Post the worst pizza ever in this thread: No Gods, No Mestres

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uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

blackhead pizza. grew it myself.

# ? Sep 17, 2023 18:44

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# ? May 26, 2024 17:31

Desperado Bones: Aug 29, 2009; Cute, adorable, and creepy at the same time!

Huitlacoche pizza!

Maize fungus. It's actually delicious SO, this might be just a bunch of people loving up a Mexican delicacy.

Huitlacoche with pumpkin flowers and...hibiscus flowers. Pumpkin flowers are the nicest, I'm not sure about hibiscus flowers.

# ? Sep 17, 2023 23:23

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Desperado Bones posted:

Huitlacoche pizza!

I don't remember whether I've seen that on a pizza before. I'm always torn when I remember it exists as a food in general - on the one hand, I spent my childhood constantly grossed out when it'd show up on our sweet corn, on the other I'm just a massive mushroom fiend foodwise. I think I'd go for it if I could just get the mental picture out of my mind.

# ? Sep 17, 2023 23:42

Soul Dentist: Mar 17, 2009

It's so loving good

# ? Sep 17, 2023 23:46

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

if you like shrooms you'd love it. just close your eyes when you eat it.

i like hibiscus tea a lot, not sure how that would work on a pizza though.

# ? Sep 17, 2023 23:47

Desperado Bones: Aug 29, 2009; Cute, adorable, and creepy at the same time!

uber_stoat posted:

if you like shrooms you'd love it. just close your eyes when you eat it.

i like hibiscus tea a lot, not sure how that would work on a pizza though.

Yeah, it can look gross but it has that nice earthy taste, and goes well in quesadilas or tacos with some cheese and hot sauce.

I'm staring at the first pizza and I just realized it's a frozen pizza, that got some corn mushroom dropped in it with cheap goat cheese. I need the Everyone is so Creative lady to narrate this.

Agua de Jamaica is made with hibiscus flowers, and it's good...as aguas frescas. I don't think it's yummy to chew on the flowers?

# ? Sep 18, 2023 02:09

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Cross-posting from randomwaffle

# ? Sep 18, 2023 23:38

Justin Credible: Aug 27, 2003; happy cat

Looks like the oven version of when my friend's mom would make a plate of crispy cheese by covering a paper plate in sharp cheddar then another plate on top, then microwaved until it was the consistency of like hard crackers.

Just not cooked as much, and the low res pic makes it impossible to deduce it's anything but a square of oven heated cheese

# ? Sep 18, 2023 23:41

maybeadracula: Sep 9, 2022; by sebmojo

Justin Credible posted:

Looks like the oven version of when my friend's mom would make a plate of crispy cheese by covering a paper plate in sharp cheddar then another plate on top, then microwaved until it was the consistency of like hard crackers.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 23:44

Dr_0ctag0n: Apr 25, 2015; The whole human race
sentenced
to
burn

Justin Credible posted:

Looks like the oven version of when my friend's mom would make a plate of crispy cheese by covering a paper plate in sharp cheddar then another plate on top, then microwaved until it was the consistency of like hard crackers.

# ? Sep 18, 2023 23:52

Soul Dentist: Mar 17, 2009

C'est une tuille, imbéciles

# ? Sep 19, 2023 00:12

Dokapon Findom: Dec 5, 2022; They hated Futanari because His posts were shit.

Parm is the best cheese for a tuile

# ? Sep 19, 2023 01:10

SlothfulCobra: Mar 27, 2011

maybealabia posted:

That's gotten to be fairly popular these days.

You can buy them premade in bags.

# ? Sep 19, 2023 01:22

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

SlothfulCobra posted:

That's gotten to be fairly popular these days.

You can buy them premade in bags.

I had the same reaction at first, I read it as toasting up the paper plates too at first and thought it was a tale of culinary horror :v:

# ? Sep 19, 2023 01:38

stringless: Dec 28, 2005; keyboard ⌨️ cowboy

Dokapon Findom posted:

Castelvatranos are the best olive with pit.

I would submit Cerignola olives as a contender. Not sure I've had any Castelvatranos, though, tbf

# ? Sep 19, 2023 03:32

ELTON JOHN: Feb 17, 2014

SlothfulCobra posted:

That's gotten to be fairly popular these days.

You can buy them premade in bags.

italians have been doing it for a while now

# ? Sep 19, 2023 06:47

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

you can just slap it on an iron skillet, even slam a tortilla on top and if you do it right it'll fuse

# ? Sep 19, 2023 06:54

Upsidads: Jan 11, 2007; Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates

Jalapenos? none or lots?

# ? Sep 19, 2023 07:17

Justin Credible: Aug 27, 2003; happy cat

I mean sure it's a crunchy cheesy protein snack but maybe taking that plate of reeking loving cheese into an hours long car ride where she refused to also have the windows down maybe was a bit much

But that's a story for another day much like Maz Carbonara

But maybe one day I will actually tell that tale of woe and mirth

# ? Sep 19, 2023 07:23

ChairmanMauzer: Dec 30, 2004; It wears a human face.

"The Willy Wonka 4/20 Special 😮‍💨
Euphoric AF 🚀
Frito Lays & Chic Fil A Drizzle
Waffle Fries 🍟 & Tator Tots
Pepperoni & Jalape�o
Buffalo Vibez "

# ? Sep 20, 2023 19:20

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

ELTON JOHN posted:

italians have been doing it for a while now

"Revolutionary cis snake!"

# ? Sep 20, 2023 19:31

Soul Dentist: Mar 17, 2009

ChairmanMauzer posted:

"The Willy Wonka 4/20 Special 😮‍💨
Euphoric AF 🚀
Frito Lays & Chic Fil A Drizzle
Waffle Fries 🍟 & Tator Tots
Pepperoni & Jalapeño
Buffalo Vibez "

Too many carbs but the real issue is the loving copy

# ? Sep 20, 2023 20:21

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

ChairmanMauzer posted:

"The Willy Wonka 4/20 Special 😮‍💨
Euphoric AF 🚀
Frito Lays & Chic Fil A Drizzle
Waffle Fries 🍟 & Tator Tots
Pepperoni & Jalape�o
Buffalo Vibez "

Pepp and jalapeno is a great combo. Too bad about the rest of that stuff.

# ? Sep 20, 2023 21:23

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

Soul Dentist posted:

Too many carbs but the real issue is the loving copy

You used the phrase "euphoric AF"!

also three kinds of potato? get the gently caress outta here.

# ? Sep 20, 2023 21:50

Pacra: Aug 5, 2004

uber_stoat posted:

You used the phrase "euphoric AF"!

also three kinds of potato? get the gently caress outta here.

sorry, three? I only count two...

# ? Sep 21, 2023 01:13

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

Pacra posted:

sorry, three? I only count two...

i read frito and lays as two things but i guess they were just using the Proper frito brand name. still too much tater.

# ? Sep 21, 2023 01:16

Stunning Honky: Sep 7, 2004; " . . . "

500excf type r posted:

I've said it a hundred times in the olive thread and I'll say it here:

Olives are trash for idiots

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Hit me with it because hard same

# ? Sep 21, 2023 03:41

EconDad: Jul 20, 2013; you talkin' to me Sheriff?

oh... I thought you was talkin' to me.

THOSE DAMN ENCHILADAS

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

Cross-posting from randomwaffle

Square Poop Disc + Cheese

# ? Sep 21, 2023 05:05

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

uber_stoat posted:

You used the phrase "euphoric AF"!

also three kinds of potato? get the gently caress outta here.

At this moment I'm euphoric
Not because of any phony "healthy eating"
But because I'm filled with carb on carb on carb pizza

# ? Sep 21, 2023 06:59

Dokapon Findom: Dec 5, 2022; They hated Futanari because His posts were shit.

Soul Dentist posted:

Too many carbs but the real issue is the loving copy

The transition between description to actual ingredients then back again threw me, I had to google Buffalo Vibez to see if that's some stupid buffalo fling type food item (fling for context being what my Safeway calls their mechanically separated boneless wing). From a linguistic and grammatical standpoint there are many things about it that upset me

loving tater tots is spelled wrong :mad:

Come get u some

# ? Sep 21, 2023 11:22

Powerful Katrinka: Oct 11, 2021; an admin fat fingered a permaban and all i got was this lousy av

I think "Buffalo Vibez" means they put some Frank's Red Hot on it

# ? Sep 21, 2023 18:49

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Powerful Katrinka posted:

I think "Buffalo Vibez" means they put some Frank's Red Hot on it

It means you should not approach within 25 yards of it, like when you're visiting Yellowstone

# ? Sep 21, 2023 18:58

Dokapon Findom: Dec 5, 2022; They hated Futanari because His posts were shit.

Powerful Katrinka posted:

I think "Buffalo Vibez" means they put some Frank's Red Hot on it

Cheugy Buffalo Hours

# ? Sep 21, 2023 19:37

Powerful Katrinka: Oct 11, 2021; an admin fat fingered a permaban and all i got was this lousy av

Dokapon Findom posted:

Cheugy Buffalo Hours

I had to look up "cheugy," and that describes Buffalo pretty well. Hence the love for blue cheese and rejection of ranch dressing

# ? Sep 21, 2023 19:46

Dokapon Findom: Dec 5, 2022; They hated Futanari because His posts were shit.

Ranch is the superior accompaniment but neither it nor blue cheese dressing are needed for wings imo. They�re already covered in sauce, they don�t need a dip!

# ? Sep 21, 2023 19:49