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Punkin Spunkin posted:So jinx totally got killed by the cia and replaced right? There's supposedly been a new jinx/crack connoisseur for a while but he's noticeably different in style/content and a thousand percent less good. both iterations are dipshits
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Oct 26, 2023 21:57
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| # ? May 25, 2024 17:33 |
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He means Jinx from Teen Titans
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Oct 26, 2023 22:14
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i say swears online posted:liberty university lol scarier than the school of the americas
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Oct 26, 2023 23:27
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KORNOLOGY posted:He means Jinx from Teen Titans thank you
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Oct 26, 2023 23:34
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https://twitter.com/seinfelddahog/status/1717432439352529174?s=20
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Oct 26, 2023 23:44
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Oct 27, 2023 00:01
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   Hollywood: still out of ideas? How about another black-guy-meets-white-guy comedy?  Am I the only one who would rather be shot in the face than see another black-guy meets white-guy comedy? It seems like every other month Hollywood blows its load on another one of these black-meets-white crap-a-thons. The plot usually boils down to:-There is a terrorist organization / Kingpin / Evil Rabbi who is planning to blow-up a yacht full of nuns / assassinate a congressman / conspire with aliens and the only people in the universe who can stop them are a rich, upper-class white cop and a sassy black detective with street smarts. -They team up due to uncontrollable circumstances and find themselves in many awkward but hilarious situations. For example, there's always the scene where the two cops are in the same car and one of them starts to listen to either rap or country, and the other one has culture shock and acts as if they've never heard of AN ENTIRE GENRE OF POPULAR MUSIC BEFORE. They fiddle around with the radio back and forth and slap each others' hands like a couple of patsies until they finally either break the radio or turn it off. -There's always a solid 15 minutes devoted to what can best be described as cultural show-and-tell where the two cops teach each other how things are done their own respective ways. A typical scene would be to have the white guy trying to pick a lock and the black guy uses his street smarts to bust the door open. There's always some dumbass in the audience who laughs during this part which pisses me off.  -The chase scene where they come oh-so-close to capturing the bad guy, but conveniently lose him at the 40 minute mark so they have another 45 minutes to jerk us around with depressing filler about the characters' backgrounds. The black guy always has a girlfriend or wife who is killed, and then the audience is expected to overlook all the stereotypes built into the character and say "woah this character is pretty deep." The white guy gains a new perspective and respect for his urban partner.-THEN SOMETHING OR SOMEONE SUDDENLY EXPLODES TO INTERRUPT THE SCENE BECAUSE IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO TRANSITION INTO ANYTHING MEANINGFUL SINCE THEY'VE COMPLETELY LOST THE AUDIENCE AT THIS POINT. -15 minutes left in the movie, they start to drop hints about where the final showdown will take place, which is unnecessary because it's always in an abandoned warehouse or a steel mill, or an abandoned warehouse inside a steel mill. -Bad guy gets killed, but not before wounding the black cop in the shoulder and the white cop in the leg. Just as the bad guy has his dying breath, the entire police force / CIA / swat team arrives to clean up and "take over from here." With 5 minutes left in the movie, the two characters reflect on what a great team they make despite their obvious differences, and they end with some patronizing message about black people being able to get along with white people in typical GI Joe "today's-lesson" fashion. The movie fades as they show the white cop dancing to rap music to symbolize his new cultural understanding. I feel sorry for the actors who are all usually very talented, but somehow got sucked into doing another cliched cop movie.  Possibly the only thing worse than black-guy-meets-white-guy movies are east-meets-west movies. Replace every black stereotype with an asian stereotype and you have your typical kung-fu action comedy. Tired. They sometimes try to market these movies as "suspense thrillers." What the hell is a suspense thriller? When you go to the rental store, do you ever say to yourself "I'm in the mood for a suspense thriller?" No, because if you did you'd look like an rear end in a top hat. It's one of those bullshit buzz phrases marketing people use to hype up a movie so gullible suckers like you will see it. Any movie that contains any of the following phrases during the previews is bullshit:-Suspense Thriller -Psychological Thriller -Feel good -Romantic -Heart-warming -Powerful -Coming of age drama -One of the best movies this year How can a movie be "one of the best"? There's only one "best" movie, so saying something is "one of the best" is stupid and doesn't make sense. Technically any movie that's not the worst could be considered "one of the best." Imagine that, another empty phrase used by marketing people. I want to punch someone in the throat.    935,680 people hate movie stereotypes but are just too stupid to recognize them.
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Oct 27, 2023 00:12
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Blue Streak and Nothing To Lose are good. Caught NTL on Bounce TV the other night.
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Oct 27, 2023 00:29
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Oct 27, 2023 01:36
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Oct 27, 2023 01:36
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Oct 27, 2023 01:37
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these chocolate chip pancakes came out awful. it's like food made by someone who's watched a lot of cooking shows but never eaten anything other than flavorless nutrient paste
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Oct 27, 2023 01:50
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Oct 27, 2023 01:50
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I owned that book.
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Oct 27, 2023 03:10
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Zurtilik posted:I owned that book. how manly are you
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Oct 27, 2023 03:50
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ram dass in hell posted:fantastic twitter acct lol https://twitter.com/CJay_224/status/1717191704137154808?s=20
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Oct 27, 2023 05:49
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Say what you will about DDR, they did some great work supporting artists
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Oct 27, 2023 06:25
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Zurtilik posted:I owned that book. I made a fake email mimicking the editor of my college paper to get a press copy
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Oct 27, 2023 07:26
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FRENCH BELIEBERS
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Oct 27, 2023 13:26
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 Here's a little secret that might piss off credit card companies and potentially get them to stop harassing you with upwards of 20 credit card applications per week. Some people have known this for years, and since a fair amount of people will read this I feel that it's my duty and obligation to share this secret with you, because based on the email I've received, I don't always get the sharpest tools in the shed reading my site (as opposed to the regular tools who read this site). For the slow: I'm saying that you're stupid and wouldn't come up with this idea on your own; pay attention. There are two types of junk mail that everyone gets: coupons for stupid bullshit that you don't want, and credit card applications for credit to buy stupid bullshit that you don't need. Here's how to take care of all your junk mail in one fell swoop: use the postage-paid envelope that credit card companies send you with their applications to send them the OTHER junk mail you receive. It's just that simple. Imagine the frustration of credit card companies when they have to spend millions of dollars every year on first-class postage just to open up an envelope and find Pizza Hut coupons inside. The envelopes are intended to be used for "BUSINESS REPLY MAIL," and so use them for their intended purpose. You're sending them valuable money-saving coupons which could mean big savings to credit card companies, and it makes good business sense to use them. Consider it a reply to their business proposition with a business proposition of your own: 35 cents off a large, one-topping pizza. In fact, they should be thanking you for giving them these money-saving opportunities. Or how about sending them credit card applications from other credit card companies? Be creative.  Not only will you be pissing off the credit card companies by wasting their time and money (since they have to spend time opening all your mail), but you'll also be pissing off all the other companies that send you junk mail: Pizza Hut, McDonalds, Burger King, Papa John's and endless AT&T and AOL "free trial" offers (although I do admit that the free trial CDs make great coasters). This is of course only true if the credit card companies don't have the business sense to use your valuable coupons, and if they did then everyone would be happy. Consider it an added bonus for your efforts to frustrate the mafia-like credit card companies. They'll do anything short of giving you head to get you to join, and I'm sure they haven't thrown out that idea entirely (Star Trek fans rejoice). Canceling is a bitch because they always try to "cross-sell" when you call in, even when you call to terminate your service. Cross-selling is when credit card or phone companies try to sell you junk in addition to what you ordered because they're greedy assholes and want to charge you as much as they can with every transaction they make. Ever call in to order something over the phone and the representative tries to sell you a service that is "free for the first three months"? That's a cross-sell. They're trying to get you to sign up for some useless service that will be billed to your credit card long after you've forgotten to cancel after your "free" three month trial period. What a crock. What more: every time you sign up for a credit card, the credit card company gives your name to telemarketers (unless they explicitly state that they don't). Telemarketers then call to sell you a service that the credit card companies pay them to sell to you. That's not even the worst: phone companies sell you services to block telemarketers, then they bypass their own filters to have telemarketers call you to sell you more products from the same company. So it's time to grow a pair and fight back. If you've ever been annoyed with their junk mail, send it back to them with some junk mail of your own. What can the credit card companies do? They only have two options: 1. Stop sending postage paid envelopes--unlikely since they know they'll lose a lot of applications if people are expected to pay for their own postage. 2. Stop harassing you with an endless flow of credit card applications. They can't do anything about it because this is simply your way of telling them you're not interested, and giving them valuable coupons that could save them a lot of money, so spread the word: junk the junk. 1,192,426 credit card companies are pissed because they can't harass people anymore.
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Oct 27, 2023 14:31
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https://twitter.com/kthorjensen/status/1717927245476745621?s=20
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Oct 27, 2023 17:35
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Jabberlock posted:how manly are you I bought it and now I'm a woman
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Oct 27, 2023 19:58
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Oct 27, 2023 20:23
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  Until recently, I didn't think anyone liked Bush. All of this changed a few months ago when I spoke to someone who not only didn't think Bush was a moron, but that he was doing a good job. I did the usual probes for sarcasm and eventually came away empty-handed. It looked like this was the genuine article: Hardon for war I was talking to an authentic Bush-lover. For the first time in the 2+ years he was appointed to office, I finally found one of these elusive, almost mythic people. I was excited, so naturally I had to ask the obvious question: "why did you vote for Bush?" The response: "because I'm a republican." I suddenly felt a sharp stabbing pain in my frontal lobe; it was the unmistakable feeling you get when you walk away from a 30 minute conversation with a yammering co-worker--the feeling you get when you know that you just got dumber. Because "I'm a republican." What the hell does that mean? So just because you're a republican you're supposed to vote for whichever rear end in a top hat your party selects as your candidate? Why can't people disassociate themselves from their party? There was a unanimous outcry from everyone when dumb poo poo Trent Lott gave the thumbs up to Thurmond, why weren't republicans supporting him? If you're going to justify your voting of a moron into office with a blanket statement like "I'm a republican," why not be consistent and stand behind your party all the time? I'm tired of people defending Bush. He's a moron. Period. What difference does it make if he graduated from Harvard, Yale or MIT for that matter? Just because you graduate from an accredited university doesn't mean that you're suddenly void of giving a bad speech. It doesn't make you impervious to mistakes. I'm tired of people saying "just because he talks slow doesn't mean he's stupid." Bullshit. There's talking slow, then there's just plain ineptitude. It's almost impossible to do a critical analysis of his speech because the man practically satirizes himself. Bush proponents have adopted a kinder word for inept: "Bushism." That's stupid. Why is it a screw up if anyone other than Bush makes a mistake, but a "Bushism" if he does it? When Clinton screwed up, nobody called it a "Clintonism." They called him a dumbass (and if they weren't, I sure as hell was). I mean, talking slow is one thing but to not know the difference between "hostile" and "hostage," or "prosecute" and "persecute" is not a "Bushism," it's extra-strength dumb. Before you email me "BUT MADOX HE DOESN'T WRITE HIS OWN SPEECHES LOL," consider the following quote: "People make suggestions on what to say all the time. I'll give you an example; I don't read what's handed to me. People say, 'Here, here's your speech, or here's an idea for a speech.' They're changed. Trust me." -George W. Bush in an interview with the New York Times, March 15, 2000. For some reason I trust him. Okay, so maybe I'm being too hard on the guy. After all, he was appointed as the leader of this country. So here are all the things that Bush has done to impress the hell out of me:  He hasn't started World War III yet. He manages to mutilate the English language only every other speech. He cut taxes on dividends, because I'll be damned if those weren't putting me in the poor house. He made our civil liberties less cumbersome by taking away all that long-winded drivel about having the right to report on immigration hearings conducted by the Justice Department, the right to protection against unreasonable search and seizure with McCarthy's, er, Ashcroft's PATRIOT act, and the right to due process for US citizens suspected of being terrorists. He withdrew from the Anti-Ballistic Missile treaty. Good I say, global stability was getting to be a pain in the rear end. All sarcasm aside, you could probably infer that I'm not a republican by reading this article. I'm not a democrat either. Don't email me your stupid republican/democrat jokes, I don't care. The next person who says "HEY MADDOX YOU KNOW WHAT GOP STANDS FOR? GRINCHES ON PARADE LOL" gets punched in the face. No, I'm not a democrat or a republican. I'm just a guy who's tired of the bullshit. Am I the only one who has a problem with the fact that Bush has gone on record saying: "There ought to be limits to freedom"? He publicly said that in reference to a website that criticized him (listen to the clip yourself). What business does this man have serving as president of the United States? I know that there should be limits to freedom like when someone yells "fire" in a crowded theater, but never against political criticism--quit emailing me. Bush is by far the worst president ever appointed by the Supreme Court. It's almost as if the presidents try to outdo each other by being shittier every year. You're being duped. Note: before you send me hate mail, let me know if you're a monster truck rally fan in the subject line so I can ignore your opinions more conveniently. Thanks. 1,037,623 Bush advocates agree: there ought to be limits to freedom.
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Oct 27, 2023 20:28
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My theory is that most cryptid sightings are really just gimp sightings
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Oct 27, 2023 20:31
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AnimeIsTrash posted:No, I'm not a democrat or a republican. I'm just a guy who's tired of the bullshit. freaking SAME, brother
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Oct 27, 2023 20:31
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Friend of mine bought weed with loving fungus on it about 20m left of that pic. Berlin drugs suck bring your own
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Oct 27, 2023 22:24
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Pretty sad fall from Joy Division.
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Oct 27, 2023 22:26
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Love this one.
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Oct 28, 2023 02:39
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tbf how many mass shootings did the gimp do this week
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Oct 28, 2023 05:03
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lol
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Oct 28, 2023 05:21
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Moot .1415926535 posted:tbf how many mass shootings did the gimp do this week But he implicitly does a weird sex thing, that's worse!
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Oct 28, 2023 06:11
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AnimeIsTrash posted:
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Oct 28, 2023 07:14
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Video Games Thx posted:My theory is that most cryptid sightings are really just gimp sightings I've already booked my tickets hoping to catch a glimpse of the elusive world famous Somerset gimp
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Oct 28, 2023 10:21
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Moot .1415926535 posted:tbf how many mass shootings did the gimp do this week Historically this has only happened once (American Horror Story is a docuseries right)
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Oct 28, 2023 15:11
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Honestly AIT's new gimmick is downright tolerable.
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Oct 28, 2023 18:34
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ikanreed posted:Honestly AIT's new gimmick is downright tolerable. Actually, it feels like the most awesome thing in the universe
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Oct 28, 2023 19:31
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it's not really a gimmick... he's just posting things in the thread
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Oct 28, 2023 20:31
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Regarde Aduck posted:it's not really a gimmick... he's just posting things in the thread Don't gaslight your fellow posters
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Oct 28, 2023 21:35
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| # ? May 25, 2024 17:33 |
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Greeting cards you wish you could buy. I hate holidays just as much as every other red-blooded American. Not because I get time off of work and school, but because of all the bullshit that comes along with it. You have to separate your friends into categories, go shopping for hours and if you're really having a lovely day, you might even have to spend some time with your family. I know. Here are the categories most people separate their friends into: Tier 1: these are your "close" friends, you always have to buy them the real gifts. If you don't, you might as well get new friends because the bitching and sulking won't be worth it. The rule of thumb here is to find something that you really want, then spend 10 times as much on your friends in hopes that someone will buy it for you. You can not under any circumstance buy this for yourself, you'll screw everything up and then you're up to your neck in moping assholes. Tier 2: Co-workers. You see them every day and it's almost like a membership club. You don't really give a poo poo what they think, but you want to renew your membership anyway to keep things running smooth. The price? Relatively cheap: a candy bar or a greeting card. Can easily add up, try to work at a job with few if any co-workers. Tier 3: These are your back-up friends. They're people you either went to school with or worked with, and every once in a while when you're desperate you'll hang out with them. You don't really have the best chemistry and they sometimes cling to you for a couple of weeks, it's not worth it. Best to avoid, but if you have no choice, buy them a card and get it over with. My problem is that I can never find the type of card I want to give to someone, so I've created these greeting cards for all occasions to give to your friends and family. These are greeting cards you wish you could buy: Click on the card to see inside: (If the images don't appear, click here.) Perfect for people who give you cheap gifts:  Perfect for thanksgiving:  What better way to break the news:  When your friend hits the jackpot or wins the lottery:  All purpose:  That pube one is most effectively used if you rake your patch inside the card. Go crazy with it, take a picture of the card down your pants before you give it to them! Girls will especially love this card because if you can't give something from the heart, the next best thing is to give something from the crotch. Enjoy. 1,240,929 people wish they could buy cards that express how they really feel.
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Oct 28, 2023 22:04
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