazed posted:

boyfriend kneels to propose just as the wind blows the ashes over everyone else's face, big lebowski style

It's what dad would've wanted

# ? Jul 22, 2022 06:45

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

WIBTA for not giving my partner, my car and car of their dreams?

quote:

Me (30m) and partner (75m), we've been together for nearly 10 years

i... i couldn't read any further

# ? Jul 22, 2022 07:37

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Foo Diddley posted:

WIBTA for not giving my partner, my car and car of their dreams?

i... i couldn't read any further

Seems fine, ~~she'll~~ he'll get it back soon with little mileage added

Edit: Heteronormativity strikes again.

Barudak fucked around with this message at 09:29 on Jul 22, 2022

# ? Jul 22, 2022 08:41

PancakeTransmission: May 27, 2007; You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust...; Plaster Town Cop

Barudak posted:

Seems fine, she'll get it back soon with little mileage added

One sentence and you couldn't even read it right

# ? Jul 22, 2022 09:10

Barudak: May 7, 2007

PancakeTransmission posted:

One sentence and you couldn't even read it right

Is the average life expectancy for men way higher than I thought or did I miss he had numenorian ancestry?

Im leaving this as a testament to my confusion thinking I got the ages wrong, laffo

Barudak fucked around with this message at 09:30 on Jul 22, 2022

# ? Jul 22, 2022 09:26

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# ? May 25, 2024 14:08

nonathlon: Jul 9, 2004; And yet, somehow, now it's my fault ...

Lemniscate Blue posted:

AITA for ruining my sister’s boyfriends plan to propose on our family trip to spread my dads ashes?

People seem really bound up in the whole idea of an event proposal - done as a surprise in some exotic or at least interesting location, in public, with a big gesture. Is this some romcom thing? In my circle, the couple usually agrees among themselves and then just announces it.

There was a spate of men proposing at sport games while they were on the camera. I remember at least one woman's extended refusal while everyone tried to talk her into it.

# ? Jul 22, 2022 09:28

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