OSHA IV: NO SAFETY - SMOKING FIRST - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > OSHA IV: NO SAFETY - SMOKING FIRST

Regular Wario: Mar 27, 2010; Slippery Tilde

Harry_Potato posted:

The FLPD, Packing heat and lifting pallets since 1973.

If all cops are bastards and all forklift operators are gods where does that leave the FLPD, theologically speaking?

Archangels?

# ? Feb 17, 2023 06:34

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 21:26

Varkk: Apr 17, 2004

Ironhead posted:

I've had a bunch of certifications for years and just renewed my fork and lift certs and. . .my cards came in with my last name wrong. It's fairly close (and also a real name) and has my union and local listed so I'm not super concerned but, is this an issue? In my 12 years with this local I don't think I've ever had anyone ask to see my cards, just whether or not I'm certified.

It is the final test, if you report the mistake they will send you the real certification.

# ? Feb 17, 2023 06:35

Gromit: Aug 15, 2000; I am an oppressed White Male, Asian women wont serve me! Save me Campbell Newman!!!!!!!

Hollismason posted:

You gonna get arrested by the forklift police

Someone must have AI-generated a forklift cop car by now, surely?

# ? Feb 17, 2023 07:40

monolithburger: Sep 7, 2011

HelloIAmYourHeart posted:

I love how they've got to the effort to roll up all the slack in this rats nest. Wouldn't want to have all that extra cable hanging about all willy-nilly.

# ? Feb 17, 2023 07:50

Blue Moonlight: Apr 28, 2005; Bitter and Sarcastic

Gromit posted:

Someone must have AI-generated a forklift cop car by now, surely?

# ? Feb 17, 2023 07:54

monolithburger: Sep 7, 2011

gently caress Tha Pooleece

# ? Feb 17, 2023 07:59

Nenonen: Oct 22, 2009; Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

Everyone's a bastard until the certified forklift police shows up

# ? Feb 17, 2023 08:12

PurpleXVI: Oct 30, 2011; Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!

wesleywillis posted:

A REAL forklift operator wouldn't have gotten stuck.

lmao, we had an uncertified guy driving forklifts at our warehouse for like five years until the second time he smashed a large gate with it.

# ? Feb 17, 2023 10:28

Spatial: Nov 15, 2007

HelloIAmYourHeart posted:

# ? Feb 17, 2023 10:38

jetz0r: May 10, 2003; Tomorrow, our nation will sit on the throne of the world. This is not a figment of the imagination, but a fact. Tomorrow we will lead the world, Allah willing.

PurpleXVI posted:

lmao, we had an uncertified guy driving forklifts at our warehouse for like five years until the second time he smashed a large gate with it.

Forklift certification means literally nothing.

You can spend $30 to do a 10 minute online test that makes you forklift certified. There's no governing body, or standards. It's any organization who wants to sell a certificate for passing a test of their own devising.

# ? Feb 17, 2023 10:43

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

I smell a goon project.

# ? Feb 17, 2023 10:44

monolithburger: Sep 7, 2011

Kenning posted:

I smell a goon project.

You can only post in this thread if a mod has seen your forklift certification

# ? Feb 17, 2023 11:02

PurpleXVI: Oct 30, 2011; Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!

jetz0r posted:

Forklift certification means literally nothing.

You can spend $30 to do a 10 minute online test that makes you forklift certified. There's no governing body, or standards. It's any organization who wants to sell a certificate for passing a test of their own devising.

I mean, this is in Denmark, where it absolutely means something. It requires in-person training and taking a short exam.

Plus driving a forklift without one can mean a considerable fine if you get caught by the authorities.

# ? Feb 17, 2023 11:14

Final Blog Entry: Jun 23, 2006; "Love us with money or we'll hate you with hammers!"

I worked at a local hardware store in high school. My forklift certification was basically "oh, you turned 18, great you can drive the forklift now. Go unload that shipment of quikrete".

# ? Feb 17, 2023 11:37

Canuckistan: Jan 14, 2004; I'm the greatest thing since World War III.; Soiled Meat

HelloIAmYourHeart posted:

How did you get a picture of my comm closet?

# ? Feb 17, 2023 11:57

Slugworth: Feb 18, 2001; If two grown men can't make a pervert happy for a few minutes in order to watch a film about zombies, then maybe we should all just move to Iran!

HelloIAmYourHeart posted:

Gonna teach an ai that this is pubic hair.

# ? Feb 17, 2023 12:17

Nettle Soup: Jan 30, 2010; Oh, and Jones was there too.

ekuNNN posted:

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_rq6q5qCO9r1r0uzl6.mp4

Wanted more context on this. It's a sea-wall in Monaco.
https://old.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/113o5j3/monacos_actual_sea_wall/

# ? Feb 17, 2023 12:34

Gromit: Aug 15, 2000; I am an oppressed White Male, Asian women wont serve me! Save me Campbell Newman!!!!!!!

monolithburger posted:

gently caress Tha Pooleece

* reversing beep beep * that's tha sound of the pooleece!

# ? Feb 17, 2023 12:45

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

jetz0r posted:

Forklift certification means literally nothing.

You can spend $30 to do a 10 minute online test that makes you forklift certified. There's no governing body, or standards. It's any organization who wants to sell a certificate for passing a test of their own devising.

link plz

# ? Feb 17, 2023 16:22

Upsidads: Jan 11, 2007; Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates

Is F.L.U.D.D OSHA compliant?

# ? Feb 17, 2023 16:31

FogHelmut: Dec 18, 2003

jetz0r posted:

Forklift certification means literally nothing.

You can spend $30 to do a 10 minute online test that makes you forklift certified. There's no governing body, or standards. It's any organization who wants to sell a certificate for passing a test of their own devising.

So the same as every white collar cert except it's affordable

# ? Feb 17, 2023 16:39

CainFortea: Oct 15, 2004

Bad Munki posted:

link plz

You don't even have to do that you can just print it. Absolutely no one checks these and as stated there's no Central governing authority.

# ? Feb 17, 2023 16:44

Cookie Cutter: Nov 29, 2020; Is there something else that's bothering you Mr. President?

CainFortea posted:

You don't even have to do that you can just print it. Absolutely no one checks these and as stated there's no Central governing authority.

Yeah I have a forklift cert and it looks about as official as the certificate you get for clicking through to the end of the "how to sit at a desk" and "lifting heavy boxes" slideshows.

e: I did actually do some figure 8's (in both forward AND reverse oh yeah :cool:

) and move some pallets around in a carpark to get it though

Cookie Cutter fucked around with this message at 17:01 on Feb 17, 2023

# ? Feb 17, 2023 16:57

Ornamental Dingbat: Feb 26, 2007

Yeah the 2nd link you get when you search for it is the NY State downloadable PDF from the DOT website. Absolutely no accountability.

# ? Feb 17, 2023 16:58

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

CainFortea posted:

You don't even have to do that you can just print it. Absolutely no one checks these and as stated there's no Central governing authority.

I am a man of honor. :colbert:

# ? Feb 17, 2023 16:59

CainFortea: Oct 15, 2004

Of the 3 workers' comp insurance companies i've worked with from the employer's side, not one has even asked if we even have a forklift training regime, let alone some 3rd party certs. That should tell you how meaningless they are.

# ? Feb 17, 2023 17:03

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Well poo poo, I could've been wearing an illicit forklift cert t-shirt this whole time without any consequences?
:negative:

# ? Feb 17, 2023 17:14

holtemon: May 2, 2019; Dancing is forbidden

Qualified

Not qualified

# ? Feb 17, 2023 17:16

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

Captain Hygiene posted:

Well poo poo, I could've been wearing an illicit forklift cert t-shirt this whole time without any consequences?

You'd be stopped by OSHA's Fashion Safety division and forced to fill out an incident report.

# ? Feb 17, 2023 17:17

Shooting Blanks: Jun 6, 2007; Real bullets mess up how cool this thing looks.

-Blade

holtemon posted:

I'm going to guess (and hope) that keg was empty. If it were full that could have been really rough on his shoulder, goddamn. Can't tell what size keg it was though.

# ? Feb 17, 2023 17:26

Kith: Sep 17, 2009; You never learn anything
by doing it right.

^ every time i see that gif my shoulder and back reflexively wince in sympathy

https://i.imgur.com/iQdLRue.mp4

# ? Feb 17, 2023 17:34

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Kith posted:

^ every time i see that gif my shoulder and back reflexively wince in sympathy

https://i.imgur.com/iQdLRue.mp4

Work smarter, not harder

# ? Feb 17, 2023 17:37

Kith: Sep 17, 2009; You never learn anything
by doing it right.

https://i.imgur.com/MTuCKZs.mp4

# ? Feb 17, 2023 17:39

holtemon: May 2, 2019; Dancing is forbidden

I hope that's a sanitized badminton racket at least

# ? Feb 17, 2023 17:39

Nenonen: Oct 22, 2009; Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

Shooting Blanks posted:

I'm going to guess (and hope) that keg was empty. If it were full that could have been really rough on his shoulder, goddamn. Can't tell what size keg it was though.

I think you can tell from the physics of how it falls that it's not heavy, an empty one would fall off easier than a full one. One with just some liquid sloshing around would come down even easier, but why would there be anything left in it if it's a return keg~

(also the driver would probably know which way the pallet is going)

# ? Feb 17, 2023 17:39