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My contract clause will state that I can be beaten, but get to wear my sunglasses afterwards and get to repeat the line "I'mnot crying,YOUR crying!" at least twice.
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May 21, 2023 11:25
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Biplane posted:I made sure to include an identical clause in my waffle house employment contract, now I'm guaranteed a big payout.
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May 21, 2023 11:28
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My contract says I can only be in scenes shot where the lens caps still on when filming. My agent sucks. 
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May 21, 2023 11:28
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Chapter 2, section 3, paragraph 2A: all parties agree to refer to any and all blood that may appear as "victory wine"
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May 21, 2023 11:43
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Alhazred posted:About the only thing that people liked about Tokyo Drift was Han. But he dies in that movie. So in order to keep him in the franchise as long as possible, Fast&Furious 4-6 happens before Tokyo Drift. Yeah but then he comes back to life again anyway.
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May 21, 2023 12:51
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FreudianSlippers posted:Fred Williamson (star of Black Cæsar, Hell Up in Harlem, and Hammer) apparently had a similar clause in his contract in the 70s. If I remember correctly he said in Full Tilt Boogie (the documentary about the making of From Dusk Til Dawn) that he started to make his own movies to make sure he always won and always got the girl.
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May 21, 2023 13:24
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FreudianSlippers posted:Fred Williamson (star of Black Cæsar, Hell Up in Harlem, and Hammer) apparently had a similar clause in his contract in the 70s. That’s kinda ironic considering before become an actor, he was a football player, which is where his Hammer nickname originally came from. He was a defensive back for the Kansas City Chiefs and played in the first Super Bowl, claiming before the game that his “hammers” were going to knock a bunch of the Green Bay receivers. Not only did that very much not happen, but Williamson himself got hit in the head and knocked out and had to be carried off the field late in the blowout loss.
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May 21, 2023 13:29
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FFT posted:Brian O'Conner is also there just out of frame, laughing too with his kids that Mia apparently isn't too concerned about. Another character also turns out to be alive at the end of FasTen. Brian sitting out the last three adventures really doesn't work with how personal the attacks have been. Especially the most recent one where the bad guy wants to punish the people who stole his money and killed his dad but Brian is okay just "in a safe place." Also ever since Paul Walker died Dom has pretty much ceased being an actual character.
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May 21, 2023 16:21
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Alhazred posted:About the only thing that people liked about Tokyo Drift was Han. But he dies in that movie. So in order to keep him in the franchise as long as possible, Fast&Furious 4-6 happens before Tokyo Drift. Which means that because 4-6 include cars that only came out after Tokyo Drift, the franchise involves literal time travel.
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May 21, 2023 16:37
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I finally saw a full ad for the new Little Mermaid and I know it’s a tired complaint by now but it was legitimately jarring how washed out and faded everything looked. I was probably extra sensitive to it because I had been stoned as hell wandering around an art festival admiring colors all day, but also, if your movie looks boring to someone in that state, you’ve probably hosed up. The walls in my home are painted with more saturated, vibrant colors than there were in that ad.
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May 21, 2023 16:44
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Rockman Reserve posted:I finally saw a full ad for the new Little Mermaid and I know it’s a tired complaint by now but it was legitimately jarring how washed out and faded everything looked. I was probably extra sensitive to it because I had been stoned as hell wandering around an art festival admiring colors all day, but also, if your movie looks boring to someone in that state, you’ve probably hosed up. The walls in my home are painted with more saturated, vibrant colors than there were in that ad. I think some bonehead got the idea to make it look super realistic even though 1. No one asked for that 2. Most people have never been reef diving for comparison 3. It's a fantasy movie about mermaids and singing crabs not a documentary
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May 21, 2023 16:59
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maybealabia posted:I think some bonehead got the idea to make it look super realistic even though 4. Ava2ar came out just the other day, eating the little Mermaid's lunch before it even left the ocean.
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May 21, 2023 17:23
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My IIMM regarding the Mermaid movie is that the parts on land will very likely look lovely too but nobody will remark on it because their senses have been murdered by the underwater parts.
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May 21, 2023 17:26
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Biplane posted:Okay well first of all, Tokyo Drift is amazing. And second of all, holy poo poo. The Fast and the Furious : Tokyo Drift (2006) gave us Teriyaki Boyz' Tokyo Drift (Fast and Furious), and those first two bars are seared into the collective consciousness of an entire generation.
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May 21, 2023 17:27
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Phanatic posted:Which means that because 4-6 include cars that only came out after Tokyo Drift, the franchise involves literal time travel. Hear me out: Fast 11: The Past and the Furious Vin Diesel jumps his Roadrunner over a T-Rex, who's not buying a ticket for that?
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May 21, 2023 18:55
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maybealabia posted:I think some bonehead got the idea to make it look super realistic even though Also real life looks more vibrant and interesting than that
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May 21, 2023 19:32
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I very weirdly have the opposite IIMM and I'm personally getting super sick of the oversaturated candy colored skittle jizz movies that seem to have taken over. Like, I get that people got fatigued with 90s and early 2000s gray and gritty poo poo but maybe filmakers can just photograph things well instead? For all the hate he gets for sound mixing, Christopher Nolan movies look fantastic. Michael Bay might make ridiculous and stupid movies but his photography is top notch. And stuff like Top Gun Maverick looks insanely good. More stuff like that and less trips to candy land, por favor. Tbf, I could also just be really tired of bullshit "live action" movies that are nearly all CGI Phanatic posted:I watched 2. It was pretty. I haven't been able to get through 3. I've tried twice, and by the time they get to the scene with the dogs I'm just done with the tedium of it. I was thinking about this post a little bit and I actually have a similar issue with the Wick franchise in that the first one seemed, to me, to be playing with the tropes of action movies and male power fantasies. Like, the point of most action movies is that the hero is justified in doing unconscionable violence by some sort of plot contrivance, usually the death or threat of death of a loved one. In the first John Wick, he murders a thousand guys because of a dog. Yes, we all love dogs, they are the best but come on. The main villian is even incredulous about this premise. It seemed like the filmmakers were intentionally trying to find the lowest acceptable bar to justify righteous mass murder as a kind of a statement about the genre. But nope, I was wrong, and the premise is intentionally literal and straight-faced. Then they started going whole hog into some weird neo-fascist ultra conservative traditionalist honor cult world building in the sequals and hoo boy. But to your point, I don't think the filmmakers were considering that at all when writing those characters and scenes. They were probably just like "lol this guy sucks and is a coward" when they were writing it and the subtle depth was probably all Nyqvist. I don't know if you've ever seen stuff like the Corridor Crew youtube videos where they talk with stunt people but, uh, they aren't the deepest thinkers. Very talented at what they do but not who I would go to for subtle character work and the JW franchise is 100% stuntman movie for dudes that love stunts. Oh and IIMM about JW: why is he afraid of anyone? At several points in the films he is pretending like people have power over him but he is literally immortal and can kill an unlimited number of people effortlessly? Seems like there wouldn't be a lot of leverage you could have over a guy like that.
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May 21, 2023 19:39
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800peepee51doodoo posted:I very weirdly have the opposite IIMM and I'm personally getting super sick of the oversaturated candy colored skittle jizz movies that seem to have taken over. Like, I get that people got fatigued with 90s and early 2000s gray and gritty poo poo but maybe filmakers can just photograph things well instead? For all the hate he gets for sound mixing, Christopher Nolan movies look fantastic. Michael Bay might make ridiculous and stupid movies but his photography is top notch. And stuff like Top Gun Maverick looks insanely good. More stuff like that and less trips to candy land, por favor. 
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May 21, 2023 19:48
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800peepee51doodoo posted:Oh and IIMM about JW: why is he afraid of anyone? At several points in the films he is pretending like people have power over him but he is literally immortal and can kill an unlimited number of people effortlessly? Seems like there wouldn't be a lot of leverage you could have over a guy like that. Was John Wick your first action movie?
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May 21, 2023 19:57
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800peepee51doodoo posted:Oh and IIMM about JW: why is he afraid of anyone? At several points in the films he is pretending like people have power over him but he is literally immortal and can kill an unlimited number of people effortlessly? Seems like there wouldn't be a lot of leverage you could have over a guy like that.
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May 21, 2023 20:03
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Crowetron posted:Was John Wick your first action movie? Nah, its a trope in a lot of action movies, I get that. Its an IIMM because it makes any stakes evaporate. Better action films will usually try to demonstrate the hero is in danger, even if its illusory. I also understand that a lot of people don't care about that at all and just want to see the crazy stuntwork. That Italian Guy posted:He isn't really. At a certain point he plainly states "tell them that I'll just kill everyone they send" and that's just what he does. It's the High Table people that keep behaving like he isn't an invincible super murder man. He's on the run for almost the entirety of the third movie. He cuts off his own finger because a guy in a tent tells him too.
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May 21, 2023 20:20
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On of the things I liked about the first John Wick movie is that he isn't quite as invincible as in the later movies. He only prevails because the sniper hired to take him out switches sides and helps him instead. Both the hotel assassin and the Russians in the warehouse could have killed John Wick if his sniper buddy hadn't rescued him. The sniper himself could have taken him out on multiple occasions. John couldn't have won without help from a friend. I missed that aspect in the later movies where he is pretty much invincible. It also neatly answers the question of why people don't just hire a sniper to shoot John Wick. They already tried that.
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May 21, 2023 20:23
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800peepee51doodoo posted:Nah, its a trope in a lot of action movies, I get that. Its an IIMM because it makes any stakes evaporate. Better action films will usually try to demonstrate the hero is in danger, even if its illusory. I also understand that a lot of people don't care about that at all and just want to see the crazy stuntwork. I'm curious as to what your "better action films" than John Wick are, because honestly the first one is in my 10 ten action films of all time, and absolute top of the "retired assassin" subgenre. The sequels are nowhere near as good, and much sillier, but for me that doesnt detract from the original. Plus there is a place for silly over the top spectacle action film (although Crank is the reigning #1 of that particular subgenre)
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May 21, 2023 20:31
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800peepee51doodoo posted:He's on the run for almost the entirety of the third movie. He cuts off his own finger because a guy in a tent tells him too.
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May 21, 2023 20:59
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Jhwick 1 was the best imho because while it was absolutely all about showcasing all of the jaw-dropping batshit insane stunt spectacles the writers and directors had been cooking up for years, it was also, at it's heart, a story about one man coming to terms with grief. Call it a contrivance if you want, but more than one person I know who doesn't enjoy action films was able to get into it because it had very real and universal themes they could connect to. The sequels all seemed to downplay that into merely lip service in favor of its self-mythologizing and increasingly absurd, if awesome, set pieces. Still, I couldn't keep myself from shouting out "WAR DOGS!!" every time one of the puppers took a bite out of crime
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May 21, 2023 21:11
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SiKboy posted:I'm curious as to what your "better action films" than John Wick are, because honestly the first one is in my 10 ten action films of all time, and absolute top of the "retired assassin" subgenre. The sequels are nowhere near as good, and much sillier, but for me that doesnt detract from the original. Plus there is a place for silly over the top spectacle action film (although Crank is the reigning #1 of that particular subgenre) That's a fair question and I'll backpedal on the word "better". John Wick is exceptional at being the kind of action movie it is. Those kinds of spectacle action movies are probably more like musicals or like the old style Shaw Brothers kung fu movies, where the story, plotting, and characters are very much secondary to the choreography. I guess I was comparing JW to more "traditional" action movies like Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, Tombstone, etc and not being very clear about it.
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May 21, 2023 21:11
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John Wick is, for me, up there with Tropic Thunder. Best movies in their genres for their decade at the very least. The sequels to get silly and go down a rabbit hole but retain the crazy stunts charm.
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May 21, 2023 23:24
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FreudianSlippers posted:Guns and cars are inherently Cinematic. I get that and I enjoy it sometimes (Fury Road for example) but I never find that they can sustain an entire film. I appear to be in the minority with this opinion. I like action movies. Terminator 1 and 2, Die Hard, Fury Road, First Blood, Aliens, Saving Private Ryan, Star Wars, Raiders, Mission Impossible, Matrix, Escape From New York, Predator, Minority Report, Full Metal Jacket, The Warriors, Heat, etc. so I'm not down on the genre at all. BiggerBoat has a new favorite as of 23:43 on May 21, 2023 |
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May 21, 2023 23:34
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One of many reason the John Wick movies rule is that they know they are completely absurd but present it without ever having a character go "isn't this freaking crazy?!?!?" Everyone just stoically accepts that like a third of New York is involved in the criminal underworld and that tattooed rockabilly ladies are handling the logistics.
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May 21, 2023 23:37
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Honestly the biggest miss of the Wick movies was a prolonged homage to Fistfull of Dollars where he painstakingly pieces together a revolver, listing to the timing by ear, and then only shoots one guy with it.
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May 21, 2023 23:55
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I love that scene but yea it was wasted. I'd much rather have a Mexican standoff shoot-out with a revolver than some weird knife fight. Although the sub guys did make sure to include the crunch sound effect of that dude who got shanked in the eye. I appreciated that.
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May 22, 2023 00:02
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I will take back every bad thing I have said about Disney live action if they make a live action Pocahontas and make it follow the story/characters of the animated movie. I want Mel Gibson to play John Smith but that might be pushing it, sugar titties. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
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May 22, 2023 01:18
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I want to like John Wick but I can't get over how much the mooks stand just out of frame and wait their turn to hit him with their guns.
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May 22, 2023 01:51
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TheBlackVegetable posted:I want to like John Wick but I can't get over how much the mooks stand just out of frame and wait their turn to hit him with their guns. The High Table operates under Power Ranger rules
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May 22, 2023 01:55
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Me and my backup trying to kill Baba Yaga. They are just out of frame, shooting too.
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May 22, 2023 04:07
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TheBlackVegetable posted:I want to like John Wick but I can't get over how much the mooks stand just out of frame and wait their turn to hit him with their guns. Also the biggest issue with The Raid 2, bad guys casually queueing up to get silat'd to pieces Also why the toilet fight, the car fight and the kitchen fight were the best, cause they side stepped that contrivance
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May 22, 2023 06:29
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Paingod556 posted:Also the biggest issue with The Raid 2, bad guys casually queueing up to get silat'd to pieces I like that Rama does a lot in the warehouse fight to keep the masses away, but yeah. It's more a gesture and becomes funny when he throws some empty water bottles at five guys and that keeps them occupied until it's their turn.
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May 22, 2023 06:32
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My IIMM of Sisu is that there isn't more of it. ok, so my real IIMM is that plane he crashes in, yes with all the other crazy struff in the movie, thats the bit my suspension of disbelief failed to kick in
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May 22, 2023 08:46
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TheBlackVegetable posted:I want to like John Wick but I can't get over how much the mooks stand just out of frame and wait their turn to hit him with their guns. One thing with John Wick that maybe makes that slightly better is that all of the professionals wear those bullet proof suits. So the guys going after Wick probably have extra reason to try to get up close and personal for a perfect point blank shot, they would know that just shooting him a few times in the torso isn't gonna do anything.
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May 22, 2023 15:07
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SimonChris posted:On of the things I liked about the first John Wick movie is that he isn't quite as invincible as in the later movies. He only prevails because the sniper hired to take him out switches sides and helps him instead. Both the hotel assassin and the Russians in the warehouse could have killed John Wick if his sniper buddy hadn't rescued him. The sniper himself could have taken him out on multiple occasions. John couldn't have won without help from a friend. I missed that aspect in the later movies where he is pretty much invincible. It also neatly answers the question of why people don't just hire a sniper to shoot John Wick. They already tried that. But they have tried everything else too. By that logic they should try custard cream pies because everything else have failed.
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May 22, 2023 19:50
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