r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

When my kid was a young babby my ex asked me once if I wanted milk in my tea for breakfast one morning, and when I said yes thank you please, she drive-by breastmilked my tea, and spent the next 15 minutes just crying with laughter on the floor. It didn't taste all that good :v:

# ? Nov 27, 2022 12:47

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# ? May 31, 2024 05:37

Pomme de Terror: Sep 30, 2021; Well, one of us must have killed him!

AITA for telling my sister to stop leaving her room when she's wearing her nightgown?

quote:

My 26, female, sister moved in with me 29, female, and my husband 32, male, days ago after her divorce was finalized then lost her job and was no longer being able to pay rent for her apartment.

We're mostly in agreement about everything except, I've been kind of having an issue with what she wears especially at nighttime when she unwind and tend to relax a bit as she says. I think that what she wears is inappropriate. She usually wear silky nightwear (nightgowns mostly). She says that's just "her style" and is what she's been wearing for years. Not just that, but she'd come out of her room dressing like that to grab water or use the bathroom. While yes, it was just me who saw her dressed like that I honestly could not risk having an argument with my husband over it. I suggested she buys some pjs but she said that she doesn't "feel comfortable" in them.

Last night, I saw her in the kitchen grabbing something from the fridge and was dressed in a purple, strapped, knee length nightgown. I tried to speak to her about it but it didn't go well. We started arguing and I ended up telling her to stop leaving her room when she's wearing stuff like that and she argued that there was nothing wrong with what she was wearing, that it wasn't like she was walking around naked or anything of the sort. I told her it's my home and she's a guest and should just respect my request but she responded saying that just because she lives in my house does not mean that I have the right to control what she wears then stormed off to her room.

We haven't talked since then and she is refusing to talk about it.

Edit: I wanna post a pic of the nightgown but don't know how. I'll see what I can do.

Edit: here's the dress. It's not identical but close to what she was wearing, very close.

Look at it and give judgement. Let me know if the link is not working.

# ? Nov 27, 2022 12:48

Lazy_Liberal: Sep 17, 2005; These stones are precious

therobit posted:

I have accidentally tasted breast milk and it is not good. What a jerk, taking food out of the mouth of a child.

don't listen to this man. human milk is great. just don't steal it like a coward.

# ? Nov 27, 2022 13:38

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Pomme de Terror posted:

AITA for telling my sister to stop leaving her room when she's wearing her nightgown?

Tell me you don't trust your husband without telling me you don't trust your husband.

Lazy_Liberal posted:

don't listen to this man. human milk is great. just don't steal it like a coward.

I'm not going to judge whatever fetish poo poo grown adults want to do with breast milk, but I mean given the availability of it... if human breast milk tasted good/paired well with stuff, it would have found its way into the mainstream. Humans eat way weirder poo poo on the regular just because we found out it tasted good enough to offset the reality of what we were actually eating.

# ? Nov 27, 2022 15:16

The Alchemist: Dec 12, 2010

teen witch posted:

AITA for scolding my husband who was using my breast milk in his tea?

I told him that i don�t pump my breast milk for him and he should have whole milk like a normal human being.

Cow milk's not for humans though.

# ? Nov 27, 2022 15:20

Cerekk: Sep 24, 2004; Oh my god, JC!

therobit posted:

Which is why we probably need some minimum standards. Economy plus is still worse than flying coach 30 years ago. American asses have grown by 4 inches while seats have narrowed by about the same amount. And Econmoy plus or premium economy doesn�t always get a wider seat. Sometimes it�s just an extra couple inches of leg room. And the alternative is usually first class for thousands of dollars more.
.

Economy seats haven't actually gotten narrower for the most part. The narrowest widely-used seats are in the 737, which has had the same width seats for over 50 years. What has happened is 1) bigger people, and 2) scheduling optimization leading to planes that are always full. Nobody minds a 17" wide seat when the middle seats are all empty and business class upgrades are widespread.

# ? Nov 27, 2022 16:06

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Cloacamazing! posted:

The list of haram food also includes stuff like bees and a bunch of poisonous things. It's probably just to make extra sure that even the stupidest rear end on the planet won't kill themselves with food, but my imagination has replaced this with a guy stuffing bees in his mouth while yelling "There's no law that says I can't eat bees! You can't make me!".

How else do you solve your problems if not eating bees?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyZl8bIJo9w

# ? Nov 27, 2022 16:15

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

teen witch posted:

AITA for scolding my husband who was using my breast milk in his tea?

Give him a break, he ran out of placenta for sandwiches weeks ago

# ? Nov 27, 2022 16:50

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for asking my girlfriend to start making me breakfast every morning?

quote:

I (27m) have been living with my girlfriend (29f) for several months now. For the most part things are really good and I plan to propose soon and hopefully have at least a couple of kids with her.

However we've run up against a conflict.

She's an absolute morning person. I hate mornings. By the time I force myself out of bed in the morning and into the shower she's already been up for at least 30 minutes--even though she has to be at work later than I do--and is at the stove making breakfast. She likes a huge breakfast in the morning. She usually has eggs, either French toast or pancakes, hashbrowns or breakfast potatoes, and sausage or bacon. Sometimes on weekends it's ham or steak. She eats almost nothing for lunch and usually has a smallish dinner but she loves a huge breakfast.

Meanwhile I only ever have cold cereal for breakfast, or MAYBE if I'm feeling really ambitious some instant oatmeal and orange juice. I only even start to come alive halfway through my second cup of coffee and definitely don't feel like cooking in the morning.

However my girlfriend obviously does. So recently I asked her if she'd start making breakfast for me, too. She asked if we were going to trade off and if I'd sometimes make breakfast for her, too. I told her "no" but reminded her that I do often make dinner for her. She said that since we trade off making dinner we should trade off making breakfast, too. I told her that there is no way I'll ever be able to muster that kind of energy first thing in the morning, but that since she obviously can that she should just make me breakfast too. I said that it would take next to no extra effort on her part to throw in a couple more eggs, strips of bacon, an extra portion of hashbrowns, etc since she's already doing it for herself, anyway. But it started a fight, with her saying that it wasn't fair for me to expect her to think of me in the morning since I don't do the same for her.

She seems to think that her making breakfast for me should figure into our division of labor and that I should do something extra in return. But I think that since she makes a huge breakfast for herself every morning anyway that throwing an extra portion of whatever she's making on for me would take next-to no effort on her part, so why should I have to do more for her in return than I already do?

I am reminded of the post or part of it posted where the dude angrily asked his girlfriend if her orgasm was as important as his.

AITA For Not Agreeing To Give My Entire Inheritance My Uncle Left Me To My Cousins Who Was Their Father?

quote:

Throwaway Account

Okay this is a bit messy but please stick with me.

I (26f) have am my mom's (54f) child and only daughter to my dad who she met after breaking up with my uncle "Bob" (53m) who had cheated on her with my aunt "Jane" (51f) and was pressured into marriage by their parents finding out Jane was pregnant with my cousin "Amelia" (32f). I'm not sure about all the details but from what I've gathered Bob started sleeping with Amelia because she was willing while my mom wanted to wait until marriage. My grandparents were very religious and traditionalists.

My mom was devastated and cut Bob and Amelia out of her life for years and went LC with my grandparents after they retried pushing for reconciliation after Amelia was born. Eventually, my mom met my dad and got engaged and I guess by that point she was truly over Bob because she invited him, Jane, Amelia, and their son "Bob Jr" (28m) to the wedding. Jane was bummed out that she couldn't be a bridesmaid or that my mom made my god sister her flower girl instead of Amelia and there was an argument. Before the wedding there was a sit down between my parents, Bob, Jane, and my maternal grandparents where my mom said that she was willing to have some type of relationship with all of them but only under the condition that they all agreed to never speak about the past again.

From that day on me and my cousins all grew up together and never knew the truth and I thought we were all one big happy family. So I was surprised my mom wasn't as sympathetic as I thought she should be when it turned out that Bob had been cheating on my aunt multiple times with different women. They later divorced after Bob had gotten one of flings pregnant.

Bob moved away and barely saw my cousins but he always sent me cards, presents, and messages. I also didn't find out until later but he actually paid for my college in secret so I didn't have any debt while Amelia and Bob only got partial help from him.

Recently my uncle Bob passed away and his lawyer requested that I attend the will reading and I went to more so support my cousins. I was floored when I realized that I got almost everything. That's when the secret came out and it was revealed that Bob never got over my mom, was still in love with her, and always as me as the daughter that should've been his.

It took me getting a DNA test to prove that I was my father's daughter to convince everyone that my mom never slept with Bob, and during that time my cousins and Bob's other children said some really nasty things to me. After some time had cooled off I looked at the total value of my share of around $400,000 (after fees) and agreed to just give 50% to my cousins. They weren't happy and felt that as Bob's legal children they should get EVERYTHING, wouldn't hear about accepting any less, and called me a greedy witch with a b. AITA?

# ? Nov 27, 2022 16:51

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA For Not Agreeing To Give My Entire Inheritance My Uncle Left Me To My Cousins Who Was Their Father?

lmao imagine getting offered half of the inheritance like that and saying "NO IT'S ALL OR NOTHING" to a person who's not obligated to give you anything

# ? Nov 27, 2022 16:58

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for asking my girlfriend to start making me breakfast every morning?

C'moooonnn just do it, I won't even notice the extra work

# ? Nov 27, 2022 16:59

kru: Oct 5, 2003

witch with a b

# ? Nov 27, 2022 17:03

Peg Sliderskew: Jan 4, 2010

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for asking my girlfriend to start making me breakfast every morning?

I am reminded of the post or part of it posted where the dude angrily asked his girlfriend if her orgasm was as important as his.

AITA For Not Agreeing To Give My Entire Inheritance My Uncle Left Me To My Cousins Who Was Their Father?

Hope "Bob" didn't actually sleep with his daughter "Amelia" however willing she was...

# ? Nov 27, 2022 17:05

Woozie66: Sep 8, 2009; I'll wait for the next era

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for asking my girlfriend to start making me breakfast every morning?

There's absolutely an approach of "crack two more eggs into a scramble for me" or "just add a couple more bacon slices into the pan" where it doesn't really add any effort or time to the girlfriends morning. But the dude is asking for a full replica of the full breakfast and is offering literally nothing in return. Like, even if he will never be up early enough for breakfast, he can just double the effort on cooking dinner. A garbage man.

# ? Nov 27, 2022 17:27

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Man I loving hate people like that guy "oh I'm just not a morning person!" No one is a morning person, you're just a lazy piece of poo poo!

# ? Nov 27, 2022 17:41

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for asking my girlfriend to start making me breakfast every morning?

I am reminded of the post or part of it posted where the dude angrily asked his girlfriend if her orgasm was as important as his.

AITA For Not Agreeing To Give My Entire Inheritance My Uncle Left Me To My Cousins Who Was Their Father?

Nobody actually still reads the wills out, these days, correct? It's a fun story but this seems off to me.

# ? Nov 27, 2022 18:03

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

value-brand cereal posted:

Nobody actually still reads the wills out, these days, correct? It's a fun story but this seems off to me.

I don't believe it's standard but someone dramatic enough could insist upon it I guess.

# ? Nov 27, 2022 18:04

kdrudy: Sep 19, 2009

Biplane posted:

Man I loving hate people like that guy "oh I'm just not a morning person!" No one is a morning person, you're just a lazy piece of poo poo!

Right, just go to bed a bit earlier. You don't have to pay League of Legends until 2am.

(There is zero context to suggest that is the case, but would we be surprised?)

# ? Nov 27, 2022 18:08

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Biplane posted:

Man I loving hate people like that guy "oh I'm just not a morning person!" No one is a morning person, you're just a lazy piece of poo poo!

my dad wakes up at five AM every day and loving loves getting an early start

he's absolutely goddamn insane

like I'm not even disagreeing with you, but those monsters are out there

# ? Nov 27, 2022 18:16

The Alchemist: Dec 12, 2010

value-brand cereal posted:

Nobody actually still reads the wills out, these days, correct? It's a fun story but this seems off to me.

I have no idea how people with half a million wealth do their things.

# ? Nov 27, 2022 18:19

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Lol, I checked the comments on breakfast guy and it turns out "we take turns making dinner" actually means "we have an agreement where whoever gets home first makes dinner, also I usually get home later than her". Sounds like even more of a winner than I thought!

# ? Nov 27, 2022 18:20

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Biplane posted:

When my kid was a young babby my ex asked me once if I wanted milk in my tea for breakfast one morning, and when I said yes thank you please, she drive-by breastmilked my tea, and spent the next 15 minutes just crying with laughter on the floor. It didn't taste all that good

That�s the funniest thing I�ve read in a while.

Peg Sliderskew posted:

Hope "Bob" didn't actually sleep with his daughter "Amelia" however willing she was...

What the gently caress

# ? Nov 27, 2022 18:22

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

value-brand cereal posted:

Nobody actually still reads the wills out, these days, correct? It's a fun story but this seems off to me.

No, that's exactly how you know any of these stories that include it are fake. It's someone who doesn't know anything about the process using a trope they've read before.

# ? Nov 27, 2022 18:23

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Fil5000 posted:

I don't believe it's standard but someone dramatic enough could insist upon it I guess.

Dude who never got over his ex sounds the kind for that kinda drama.

Like that king from A Song of Ice and Fire who had like 35 bastards and legitimized all of them on his deathbed.

AITA for kicking MIL out of thanksgiving because everyone wanted me to?

quote:

MIL is kind of the black sheep of the family for a couple of reasons, she wants nothing to do with the religion they were raised in, she's very difficult, her husband's obnoxious, and her siblings are tired of getting compared to her (that one is their fault, their dad just wants them to get jobs) Her siblings are kind of mean to her at times, but I find MIL extremely unlikable.

MIL got married a couple years ago. She hired a wedding planner as she is a total workaholic who wanted nothing to do with this wedding. The wedding planner ended up loving MIL's dad and he left his wife of decades to be with her. Needless to say we were all furious. He is now engaged to the wedding planner (who is the same age as MIL, his youngest kid)

Recently we did Thanksgiving at my house. It was my first time ever hosting and I was excited. It came out in conversation that the family just assumed MIL stiffed the woman for the bill. MIL revealed that she didn't and she paid her, and the family was furious. His grandma began crying and everyone began berating MIL and her husband.

I tried to change the subject but to no avail. MILs sister said MIL needed to leave the table as she isn't family. MIL said not paying a bill is tacky and she didn't want to go to court over something dumb. They pointed out her dad never would have let her get sued. I personally don't think it is a big deal that she paid the bill, but they were all saying she shouldn't be at the table.

I asked MIL to leave as the majority of my guests didn't want her and it was ruining the evening. MIL called me a fake bitch and her husband unloaded. MIL then started fake crying and stormed off. She told her dad who also bitched at me and said I'm a coward and a poo poo host.

# ? Nov 27, 2022 18:25

HopperUK: Apr 29, 2007; Why would an ambulance be leaving the hospital?

I use 'I'm not a morning person' to mean 'I can't really function until my meds kick in, give me an hour'. But then I'm not simultaneously demanding somebody make me a full breakfast, so.

# ? Nov 27, 2022 18:26

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for kicking MIL out of thanksgiving because everyone wanted me to?

# ? Nov 27, 2022 18:28

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for kicking MIL out of thanksgiving because everyone wanted me to?

This family is a cringe comedy

# ? Nov 27, 2022 18:49

artsy fartsy: May 10, 2014; You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

DACK FAYDEN posted:

my dad wakes up at five AM every day and loving loves getting an early start

he's absolutely goddamn insane

like I'm not even disagreeing with you, but those monsters are out there

Hey I'm one of these. I set my alarm for 5 but usually wake up before it goes off. I have a poo poo ton of energy and focus in the morning, and will put off household chores and exercising till the morning 'cause that's when I still have motivation to get poo poo done.

The trade-off is being a lethargic, unmotivated, lazy-rear end and most-likely drunken couch potato starting around 6-7 pm. I have no idea how this happened.

# ? Nov 27, 2022 19:37

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

artsy fartsy posted:

The trade-off is being a lethargic, unmotivated, lazy-rear end and most-likely drunken couch potato starting around 6-7 pm. I have no idea how this happened.

Some of us can achieve this without putting in the effort to get up early and do stuff :smugdog:

# ? Nov 27, 2022 19:53

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

kdrudy posted:

Right, just go to bed a bit earlier. You don't have to pay League of Legends until 2am.

(There is zero context to suggest that is the case, but would we be surprised?)

�Just go to bed a bit earlier� doesn�t really do much for people with later circadian rhythms, it doesn�t matter how early I go to bed when my brain/body simply refuses to fall asleep before midnight

# ? Nov 27, 2022 20:05

atomicdream: Oct 4, 2017; shaking my money maker to fund my crippling glamour addiction.

Biplane posted:

When my kid was a young babby my ex asked me once if I wanted milk in my tea for breakfast one morning, and when I said yes thank you please, she drive-by breastmilked my tea, and spent the next 15 minutes just crying with laughter on the floor. It didn't taste all that good

I'm not even a week post-partum, and my sutures were at risk because of how hard I laughed at this. We're going formula so I could get back on my medications ASAP, but this is 100% something I would do to my husband if he didn't take his coffee black.

# ? Nov 27, 2022 20:21

HopperUK: Apr 29, 2007; Why would an ambulance be leaving the hospital?

The Maroon Hawk posted:

�Just go to bed a bit earlier� doesn�t really do much for people with later circadian rhythms, it doesn�t matter how early I go to bed when my brain/body simply refuses to fall asleep before midnight

Yup. I sleep from 3am to 11am and if I go to bed earlier I lie awake till 3am.

# ? Nov 27, 2022 20:25

Guildenstern Mother: Mar 31, 2010; Why walk when you can ride?

HopperUK posted:

Yup. I sleep from 3am to 11am and if I go to bed earlier I lie awake till 3am.

That was me for decades and then my work schedule shifted to 'be in at 7am' and suddenly falling asleep at 11 is easy as hell.

# ? Nov 27, 2022 20:33

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

AITA for leaving Thanksgiving dinner after my SIL got snarky with me and some people started defending her?

quote:

I'm (27F) not close to my SIL (26F). We're not at each other's throats or anything, but she just seems to be slacking off sometimes. I've tried to help her out a bit and talk to her, but she never wanted to hear it. SIL recently got a new entry level job that she'll be relocating for.

We celebrated Thanksgiving with my husband's (29M) family this year, and it was a massive get together. A lot of people congratulated SIL on her new job, which is understandable. However, my in-laws were acting like they'd won a billion dollars.

Some relatives kept asking about SIL's new job, when she'll be moving etc. I tried to change the topic, but my SIL got kind of pissed and said something like "You don't have to be a part of this conversation". I replied that we're all proud of her, maybe people want to talk about other things sometimes too. SIL again, got very snarky and said "Again, leave the conversation".

I'll admit I got annoyed at that point and said "Coming from the woman who's milking compliments for something most people achieve by the age of 16".

My SIL got really mad and said I have no position saying that. There were a few people around that started going off at me. I eventually walked off and told my husband I was leaving. He didn't know what was going on at that point, but in the heat of the moment I just took the car and left. A cousin ended up dropping him off at home.

My SIL is obviously pissed at me and my husband heard the whole thing, he said I created a scene for no reason and should apologize to SIL (even though people started going off at me). I shared this with my mom and she said I wasn't wrong and people are coddling SIL.

I get that I might've overreacted a bit but I think it was justified.

AITA?

# ? Nov 27, 2022 20:37

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

atomicdream posted:

I'm not even a week post-partum, and my sutures were at risk because of how hard I laughed at this. We're going formula so I could get back on my medications ASAP, but this is 100% something I would do to my husband if he didn't take his coffee black.

Congratulations!

On the breast milk front, I tasted my own because how could you not? (No, I'm not a contortionist.) Waterier and sweeter than cow milk.

# ? Nov 27, 2022 20:43

LawfulWaffle: Mar 11, 2014; Well, that aligns with the vibes I was getting. Which was, like, "normal" kinda vibes.

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for kicking MIL out of thanksgiving because everyone wanted me to?

I mean, you ran to Reddit to crowdsource an opinion on you crowdsourcing the decision to kick out your mother-in-law so I think it's clear that you are a coward. Being a poo poo host just follows naturally.

# ? Nov 27, 2022 20:45

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

artsy fartsy posted:

Hey I'm one of these. I set my alarm for 5 but usually wake up before it goes off. I have a poo poo ton of energy and focus in the morning, and will put off household chores and exercising till the morning 'cause that's when I still have motivation to get poo poo done.

The trade-off is being a lethargic, unmotivated, lazy-rear end and most-likely drunken couch potato starting around 6-7 pm. I have no idea how this happened.

how about you make me a full breakfast every day then ? in return ill fluff your pillows for you at 7 PM

# ? Nov 27, 2022 20:45

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

For me it's also 3am, and has been since I was a kid. Going to bed earlier just means even more staring at the wall.

# ? Nov 27, 2022 20:47

Blue Moonlight: Apr 28, 2005; Bitter and Sarcastic

Piell posted:

AITA for leaving Thanksgiving dinner after my SIL got snarky with me and some people started defending her?

Can we take bets on whether or not the comments reveal the �entry level job� is actually at some place like Google or Apple, and that the OP is a stay-at-home spouse who has dedicated pet bedrooms?

# ? Nov 27, 2022 20:48

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# ? May 31, 2024 05:37

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Piell posted:

AITA for leaving Thanksgiving dinner after my SIL got snarky with me and some people started defending her?

Well if mom's on your side, that means everyone related to the actual person and event is wrong. You can remind them of that if it ever seems like you're becoming the in-law that nobody likes having around for some reason.

e:

Blue Moonlight posted:

Can we take bets on whether or not the comments reveal the “entry level job” is actually at some place like Google or Apple, and that the OP is a stay-at-home spouse who has dedicated pet bedrooms?

It's Department of Homeland Security :v:

# ? Nov 27, 2022 20:48

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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