r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

the holy poopacy posted:

I can't imagine being close enough to a human being to trust them to watch my kid but not close enough that I wouldn't be shoveling food at them if they were struggling with food security.

The very fact that no one else in the family is at least trying to help and send food speaks quite a bit and it's nothing good to say. Seriously, how can you send your kid to a place knowing they don't have much food for themselves, and knowing your kid has a high appetite.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 17:44

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# ? May 31, 2024 02:58

B-Rock452: Jan 6, 2005

Kurieg posted:

AITA for calling my mom a pos?

How was she supposed to know?!? She broke the sacred decorum and failed to host thanksgiving, that's way more important than cancer.

Lol my sil/bil got pissed at my wife for not hosting Christmas a month after she had surgery for colon cancer. Shockingly we are not talking to them anymore

# ? Jul 25, 2023 18:03

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Cowslips Warren posted:

The very fact that no one else in the family is at least trying to help and send food speaks quite a bit and it's nothing good to say. Seriously, how can you send your kid to a place knowing they don't have much food for themselves, and knowing your kid has a high appetite.

And then being like 'how dare you shame my daughter' when she's done the child equivalent of eating the whole party sub.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 18:28

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

your kid stole the food from a bunch of other kids' mouths. do you:

a) apologize
b) pay for the food
c) apologize and pay for the food
d) use a flimsy excuse to blame the victims and avoid doing any of the above

if you picked d) then congratulations! you are a Class Act

# ? Jul 25, 2023 18:38

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Update to an older AITAH post, mostly notable for the spectacular own goal someone scores

Update: we�re getting a divorce

quote:

Many of you said that the arrangement we had before wasn�t working, and the children need us to step up and be good parents. And I agreed.

My husband however, wants me to do the childcare chores (school pickups and drop offs, laundry, making dinner, etc) but won�t let the kids call me mom (they�ve done it on accident and he�s yelled at them), he won�t let me adopt them, and I can�t discipline them (I can�t put them in timeout for bad behavior).

Basically, he wants me to do the chores to make his life easier while he�s their only real parent. I mentioned to him my concerns, that I don�t think it�s fair to them to deny them a mother when they obviously want one. I also don�t want to build a stronger emotional bond with children that I have no legal rights to. I couldn�t imagine that I become their full time caretaker and then we get divorced and I never get to see them again. That wouldn�t be fair to me or them. The woes of being a stepparent, I guess.

Despite all my concerns, he�s not budging. I�ve told him that in that case, I want a divorce. I contact a divorce attorney, that�s a personal friend, yesterday and I was advised to give him thirty days notice to move out. Before starting an eviction process. The house is mine from before we were married. My husband is mad because I�m the breadwinner, 200k vs 40k, and he can�t afford to house his children in the same school district and give them the same quality of life.

He wants me to give him my house �for the sake of the children�, yet I don�t think he�s ever cared that much about what�s best for them. I�m terribly sorry for the kids, that their mom died and their dad sucks as a parent. But I can�t resolve myself to be an unpaid babysitter for their sake. It�s obvious I wasn�t being viewed as an equal partner.

I think I�m done dating parents. My cat is done dealing with kids too.

Edit: guys he�s not getting alimony. I live in an anti-alimony state and we were married a year. We also have a prenup. I have a good lawyer, I don�t need the �oh he�s definitely getting alimony� comments.

My new wife makes five times what I do and wants to be a mom to my kids, I've basically won the single dad equivalent of the powerball, now what is the most spectacular way I can gently caress this up?

# ? Jul 25, 2023 18:39

blackmet: Aug 5, 2006; I believe there is a universal Truth to the process of doing things right (Not that I have any idea what that actually means).

FMguru posted:

Update to an older AITAH post, mostly notable for the spectacular own goal someone scores

Update: we’re getting a divorce

My new wife makes five times what I do and wants to be a mom to my kids, I've basically won the single dad equivalent of the powerball, now what is the most spectacular way I can gently caress this up?

I think she needs to shack up with this woman.

It comes from Care and Feeding posted:

Dear Care and Feeding,

Before my husband and I had our toddler, we had several conversations about expectations for child rearing (screentime, diet, babysitters, etc). These expectations were especially important to my husband, but I agreed they were sound ideas. I also understood that meeting these expectations would primarily fall to me, as I planned to be a stay-at-home mom and my husband’s job requires long hours. I’ve done my very best, but now that our son is 2 ½, it’s becoming apparent that I just can’t live up to some of our agreements.

In theory, would I prefer zero screen time? Yes. But in practice, I want to take a shower and 15 minutes of “Bluey” every day assures that my son isn’t wreaking havoc while I’m washing my hair. In theory, would it be great if my son’s babysitters were all close family members? Yes, but my parents’ plans to relocate to our city fell through and now we’re 600 miles from the nearest grandparents. My solution is that we need to hire a responsible college student once or twice a week; my husband’s solution is that, lacking family, we never hire babysitters at all.

He says that we “made promises,” and now I’m breaking them. But I feel like the promises were akin to me saying, “I’m so hungry I’ll definitely clean my plate tonight,” and then learning that the menu was a pile of Rocky Mountain Oysters. I just couldn’t fully grasp what I was getting into until I was sitting in front of a plate of bollocks. How much should I feel bound by our agreements? What do I say to my husband when he accuses me of going back on my word?

—Oathbreaker

Over/Under on how much time he spends with the kid?

# ? Jul 25, 2023 18:42

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

quote:

He wants me to give him my house �for the sake of the children�

lol

# ? Jul 25, 2023 18:44

AKA Pseudonym: May 16, 2004; A dashing and sophisticated young man; Doctor Rope

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for telling my SIL she's not allowed around my daughter again after she humiliated her over food?

added spacing

reddit is going with YTA and I have to agree. OP needs to pay back the cost of the food at least, though more would be better.

Maybe changing up her medication turned her into a braindead stomach with feet who can't help but inhale three days worth of food. OP still owes them for every bite she ate, even if they weren't relying on food pantries. The kid took food, you owe them for that food. Nothing hard about this.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 18:44

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

blackmet posted:

I think she needs to shack up with this woman.

Over/Under on how much time he spends with the kid?

No guesswork is involved to figure out how much time he spends with the kid, she literally doesn't have a chance to shower unless she uses the TV as a babysitter.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 18:47

Crocobile: Dec 2, 2006

FMguru posted:

Update to an older AITAH post, mostly notable for the spectacular own goal someone scores

Update: we�re getting a divorce

quote:
I think I�m done dating parents. My cat is done dealing with kids too.

I�m suddenly thinking of the guy from a couple days ago who didn�t want to disclose that he has kids to women he dates for at least a year.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 19:00

Akratic Method: Mar 9, 2013; It's going to pay off eventually--I'm sure of it.

Any day now.

BOOTY-ADE posted:

if it's such a problem then mom can step up to help.

but she doesn't have a poooooooool and my delightful spirited children need somewhere dangerous to horseplay in!

# ? Jul 25, 2023 19:18

dervival: Apr 23, 2014

Akratic Method posted:

my delightful spirited children need somewhere dangerous to horseplay in!

you have a kitchen don't you?

# ? Jul 25, 2023 19:20

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

blackmet posted:

I think she needs to shack up with this woman.

Over/Under on how much time he spends with the kid?

r/relationships: I just couldn�t fully grasp what I was getting into until I was sitting in front of a plate of bollocks

# ? Jul 25, 2023 19:32

Big Bowie Bonanza: Dec 30, 2007; please tell me where i can date this cute boy

Have you guys considered the starving children might have bad vibes or are unpleasant to be around and deserve to starve

# ? Jul 25, 2023 20:01

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Akratic Method posted:

but she doesn't have a poooooooool and my delightful spirited children need somewhere dangerous to horseplay in!

If I had a pool and people started expressing demands that they have the right to use it I think I'd fill it with gravel

# ? Jul 25, 2023 20:13

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

Pookah posted:

Poor Kate needs SO MUCH therapy
She's doing that thing where she's trying to defuse her (understandable) chronic anxiety about her kids' safety by 'feeding' it what it wants, and that will only ever make the anxiety get hungrier.

Thanks, this had replaced the idea of "liquid" and "solid" anxiety from comments on Captain Awkward as the best description of anxiety I've ever heard. Anxiety is a wendigo.

Also because I think a friend of mine is falling into this with her child and Covid (like, she won't let her kid go into the library when the kids' activity that day is moved indoors) and she's definitely feeding her anxiety instead of confronting it.

Dear Prudence gives actual good advice: (bolding mine)

quote:

Dear Prudence,

My cousins and their father (all of whom I�m very close with) had a giant fallout about a year ago. Since then, my cousins have gone into counseling, decided their father is a narcissist, and have completely cut off contact with him. While he can absolutely be bullheaded and a pain in the neck, I cannot say I have encountered any true narcissistic tendencies from my uncle. He brings treats and gets my kids on the bus with me at least once a week, comes to their school events, and generally enjoys spending time with them. I have been working on a few home improvement projects lately and he volunteers his time to come assist or teach me without me even having to ask.

My cousins say he has me completely fooled and are upset that I�m not supporting them, but I just don�t experience the behaviors they�re suggesting and am actually grateful that he is actively part of our lives. Am I being a terrible person for supporting my cousin�s �abuser�?

�Absolutely Befuddled

Dear Befuddled,

You�re focused too much on terminology here. After all, one person�s bullheaded pain in the neck is another person�s narcissistic abuser. It would take a professional to decide once and for all whether your uncle is diagnosable. But you don�t need that information to believe that whatever he did to lead both of his children to cut off contact with him was serious. And let�s be clear: He did something! As a general rule, children do not end their relationships with their parents without a really good reason. In this case, more than one has severed their ties.

So, open your mind and sit down with your cousins with the goal of getting the full picture of what their experience with their dad has been. Remind yourself that just because he�s done home improvement projects for you doesn�t mean he hasn�t seriously hurt them. I�m telling you to do this for yourself as much as for your cousins. Because family is important and if you have to pick sides here, you don�t want to end up isolated with the person who sounds unpleasant at best and possibly much worse.

I'm flashing back to the very dumb young woman who detailed all the ways her boyfriend was horrible and then said "But he's never treated me badly . . ."

# ? Jul 25, 2023 20:25

ad090: Oct 4, 2013; claws for alarm

AITA for letting my pregnant fianc� think I'm cheating on her?

quote:

My fianc� "Jen" is insecure right now, given that she's 32 weeks pregnant. I still think she's beautiful no matter what, but telling her that makes no difference. Now, for the past 6 years we have been basically inseparable. I actually enjoy her company, to a point of me not really enjoying going out without her. She's fun and she makes my night way better by having her around. We also are very open with communication and we aren't blind so we will 100% tell each other when we find someone else attractive. Well, given this detail, I may have hosed up a bit because I told Jen that I thought my buddies GF was gorgeous and had nice hips. This is NOT an uncommon comment- for the record. It was merely bad timing because she's pregnant and insecure. I shouldn't have said anything but again, we have always talked like this to each other so I just wasn't thinking (I mean just 2 months ago she pointed out some very attractive man and said he "has arms that could toss her around the bedroom" lol). Neither of us act on anything like this. It's all talk and sometimes leads to extra spicy time. That's all.

But anyways, I made the comment about my buddies GF and she agreed with me at first. But it soon fell apart.. see, I go to my buddies house quite often and she's always invited but she's been declining because of being uncomfortable (the baby is on her sciatic nerve) or saying she doesn't really wanna be around people because she feels gross. But she did go with me 2 days ago and I guess I let my eyes wander a bit and she noticed (I didn't notice). She asked me to bring her home and was being super quiet and when I get it out of her, she says "you told me she's gorgeous and has nice hips and then you guys eye gently caress each other in front of me". I asked what she was talking about and she openly said "are you loving her? Cause you're there a lot". So I said "don't be silly, of course not". I drop her off, she tells me to go have fun so I go back there. When I get home she was in bed, distant. I ask what's wrong and she said "you just left me here thinking you are cheating and go back to hang out with her with zero qualms." (She wasn't there when I got back) I said "you told me to go back and have fun babe, I didn't realize you were serious." She says "as if you didn't realize I was serious." And turns to go to bed. Now I'm feeling incredibly stupid but I don't even know what to say to her. It's tense in my house. AITA?

# ? Jul 25, 2023 20:35

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

she has nice hips? who the gently caress says that

# ? Jul 25, 2023 21:25

Tarkus: Aug 27, 2000

Foo Diddley posted:

she has nice hips? who the gently caress says that

I dunno, I notice nice hips on a woman. Is that a taboo now?

# ? Jul 25, 2023 21:26

dervival: Apr 23, 2014

is it your go-to compliment, though? that's the more egregious bit I think

# ? Jul 25, 2023 21:27

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

dervival posted:

is it your go-to compliment, though? that's the more egregious bit I think

What if the hips don't lie and you're appreciative of the honesty?

# ? Jul 25, 2023 21:28

dervival: Apr 23, 2014

then you say she has the hips of Abraham Lincoln, and say you're going to the theatre

# ? Jul 25, 2023 21:30

Tarkus: Aug 27, 2000

dervival posted:

is it your go-to compliment, though? that's the more egregious bit I think

If they're particularly nice, why wouldn't it be? Is it less egregious if the first thing to notice are the tits or rear end?

# ? Jul 25, 2023 21:31

darkwasthenight: Jan 7, 2011; GENE TRAITOR

Hips are just Side rear end and rear end is just Back Tiddies. There will be a short quiz at the end of class, thanks.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 21:36

TaurusTorus: Mar 27, 2010; Grab the bullshit by the horns

darkwasthenight posted:

Hips are just Side rear end and rear end is just Back Tiddies. There will be a short quiz at the end of class, thanks.

Sorry, my fat folds are Back Titties, revise your quiz accordingly

# ? Jul 25, 2023 21:44

sullat: Jan 9, 2012

the holy poopacy posted:

they love with all of their hearts, and also all of their fists

They're 5 so probably with all their teeth and feet as well.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 21:51

ReelBigLizard: Feb 27, 2003; Fallen Rib

My wife and I point out nice bums to each other (covertly). We just both enjoy a nice bum.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 21:52

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Two guards stand before you. One prefers titties, the other prefers butts. You may ask one question.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 21:58

Benagain: Oct 10, 2007; Can you see that I am serious?; Fun Shoe

Batterypowered7 posted:

Two guards stand before you. One prefers titties, the other prefers butts. You may ask one question.

what's the password for the secret menu at taco bell

# ? Jul 25, 2023 21:59

MK-Ultramarathon: Aug 12, 2009

Yeah I notice nice hips. I think it's just down to what you're into.

That said, they both sound kind of insufferable, he sounds dumb but she's also doing that thing where she's trying to get him to just read her mind, and the whole "inseparable for six years" thing is kind of a red flag, I think. Not that you aren't allowed to enjoy your partner's company, obviously they should be someone you want to spend a lot of time with, but I think both people get really weird if you spend like every waking moment in each other's presence.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 22:00

quantumwell: Jun 22, 2013

Foo Diddley posted:

lol

Has there ever been an example of a ne'er do well Husband/Boyfriend with a high-earning wife that doesn't screw up his relationship and end up on the street ?

# ? Jul 25, 2023 22:05

quantumwell: Jun 22, 2013

Batterypowered7 posted:

Two guards stand before you. One prefers titties, the other prefers butts. You may ask one question.

Where the white wimmen at ?

# ? Jul 25, 2023 22:06

Clocks: Oct 2, 2007

I had a (female) friend once tell me I had "nice, childbearing hips" which I did not find complimentary.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 22:09

Silly Newbie: Jul 25, 2007; How do I?

quantumwell posted:

Has there ever been an example of a ne'er do well Husband/Boyfriend with a high-earning wife that doesn't screw up his relationship and end up on the street ?

Plenty, my stepfather is one. You just don't hear about them because they're too busy enjoying their fantastic life to create loud drama by blowing it up.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 22:26

Irisi: Feb 18, 2009

Clocks posted:

I had a (female) friend once tell me I had "nice, childbearing hips" which I did not find complimentary.

I got set up on a date with a bloke who told me I had "an excellent waist to hip ratio", and then proceeded to tell me all about how you should measure it, and what the World Health Organisation thinks is a good ratio for a woman (he knew it down to 2 decimal places) and what kind of measuring tape you should use, and the exact points of the body you should measure on, and why it was better for someone else to measure your body for you...

He did not get a second date, and the person who set me up on the date got a stern talking to.

# ? Jul 25, 2023 22:29

Clocks: Oct 2, 2007

Here's an rear end in a top hat to an extreme degree:

AITA for not wanting to sell part of our property to my BIL who is only supposed to be staying with us temporarily?

quote:

Me (35F) and my husband (33M) have four kids (5F, 3F, 1M, 1M) and im a stay at home mom and after the youngest two were born i told my husband how much i was struggling looking after the kids and looking after the house. He said hed be fine with getting someone to help, and asked me if i would want someone to look after the kids for me or for someone to look after the house for me.

I wanted as much time with my kids as possible and didn't want someone else filling in the parent role so I asked him to hire someone to look after the house so he did. We went through a few different people before we found the perfect person, his younger brother. He's a sweet kid (21M) and our kids love him and I feel comfortable with him around and we don't argue like some of the other maids and housekeepers we tried.

When he first moved in my husband gave him one of our guest rooms with an ensuite and that seemed to be fine until now apparently.

On our property there is a lovely small cottage, it's about a 20 minute walk from the main house. I've always loved this little cottage and have dreamt of living there when we give the kids the house when they are older. Well since he's been living/working here for a year my husband thought it would be a good idea to sell him the small cottage and a little bit of land around it.

His reasoning was that just a guest room wasn't really enough privacy and that we don't really use the cottage at all and he just wanted to sell it to his brother. And by sell he means sell for way less than its worth.

I immediately said no, that I don't want his brother to have the cottage, how unfair he just gets to give it away to someone, especially someone who was only supposed to live here temporarily. He told me that 4 years (how long we planned to have him around) wasn't temporary (it is) and that it was his property that he was given by his grandmother before he even met me. I told him that it's unfair for him to lorde this over me and that I should get a say in what happens in our home.

I then threatened to tell his family what he's doing (his family doesn't like his brother and would hate to know he was getting part of grandma�s house) he yelled at me and called me petty and spiteful. I'm not talking to him until he apologizes and agrees not to sell the cottage. He obviously thinks I'm a TA and I don't think I am. He's making choices about our house without consulting me and ignoring my input, and holding the fact that he owns our house over my head, so AITA?

People ask for context about the BIL being disowned,

OP posted:

he was the product of my husband's dad's affair, which is why their grandmother left him nothing, plus he was like 10 when she passed. then he came out as a teenage which caused most of his family to disown him

bonus posted:

his lack of family support isn't my fault, i feel bad for him but i dont think i should give up part of my home perminatly

# ? Jul 25, 2023 22:42

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

quote:

INFO: Do you actually legally have any ownership over this cottage?

OP posted:

not me personally, it belongs to my husband, the whole property does. his grandmother left it to him in his will, its been in his family for generations.

"our property", huh

# ? Jul 25, 2023 22:52