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Darwinism posted:Why would they make a Fell's Five movie without making it a Fell's Five movie. This is the actual travesty. https://twitter.com/jonrog1/status/1550242183642435584
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Jul 23, 2022 13:08
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Falstaff posted:The thing about Uwe Boll movies of the era, if you were an actor of even middling fame, they were great to star in for the paycheck. Boll would get things wrapped up in a comparatively very short amount of time, and he was famous for treating his actors very well with - no doubt in part due to the fact that none of his movies were actually meant to make money but rather to take advantage of tax loopholes. Nobody expected them to be good so if you felt like phoning it in, who cares? If you had a month between projects and it happened to line up with a Boll project that he's asked you to sign on with, why wouldn't you? It's an easy, quick paycheck that you'd have a fun time doing.
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Jul 23, 2022 15:44
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Comrade Koba posted:"gently caress it, let's just make Monster Manual: The Movie" Eh, if you're going to make a Dungeons and Dragons movie, there's going to be an expectation that you make use of the copyrighted iconic monsters. The old Dungeons and Dragons movie slipped Beholders in just because they could.
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Jul 23, 2022 17:05
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Nuns with Guns posted:Eh, if you're going to make a Dungeons and Dragons movie, there's going to be an expectation that you make use of the copyrighted iconic monsters. The old Dungeons and Dragons movie slipped Beholders in just because they could. Did they I don't remember a Beholder. (Or any iconic monsters outside a Dragon) But it has been forever since I saw that movie.
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Jul 23, 2022 17:07
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Hostile V posted:Sometimes Dave Foley needs money so bad it doesn't matter how much he humiliates himself. And if it means coming in under budget, hey, let Michael Madsen act while piss drunk.
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Jul 23, 2022 17:08
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MonsterEnvy posted:Did they I don't remember a Beholder. (Or any iconic monsters outside a Dragon) But it has been forever since I saw that movie. It's the stupidest throwaway. It's hanging out guarding Blue Lipstick Big Bad's castle, if I remember right. The party gets past it with the "throw a rock to make some noise over there" trick. 
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Jul 23, 2022 17:24
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Son of a Vondruke! posted:I wanna say Jason Statham stars. And maybe Meatloaf is in it. Not sure though. Did you ask Eklund about Boll fighting Lowtax
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Jul 23, 2022 17:29
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In the decade since he rose to prominence I've softened on Boll. If he wants to give actors and gig economy film people a bunch of money as part of a tax dodge, that's a great grift and good on him.
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Jul 23, 2022 18:57
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Froghammer posted:In the decade since he rose to prominence I've softened on Boll. If he wants to give actors and gig economy film people a bunch of money as part of a tax dodge, that's a great grift and good on him. Anybody who beat the poo poo out of Lowtax can't be all bad.
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Jul 23, 2022 19:01
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Boll's early films are worth watching for the anti-cinematography on display. Like, in Alone in the Dark, it's as if he rolled dice to randomly decide which shots would be in ersatz bullet time.
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Jul 23, 2022 19:16
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Nuns with Guns posted:Eh, if you're going to make a Dungeons and Dragons movie, there's going to be an expectation that you make use of the copyrighted iconic monsters. The old Dungeons and Dragons movie slipped Beholders in just because they could. I'd rather a DnD film have a bunch of the monsters that are iconic to DnD instead of a half-second cameo of a beholder
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Jul 23, 2022 19:35
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Cassius Belli posted:It's the stupidest throwaway. It's hanging out guarding Blue Lipstick Big Bad's castle, if I remember right. The party gets past it with the "throw a rock to make some noise over there" trick. Pretty half baked Beholder too, does not even have half as many eyes as normal.
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Jul 23, 2022 19:41
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Improbable Lobster posted:I'd rather a DnD film have a bunch of the monsters that are iconic to DnD instead of a half-second cameo of a beholder Oddly the second direct to video (or maybe SyFy) movie felt more authentic. Which made it better as a movie, but only because of a very low bar.
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Jul 23, 2022 20:04
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MonsterEnvy posted:Pretty half baked Beholder too, does not even have half as many eyes as normal. It might actually be a spectator; we only know it's a beholder because Snails calls it one, and Snails is... Snails. e: A spectator would actually make some sense; they're more... cooperative. Beholders being beholders, a 'true beholder' as a perimeter guard is probably more trouble than it's worth. Cassius Belli fucked around with this message at 20:25 on Jul 23, 2022 |
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Jul 23, 2022 20:18
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Lemniscate Blue posted:Anybody who beat the poo poo out of Lowtax can't be all bad. I mean, he literally makes a "I pay for my movies with the stolen gold fillings of jews killed in the holocaust" joke in one of his movies, punctuated by him handing a bag of gold teeth to Verne Troyer. "Someone's got to spend it!" So I dunno man. It's all really bad and all of his desperate scrabbling for attention by doing stuff like boxing his critics is kind of poo poo honestly. He's only become a shittier director with even more aggressive desperation for attention. He's no Jon Lovitz smashing Andy Dick's head through solid wood for cracking jokes about how he gave Phil Hartman's wife coke which led to her killing him, is all I'll say.
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Jul 23, 2022 20:36
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Dawgstar posted:Oddly the second direct to video (or maybe SyFy) movie felt more authentic. Which made it better as a movie, but only because of a very low bar. It was bad, but it was frequently fun bad, which the first one failed at. My college gaming club had a club mixer when it was out so we spent most of it watching the movie and laughing at it - and it really felt like it wanted to be laughed at. It even had poo poo happen that was just blatantly "dickhead GM moves" as plot events, like the wizard's teleport mishap.
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Jul 23, 2022 20:37
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TheDiceMustRoll posted:I mean, he literally makes a "I pay for my movies with the stolen gold fillings of jews killed in the holocaust" joke in one of his movies, punctuated by him handing a bag of gold teeth to Verne Troyer. "Someone's got to spend it!" So I dunno man. It's all really bad and all of his desperate scrabbling for attention by doing stuff like boxing his critics is kind of poo poo honestly. He's only become a shittier director with even more aggressive desperation for attention. Lol Jon Lovitz rules
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Jul 24, 2022 01:59
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Cassius Belli posted:It might actually be a spectator; we only know it's a beholder because Snails calls it one, and Snails is... Snails. Is there really a "lesser Beholder" monster called a Spectator? Really?
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Jul 24, 2022 04:02
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gradenko_2000 posted:Is there really a "lesser Beholder" monster called a Spectator? Oh there were a bunch of Beholder variants, and yeah there was a weaker and friendlier variety called a Spectator. AD&D 2e had rules about how they could be magically conjured and bound as guardians to watch over a treasure for about a century. Beholders split off weird subspecies almost as often as elves, apparently.
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Jul 24, 2022 04:15
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Piell posted:sure, definitely two different pictures and not just one they slightly squashed Because Paizo has NEVER used artwork that is generally available for a license. Never in the interior art, never on the cover. Nope.
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Jul 24, 2022 04:16
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You got any specific examples you'd like to share?
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Jul 24, 2022 04:19
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gradenko_2000 posted:Is there really a "lesser Beholder" monster called a Spectator? Yeah, but it's significantly different in function. A spectator is most commonly seen having been summoned to the Material Plane to protect a treasure hoard. They're LN peaceful natives of Mechanus who take contracts pretty seriously, so the challenge with them is for low-level adventurers to figure out some hole in their guardianship contract so the adventurers can get whatever the spectator's guarding without having to fight it. They are pretty fun encounters, honestly.  This was the 3e art which I'm linking just because it gives you a sense of how they differ in scale and size. If you want the real goofy lesser beholder, this is an eyeball/gazer beholderkin:  It's a tiny beholder you can have as a familiar.
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Jul 24, 2022 04:19
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Arivia posted:
It's like fist sized to give an example of it's scale.
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Jul 24, 2022 04:48
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MonsterEnvy posted:It's like fist sized to give an example of it's scale. Arivia posted:
that's adorable! :3
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Jul 24, 2022 04:56
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MonsterEnvy posted:It's like fist sized to give an example of it's scale. I generally think of it as "the exact size to wear a sock as a little cap that trails behind it comically."
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Jul 24, 2022 04:58
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Eastmabl posted:Because Paizo has NEVER used artwork that is generally available for a license. That is uh, not the same thing.
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Jul 24, 2022 05:01
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Eastmabl posted:Because Paizo has NEVER used artwork that is generally available for a license. If there's 1:1 traced art that's in a Pathfinder book or AP or something, go ahead and post it. That's industry related.
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Jul 24, 2022 05:55
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Megazver posted:I mean, the actual description doesn't say anything about WotC/Hasbro. It's "the secret history of TSR". It seems like the difference between this and the other books about D&D's early history (Game Wizards, Of Dice and Men) is that he did try to dig up more stuff about the Lorraine period. If his GenCon talks are any indication, he did dig up a lot of minutae that wasn't widely known before, and probably delivers the best history of TSR's fall, which previously was dominated by the perfectly accurate and unbiased explanations of one Ryan Dancey. It no doubt goes into the purchase, which is better known but even I learned some interesting material on the motivation behind the purchase--he really has done a lot of new research on that history.
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Jul 24, 2022 09:52
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Nissin Cup Nudist posted:Did you ask Eklund about Boll fighting Lowtax Heh, didn't think of it. Should have asked.
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Jul 24, 2022 10:02
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Spectators are described as guarding treasure chests a lot because you meet one in the baldurs gate games doing that so it must be a trait of the race. If you have the right stats you can point out thats its only bound to guard the chest, not its contents and just grab the loot and leave. (It then decides guarding an empty chest is pointless and leaves)
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Jul 24, 2022 12:50
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Pocky In My Pocket posted:Spectators are described as guarding treasure chests a lot because you meet one in the baldurs gate games doing that so it must be a trait of the race. If you have the right stats you can point out thats its only bound to guard the chest, not its contents and just grab the loot and leave. (It then decides guarding an empty chest is pointless and leaves) They’ve been described as guardians of treasures since their very first appearance in The Secret of Bone Hill. Baldur’s Gate might have been many people’s first encounter with a spectator if they’d not played much pen and paper D&D before, but you’ve got cause and effect the wrong way round here, you meet one in Baldur’s Gate 2 doing that because spectators are described as guarding treasure chests a lot and doing so is a trait of the race. quote:The spectator is a guardian of places and treasures. Once it is given a task it will guard for up to 101 years and will let no one use, borrow, or examine an item or treasure. The treasure being guarded is likely to be a magic item or at least a value of 15,000 g.p. Incidental treasure gained while performing its duty has no hold on its on its conscience and may be taken freely.
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Jul 24, 2022 13:51
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Pocky In My Pocket posted:Spectators are described as guarding treasure chests a lot because you meet one in the baldurs gate games doing that so it must be a trait of the race. If you have the right stats you can point out thats its only bound to guard the chest, not its contents and just grab the loot and leave. (It then decides guarding an empty chest is pointless and leaves) Spectators guarding chests predates Baldur’s Gate. Summoning one to protect treasure is in the 1983 Monster Manual II for 1e.
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Jul 24, 2022 13:53
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Beholders reproduce by dreaming their children into existence, they're also *aggressively* solitary so they hate doing that. But occasionally they have a nightmare or get distracted and dream one of the lesser beholders into existence which they either shoo off or adopt as pets.
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Jul 24, 2022 14:50
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Froghammer posted:In the decade since he rose to prominence I've softened on Boll. If he wants to give actors and gig economy film people a bunch of money as part of a tax dodge, that's a great grift and good on him. There's also the very strong argument to be made that by dominating the genre for a decade+ with consistently poo poo tier offerings he put several nails in the coffin of decent adaptations ever existing. Uwe Boll's particular oeuvre is pretty much synonymous with Video Game Movie.
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Jul 24, 2022 16:47
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Splicer posted:There's also the very strong argument to be made that by dominating the genre for a decade+ with consistently poo poo tier offerings he put several nails in the coffin of decent adaptations ever existing. Uwe Boll's particular oeuvre is pretty much synonymous with Video Game Movie. His Hunter: The Reckoning was going to be based on the video game, of course, (a game based on an RPG is frankly absurd to consider) but I think the loophole closed so he didn't make it. That could have been something.
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Jul 24, 2022 17:50
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Kurieg posted:Beholders reproduce by dreaming their children into existence, they're also *aggressively* solitary so they hate doing that. But occasionally they have a nightmare or get distracted and dream one of the lesser beholders into existence which they either shoo off or adopt as pets. Their xenophobia and hated of things different than themselves I recall was created as reference to how all artists drew Beholders so differently, and in reference to the " beauty is in the eye of the beholder" saying. Gazers tend to look like mini versions of the Beholder that spawned them, so true Beholders tend to be more tolerant of them.
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Jul 24, 2022 18:36
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MonsterEnvy posted:Their xenophobia and hated of things different than themselves I recall was created as reference to how all artists drew Beholders so differently, and in reference to the " beauty is in the eye of the beholder" saying. Gazers tend to look like mini versions of the Beholder that spawned them, so true Beholders tend to be more tolerant of them. Beholders could also sometimes spawn exact copies of themselves that they were more tolerant of as well. Though they have to be exact, even minor details being different will make Beholders want to kill each other on sight.
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Jul 24, 2022 18:50
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Splicer posted:Eh, people aren't really mad about the films that he made, it's more about the films that didn't or won't get made because of it. If he'd just been churning out schlock horror or by the numbers teen comedies nobody would have cared, but like... sure it's not as straightforward as "If Uwe Boll hadn't made this lovely film someone else would have been making a good version", but definitely nobody was going to make a second film any time soon after the first one was Uwe Boll'd. Except that no one else made good video game movies either( and pretty much still don't, especially live action), so the chance of someone making a good one would still have been zero, even if Boll had never touched it. So while Boll did nothing to help the reputation of video game adaptions, it was already dead even before he made his first one by movies like Super Mario and Street Fighter, and while the some of the Tomb Raider and Resident Evil movies have their moments, they are still really bad as adaptions of video games. I think the TR movie was more an adaption of the comics than the games anyway. People getting excited about video game movie adaptions really confuse me, because there is nothing to suggest it will rise above mediocre.
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Jul 24, 2022 18:52
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The Street Fighter movie is good. Same thing with all of the Tekken movies, albeit those were all anime.
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Jul 24, 2022 18:58
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Dawgstar posted:His Hunter: The Reckoning was going to be based on the video game, of course, (a game based on an RPG is frankly absurd to consider) but I think the loophole closed so he didn't make it. That could have been something. The trailer for the fourth attempt at a Dungeons & Dragons movie just dropped. I'm not much of a Bible quoter, but Proverbs 26:11 comes to mind.
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Jul 24, 2022 19:07
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