r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

MajorBonnet posted:

It's the perfect time for a game of Monopoly.

Are you in jail or just visiting?!

# ? Sep 18, 2023 16:15

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# ? May 14, 2024 16:37

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

AITA for allowing my 13yo to decide not to see her dad anymore?

quote:

Bit of background: Ex and I split about a year ago, after 15 years of marriage. He cheated, but it was my decision to end it. We have one 13 year old daughter (Emma) together.

Emma struggled a lot with the split, she�s always been a bit of a daddy�s girl so him moving out was very difficult for her. He has her one night per week at his request - he�s �too busy� to see her more.

Ex met his new girlfriend within a few months of us separating. They don�t live together currently. Gf has 4 kids of her own, aged between 3 and 10. He introduced Emma to his Gf approx. 6 months ago. They all seemed to get along fine, everyone was happy.

The problem is that since then, every single time Emma has contact with her dad, Gf and her kids are present. Emma has no issue with the Gf or the kids in general, she likes them and wouldn�t mind seeing them occasionally but she does find the other children �a bit much sometimes� as she is used to being an only child. They do all activities as a family unit because any one on one time would be unfair on the other kids. On top of this, they all stay at his (2 bedroom) place when Emma is there, meaning 5 kids are sleeping in one bedroom. Emma has complained about a lack of privacy, and expressed frustration at having to �share� her dad, when she only gets to see him for just a few hours a week.

I tried to discuss this with my Ex and suggested a gradual transition might be better for everyone, because at the moment all he�s doing is damaging his relationship with Emma and breeding resentment long term. He basically said Emma is spoiled, and I�m bitter and jealous because he has a new family now. He says Emma is the problem because she doesn�t engage in their family life and that she needs to learn she can�t have all of his attention. She will have to fit in with his new family eventually, so the sooner she gets used to it the better. My argument is that he sees his daughter one night per week, which means he has 6 free nights to spend with his �new family� and they�ve been dating 6 months ish, they don�t live together yet so no need to force family time. Plus it�s been less than a year since we split and I think Emma just needs a bit more time to adjust to such a massive life change.

It�s now at the point where Emma doesn�t want to go to his at all, and to be honest I don�t want to make her. Obviously if her dad was willing to listen to her concerns/consider her feelings then I would encourage her to go but he�s made it clear he�s not going to. We don�t have any formal custody agreement in place but Ex will most definitely blame me if she doesn�t go and I know he�ll say she�s too young to make this decision, it�s my responsibility to ensure she sees him etc. So AITA?

Am I rushing things too fast to make my ex jealous? No it is my daughter who is wrong.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 16:20

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Kurieg posted:

AITA for allowing my 13yo to decide not to see her dad anymore?

Am I rushing things too fast to make my ex jealous? No it is my daughter who is wrong.

OP's ex should take it to court, i'm sure they'll be real interested to hear about the sleeping arrangements at dad's house

# ? Sep 18, 2023 16:33

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Foo Diddley posted:

OP's ex should take it to court, i'm sure they'll be real interested to hear about the sleeping arrangements at dad's house

One thing I noticed is they don't live together yet, they're bringing over all the kids on the weekends he has his daughter specifically so his daughter has to share a room with them.

Also found another kids moving back in story.
AITA for making my daughter share a room with her son?

quote:

I am father of 5 biological children and 1 adopted nephew. My 3 oldest children are adults in their 20's and have previously moved out. My youngest 2 are teenagers aged 16 and 14, and my nephew is 8. My in-laws also live with us. We have a 6-bedroom house so each of the kids have a bedroom, my wife and I have a bedroom, my in-laws have a bedroom, and we previously had a spare bedroom for my older children to stay in when they visit.

My oldest daughter moved to my home country at 18 to attend university there. She met and later married her husband, and they have an almost 4-year-old son together. Things went south in their relationship a few months ago. My daughter moved out with their son, and she was able to stay with my brother for the last few months.

A couple weeks ago she was able to leave the country to move back home with us. My 16-year-old daughter moved into the spare bedroom so we could turn her bedroom (that is bigger and has its own bathroom) into a room for my daughter and grandson to share.

The whole family pitched in to decorate to my daughter's taste and to create a nice area for her son with a small loft bed.

When she came, she was initially grateful, but she did express not being too fond of sharing a room with her son.

Last week she suggested that my nephew and grandson could share a room instead. I told her if she was staying in my home it would have to be in a shared room with her son. She mentioned it a few more times so I asked my nephew if he would like to share his room. His answer was that he didn't really want to, but said some nights grandson could have a sleepover in his room.

Last time my daughter brought up the boys sharing a room I was a little harsh with my tone and my wife thinks I was being an rear end. My wife isn't completely on my side. She thinks I'm not being nice to our daughter who is going through a tough time right now and might need some space/privacy to adjust to her whole life/future changing. She doesn't see why the boys can't share as there's only a small age gap and our nephew would probably get used to sharing with his little cousin. Am I being the rear end in a top hat thinking my daughter should keep sharing with her son?

# ? Sep 18, 2023 16:33

Upgrade: Jun 19, 2021

Delivery also isn�t that much extra now at a lot of places if you hit order minimums

# ? Sep 18, 2023 16:42

oh jay: Oct 15, 2012

Living in squalor is free tho

# ? Sep 18, 2023 16:54

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

oh jay posted:

Living in squalor is free tho

In this economy? Lol

# ? Sep 18, 2023 16:58

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Wicked Them Beats posted:

Notice he doesn't mention what made it "hell." Gonna guess it was the pouty tantrum he was throwing the whole time.

Plus he explicitly states when he does go shopping he only gets what he needs, and of course it's incumbent upon his girlfriend to prepare a list if she wants anything else. She's probably filling in a ton of gaps in their shopping that he doesn't when he does his weekly dog treat/protein shake run.

Like other cleaning supplies and vegetables.

Oh the vegetables are for her. He only likes tater tots.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 17:04

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Upgrade posted:

Delivery also isn�t that much extra now at a lot of places if you hit order minimums

After talking about mumsnet posters last page and being tired I could NOT parse that sentence, "Baby delivery and ordering mini-mums? WTF are they going on about?"

# ? Sep 18, 2023 17:54

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Arsenic Lupin posted:

"Eventually" is not a few months. Eventually may not even be a few years.

Plus they'd undoubtedly try roping the high school son into babysitting duties on top of dealing with his sister/husband who clearly aren't financially stable.

Evil Willow posted:

A long story, but we need something sweet as gently caress!

I feel like I'm going to crack

UPDATE I feel like I'm going to crack

Went in expecting :stonk:

, came away with :kimchi:

# ? Sep 18, 2023 18:05

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for telling my stepmother that by her standards I am better than her?

quote:

It sounds weird and I may very well be the AH, but I�m not sure I regret it even so.

Background: My mom died when I was 4. My dad remarried when I was 7. We�ll call my stepmother Sheila. Sheila is the personification of the tradwife trope and while she�s not Quiverful movement, she comes from a similar background. Basically, her entire self-worth is wrapped up in how many kids she has and how nice her house is kept. She has a lot of disdain for �career women�, especially unmarried, childless ones. Needless to say, I do not like or agree with Sheila and I have no idea what my dad sees in her. My mom was the opposite. My teenage years were one long, constant argument because (1) I have refused numerous times to be adopted by Sheila, (2) I have 6 half-siblings and I refused to help her raise them, and (3) I am pretty much everything Sheila disapproves of. My dad tried to mediate as best he could but it was a difficult situation.

Needless to say, I do not go home often. I keep in contact with my dad, but I ignore anything from Sheila unless it�s an emergency. I completed my surgical residency not long ago, so I took some time off for a vacation and a quick visit with my dad before I really get stuck into my practice. I agreed to come to their house for a cookout, knowing that I would probably be annoyed but it was something nice my dad wanted to do for me.

Now, I don�t have children or a partner. I love my career and I like being solo. Still, when I was in undergrad I figured if I�m not going to use my eggs, someone might as well get some use out of them. So I did 3 rounds of egg donations and put the money towards med school. As a result at last report I have 8 biological offspring.

Sheila decided to start her usual �When are you going to settle down?�, nonsense, and I was set to ignore her as usual, but then she said �Don�t think you�re better because you have money, a woman�s worth is in her home and children.�

I said, �Well, that would mean I�m still better than you because I have more bio-children than you do, a nice home, AND a successful career."

She just stared at me for a minute and left. She didn�t come back outside while I was there. My dad called later to ask what happened and said that even though she shouldn�t have started the conversation in the first place, it was a low blow. She couldn�t have more children after the last one, and she was very upset to be reminded of that, plus she has always thought that I look down on her. I do, but not because of her lifestyle choice, more so because she�s so judgmental about it herself.

Anyway, my dad wants me to apologize. A couple of the older half-siblings have sent me radioactive texts about it. I think she walked in to that one, but given her fertility issues and knowing how much self-concept she has wrapped up in a big family, it might have been a little over the line.

AITA?

# ? Sep 18, 2023 18:15

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

You know she's always thought you look down on her, this adult woman you met when you were five or six years old.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 18:18

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

The main thing I noticed about that 13-year-old story is this line:

"He cheated, but it was my decision to end it."

Uh yeah I'd think that if you found out you were being cheated on you're ending the relationship?

# ? Sep 18, 2023 18:37

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Long story with lots of updates (you can read the whole thing in r/BestofRedditorUpdates if you like), but I just wanted to highlight a nice strong spine, worthy of Pete himself

Am I wrong that I broke up with him without warning

OP's boyfriend cheats on her, she finds out, and moves all her poo poo out of their apartment and leaves a note saying we're splitsville. Ex-BF eventually tracks her down to try to explain how what he did wasn't really cheating etc. etc. which resulted in this exchange:

quote:

Chris :Hi how are you

Me : good as you can see.

C : you're looking great .Looking very beautiful

M: what do you want now. You cheated n now here to tell me reason or excuses

C:I didn't do it on purpose it just happened .Im Sorry I will never do that again. I love you. It was my biggest mistake I was not in control. You can slap me or punish me but don't leave me. (By the way he was crying uncontrollably during this but nothing really worked for me. He was begging literally.)

M : OK I forgive you. Now leave.

C: But what about our relationship

M: What relationship. I told you I'm breaking up with you. You asked for forgiveness I accept that.

C :you can't do this. You know I messed up I'm regretting it now. I'll die if you didn't come back.

M: I really don't have time for this now. You asked for forgiveness you got it now there's nothing to talk about.

Atta girl.

Updates are less cheerful, Ex-BF graduates to Stalker Ex-BF and eventually to Suicide Attempt Ex-BF, while their collective friend group naturally comes down hard on OP, saying it was a one time thing and why can't you forgive him and can't you see he's in love with you and so on. Sigh.

Also, LOL forever at "I didn't mean to cheat, it just happened, I wasn't in control". Sure, pal.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 18:38

Lone Goat: Apr 16, 2003; When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.

ApplesandOranges posted:

The main thing I noticed about that 13-year-old story is this line:

"He cheated, but it was my decision to end it."

Uh yeah I'd think that if you found out you were being cheated on you're ending the relationship?

There's been plenty of situations where the cheater ends the relationship first.

There's also been plenty of situations where the person cheated on did not end the relationship.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 18:41

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

ApplesandOranges posted:

The main thing I noticed about that 13-year-old story is this line:

"He cheated, but it was my decision to end it."

Uh yeah I'd think that if you found out you were being cheated on you're ending the relationship?

There's an entire Lifetime movie genre about that very thing, either staying for the kids or making it work for reputation or about being a loving Tradwife who forgives.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 18:45

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

FMguru posted:

Also, LOL forever at "I didn't mean to cheat, it just happened, I wasn't in control". Sure, pal.

Gosh darn hypnotists at it again! :ohdear:

# ? Sep 18, 2023 18:46

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Lone Goat posted:

There's been plenty of situations where the cheater ends the relationship first.

There's also been plenty of situations where the person cheated on did not end the relationship.

Sadly in the latter case it's usually financial poo poo too, as in the person cheated on can't leave because of money issues/they can't survive on their own.

AITA for calling my dad for his double standards when it comes to me and my brother in dating ?

quote:

When I was 16, I had a crush on my friends cousin who was a junior in college. We just instantly clicked on every level and he is still the best person I know. Unfortunately when we tried dating, my dad found out and made a huge deal about him being in college and dating his "young" daughter from high school. I couldn't understand it as we were only 5 years apart and absolutely the same age maturity wise, but dad did not approve and apparently the cursing out / shaming tactics worked on him and he regretfully broke up with me. He said he was cursed out by my dad, called a groomer and that he is taking advantage of me and he do not want to feel like a creep. It broke my heart, but I guess I focused on finishing high school and moving the hell out, so I can be with him in college. Unfortunately by the time I went to college, he was with his girlfriend, who he stayed together all throughout college and so on, and yesterday was their wedding. I am not gonna lie, I congratulated him but I felt really sad by that because I feel that should have been me. I have never met another man like him and I am developing some unhealthy jealousy towards his now wife. But I am working through this and also have created some daddy issue due to my resentment towards my dad.

Now to the hypocrisy part. My younger brother who is in high school, came out like a year ago. My family was very supporting and celebrated his journey. Especially my dad, who in the past had said some homophobic remarks have really done a 180 and have been very supporting to my brother and is very protective of him, except who he dates. See my brother has dated few guys who are considerably older than he is and for some reason my dad is perfectly okay with it. The final straw for me was his latest date that he brought to the wedding. My brother is now dating a guy who is 31 (14 year old difference) and my dad took photos with them together all really happy.

I just couldn't take it so when we got home, I exploded on my dad on how he could allow my brother to be in relationship with significantly older guy but had a problem with me dating a few years older. He says that my brother is a man and its different for daughters and I won't be able to understand. I asked if his older boyfriend is now not taking advantage of my brother and he said that I am being homophobic by questioning their relationship. I in reply said that he is overcompensating of his previous homophobia by condoning pe**philia now. Well he got angry and kicked me out and then told my brother about that. Now both of them are not speaking but I don't think I have said anything wrong here. AITA for saying this and How can I reach out to my brother and have him see my side in this ?

# ? Sep 18, 2023 18:49

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for calling my dad for his double standards when it comes to me and my brother in dating ?

quote:

He says that my brother is a man and its different for daughters and I won't be able to understand.

boys will be boys, but daughters are property

# ? Sep 18, 2023 18:53

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Are you in jail or just visiting?!

Makes me wonder which board games are allowed in jail safety-wise.

Kurieg posted:

One thing I noticed is they don't live together yet, they're bringing over all the kids on the weekends he has his daughter specifically so his daughter has to share a room with them.

Yah, struck me as a free childcare thing even though I�m usually slow on that take.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 19:11

tater_salad: Sep 15, 2007

I guessed the first age... and then let out an audible oof on the second one...

# ? Sep 18, 2023 19:12

sullat: Jan 9, 2012

Cowslips Warren posted:

Sadly in the latter case it's usually financial poo poo too, as in the person cheated on can't leave because of money issues/they can't survive on their own.

Or the cheater has access to all the levers of national power and the other spouse will lose out on her political ambitions if she gets a divorce.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 19:21

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

kimbo305 posted:

Makes me wonder which board games are allowed in jail safety-wise.

techicnally zero they are contraband but in practice alot. you can spend your commisary poo poo to buy bootleg mtg cards i wouldnt be suprised if people smuggle in darkhaven or something insane.

that said anything thats gonna cause strife might be better to stay away from. like dont play settlers. monopoly is fine because wasting time is the name of the game.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 19:57

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Foo Diddley posted:

boys will be boys, but daughters are property

Dad went about it the wrong way but uh...

quote:

When I was 16, I had a crush on my friends cousin who was a junior in college. We just instantly clicked on every level and he is still the best person I know. Unfortunately when we tried dating, my dad found out and made a huge deal about him being in college and dating his "young" daughter from high school. I couldn't understand it as we were only 5 years apart and absolutely the same age maturity wise

Yeah sorry kid, a 21 year old college fratboy & high school sophomore are nowhere near "same maturity"

# ? Sep 18, 2023 20:00

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

The sub's not as good for actual nuance but every now and then you get one that's just crazy enough:

Why did MIL hold my spicy toy hostage for months?

quote:

It makes me physically sick to think about but when I was living with them (my partner and I lived in the basement temporarily whilst my parents were selling their home, and before we found an apartment).... My spicy toy from my underwear drawer mysteriously disappeared. For a few weeks I thought I had completely lost my mind, but eventually told my partner that I thought his mother might have taken it. Every time mentioned it to him, I could tell he didn't believe me and to be honest, I didn't even really believe it but it was the only conclusion I could come to.

He asked his mum about it and she acted horrified and started crying. He wasn't horrible to her, just simply asked if she had seen it. She's the kind of person who loves to humiliate me so I thought maybe she did it because she assumed my partner didn't know I had one (obviously he knew. It's nothing to be ashamed of) or she thought we wouldn't have the balls to confront her about it? I'm not sure. With the missing toy gone, I also noticed my payslips had gone missing too. One day, after moving out we are over at his parents house. He asked her (again) "are you sure you haven't seen it?" Because of the reaction we got the first time, we thought she might be guilty. She once again says she hasn't seen it, then follows us out to the car and starts howling in the street, full on sobbing at me asking me how I could be so horrible to "accuse her" like this. I said "I'm not accusing you, I just don't understand how it could have gone missing" and immediately she stops crying and kisses her son goodbye and that's that. So weird how she usually cries for show then wipes off her tears and goes on like nothing happened. She denied having it until a few months later when my partner and I had an opera performance at a golf club (we are both musicians) She showed up with a gigantic cardboard box, waving and smiling "sweetie, you'll never guess what I found!!". In this box was my toy, my payslips, which had ALL been opened, and a bunch of garbage she had thrown on top like old crumpled up receipts and old tissues etc. she also threw in an old accessory from a pirate Halloween costume lol. I think she brought it there to try to humiliate me in front of people or get some kind of reaction out of me.

Why do you think she took these things? Both are very personal so I'm wondering if it's to assert dominance? If it was to make me feel ashamed? If it was to..... USE?!!! Maybe she's thinks I'm insulting her sons penis by having it hahahahah... I don't know!

# ? Sep 18, 2023 20:02

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

BOOTY-ADE posted:

Dad went about it the wrong way but uh...

Yeah sorry kid, a 21 year old college fratboy & high school sophomore are nowhere near "same maturity"

yeah wow, i just skimmed and didn't do the math on either of them. and the brother's relationship is 17 and 31, agh

# ? Sep 18, 2023 20:04

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for telling my stepmother that by her standards I am better than her?

r/relationships: she has always thought that I look down on her. I do, but

# ? Sep 18, 2023 20:04

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for calling my dad for his double standards when it comes to me and my brother in dating ?

Is there an abbreviation for the dad being a hypocritical misogynistic rear end in a top hat, but accidentally correct about OP being groomed?

# ? Sep 18, 2023 20:14

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

Is there an abbreviation for the dad being a hypocritical misogynistic rear end in a top hat, but accidentally correct about OP being groomed?

HMABACAOPBG

# ? Sep 18, 2023 20:16

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

Foo Diddley posted:

yeah wow, i just skimmed and didn't do the math on either of them. and the brother's relationship is 17 and 31, agh

Well, dad in this story is 2 for 3, which is a pretty good batting average in baseball.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 20:31

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

ApplesandOranges posted:

Why did MIL hold my spicy toy hostage for months?

quote:
She denied having it until a few months later when my partner and I had an opera performance at a golf club (we are both musicians) She showed up with a gigantic cardboard box, waving and smiling "sweetie, you'll never guess what I found!!". In this box was my toy, my payslips, which had ALL been opened, and a bunch of garbage she had thrown on top like old crumpled up receipts and old tissues etc. she also threw in an old accessory from a pirate Halloween costume lol.

Lol, I really want to see the TV adaptation of this one.

The Maroon Hawk posted:

r/relationships: she has always thought that I look down on her. I do, but

# ? Sep 18, 2023 20:35

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

The Maroon Hawk posted:

r/relationships: she has always thought that I look down on her. I do, but

As a primary stakeholder in this thread, this should be the next thread title.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 20:40

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

BOOTY-ADE posted:

Dad went about it the wrong way but uh...

Yeah sorry kid, a 21 year old college fratboy & high school sophomore are nowhere near "same maturity"

actually we have seen MANY posts where this is true.

AITA for wanting my mother with us while my wife gives birth

quote:

My wife is about to give birth to our second child. During the first pregnancy my wife had her mother with her while giving birth. I wasn�t the biggest fan of this but I kept my mouth shut. Now that we are going to have a second child I wanted to discuss about having my mother with us in the delivery room. She was upset since she wanted to witness the birth of her first grandchild and thought it was only fair if she got to be there for the second delivery.

My wife completed refused my suggestion before I got a chance to completely explain. She stated she didn�t feel comfortable with my mother in the room while she was giving birth. I was angry since she was completely controlling the situation as if she was the only parent involved. Last time I checked I�m a parent so I should also have a say in this situation, it�s not just her child. I told her that and she reiterated her previous statement.

Apparently at some point she told her sister and my SIL completely blew up my phone calling me a selfish rear end in a top hat for trying to control who�s with my wife when she gives birth. I tried to explain my side but she didn�t change her opinion. I�ve now been getting message from my wife�s family calling me all sorts of names and insulting me left and right.

I don�t really see what I did wrong here. I�m not an rear end in a top hat for wanting a say as a parent to this future child as well but everyone even my own friend agree otherwise. Reddit, AITA?

# ? Sep 18, 2023 20:50

kru: Oct 5, 2003

ApplesandOranges posted:

The sub's not as good for actual nuance but every now and then you get one that's just crazy enough:

Why did MIL hold my spicy toy hostage for months?

Yikes Zone Speed Limit Reached: enable reverse thrusters

# ? Sep 18, 2023 20:54

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

Cowslips Warren posted:

actually we have seen MANY posts where this is true.

lmao

# ? Sep 18, 2023 20:57

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

Everyone knows about the parental right to presale tickets to your kid's live birth

# ? Sep 18, 2023 21:01

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for wanting my mother with us while my wife gives birth

OP not happy about being called a mama's boy in the comments. Wonder how soon the mods will send that term into the forbidden zone alongside manch*ld.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 21:03

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for wanting my mother with us while my wife gives birth

The following people have final say on who can be in the room while the mother gives birth:
The mother
Any medical professionals involved with the birth

# ? Sep 18, 2023 21:03

Solenna: Jun 5, 2003; I'd say it was your manifest destiny not to.

My MIL is a sweet and kind lady who likes me and loves her grandkids and I can think of very few things more psychically uncomfortable than her watching me have a baby jesus christ.

I want my coworker to stop giving me “psychic messages” from my dead family members

quote:

I’ve worked at my current company for six years. In that time, I befriended a coworker (Rebecca) who, to be honest, seemed very lonely but was sweet. We had some things in common and she sat with me at lunch sometimes. We’re completely remote now, but the two of us would still occasionally get together to go on shopping trips, ren faires, etc.

Eventually she became kind of pushy about wanting to be included in every outing I ever mentioned. I managed to always let her down gently, but it started to feel like I was the only person who ever wanted to hang out with her.

On our last outing, it was a decently long drive. Rebecca took up a large portion of the drive telling me about how she had gotten really into this one “psychic” on Tiktok who offers paid classes to “train your psychic abilities.” She went on and on about this, and asked if I would want messages from my mom, who died over a decade ago. I told her it was a sweet thought, but no thank you, because that’s really not my sort of thing. During this conversation, she also told me about how she was taking a ton of unpaid time off of work and became behind on many of her bills, some of which were possibly going to collections. But she was still taking Tiktok psychic classes. Being trapped in a car with her, it was way too awkward for me to really speak my mind about it. Plus, I felt like it wasn’t really my place.

This year has been very difficult for me in regards to loss. My grandmother, who I lived with, passed suddenly. Very recently I got a new puppy, who tragically passed in a horrible accident not even a week after I brought him home. It was extremely traumatic for me, but most people around me have been very caring and thoughtful in normal ways.

But … Rebecca. After my grandmother passed, she almost immediately sent me an unsolicited “message” from her, telling me my grandmother is proud of me and other vague things. It was a random message out of nowhere after having not spoken in a while, so I just thanked her again and moved on with my day.

But then I went through losing my puppy. I received three separate messages from Rebecca, telling me, “He’s with your mom and grandma, they’re all happy and they love you.” This was less than 24 hours after losing him. Then, last night, she sent me another message giving details about how my dead family members are playing with my dead dog, and very specific behaviors my dog is doing, like spinning around and barking, and how my grandmother found it funny. I finally lost my patience. I thanked her for thinking of me and caring, but said I did not ask for messages from the great beyond and do not want to hear any more. She apologized but also sort of excused her behavior, saying she “doesn’t mean to upset me more” and that “sometimes I keep getting the messages over and over until I pass them on.” For the record, she met my grandmother maybe twice, briefly, and (obviously) never met my mom, or my puppy. And, shockingly, she never mentions any of my other passed family members or pets.

Is there a way I can shut her down more assertively if she tries this again, without saying something like, “Please stop pushing your Tiktok psychic scam crap on people who don’t ask for it”? I don’t want to completely cut off my relationship with her, though we’re not in the same department anymore. I also feel bad because she had come to my grandmother’s service to support me, which I appreciated it, but I also feel at this point she has way overstepped some boundaries. I tend to have a lot of trouble enforcing my boundaries without people taking it really poorly, so I’d love some kind of script for this!

First line of Ask a Manager's reply: "What in the double-fried gently caress."

# ? Sep 18, 2023 21:06

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 14, 2024 16:37

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for wanting my mother with us while my wife gives birth

quote:

I was angry since she was completely controlling the situation as if she was the only parent involved.

she's acting like she's the only person giving birth, here

# ? Sep 18, 2023 21:07

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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