quote:

Hey everyone,
My (M36) sister (F33) turned 30 three years ago. I decided to give her a voucher for a private alpaca hike as a present. We all like animals but I also thought it would be a good opportunity for some family time, maybe including our parents and her kids.
Over time, I've asked her every few months if she had some plans already, not to push her to do it but simply for planning reasons, so I wouldn't be on vacation then or something. She was always dismissive of the idea, not directly saying she didn't wanna do it but always like "I don't wanna think about it right now, we'll have to see ..." giving off the vibe that she was a bit annoyed by the inquiry and not keen on doing it at all, so I left it at that.

The time passed and nothing ever came of it. I recently noticed that the voucher would expire at the end of this year and I didn't want it to go to waste, as it a) would have been sad but also b) the hike was fully prepaid, non-refundable and not that cheap (200€) because it is exclusive to the group with a dedicated guide.

A few days ago, I thus texted my sister via WhatsApp, saying:
"Hey, how are you and the kids? How is it going? Just a quick question: do you already have some plans for the alpaca hike? I noticed that the voucher expires by the end of the year and it would be a shame if it would expire unused, also as it was somewhat pricey. Do you wanna do it? If not I would also take the voucher and go in your place. Have a nice day!"

I didn't receive any answer whatsoever. Today I saw her at an unrelated family gathering. Towards the end I asked her "did you read my message?" she was like "yea ..." and I responded "and you didn't wanna reply or ...?". She said "No it wouldn't have been nice ...". Then I took her aside and asked what the problem was.

She then started to quietly yell at me that it was totally disrespectful to watch so closely what happened to the gift and that she would never "ask for a present back", especially in that "demanding tone of mine", being extremely pissy about it. I went ahead and explained that it was really not my intent to upset her, that I thought she maybe had forgotten about it in the stress with the kids and all, and that it wasn't an allegation or criticism. Also I reiterated that I by no means am asking for anything back, I'm just offering to jump in to prevent the voucher from expiring unused if she didn't wanna go.

She wouldn't have any of it, insisted that it was "totally weird and inappropriate" and that it wasn't my business what happened with her presents. She then explained that I "don't need to worry about it" as she would do it but without me and that she wouldn't talk about it anymore. I'm pretty sure that she wouldn't have done it at all if I hadn't said something and the main reason she's now doing it is spite.
So AITA?

Hughlander posted:

AITAH for making a microscope slide of my husbands sperm

quote:

I literally do him like every day. Crazy is good in bed.

haveblue posted:

In video games sometimes the novice can win when you wouldn't expect because they don't know how strategies and meta are supposed to work and zig when the expert predicts that a fellow expert would zag. But that only works for a moment, and doesn't translate to real sports where you have to do coordinated whole-body movements

Modal Auxiliary posted:

I honestly have trouble believing this one. Anyone with a phobic reaction that strong would have a trigger list a mile long and I'd expect photography studios to be near the top.

And also, offering a location shoot is more than enough accommodation, how were they not okay with "literally anywhere but this one specific studio"?

quote:

I (27f) have been invited by my friend Tom (32M), as a plus one to his older brother's wedding (36M).

Tom and I met at a party and have been friends for 10 years. He asked me out when we first met and I said no. He's been in a few relationships over the years and had a long-term girlfriend for four years.

Tom broke up with his long-term gf in March and asked me out quite a few times afterwards. This caused tension within our friendship, but the last time we spoke about it, he seemed to understand that I wasn't interested, and a relationship with me was never going to be on the table.

His family has been putting pressure on him settling down and getting married, especially since his brother got engaged. He asked me if I could be his plus one to his big brother's wedding so he wouldn't go alone, and I (reluctantly) said yes.

Tom told his brother about me, and his brother said he'd like to meet me before the wedding "in case it's awkward" and he doesn't want anyone ruining his wedding. I thought this was a tad strange because I'm only a plus one. I'm not part of the wedding party. But I said sure, arrange something if you want to.

Tom's brother has since told his mother and father about me. Now his mother wants to meet me before the wedding too, as Tom said: "just to make sure you'll fit in with everyone". I feel like I'm being screened and I'm finding it kind of offensive.

I'm starting to think maybe Tom has implied I'm more than a friend to his family. It's making me uncomfortable.

So, WIBTA if I pulled out of the wedding? Or is this normal and I'm being overly sensitive?

quote:

Nta. When you invite someone and give them a plus one trying to control or evaluate who they bring is lovely behavior. I say that as a guy who had two sex workers at his wedding brought by friends. Side note, they were awesome women and livened it up.

Tarkus posted:

Here's a gift you prolly don't like. (time passes) Didja do it? Didja do it? Didja do it? Didja do it? Didja do it? Didja do it?

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for reminding my sister a voucher for an event I gifted her would soon expire and offer to go in her place if she didn't want to?

quote:

I decided to give her a voucher for a private alpaca hike as a present. We all like animals but I also thought it would be a good opportunity for some family time, maybe including our parents and her kids.

ApplesandOranges posted:

They're both idiots, him for harping on about a present he gave someone and her for both not telling him it's not a present she'd want to have but also just using it out of spite anyway instead of giving it to someone who'd appreciate it more.

Also this is why you don't give people gifts with expiration dates if possible.

quote:

My Wife (38F, call her Carol) and I were not married yet. We were together, and I bought a house about 13 years ago. She was basically living there. We have been married 10 years. We have two boys (10, 7). Things have been fine. Just family life. I have not cheated on my wife while we were married.

A woman(35F, call her Shelly) who lives in our neighborhood, she is a friend these days. Her and her ex-husband bought a home basically around the same time. We met at various events, garage sales etc in the area.

I had the house for a year, and I lost my job. Carol was defacto living there (she was staying with me 20+ days a month, she still technically lived at home). So I decided to get my insurance and real estate license just incase I couldn't find work for an extended period of time. Shelly wasn't working either so, she kinda just tagged along and worked on getting one too.

Well over the course of 5-6 months me and Shelly were fooling around a couple times a week. Shelly became pregnant we stopped the situation. It never really occurred to us that it could be my child. We were using protection most of the time. So about two years later Shelly and her husband spilt. He skips town, basically has had no contact. He came by during the holidays a few years back for a couple days. I understand he has no relationship with their son. He doesn't pay child support.

Shelly, Carol, and I are all friends. We haven't revisited the relationship at all. I honestly forget it ever happened.

Shelly ended up using her insurance license and real estate license. She makes ends meet. I didn't need it. I found a job working local school district Teaching and coaching some after school sports. Carol is Veterinary Assistant.

Shelly was diagnosed with an aggressive form ovarian cancer about 2 years ago. She fought but finally, decided to go into Hospice.

Her son, basically is like a cousin to our boys. They aren't friends. But he plays on the same teams with them, he has been on family vacations. When Shelly goes out of town, or has to work late he stays at our house.

Well upon her choosing hospice she decided to give guardianship to me and my wife, so that way we can handle his affairs, while they track down the ex-husband. There has been an on-going joke we have 3 kids over the years. Which was always funny, but I noticed the kid is pigeon-toed, like me and has very distinct very large front teeth that run in my family.

My wife was surprised she gave us guardianship. But her reasoning was he wouldn't have to change schools, he knows the family.

So...I started getting nervous I asked Shelly is her son mine. She said she use to think no, but about 3-4 years ago she started realizing I probably was. So we started discussing whats going to happen...Shelly said she has no interest of knowing who the father is, or telling anyone about our relationships at this point.

My marriage is okay. I don't want a divorce, but I'm basically backed into a corner.

Shelly has her house, and a life insurance policy. She wants the proceeds of sale to fund his college education, and the insurance policy to help him buy a house. Its about $500K-$750K between the two, depends on some finally estate matters however.

So I get a paternity test on the Shelly's son. It came back he is mine.

We have about $10K and $14K saved for our kid's college both.

I am 100% sure this will end my marriage, and my new found son could suffer financially.

I view it I have two options:

Divorce my wife, I take care of my son, and co-parent with my other two children.

Stay with my wife, say nothing. View this as a windfall to my family. Use it to fund the other siblings education, and give our family some much needed financial cushion.

WIBTAH keeping this child secret from my wife, continue living with our children? or Tell her the truth, and go and live my life with my newfound son.

quote:

I have not cheated on my wife while we were married.

Harold Fjord posted:

Give me my son's inheritance

Clocks posted:

So like... a group hike of some kind? If she hasn't used it then she doesn't sound interested, if he wanted to take the family on a hike he should've just done so rather than gifting his sister something she wasn't interested in.

Cowslips Warren posted:

I (40M) Fathered a child during an affair 12 years ago. The Mom (35F) went to hospice within the last few weeks

StrangersInTheNight posted:

he gifted her a chore of having to help plan a family trip.

quote:

I (F22) have a sister (F26) who is 36 weeks pregnant. Our grandma (79) is very excited as this is her first great-grandchild. She does however have a history of going too far with certain things. She does not believe in boundaries, such as how my sister has expressed she does not like having her back randomly rubbed. Our grandma insists that she automatically gets to do all she wants as she is the grandmother. She has also bombarded my sister with several questions about the pregnancy, even things my sister did not feel comfortable talking about but insists it's her "right" to know. We've talked to our mom but she just says it's because she's old.

My sister has brought up the plan for her birth. Grandma said she was so excited to witness her great-grandchild be born. My sister apologized profusely and said that she only wanted it to be her and her boyfriend in the delivery room and no one else, not even our mom. She has not felt well her entire pregnancy and knows labor will not be a good time for her and doesn't want people seeing her in such a vulnerable state. For a minute grandma genuinely thought she was joking and got super upset when she realized she was serious. She asked my sister how dare she "deprive" her of the experience of watching the birth of her first great-grandchild. She started crying and went on about how selfish she was. My sister explained time and time again how she wanted her own privacy but grandma said there's no reason privacy should apply to the grandma. This was two weeks ago.

Grandma has since bombarded us, our mom, and my sister's boyfriend with calls and texts demanding she be in the delivery room as it is "her right." (she has a history of playing the "it's my right as the grandmother" card). We saw her again three days ago and she would not let the matter drop. She began crying again saying how dare my sister be so cruel to her own grandmother. My sister was getting so angry and heated and started yelling. I tried the same way as my sister but she would just not listen. It got to the point where I told her "Grandma, you need to stay in your lane. It's her delivery so it's her choice and you have to stop being so entitled." She gasped and burst into tears and hysterics. She asked how dare we treat her so poorly. She's said I have now created a rift between us and her forever. She left and we haven't heard from her since.

My sister is completely on my side and actually thanked me for standing up for her. Our mom however says I was way too harsh and that it was a b\*tch move on my part. Our dad also found out and ripped me to shreds over the phone (parents not together). They both genuinely think I've ruined the relationship for good.

I really need an outside opinion. AITA?

Cowslips Warren posted:

I (40M) Fathered a child during an affair 12 years ago. The Mom (35F) went to hospice within the last few weeks

Crocobile posted:

Get wrecked grandma

Cowslips Warren posted:

I (40M) Fathered a child during an affair 12 years ago. The Mom (35F) went to hospice within the last few weeks

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for backing out of a wedding because they want to screen me?

quote:

I (27f) have been invited by my friend Tom (32M)

quote:

Tom and I met at a party and have been friends for 10 years. He asked me out when we first met

Wicked Them Beats posted:

I cheated on my spouse, but only before we were married, so it doesn't count.

Johnny Truant posted:

op posted:

It was a university party, to be fair. Back then, older guys (much older than 22) were regularly at parties we were at, which is super creepy to think about now.

op posted:

Fwiw, the reason why I was asking was because I said it was making me uncomfortable and he got really defensive about it. He was telling me it was normal and I should stop "being weird" about it. This pissed me off and I decided to take a step back and have a think, so I wanted to make sure I wasn't the one taking it the wrong way.

His family is prone to drama from what I've heard (and witnessed, especially after his recent break up). I think I'm best telling him I'm backing out and not leaving it open to discussion.

Cowslips Warren posted:

I (40M) Fathered a child during an affair 12 years ago. The Mom (35F) went to hospice within the last few weeks

It never really occurred to us that it could be my child. We were using protection most of the time

quote:

I'd like to find a cute gf like that when I can get back to my campus. As a high t white male it has always been my dream to date a 20 something Asian girl who's built like a young girl. Think someone like Shuna Kagami.

I'm kind, smart and like bodybuilding and I think those chicks dig muscular kind guys. So what should my plan of action be? Any recommendations?

Cloacamazing! posted:

So the options are "Get a divorce to take care of the child" and "Raise the child with your family while also stealing all of his money"? What's the reason "Raise the child with your family and don't rob him blind" is out of the running?

Cythereal posted:

Tips for getting a childlike, kind Asian girlfriend?

Ensign Expendable posted:

If you don't monetize your illegitimate children, why even have an affair?

Cowslips Warren posted:

I (40M) Fathered a child during an affair 12 years ago. The Mom (35F) went to hospice within the last few weeks

Donkringel posted:

Is High T(testosterone) a code word for balding?

toplitzin posted:

UPDATE: AITA for telling another gym member to wear a bra?

Hellblazer187 posted:

"Sumo is cheating" is the dumbest thing on earth. It's literally legal under the rules of every powerlifting federation on earth. If it allowed all competitors to lift more weight, then every competitor would do it. The fact that some competitors still lift conventional is proof that sumo doesn't universally allow heavier pulling.

Also most people who lift don't even compete. So cheating is an irrelevant concept.

The reason this became a thing is that a higher proportion of women who compete pull sumo compared to men. So when an instagram lifter lady moves 350+, weak, worthless men have a way to attempt to minimize the accomplishment.

Hellblazer187 posted:

"Sumo is cheating" is the dumbest thing on earth. It's literally legal under the rules of every powerlifting federation on earth. If it allowed all competitors to lift more weight, then every competitor would do it. The fact that some competitors still lift conventional is proof that sumo doesn't universally allow heavier pulling.

Also most people who lift don't even compete. So cheating is an irrelevant concept.

The reason this became a thing is that a higher proportion of women who compete pull sumo compared to men. So when an instagram lifter lady moves 350+, weak, worthless men have a way to attempt to minimize the accomplishment.