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Oh dang, oh man, gonna cum! *sonic_rings.wav*
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# ? Nov 7, 2023 22:44 |
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# ? Jun 5, 2024 08:18 |
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I know you guys are rightfully credulous, but Reddit relationship posts are full of some absolutely wild poo poo from people who have strange ideas that would have been sounded off on and corrected by close friends before the existence of the internet, but which end up getting posted for thousands to read now that Reddit exists. It's how you end up with a woman thinking men have barbs on their dicks and that sex hurts all the way up to her wedding reception. Or how you have a guy asking Reddit whether every family keeps a poop knife over their toilet, etc etc.
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# ? Nov 7, 2023 22:50 |
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Anonymous Zebra posted:I know you guys are rightfully credulous, but Reddit relationship posts are full of some absolutely wild poo poo from people who have strange ideas that would have been sounded off on and corrected by close friends before the existence of the internet, but which end up getting posted for thousands to read now that Reddit exists. It's how you end up with a woman thinking men have barbs on their dicks and that sex hurts all the way up to her wedding reception. Or how you have a guy asking Reddit whether every family keeps a poop knife over their toilet, etc etc. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWyCCJ6B2WE
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# ? Nov 7, 2023 22:52 |
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Kit Walker posted:Yeah I dunno, I imagine if you're having any kind of sex at all with someone with a dick you'd probably find out pretty quickly what masturbation and ejaculation must sound like. The camsite theory is just something other posters came up with, but I imagine if it's playing loud enough it's waking up babies the next room over, you'd also be able to hear the actual performer making noise. Also I refuse to believe there's a teen that's dumb enough to watch porn with the sound on regularly while their guardians are home
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# ? Nov 7, 2023 22:56 |
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Maybe his balls are made of metal and they clank together when he jacks it
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# ? Nov 7, 2023 23:29 |
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People accusing me of masturbation when I'm actually just torquing my Baoding balls.
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# ? Nov 7, 2023 23:34 |
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Anonymous Zebra posted:I know you guys are rightfully credulous, but Reddit relationship posts are full of some absolutely wild poo poo from people who have strange ideas that would have been sounded off on and corrected by close friends before the existence of the internet, but which end up getting posted for thousands to read now that Reddit exists. It's how you end up with a woman thinking men have barbs on their dicks and that sex hurts all the way up to her wedding reception. Or how you have a guy asking Reddit whether every family keeps a poop knife over their toilet, etc etc. or it's fiction for idiots
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# ? Nov 7, 2023 23:38 |
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# ? Nov 7, 2023 23:41 |
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ChubbyChecker posted:or it's fiction for idiots Possibly, but on the other hand, even otherwise intelligent people seem to always have massive blind spots of information. Sperm shooting out in full plate armor is a new one for me, though.
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 00:10 |
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ChubbyChecker posted:or it's fiction for idiots Don’t sign your posts
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 00:10 |
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The kid is sitting on the toilet jacking off and the clinking sound is the seat or lid or something hitting the porcelain. It's like none of you have ever had sex in a bed with a headboard.
Splicer has a new favorite as of 00:44 on Nov 8, 2023 |
# ? Nov 8, 2023 00:40 |
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Dozens of goons now getting a thousand yard stare as they realise their various jacking locations weren't nearly as stealthy as they thought. Yeah, your family knew. They always knew.
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 00:42 |
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I think the reason that Reddit post is so perennial is that it always gets people so invested in WTF the sound she was describing is. It's maddening, and people get really invested in their theories of what she meant.
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 00:43 |
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 00:43 |
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Inceltown posted:The r/r thread eventually puzzled it out to be the noise you hear when someone tips a camgirl iirc.
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 00:44 |
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DACK FAYDEN posted:wtf my guess all this time has been "he had a belt buckle clinking against a bathroom tile floor" Remember when reddit "puzzled out" who the Boston bomber was.
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 00:46 |
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HPanda posted:And her assumption was that men cum quarters I guess? And she just never thought maybe that’s incorrect. Metal shoots out of me, but that's because I do a guttural black metal growl
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 00:50 |
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Anonymous Zebra posted:I think the reason that Reddit post is so perennial is that it always gets people so invested in WTF the sound she was describing is. It's maddening, and people get really invested in their theories of what she meant. Like this is either incredibly obvious or I pity your poor, hopefully deaf parents.
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 00:56 |
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This thread is like that story of the deaf kids finding out that farts make noise.
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 00:59 |
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Splicer posted:This thread is like that story of the deaf kids finding out that farts make noise. lol
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 00:59 |
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smdh if ur teenage wanking habits have not permanently broken your sexual expression so that it's like loving a particularly unemotive sack of rocks.
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 01:00 |
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Splicer posted:There's nothing to puzzle out! If you're doing repetitive vigorous motion on something with moving parts then it makes noise. She's used to the slight sounds of someone being stealthy with the occasional "...poo poo did anyone hear that?" pause and was unprepared for the frantic no holds barred flailing of a kid who's too horny to realise how much noise he's making. Well now I’m just concerned you were flailing around like an excited muppet while doing your thing as a kid.
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 01:03 |
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OwlFancier posted:When you nut it sounds like a fusilier regiment firing a volley. Don't jizz until you see the whites of their eyes!
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 01:13 |
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OwlFancier posted:smdh if ur teenage wanking habits have not permanently broken your sexual expression so that it's like loving a particularly unemotive sack of rocks. why do you think they call it "getting your rocks off"?
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 01:14 |
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I have serious doubts that both the husband and the kid clank poo poo around carelessly while jerking dong and then think it’s abnormal that anyone would hear and be bothered. That doesn’t make any more sense than the other theories. I’m aware that bed and fixtures etc make noise when jostled, which is why if I was dicking hand I wouldn’t do it that way, especially after specific complaints about it
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 01:31 |
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gleich
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 01:33 |
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Hyperlynx posted:Don't jizz until you see the whites of their eyes! Hold! Hold!! HOLD!!!!
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 01:35 |
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Splicer posted:There's nothing to puzzle out! If you're doing repetitive vigorous motion on something with moving parts then it makes noise. She's used to the slight sounds of someone being stealthy with the occasional "...poo poo did anyone hear that?" pause and was unprepared for the frantic no holds barred flailing of a kid who's too horny to realise how much noise he's making. See, I'd argue that most dudes are mystical ninjas when it comes to jerking it, basically making no sound at all in the process. Especially if you live in a very small house with a large family, where you need to stealth masturbate. What makes that post so funny is not that she says that he makes noise while jacking off, but that specifically his ejaculation sounds like coins falling into a jar and that the same is true for her husband. It's an incredibly bizarre post, which very well may be just a really good troll, and that's why so many people get wrapped up in trying to decode it. It's very similar to that other pre-Reddit thread from ages ago where some kid is outraged while trying to describe his mother taking his sister and himself to the doctor to weigh them by dipping them in tubs of water. I remember that thread breaking people too, because it feels like you're trying to decode a mystery but the OP is doing nothing to clarify their bizarre statements.
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 01:57 |
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Anonymous Zebra posted:See, I'd argue that most dudes are mystical ninjas when it comes to jerking it, basically making no sound at all in the process. Especially if you live in a very small house with a large family, where you need to stealth masturbate. What makes that post so funny is not that she says that he makes noise while jacking off, but that specifically his ejaculation sounds like coins falling into a jar and that the same is true for her husband. It's an incredibly bizarre post, which very well may be just a really good troll, and that's why so many people get wrapped up in trying to decode it. Or actively making it worse. That post always read to me like the very specific method of explaining things that my autistic cousin would use when he was younger
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 02:02 |
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Anonymous Zebra posted:It's very similar to that other pre-Reddit thread from ages ago where some kid is outraged while trying to describe his mother taking his sister and himself to the doctor to weigh them by dipping them in tubs of water. I remember that thread breaking people too, because it feels like you're trying to decode a mystery but the OP is doing nothing to clarify their bizarre statements. Too good not to repost the original (from the IGN boards): Wow, I cannot believe my mom stooped so low... quote:My mom called my doctor and said to him "What's the most accurate measurement for weighing?" quote:My sister had to wear pants and a bra, so she enjoyed minutes of going underwater. quote:You want a detailed summary of what happened today? Alright, here goes: quote:My sister constantly talks about her hair. "Should I wash it?" "Should I pull my hair up or leave it down?" Stuff like that. quote:To answer you question, before my sister and I got into the tank, the doctor did a basic weight test then I got into the tank and did some breathing excerises to see how my lungs would be situated underwater. Then the doctor took the temperature of the water inside the tank. After I taken my underwater tests, I had to stick my head underwater for 8 seconds and it was done. 30 minutes its all it take. quote:About the topic title: quote:About the hair: It goes on and on, with the OP (attempting to) answer questions and the rest of the thread getting infinitely baffled.
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 02:24 |
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Anonymous Zebra posted:See, I'd argue that most dudes are mystical ninjas when it comes to jerking it, basically making no sound at all in the process. Especially if you live in a very small house with a large family, where you need to stealth masturbate. What makes that post so funny is not that she says that he makes noise while jacking off, but that specifically his ejaculation sounds like coins falling into a jar and that the same is true for her husband. It's an incredibly bizarre post, which very well may be just a really good troll, and that's why so many people get wrapped up in trying to decode it. He knew his sister enjoyed going to the pool. He knew that girls sometimes hold their hair up out of the way of water or hold it up to wash it. He knew that they don't do that while hanging around in the pool. So he decided that you can tell if a girl is enjoying being in water by whether or not they're holding their hair up. The doctor told her not to hold her hair up. Since she was in the water wearing a swimsuit and not holding her hair up, by his reasoning she probably had a good time, making his bad time even more unfair by comparison. Life has fewer mysteries than people think, sorry. Splicer has a new favorite as of 02:34 on Nov 8, 2023 |
# ? Nov 8, 2023 02:29 |
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Also the office had an open slot for the appointment that day and he wanted a few days' notice because it interrupted his day off.
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 02:36 |
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Boo this man
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 02:36 |
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Splicer posted:The kid was autistic and hated taking showers or otherwise getting wet. He had the day off from school because his mom was taking him and his sister for a checkup. Since he wasn't going to school his mom said he didn't have to shower. Part of the checkup was hydrostatic weighing. He was mad because his mom "bait and switched" him by allowing him to think he was escaping having to shower when she knew he'd get wet anyway. I see. It was actually easily understood. ….almost too easy.
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 02:48 |
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 02:50 |
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I cant believe she stooped so low
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 02:58 |
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edit not sure why that saved as a gif fartknocker has a new favorite as of 03:06 on Nov 8, 2023 |
# ? Nov 8, 2023 03:01 |
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 03:34 |
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 03:44 |
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# ? Jun 5, 2024 08:18 |
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some people have all the luck
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# ? Nov 8, 2023 03:45 |