Tell Lobster you miss him MEGATHREAAAAAAAAD

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > Tell Lobster you miss him MEGATHREAAAAAAAAD

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Al! posted:

im pretty sure the organ harvest trade would have reversed polarity by now except china doesnt want our diseased, fatty western organs

last i heard they're having their own diabetes epidemic even worse than "western diet" countries

# ? Oct 19, 2023 20:56

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 12, 2024 20:45

aw frig aw dang it: Jun 1, 2018

smarxist posted:

me, staring at 53 regulations for warhammer league figure regalia and trying to see how i'm going to get a totenkopf skull on my Sisters Of Imperial Mercy healing unit

# ? Oct 19, 2023 20:56

AnimeIsTrash: Jun 30, 2018

DaysBefore posted:

There was an even longer one (didn't read it) on the page before

Note this all because of the little stickers that come with the viking themed Space Marines

a while back wotc "banned" a few cards, and there was this well known vintage player who had a meltdown about wotc trying to delete "his culture". he stopped playing shortly after

https://magic.wizards.com/en/news/announcements/depictions-racism-magic-2020-06-10

# ? Oct 19, 2023 20:59

Al!: Apr 2, 2010

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

last i heard they're having their own diabetes epidemic even worse than "western diet" countries

wouldnt surprise me. glycemic index wise rice hovers somewhere around the same level as chocolate cake

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:02

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

AnimeIsTrash posted:

a while back wotc "banned" a few cards, and there was this well known vintage player who had a meltdown about wotc trying to delete "his culture". he stopped playing shortly after

https://magic.wizards.com/en/news/announcements/depictions-racism-magic-2020-06-10

the card Cleanse is included because the text reads "destroy all black creatures"

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:03

16-bit Butt-Head: Dec 25, 2014

lol every time when i see that invoke prejudice card id was 1488 and its card art is a klansman

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:04

DaysBefore: Jan 24, 2019

AnimeIsTrash posted:

a while back wotc "banned" a few cards, and there was this well known vintage player who had a meltdown about wotc trying to delete "his culture". he stopped playing shortly after

https://magic.wizards.com/en/news/announcements/depictions-racism-magic-2020-06-10

Lmfao

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:04

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

go look up the artist, dude has straightup nazi poo poo on his site gallery

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:04

Lpzie: Nov 20, 2006

Invoke P

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:06

16-bit Butt-Head: Dec 25, 2014

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

go look up the artist, dude has straightup nazi poo poo on his site gallery

he's a white supramacist and snuck it in all of his mtg work which is why all his cards are banned now

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:06

Feels Villeneuve: Oct 7, 2007; Setter is Better.

AnimeIsTrash posted:

a while back wotc "banned" a few cards, and there was this well known vintage player who had a meltdown about wotc trying to delete "his culture". he stopped playing shortly after

https://magic.wizards.com/en/news/announcements/depictions-racism-magic-2020-06-10

meanwhile in yugioh

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:06

16-bit Butt-Head: Dec 25, 2014

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:07

KirbyKhan: Mar 20, 2009; Soiled Meat

aw frig aw dang it posted:

like half the tradgames forums posts exactly like that

It owns

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:08

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

16-bit Butt-Head posted:

he's a white supramacist and snuck it in all of his mtg work which is why all his cards are banned now

yeppp

ol boy's got one that's just hitler as jesus

like, come on

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:08

Feels Villeneuve: Oct 7, 2007; Setter is Better.

im going to cancel the late beloved yugioh creator, kazuki takahashi

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:09

DaysBefore: Jan 24, 2019

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

yeppp

ol boy's got one that's just hitler as jesus

like, come on

Sounds like an ally, someone buy him an account and free the Hitler thread asap

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:10

16-bit Butt-Head: Dec 25, 2014

kaiba playing antisemitism and then getting escorted out of the tournament

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:11

Feels Villeneuve: Oct 7, 2007; Setter is Better.

blue eyes blond dragon

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:11

FirstnameLastname: Jul 10, 2022

Feels Villeneuve posted:

blue eyes blond dragon

Lol

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:12

DaysBefore: Jan 24, 2019

Going to a Magic Tournament in New Jersey and playing the ultrapowerful Filthy Wop card. Find my body two days later in a swamp outside Atlantic City

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:12

tristeham: Jul 31, 2022

Feels Villeneuve posted:

blue eyes blond dragon

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:14

Homeless Friend: Jul 16, 2007

Al! posted:

i bet i cheered on those two kids getting blasted in the cool zone

no doubt some of cspams problematic faves are in there. and thats why its time to bring it back

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:15

16-bit Butt-Head: Dec 25, 2014

Feels Villeneuve posted:

blue eyes blond dragon

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:15

aw frig aw dang it: Jun 1, 2018

Feels Villeneuve posted:

blue eyes blond dragon

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:16

smarxist: Jul 26, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

slamming down a Walther PPK card and banishing Hitler to the Cool Zone

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:16

AnimeIsTrash: Jun 30, 2018

Feels Villeneuve posted:

blue eyes blond dragon

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:17

Homeless Friend: Jul 16, 2007

how are you doing, fellow chuds?

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:18

DaysBefore: Jan 24, 2019

Homeless Friend posted:

how are you doing, fellow chuds?

Good thanks for asking :)

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:19

16-bit Butt-Head: Dec 25, 2014

going undercover to the chud kumite

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:19

Feels Villeneuve: Oct 7, 2007; Setter is Better.

# ? Oct 19, 2023 21:19

Vox Nihili: May 28, 2008

in case anyone didn't read the SAD thread

Junpei posted:

Okay, since things can get hairy, I'm going to give you my tactics nerd side and list the 36 Strategems, which might be able to help anyone going to a protest with some tips for deception and planning and stuff.

Strategems When Commanding Superiority
1. Deceive the heavens and cross the ocean: Mask your real goals with a fake goal until your aims are achieved; the enemy will be so annoyed with the constant false alarms that they will ignore you once you make your real move. (This rule is also used as a Chinese idiom for "to pull the wool over someone's eyes".)
2. Besiege Wei to rescue Zhao: Avoid a head-on battle with a strong enemy, and instead strike at his weakness (for example, a weaker ally) elsewhere. The name came from Qi forcing Wei's army to retreat from laying siege to Zhao's capital by laying siege to Wei's capital in 354-353BC.
3. Kill With a Borrowed Knife: Cause damage to the enemy by getting a third party to do the deed or causing an Enemy Civil War.
4. Substitute Leisure for Labor: Have your troops well-prepared for battle, in the same time that the enemy is rushing to fight against you, ideally resulting in their exhausted troops running into your fresh soldiers on the terms of your choosing.
5. Loot a Burning House: The best time to attack an opponent is when they have their own problems to deal with. Though he who loots a burning house should be careful lest he becomes trapped inside.
6. Clamor in the East, Attack in the West: Get the enemy to focus his forces elsewhere, and then attack a position that would be weakly defended.

Stratagems for Confrontation
7. Create Something from Nothing: Make somebody believe there was something when there is in fact nothing, or vice versa (i.e. lie like a rug). The general idea is that having fallen for a trick once or twice, an enemy will be unwilling to fall for your trick a third time - so that's when you should actually attack.
8. Openly Repair the Walkway, but Sneak through the passage of Chencang: Deceive the enemy with an obvious approach that will take a very long time, while surprising him by taking a shortcut and sneaking upon him. Another interpretation is the Kansas City Shuffle � Distract the enemy with an "obvious" attempt at deception in order to conceal yet another ploy from their attention. The name originated from a real-life example during the Chu-Han War around 200 B.C. At that time, Liu Bang is preparing to mobilize his army from modern-day Chengdu and the only way to access the rest of the area is a Walkway they burned several years earlier to prevent any invasion. Xiang Yu send his forces to the other side of the passage so that they are ready to face them as soon as the construction is completed. However, the repairing is a ploy to lure Xiang Yu's attention and he took a difficult route to unguarded Chencang, thereby preventing a premature annihilation of his army.
9. Observe the Fire from the Opposite Shore, or Sit on the Mountain and Watch the Tigers Fight: Delay entering the field of battle until all the other players have become exhausted fighting amongst themselves, then go in at full strength and pick up the pieces.
10. Hide a Knife behind a Smile: Charm and endear yourself to your enemy. When you have gained his trust, move against him in secret. (This rule is also used as a Chinese idiom for someone who constantly betrays others.)
11. Sacrifice the Plum Tree to Preserve the Peach Tree: Sacrifice short-term objectives in order to gain the long-term goal. (Peaches are associated with immortality; see eg. Journey to the West.)
12. Take the Opportunity to Pilfer a Goat: While carrying out your plans, be flexible enough to take advantage of any opportunity that presents itself, however small, and avail yourself of any profit, however slight. (This is also used as an idiom for stealing from the till or the five-finger discount.)

Stratagems for Attack
13. Beat the Grass to Startle the Snake: Do something without aim, but make it so spectacular to provoke a response of the enemy, thereby giving away his plans or position, or just taunt him. Do something unusual, strange, and unexpected as this will arouse the enemy's suspicion and disrupt his thinking. However, an imprudent act will give your position or intentions away to the enemy.
14. Borrow a Corpse to Resurrect the Soul: Revive something from the past by giving it a new purpose, or reinterpret it to your advantage.
15. Lure the Tiger Down From the Mountain: Lure an opponent away from his field of advantage, thus separating him from his source of strength.
16. To Catch Something, First Set it Free: Cornered prey will often mount a final desperation attack; to prevent this, you let the enemy believe he still has a chance for freedom. May also take the form of a Trick-and-Follow Ploy, where letting an enemy go and observing their subsequent actions may give you more information about their capabilities and intentions.
17. Toss out a Brick to attract Jade: Bait someone by making him believe he gains something or just make him react to it and obtain something valuable from him in return.
18. To Capture the Bandits, capture their Leader: If the enemy's army is strong but is allied to the commander only by money or threats, then take aim at the leader; the rest of the army will disperse or come over to your side. If, however, they are allied to the leader through loyalty, then beware, the army can continue to fight on after his death out of vengeance.

Stratagems for Confused Situations
19. Steal the Firewood from under the Pot: Take out the leading argument or asset of your target, denying your enemy the resources needed to oppose you.
20. Stir up the Waters to catch a Fish: Create confusion and use this confusion to further your own goals.
21. Slough off the Cicada's Golden Shell: Create an illusion to fit your goals and distract others. (A secondary meaning for this rule would be Faking the Dead.)
22. Shut the Door to catch the Thief: If you have the chance to completely capture the enemy then you should do so, thereby bringing the battle or war to a quick and lasting conclusion.
23. Befriend a Distant State while attacking a Neighbour: When you are the strongest in one field, your greatest threat is from the second strongest in your field, not the strongest from another field, and thus the distant neighbor will make a good ally, however temporary.
24. Obtain Safe Passage to conquer the state of Guo: Borrow the resources of an ally to attack a common enemy. Once the enemy is defeated, use those resources to turn on the ally that lent you them in the first place. This comes from Jin's conquest of the states of Guo and Yu by bribing Yu's ruler to obtain a safe passage for Jin forces to conquer Guo in 658BC. Without Guo's protection, Yu was in turn conquered by Jin in 655BC.

Stratagems for Gaining Ground
25. Replace the Beams with Rotten Timbers: Disrupt the enemy's formations, interfere with their methods of operations, change the rules which they are used to following, go contrary to their standard training.
26. Point at the Mulberry tree, but curse the Locust: To discipline, control, or warn others whose status or position excludes them from direct confrontation; use analogy and innuendo. Without directly naming names, those accused cannot retaliate without revealing their complicity.
27. Feign Madness but Keep your Balance: Hide behind the mask of a fool, a drunk, or a madman to create confusion about your intentions and motivations.
28. Lure them onto the Roof, then take away the Ladder: With baits and deceptions, lure your enemy into treacherous terrain, then cut off his lines of communication and avenue of escape; to save himself, he must fight both your own forces and the elements of nature.
29. Deck the Tree with False Blossoms: Through the use of artifice and disguise, make something of no value appear valuable; of no threat appear dangerous; of no use appear useful.
30. Exchange the roles of Host and Guest: Usurp leadership in a situation where you are normally subordinate. Infiltrate your target. Initially, pretend to be a guest to be accepted, but develop from inside and become the owner later.

Stratagems for Desperate Straits
31. The Beauty Trap: Send your enemy beautiful women to cause discord within his camp. This strategy can work on three levels: First, the ruler becomes so enamored with the beauty that he neglects his duties and allows his vigilance to wane; second, other males at court will begin to display aggressive behavior that inflames minor differences hindering co-operation and destroying morale; third, other females at court, motivated by jealousy and envy, begin to plot intrigues, further exacerbating the situation.
32. The Empty Fort Strategy: When the enemy is superior in numbers and your situation is such that you expect to be overrun at any moment, then drop all pretense of military preparedness and act calmly so that the enemy will think you have hidden reserves and want to trap them into the fort.
33. Let the Enemy's own spy sow discord in the Enemy camp: Undermine your enemy's intelligence-gathering abilities by using his own spies against him or planting your own agents among his.
34. Injure yourself to gain the Enemy's trust: Pretending to be injured has two possible applications. In the first, the enemy is lulled into relaxing his guard since he no longer considers you to be an immediate threat. The second is a way of endearing yourself to your enemy by pretending the injury was caused by a mutual enemy.
35. Chain Stratagems: In important matters, one should use several stratagems applied simultaneously after another as in a chain of stratagems. Keep different plans operating in an overall scheme; however, in this manner if any one strategy fails, then the chain breaks and the whole scheme fails.
36. If all else fails, Retreat: The best battle is one fought with your side never having to mobilize, but if it becomes obvious that your current course of action will lead to defeat, then retreat and regroup. Probably the most famous of all the stratagems, to the point that the phrase 'Stratagem 36' in Chinese parlance is equivalent to 'get out of Dodge' in American colloquialism.