r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Grampy wants Grammy gummies

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:35

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 20:50

rotinaj: Sep 5, 2008; Fun Shoe

mllaneza posted:

Point of order, that would be a "gummie".

Sounds like you don�t know the secret trick to turning an uncircumsized dude�s dick into a balloon doggie

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:36

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

Cthulu Carl posted:

Five, actually

You can't count the absence of triangle as a triangle jerk

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:42

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Triangle jerk, triangle jerk

# ? Apr 12, 2023 21:43

Josef bugman: Nov 17, 2011; Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Triangle jerk, triangle jerk

Triangle jerk hates Circle Jerk.

# ? Apr 12, 2023 22:02

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

AITA for cancelling on family vacation after my newly widowed mom decides to bring her new boyfriend?

quote:

My dad lost his 1.5 year battle with cancer one year ago (April 2022) at only 62 yrs old. He and my mom were married for 31 years. The few months before my dad got sick he and my mom were not on great terms and were contemplating divorce. However, through my dad's diagnosis and extreme ups and downs of treatment, they came together, squashed some of their issues and my mom was there to care for my dad every step of the way.

I miss him every day. Me and my mom had always been pretty close but since my dad died I feel like I'm seeing and talking to her less and less these days and it makes me sad.

**In August of 2022 (4 months after my Dad passed) my mom started seeing someone.** She'd call him her "friend", slip in mentions of him in conversation but I personally wanted NOTHING to do with him. (Still don't.) I thought it was TOO SOON and told her so.

Everyone grieves differently and dating after losing a spouse is hard but conversations I've attempted with this guy and the chemistry between them has been super awkward IMO. I feel like she's disregarding any feelings or push-back that me, my sister and extended family have about this relationship. (large extended family, all very close-knit).

She has now starting bringing him to events and parties and there is an awkward vibe when he's around. Nobody wants to say it outloud. This past week, he showed up unexpectedly at our family Easter party (at my parents house). My mom knew he was coming and did not mention to anyone. Following tradition - we stood in prayer before we ate dinner and my uncle prayed out loud for those who we have lost and I felt SO awkward that my mom's boyfriend was there, holding hands with my family as we talked about my Dad, in my Dad's house, almost only a year to the day that he died.

We're now booking flights for a large family vacation in June (condo has already been booked for MONTHS) and my mom casually mentioned at Easter that she's bringing her boyfriend. I didn't hear this at the time and found out later from a cousin. I immediately called and told her my feelings about him going (I don't want him to) and she completely changed the subject and did not acknowledge what I told her at all.

Not to mention, we had decided to leave a day early to save money on flights, but now that her boyfriend is going, it will actually cost me MORE because we will no longer be splitting the costs that we originally planned since they will be doing things separately.

Money is not the problem though. It's now principle to me. Of the 20 family members that will be on this trip, not one person really wants him to be there, except her. He WILL be staying in the same condo and we are going to have to tip-toe around this awkward situation for an entire week while we should be relaxing and enjoying family time together.

**AITA for wanting to cancel on the family vacation and/or stick to my guns about not wanting her boyfriend to go even though she already booked his flight?**

OP is getting ROASTED by reddit, and I don't get it. Like yeah, sounds like mom wanted out anyway and maybe was seeing the guy already, so who can blame her for moving on faster than everyone else, but fuckin read the room lady

I will say the timelines are fuzzy but if she started bringing him around 6mo after dad's death is really lovely. A year is a bit more understandable but insisting on bringing him on vacations and stuff when the whole family is grieving is pretty callous

# ? Apr 12, 2023 22:04

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

Moon Slayer posted:

So you buy a bunch of stuff and then resell it, but then after a while you recruit people to buy your stuff and then resell it. So you're one of a couple of people below someone, and then you've got a couple people below you.

If you imagine it on a chart it's kind of a triangle shape. So it's like a ... triangle plan? No wait that doesn't sound right. What's another word for that triangle shape but in 3D?

sacred triforce

e: beaten a page ago, darn it :negative:

# ? Apr 12, 2023 22:05

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

AITA for �stealing� money from my mom?

quote:

Hi. I (22F) got out of a bad breakup 5 months ago and I�ve been doing a lot of emotional eating to cope with it, we were dating for 3 years. It was a bad relationship because it was really toxic and unhealthy for me. But yeah I�ve been eating a lot more food lately to try and cope. I know it isn�t particularly healthy but it�s a really hard habit to break.

Anyway, I�m currently staying at my mom�s house for a little while after Easter. Last night, I was really upset thinking about my relationship and I wanted to drive to McDonalds but I didn�t have any money on me so I took some from my mom�s money pot. The story behind the money pot is that it�s money for anybody to use, when I lived here I was always allowed to use it for money for the bus, going out with friends etc. I looked at what I was going to buy on the website and I took 35 dollars to cover my meal. I ate there and then came home while everybody was asleep.

My mom woke up this morning and asked me where the money had gone. I told her that I thought everyone was allowed to use it and she told me I�m an adult with an income now so I have just stolen from her. Apparently money is tighter than it used to be and she really needed that 35 dollars. I tried to explain my situation to her and the fact that I just really needed some food at that time and she said that it was a bullshit excuse and that I�m just getting lazy and fat. She told me that I need to pay her back by Friday or she�s not speaking to me anymore. Am I the rear end in a top hat for �stealing from her�? The money pot used to be for everyone so I didn�t mean to steal I feel really bad

Edit: Yes I will be repaying her by Friday

Everybody: How the hell did you spend $35 for one person at McDonalds?

quote:

I got 4 big macs, 2 large fries and 2 mcflurries

# ? Apr 12, 2023 23:01

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

sephiRoth IRA posted:

AITA for cancelling on family vacation after my newly widowed mom decides to bring her new boyfriend?

OP is getting ROASTED by reddit, and I don't get it. Like yeah, sounds like mom wanted out anyway and maybe was seeing the guy already, so who can blame her for moving on faster than everyone else, but fuckin read the room lady

I will say the timelines are fuzzy but if she started bringing him around 6mo after dad's death is really lovely. A year is a bit more understandable but insisting on bringing him on vacations and stuff when the whole family is grieving is pretty callous

I'm not shocked reddit is doing that. They're the types of losers who think that they secretly hold up the world but are nakedly selfish and self-serving at every turn. It's why in any given subcommunity you'll find a huge section of martyrs.

Also yeah the Mom sucks for not having any emotional awareness whatsoever.

Feeling bad for that dad now. Must have not been a particularly nice time dying of cancer if that's who you've got around you.

# ? Apr 12, 2023 23:07

Cacator: Aug 6, 2005; You're quite good at turning me on.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Everybody: How the hell did you spend $35 for one person at McDonalds?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6g0mPo-uJM

# ? Apr 12, 2023 23:09

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for �stealing� money from my mom?

Everybody: How the hell did you spend $35 for one person at McDonalds?

I was expecting more food tbh. It�s been a while since I�ve been to a McDonalds.

# ? Apr 12, 2023 23:33

Punkinhead: Apr 2, 2015

Dazerbeams posted:

I was expecting more food tbh. It�s been a while since I�ve been to a McDonalds.

Last time I went a mcdouble with cheese was almost 5 dollars in my area.

# ? Apr 12, 2023 23:42

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

sephiRoth IRA posted:

AITA for cancelling on family vacation after my newly widowed mom decides to bring her new boyfriend?

OP is getting ROASTED by reddit, and I don't get it. Like yeah, sounds like mom wanted out anyway and maybe was seeing the guy already, so who can blame her for moving on faster than everyone else, but fuckin read the room lady

I will say the timelines are fuzzy but if she started bringing him around 6mo after dad's death is really lovely. A year is a bit more understandable but insisting on bringing him on vacations and stuff when the whole family is grieving is pretty callous

Nah. The same thing happened with my grandpa. Watched grandma slowly shrivel up and die from cancer for a couple years. She was just a skeleton in a skin bag he carried from room to room the last few months. He'd come to terms with his grief watching the cancer eat her up every day. He didn't have a partner that last year of her life, he had a duty.

Something like 6 months after she died he hooked up with a widow and it seemed sudden to us and nobody ever really liked her. But the thing is, he'd mourned grandma's loss before she actually died, so it wasn't sudden to him. He married the second wife well before we were comfortable with the idea. But he didn't like living alone. He'd had a wife for 40+ years and living in that house alone was miserable for him.

Should someone who loses their partner after a long illness really have to wait until their grown adult children feel comfortable with them moving on? No, you gotta live your life. The OP's mom and dad probably hadn't boned for at least a year before he withered away. Lady has the right to get that d.

# ? Apr 12, 2023 23:56

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Tijuana-A-Go-Go posted:

Considering this line:

I'm guessing it's because he thinks it's childish bullshit, and childish things should be dropped the instant you become An Adult

Oh good, it's one of my first ex-girlfriends. That woman was absolutely determined that being mature meant you had to be miserable; doing something you liked was being immature, and that was Bad.

# ? Apr 13, 2023 00:01

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for telling my brothers girlfriend her dog is not equal to a human life and to stop talking?

quote:

I (27m) used to think this was something that people would only say online, but I have definitely seen and heard it firsthand bleeding into real life which is why I am asking here. Maybe I�m just weird because I am surprised, I even have to ask this.

It�s not uncommon to see online (reddit for example) to see people say they would choose to save their dog over the life of a living person because their dog is their dog while the person is just a stranger. That entire mentally seems warped and incredibly vile. I don�t hate dogs, and I like playing with them, but I don�t understand how one can compare one to that of a person. That was once online, but it seems to be bleeding into real life at times.

Yesterday, a family friend was telling my family and my brothers girlfriend Mary (f25) how her son is having major medical issues which could ultimately take his life and how she and her husband were not dealing with it well at all, and my brothers girlfriend said, �I understand what you are going through, when Kennedy (her dog) needed surgery, she didn�t know how to deal with it and was a mess.�

Everyone kind of got quiet because she was comparing the life of a dog to a nine-year-old child, and she said it like it was totally normal. The mom was visibly taken back and hurt, and Mary didn�t understand why. Mary added Kennedy is like a child to her, and before she could go on, I just blurted out something like �not the same at all, please stop talking.�

Mary did stop talking, but it made everything uncomfortable, so everyone called it an evening. My Dad asked Mary to leave and told my brother he needed to ensure he and Mary somehow made this right because that was heartless. My mom said she wasn�t sure how to end the conversation after that, but my method wasn�t it.

My brother hasn�t said much other than he gets it, but he is still upset with me. Mary is demanding an apology and for me to mend the relationship with my dad.

The few people who know about this are torn� some people are saying Mary wasn�t wrong and me and others do not get to tell her how to feel about her dog, and I invalidated her feelings. Others are saying she should be ashamed. One friend said, �this is a problem only white developed nation people could encounter, and Mary is actually a bad person.�

I can�t believe I actually have to ask this, but they got me..AITA for any of this??

# ? Apr 13, 2023 00:06

OPAONI: Jul 23, 2021

Facebook Aunt posted:

Nah. The same thing happened with my grandpa. Watched grandma slowly shrivel up and die from cancer for a couple years. She was just a skeleton in a skin bag he carried from room to room the last few months. He'd come to terms with his grief watching the cancer eat her up every day. He didn't have a partner that last year of her life, he had a duty.

Something like 6 months after she died he hooked up with a widow and it seemed sudden to us and nobody ever really liked her. But the thing is, he'd mourned grandma's loss before she actually died, so it wasn't sudden to him. He married the second wife well before we were comfortable with the idea. But he didn't like living alone. He'd had a wife for 40+ years and living in that house alone was miserable for him.

Should someone who loses their partner after a long illness really have to wait until their grown adult children feel comfortable with them moving on? No, you gotta live your life. The OP's mom and dad probably hadn't boned for at least a year before he withered away. Lady has the right to get that d.

An appropriate username for a dipshit opinion like this. Nobody is saying that daughter has to like the guy, but she sure as gently caress is permitted to decide he doesn't get to come on the vacation she put together, and her mother's an idiot for not getting that.

# ? Apr 13, 2023 00:09

Defiance Industries: Jul 22, 2010; A five-star manufacturer

Mx. posted:

AITA for telling my brothers girlfriend her dog is not equal to a human life and to stop talking?

I invalidated her feelings

As you should. This person's feelings deserve to be invalidated.

# ? Apr 13, 2023 00:11

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for telling my fianc� my son must be named a REAL junior?

quote:

AITA? My fiance is pregnant and when we found out its a boy we decided to make him my junior. My name starts with the letter D so his name is gonna be �D____ Junior�. My fiance said she can agree to name him my name but doesn't want to add the Junior on the birth certificate because she hates the nickname �DJ� which my family has already started calling him.

I got mad and said in order for him to be a real junior he has to actually have junior in the name and to get over the nickname. I think having the option for both a full name and a nickname is nice but shes refusing to include the Junior to the name and said Im not compromising. She got upset herself and said that she already agreed to make him a Junior by using my name and Im an rear end in a top hat. I told her shes the rear end in a top hat since she dorsnt want to include the Junior all over a dumb nickname she doesnt have to use. AITA?

# ? Apr 13, 2023 00:12

Kit Walker: Jul 10, 2010; "The Man Who Cannot Deadlift"

OPAONI posted:

An appropriate username for a dipshit opinion like this. Nobody is saying that daughter has to like the guy, but she sure as gently caress is permitted to decide he doesn't get to come on the vacation she put together, and her mother's an idiot for not getting that.

You're not actually making a counterargument to that post but you are being needlessly hostile

# ? Apr 13, 2023 00:17

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

OPAONI posted:

An appropriate username for a dipshit opinion like this. Nobody is saying that daughter has to like the guy, but she sure as gently caress is permitted to decide he doesn't get to come on the vacation she put together, and her mother's an idiot for not getting that.

Goondolences about ur dad. Pressing F for you and ur family.

# ? Apr 13, 2023 00:21

8one6: May 20, 2012; When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for telling my fiancé my son must be named a REAL junior?

Naming your child after yourself is some 18th century horseshit. Unless you are landed nobility you can gently caress off with direct lineage names.

And if you are landed nobility then feed yourself to a guillotine.

# ? Apr 13, 2023 00:27

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for reading books from a problematic writer for my white friend?

quote:

So basically, I was talking to my non-white friend about a book series I was reading. She�s really into human rights stuff, and it�s something we talk about often. We haven�t spoken for a few months because she�s in med school, but she�s my closest friend.

I�m white, but I�m a big ally. I care a lot about racism, and will argue with people over it. I�m also really big into human rights. I�ve been on tumblr since 14. I was the annoying girl who kept bringing up human rights in her high school class, and talking about how they need to use gender pronouns.

So I was surprised by this friends reaction. I told her I read multiple books by this author, and was telling her problematic elements in them. The author is white and it shows.

For one ex. none of her characters are POC. But when they do have a person of color, it�s so uncomfortable. One main character was complimenting another main character about hiring someone non-white because they are �usually only hired by their own people.� Which was really strange and racist.

In another book, a character remarks on how weird it is seeing an Indian person work at a bookstore that was owned by white people. Apparently Indian people are only suppose to work with Indian people?

There were more examples, but you get it. Weird comments about non-white people.

My friends parents are Indian, so I mentioned that to her. She was shocked, but then asked, �Wait. Why are you reading all her books when it�s clear she�s a racist?�

I felt caught out and backtracked saying, �oh. Well, I don�t know if she�s racist.�

She didn�t like that. She goes, �Are you kidding me? She just told me about like ten racist things she had scattered through her books. If this was a man writing about woman like that, you�d be calling him a sexist.� I am a big feminist, but I�m not a white feminist. I said something like, �I was reading it because my co-worker wanted me to read it. It�s her favorite book, and I want to better friends with her.�

She said, �So you�re willing to support someone racist, so you can appease your write friend? And you�re suppose to be this big ally to us? IDK, it feels performative.�

I said it�s not a big deal, it�s just reading a book and that I was surprised by her reaction. I kinda wish I hadn�t told her now. I don�t like the books, but I figured it was a good way to get close to my co-worker who I like. I guess she didn�t want to make a big deal about it because she ended up saying it was whatever and we moved the conversation on. I definitely called out, I could have done a better job of describing my POV. AITA?

# ? Apr 13, 2023 00:29

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Facebook Aunt posted:

Nah. The same thing happened with my grandpa. Watched grandma slowly shrivel up and die from cancer for a couple years. She was just a skeleton in a skin bag he carried from room to room the last few months. He'd come to terms with his grief watching the cancer eat her up every day. He didn't have a partner that last year of her life, he had a duty.

Something like 6 months after she died he hooked up with a widow and it seemed sudden to us and nobody ever really liked her. But the thing is, he'd mourned grandma's loss before she actually died, so it wasn't sudden to him. He married the second wife well before we were comfortable with the idea. But he didn't like living alone. He'd had a wife for 40+ years and living in that house alone was miserable for him.

Should someone who loses their partner after a long illness really have to wait until their grown adult children feel comfortable with them moving on? No, you gotta live your life. The OP's mom and dad probably hadn't boned for at least a year before he withered away. Lady has the right to get that d.

I mean, that's fine, but maybe don't push them into every family outing if the grief is still raw for your family and it's making them uncomfortable?

# ? Apr 13, 2023 00:37

Issaries: Sep 15, 2008; "At the end of the day
We are all human beings
My father once told me that
The world has no borders"

OPAONI posted:

An appropriate username for a dipshit opinion like this. Nobody is saying that daughter has to like the guy, but she sure as gently caress is permitted to decide he doesn't get to come on the vacation she put together, and her mother's an idiot for not getting that.

I think the contract clearly states: Till death yadda yadda... she's free.
Also she was ready to divorce his rear end, before his terminal illness complicated matters.

# ? Apr 13, 2023 00:40

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Midnight Voyager posted:

I mean, that's fine, but maybe don't push them into every family outing if the grief is still raw for your family and it's making them uncomfortable?

This is where I'm at. Mom should do what she wants, but if the whole family is balking she should probably show some empathy and back off a bit.

Assuming OP is presenting it all in good faith, which, you know, :shrug:

# ? Apr 13, 2023 00:43

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for excluding my friend's gf from our discussions during a party ?

quote:

I (22F) have a best friend (22M) and we're both attending med school. He's currently dating a woman (21F) who's working at her parents bakery and from what I understood has no other plans in life than to take over their bakery one day. I know I'll sound rude, but this girl really fits the dumb blonde bimbo stereotype to a T (but she's indeed really attractive, so I'll give her that). My best friend took her to one of the parties we have with the other med school students before we start another term in order to introduce her to them.

She was getting along with them pretty well, but then I started discussing with my colleagues about our upcoming term program and also about their plans to handle the final term material. It was pretty obvious my friend's girlfriend got lost instantly and she pretty much just took her bf aside and they ended up leaving early. Well, my friend was pretty pissed about what happened and texted saying that I was an rear end in a top hat for starting a discussion which I knew very well his gf would be left out of and that we never discuss our school materials at parties, so I must've done this purposefully. I told him that this was a special occasion considering our final term of the year and the graduation exam are coming and that it was his choice to take his gf to a party full of med school students knowing very well she wouldn't been able to fit there.

He said she was fitting more than fine till I decided to go on a power trip and I should apologize to her for making her feel excluded. I told him I'm not gonna do it as his gf should've been aware something like this could've happened and she shouldn't have come if she couldn't handle it. We're currently on pretty bad terms, as he doesn't want to drop the issue about his gf. So AITA for not apologizing or should my bf just accept that his gf is not fitted for our group ?

# ? Apr 13, 2023 00:52

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for excluding my friend's gf from our discussions during a party ?

quote:

So AITA for not apologizing or should my bf just accept that his gf is not fitted for our group ?

My best friend (aka bf) ... right .... tell us how you really feel. "Hey, anyone up for talking about the one topic that this lady ain't gonna be able to talk about?"

# ? Apr 13, 2023 01:16

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

DeeplyConcerned posted:

My best friend (aka bf) ... right .... tell us how you really feel. "Hey, anyone up for talking about the one topic that this lady ain't gonna be able to talk about?"

Some years ago my dad and his wife met with me for a birthday dinner, and they brought my nephew, who was all of 8 years old and didn't know me. Dad and stepmom had been discussing politics (election year whooo) and wanted to keep talking that poo poo. I had no interest in that poo poo, so I asked my stranger of a nephew what his favorite dinosaur or Pokemon was. Bam, instant fun conversation, that my dad killed asap because "we should all be having one discussion together." Because what kid doesn't want to hear what rear end in a top hat is in the White House.

No, neither my dad or stepmom admitted their favorite dinosaur or Pokemon.

AITA For telling my half-brother that he needs to find someone else to be a new sister for his younger brother because that person is not me?

quote:

(Throwaway)

My (22F) sperm donor Chris was not a father to me in any way. He would tell my mom how he loved her and promised to marry her. But he kept her a secret from others and eventually started a family with a different woman who his family viewed as being more �respectable.�

Chris would save face to others by playing the victim and saying how he loved me �with all his heart� but my �jealous� mom kept me away from him �out of spite.� In reality, my mom would beg Chris to spend time with me. Many times when my mom thought I was asleep, I overheard her offering to pay Chris money just to visit me. There was more than one instance where Chris agreed, took the money, but then made an excuse and didn�t come.

On the rare occasion that Chris did spend time with me, his dismissive actions and degrading comments toward me made it clear that I did not matter compared to his new children. As a teenager, I gave up on Chris and focused on healing and moving on. There�s still a lot of pain that I am processing, since I spent so much of my childhood and adolescence chasing Chris�s approval/acknowledgement and never getting it.

Chris and his wife are divorcing. I know because my half-brother Zander reached out to me recently. Zander (20M) brought my younger half-brother Joey (15M) to meet me. I reminded them of the way Chris treated me (they were often present and observed many of Chris� dismissive actions and degrading comments toward me.) But they were only willing to believe the version of Chris that they grew up with, insisting that he was a great father and that I should �forgive� him.

Zander asked to start having regular meetings. I explained that I was sorry, but I do not want to keep interacting with him and Joey. I need to focus on taking care of my own mental health right now, and I know it�s going to be hurt by me interacting with the children who 1) Chris left me for and 2) keep insisting he was a great father and that I should forgive him.

Zander kept telling me to reconsider. Because their sister Tina is no longer with them and Joey is really hopeful/excited about having a sister again. (According to Zander, what happened to Tina has a big role in why Chris and his wife are separating.) I told Zander that I am sorry about all that is happening to him and Joey, but that he needs to find a different person to be Joey�s �new� sister because that person can�t be me right now. Zander called me selfish and heartless.

I was explaining the situation to an acquaintance, and she told me that I should have more empathy for Joey because he�s a kid in an unfair family situation just like I was. And that I should make an effort since Joey just really wants to have a sister again.

I think distance is kinder to both of us. I don�t want to give Joey any more hope about having a sister again just for the relationship to likely turn sour or be cut off. And I don�t think having empathy should mean putting myself in a position that I know will hurt my mental health. AITA?

Look we just need a new sister, you'll do!

AITA for telling my friend if she calls herself a whore people will treat her like one?

quote:

I [19m] have been hooking up with this girl [19f] for a couple months, and we�ve been getting closer, to the point I could consider her a friend. We tell each other about each other's lives, love lives, hang out, and so on.

She often talks about how guys only want to be with her sexually, only seem interested in sex, and never want her for her, and wonders why this is. I think to some extent, it�s because that�s how she presents herself: she calls herself a whore/slut unironcially, her instagram bio is �throat goat�, she�s very sexually forward, and she�s shown me conversations with guys she�s liked, where they�ve been talking about something completely non sexual and she steers the conversation towards something sexual. Hell, she offered to blow me an hour into knowing me. Nothing wrong with any of that, but if she presents herself that way, then I feel it�s expected people treat her that way. Like, as an analogy, if I were to present myself as a virtuoso musician, people would probably ask me to ask about music; if she presents herself as super sexual, people will probably reach out for sexual reasons.

Definitely, there�s a chicken and egg element to it: does she act so sexual because people sexualized her, or do people sexualize her because she sexualizes herself? Probably both, but at this point, I think the way she presents herself colors the way people sees her, so even if it started as the former, now it�s the latter too.

Yesterday, she asked me why I think people sexualize her. I asked if she wanted honesty, and she said yes. I said essentially what I said above: the first few times it probably was just creeps and she didn�t have anything to do with it, but how she likely took it to heart and acts hyper sexual now, calls herself a whore, is sexually forward, causes people to see her that way too. I told her I recognize why she might choose to act that way and it�s not her fault but that�s the pattern that exists in my opinion.

She got upset at me for �blaming her�, but she asked for honesty and I gave her my honest opinion. I told her that�s just my opinion and I even said it�s not her fault at all, but she called me the AH.

Am I?

I have never heard the spoilered term before but now I want to use it for an animal necklace social media page.

AITA for asking my brother to pay $30,000 for my engagement ring?

quote:

I hosted a family dinner over the weekend. My brother brought my nephews (4 and 8) over as well.

I used to wear my engagement ring all the time but lately I keep it in my walk in closet and mainly wear it for special occasions. While I was cleaning up the dinner table, my nephews went to go play while the adults were still in the outdoor patio/outdoor kitchen area. My brother was not supervising his kids.

During this time, my nephews went into the master bedroom without anyone knowing and started playing with everything. Including my engagement ring. When we came to look for them, they paniced because they know they aren't supposed to be upstairs, ran into the master bathroom and flushed my ring.

We called a plumber in case it was somehow in the u trap of the toilet and not actually gone. But nope. Unfortunately it was gone for good.

We still had the original receipt, so I called my brother. I emailed him a scanned copy as proof of the cost and asked him to reimburse me for the ring my nephew flushed. Immediately he started calling me an rear end in a top hat because we were family and he was just a child. He has refused to repay the cost of my ring.

I told him I will be taking him to court for this and now my entire family is blowing up my phone saying family shouldn't sue each other and just let it go.

Edit: No, the ring was not insured. I found out the day after my nephew flushed it. My husband says he forgot and in the end never actually insured it.

Edit 2: My brother says he does not have the money to repay even $100 per month and has refused any kind of repayment plan. He said I live in a nice enough house and if I want a replacement, I should just sell my car.

Edit 3: My brother, to this day, has not truly apologized. It was a Canadian sorry. Sorry, not sorry. He said kids will do what is normal for kids, and they shouldn't be held responsible for a ring. They were supposed to supervise their kids outdoors with the rest of the family while I was busy cleaning up.

Cowslips Warren fucked around with this message at 01:31 on Apr 13, 2023

# ? Apr 13, 2023 01:26

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Cowslips Warren posted:

I have never heard the spoilered term before but now I want to use it for an animal necklace social media page.

# ? Apr 13, 2023 01:38

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Aren�t all Pok�mon dinosaurs?

# ? Apr 13, 2023 01:39

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

DeeplyConcerned posted:

My best friend (aka bf) ... right .... tell us how you really feel. "Hey, anyone up for talking about the one topic that this lady ain't gonna be able to talk about?"

Speaking generically, if you're all in the same grad program or career, it's pretty common to have discussions that revolve around that shared interest. Especially if there's a major event (like their final term) coming up; it's often a very natural thing to have a few minutes of shop talk come up.

But in this case, all you need to know about how OP feels is that she felt it necessary to lead off with a full paragraph explaining how the girlfriend is a dumb bimbo who's not ambitious enough. The fact OP slips up and calls him "bf" at the end of the post is just confirmation of what she already very clearly implied right from the start.

Cowslips Warren posted:

Some years ago my dad and his wife met with me for a birthday dinner, and they brought my nephew, who was all of 8 years old and didn't know me. Dad and stepmom had been discussing politics (election year whooo) and wanted to keep talking that poo poo. I had no interest in that poo poo, so I asked my stranger of a nephew what his favorite dinosaur or Pokemon was. Bam, instant fun conversation, that my dad killed asap because "we should all be having one discussion together." Because what kid doesn't want to hear what rear end in a top hat is in the White House.

Not just kids don't want to hear about that. I'm significantly older than 8 years old and would also find "let's talk about dinosaurs and Pokemon" a far more interesting conversation than hearing someone parrot Fox News rants.

# ? Apr 13, 2023 01:52

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA For telling my half-brother that he needs to find someone else to be a new sister for his younger brother because that person is not me?

Because their sister Tina is no longer with them and Joey is really hopeful/excited about having a sister again. (According to Zander, what happened to Tina has a big role in why Chris and his wife are separating.)

uh, this can be taken many ways in a story where a female child is degraded vs the new golden child boys, what happened to Tina?

# ? Apr 13, 2023 01:57

JackSplater: Nov 20, 2014; Metal Coat? It's already active?!

Midnight Voyager posted:

uh, this can be taken many ways in a story where a female child is degraded vs the new golden child boys, what happened to Tina?

I'm assuming she died, because of

quote:

Because their sister Tina is no longer with them

# ? Apr 13, 2023 02:12

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Aren’t all Pokémon dinosaurs?

Scientifically, yes.

# ? Apr 13, 2023 02:12

Cerekk: Sep 24, 2004; Oh my god, JC!

Dazerbeams posted:

I was expecting more food tbh. It�s been a while since I�ve been to a McDonalds.

I was surprised how much he got. A quarter pounder meal is $17 here; his order would be close to $50.

# ? Apr 13, 2023 02:25

FoolyCharged: Oct 11, 2012; Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

MrQwerty posted:

I'm CPR certed because I was on the safety team at work and I would probably call 911 and cross my fingers before I ever even considered doing compressions, especially if I don't have another certed person there to do compressions with me. I also would not sexually harass anyone involved, though.

As a 911 responder: please, god, just try. It's all right if you panic and lose your poo poo when someone dies in front of you like that dudes gf, but if your head is on straight, just do it. As mentioned, dispatch can walk you through it if you're worried about being rusty. And if you're worried about loving it up? Good(not really) news! If they need CPR, their heart isn't beating and they're already dead. You literally can't make their day worse, so why not give it a shot? You'll have to break through some cartilage and that's incredibly weird feeling, but contrary to popular belief you're not going to snap their rib bones.

And here's why bystander cpr is important:

From the time a person's heart stops beating they have about 4 minutes before their brain begins to experience permanent damage and about 10 minutes before they're irreversibly brain dead.

Let's run a quick timeline of an incredibly idealized scenario.

00:00 - Person enters arrest. We'll assume this is witnessed and that the people around them get over the shock superhuman fast, and manage to check the person, realize that they need 911, and begin the call within 30 seconds.

00:30 - 911 call begins. Dispatchers are trained to get a dispatch done within 90 seconds

02:00 - The patient is halfway to permanent brain damage. Emergency response crews are just now getting alerted. We'll assume the crew is in their unit almost back to the station after their last call, in practice we could be in the middle of a shower and need to take time to frantically throw clothes on, taking a poo poo, on the other side of the station or any number of minor timesinks between the call dropping and us reaching our apparatus.

05:00 - we actually manage to drive to the scene. How long that takes depends pretty on where you are relative to where we are but this is leaning on the shorter side. The patient is currently undergoing permanent brain damage

05:30 - we get to the patient with our gear and begin resuscitation efforts.

Now let's run that same scenario with bystander cpr

00:00 - Person enters arrest. We'll assume this is witnessed and that the people around them get over the shock superhuman fast, and manage to check the person, realize that they need 911, and begin the call within 30 seconds.

00:30 - 911 call begins. Compressions begin. Patient now actually has time for us to reach them.

Now these numbers (other than 911 -> dispatch time and the time until brain. Damage/Death) are all stuff I just made up on the spot, but it is all incredibly optimistic.

The truth is that without you, by the time ems gets there the person is likely seriously brain damaged and approaching brain death. The vast, vast majority of patients I've gotten back were witnessed arrests with immediate bystander cpr. Even if you haven't had any cpr training, it's worth the try of asking the dispatcher to coach you through it. That poo poo saves lives.

Secondary PSA. Those AEDs on the walls everywhere are for bystanders. We've got our own defibrillators.They tend to have pretty pictures on where to place the pads and audio instructions, so if there's one nearby grab it and tell the 911 operator it's there.

Also, it's generally bad form to sexually harass people next to their dead friends. I'll have the baconator please.

# ? Apr 13, 2023 02:29

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for �stealing� money from my mom?

Everybody: How the hell did you spend $35 for one person at McDonalds?

I'm a fatass who just ate a pound and a half of chicken and that still makes me feel ill.

# ? Apr 13, 2023 02:31

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

FoolyCharged posted:

Also, it's generally bad form to sexually harass people next to their dead friends. I'll have the baconator please.

Do we think if the friend had died the guy would have waited until after the funeral to start hitting on her, or try to slide in there when everyone�s still wearing black?

# ? Apr 13, 2023 02:47

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for asking my brother to pay $30,000 for my engagement ring?

As usual, when an expensive thing disappears in presence of family members, it leads one to wonder if it was lost or "lost". That ring might be in the display case of a nearby pawn shop, and the brother's wallet might be a couple of thousand dollars fatter.

# ? Apr 13, 2023 02:51

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 20:50

ccubed: Jul 14, 2016; How's it hanging, brah?

Cowslips Warren posted:

I have never heard the spoilered term before but now I want to use it for an animal necklace social media page.

Nancy Reagan

# ? Apr 13, 2023 03:14

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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