r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I live in NYC and I can’t count how many times I’ve had to explain that trains covered in graffiti hasn’t been a thing in thirty years.

Maybe your city should invest in the arts, used to be a place artists and people wanted to go and see but if the place can't attract even street art anymore might as well go to Austin or something.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 15:38

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# ? May 14, 2024 18:42

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Can't post for 6 hours!; Toilet Rascal

Oh there's lots of graffiti on stationary things

# ? Aug 30, 2023 15:40

The Diddler: Jun 22, 2006

StrangersInTheNight posted:

Wait what, you're expecting 5th graders to have internalized keeping period products on hand when they've likely only just begun menstruating in the recent past, and that if they forget to have menstrual products on-hand, it's some sort of metric for not being mentored at home?

Yes, actually, a child not being provided sanitary or medical equipment might not be tended to properly at home. That's why you let people who are well versed in that sort of thing make that distinction.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 15:51

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for choosing money over a friendship?

quote:
I feel tired of her behaviour and how she's acting after I was by her side even when her own family went nc with her

Imagine being that much of an entitled rear end in a top hat that your family's like "nah, we out"

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for NEVER wanting to babysit this family again

Kid, your mom is on your side & "no" is a complete sentence. Neighbor can get hosed for pulling that stunt.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 15:51

redgubbinz: May 1, 2007

Don't forget that most of urban North America looks like this, and walking two blocks is absolutely miserable or even dangerous.

That said, even if he lives in Salt Lake City two city blocks is a little over 1/4 mile and if you can't handle that...

# ? Aug 30, 2023 15:55

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Bah
e:
AITA for calling my SIL an attention whore after she announced her pregnancy

quote:

Disclaimer: this is my first time using Reddit after a friend recommended it to me so please bear w me if I don't know all the correct language!

About a week ago, me (24f), my brother Jack (26m), my dad, and some other close family members went on a trip to Tunisia, where my mother, who died in a car accident about two years ago, was from to discover a little more about her life and our ancestors. On this trip, my brother decided to bring his wife, Julie (26f) and I brought my husband. Up till now, I had not had any issues with Julie as I don't know her very well (she and my brother met and got married during COVID and live quite far so I had only seen her 2 or 3 times before this trip). So, the incident occurred on the second to last day of the trip when we all went out to dinner. I think that it is important to note that this whole trip was to remember and celebrate my mother (she died around the beginning of COVID where I live so we didn't get a proper funeral for her), and the day we went out to dinner was her birthday.

At the beginning of the dinner, my dad said a short speech basically thanking everyone for coming and honouring my mother's life. Before he even got the chance to sit down, Julie stood up and announced that her and Jack are expecting a baby! The entire table went silent, with only a few quiet congratulations. Instead of reading the room and sitting back down, Julie ran up to me with a big obnoxious grin and asked me if I was excited to be an auntie. I stayed silent, trying not to ruin what was the left of this trainwreck of a dinner and she said that she was just trying to lighten the mood with some good news. This is when I cracked and yelled at her that she wasn't trying to benefit anyone but herself and that she was a selfish attention whore. I walked out, followed by my husband and then my dad. From what I gather, the dinner was pretty much ruined after that and the whole family had left before they ordered any food. Now, I do understand that she could have seen it as was a good opportunity as the entire family was all together, but after talking with my brother I found out that they had known for a month before the trip so they could easily have announced it before. My dad is staying neutral on this and my brother is angry at me for 'embarrassing' his wife but understands my point of view. Some family members and Julie's mom are now calling me a bitch over text for ruining an important moment for her. So, am I the rear end in a top hat?

Kurieg fucked around with this message at 16:10 on Aug 30, 2023

# ? Aug 30, 2023 16:02

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Kurieg posted:

AITA for �screwing over� my sister by immediately quitting babysitting for her?

Amazing how she found the doll the minute she actually started looking for it but doesn't want to apologize.

It is Wednesday my dude.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 16:04

vonnegutt: Aug 7, 2006; Hobocamp.

a podcast for cats posted:

There was a r/boru update a few months back about a famously unhinged post where the OP posted again a year or so later and pretty much said: "my bad, i was on some designer meth back then, it was kind of a low point". That post read a lot like this one.

I love that post, so I found it again:

I Can't Believe It

quote:

I come to DC for a couple weeks of education, culture, and fun. The museums and food are fantastic. But the city is so miserable and grim, everyone is so exhausting to look at, so I try my chances at a club. Nobody is dressed hot, and everyone has uneven lips and fat shoulders that broaden their face and long torsos and dry elbows with nary a clue that they look like that. The fact that I saw Chelsea boots on a woman, a woman who I presume is college-educated and aware it is the year 2022, a woman who was wearing stone washed boot cut high rise jeans as well, like some sort of time traveler with her notes mixed up, made me so profoundly distressed that I had to go back to my hotel and rest. Additionally, I have never been in a club where people are so grimly determined to look like they're having fun. Where is the sprezzatura? Must you all look so pained?

So, on the next weekend I try to find a club for beautiful people that also played good house music. I was feeling depressed, and that always makes me feel better. I get both in abundance in my city, and DC is large, wealthy, and educated. It cannot be that difficult. I have no friends here, none of my college friends even are the type to live in such a place, and now I understand why. As such, Instagram is useless in finding answers for that, and too many of you butterfaced freaks are on Twitter. So, I turn to Reddit. Surely there's hot people, maybe even hot men, that use this site once in a while and can give me a good answer, but no. I get rude and ungrateful ugly people mouthing me off! And the ones that did give me legitimate advice were hounded for doing so. Is this how a city of what I thought were the well-educated, well-mannered class of the United States treats its visitors?

Are you unable to look in the mirror and realize that this city is full of genetically unfortunate people apparently too poor to buy beauty, including most of yourselves? Even gently botched plastic surgery suggests an attempt was made to try, and that counts in my books. There's nothing inherently wrong with being ugly or unfashionable, but be honest about it, humble yourselves in the presence of the gifted, and provide more spaces for attractive people to hang out and have a good time in places that make them feel good about being beautiful. Not to mention, you all look in the mirror and feel good? I would never leave my house if I looked like half of you. There's no demand for self-improvement and discipline, and no culture that emphasizes beauty as a goal for its own sake. A lack of vision for hot people will eventually kill your city. I regret coming here, and I cannot believe that I spent the money to do as such. Good riddance.

And the update:

quote:

oh my god this is me. i was addicted to designer amphetamines and completely delusional at the time of writing this. i had lost forty pounds and thought i was hot poo poo. i thought i was the reincarnation of Kurt Vonnegut. this was serious, and my friends laughed when they saw this go viral on twitter. it made me realize i had issues and im sober now. im also shocked i managed to stay employed at that time. To answer your question [note: the screenshots were posted with the caption "Is this person NYC or LA? Place your bets"]: im from LA but I grew up all around. I was living between Baltimore and NYC at the time. My mom is a beautiful Italian woman (Milan by way of Bolzano) and my dad is an insufferable Mexican from Montreal.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 16:11

Cacator: Aug 6, 2005; You're quite good at turning me on.

r/relationships: Where is the sprezzatura? Must you all look so pained?

# ? Aug 30, 2023 16:41

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

That one�s just loaded with potential titles but I liked these two

r/relationships: this city is full of genetically unfortunate people apparently too poor to buy beauty

r/relationships: A lack of vision for hot people will eventually kill your city

# ? Aug 30, 2023 16:49

tater_salad: Sep 15, 2007

I dunno if self posting is allowed or not but I want you all to hear my story.

MY WIFE dared to be AT WORK while I was trying to get my yearly state inspection on my vehicle. The place was backed up even though I had an appointment. I was just FORCED to walk 3-4 blocks home from the location because they wont' be done prior to my next phone call for work. When she gets home she is going to really get laid in to for not being here and forcing me to walk all that distance.. AITA?

# ? Aug 30, 2023 16:52

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

The Diddler posted:

Yes, actually, a child not being provided sanitary or medical equipment might not be tended to properly at home. That's why you let people who are well versed in that sort of thing make that distinction.

Maybe if it kept happening, but once? The first time, every time? How do you know they're not being provided at home, and just didn't forget it that day? It just feels like the exact right recipe to stigmatize menstruation as a hyper-individualised personal medical issue which is embarassing and should be hidden, when it's actually a social medical issue that those who menstruate and their allies share the burden with each other on.

but whatever I'm not a teacher. I'd just suggest approaching it less like 'SEND THEE CHILD AWAY TO THEE MENSTRUATION SHACK' about it if you're able

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 16:57 on Aug 30, 2023

# ? Aug 30, 2023 16:54

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

AITA for sticking for my daughter despite pressure from my sister and family?

quote:

My (F38) daughter (18) recently moved to Montreal (from London) to attend Uni. Also, my sister (42) lives there, ideal as she was happy to host my daughter during her studies.

Daughter (F) is usually very quiet and reserved & can happily spend the whole day in her bedroom.

My sister is single and works from home and she was eager to get some company although I did warn her that my daughter is more of an introvert so maybe not to get her expectations too high.

F arrived in Montreal, last Tuesday, after an 8 hrs flight and 4 further spent in immigration queues. She was exhausted but waited for another 2 hours at the airport for her aunt to pick her up so by the time they arrived home, she immediately went to bed.

The day after, they moved to a 2 bed apartment. I asked my sister to do this before F arrived or later to give her time to recover from the trip which she declined explaining that this was the perfect time for her as her only downtime at work.

Apparently, movers came late, cleaners did not show, so F was tasked with cleaning the entire place by herself.

I thought that would be the end of the issues, but I started getting complaints since then daily: F spends most of her time in her bedroom. F did not want any help getting her social security number (she was already told by the uni how to apply for it versus the fact that my sister wanted to make the application on her behalf). F was not cleaning unless asked, Not getting up on time & did not immediately showering. F only answers in yes and no, instead of full sentences (bearing in mind that she understands French, sister's main language, but she is not fluent so sometimes finds it hard to give more details).

After several calls from my mother, as my sister has been venting to her, I called my sister yesterday to clear the air and explain to her that what she sees as rudeness and insolence, is not necessarily the case. Whilst speaking to her I also told her that I understood if she found it too hard to cohabitate with F, so we would be more than happy to just move F to a dorm room instead.

Apparently, that was a despicable thing for me to say and showed how ungrateful we are after all the sacrifices she made to accommodate F. I thought she was complaining about the extra rent payments incurred & offered to make up for it until she could move but that only made the situation worse.

She started cursing us and I must admit that at that point, I lost my cool and really went in on her nonsense and excessively high standards. She told us that F had 48 hours to get out or she would kick her out.

We promptly got her a dorm room, F is moving out today. Since then, family members have been calling me claiming that I should have made F try harder to integrate rather than moving her out.

Her dad and I truly believe that the atmosphere was too toxic so we made the right decision but due to all the calls, part of me wonders if we are in the wrong.

op posted:

Just to clarify, she wanted her to wake up at 7, no later than 8am. Immediately shower then clean the bathroom, mop and hoover the whole place. I thought this was quite a rigid schedule to enforce and how would this work once lectures started?

quote:

NTA! The calls prove you made the right decision. Did you tell all the family members your sister gave F 48 hours to get out or she would kick her out?

op posted:

Yes of course I told them that but she denied it. The messed up thing is they believe her because she is older than me so I must be the one lying...

# ? Aug 30, 2023 16:55

Volcano: Apr 10, 2008

Cacator posted:

r/relationships: Where is the sprezzatura? Must you all look so pained?

Maybe I'm just easily amused but I've been laughing about this line for the last five minutes

StrangersInTheNight posted:

Maybe if it kept happening, but once? The first time, every time? How do you know they're not being provided at home, and just didn't forget it that day? It just feels like the exact right recipe to stigmatize menstruation as a hyper-individualised personal medical issue which is embarassing and should be hidden, when it's actually a social medical issue that those who menstruate and their allies share the burden with each other on.

but whatever I'm not a teacher. I'd just suggest approaching it less like 'SEND THEE CHILD AWAY TO THEE MENSTRUATION SHACK' about it if you're able

5th grade is also on the early side for a first period. It does not seem reasonable to me to expect a 10-year-old to be carrying a pad around at all times for something that may not even happen for another 5 years. The parent was being an rear end but I don't think the girl not having a pad on her is a sign that they're neglectful.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 17:03

The Diddler: Jun 22, 2006

StrangersInTheNight posted:

Maybe if it kept happening, but once? The first time, every time? How do you know they're not being provided at home, and just didn't forget it that day? It just feels like the exact right recipe to stigmatize menstruation as a hyper-individualised personal medical issue which is embarassing and should be hidden, when it's actually a social medical issue that those who menstruate and their allies share the burden with each other on.

but whatever I'm not a teacher. I'd just suggest approaching it less like 'SEND THEE CHILD AWAY TO THEE MENSTRUATION SHACK' about it if you're able

You're not from the US, are you? Teachers here are mandatory reporters, failure to notice and report abuse can cost you your career. Also, being overly friendly with children can cost you your career if you're a guy because "only groomers take care of kids" or whatever right-wing nonsense is currently infecting rural America. It could be better for the child if teachers were allowed to be real humans, but as a society we've decided against that.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 17:05

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

post/av combo not doing anyone any favors here

# ? Aug 30, 2023 17:06

Wintermutant: Oct 2, 2009; Dinosaur Gum

vonnegutt posted:

My mom is a beautiful Italian woman (Milan by way of Bolzano) and my dad is an insufferable Mexican from Montreal.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 17:07

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

StrangersInTheNight posted:

Maybe if it kept happening, but once? The first time, every time? How do you know they're not being provided at home, and just didn't forget it that day? It just feels like the exact right recipe to stigmatize menstruation as a hyper-individualised personal medical issue which is embarassing and should be hidden, when it's actually a social medical issue that those who menstruate and their allies share the burden with each other on.

but whatever I'm not a teacher. I'd just suggest approaching it less like 'SEND THEE CHILD AWAY TO THEE MENSTRUATION SHACK' about it if you're able

I think the point is that the teacher just can't know. Maybe it's no big deal and someone forgot, or maybe there are specific medical and/or social issues that need to be addressed. The school has a medical professional to identify and deal with the medical issues, and this person will also generally be better equipped and have the privacy to address the social ones. Unless the nurse has a backlog it seems perfectly appropriate to just direct anything medical in that direction, even a well meaning teacher could miss signs of a more serious medical problem or not even know what to look for in the first place. It shouldn't be stigmatizing to get a child to the most appropriate adult resource available.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 17:08

vonnegutt: Aug 7, 2006; Hobocamp.

Volcano posted:

Maybe I'm just easily amused but I've been laughing about this line for the last five minutes

5th grade is also on the early side for a first period. It does not seem reasonable to me to expect a 10-year-old to be carrying a pad around at all times for something that may not even happen for another 5 years. The parent was being an rear end but I don't think the girl not having a pad on her is a sign that they're neglectful.

The age of first period has been dropping for decades, it's currently 12.4, so a 10 year old is absolutely reasonable.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 17:08

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Its reasonable that they'd be menstruating at that age, but not that they'd be good at the rigamarole of preparing and living through the monthly cycle. It takes practice to remember to prep.

I kinda bristle at the whole 'medical' angle tbh, like yeah it's technically medical but also painting it as as only appropriate in a medical context causes lots of issues with menstruating people and their relationships with menstruation, yeah. Mentruation is just a thing that happens, like pooping and peeing, and its fine to tell the teacher when you need to pee, so it should be just as fine to say you need a pad.

I get why it has to happen because of how hosed up our country is with expectations of teachers but yeeting it out to the medical professionals doesn't help when menstruating people are conversely working hard at trying to make it more of a normal everyday thing.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 17:16

ChickenDoodle: Oct 22, 2020

Hughlander posted:

My husband doesnt want to have intimacy with me unless it is to conceive kids

UPDATE:

Is it anti-christian to have any physical contact with your wife?

Organized religion, loving up people's heads since Anno Mundi 0.

I want to say it was cause of that Hasidic Jew thread in Ask/Tell that I learned Hasidic Jewish men can be absolutely terrified of sex once they get married, so honestly I can see this being a thing. Glad he�s going to seek help though! Nobody should be terrified of being attracted to their SO.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 17:16

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

tater_salad posted:

I dunno if self posting is allowed or not but I want you all to hear my story.

MY WIFE dared to be AT WORK while I was trying to get my yearly state inspection on my vehicle. The place was backed up even though I had an appointment. I was just FORCED to walk 3-4 blocks home from the location because they wont' be done prior to my next phone call for work. When she gets home she is going to really get laid in to for not being here and forcing me to walk all that distance.. AITA?

INFO: Did you do the Borat Voice when you referred to your wife?

# ? Aug 30, 2023 17:17

Cacator: Aug 6, 2005; You're quite good at turning me on.

Volcano posted:

Maybe I'm just easily amused but I've been laughing about this line for the last five minutes

Grazie mille to whomever changed the thread title. Much like "get beefy bitch", this one is going to live rent free in my head.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 17:20

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I change the titles which is why I like to see people suggest new ones here in the thread.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 17:22

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Kurieg posted:

F did not want any help getting her social security number (she was already told by the uni how to apply for it versus the fact that my sister wanted to make the application on her behalf)

Sounds like sister is mostly angry that her planned identity theft was foiled.

Cacator posted:

Grazie mille to whomever changed the thread title. Much like "get beefy bitch", this one is going to live rent free in my head.

"Stay cramped, bitch" is an all-timer, too.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 17:26

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Haven't a lot of schools stopped having nurses on site? Yup. As of 2015, only 52% of schools have a full-time nurse on site, and the numbers have been dropping further since then. A total of 82% had either a full-time or a part-time nurse. "Part-time" could mean anything from "every afternoon" to "once a week". So "send the kid to the nurse" may or may not be an option, sadly.

I get that The Diddler is (rightly) concerned about being accused by parents because male, but I also think that a woman teacher who already has pads on hand is justified in replying "Sure, here's a pad" to a kid who asks about pads. 5th grade isn't actually early to be starting periods nowadays; anything between ages 10-15 is considered normal. However, this parent is angry about the teacher's having handed over a pad, which is frankly nutso. Whether or not the mother had told the child about menstruation, the child is bleeding right now and needs a pad.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 17:52

Pope Hilarius II: Nov 10, 2008

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I change the titles which is why I like to see people suggest new ones here in the thread.

Thank you for your service, colleague

# ? Aug 30, 2023 18:00

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Calling comic thread goons! Someone get Little My...

AITA for reading a book to my son?

quote:

So I(33F) and my husband(34M) had an argument about the book I read to our 7 year old son. I'm using a throwaway account because I don't like posting on my main.

The book I read to him is called "Moominland Midwinter" it is a book by finnish writer and illustrator, Tove Jansson. I was born and raised in Finland, I grew up with the Moomins and I really want it to be part of my son's life too. But when my husband found out about it, he got really mad.

He said that "the illustrations were too scary for kids" and that he had done some research on Tove Jansson and found out she was queer. I asked him what was wrong with being queer and he said "Nothing is wrong with being queer, but people should stop showing things made by queer people to kids".

I got really mad at him for saying something like that, I felt that it was very homophobic for him to say. So I got mad at him and we had a big argument. I told him that I wanted our son to be more connected with the finnish culture and heritage, and that the Moomins are a big part of it.

He told me that he "doesn't care" and that he would not allow it since the finnish culture would "turn him into a homosexual". When he said that I exploded and kicked him out of the apartment, I told him he's not allowed to come back until I've sorted my feelings out and that he could stay with his parents in the meantime.

I feel so confused and angry at him, he has never said anything like that in the 11 years we've dated and I'm starting to wonder if I married someone that has put on a fake personality of some sort. This all happened yesterday and I haven't talked to him since, I told one of my friends about it and she said that I overreacted and it isn't that serious.

So now I'm here to ask, am I the rear end in a top hat?

# ? Aug 30, 2023 19:03

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

OP, escalate to Tom of Finland.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 19:08

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

Some good comments on these letters.

quote:

Dear Care and Feeding,

How do you become a MIL people will like? I�m a mom to two young boys and they are my everything right now. I know this will change as they get older and become more independent. One day, they may even find a partner, get married, and have kids. (Yay!) However, I�m low-key dreading the day I become the MIL, because countless questions on message boards and advice columns are about how much everyone hates their MIL. It�s almost like the MIL is not allowed to be a real person with lived experience; a MIL is to be seen and not heard; a MIL should take up as little physical space as possible or live as far away as possible. The MIL is always too nosey, too opinionated, too loud, too generous, too self-absorbed, etc. I mean, why can�t the MIL just be a human being that deserves love, flaws and all? Sometimes it is warranted and there was real trauma. But many other times I read a post that is complaining about unsolicited advice (you mean trying to be helpful based on what worked for them?), or giving gifts the writer hates (you mean the MIL should have only bought something off an Amazon wish list?), etc.

Many times, I get the feeling that the writer�s own parents or friends could have committed the same sin, yet not have gotten any flack for it. So, are MIL�s supposed to just suck up and have zero opinions? To take direct orders and have zero free agency? On a side note, I have a MIL and I like her a lot. I have a mom that I love. They both take great care of my sons. Sure, they both do things differently than me, but I think my kids benefit from interacting with people with different experiences, rules, and opinions in their lives. I feel like our relationship is a unicorn because many of my friends also do not get along with their MILs or even their own mothers. Help me avoid this fate!

Comment posted:

MIL worries: one of the reasons why MILs are so often disliked is because a lot of moms have difficulty with the transition from seeing their kids as, well, kids, into seeing them as Real Whole Adult Humans. Obviously there's a spectrum on this, ranging from mild to fully pathologic, but most of the moms I've talked to have expressed something along the lines of "you may grow up but you'll always be my baby!"

This unconditional affection, unfortunately, also comes with some unconditional entitlement. You feel entitled to offer advice on every situation, meddle in their lives, not ask permission before doing things for them, ignore or cross boundaries, and otherwise do things that you would never dream of doing to a fellow adult friend you were on equal footing with. Because they're your kid, and it was OK when they were small! And they let you get away with it, because you're their parent and they grew up with you!

The problem is -- they get married, and you are NOT the new spouse's parent. And the spouse does NOT want to be treated like a forever-baby. The spouse wants to be treated like a real whole adult human. Which leads to conflict: either your darling beloved child is now caught between a rock and a hard place mediating conflict between you and the spouse, or they also realize they would like to be treated like an adult now, thanks, and start setting boundaries that feel unreasonable to you. And you obviously blame the spouse, because they're the one who incited the conflict -- and there you go. Boom. Perfect MIL hate-spiral.

The best way to avert this is to practice hearing and respecting your adult kid's boundaries before they get married. Practice, practice, practice. Let them gently caress up (within reason). Bite your tongue. Refrain from offering advice until asked for it. Treat them, in short, as you would treat a fellow adult.

And from the Ask A Manager person writing at Slate:

quote:

�My interviewer said she looked forward to talking soon. Is that a sign I�m getting the job?�

�My job interview seemed to go great � but then they said they�d get back to me even if I don�t get the job. Is that a bad sign?�

�They said they were looking for someone with more experience � should I not have even applied in the first place?�

Job searching is so anxiety-producing that it drives otherwise reasonable people to seek � and convince themselves they�ve found � hidden meaning in the most mundane of communications with employers. We�re used to seeing this type of over-analysis in other areas of life, like dating (�when he said he likes kids, was he signaling that he wants to settle down quickly?�), but the pressure of job-seeking brings out some of the worst.

At Slate today, I wrote about how people parse the words of every communication from employers, trying to ferret out signs about their chances � and why it�s more harmful than helpful to them. You can read it here.

Comment posted:

A big mistake people make in many situations, including the job search process, is viewing themselves as far more important than they really are. A candidate is usually one of many, and the company has a process. They are busy people, and they are sending candidates form emails to cover their butts and to categorize candidates properly for follow up or not. They aren�t crafting wink-wink emails with hidden meanings tailored to an individual candidate who they really like or really hate.

A lot of patrons have been trying to follow up on jobs they've applied for recently so this was a timely one.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 19:08

Coca Koala: Nov 28, 2005; ongoing nowhere; College Slice

I cannot believe that there is a person in this world who hates the moomins. What an utterly joyless existence that must be.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 19:08

Ensign Expendable: Nov 11, 2008; Lager beer is proof that god loves us; Pillbug

Lmao why even marry a guy who doesn't like Moomins?

# ? Aug 30, 2023 19:10

Ominous Jazz: Jun 15, 2011; Big D is chillin' over here
Wasteland style

Cowslips Warren posted:

Calling comic thread goons! Someone get Little My...

AITA for reading a book to my son?

How does something like this sneak by you in all the time before you had a kid

# ? Aug 30, 2023 19:13

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

trickybiscuits posted:

Some good comments on these letters.

quote:
about being a MIL

Jesus Christ, she�s not even a MIL yet and she�s already a nightmare MIL

# ? Aug 30, 2023 19:16

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Pope Hilarius II posted:

Thank you for your service, colleague

I've always known this thread was a filthy papist conspiracy.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 19:22

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Bubblyblubber posted:

I've always known this thread was a filthy papist conspiracy.

How can two popes be active colleagues? And on good terms?

# ? Aug 30, 2023 19:27

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

kimbo305 posted:

How can two popes be active colleagues? And on good terms?

conspiracy

# ? Aug 30, 2023 19:29

The Alchemist: Dec 12, 2010

kimbo305 posted:

How can two popes be active colleagues? And on good terms?

You haven't obviously read the same conspiracy theories as I have

# ? Aug 30, 2023 19:29

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Ensign Expendable posted:

Lmao why even marry a guy who doesn't like Moomins?

She didn't know he was that guy. Or That Guy.

I would hope that Little My bites his ankle, except that she deserves somebody tastier.

# ? Aug 30, 2023 19:30

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 14, 2024 18:42

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for ending my childcare agreement with my sister because I don't want to care for her future stepkids who I never met?

quote:

I (27f) am a stay at home mom to my two little boys ages 5 and 1. I also take care of my sister's two children ages 8 and 6 after school and during summer break. She sends snacks for all the kids and pays me a small amount of money. I never asked for a lot because it was never a big deal to me and I enjoy seeing my niece and nephew. But now things have changed. My sister is engaged and her future husband lives out of state with his two children. My sister already told me they were hoping I would take care of them. I asked when I would be meeting the kids and she said they fly in just before the wedding and I would start right away.

I told her I would like to get to know the kids first and she said they want to start out on the right path with being a blended family and that means treating the kids the same. She said they want them to have that after school time together. I told her I understood but I would not be comfortable taking care of the kids for extended periods of time when I do not know them and will have met them one or two times before they would be placed in my care and I would not be comfortable.

My sister asked why I can't just embrace a big change and throw myself in. I told her if she was willing to give me some time to get to know the kids... she said no. So I told her firmly that she would need to find someone else to take care of the kids.

My sister told me I was really showing that I only consider family those who are related by blood. But I would feel the same if my brother came back home after several years and asked me to watch his kids who I have never met and they're blood related. For me it's just a position that requires a close, existing relationship for me to be okay with it.

AITA though?

AITA for leaving when my mom forced me (22 Male) to meet my daughter?

quote:

Hi guys, this is my first post and english isn't my native language.

So earlier this year a girl I ONCE hooked up with texted me and told me she has a 1 year old daughter and I might be the father. I didn't wanna believe her but we took a paternity test and it turned out I really am the father.

She didnt tell me she was pregnant. She didn't tell me when my daughter was born.. no.. she only told me when my daughter was 1 year old!! This and other circumstances led to me not wanting anything to do with her or my daughter. Of course I will pay child support, but she didn't give me any chance to bond with her.

Well, my mother LOVES children and immediately got in contact with the mother and met the child. They've been very close and meeting regularly. I have no problem with that AT ALL. I just don't wanna meet her myself.

Okay so now to the story: My mom broke her foot and needs help at home, so I 'moved' back in to support her. I helped her with her cats, with food and household stuff.

A few days ago I met with a friend and came home very late and slept until 1PM when I was woken up by some voices coming out of my moms bedroom. Mind you, she doesnt have a door and I'm sleeping in the living room, also without a door. So I listened to the voices and it really was the mother and my child. I didn't wanna meet them, see them, hear them or whatever. I was so mad that my mom would do this to me without waking me up so I can leave...

I just got up and left the house. Later that day I got an angry text from my mom AND my grandma saying I'm a horrible son for just leaving. My grandma said some hurtful stuff about me being like my father.

I'm so confused right now... am I really the rear end in a top hat for just leaving because she invited two people I didn't wanna see?

Cowslips Warren fucked around with this message at 19:47 on Aug 30, 2023

# ? Aug 30, 2023 19:37

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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