Dumb shit your work does: up up down down L R L R B A Select Singapore

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Machai: Feb 21, 2013

Shoehead posted:

She insists on paying everyone in cash so there isn't a paper trail. None of us can get loans. To remedy this she decided we could have SOME bank transfers as a treat and sends the pair of us �100 of whatever we've made each week to our accounts. We still cannot get loans. Sometimes, she forgets to do this. Today, she has forgotten her bank password.

I spoke to someone in another shop today at lunch, I have an interview on Monday and possibly a trial day coming up. I cannot WAIT

Also to answer my shower question, she used to go to a gym and would use their shower (not bad) now its apparently a bucket, I'm not supposed to know this

It's your paycheck, there is supposed to be a paper trail. Otherwise, how does she prove she paid her employees? I hope she gets audited (after you get out).

# ? Jul 22, 2022 17:17

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 16:15

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

Incidentally, you should probably tip off the Revenue Agency.
After you get out

# ? Jul 22, 2022 17:45

Lodo: May 9, 2006; Actually a cow.

Review your personal tax returns and obtain advice before reporting anything to the tax administration.

It sounds as if your payroll wasn�t properly handled. Depending on how you handled your income tax return, you might have unreported income.

# ? Jul 22, 2022 17:56

COPE 27: Sep 11, 2006

Machai posted:

It's your paycheck, there is supposed to be a paper trail. Otherwise, how does she prove she paid her employees? I hope she gets audited (after you get out).

Lol file an unpaid wages claim

# ? Jul 22, 2022 19:25

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

evilpicard posted:

Lol file an unpaid wages claim

# ? Jul 22, 2022 21:34

Shoehead: Sep 28, 2005; Wassup, Choom?
Ya need sumthin'?

Someone who knows where I'm from got in touch with some relevant tax advice for my country

I'm waiting til I know if this other job is a go to quit.. I should maybe.. tell my coworker to run as far as she can too..

# ? Jul 22, 2022 21:56

Rasputin on the Ritz: Jun 24, 2010; Come let's mix where Rockefellers
walk with sticks or um-ber-ellas
in their mitts

Please be in Germany Please be in Germany Please be in Germany

# ? Jul 22, 2022 22:30

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

Rasputin on the Ritz posted:

Please be in Germany Please be in Germany Please be in Germany

The Finanzamt + Zoll will be on that like nothing

# ? Jul 23, 2022 03:06

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Shoehead posted:

Its a situation that sometimes I can only look at in tiny pieces, because lookin at all of it makes me freak out. I'm supposed to have a zoom interview with someone soon in a different shop, they keep getting busy though, so hopefully by the time we talk I'm not a nervous wreak. I'm currently in with a single appointment scheduled for 5pm today which means I'm stuck just waiting for it all day. I might try reschedule.. But I'll leave you with this brain teaser.

If she lives in the non-residential back room of a shop, where do you suppose she showers??

You said it smells right? She doesn't shower.

# ? Jul 23, 2022 03:18

tinytort: Jun 10, 2013; Super healthy, super cheap

I'm a janitor for the in-house restaurants at a local(ish) hotel over in the tourist area. I got hired because two janitors (a morning shift and a night shift, each scheduled to be 8 hours) isn't enough to cope with any hiccups or problems that come up and require someone to need extra time off.

One of my coworkers, the janitor who prefers to do the night shift, is a Boomer lady who's somewhere between her 50s and 60s. She keeps calling out sick, and I don't think I've ever seen her wear a mask properly; I'd say I've never seen her wear one, but she did put one on...her arm, to give the "I'm wearing one" malicious compliance when the managers started insisting everyone mask up again, after I had to take time off because I caught Covid.

She also doesn't use PPE (gloves when using chemicals? Don't be a weenie!) and exclusively picks the hardest, most labour intensive method to do a task when given the opportunity. Why use a Swiffer mop with a rag on it to wipe table bases when you can get on your hands and knees and do that poo poo by hand? And using the Swiffer mop to do the windows is just lazy, really. And let's not move boxes of necessary stuff down off of shelves, let's climb the shelves like a monkey to get the box and grab what we need!

Surprising no one, she is of the opinion that catching Covid is inevitable and just happens, and is currently off for what's either croup or pneumonia. The time before this, she called out because her hands and arms hurt too much for her to work and I ended up having to do seven straight shifts to cover for her, five of them the night shift.

Other stupidity: there is currently nothing preventing guests from coming up to the restaurant floor, after we've closed. This is, uh, not particularly safe for the night shift janitor, because by the time you're finishing up your tasks? It's at least an hour past when you were scheduled to leave, and you're completely alone.

It is, at least, a union job and I'll get benefits once I've worked enough hours to qualify. And my manager was horrified by the safety issue once I pointed it out to her.

# ? Jul 23, 2022 05:02

ben shapino: Nov 22, 2020

Shoehead posted:

Oh I'll alright

Stealing clients:
She's been using the fact that she lives in the place where our booking book lives as an excuse to take all the best bookings for herself. Alienating both of her employees in the process of course.
She'd be paid her cut for any of our work and our other artist charges considerably more than her so it might even only personally be a small loss on her part.
I regularly have to do the free aftercare follow ups for piercings she's done now too, of course. Our client base has shrunk this summer so this has only gotten worse.
I took an extra day in the week to try and cut her off from this and she suddenly won't answer any piercing inquiry we receive at all now.

The Pile
OK so she's also a hoarder. She will not throw things away. Now she lives in the shop. So that's gotten out of hand. I often throw poo poo out and find it sitting on a shelf later..
We own.. oh god OK all of this is true

Dozens of cassettes and cds with no way to play them

A single Yogi Bear VHS and no way to play it

A Dell PC tower with no screen or cable or peripherals

At least 3 non functioning laptops

2 or more old routers just in case

An air compressor I think?

2 whole radiators that were removed from the walls 20 years ago

A wooden birdcage sans bird

3 non functioning radios or speakers

A priceless antique Singer sewing machine that she has a radio on

a bin she kept leaving in the inside path of a door that I just OBLITERATED one day and replaced myself

THE ENTIRE FRONT AXEL OF A CAR THAT IS BOTH FOR THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD AND ALSO NOT FOR A CAR SHE OWNS

A bag of human hair I keep forgetting about and finding.

This contributes to the general displacement of The Pile but it is not The Pile itself. What is The Pile?

(pictured: The Pile)

So.. we have no rear entrance, or place to store rubbish, wheelie bin, dumpster. None of it. Its one of the few drawbacks of the building, can't be helped.
What perhaps could have been helped was the bosses strange anger towards the local bin company? She wouldn't pay for commercial pickups so had to rely on the residential version which she never figured out the schedule for and would basically wait to see if bags were on the street and then would have someone throw some bags out. It never worked though? None of it was collected and she got mad and insists it's easier to bring everything to the dump and recycling centre herself.
Except she doesn't. This stinks btw. You may note the needles stored in one corner and an ultrasonic cleaner in the other with the pile encroaching. I am deeply DEEPLY ashamed of The Pile, even though its out if my hands. I see The Pile and I feel deep disgust. The Pile is a danger to our clients. The Pile would get us shut down if there was actually any kind of health practices in this country (not America).
OK moving on.

The Cocaine Landlord
I wanna be vague about this but her lovelife is a mess of losers, idiots and catfish. Which is a shame. This guy seemed a lot better, they met before covid, he seemed stable and loaded, theyre both in their 50s. He owned some properties he let himself but Shoe oh he's a good landlord to his tenants.
She ignored work to text him a lot, which was cute I guess. Anyway, after she got sick he cheated on her and she started to mention random poo poo about him. He made her break covid travel restrictions and get 2 trains to meet him, his apts weren't exactly official and looked like shitholes. He stole the shop's drill for some reason.
Anyway the breakup got weird, something about him having to mail her underwear or something, I tried to blank it out. But it was at that point she decided to Google his name and found out about the 2 kg of Cocaine he had in his suitcase at the airport in the early 2000s

The Nuclear Option

As any business would, she's been threatened with legal action before. Usually it's the same person threatening us every time, for discrimination. For being banned from the shop for not paying for something, and then being double banned for threatening to kill someone. Last time she yelled "I'll get on to my solicitor about this!" I yelled back "Fuckin' do it, then!" and locked our door.
The boss, does not take these threats very well.
Her plan? Well she'll close the shop down and move city of course! That definitely works, and doesn't stress me out at all!!

Codependency

The boss cannot say no to a customer. She can say no to us as employees, as a boss but otherwise she can be talked into anything. She's in a thing for it and has at least identified it.
She overpromises a lot though, again to customers only. So if someone asks to slide 2 other people into a single booking she'll just let it happen. Constantly. And then it's up to everyone else to bend time and resources around that. Stressful.
She will also give anyone who asks a job with no real further input. Do we have the space for another person? Do we have enough clients to support another person? Don't matter, she'll have em come in.
I came in one day last year to find I had a new apprentice. There was no discussion about this, I was not offered anything to train this new person, I don't know if I'd still have this job if it had worked out or if I'd have been moved to like a proper paid managerial position or if it would have been up to 2 people to pierce in our one piercing area all week ughh.
We also had a new artist this year join the shop. Apparently his portfolio was real good. However he had come here from Portugal to be a kitchen porter and not a tattoo artist and so left his gear at home. No problem, he can just use my machines and gear for free!!
When was he going to fit in seeing as our extra space has a permanent artist in it all week and a guest at the weekend?
Oh she was going to open the shop an extra day of the week just for him, and maybe the guest's spot if she couldnt make it in. And he was gonna be left there unsupervised too for some reason. I was super burned out at this point so I left it. If he stole the til it was on her.
He came in for a test day or something one morning while I wasn't around and immediately hit on our other artist and made her feel super uncomfortable. I don't think the boss knows that.
Anyway he never got his day to tattoo. The boss decided it wasn't her job to tell him when to show up for work and declared it was our artist's job. So she would find out if our guest wasn't in on a Saturday and would tell the artist to call this guy to tell him there was a n open slot the next time SHE was in which was Tuesday so he'd have like 3 days to find a client for the day and he moved back to Portugal. I never met him... I actually don't know his name?
OK the flipside of this is if she fucks up and lets someone down she turns really quick. If she thinks she might be liable she gets even worse.
She once sat and shut down completely, utterly blanking me and and girl who had slipped and fallen down the stairs while I tried to help her. This woman is in the Order of Malta btw. I was asking her for an ice pack from her kit and she just sat and looked at the wall.
Later when she tried to sue us over this she declared that she had been instead beaten by her boyfriend and was trying to make some money off of it, he began to bring this up randomly to customers and repeat this accusation it was reallt hosed up.
I don't know what kind of fists leave 2 perfectly parallel welts across you back roughly the same distance as two pf our steps but...
Much later she accused a guy who'd let a lip piercing go really bad of having sucked too much dick, which is why she must never know I'm queer.

Yeah OK the BDSM in the shop thing

You know you're gonna write about something stupid when you have to first stop to say you're sex positive and you don't care what people are up to outside of work... of course when you blur the lines between home and work, when they align like some awful depressing eclipse.

Uh so she claims to be an incel currently? I dunno if she knows about the far right stuff inherent to being an incel but she claims it. She's also very quick to point out about aftercare and vetting and so on in the bdsm community, which is rad poo poo but its usually unprompted, and uh.. I never really thought about it until recently but I guess she wanted someone to ask her about it. Not me though, I don't wanna know.

Except now I do. Now the whole shop knows, now some of our clients know.
She's been using.. ok so we have 2 shop emails, one is her ancient one from 20 years ago on yahoo that's a mess and no one can access properly which lead to our new one for the public and stuff to contact us. Didn't stop her from signing up for stuff and buying toys on BOTH ACCOUNTS. I get sent the receipts. On my phone. I actually get Lovehoney push notifications.

She's been having computer issues lately. A lot of them. She keeps resetting all our passwords and we can't do thing like use the cash machine or access emails. I've been trying to sort it all week. But she told(?) the artist she's been constantly trying to delete her search history and I guess Opera deletes all your saved passwords when you do too?
Huge gently caress up this week over it. Led to a late payment, late shipment. I'll miss out on money this month or next because she was using our work computer for porn or somethin.
The folder on the desktop with all the copies of our forms and info sheets disappeared last month again. She accidentally deleted it. Again. So I into the recycle bin I went and found it. Along with some .APK files for the Fetlife app. I wish I hadn't seen it!
Now look, I don't know why she grabbed an apk instead of going onto Google play and downloading it. Someone would have seen it when we needed her phone to 2 factor something anyway. But there it is. Background to the secret in store BDSM.

So our Artist's cousin is on Fetlife, I'm not so I dunno if it let's you filter by area or what, perhaps its just a huge coincidence?? But she's scrolling one night when she recognises a picture. Apparently it took her a second, like first she saw a tattoo she recognised and then recognised the room and then looked over this person's shoulder to our perfectly illuminated shop name painted in our window next to this middle aged woman who has all our bosses tattoos. I dunno who this mystery woman is, no one can say, because her head is cleverly cropped out of the photos but whoever has been breaking into the shop to stage amateur bondage photoshoots should probably do it in a room that hundreds of people see every month.

Ugh I wrote way too much. I've not been sleeping because of anxiety, I have attacks before I sleep now and when on my way to work. So bitching about the source of it all morning instead of sleeping is at least cathartic. I'm sorry if it's sooooo much. But hopefully someone enjoys my storys of working for a complete nut job??

I can fix her

# ? Jul 23, 2022 05:22

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

ben shapino posted:

I can fix her

That's a super hard mode, there's an achievement for that one.

# ? Jul 23, 2022 05:28

tinytort: Jun 10, 2013; Super healthy, super cheap

Okay, my schedule just changed so that I only have Tuesday and Thursday off next week (instead of the Tuesday to Friday block that I had had prior to the change), and my two new shifts are 8.5 hours.

I texted my manager, asking about it and if this is intended, because wtf. It is, unfortunately if it's on purpose, legal since employers only need to give 24 consecutive uninterrupted hours free from work per work week, not 2 consecutive days.
The hours is weird since they've only ever scheduled me for 8 hour shifts before, and it isn't legal to require me to work more than 8 hour shifts if it's not the norm for the work place and there hasn't been an electronic or written agreement between me and them about it.

I'm hoping I get my 4 day block back, I was looking forward to being able to rest.

# ? Jul 23, 2022 07:02

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

So are you actually where the address on that cardboard box says, or is it a red herring?

# ? Jul 23, 2022 11:46

Shoehead: Sep 28, 2005; Wassup, Choom?
Ya need sumthin'?

goatface posted:

So are you actually where the address on that cardboard box says, or is it a red herring?

Can you read that?!

# ? Jul 23, 2022 11:59

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

Some of it. Enough to tie down a country, county and town.

# ? Jul 23, 2022 12:18

Shoehead: Sep 28, 2005; Wassup, Choom?
Ya need sumthin'?

Oh I'm cool with that, you can get that from my post history :v:

# ? Jul 23, 2022 13:14

boar guy: Jan 25, 2007

i swear to god if one more person says ebitda im going to loving scream

who cares about what the numbers are if the strategy never changes? it's just some loving shibboleth we all chant like it'll solve all our problems

E BIT DA
E BIT DA
ALL HAIL
E BIT DA

# ? Jul 25, 2022 16:55

Samuel L. Hacksaw: Mar 26, 2007; Never Stop Posting

boar guy posted:

i swear to god if one more person says ebitda im going to loving scream

who cares about what the numbers are if the strategy never changes? it's just some loving shibboleth we all chant like it'll solve all our problems

E BIT DA
E BIT DA
ALL HAIL
E BIT DA

Lol it's just gross profit minus salaries and facility cost and any costs associated with selling your product.

The number only goes up if you make more stuff for same cost or same amount but lower cost.

# ? Jul 25, 2022 17:18

boar guy: Jan 25, 2007

yeah. i know. my company engages with this stupid program called The Great Game of Business that is supposed to make mom and pop shops into billion dollar companies and its almost as stupid as Agile in the number of ceremonies and meetings you have to have to serve it. but we don't make stuff. we're a VAR. the whole point is to pivot your strategy based on these numbers but the only strategy ever is MAKE 600 CALLS THIS WEEK INSTEAD OF 500. I shudder to think what that stupid program costs us

# ? Jul 25, 2022 17:23

Rasputin on the Ritz: Jun 24, 2010; Come let's mix where Rockefellers
walk with sticks or um-ber-ellas
in their mitts

boar guy posted:

i swear to god if one more person says ebitda im going to loving scream

who cares about what the numbers are if the strategy never changes? it's just some loving shibboleth we all chant like it'll solve all our problems

E BIT DA
E BIT DA
ALL HAIL
E BIT DA

Still better than that German CEO a few years back quipping that �EBIDA macht frei�

VW I think? One of the companies that had a Nazi past at the least (which lets face it is all of them)

# ? Jul 25, 2022 17:36

Samuel L. Hacksaw: Mar 26, 2007; Never Stop Posting

My point is that most accounting rules are designed to be easy to manipulate by creative accountants. Finance types are dishonest crooks to a person.

Cost and profit per deliverable are not manipulable.

As you note, at the end of the day the solution is do more work with the same amount of people and no investments in process improvements.

# ? Jul 25, 2022 17:42

boar guy: Jan 25, 2007

another part of GGOB is open book management. we all know exactly how much money the company and owners have sold and spent and made made this year which makes it very very hard to get motivated when you hear constantly how all the numbers are terrible and everyone's missing projections but you know what the CEO's making in spite of it haha

gee sorry you've each only made 800k so far this year and you were supposed to be at a mil point four or whatever by now. better work real hard for the rest of the year so that you don't take away the rest of our bonuses

# ? Jul 25, 2022 18:25

Methylethylaldehyde: Oct 23, 2004; BAKA BAKA

boar guy posted:

gee sorry you've each only made 800k so far this year and you were supposed to be at a mil point four or whatever by now. better work real hard for the rest of the year so that you don't take away the rest of our bonuses

Open book only works when the CEO to peon salary ratio is like 6:1 or better, and everyone gets bonuses at the end of the year based on hard fixed numbers. Fixed bonuses only cause people to work juuust hard enough to maybe possibly get them, depending on if leadership is halfway trustworthy.

# ? Jul 25, 2022 18:42

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

boar guy posted:

yeah. i know. my company engages with this stupid program called The Great Game of Business that is supposed to make mom and pop shops into billion dollar companies and its almost as stupid as Agile in the number of ceremonies and meetings you have to have to serve it. but we don't make stuff. we're a VAR. the whole point is to pivot your strategy based on these numbers but the only strategy ever is MAKE 600 CALLS THIS WEEK INSTEAD OF 500. I shudder to think what that stupid program costs us

Well if you increase from 500 to 600 calls a week that translates to like a 20% increase in revenue and if you're just breaking even it could represent a 100% or more increase in profit for owners/shareholders so who's using a stupid program now?!?

*All useful employees quit, profitability plummets*

# ? Jul 25, 2022 18:57

boar guy: Jan 25, 2007

MAKE SURE WE PUSH REAL HARD TO GET EVERYONE TO PAY THEIR INVOICES EARLY SO THAT WE CAN MAKE THAT EBITDA NUMBER THIS MONTH is just the dumbest, most short sighted thing. these are the people in charge of our economy

# ? Jul 25, 2022 19:07

Scientastic: Mar 1, 2010; TRULY scientastic.
🔬🍒

Just wait until you see massive discounts being offered at the end of a quarter to hit the quarterly number� The most incredibly dumb robbing Peter to pay Paul poo poo I�ve ever seen

# ? Jul 25, 2022 19:21

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

It's even better when your customers catch on about the end of quarter discounts. Next quarter's sales will be even lower because all the customers are waiting for the discount they know is coming.

# ? Jul 25, 2022 19:53

Scientastic: Mar 1, 2010; TRULY scientastic.
🔬🍒

McGavin posted:

It's even better when your customers catch on about the end of quarter discounts. Next quarter's sales will be even lower because all the customers are waiting for the discount they know is coming.

Hahaha, I wonder if we work for the same company

# ? Jul 25, 2022 19:53

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

I doubt it. I work for an industry regulator, so people pay me to be allowed to sell things. It's a great racket, highly recommended.

# ? Jul 25, 2022 20:19

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

Waiting for the official paperwork to sign for a new position so I can put all the exceptionally stupid poo poo my academia job does, regularly :sickos:

# ? Jul 25, 2022 20:54

Lazyfire: Feb 4, 2006; God saves. Satan Invests

I don't know what I did in a previous life to cause this, but all of my currently "hot" purchase actions are stuck in place because the people involved don't understand I am the final person that needs to get involved and instead come straight to me and say "order this." One of these things is a brand new part number that has parents that aren't yet loaded and I'm expected to have issued an order for it with no demand because the program manager wanted it done a month before he bothered talking to anyone about this part being a thing.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 21:45

Animal-Mother: Feb 14, 2012; RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

Visibly sick guy coughing the entire shift? Put him by the door to greet people, that's a great idea. Masks optional, of course.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 22:09

Hyrax Attack!: Jan 13, 2009; We demand to be taken seriously

Had a small manager led virtual-meeting a few weeks ago where they had a two minute video that only used a third of the screen. Today a much larger meeting included an eight minute video that took up barely 10%. Weird mix of technical ineptitude and indifferent leadership.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 22:22

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Turns out the company has been buying TVs/display monitors constantly to replace ones getting even minor cosmetic damage. Facilities finally reached out to us to find out WTF they're supposed to do with about ten screens, each about 65" (one is 85"), because they've run out of places to squirrel them away.

That's the dumb thing my work has done. The upshot, though, is we got a tour of all the Facilities storage and equipment rooms, including getting to see the roof and the elevator machinery because the one Facilities dude was I guess bored and felt like giving us computer janitors a tour.

Also I might get a 65" tv for free.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 23:05

Salami Surgeon: Jan 21, 2001; Don't close. Don't close.; Nap Ghost

A while ago my boss approached me about adding a feature to one of our systems. I start to look into it, compile some preliminary findings, map out what changes we need and what the feature will net us. Yesterday boss tells me that I'll need to speak to the feature today in a meeting with some VPs. Cool. I'll slap together some slides together quick on how feature won't work and how we'll need to make changes, hopefully get a bid in on some additional resources. In the meeting today, no one asks me anything. Boss just says we don't need to make any changes and this feature will fix everything.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 23:17

ben shapino: Nov 22, 2020

Salami Surgeon posted:

A while ago my boss approached me about adding a feature to one of our systems. I start to look into it, compile some preliminary findings, map out what changes we need and what the feature will net us. Yesterday boss tells me that I'll need to speak to the feature today in a meeting with some VPs. Cool. I'll slap together some slides together quick on how feature won't work and how we'll need to make changes, hopefully get a bid in on some additional resources. In the meeting today, no one asks me anything. Boss just says we don't need to make any changes and this feature will fix everything.

So what's the problem

# ? Jul 26, 2022 23:57