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pencilhands posted:Is it possible that, like the rise in income inequality in the US, we’re also seeing a concentration of sex at the highest sexual income levels - a sort of sex 1%? At the risk of sounding like some MRA weirdo, hasn't it always been a bit like that?
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Oct 20, 2022 04:19
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Eric Cantonese posted:At the risk of sounding like some MRA weirdo, hasn't it always been a bit like that? I believe so. There’s no other explanation I can come up with for my 33 years of virginity.
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Oct 20, 2022 04:22
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pencilhands posted:I believe so. There’s no other explanation I can come up with for my 33 years of virginity. In Islam it is said that when you die you will be as you were at age 33. I’m sorry to break this to you. How many months till your next birthday?
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Oct 20, 2022 04:24
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Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:There's a lot of interesting/wild social changes that don't have an exact explanation. The chart and the tweet claim don't match. And links to an article from 2019
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Oct 20, 2022 04:26
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geee why aren't the young pepole feeling sexy as the world falls into dystopia who knows
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Oct 20, 2022 05:43
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Jaxyon posted:geee why aren't the young pepole feeling sexy as the world falls into dystopia This is why they've stopped having kids, but if it's true they aren't even trying to gently caress any more that's kinda weird
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Oct 20, 2022 05:56
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haveblue posted:This is why they've stopped having kids, but if it's true they aren't even trying to gently caress any more that's kinda weird In all seriousness, depression is very unsexy and this world is absolutely terrifying right now.
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Oct 20, 2022 06:02
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Eric Cantonese posted:I know it's not fun to think about, but what's the least bad realistic option when it comes to Haiti? In the short-term, getting the blockades cleared out and critical infrastructure and logistics secured is an absolute necessity. And unlike a true rebellion, gang warfare isn't easy to stop with just political and economic concessions. There will likely need to be an armed deterrent of some kind to at least restrain their movements. They're ultimately gangs using a local monopoly on violence to prey on undefended shipping and families, not insurgents fighting to the death to drive off invaders, so something like that should hopefully be at least somewhat effective. In the long-term, there isn't really any tried-and-true solution to this kind of political chaos. Haiti has basically no military (it was disbanded in the 90s in hopes of stemming the trend of military coups), serious corruption problems among the fairly small police force, and gangsters who were allegedly given immunity and weaponry by the police as part of corrupt deals with previous administrations. With all that in mind, there's little to no hope of the government regaining the monopoly on violence anytime soon; no amount of foreign help will be able to have a long-term impact there as long as the government is weak, corrupt, and lacking major public support. On the economic side of things, an already bad situation is getting the usual IMF treatment that's making everything worse, and even massive subsidies and aid wouldn't necessarily solve the problems so easily. And while it's pretty clear by this point that Henry is pretty crappy at the job and plenty unpopular to boot, finding a replacement who's up to the enormous challenge of bringing things under control won't be easy. But while bringing Haiti back to stability is a problem that won't be easy to solve, it should at least be possible to clear up the immediate humanitarian crisis. As bad as things are in Haiti, by far the biggest problem is that it's become impossible to consistently supply food and fuel to many areas of the country, which in turn is having a serious impact on other critical services like healthcare and sanitation. Even if actually getting rid of the gangs won't be easy, it should at least be possible for a decently-equipped armed force to drive them away from port facilities and major roads, staving off the immediate risk of famine and helping get the current cholera epidemic under control. Maybe if everyone's really lucky, it might even be able to somewhat reduce violence levels in major residential areas, though that might be a bit of blind optimism from me.
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Oct 20, 2022 06:24
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pencilhands posted:Is it possible that, like the rise in income inequality in the US, we’re also seeing a concentration of sex at the highest sexual income levels - a sort of sex 1%? I think that’s probably true and that widespread adoption of dating apps has precipitated the trend. Not trying to go all red pill, Jordan Peterson here, but we know the apps have a far greater number of men than women and allow people to see an entire cross section of the population. Women tend to be way more selective than men, so the ones looking for something casual are largely matching with (and sleeping with) the most attractive guys. It’s the classic distribution of 20% of the dudes getting 80% of the right swipes. It’s harder to imagine that concentration of sexual capital in a world without dating apps since you have to meet people organically, and in that scenario it makes intuitive sense that a larger number of guys would end up getting laid. I doubt that’s the whole story, but I’d be surprised if it didn’t play a role. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Oct 20, 2022 06:39
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Tacier posted:Not trying to go all red pill, Jordan Peterson here, but "...I'm going to anyway"
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Oct 20, 2022 07:38
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some plague rats posted:"...I'm going to anyway" For real. Tacier posted:I think that’s probably true and that widespread adoption of dating apps has precipitated the trend. Not trying to go all red pill, Jordan Peterson here, but we know the apps have a far greater number of men than women and allow people to see an entire cross section of the population. Women tend to be way more selective than men, so the ones looking for something casual are largely matching with (and sleeping with) the most attractive guys. It’s the classic distribution of 20% of the dudes getting 80% of the right swipes.  Take your incel poo poo elsewhere dude. They won't date you because you suck.
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Oct 20, 2022 07:48
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haveblue posted:This is why they've stopped having kids, but if it's true they aren't even trying to gently caress any more that's kinda weird As an elder millennial with younger cousins, a big part of this are the kids who grew up fully online. There's a noticeable difference among my younger cousins between the ones who spent every waking hour possible on their phone or at a PC and the ones who were more social, participated in more activities, etc.
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Oct 20, 2022 07:50
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Lack of access to resources and mobility is also a big thing. In 2008 and 2009 even younger people suddenly shut out of jobs and stability still had some vestiges of it, but a decade later you're looking at people in their 20s and 30s still living with their parents or with multiple roommates just to scrape by, with unstable low paying jobs or long term unemployed, atomised and isolated and lucky to even have personal transport. It's not even who they're going to gently caress but where. Also apparently a lot of straight women are apparently having so much trouble finding men that aren't completely awful in so many ways they've given up. Probably gels with how a large and probably growing amount of young men weren't so much raised by their parents as they were kept alive and vaguely presentable when necessary, and have electronics thrown at them to keep them quiet by guardians who otherwise stare blankly at the prospect that he might have problems.
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Oct 20, 2022 10:21
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Jaxyon posted:For real. youre projecting  anyways, it's well documented that women swipe right at a lower rate than men. Whatever the reason for that, who knows.
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Oct 20, 2022 11:23
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Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:There's a lot of interesting/wild social changes that don't have an exact explanation. IIRC, the questions used in those surveys counted their virginity as having heterosexual sex.
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Oct 20, 2022 12:21
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I've been harboring the suspicion that a lot of dating sites/apps have gone down the big data rabbit hole to maximise profits. They don't get more money if you find a person you like and stop using their product. They do get more money if you're constantly matched with people you're not going to end up long term compatible with then come back and try again.
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Oct 20, 2022 12:28
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BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:youre projecting
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Oct 20, 2022 12:29
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bird food bathtub posted:I've been harboring the suspicion that a lot of dating sites/apps have gone down the big data rabbit hole to maximise profits. They don't get more money if you find a person you like and stop using their product. They do get more money if you're constantly matched with people you're not going to end up long term compatible with then come back and try again. If nothing else they've gotten way worse in general in recent years. Jacking up the prices while locking more and more basic features behind the (egregiously expensive) premium subscriptions. It sucks!
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Oct 20, 2022 12:32
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Jaxyon posted:For real. Do you have this saved for calling out incels or did you have to go find it?
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Oct 20, 2022 12:36
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Dating apps are an additional way to meet people. They don't magically dissolve all the other ways to meet people. Another issue to consider is that Roe v. Wade was recently overturned. Even in states where abortion remains legal, it will be more difficult to get one because the needs of women who live in other states will strain resources. The risk of life-changing consequences from sex (above and beyond the strains of pregnancy itself) just got much higher for any woman who is capable of getting pregnant. Men are also at risk for life-changing consequences; it's already very difficult to save up enough money to buy a house without making child support payments. Birth control pills, condoms, sponges, etc. are not 100% effective even when used properly. Depo-provera injections can have very unpleasant side effects, such as "spotting" (the woman's next period never ends, not until well after the birth control drugs are no longer in her system). IUDs can also have very unpleasant side effects. The safest options are to either not have sex, or to only have the types of sex that are 100% incapable of causing pregnancy. Victar fucked around with this message at 12:47 on Oct 20, 2022 |
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Oct 20, 2022 12:45
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BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:anyways, it's well documented that women swipe right at a lower rate than men. Whatever the reason for that, who knows. IDK it's not that mysterious and is pretty obvious. The average woman puts more effort into her appearance and her inter-personal relationships than the average man and so the average woman is probably more attractive to men than the average man is to women. Combine this with the cultural tradition where it is the role of men to ask out women and not the other way around and it becomes pretty obvious why women can be more selective in dating and online dating sites. silence_kit fucked around with this message at 13:00 on Oct 20, 2022 |
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Oct 20, 2022 12:56
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Also your average man is much more likely to have a satisfying encounter with a stranger, and your average woman has to worry about the much higher odds of things going even worse than just "not good."
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Oct 20, 2022 13:00
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I was never able to make a dating app profile even when I was (rather desperately) single... the idea of trying to present myself on paper, having to take a good photo of myself (none exist), plus I have no social media presence which everybody assured me would be seen as suspicious and weird. Honestly the idea of subjecting myself to the judgment of a world of strangers and a culture I openly reject put me in a bad place. A life of being an outsider taught me trying to get people to like you only ends in heartache, as much as that may be a "me" problem online dating still seems like they took the difficulties of dating and added the problems of social media. Anyway, I live with my gf now but I don't know where or how I'd meet people if I were single. You could meet girls at college, and at parties, and sometimes at work, but as we get older parties are few and far between and messing around with coworkers is not the best idea for obvious reasons. I find the internet incel thing as distasteful as anyone else (especially the misogyny and alt-right type stuff), but then I'm lucky I didn't end up in that world and I feel bad for the One more time, not that it's an excuse to be a nazi, goddamn. Its scary to watch people's misfortune in love turn to misogyny, especially when they know better. I think we've all seen it happen.
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Oct 20, 2022 14:02
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Jaxyon posted:For real. Statistically, the large gap between the amount of women having sex and the amount of men having sex means that he is basically correct, though. It's not as extreme as 80/20, but a minority of young men are having most of the sex among young men. There was almost no gap in 2008 and 2009. So, it is a different situation from even relatively recent history.
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Oct 20, 2022 14:12
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Victar posted:Dating apps are an additional way to meet people. They don't magically dissolve all the other ways to meet people. All of the data from those surveys is from before Roe v. Wade was overturned. Ironically, after Obamacare made contraception free, sex started going down among both men and women (but, the decrease was much larger among men). So, the idea that it was all driven by "higher consequences from having sex" doesn't really track.
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Oct 20, 2022 14:20
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People famously only have sex when it's a perfectly rational decision
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Oct 20, 2022 14:29
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Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:All of the data from those surveys is from before Roe v. Wade was overturned. I was talking about the issue of reduced sex in general. I doubt there's been enough time to compile an accurate survey of how overturning Roe has affected sexual behavior in the US yet. I'm not saying reduced sex is "all driven" from the consequences of having sex; I'm saying that the consequences of having sex is a significant factor. "Obamacare made contraception free" is mostly true, but not 100% true. There are exemptions. https://obamacarefacts.com/obamacare-birth-control/ The above article has some useful advice for obtaining free birth control regardless of one's insurance status. I think another significant factor for reduced sex among young people is the increased concentration of wealth among older people, and of course COVID screwed everything up. The 2019 survey/article mentioned reduced rates of marriage among younger people (because married people tend to have more sex) and religious values as contributing to reduced sex.
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Oct 20, 2022 15:15
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Also apparently a lot of straight women are apparently having so much trouble finding men that aren't completely awful in so many ways they've given up. Probably gels with how a large and probably growing amount of young men weren't so much raised by their parents as they were kept alive and vaguely presentable when necessary, and have electronics thrown at them to keep them quiet by guardians who otherwise stare blankly at the prospect that he might have problems. This is probably a question for a much different thread, but I keep hearing about how common unsolicited dick pics are on dating apps and I wonder when it became a thing for dudes to think "Oh, let me take a picture of my junk and send it out!" Is it a sign of how we really don't know how to talk to each other anymore? And at the risk of sounding like Jordan Peterson (ugh), I think we're just beginning to see what it's like for people to have gone through puberty in the age of ubiquitous online porn. I imagine that has had an effect on the amount of actual sex people are having.
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Oct 20, 2022 15:24
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Eric Cantonese posted:This is probably a question for a much different thread, but I keep hearing about how common unsolicited dick pics are on dating apps and I wonder when it became a thing for dudes to think "Oh, let me take a picture of my junk and send it out!" Is it a sign of how we really don't know how to talk to each other anymore? No data to back it up but I’d assume from the moment it became possible to send pictures to other people with your phone! Remembering the Bret Favre dick pics scandal, Anthony Weiner, etc People who didn’t grow up online were doing it years ago, it was/is just another aspect of toxic masculinity and misogyny
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Oct 20, 2022 15:29
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Eric Cantonese posted:This is probably a question for a much different thread, but I keep hearing about how common unsolicited dick pics are on dating apps and I wonder when it became a thing for dudes to think "Oh, let me take a picture of my junk and send it out!" Is it a sign of how we really don't know how to talk to each other anymore? Why would a self-sufficient man or woman want to date anyone like the current modern standard of a man? What we culturally accept men to be is a loving disgrace.
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Oct 20, 2022 15:31
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Dang Liz Truss just resigned. Too bad our fascists have more staying power over here.
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Oct 20, 2022 15:33
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FLIPADELPHIA posted:Dang Liz Truss just resigned. Too bad our fascists have more staying power over here. She'll just get replaced with someone equally horrible. And I think there's a very good chance Boris Johnson comes back? I'm sure the GOP would be way less scattered than the Conservative Party.
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Oct 20, 2022 15:36
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Yeah the male loneliness statistic is concerning. But it's really hard to talk about on the left (for understandable reasons) and pretty impossible to find a solution or advice. Like okay, you've persuaded enough people on the left that we should discuss this. Then what? Men are having a hard time finding partners. Okay? "It's poverty that's doing it." Well then they're hosed. We're in Late Stage Capitalism heading towards a depression. "They have to live with their parents." Well then they're hosed. The prices of houses are not going down. "They're isolated because there's no walkable cities." Well then they're hosed. We're never going to have walkable cities. And so on. You can provide leftist explanations for people's problems but "upend capitalism and install communism" is not a practical solution to people's personal, immediate problems. Like really the best you can do is to provide men a space in progressive circles where they can emotionally support each other and give advice on how to survive and find love in Nightmare Hellworld, but I don't know how that is not going to end up becoming misogynistic. You put a bunch of sad men in a room, and they're going to complain about women. Automata 10 Pack fucked around with this message at 16:09 on Oct 20, 2022 |
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Oct 20, 2022 15:55
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FLIPADELPHIA posted:Dang Liz Truss just resigned. Too bad our fascists have more staying power over here. It's ok. The lettuce remains.
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Oct 20, 2022 15:56
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Jaxyon posted:geee why aren't the young pepole feeling sexy as the world falls into dystopia I dunno. According to the classics, loving is pretty popular in a dystopia.
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Oct 20, 2022 16:03
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Heck Yes! Loam! posted:Why would a self-sufficient man or woman want to date anyone like the current modern standard of a man? What we culturally accept men to be is a loving disgrace. Hate to ask but uh, you may wanna elaborate on this quote that could feature on a "what youtube channel comment section did this originate from" game.
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Oct 20, 2022 16:22
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errr, this being the US Current Events thread I'd suggest that the conversation re: sex and dating, loneliness etc focus on societal problems and data and not veer much into psychology of dating or  because I feel like it's getting slightly weird itt and I dunno that this is the venue for that discussion
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Oct 20, 2022 16:23
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Fritz the Horse posted:errr, this being the US Current Events thread I'd suggest that the conversation re: sex and dating, loneliness etc focus on societal problems and data and not veer much into psychology of dating or
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Oct 20, 2022 16:27
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cat botherer posted:The sex stuff is really just a microcosm of alienation that our system produces in people. It's the same reason why rates of anxiety, depression, and alcoholism are going nuts. The study linked earlier about 1 in 7 men saying they have 0 friends is pretty stark. "Bowling Alone" is a little outdated with its references and examples, but the general thesis still seems to hold. If anybody hasn't read it before, this interview with the author is a pretty good summary and discussion. https://twitter.com/ssoreagan/status/1582808464572968960
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Oct 20, 2022 16:35
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Gumball Gumption posted:Do you have this saved for calling out incels or did you have to go find it? Kismet. I have a FB group where people make fun of red pill types and it just so happens one came up that made the exact same argument as this guy.
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Oct 20, 2022 16:59
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