r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

sullat: Jan 9, 2012

Kenshin posted:

If you have little baby tolerance then maybe, but if he's smoking a j daily then no, it is not like downing a bottle of wine

He hasn't even taken a hit of the baby endorphins there's no way he has little baby tolerance.

# ? May 9, 2023 04:37

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# ? May 30, 2024 14:19

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

As someone who drinks way too much wine a whole goddamn bottle of wine let alone two of them can't be equivalent to a single joint unless that's a hell of a loving joint.

# ? May 9, 2023 06:11

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

sullat posted:

He hasn't even taken a hit of the baby endorphins there's no way he has little baby tolerance.

Yeah, I have zero little baby tolerance and saw the cutest kid the other day. I get the kid laughing next thing I know I'm laid out. Full of endorphins.

# ? May 9, 2023 06:27

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

AITA For giving away a bunk bed that I could have sold in order to help my sister-in-law and brother with their rent?

quote:

(Fake names for anonymity)

My sister-in-law �Fae� and brother �Max� had recently struggled to afford their rent, as it went up. They received the standard 90 day notice from their landlady, but still struggled to keep up with the rent due to not spending responsibly.

Fae and Max asked me if I could help them financially. I respectfully told them no. (If they had been in debt because something unavoidable drained their savings (like medical expenses) I would have taken from my own savings. But that isn�t what happened here.)

Fae and Max decided to sell one of their cars. Max has to take the bus to work on certain mornings now. But they are now fully caught up with their rent payments and have become more responsible with their spending.

I have a close friend �Jim� with two young daughters. His youngest�s crib used to be in he and his wife�s room, but now she is too old for the crib and will be sharing a room with her sister.

Jim casually mentioned this to me, and that he felt bad, since having two normal beds in that room would be tight. I had a bunk bed that I used to share with a roommate. It�s just been sitting around in storage, so I offered it to Jim for free as long as he helped me move it.

My parents recently moved into a new house and held a small housewarming party. Jim and his wife attended as well, as we�ve been friends for years and consider each other family. During the party, Jim brought his daughters up to me to �Thank auntie OP for giving us your bunk bed.�

Fae happened to be in the dining room as well when that happened. She and Max came up to me after the other guests left and said they were disappointed that I had given the bunk bed to Jim when I could have easily sold it to help them with their rent situation.

Fae and Max acknowledged that I had no technical obligation to help with their rent. But said it was about morals and that since I was choosing to be generous, I should have prioritized actual family over Jim.

My father wanted me to apologize to Fae and Max, since I could have easily gotten two or three hundred for the bunk bed and that would have helped them a lot before they had to sell one of their cars. My mother told me not to, because Fae and Max are responsible for themselves and I was allowed to do something generous for Jim.

I still feel bad, since Fae and Max had to sell one of their cars and relying on the bus is inconvenient. I still don�t think that I should have to apologize for doing a generous thing for a friend. But I know I�m biased. Are Fae, Max, and my father right that actual family should have come before a friend?

can confirm, a used bunk bed costs around two or three hundred dollars... to have someone haul it away. not a whole lot of people buying used furniture these days, for some reason

# ? May 9, 2023 06:35

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

It'll pay dividends any... day... now...

Boyfriend (M20s) thinks that the $4K I (F20s) loaned him is an investment in our relationship.

quote:

Tried posting this in /personalfinance but I was told this was more of a relationship issue!

We are in our mid-20s, dating for a year and a half. Before I met him, I lived extremely frugally and built up a savings of 20,000. Now, I have about 4,000 of it left. I don�t want to cast the blame on him! I made poor financial decisions in this relationship. In the span of our relationship, I was laid off from two jobs, and I didn�t say �no� to eating out and other purchases. I am working a low-wage job (18/hr), and live jn one of the most expensive cities in the world.

I moved to his city within a few months of dating and we got a place together; he quit his job, so I had to cover the first two months of rent and security deposit (which we did not get back) until he found work. A year later, we moved to a new city for his career aspirations, which is even more HCOL. Again, I had to cover the first two months rent and security deposit until he found a job.

In total, he owes me roughly 4,000 in rent. I THOUGHT I was �loaning� him the money until he got steady enough to pay me back, and every now and then, we�ll get into an argument about it.

Last night, I once again brought up my concerns about my finances and my low savings. One of the key solutions is for me to get a more high paying job, which I am actively looking for. But in the meantime, I told him I�m no longer living above my means, and I need to go back to my frugal lifestyle which he disagrees with. He doesn�t want to scrimp and save now, because he believes that in a few years, we�ll be in a much better financial situation once our careers take off.

I brought up the money I �loaned � him and asked him if he would sign a repayment agreement. He flipped out at the word �loan�! He was extremely offended and insisted that I wasn�t loaning him money, I was INVESTING in our relationship, and just like an investment, I need to let it mature and grow; I can�t expect it back all at once. And asking him to sign a contract meant that I didn�t trust him or have faith in our relationship.

In addition, he�s thinking about proposing soon and wants to join finances, so because we�re �in this together,� he doesn�t think that he technically �owes� me anything.

I�m honestly in disbelief and although I love him, I feel like we are not financially compatible. I assumed that covering his rent was a �loan�, and I would get it back. Even more so, he said he can�t make monthly payments to me because he has a few vacations planned with his friends . Yes, he�s been working hard and deserves these vacations � but I basically feel like I�m funding trips that I�m not invited on.

I feel trapped. I make about 2,500 a month. We rent an apartment that is 2,100 a month. If we break up, there is NO way I can afford this on my own. I can�t get another roommate because it�s a one bedroom. I have 8 months of this lease left.

Should I stay for the next 8 months because of our lease? Try to talk to the landlord about breaking the lease?

I love him, really, and we have SO many great memories. But I think that our financial and maturity levels are too different, and the longer I stay, the more resentment I�ll build.

TLDR- I covered my boyfriends rent for four months, but he insists that this was an �investment� in our relationship. He promises he�ll pay me back but he simply can�t afford it right now because of vacations he�s taking. I�m thinking about cutting my losses, but I�m trapped because of a lease I can�t break and an apartment I can�t afford on my own.

# ? May 9, 2023 08:29

Atticus_1354: Dec 10, 2006; barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark

It's such a perfect story about why you shouldn't get emotionally involved with your investment.

# ? May 9, 2023 08:53

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

DemoneeHo posted:

Normally i would make a joke about how Bernice is able to stay together with Anna, like she's rich or amazing in bed. But clearly Anna is only in it for Bernice's copy of Lego Indiana Jones

The game has co-op and it's a lot of fun.

# ? May 9, 2023 09:04

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Runcible Cat posted:

It'll pay dividends any... day... now...

Boyfriend (M20s) thinks that the $4K I (F20s) loaned him is an investment in our relationship.

looks like it's been paying off for the bf, anyway. OP posted about this guy a year ago. her post is a bit too long but you can read it here if you want. this response sums it up pretty nicely:

quote:

You've only known him for six months, most of it long distance.

He rushed you into moving in together.

He got you to move to a different city away from your friends and family.

He got you to commit to shared financial responsibilities and in two months has taken care of 0% of his half.

His paycheque somehow just never arrives to cover rent and the deposit, even though he was allegedly working a good job.

He lost his job immediately after it was too late to just not move in together.

He has you lying to his family for him.

You're suffering financially to support him.

He still buys weed and alcohol all the time and is planning a vacation.

He's done nothing to earn money and pay his bills between losing his last job and finding a new one.

He has created a situation that has shamed you into silence and pretending everything is fine when it is extremely not fine.
[and a bunch of good advice that OP completely fails to act on]

she says she's leaving him for real this time, so i'm looking forward to her next post in a year

# ? May 9, 2023 09:06

Bright Bart: Apr 27, 2020; False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

Thinking about Super Mario Bros.

:discourse:

It's the Platonic ideal of a r/ story: Even if it's fake and even if it were explicitly parody or creative writing it is and would be hilarious.

# ? May 9, 2023 09:11

CommissarMega: Nov 18, 2008; THUNDERDOME LOSER

Where did the new title come from? Sounds like a doozy of a story that I missed.

# ? May 9, 2023 09:35

wheatpuppy: Apr 25, 2008; YOU HAVE MY POST!

CommissarMega posted:

Where did the new title come from? Sounds like a doozy of a story that I missed.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for not wanting to be woke up in the middle of the night to make my husband food or rub him?

# ? May 9, 2023 09:46

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for not wanting to be woke up in the middle of the night to make my husband food or rub him?

My 2 husbands wake me up in the middle of the night fighting over who gets to sleep on my pillow, and then the loser throws up in the doorway. AITA?

# ? May 9, 2023 09:56

Bright Bart: Apr 27, 2020; False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

re: Weed: I've skimmed magazines in cannabis stores and there were several articles by moms on how being high makes their interactions with their children, them better parents. I imagine there are whole blogs on this very topic.

Not saying that's the right point of view. And no idea if it applies to dads as well since the articles were always about mothers.

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA For giving away a bunk bed that I could have sold in order to help my sister-in-law and brother with their rent?

Not really the same at all but I was reminded of how during a particularly hot run of summers my dad replaced his air conditioner with a never model and then sold the old-but-still-running one to a friendly neighbour at a heavy discount. Sounds nice yeah? But this was after me regularly complaining of being too hot at my mom's place.

Unsure whether it would be worse if he had sold it to a stranger at full value as opposed to basically giving it away to someone he liked that wasn't me.

# ? May 9, 2023 10:19

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

It'd be a very different story if it was say, 'we don't have enough beds for everyone and you have a bunk bed you're looking to get rid of'.

This is just a mix of bad priorities and no thought into how much things are actually worth.

# ? May 9, 2023 10:27

Shithouse Dave: Aug 5, 2007; each post manufactured to the highest specifications

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for not wanting to be woke up in the middle of the night to make my husband food or rub him?

My husband woke me up at 4am this morning really excited because he had done a poo

# ? May 9, 2023 10:44

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for trying to tell my sister that my wife is right and she should wear makeup for her wedding?

quote:

Me: [39M], my wife [37F], my sister [43F]

My sister has her wedding coming up. She was a full-time nurse in the armed forces from 2002-2012 and after she left the service she got a job as a surgical/operating room nurse. The hospital she works does not allow anyone (doctors, nurses etc) to wear makeup in the operating room. There are other rules like no nail polish or perfume too but makeup is the big one. Something about keeping the environment sterile. My sister said she isn't going to wear makeup on her wedding day. My wife offered to teach her or to do some light makeup on the day but my sister said no. She said she hasn't worn or owned makeup since she joined the armed forces and so she does not think she needs it for her wedding.

I think my wife is right. Also my wife was pretty hurt when my sister said no. My wife pointed out that she might look washed out in the photos but my sister just said that besides her friend, our mom and my wife no one else at the wedding will be wearing makeup. Her fianc�, he isn't so she does not think she needs it. I think my wife is right and that my sister will regret it after the fact. My sister thinks we are wrong and it's causing friction between her and I now. I just don't want her to regret it later. She doesn't deserve that. Plus my wife is still hurt.

My wife basically told my sister that she's too ugly to go without makeup for her wedding, but my sister is happy with how she looks. But now my wife's feelings are hurt!!!

# ? May 9, 2023 11:04

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

My spouse has never used makeup outside of Halloween in their entire lives and yet my mother-in-law still had a bunch of poo poo with her at our wedding just in case.

# ? May 9, 2023 11:23

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

Pope Corky the IX posted:

My spouse has never used makeup outside of Halloween in their entire lives and yet my mother-in-law still had a bunch of poo poo with her at our wedding just in case.

Having makeup there for her to use if she changes her mine? All good! But to tell her that she's going to regret not wearing makeup and that she's going to looked washed out in the photos, that's some bullshit. Some comments are saying that wife sells Avon or Mary Kay and that's why she was so up in sister's face about using it LOL.

# ? May 9, 2023 11:34

Bonster: Mar 3, 2007; Keep rolling, rolling

quote:

Deleting this because I'm tired of getting Reddit cares messages. I'm up to 6 now.

Also tired of the nasty DMs from r/AmITheDevil posters.

Btw we are Indian and living in the UK you morons. Not everyone on Reddit is a white American.

Make-up man bowed out fast.

# ? May 9, 2023 12:50

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

And what is a Reddit Cares message?

# ? May 9, 2023 12:53

i am a moron: Nov 12, 2020; "I think if there’s one thing we can all agree on it’s that Penn State and Michigan both suck and are garbage and it’s hilarious Michigan fans are freaking out thinking this is their natty window when they can’t even beat a B12 team in the playoffs lmao"

Pope Corky the IX posted:

My spouse has never used makeup outside of Halloween in their entire lives and yet my mother-in-law still had a bunch of poo poo with her at our wedding just in case.

Same with mine and I�ve always really appreciated it about her, gently caress that traditional poo poo

Pope Corky the IX posted:

And what is a Reddit Cares message?

it�s reporting people for potential self-harm and is mostly used to troll

# ? May 9, 2023 12:56

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

Well, at least there's some hope in the ending...

AITA for telling my sister she needs to let go of the fact she didn't get her picture perfect pregnancy announcement and help her kids?

quote:

My sister has two kids. An 11 year old girl and a 10 year old boy. Their father and my sister were married, unhappily, before he died. Both were amazing parents who loved their kids. They did not work as a couple. Both were so young when they started dating and then she got pregnant and they fought to try and make a family work for the kids but it only made them hate each other over time. Then he died and my niblings were heartbroken. At 5 and 6 they were young but he was one of their two favorite people.

My sister has remarried since, about a year ago and she recently learned she was pregnant. She had this big photo perfect announcement planned with her, her husband and the kids, to show their excitement for the new baby arriving and the growing of their blended family. Except my niblings are not excited and this was not a happy thing for them. They told my sister they didn't want to be part of her announcement and when she asked why, they said they kind of hate that she is pregnant with someone else's baby and they don't want to be a blended family. She was heartbroken. She questioned them on why and they said her husband is just her husband and not their dad and this baby "isn't dad's" and how they wouldn't have chosen for a baby to come along.

It's been weeks now and my sister is mourning the announcement she planned and I think she is holding onto some negative feelings toward the kids. I think she dropped the ball a lot on this because clearly she never asked her kids how they felt about her husband or about the changes that had come into their lives. She just assumed they were happy and now her bubble has burst.

The kids told me the other day she was different with them now and they wondered if they could live with me because they think their mom just wants her new family now and not them if they don't want the new family. This is when I knew I needed to speak to my sister. She told me how much of a shock it was for her kids to say they weren't excited and didn't want the family they have. She also told me how much it broke her heart that they didn't do the announcement for her and now she won't be able to show the baby this exciting, loving announcement they get older, won't be able to show how the whole family was excited for their arrival. I told her she needs to let go of the fact she won't get her announcement as she wanted it. That she has two kids who need her and she needs to help them through this because they think everyone would be better off if they lived with me and that is not good for them to feel that way. She told me I was being unfair to her and piling on about something she's upset about. I told her she always told me being mom came first, her kids needs came first and that meant sometimes adults had to deal with their own poo poo quickly. I told her that was what her kids needed right now.

She still told me I came down too hard but I think it sort of worked. She is still not happy with me though. So AITA?

# ? May 9, 2023 12:56

Clocks: Oct 2, 2007

I have self-esteem issues so I prefer to wear makeup. I think people who are confident about not wearing makeup are super cool. :3:

# ? May 9, 2023 12:58

Incoherence: May 22, 2004; POYO AND TEAR

Runcible Cat posted:

Well, at least there's some hope in the ending...

AITA for telling my sister she needs to let go of the fact she didn't get her picture perfect pregnancy announcement and help her kids?

*Frontier Psychiatrist voice* Those kids need therapy.

# ? May 9, 2023 13:05

LawfulWaffle: Mar 11, 2014; Well, that aligns with the vibes I was getting. Which was, like, "normal" kinda vibes.

I can�t imagine getting married and having a kid with someone without at least having some conversations with my pre-teen children. Do they even like the new husband? Does he like them? Does the mom care? Seems weird because I feel like the stories about a widow or widower who raises kids usually become really protective of those kids and elevate their status a bit just to deal with the tragedy. I feel bad for the kids and hope that they can find some harmony with what�s going on around them.

# ? May 9, 2023 13:06

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

i am a moron posted:

Same with mine and I�ve always really appreciated it about her, gently caress that traditional poo poo

I went from �I�m surprised they give a poo poo in the first place� to �Of course� by the end of the sentence.

# ? May 9, 2023 13:10

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

LawfulWaffle posted:

I can�t imagine getting married and having a kid with someone without at least having some conversations with my pre-teen children. Do they even like the new husband? Does he like them? Does the mom care? Seems weird because I feel like the stories about a widow or widower who raises kids usually become really protective of those kids and elevate their status a bit just to deal with the tragedy. I feel bad for the kids and hope that they can find some harmony with what�s going on around them.

OK but people aren't always like stories.

# ? May 9, 2023 13:11

i am a moron: Nov 12, 2020; "I think if there’s one thing we can all agree on it’s that Penn State and Michigan both suck and are garbage and it’s hilarious Michigan fans are freaking out thinking this is their natty window when they can’t even beat a B12 team in the playoffs lmao"

Clocks posted:

I have self-esteem issues so I prefer to wear makeup. I think people who are confident about not wearing makeup are super cool.

I think wearing makeup is also cool and also trolling your stick in the mud relatives (if you have people in your life like that) is also cool. We also didn�t take either one of our names when we got married and that pissed people off worse than makeup could have

3D Megadoodoo posted:

OK but people aren't always like stories.

For sure but checking in on your kids to see how they�re doing with this kinda thing is like� baseline parenting in my mind

# ? May 9, 2023 13:19

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

i am a moron posted:

I think wearing makeup is also cool and also trolling your stick in the mud relatives

OK I think I pretty much understand what "trolling your stick" means but what are "mud relatives" :confused:

i am a moron posted:

For sure but checking in on your kids to see how they�re doing with this kinda thing is like� baseline parenting in my mind

Yeah but most people are poo poo.

# ? May 9, 2023 13:23

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Incoherence posted:

*Frontier Psychiatrist voice* Those kids need therapy.

Psychosomatic?

# ? May 9, 2023 13:26

i am a moron: Nov 12, 2020; "I think if there’s one thing we can all agree on it’s that Penn State and Michigan both suck and are garbage and it’s hilarious Michigan fans are freaking out thinking this is their natty window when they can’t even beat a B12 team in the playoffs lmao"

3D Megadoodoo posted:

OK I think I pretty much understand what "trolling your stick" means but what are "mud relatives"

In your mind, what does �trolling your stick� mean

3D Megadoodoo posted:

Yeah but most people are poo poo.

True

# ? May 9, 2023 13:28

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

3D Megadoodoo posted:

OK I think I pretty much understand what "trolling your stick" means but what are "mud relatives"

They can't do magic.

# ? May 9, 2023 13:29

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

They can't do magic.

No, it's just Zoomer slang for edging.

# ? May 9, 2023 13:31

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

i am a moron posted:

In your mind, what does �trolling your stick� mean

I'd rather not say :kiddo:

# ? May 9, 2023 13:34

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

Clocks posted:

I have self-esteem issues so I prefer to wear makeup. I think people who are confident about not wearing makeup are super cool.

makeup ain't doing poo poo for what I'm working with.

# ? May 9, 2023 14:20

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

AITA for getting into a fight with my boyfriend because he didn�t give my brother a ride home?

quote:

I�m (28f) my brother�s (16m) guardian due to lovely family circumstances. He has a part-time job at a restaurant. On weekdays, he works until 10pm. I pick him up from work on weekdays because I don�t want him taking the bus at that hour. We live in a big city and I worry about him being out at night by himself.

I went out of town for a few days for work. When I was gone, my boyfriend agreed to pick up my brother from work. He only had to pick him up once.

When I got back, I found out that he didn�t do it. He said that he forgot, despite me texting him twice that day to remind him. He went to hang out with his friends instead, so when my brother texted him to ask if was coming, he said that he couldn�t because he had been drinking. My brother took the bus instead.

I asked my boyfriend about it and he said it�s not his fault because he �just forgot�, and it doesn�t matter because nothing happened to my brother anyway. He�s said before that I�m overprotective of my brother. I disagree with that, but I digress. He didn�t apologize and instead said that I was being ridiculous.

My brother would probably be okay if he took the bus every night. But I would rather drive him around than roll the dice on that. The area that we live in isn�t exactly safe. And regardless, that�s not the point.

I asked him to do one thing while I was gone, which he agreed to and then reassured me that he would do. I don�t really believe that he actually forgot because he doesn�t generally forget to do things when I ask him to, but I suppose I can�t be certain of that.

We got into a fight about it. He said that I�m being irrational, but I don�t feel like I was wrong for being upset with him? But I want an outside perspective.

# ? May 9, 2023 14:35

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Boyfriend's jealous of the brother, weirdly common and gross.

# ? May 9, 2023 15:17

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

Batterypowered7 posted:

Psychosomatic?

# ? May 9, 2023 15:19

Bright Bart: Apr 27, 2020; False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

There is a point to be made that the look so many people of all genders and sexual orientations adore on women, but men often simply call "not wearing makeup", is a look that takes a fair bit of makeup to achieve.

Actually not wearing any makeup can make folks self-concious.

But this isn't someone who decided to forgo for the first time on this occasion and she isn't forcing anyone else to go one way or another.

Bright Bart fucked around with this message at 22:38 on May 9, 2023

# ? May 9, 2023 15:31

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# ? May 30, 2024 14:19

Pookah: Aug 21, 2008; 🪶Caw🪶

Bright Bart posted:

There is a point to be made that the look so many people of all genders and sexual orientations adore on women, but men often call simply "not wearing makeup", is a look that takes a fair bit of makeup to achieve.

Actually not wearing any makeup can make folks self-concious.

But this isn't someone who decided to forgo for the first time on this occasion and she isn't forcing anyone else to go one way or another.

This always comes to mind for me:

# ? May 9, 2023 15:39

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