r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

canepazzo: May 29, 2006

Hughlander posted:

AITA for not donating my kidney to my father?

gently caress this dad, but also gently caress the mom for putting the kid in that position. Makes me wonder if they weren't talking $$$ before the kid got home.

I didn't know Locke posted on reddit.

E: wow, what a lovely snipe :lost:

# ? Aug 10, 2022 21:29

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 12:58

boofhead: Feb 18, 2021

Midnight Voyager posted:

The most horrible case of "BUT FAMILY" poisoning I've ever seen.

i brought you into this world, i can drat well ~~take you out of it~~ cut you to pieces and sell your organs for profit

# ? Aug 10, 2022 21:33

Scipiotik: Mar 2, 2004; "I would have won the race but for that."

Makes me wonder if the mom was actually getting money from the father all along and just didn't use it on nor tell the kid. Also she is totally selling that kidney to the dad.

# ? Aug 10, 2022 21:45

Lottery of Babylon: Apr 25, 2012; STRAIGHT TROPIN'

AITA for refusing to choose between my daughters

quote:

Husband and I have two daughters, Erika 23F & Sarah 25F. Much to my disappointment, they've never gotten along - even as kids, they were always fighting. I had always hoped they would grow out of it, but it just never happened. I've tried very hard to encourage them to grow together, as it was always my wish for them to be best friends and take care of each other when I'm gone. Nothing worked and they seemed bent on hating each other.

Some backstory: When the Sarah moved out for college, she stopped talking to Erika entirely. This seemed really harsh to me, and I told her that. During this time, I grew closer with Erika as she was still at home and Sarah seemed to want nothing to do with us. We were both hurt by Sarah's actions. When Erika went to college, Sarah seemed to make an effort to get along with her and I was really excited. But something happened - Sarah said that Erika was "bullying" her and blocked her on her phone. Erika told me that Sarah had blocked her so I texted Sarah demanding to know why. Sarah said that Erika was name calling and "blowing up" her phone- I told Sarah she needed to get over it because family is family and you can't just block family for no reason. It seemed very immature to me and I was very annoyed.

It's been about 2 years and Sarah hasn't had a relationship with Erika since. Every time I see Sarah, I try to remind her that Erika loves her and tell her about the realities of the situation - that Sarah is successful and Erika just gets jealous sometimes. Sarah always seems really upset when I bring up Erika and gets moody.

Sarah is now getting married. At Sarah's engagement party (to which Erika was not invited, which really disappointed me), I told Sarah that Erika was happy for her but it was hard for her, having her sister be successful like this. Sarah seemed annoyed and brushed me off. Since the party, I've been trying to get a straight answer from Sarah as to whether Erika is invited to the wedding. I brought it up a few times when Sarah was talking about the wedding and she ignored me. Eventually, she snapped at me that she hasn't had a relationship with Erika in many years and she "didn't know why you would expect her to be there."

I was horrified. In my view, Sarah's childish, vengeful antics have gone too far. You just don't treat family like this - not inviting them to your wedding? My heart is broken, as I want them to take care of each other and I don't know why they refuse to do so. I want nothing to do with the wedding at this point - I'll attend, but I have no desire to help a daughter who treats family like this. I feel like Sarah is just asking me to pick between her and her sister and I want nothing to do with it. My husband thinks I might be being a little harsh, but Erika agrees with my decision.

So reddit: AITA for refusing to pick between my daughters by not supporting my oldest's decision to not invite her sister to her wedding?

Edit: Many people are asking what Erika did to cause Sarah to cut her off. I don't totally know - Sarah just told me that Erika was bullying her. Sarah sent me the screenshots, but that was many years ago and I don't like getting involved in their fights anyways. Sarah is apparently also still mad about some things that happened when Erika was 16 - a close friend of Sarah's died and I had to take Sarah to the funeral, causing Erika to miss a sports competition. Erika was really upset and said some terrible things to Sarah - but Erika was only 16 and didn't know better (she had never had a friend die before.) Sarah is apparently still mad about that which I think is evidence of how she can be really resentful

OP posted:

I mean, I think her sending me the texts was immature. If I'm supposed to stop meddling, shouldn't I just have refused to acknowledge the texts anyways? That's just Sarah trying to get me involved in another one of their fights

OP posted:

How is Erika supposed to apologize when she's blocked?? And it's been years, she doesn't even know why Sarah's upset anymore

OP posted:

Sarah always got better grades in school, has had more successful long term relationships (I mean she's engaged, Erika just dates around and can't find a good guy.) She has a good job lined up with a good salary. Erika lives at home with us and is taking her time to figure out what she wants to do. Sarah has also recently lost a lot of weight and gotten in shape - she talks about fitness a lot around me. Things just seemed to come a little more easily to Sarah, and while the kids were still in school, Sarah just seemed to love being the more "successful" kid. Of course I'm proud of her, but it sucks to see her success making the other one feel badly about herself

OP posted:

She's threatened to not talk to me or my husband if we meddle with her and Erika's relationship...just seems like threats to me. She's always been vindictive and sometimes it feels like she's just using us

OP posted:

quote:
Wait�at Sarah�s ENGAGEMENT PARTY, rather than congratulating her, you told her it was hard for Erika to see her be successful?

Of course I congratulated her! It was just one comment at a party, I doubt she even remembers it, there were lots of celebrations happening.

Narrator voice: "She remembers it."

# ? Aug 10, 2022 21:45

borgnar: Dec 30, 2018

haveblue posted:

Almost every time a kidney donation story comes up, someone mentions you can tell the doctor you don't want to do it and they'll report that you're not compatible. Is that an urban legend or did this guy just not know about it?

this is true. i gave my dad a kidney a couple months ago and everytime i talked to someone from the hospital they closed out by saying if i ever felt pressured or coerced in any way i just had to tell them and they'd come up with a reason why i couldn't spare the organ

it's probably academic in that poor kid's case though because i intensely doubt an actual hospital would take an organ from a literal child and in any case he probably wouldn't have gotten through the psych screening, but "doctors and coordinators will lie for you if you don't want to give up an organ" is a built-in part of the process

# ? Aug 10, 2022 21:55

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Lottery of Babylon posted:

AITA for refusing to choose between my daughters

you did choose, OP; you've consistently chosen between your daughters for years

# ? Aug 10, 2022 21:56

run on sentience: Mar 22, 2022

It's always nice to hear about someone becoming a happy and successful person in spite of having garbage parents.

# ? Aug 10, 2022 21:58

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Foo Diddley posted:

you did choose, OP; you've consistently chosen between your daughters for years

Mom's slippery memory is pretty impressive. I don't even know why Sarah hates Erika! I asked her once and she straight-up told me and she showed me the literal screenshots but still!

# ? Aug 10, 2022 22:00

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

FMguru posted:

Mom's slippery memory is pretty impressive. I don't even know why Sarah hates Erika! I asked her once and she straight-up told me and she showed me the literal screenshots but still!

i wonder why the rear end in a top hat child who was constantly enabled by mom is less successful and can't keep a boyfriend around :thunkher:

# ? Aug 10, 2022 22:09

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

FMguru posted:

Mom's slippery memory is pretty impressive. I don't even know why Sarah hates Erika! I asked her once and she straight-up told me and she showed me the literal screenshots but still!

What was I supposed to do look at or read those texts? That would be meddling, which is bad.

I'll just continue to try and guilt Sarah into having a relationship with Erika every chance I get, which is not meddling. Its just good parenting.

# ? Aug 10, 2022 22:16

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

AITA for Sending an Employee Home to Change?

quote:

For the record, I�m a female

I am a 23-year-old senior software engineer. Part of my job oversees a group of eight other programmers. I do not enforce a dress code; I�m fine with the other programmers wearing t-shirts and tank tops as long as they are not outrageous in nature. But the one thing that I will NEVER tolerate is visible underwear.

Recently, I hired a new employee. She is the only other female on board of the nine including myself. She is extremely intelligent with excellent problem-solving skills, but I�ve had to reprimand her three times in the two weeks she�s been with us about my �no visible underwear� rule. She refuses to wear a racerback bra whenever she wears a tank top. It�s distracting because my desk happens to be directly behind hers, meaning I have to look directly at her visible bra straps all day while working.

This morning was the last straw when she arrived wearing a turtleneck tank dress. I have an outfit similar to hers, and I thought it was a very professional look. What wasn�t professional about it, however, was that her bra straps were hanging out and about to fall down. I called her into a vacant office room and I told her that I was sending her home until she concealed her straps. I tried making it clear that coming to work with visible underwear was unacceptable. She left and came back an hour later, but she was at her desk crying. I apologized and said that I didn�t mean to upset her, as well as how she will make a great contribution to our programming team, but she still seemed upset.

I still stick by my rule, but was I an rear end in a top hat by raising my voice at her and sending her home? I want to make the work environment distraction-free.

really ought to fire her for dressing like such a slut, OP

# ? Aug 10, 2022 22:27

Bonster: Mar 3, 2007; Keep rolling, rolling

haveblue posted:

Almost every time a kidney donation story comes up, someone mentions you can tell the doctor you don't want to do it and they'll report that you're not compatible. Is that an urban legend or did this guy just not know about it?

It's true, and doctor's will always talk to the minor alone to make sure they're not being pressured. It is also vanishingly rare for a minor to be a living donor for an adult family member (basically, there need to be no other options). All he needs to do is tell the doctor he refuses and it won't happen.

Captain Hygiene posted:

I mean, definitely do what you have to in that situation, but can a kid have their parent just go "take their kidney, their opinion does not matter" and a surgeon will just do it? I legitimately know nothing about the situation, I know there's lots of hosed up things in the healthcare industry, but I would've guessed that involuntary organ removal would not happen with only parental consent since there's no medical need on the minor's end.

No. The donor must freely consent. The parent is not the donor and can't force it.

Bonster fucked around with this message at 22:36 on Aug 10, 2022

# ? Aug 10, 2022 22:30

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for Sending an Employee Home to Change?

really ought to fire her for dressing like such a slut, OP

Turns out, there's no dress code rule to enforce that, its literally just OP's demands, so if that complaint gets escalated it's going to go real bad for her.

# ? Aug 10, 2022 22:55

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for Sending an Employee Home to Change?

really ought to fire her for dressing like such a slut, OP

23 years old and already a senior software engineer? Is this actually doable?

# ? Aug 10, 2022 22:58

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

Dazerbeams posted:

23 years old and already a senior software engineer? Is this actually doable?

bay_area.txt

Must have graduated from one of the "right" schools.

# ? Aug 10, 2022 23:00

Rescue Toaster: Mar 13, 2003

Different parts of the SW industry have different timescales. Especially 'old' industries might have more impressive sounding title advancement more quickly instead of, you know, actual FAANG money.

# ? Aug 10, 2022 23:26

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Lottery of Babylon posted:

AITA for refusing to choose between my daughters

"Many people are asking what Erika did to cause Sarah to cut her off. I don't totally know - Sarah just told me that Erika was bullying her. Sarah sent me the screenshots, but that was many years ago and I don't like getting involved in their fights anyways. Sarah is apparently also still mad about some things that happened when Erika was 16 - a close friend of Sarah's died and I had to take Sarah to the funeral, causing Erika to miss a sports competition. Erika was really upset and said some terrible things to Sarah - but Erika was only 16 and didn't know better (she had never had a friend die before.) Sarah is apparently still mad about that which I think is evidence of how she can be really resentful"

Textbook case of missing missing reasons. Except for the part where the instigating event isn't missing, OP just refused and still refuses to take it seriously.

# ? Aug 10, 2022 23:39

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Oh, it's just a little poo poo-talking your deceased best friend, you're *sisters*!!!

# ? Aug 10, 2022 23:41

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Dazerbeams posted:

23 years old and already a senior software engineer? Is this actually doable?

There's lovely places where time in career = title. I was a "Senior Architect" at 25 which many years later is so completely laughable. Where I am now is much much more strict with titles. Anyone applying for a senior with less than 10 years in an industry is pointed towards the mid as a general rule.

# ? Aug 10, 2022 23:53

MK-Ultramarathon: Aug 12, 2009

Yeah especially at smaller places or agencies that have smaller tech teams, titles are hilariously vague. My current title wasn't a thing when I started at my current place of work five years ago, and a bunch of people are also now architects of various areas partially because they ran out of titles.

The funniest thing though was at the first place I worked, where right before I left they were legitimately suggesting "Software Engineer 0" as a possible title. Because arrays are zero-indexed and I guess they thought it was funny and gave literally no other thought to the possible implications.

# ? Aug 11, 2022 00:15

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Tech startup work culture is terrible in many ways, but the prevalence of wAcKy tItLeS just might be the single worst thing about it. Look at me, I'm the Chief Fun Officer!

# ? Aug 11, 2022 00:18

Achmed Jones: Oct 16, 2004

FMguru posted:

Tech startup work culture is terrible in many ways, but the prevalence of wAcKy tItLeS just might be the single worst thing about it. Look at me, I'm the Chief Fun Officer!

nah

# ? Aug 11, 2022 00:22

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Yeah, tech startup work culture is terrible in general.

# ? Aug 11, 2022 00:24

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

Brawnfire posted:

Oh, it's just a little poo poo-talking your deceased best friend, you're *sisters*!!!

People will use adolescence to excuse the most hosed up things.
Teens are impulsive horny naive fools, which can lead to being assholes at times (like frankly any age group?), but not sociopathic pieces of poo poo.

# ? Aug 11, 2022 00:28

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

WIBTA For Accepting My Cousin's College Fund As Payment From My Aunt?

quote:

Alright, so, I'm (24F) a stripper. I mostly like my job, though as a lesbian it can be kind of frustrating. Still, I like dancing and I like making people's day brighter, and I'm good at it. Doubt I'll want to do it for the rest of my life, but for here and now I'm happy and making good money.

To put it quite simply, my cousin(19M) did some poo poo that I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to talk about, and now he's going to be in jail for...a long rear end time. My aunt(48F) has cut him off completely. Says she has no son, refuses to acknowledge him, and is working on erasing every trace of him from her life.

My aunt is also very rich and very gay, and she has a whole group of friends made up of rich gay women from her industry. It's a big, spread out group that don't manage to get together a ton. But my aunt's best friend is having her 50th birthday bash on her private island (yeah, it's nuts to me too), and my aunt, while in no shape to attend, has decided to distract herself by planning said party.

My aunt offered me the job of entertainment/server. I'll spend the week on the island, during the day I'll be serving drinks and snacks and being eye candy, and during the night I'll dance. (I'm not an escort, don't start with me in the comments). I will also be doing cosplay, because my aunt has some nerd friends, spending time in character and doing routines in costume. And as payment for this week, my aunt has offered me the entirety of my cousin's college fund. And since her plan was designed around him going to an Ivy League and not needing to take any loans, that's a life changing amount of money for me.

I am entirely aware that this would be grossly overpaying me. That while I'll be doing a lot, I'm not doing that much. My mom was eavesdropping when my aunt made me this offer, and has flipped out on me. She says that I'd be taking advantage of my aunt's grief to accept this, that even if my aunt never forgives my cousin (whole other bag of worms) she might regret not taking that money back for her retirement fund or something similar. She's threatening NC if I accept.

WIBTA to take it anyway?

What the gently caress did I just read?

# ? Aug 11, 2022 00:28

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

I could stomach startup culture superficialities and material silliness if it meant that all of the actual tire fires are dealt with promptly and correctly. I�ll work with the Head Honcho of Amazeballs Pwnage as long as I�m being paid equitably and my rights are respected. This does not seem to ever happen! Weird!

# ? Aug 11, 2022 00:29

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

Absurd Alhazred posted:

"Many people are asking what Erika did to cause Sarah to cut her off. I don't totally know - Sarah just told me that Erika was bullying her. Sarah sent me the screenshots, but that was many years ago and I don't like getting involved in their fights anyways. Sarah is apparently also still mad about some things that happened when Erika was 16 - a close friend of Sarah's died and I had to take Sarah to the funeral, causing Erika to miss a sports competition. Erika was really upset and said some terrible things to Sarah - but Erika was only 16 and didn't know better (she had never had a friend die before.) Sarah is apparently still mad about that which I think is evidence of how she can be really resentful"

Textbook case of missing missing reasons. Except for the part where the instigating event isn't missing, OP just refused and still refuses to take it seriously.

quote:

This thread is now locked due to an excess of rule violations.

# ? Aug 11, 2022 00:30

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for Sending an Employee Home to Change?

Darn, can't search for it. Was looking forward to the comments.

# ? Aug 11, 2022 00:31

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Darn, can't search for it. Was looking forward to the comments.

Looks like it's here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wl67h2/aita_for_sending_an_employee_home_to_change/

# ? Aug 11, 2022 00:32

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Hughlander posted:

WIBTA For Accepting My Cousin's College Fund As Payment From My Aunt?

What the gently caress did I just read?

that Lesbian Fire Island is real and OP is offered to be to a dancing barmaid for the sugar mommas, what's so hard to understand?

# ? Aug 11, 2022 00:41

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

For that kind of abrupt cut off I'm guessing the cousin either did a serious hate crime or molested children.

# ? Aug 11, 2022 00:44

mycelia: Apr 28, 2013; POWERFUL FUNGAL LORD

Hughlander posted:

WIBTA For Accepting My Cousin's College Fund As Payment From My Aunt?

What the gently caress did I just read?

Mom's just jealous of her cool rich gay sister. Get that bag, IMO.

# ? Aug 11, 2022 00:44

Defiance Industries: Jul 22, 2010; A five-star manufacturer

I would not want to go to an island full of wealthy people twice my age as "eye candy."

# ? Aug 11, 2022 00:50

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for not wearing contacts on a double date?

A few pages back, but this made me remember the last day of my junior year. I realized my psych teacher, whose class I had been in 5x a week for the past school year, had blue/brown heterochromia.

He hadn't been covering it. I was just real unobservant.

# ? Aug 11, 2022 00:55

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Defiance Industries posted:

I would not want to go to an island full of wealthy people twice my age as "eye candy."

I'd want to be real clear on the ground rules and any "implications," but I imagine that goes with the territory anyway.

# ? Aug 11, 2022 01:00

Chamale: Jul 11, 2010; I'm helping!

MK-Ultramarathon posted:

Yeah especially at smaller places or agencies that have smaller tech teams, titles are hilariously vague. My current title wasn't a thing when I started at my current place of work five years ago, and a bunch of people are also now architects of various areas partially because they ran out of titles.

When MC Hammer was a kid, he got hired as Executive Vice President And Bat Boy for the Oakland A's, because the man who hired him wasn't allowed to hire people below the executive level.

(He later met Hammerin' Hank Aaron in that job, and that's how MC Hammer got his name.)

# ? Aug 11, 2022 01:03

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

No biggie, just pimping out my niece to the Isle of Lesbos.

# ? Aug 11, 2022 01:04

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

The vibe I'm getting is that the OP's mom thinks its not as serious as her sister does, is expecting the cousin to be forgiven in time. if the aunt is rich enough to be renting out islands, then the $200k college fund is likely a drop in the bucket so that excuse makes no sense.

Big chance the crime is something that depending on your political opinions ranges from "death penalty deserved" to "boys will be boys" or the mom is hoping to get that money after she convinces OP to turn it down.

# ? Aug 11, 2022 01:05

Baron von Eevl: Jan 24, 2005; WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR
🔊😴

I feel like there can't be that many gay women in their 50s that own private islands.

# ? Aug 11, 2022 01:06

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 12:58

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

Hughlander posted:

WIBTA For Accepting My Cousin's College Fund As Payment From My Aunt?

Some content, for my sins:

AITA for charging an 8 year old rent?

quote:

I really don�t think I�m the AH but hear me out.

He gets an allowance every week. This is for helping with the dishes, clean up your room with help, and be tidy. Nothing crazy.

His allowance is $25. So $100 a month.

However, I want to charge the boy $20 a month for living expenses. Leaving him $80. His mother thinks there�s something wrong with that and he�s young, so his money should be his.

My intention is to teach him about money management as that�s something that�s very important to me.

I have not thought about consequences if he can�t pay the �rent�. There likely wouldn�t be any.

I�m available for any additional info.

Edit : I am the step father. - I can increase his allowance? But I don�t think that�s what makes me an AH.

I�m working but I�ll thoroughly look through the responses. I appreciate the feedback.

Edit 2: -off of work now. Alright I�m the AH. -I�m going to give the child an allowance as I planned anyway. He can save for �big� purchases for himself and we can talk about the fun stuff when he�s older.

I have a savings account for him already i put into.

-I appreciate the caring redditors DM�ing me about calling CPS and asking for my information. I�m glad to know you care but that won�t be necessary.

I had a bad idea. I thought it was �fun� and everyone would win.

-I would like to thank all of you and hope you have a wonderful end to your Wednesday.

Edit 3

the vitriol is really strong here. For clarity, fathers out of the picture, I�m not stealing from his mother, and I�m providing the allowance. Besides, I�ve already changed my mind

-Wife will have a good time reading this when she gets home lol.

Edit 4 : maybe final -

I will post an update of what we eventually agree upon. I framed this post and my writing poorly, thinking it would be under the radar. I love my son, he�s been in my life for 6 years. We have a great relationship and I just want to see him grow to be better than I ever could be.

Cheers 🍻

# ? Aug 11, 2022 01:17

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

«‹›3575 »