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(Thread IKs: fart simpson)
 
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gradenko_2000
Oct 5, 2010

HELL SERPENT
Lipstick Apathy

mawarannahr posted:

.llɘw ƨɒ ƨqυ-ʞɔɒd noollɒd ɘmoƨ bliυd oɈ .Ƨ.U ɘʜɈ ɿoʇ Ɉɿɒmƨ ɘd Ɉʜϱim Ɉi ,mɒɿϱoɿq ƨnoqɒɘw ɘɈillɘɈɒƨ-iɈnɒ ɘviƨnɘɈxɘ ƨ’ɒniʜƆ nɘviϱ ,ɈɒʜɈ biɒƨ mɘʜɈ ʇo ɘnO .ɘldiƨυɒlq γɿɘv ƨi noiɈɒnɒlqxɘ ɘʜɈ ɘm bloɈ ,ɘυɿɈ ƨi ƨiʜɈ ɿɘʜɈɘʜw ɘϱbɘlwonʞ Ɉɔɘɿib on ɘvɒʜ γɘʜɈ ϱniγɒƨ ɘliʜw ,ƨlɒiɔiʇʇo ɘɔnɘϱillɘɈni .Ƨ.U ɿoinɘƨ ɿɘmɿoʇ owT .ƨɘɈillɘɈɒƨ ϱniɈidɿo-ɘɔɒqƨ ɿiɘʜɈ ɘldɒƨib ɘƨiwɿɘʜɈo ɿo ,bnild ,nwob Ɉooʜƨ blυow .Ƨ.U ɘʜɈ Ɉɔɘqƨυƨ γɘʜɈ ʜɔiʜw ϱniɿυb ,ɿɒw ʇo ɘƨɒɔ ni ɘɔnɘϱillɘɈni ʇo ɘɔɿυoƨ qυ-ʞɔɒd ɒ ƨɒ ϱnioϱ mɒɿϱoɿq noollɒd-γqƨ ɿiɘʜɈ Ɉqɘʞ ɘvɒʜ ɘƨɘniʜƆ ɘʜɈ ɘvɘilɘd ƨlɒiɔiʇʇo .Ƨ.U ɈɒʜɈ ɘɈoɿw oƨlɒ ɿɘmmɘɿઘ ,ɿɘvɘwoH

.noiƨυɿɈni ɘʜɈ ɿoʇ ɘldiƨnoqƨɘɿ ƨɒw ƨɔiɈiloq ɔiɈɒɿɔυɒɘɿυd ɈɒʜɈ ɒɘbi ɘʜɈ ƨɿɘɈƨlod ƨiʜT .ɒɔiɿɘmA ʜɈɿoИ ʇo nɒqƨ ɘɿiɈnɘ ɘʜɈ ƨƨoɿɔɒ ƨnoollɒd γqƨ ϱnibnɘƨ ƨɒw ɒniʜƆ ɈɒʜɈ ,ʞɘɘw Ɉƨɒl liɈnυ ,wonʞ nɘvɘ Ɉ’nbib ϱniqniႱ iX ɈnɘbiƨɘɿԳ ɈɒʜɈ ɘɈɒɔibni ƨnoiɈɒɔinυmmoɔ ɘƨɘniʜƆ ʇo ƨɈqɘɔɿɘɈni .Ƨ.U ɈɒʜɈ γɒbnoM no ƨɈnɘilɔ ɿoʇ ɿɘɈɈɘlƨwɘn ƨiʜ ni ɘɈoɿw ,qυoɿӘ ɒiƨɒɿυƎ ɘʜɈ ʇo Ɉnɘbiƨɘɿq ,ɿɘmmɘɿઘ nɒI

.ooɈ bnυoɿɒ ʇʇυɈƨ blo ɘʜɈ qɘɘʞ γɘʜɈ—noiɈɒɔiʇiɔlɒɔ ɔiɈɒɿɔυɒɘɿυd oɈ ɘυb ƨqɒʜɿɘq ,ɘƨoqɿυq ɔiϱɘɈɒɿɈƨ ɘmoƨ ɿoʇ ƨqɒʜɿɘq—Ɉυd ,ƨɘɈillɘɈɒƨ γqƨ bnɒ ƨɘnɒlq γqƨ oɈ ƨnoollɒd moɿʇ bɘɔnɒvbɒ oƨlɒ ɘvɒʜ ,ƨɘbɒɔɘb ɘʜɈ ɿɘvo ,ɘƨɘniʜƆ ɘʜT )⸮Ɉɘɘlʇ noollɒd ɘʜɈ ʇo ɿɘbnɒmmoɔ ɘd oɈ Ɉnɒw blυow lɒɿimbɒ ɿo lɒɿɘnɘϱ nɒɔiɿɘmA nɿɘbom ɈɒʜW( ”.ʞɔɒd bɘʞool ɿɘvɘn ɘw ,ɘɔɒqƨ oɈni Ɉnɘw ɘw ɘɔnO“ .ɘm bloɈ ɘviɈυɔɘxɘ ɘɔɒqƨoɿɘɒ ɘʜɈ ”,γϱolonʜɔɘɈ bɘɔnɒvbɒ no nɘɘʞ ƨi γɿɒɈilim ɿυO“

.ƨnoollɒd bɘnobnɒdɒ ɘw ,ƨɘɈillɘɈɒƨ γqƨ nɘʜɈ bnɒ ,ƨɘnɒlq γqƨ bɘγolqɘb bnɒ Ɉliυd ɘw ɘɔno Ɉυઘ .ƨɘiɈilidɒqɒɔ ɿiɘʜɈ ɘϱυɒϱ oɈ ɿɘbɿo ni ,ƨɿɒbɒɿ ɿiɘʜɈ no ϱninɿυɈ oɈni ƨwɘɿɔ ɘƨnɘʇɘb-ɿiɒ ɿiɘʜɈ ʞɔiɿɈ oɈ ɿo ƨmɒɿϱoɿq γɿɒɈilim ’ƨɘiɿɈnυoɔ ɘƨoʜɈ Ɉυodɒ noiɈɒmɿoʇni nɒɘlϱ oɈ ɒniʜƆ bnɒ noinU ɈɘivoƧ ɘʜɈ ɿɘvo ƨnoollɒd γqƨ bnɘƨ bib ƨɘɈɒɈƧ bɘɈinU ɘʜɈ ,ƨ0ट’ bnɒ ƨ0μ୧Ɩ ɘʜɈ ni ʞɔɒઘ .ɘldiƨυɒlqmi γlʜϱiʜ ƨi ,ɿɘvɘwoʜ ,ɘmɒƨ ɘʜɈ ob ɘw ɈɒʜɈ miɒlɔ ɿiɘʜT

.Ɉɘϱ γldɒdoɿq lliw ɘw ƨɒ ƨnoollɒd γqƨ ʜɈiw ƨɿɘbɿod nɒɔiɿɘmA bɘƨƨoɿɔ ƨɒʜ ɒniʜƆ ɈɒʜɈ noiƨƨimbɒ nɒ oɈ ɘƨolɔ ƨɒ—ɒniʜƆ ɿɘvo Ɉnɘƨ ƨɒʜ .Ƨ.U ɘʜɈ nɒʜɈ .Ƨ.U ɘʜɈ ɿɘvo ƨnoollɒd γqƨ ɿɘwɘʇ ɿɒʇ Ɉnɘƨ ƨɒʜ ɒniʜƆ γɒƨ γɘʜɈ woИ .γɒɿɈƨɒ ɘnoϱ noollɒd ɿɘʜɈɒɘw ɒ ƨɒw Ɉi biɒƨ γɘʜɈ nɘʜT .ƨ’ɒniʜƆ ƨɒw Ɉi bɘinɘb γɘʜɈ ,Ɉƨɿiᆿ .γɿoɈƨ ɿɘvoɔ ɿiɘʜɈ bɘϱnɒʜɔ ɘvɒʜ ϱniįiɘઘ ni nɘmƨɘʞoqƨ Ɉnɘmnɿɘvoϱ ,nwob Ɉoʜƨ noollɒd Ɉƨɿiʇ ɘʜɈ Ɉυodɒ bɘlɒɘvɘɿ bnɒ bɘnɿɒɘl nɘɘd ƨɒʜ ɘɿom ƨɒ ,ɈɒʜɈ ϱnillɘɈ ƨi Ɉi ,lliɈƧ

.γlbɒoɿd ooɈ Ɉid ɒ ƨɿɘɈliʇ ƨɈi Ɉɘƨ-ɘɿ ɘvɒʜ Ɉʜϱim ႧAЯOИ .ʞnυį ɘɔɒqƨ nɘɘd Ɉƨυį ɘvɒʜ Ɉʜϱim γɘʜɈ ;llɒ Ɉɒ ƨnoollɒd γqƨ Ɉ’nɘɿɘw γɘʜɈ ɈɒʜɈ ɘɈɒɔibni Ɉʜϱim ƨnwobɈooʜƨ Ɉnɘɔɘɿ Ɉƨom ɘɘɿʜɈ ɘʜɈ ʇo ƨʞɘɘw ϱnimoɔ ɘʜɈ ni ƨiƨγlɒnɒ nɒ ,ɘmiɈ ɘmɒƨ ɘʜɈ ɈA .ɿɘʜɈonɒ ɿo Ɉɿoƨ ɘno ʇo Ɉʇɒɿɔ γqƨ ɘɿɘw mɘʜɈ ʇo llɒ Ɉon ʇi Ɉƨom ɈɒʜɈ ɘbυlɔnoɔ γldɒdoɿq lliw ,bɘniɒlqxɘnυ ɘnoϱ Ɉυd ,bɘɈɈoqƨ nɘɘd ɘvɒʜ ɈɒʜɈ ƨɿɒɘγ Ɉnɘɔɘɿ ni ƨOᆿU γnɒm ɘʜɈ ʇo ƨiƨγlɒnɒ ɘviɈɔɒoɿɈɘɿ A

.nɘbiઘ ɈnɘbiƨɘɿԳ ,ʇɘiʜɔ-ni-ɿɘbnɒmmoɔ ɘʜɈ bɘɈɿɘlɒ ɘvɒʜ nɿυɈ ni oʜw ,ƨɿɘbnɒmmoɔ ɿiɘʜɈ ϱniɈɿɘlɒ bnɒ ƨmɘɈi ɿɒlimiƨ ϱniɘɘƨ bɘɈɿɒɈƨ ɘvɒʜ ƨɿoƨnɘƨ ,Ɉlυƨɘɿ ɒ ƨA .ɘbυɈiɈlɒ bnɒ ,ɘqɒʜƨ ,bɘɘqƨ ɿiɘʜɈ γlniɒm—ƨnoollɒd γqƨ ʇo ƨnϱiƨ ɘlɒɈllɘɈ ɘʜɈ ɘbυlɔni oɈ ƨɿɘɈliʇ ƨɈi Ɉɘƨ-ɘɿ ႧAЯOИ ,)bɘmiɒlɔ γllɒiɈini nɘmƨɘʞoqƨ ɘƨɘniʜƆ ƨɒ ,noollɒd ɿɘʜɈɒɘw ɒ Ɉon( noollɒd γqƨ ɒ ƨɒw Ɉi ɈɒʜɈ ɘɔnɘbivɘ ɿɒɘlɔ γd bɘwolloʇ ƨɒw ʜɔiʜw ,Ɉƨɘw ƨɈnioq bnɒ ,ɒnɒɈnoM ,ɒʞƨɒlA ɿɘvo Ɉɔɘįdo ɘʜɈ ʇo ʞɘɘw Ɉƨɒl ϱniɈʜϱiƨ ɘʜɈ ɿɘɈʇA

).ƨɘɈυnim niʜɈiw—γɿɒƨƨɘɔɘn ʇi ,noiɈɔɒ ɿɘilbɒɘb nɘʞɒɈ ɿo ,blɘiʇɿiɒ nɒ oɈ nwob ɿo ɘɔɒqƨɿiɒ ɿυo ʇo Ɉυo Ɉi ϱniɈɿoɔƨɘ—Ɉi bɘɈnoɿʇnoɔ ɘvɒʜ blυow ƨɿɘɈʜϱiʇ Ɉɘį .Ƨ.U ,ƨɿɘbɿod nɒɔiɿɘmA ƨƨoɿɔɒ nwolʇ bɒʜ ɘnɒlqɿiɒ ɘƨɘniʜƆ ɒ ʇI( .ɿoʇ ʞool oɈ bɘmmɒɿϱoɿq ɘɿɒ ƨɿoƨnɘƨ ϱninɿɒw-γlɿɒɘ ɿυo ƨɈɒɘɿʜɈ ʇo ƨbniʞ ɘʜɈ ɘɿɒ ɘƨoʜɈ oƨ ,Ɉʇɒɿɔɿiɒ bnɒ ƨɘliƨƨim ʜɈiw γlniɒm ƨɘiɿɒƨɿɘvbɒ nϱiɘɿoʇ ƨnɘɈɒɘɿʜɈ γɿɒɈilim .Ƨ.U ɘʜT .ɘm bloɈ ɘviɈυɔɘxɘ ɘɔɒqƨoɿɘɒ bnɒ lɒiɔiʇʇo noϱɒɈnɘԳ ɿɘmɿoʇ ɒ ”,γϱolonʜɔɘɈ nwo ɿυo γd bɘbnild ɘɿɒ ɘw oƨ ,ƨɈɒɘɿʜɈ Ɉɒ ʞool ɘw nɘʜw ɘϱɒmi-ɿoɿɿim oɈ bnɘɈ ɘW“

.mʜɈiɿoϱlɒ ɘʜɈ Ɉiʇ Ɉ’nob bnυoƨ ʇo bɘɘqƨ ɘʜɈ ʇo noiɈɔɒɿʇ llɒmƨ ɒ Ɉɒ ϱnolɒ ϱniɈɒolʇ ƨnoollɒઘ .ƨbɘɘqƨ bnɒ ƨɘbυɈiɈlɒ niɒɈɿɘɔ Ɉɒ ƨɘqɒʜƨ niɒɈɿɘɔ ʇo ƨɈɔɘįdo ɿoʇ Ɉυo ʞool oɈ ɿɒbɒɿ ϱninnɒɔƨ ɿiɘʜɈ no ”ƨɿɘɈliʇ“ Ɉɘƨ γɘʜɈ ,oƧ .ƨɿɘϱnɒb ɘldiƨυɒlq γlυɿɈ ɘʜɈ ʇʇo ƨɘγɘ ɿiɘʜɈ ϱniʞɒɈ ʇo Ɉnioq ɘʜɈ oɈ ƨqɒʜɿɘq ,bɘmlɘʜwɿɘvo ɘd blυow ƨɿɘɔiʇʇo ƨɈi ,mɘʜɈ ʇo llɒ bɘʞɔɒɿɈ )ႧAЯOИ( bnɒmmoƆ ɘƨnɘʇɘႧ nɒɔiɿɘmA ʜɈɿoИ ɘʜɈ ʇi bnɒ—ƨiɿdɘb ƨυoiɿɒv ,ƨɘɈillɘɈɒƨ ɘɈɒviɿq ,ƨɿoɘɈɘm—ƨɘiʞƨ nɒɔiɿɘmA ɘvodɒ ɘɔɒqƨ ɿɘɈυo ʇo ƨnoiϱɘɿ ɿɘwol ɘʜɈ ʜϱυoɿʜɈ ϱniƨƨɒq ɘɿɒ ƨɈɔɘįdo ʇo ƨbnɒƨυoʜT .ɘɔnɘɈɘqmoɔni ʇo nϱiƨ ɒ γliɿɒƨƨɘɔɘn Ɉon ƨi Ɉɔɒʇ ƨiʜɈ bnɒ—ɘυɿɈ Ɉ’nƨi ƨiʜɈ Ɉυd ,ɘɔɒqƨɿiɒ ɿυo ʜϱυoɿʜɈ ϱniγlʇ ϱniʜɈγɿɘvɘ qυ ƨʞɔiq ɿɒɘϱ ɘɔnɘϱillɘɈni-γɿɒɈilim .Ƨ.U ɈɒʜɈ ɘmυƨƨɒ ɘlqoɘq γnɒM

.mɘʜɈ ɿoʇ ϱniʞool Ɉ’nɘɿɘw ƨɿoɈɒɿɘqo ɿɒbɒɿ ɘʜɈ ,ʜɈnom ƨiʜɈ liɈnυ ,ɈɒʜɈ ƨi ,mɘʜɈ ʇo Ɉol ɒ ϱniɘɘƨ won ɘɿɒ bnɒ ,ɘɿoʇɘd ƨnoollɒd ɘʞil ϱniʜɈγnɒ ɿo ƨnoollɒd ϱniɘɘƨ Ɉ’nɘɿɘw ƨɿɒbɒɿ .Ƨ.U noƨɒɘɿ ɘʜT .ɘliʜw ɒ ɘɈiυp ɿoʇ ƨiʜɈ ϱniob nɘɘd γldɒdoɿq ɘvɒʜ ɘƨɘniʜƆ ɘʜɈ ,Ɉƨɿiᆿ

.γlɘʞil γɿɘv ,Ɉƨɒɘl Ɉɒ ɿo ɿɒɘlɔ mɘɘƨ ƨϱniʜɈ wɘʇ ɒ Ɉυd ,)ƨɈɔɘįdo nwob-Ɉoʜƨ ɿυoʇ ɘƨoʜɈ ʇo ɘɘɿʜɈ Ɉƨɒl ɘʜɈ ʇo ɘɔɿυoƨ bnɒ ɘɿυɈɒn ɘʜɈ Ɉƨɒɘl Ɉon( niɒmɘɿ ƨɘiɿɘɈƨγm γnɒM

.ʞɘɘw ɒ nɒʜɈ ɘɿom ɘlɈɈil ɒ ni ,ϱniɈiɿw ƨiʜɈ ʇo ƨɒ ,ƨϱniʜɈ ʜɔυƨ ɿυoʇ—noollɒd γqƨ ɘƨɘniʜƆ ɿɘʜɈonɒ ɘd Ɉʜϱim Ɉi ɘʞil γlɘυϱɒv nɘvɘ ƨʞool bnɒ ɘbυɈiɈlɒ ɘmɒƨ ɘʜɈ γlʜϱυoɿ Ɉɒ ϱniγlʇ ƨ’ɈɒʜɈ ϱniʜɈγɿɘvɘ nwob ϱniɈooʜƨ ɘɿ’ɘw ,ɘɿɘʜqƨomɈɒ ɘʜɈ ʇo ɘϱbɘ ɿɘɈυo ɘʜɈ ϱnolɒ γɿoɈiɿɿɘɈ .Ƨ.U ɿɘvo ƨnoollɒd γqƨ ϱnibnɘƨ nɘɘd ƨɒʜ ɒniʜƆ ɈɒʜɈ no Ɉʜϱυɒɔ ɘv’ɘw ɈɒʜɈ woИ

Иош тħат шэ’ѵэ сацgħт оп тħат Сħіпа ħаѕ бээп ѕэпԁіпg ѕру баӏӏоопѕ оѵэг Ц.S. тэггітогу аӏопg тħэ оцтэг эԁgэ оf тħэ атмоѕрħэгэ, шэ’гэ ѕħоотіпg ԁошп эѵэгутħіпg тħат’ѕ fӏуіпg ат гоцgħӏу тħэ ѕамэ аӏтітцԁэ апԁ ӏоокѕ эѵэп ѵаgцэӏу ӏікэ іт міgħт бэ апотħэг Сħіпэѕэ ѕру баӏӏооп—fоцг ѕцсħ тħіпgѕ, аѕ оf тħіѕ шгітіпg, іп а ӏіттӏэ могэ тħап а шээк.

Мапу муѕтэгіэѕ гэмаіп (пот ӏэаѕт тħэ патцгэ апԁ ѕоцгсэ оf тħэ ӏаѕт тħгээ оf тħоѕэ fоцг ѕħот-ԁошп објэстѕ), бцт а fэш тħіпgѕ ѕээм сӏэаг ог ат ӏэаѕт, ѵэгу ӏікэӏу.

Fігѕт, тħэ Сħіпэѕэ ħаѵэ ргобабӏу бээп ԁоіпg тħіѕ fог qцітэ а шħіӏэ. Тħэ гэаѕоп Ц.S. гаԁагѕ шэгэп’т ѕээіпg баӏӏоопѕ ог апутħіпg ӏікэ баӏӏоопѕ бэfогэ, апԁ агэ пош ѕээіпg а ӏот оf тħэм, іѕ тħат, цптіӏ тħіѕ моптħ, тħэ гаԁаг орэгатогѕ шэгэп’т ӏоокіпg fог тħэм.

Мапу рэорӏэ аѕѕцмэ тħат Ц.S. міӏітагу-іптэӏӏіgэпсэ gэаг ріскѕ цр эѵэгутħіпg fӏуіпg тħгоцgħ оцг аігѕрасэ, бцт тħіѕ іѕп’т тгцэ—апԁ тħіѕ fаст іѕ пот пэсэѕѕагіӏу а ѕіgп оf іпсомрэтэпсэ. Тħоцѕапԁѕ оf објэстѕ агэ раѕѕіпg тħгоцgħ тħэ ӏошэг гэgіопѕ оf оцтэг ѕрасэ абоѵэ Дмэгісап ѕкіэѕ—мэтэогѕ, ргіѵатэ ѕатэӏӏітэѕ, ѵагіоцѕ ԁэбгіѕ—апԁ іf тħэ Иогтħ Дмэгісап Dэfэпѕэ Соммапԁ (ИОЯДD) тгаскэԁ аӏӏ оf тħэм, ітѕ оffісэгѕ шоцӏԁ бэ оѵэгшħэӏмэԁ, рэгħарѕ то тħэ роіпт оf такіпg тħэіг эуэѕ оff тħэ тгцӏу рӏацѕібӏэ ԁапgэгѕ. Sо, тħэу ѕэт “fіӏтэгѕ” оп тħэіг ѕсаппіпg гаԁаг то ӏоок оцт fог објэстѕ оf сэгтаіп ѕħарэѕ ат сэгтаіп аӏтітцԁэѕ апԁ ѕрээԁѕ. Баӏӏоопѕ fӏоатіпg аӏопg ат а ѕмаӏӏ fгастіоп оf тħэ ѕрээԁ оf ѕоцпԁ ԁоп’т fіт тħэ аӏgогітħм.

“Шэ тэпԁ то міггог-імаgэ шħэп шэ ӏоок ат тħгэатѕ, ѕо шэ агэ бӏіпԁэԁ бу оцг ошп тэсħпоӏоgу,” а fогмэг Рэптаgоп оffісіаӏ апԁ аэгоѕрасэ эхэсцтіѵэ тоӏԁ мэ. Тħэ Ц.S. міӏітагу тħгэатэпѕ fогэіgп аԁѵэгѕагіэѕ маіпӏу шітħ міѕѕіӏэѕ апԁ аігсгаfт, ѕо тħоѕэ агэ тħэ кіпԁѕ оf тħгэатѕ оцг эагӏу-шагпіпg ѕэпѕогѕ агэ ргоgгаммэԁ то ӏоок fог. (Іf а Сħіпэѕэ аігрӏапэ ħаԁ fӏошп асгоѕѕ Дмэгісап богԁэгѕ, Ц.S. јэт fіgħтэгѕ шоцӏԁ ħаѵэ сопfгоптэԁ іт—эѕсогтіпg іт оцт оf оцг аігѕрасэ ог ԁошп то ап аігfіэӏԁ, ог такэп ԁэаԁӏіэг астіоп, іf пэсэѕѕагу—шітħіп міпцтэѕ.)

Дfтэг тħэ ѕіgħтіпg ӏаѕт шээк оf тħэ објэст оѵэг Дӏаѕка, Моптапа, апԁ роіптѕ шэѕт, шħісħ шаѕ fоӏӏошэԁ бу сӏэаг эѵіԁэпсэ тħат іт шаѕ а ѕру баӏӏооп (пот а шэатħэг баӏӏооп, аѕ Сħіпэѕэ ѕрокэѕмэп іпітіаӏӏу сӏаімэԁ), ИОЯДD гэ-ѕэт ітѕ fіӏтэгѕ то іпсӏцԁэ тħэ тэӏӏтаӏэ ѕіgпѕ оf ѕру баӏӏоопѕ—маіпӏу тħэіг ѕрээԁ, ѕħарэ, апԁ аӏтітцԁэ. Дѕ а гэѕцӏт, ѕэпѕогѕ ħаѵэ ѕтагтэԁ ѕээіпg ѕіміӏаг ітэмѕ апԁ аӏэгтіпg тħэіг соммапԁэгѕ, шħо іп тцгп ħаѵэ аӏэгтэԁ тħэ соммапԁэг-іп-сħіэf, Ргэѕіԁэпт Біԁэп.

Д гэтгоастіѵэ апаӏуѕіѕ оf тħэ мапу ЦFОѕ іп гэсэпт уэагѕ тħат ħаѵэ бээп ѕроттэԁ, бцт gопэ цпэхрӏаіпэԁ, шіӏӏ ргобабӏу сопсӏцԁэ тħат моѕт іf пот аӏӏ оf тħэм шэгэ ѕру сгаfт оf опэ ѕогт ог апотħэг. Дт тħэ ѕамэ тімэ, ап апаӏуѕіѕ іп тħэ соміпg шээкѕ оf тħэ тħгээ моѕт гэсэпт ѕħоотԁошпѕ міgħт іпԁісатэ тħат тħэу шэгэп’т ѕру баӏӏоопѕ ат аӏӏ; тħэу міgħт ħаѵэ јцѕт бээп ѕрасэ јцпк. ИОЯДD міgħт ħаѵэ гэ-ѕэт ітѕ fіӏтэгѕ а біт тоо бгоаԁӏу.

Sтіӏӏ, іт іѕ тэӏӏіпg тħат, аѕ могэ ħаѕ бээп ӏэагпэԁ апԁ гэѵэаӏэԁ абоцт тħэ fігѕт баӏӏооп ѕħот ԁошп, gоѵэгпмэпт ѕрокэѕмэп іп Бэіјіпg ħаѵэ сħапgэԁ тħэіг соѵэг ѕтогу. Fігѕт, тħэу ԁэпіэԁ іт шаѕ Сħіпа’ѕ. Тħэп тħэу ѕаіԁ іт шаѕ а шэатħэг баӏӏооп gопэ аѕтгау. Иош тħэу ѕау Сħіпа ħаѕ ѕэпт fаг fэшэг ѕру баӏӏоопѕ оѵэг тħэ Ц.S. тħап тħэ Ц.S. ħаѕ ѕэпт оѵэг Сħіпа—аѕ сӏоѕэ то ап аԁміѕѕіоп тħат Сħіпа ħаѕ сгоѕѕэԁ Дмэгісап богԁэгѕ шітħ ѕру баӏӏоопѕ аѕ шэ шіӏӏ ргобабӏу gэт.

Тħэіг сӏаім тħат шэ ԁо тħэ ѕамэ, ħошэѵэг, іѕ ħіgħӏу імрӏацѕібӏэ. Баск іп тħэ 1940ѕ апԁ ’50ѕ, тħэ Цпітэԁ Sтатэѕ ԁіԁ ѕэпԁ ѕру баӏӏоопѕ оѵэг тħэ Sоѵіэт Цпіоп апԁ Сħіпа то gӏэап іпfогматіоп абоцт тħоѕэ соцптгіэѕ’ міӏітагу ргоgгамѕ ог то тгіск тħэіг аіг-ԁэfэпѕэ сгэшѕ іпто тцгпіпg оп тħэіг гаԁагѕ, іп огԁэг то gацgэ тħэіг сарабіӏітіэѕ. Бцт опсэ шэ бціӏт апԁ ԁэрӏоуэԁ ѕру рӏапэѕ, апԁ тħэп ѕру ѕатэӏӏітэѕ, шэ абапԁопэԁ баӏӏоопѕ.

“Оцг міӏітагу іѕ кээп оп аԁѵапсэԁ тэсħпоӏоgу,” тħэ аэгоѕрасэ эхэсцтіѵэ тоӏԁ мэ. “Опсэ шэ шэпт іпто ѕрасэ, шэ пэѵэг ӏоокэԁ баск.” (Шħат моԁэгп Дмэгісап gэпэгаӏ ог аԁмігаӏ шоцӏԁ шапт то бэ соммапԁэг оf тħэ баӏӏооп fӏээт?) Тħэ Сħіпэѕэ, оѵэг тħэ ԁэсаԁэѕ, ħаѵэ аӏѕо аԁѵапсэԁ fгом баӏӏоопѕ то ѕру рӏапэѕ апԁ ѕру ѕатэӏӏітэѕ, бцт—рэгħарѕ fог ѕомэ ѕтгатэgіс рцгроѕэ, рэгħарѕ ԁцэ то бцгэацсгатіс саӏсіfісатіоп—тħэу кээр тħэ оӏԁ ѕтцff агоцпԁ тоо.

Іап Бгэммэг, ргэѕіԁэпт оf тħэ Зцгаѕіа Gгоцр, шготэ іп ħіѕ пэшѕӏэттэг fог сӏіэптѕ оп Мопԁау тħат Ц.S. іптэгсэртѕ оf Сħіпэѕэ соммцпісатіопѕ іпԁісатэ тħат Ргэѕіԁэпт Хі Јіпріпg ԁіԁп’т эѵэп кпош, цптіӏ ӏаѕт шээк, тħат Сħіпа шаѕ ѕэпԁіпg ѕру баӏӏоопѕ асгоѕѕ тħэ эптігэ ѕрап оf Иогтħ Дмэгіса. Тħіѕ боӏѕтэгѕ тħэ іԁэа тħат бцгэацсгатіс роӏітісѕ шаѕ гэѕропѕібӏэ fог тħэ іптгцѕіоп.

Ношэѵэг, Бгэммэг аӏѕо шготэ тħат Ц.S. оffісіаӏѕ бэӏіэѵэ тħэ Сħіпэѕэ ħаѵэ кэрт тħэіг ѕру-баӏӏооп ргоgгам gоіпg аѕ а баск-цр ѕоцгсэ оf іптэӏӏіgэпсэ іп саѕэ оf шаг, ԁцгіпg шħісħ тħэу ѕцѕрэст тħэ Ц.S. шоцӏԁ ѕħоот ԁошп, бӏіпԁ, ог отħэгшіѕэ ԁіѕабӏэ тħэіг ѕрасэ-огбітіпg ѕатэӏӏітэѕ. Тшо fогмэг ѕэпіог Ц.S. іптэӏӏіgэпсэ оffісіаӏѕ, шħіӏэ ѕауіпg тħэу ħаѵэ по ԁігэст кпошӏэԁgэ шħэтħэг тħіѕ іѕ тгцэ, тоӏԁ мэ тħэ эхрӏапатіоп іѕ ѵэгу рӏацѕібӏэ. Опэ оf тħэм ѕаіԁ тħат, gіѵэп Сħіпа’ѕ эхтэпѕіѵэ апті-ѕатэӏӏітэ шэаропѕ ргоgгам, іт міgħт бэ ѕмагт fог тħэ Ц.S. то бціӏԁ ѕомэ баӏӏооп баск-црѕ аѕ шэӏӏ.

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comedyblissoption
Mar 15, 2006

https://twitter.com/BreakingNews/status/1625532492085186561

uber_stoat
Jan 21, 2001



Pillbug

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Whoa, no poo poo?

Wraith of J.O.I.
Jan 25, 2012


chinese genocide namedrop in nikki's announcement ad

https://twitter.com/NikkiHaley/status/1625461899218280448

mawarannahr
May 21, 2019

COBRA Gold is back losers
US to send most troops in a decade to join Cobra Gold 2023

www.rfa.org posted:

The U.S. will deploy over 6,000 personnel in the Cobra Gold Exercise 2023 in Thailand, the largest number in a decade, as the two long-standing allies celebrate the 190th anniversary of diplomatic ties, U.S. and Thai officials said Tuesday.

The 42nd iteration of the Indo-Pacific region’s largest combined military exercise will include China as a partner in a humanitarian assistance mission, even though the Sino-U.S. relationship is shaky in the wake of the U.S. downing of an alleged Chinese spy balloon that intruded into its airspace. Myanmar was not invited to join as an observer.

The drills are set to take place between Feb. 28 and Mar. 10, in the Thai provinces of Lopburi, Chanthaburi, Sa Kaeo and Rayong.

The exercises were scaled down over the previous three years due to the COVID-19 pandemic. The U.S. sent fewer than 3,500 troops last year.

“We've certainly returned to a 'Cobra Gold of Old' in terms of scale,” said Col. Kurt Leffler, the Senior Defense Official and Defense Attaché to the Kingdom of Thailand, and the Chief of the Joint U.S. Military Advisory Group (JUSMAG).

“In terms of scope, however – the quantity and complexity of exercise events – this Cobra Gold will surpass what has come before,” Leffler told a news conference at the headquarters of the Thai Armed Forces, adding that this year’s exercise prioritizes cyber and space training.

“We have brought cooperation in the cyber and space domains into the exercise, and are experimenting with new operating concepts to prepare for whatever novel threats the future holds,” he said.

‘Limited seats’

Co-organizer Thailand said 7,394 troops from 30 countries will participate as exercise partners or observers excluding Myanmar.

“We have not invited Myanmar to participate in this exercise because we have a limited number of seats,” Gen. Thitichai Tiantong, Thailand’s Armed Forces chief of staff, told the news conference, saying the country had been invited in the past.

The major partners will be Thailand, the U.S., Singapore, Japan, Indonesia, South Korea and Malaysia. China, India and Australia will join in the humanitarian aid mission.

Exercises range from field training with live fire to humanitarian civic assistance.

The new U.S. ambassador to Bangkok, Robert Godec said the security partnership and Cobra Gold are very important because the Indo-Pacific region accounts for almost two-thirds of the world economy and economic growth over the past five years.

“At least a third of global maritime trade goes through the Indo-Pacific region. Our shared security partnership ensures that the goods exported by Thai and American business owners can continue to flow freely, enhancing our shared prosperity,” he said.

BenarNews is an RFA-affiliated news organization.

yellowcar
Feb 14, 2010

cobra gold sounds like an off-brand energy drink

Spergin Morlock
Aug 8, 2009

yellowcar posted:

cobra gold sounds like an off-brand energy drink

cobra gold is the name of the radar on top of trump tower

stephenthinkpad
Jan 2, 2020
Cobra Gold (new subscribers)
$20 (50% off)
Cobra Gold is a live TV streaming service featuring live and on-demand TV channels like ESPN, CNN, Fox, NBC, Comedy Central, Cartoon Network, and more.

Ardennes
May 12, 2002
I thought it was a condom brand but then I remembered they were unfortunately talking about the US military.

uber_stoat
Jan 21, 2001



Pillbug

stephenthinkpad posted:

Cobra Gold (new subscribers)
$20 (50% off)
Cobra Gold is a live TV streaming service featuring live and on-demand TV channels like ESPN, CNN, Fox, NBC, Comedy Central, Cartoon Network, and more.

when you get caught cheating during the war game.

RandolphCarter
Jul 30, 2005


cobra gold is 100% a gas station dick pill

yellowcar
Feb 14, 2010

my god, it is an energy drink



e: https://www.facebook.com/CobraGoldDrink/ lmao

mawarannahr
May 21, 2019

yellowcar posted:

my god, it is an energy drink



e: https://www.facebook.com/CobraGoldDrink/ lmao

lmao

lmao

mawarannahr
May 21, 2019

the lols keep rolling on this fine & horny day
The Thrill Is Gone For Valentine's Day In Taliban-Controlled Kabul

www.rferl.org posted:

St. Valentine had a difficult time finding love in Afghanistan, but his namesake holiday quickly rose in popularity after the fall of the Taliban regime in 2001.

Kabul's iconic Flower Street soon blossomed with red roses and sweetheart kitsch every February 14 as romance-minded Afghans abandoned tradition and put their affections on public display.

But with the Taliban's return to power, the thrill for Valentine's Day in the Afghan capital has gone.

Restaurants and flower shops used to go big for the holiday, attracting sweethearts with romantic dinners and amorous displays.

While red roses and balloons are still on offer, Valentine's Day is now much like any other day on Flower Street. That is, aside from posters from the Ministry for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice advising passersby to "avoid celebrating lovers' day!"

A poster by the Ministry for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice on the window of a shop says, "Avoid celebrating lovers' day!"

Saleh, who gave only his first name to RFE/RL's Radio Azadi, says that he and his fellow florists did not do anything special.

"We don't make luxurious preparations like before," he said. "We have prepared fresh flowers and arranged some gift boxes. Only a few people who have fiancés want to buy a ring, a flower, a mobile phone, or other gifts they like."

When Yassin first courted his wife six years ago, they considered Valentine's Day among their most memorable opportunities to celebrate their affection for each other. But now, two years into their marriage and nearly 17 months after the Taliban seized power, they mark the day in secret.

"This year there is no excitement and enthusiasm," he told Radio Azadi, giving only his first name. "Unfortunately, young men only go to shops very secretly to buy gifts for someone they like."

Even before the Taliban takeover in August 2021, Valentine's Day was not widely celebrated around the country, and was mainly marked only in Kabul and other urban areas.

In Herat, a conservative city, religious authorities wary of public displays of affection and the celebration of a day honoring a Christian saint banned the holiday in 2019, declaring it "un-Islamic."

"We do not have Valentine's Day in Islam," Abdul Aleem Modrek, head of Fakhr al-Madares, one of around 600 religious schools, or madrasahs, in Herat Province, told RFE/RL at the time. "This is a foreign culture that has come to change the minds of people and, God forbid, to deviate them from the right path."

That thinking was reinforced as the new Taliban government imposed its hard-line interpretation of Islam around the country.

While there were reports that even Taliban fighters and officials in Kabul were spurred to buy flowers for loved ones on February 14 last year, Taliban spokesman Zabihullah Mujahid told Radio Azadi at the time that Valentine's Day had no place in Afghan culture and society.

Jamil says he and his wife, Marzia, celebrated Valentine's Day both in Kabul and Herat before they wed two years ago. As a married couple, however, they would not dare under Taliban rule.

"Last year it was very dire and awkward," Jamil said, providing only his and his wife's first names. "We were alone at home and maybe we shared a smile."

Spergin Morlock
Aug 8, 2009

yellowcar posted:

my god, it is an energy drink



e: https://www.facebook.com/CobraGoldDrink/ lmao

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IId64OJdCKM

stephenthinkpad
Jan 2, 2020

Laugh out loud! I was going ask did Steven Seagel lent his face out for a deep fake commercial no he actual got off his rear end to make a commercial. Lighting bolt!

Also, comments are turn off baby.

Weka
May 5, 2019

That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.

KomradeX posted:

Doesn't Taiwan claim space over the mainland as theirs?

An ADIZ isn't a territorial claim, it's just an area a country monitors. Taiwan doesn't report flights through the part of the ADIZ that is over the mainland.

ModernMajorGeneral
Jun 25, 2010

By sending the first spy balloon china is actually responsible for every single aircraft shot down after and the international community must condemn this aggression. It's no different to how if you commit a crime and the cops accidentally shoot someone while stopping you, you created the situation and must answer for it

Regarde Aduck
Oct 19, 2012

c l o u d k i t t e n
Grimey Drawer

taliban ftw

Homeless Friend
Jul 16, 2007

https://youtu.be/ritZxM_uejA

Mantis42
Jul 26, 2010

It's benign! Don't let it get away! Break it's legs!

yellowcar
Feb 14, 2010

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0oh0kLG1xY

HiroProtagonist
May 7, 2007

Some Guy TT posted:

Now that we’ve caught on that China has been sending spy balloons over U.S. territory along the outer edge of the atmosphere, we’re shooting down everything that’s flying at roughly the same altitude and looks even vaguely like it might be another Chinese spy balloon—four such things, as of this writing, in a little more than a week.

Many mysteries remain (not least the nature and source of the last three of those four shot-down objects), but a few things seem clear or at least, very likely.

First, the Chinese have probably been doing this for quite a while. The reason U.S. radars weren’t seeing balloons or anything like balloons before, and are now seeing a lot of them, is that, until this month, the radar operators weren’t looking for them.

Many people assume that U.S. military-intelligence gear picks up everything flying through our airspace, but this isn’t true—and this fact is not necessarily a sign of incompetence. Thousands of objects are passing through the lower regions of outer space above American skies—meteors, private satellites, various debris—and if the North American Defense Command (NORAD) tracked all of them, its officers would be overwhelmed, perhaps to the point of taking their eyes off the truly plausible dangers. So, they set “filters” on their scanning radar to look out for objects of certain shapes at certain altitudes and speeds. Balloons floating along at a small fraction of the speed of sound don’t fit the algorithm.

“We tend to mirror-image when we look at threats, so we are blinded by our own technology,” a former Pentagon official and aerospace executive told me. The U.S. military threatens foreign adversaries mainly with missiles and aircraft, so those are the kinds of threats our early-warning sensors are programmed to look for. (If a Chinese airplane had flown across American borders, U.S. jet fighters would have confronted it—escorting it out of our airspace or down to an airfield, or taken deadlier action, if necessary—within minutes.)

After the sighting last week of the object over Alaska, Montana, and points west, which was followed by clear evidence that it was a spy balloon (not a weather balloon, as Chinese spokesmen initially claimed), NORAD re-set its filters to include the telltale signs of spy balloons—mainly their speed, shape, and altitude. As a result, sensors have started seeing similar items and alerting their commanders, who in turn have alerted the commander-in-chief, President Biden.

A retroactive analysis of the many UFOs in recent years that have been spotted, but gone unexplained, will probably conclude that most if not all of them were spy craft of one sort or another. At the same time, an analysis in the coming weeks of the three most recent shootdowns might indicate that they weren’t spy balloons at all; they might have just been space junk. NORAD might have re-set its filters a bit too broadly.

Still, it is telling that, as more has been learned and revealed about the first balloon shot down, government spokesmen in Beijing have changed their cover story. First, they denied it was China’s. Then they said it was a weather balloon gone astray. Now they say China has sent far fewer spy balloons over the U.S. than the U.S. has sent over China—as close to an admission that China has crossed American borders with spy balloons as we will probably get.

Their claim that we do the same, however, is highly implausible. Back in the 1940s and ’50s, the United States did send spy balloons over the Soviet Union and China to glean information about those countries’ military programs or to trick their air-defense crews into turning on their radars, in order to gauge their capabilities. But once we built and deployed spy planes, and then spy satellites, we abandoned balloons.

“Our military is keen on advanced technology,” the aerospace executive told me. “Once we went into space, we never looked back.” (What modern American general or admiral would want to be commander of the balloon fleet?) The Chinese, over the decades, have also advanced from balloons to spy planes and spy satellites, but—perhaps for some strategic purpose, perhaps due to bureaucratic calcification—they keep the old stuff around too.

Ian Bremmer, president of the Eurasia Group, wrote in his newsletter for clients on Monday that U.S. intercepts of Chinese communications indicate that President Xi Jinping didn’t even know, until last week, that China was sending spy balloons across the entire span of North America. This bolsters the idea that bureaucratic politics was responsible for the intrusion.

However, Bremmer also wrote that U.S. officials believe the Chinese have kept their spy-balloon program going as a back-up source of intelligence in case of war, during which they suspect the U.S. would shoot down, blind, or otherwise disable their space-orbiting satellites. Two former senior U.S. intelligence officials, while saying they have no direct knowledge whether this is true, told me the explanation is very plausible. One of them said that, given China’s extensive anti-satellite weapons program, it might be smart for the U.S. to build some balloon back-ups as well.

been saying this

crepeface
Nov 5, 2004

r*p*f*c*

In Training posted:

Hadn't heard about this thanks for the tip. This is the good poo poo

man, if even cspammers haven't seen the hersh story, the media blackout must be massive

gradenko_2000
Oct 5, 2010

HELL SERPENT
Lipstick Apathy

More and more people are saying

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.
Cobra Gold is Cobra Commander's latest scheme to destabilise the financial markets by reviving the gold standard with the aid of a giant ray gun that turns things into gold, but can be reversed through the application of... I dunno, something stupid.

crepeface
Nov 5, 2004

r*p*f*c*
turns out its fiat currency!

Vladimir Poutine
Aug 13, 2012
:madmax:
lol that the name of the military exercise sounds like a type of cigarette that smokers avoid

also, from last year:

https://www.thaipbsworld.com/cobra-gold-2022-scaled-down-and-no-cobra-sacrifices/

quote:

Unlike heavy-year exercises, there will be no live-fire drills, amphibious landings or aggressive/cruel actions like killing snakes and drinking their warm blood as part of survival training.

Conservationist group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) last year lodged a formal complaint with the US Navy calling for an end to animal cruelty during the exercises. Images of American soldiers slurping blood from decapitated snakes during Cobra Gold training are always highlighted in media coverage of the region’s biggest military drill.

It appears that the PETA petition worked, because no cobras were killed last year and this barbaric act will not be repeated this year either, the animal rights group said in a statement on February 10.

KomradeX
Oct 29, 2011

Prices to rise in Japan on over 10,000 food items over higher costs




That doesn't sound good

Oglethorpe
Aug 8, 2005

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Cobra Gold is Cobra Commander's latest scheme to destabilise the financial markets by reviving the gold standard with the aid of a giant ray gun that turns things into gold, but can be reversed through the application of... I dunno, something stupid.

Not long before Cobra Commander has a shmelting accident

Palladium
May 8, 2012

Very Good
✔️✔️✔️✔️

trade deficit in this jan is up 81% yoy and they are only 36% self sufficient in agriculture

Buck Wildman
Mar 30, 2010

I am Metango, Galactic Governor


three years later an entire generation's workforce lost to suicide following the great manga collapse. a butterfly flaps its wings

Palladium
May 8, 2012

Very Good
✔️✔️✔️✔️

Buck Wildman posted:

three years later an entire generation's workforce lost to suicide following the great manga collapse. a butterfly flaps its wings

"is there a problem with a median hourly wage of US$4?"
"yes, it means we aren't taxing the population enough to expand the military nobody needs"

Throatwarbler
Nov 17, 2008

by vyelkin
https://twitter.com/Jingjing_Li/status/1625704325765816320

Is the Chinese government using the American bombing of the Nordstream pipeline and Chernobyl-ing Ohio to distract attention away from their dastardly balloon spying scandal?

i say swears online
Mar 4, 2005

Throatwarbler posted:

https://twitter.com/Jingjing_Li/status/1625704325765816320

Is the Chinese government using the American bombing of the Nordstream pipeline and Chernobyl-ing Ohio to distract attention away from their dastardly balloon spying scandal?

bloomberg has put out a couple articles about this in the last couple days but i can't find this interview

HiroProtagonist
May 7, 2007

Throatwarbler posted:

https://twitter.com/Jingjing_Li/status/1625704325765816320

Is the Chinese government using the American bombing of the Nordstream pipeline and Chernobyl-ing Ohio to distract attention away from their dastardly balloon spying scandal?

pretty sure they don't need to since neither are getting any mainstream coverage

Centrist Committee
Aug 6, 2019

HiroProtagonist posted:

pretty sure they don't need to since neither are getting any mainstream coverage

nobody watches mainstream coverage

HiroProtagonist
May 7, 2007

Centrist Committee posted:

nobody watches mainstream coverage

is china covering up mainstream news???

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FrancisFukyomama
Feb 4, 2019

what’s the actual official story on nordstream? i imagine it’s that Russia did it but is there like a coherent explanation for why they’d do it

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