Cowslips Warren posted:

I am often reminded of that Grimm fairy tale comic where Sleeping Beauty was under the sleep curse, but she and her prince had broken up. So only a kiss of true love from a prince would wake her. Turns out a lick from a dog named Prince works too.




I found tickets for a cruise that my bf got me. This gift has cemented for me that this relationship is over.

update:

quote:

So I don't even know what to say about the past 2 weeks since I last posted. I had hoped to do a real quick update saying I was good, out of the lease, found a place but I can't say that.

First, the leasing office offered me a way out of the place and it's really expensive. We have 4 months left and there is no way I could afford to break this lease, find a new place, move, put down a deposit and everything else that comes along with moving. If my ex and i break the lease together it is significantly cheaper but he has refused so I have no choice but to live with him. I have a few places in mind and im eligible so I will just deal with this for now. I moved all of my things to a storage unit and put all my important documents into a safe location elsewhere. I have to get furniture for my new place since it was his place I moved into but other than that, I already have everything else you would need.

When it comes to my ex, I don't even know how to describe what is happening. It honestly feels like these last 17 days have been happening to someone else. He wont let me out of the lease because he thinks we can fix this. First, he tried to gaslight me because he said the things on the list didn't happen. rear end in a top hat, where do you think I got an accurate recollection of what you did and the dates- text messages. When I told him that the texts showed him either confirming what I said, doing the opposite and then apologizing, his face dropped. You can lie all you want but i literally have evidence to back up my memory.

Then this brilliant idiot decided you know what, I'm going to look at the list and pick things I did wrong and do them right. So he started picking things he had done wrong and then doing it right without any input from me. You know, it's the biggest mindfuck to realize that he could have done this right from the start. None of these were mistakes. He knew exactly what he was doing and didn't care about what I wanted or needed if he thought his idea was better.

I had people message me asking what was on the list and you know what, when i find the time, i will rewrite the whole list with screenshots. I will give a few examples now. One was when I asked him to pick up an orchid for me since I would be working late all week. Orchids were my grandmother's favorite flower and she died a couple of years ago. Sometimes I really miss her so I get some of her favorite flowers and having them around really helps my mood. He decided to pick up roses and I remember seeing the roses and saying why did you get me roses when I asked for an orchid and him saying that he thought these were better and prettier. Another example was when he took my car to a different mechanic because he thought the one I had used for 5 years was trying to scam me when he literally was going to patch up two tires that happened to get a nail. Did he even meet my mechanic? No he didnt. He just decided to take my car somewhere else. I took my car to my mechanic who charged me 20 dollars to fix my two tires and he's literally my friend. The last was when i was invited to a party that had an ex friend invited who had tried to SA another friend of mine. I told my bf you can go but I'm not going out of solidarity with my friend if that guy is going to be there. He promised that he had heard from the planner that the guy had said no to coming. He lied and my friend and I were shocked to see the guy there. I almost lost my friendship with my friend because my ex thought that we shouldn't miss out on a party because he could prevent the guy from approaching us. My ex would do things like this all the time and each time I would be livid because he promised to do something for me and then would veto my decision to go for what he felt was best before discussing it with me.

I take full responsibility for enabling this behavior but I honestly thought at the time that I was compromising and he fully took advantage of that. At the time i thought wow, yea he's not doing what I wanted but he still doing these things and it's misguided but he's trying. I did go to my close friends and sister to vent and I would hear, "oh but at least he still got you flowers", "I can't remember the last time I got roses", "He was looking out for you. Some mechanics are leeches", "he was trying to be a protector when he lied about the party". I realize now that these responses made me feel bad and help me accept the behavior because when I vented to my friends and sister, I got feedback that made it seem like i was ungrateful and that he was a bf who made mistakes but at least he tried. I also didn't realize the sheer amount of bullshit I put up with. Writing it down and seeing the list get longer and longer when you have barely scratched the surface- you're like how did I get here? How did I let so many things slide? Where the gently caress did my backbone go?

I will say the backbone is back and im not tolerating any of this. Anytime my ex tries to talk to me about things not regarding the lease, i tell him to push through it. Your feelings are hurt- push through it, you still love me- push through it, you're in pain- push through it, you did something nice for me but I'm ignoring it- push through it, you paid for couples counseling and i didnt show up- PUSH THROUGH IT. I don't give a poo poo. He keeps asking why I'm fine and honestly i think a part of me checked out a long time ago, grieved this relationship and that part was waiting for the rest of me to catch up and I have.

As for my friends and family, I have told them the relationship is done and that's my decision and that it's none of their business. When a few of them tried to make me feel bad about the cruise and how they wish someone would do that for them, I told them that their husbands/boyfriends not even doing the bare minimum for them doesn't mean that I should accept my ex's lovely behavior. I told them that maybe they should concentrate on why their SO do nothing for them instead of trying to get me to accept things I don't want or need just because my ex happened to "try". Not going to lie, that response took me a couple of hours to articulate and some of them aren't talking to me now but oh well.

So that's my life currently. I'm living in the guest room and my ex is still trying. Hes very annoyed and hurt but thats not my problem. He is bascially holding me hostage so i dont care about his feelings. I have made it clear we are roommates. I don't cook, clean, or do anything for him. Honestly I barely speak to him and I ignore his calls and texts when not at home. If he won't let me out of the lease, i will treat him like a stranger. I will not harm him or destroy any of his things but I'm going to actively ignore his entire existence for the next four months. Either he deals with this or he lets me out of the lease. Other than that, I'm doing really good and working on myself and maintaining boundaries and not letting people take advantage anymore.

Edit: I'm ok. I already have a camera in my room that my phone is connected to and a lock installed. The leasing office knows that im leaving. I have informed everyone from my school to work to close friends. I don't have family close by except for my sister who I can't live with. As for friends, I do have a few who are sane but I'm in a degree program that I can't leave since I'm almost done and they live too far away for me to logistically make it work. Trust me, I explored every other option I had before I landed on this. It was literally a last resort. I'll be as careful as I can be. I don't think he will do anything to me but also, that's what alot of people say so I have taken every precaution I can.

Evil Willow posted:

Another update!

I love me a good Petra story.

Midnight Voyager posted:

If it's being "handed in", that sounds like it's for school. School taught me to meander forever before getting to the point, because getting to the point was too few words for the required assignment size.

Kerro posted:

A huge regret and immense sadness that I didn't get my bottomless shrimp got abused at my birthday dinner.

Hughlander posted:

I'm really tempted now...

Write a bot to find an AITA post with less than 500 votes, and have chat-gpt rewrite it expanding it's length by at least ten fold in the style of:
Tolstoy,
Proust,
Dickens,
Walt Whitman,
Meville
and see if it gets more or less upvotes than the original.

Rainbow Unicorn posted:

As an autistic person with a lot of autistic friends this might have just changed my whole life, I have never been able to put my finger on what annoys me about their style of storytelling and I have caught myself in the midst of doing exactly this and thinking "this is going terribly I am explaining myself awfully everyone hates me and I don't know why" more than once... I think this is it. And it's so simple and easily corrected... at least in theory. Something I can practice and communicate boundaries around at least. TY

Pope Hilarius II posted:

Despite the parody further downstream, Tolstoy wasn't always so long-winded. 'War and peace' has quite the brisk pace for being such a sprawling novel. All the other writers I have hated reading. It's not because I can't parse complicated, long phrases (I enjoyed Thomas Mann, for instance) but because idiots like Dickens use a lot of words to say nothing and Whitman had that pretentious "I write quite simple so you, stupid reader, would understand how deep I'm actually being."

quote:

My (26f) friend, “Sebastian” has a girlfriend, “Laura”. They’ve been together for a year.

Sebastian and I are family friends, so we both know each other’s parents pretty well. I get along very well with his dad “Ralph” and we will all be spending Christmas at Ralph’s place. For Christmas, I bought Ralph a travel bag and had it personalised with patches relating to significant countries he’s traveled to. It’s a bit tacky but I know he’ll find it kitschy and use it as a gym bag or something, so perfect for a Christmas gift.

I posted about this on Instagram and Laura saw it. She DM’d me asking if I’d be willing to swap Christmas gifts with her (She got Ralph a bottle of cognac). She said since Ralph has always disliked her this could be an opportunity for her to get into his good books. As much as I understood that, I said no, partly because I took a lot of time putting the gift together and partly because Laura doesn’t know Ralph well, how would she even know about what a significant country would have been to add to the bag? It doesn’t make sense for her to give it to him. Laura then got annoyed and said I should have some empathy for her given that Ralph has never hidden the fact that he likes me more than her and wishes Sebastian and I would date. I do have empathy and told her that, but I also think her saying that was a bit of emotional blackmail.

Laura is now apparently bitching about me to mine and Sebastian’s mutual friends, and posting passive aggressive things about “the best girl friend you have to worry about” on social media. Sebastian hasn’t mentioned it and I don’t want to in case Laura never told him.

I don’t want to make Christmas awkward and I get how Laura must feel because Ralph is an intense person and you know when he doesn’t like you. But at the same time I feel like I should be able to give a Christmas present to someone I care about with being called “that girl best friend”. AITA?

Pope Hilarius II posted:

...but because idiots like Dickens use a lot of words to say nothing...

Pomme de Terror posted:

AITA for refusing to swap Christmas gifts for my family friend with my friend’s girlfriend?

quote:

I get how Laura must feel because Ralph is an intense person and you know when he doesn’t like you

Pomme de Terror posted:

AITA for refusing to swap Christmas gifts for my family friend with my friend’s girlfriend?

Big Mac posted:

I had to reread this more than once because I kept being sure that Laura was OP's girlfriend - but she's Sebastian's boyfriend, Ralph's son?

what the gently caress is Ralph's deal?? He sounds like he sucks, and OP needs to step back and decide if he should really be friends who's that lovely to his son's long-term girlfriend. And where's Sebastian in all this? That guy needs to go to bat for the people he cares about.
I'd put money on Ralph being the real rear end in a top hat here.

edit: I keep rereading it and I don't know how much I respect Laura either. Honestly I'm ready to write off all of these people.

edogawa rando posted:

Yeah, it looks like there's been a visit by our favourite guest, Ms Ingdetails.

Why is Ralph such a dickhead to Laura?

edogawa rando posted:

Yeah, it looks like there's been a visit by our favourite guest, Ms Ingdetails.

Why is Ralph such a dickhead to Laura?

Midnight Voyager posted:

I mean, I don't think that detail is missing, it's because he wants his son to date OP instead. Maybe he has a reason to dislike her or maybe he doesn't, but either way, dude wants his little fantasy about how his family grows to go how he wants it.

limp_cheese posted:

Instead she turned to social media.

mllaneza posted:

quote:

Final edit:

The people who are agreeing with me are starting to convince me that I'm wrong.

Rescue Toaster posted:

AITA for excluding my "adopted sister" from family photos?

This one is just kind of sad so I'll spare you all. The update though has this classic success story:

Baronjutter posted:

Yeah I do this too, big time. I'll have some important point I need to tell someone and I find myself absolutely trapped having some huge preamble. I can see they're getting tired and want to know where the gently caress this is going but my brain gets stuck in a loop where it's absolutely key to explain which side of the street I was on and where I was going that day when I saw this really good cat.

Big Mac posted:

I had to reread this more than once because I kept being sure that Laura was OP's girlfriend - but she's Sebastian's boyfriend, Ralph's son?

what the gently caress is Ralph's deal?? He sounds like he sucks, and OP needs to step back and decide if he should really be friends who's that lovely to his son's long-term girlfriend. And where's Sebastian in all this? That guy needs to go to bat for the people he cares about.
I'd put money on Ralph being the real rear end in a top hat here.

edit: I keep rereading it and I don't know how much I respect Laura either. Honestly I'm ready to write off all of these people.

quote:

So Xmas is coming and my work place is brimming with lights and ideas of who should hold Xmas party this year. Since it is a small company 1 small house would be enough. I happen to have a pool in my backyard and just invested in a bbq. They all ask me if I could hold party this year and I said yes with 2 conditions: First, this will be adult only party and second: we will have bbq with prawns and other normal bbq stuff, meats are always welcome. Everyone agreed and some just ask if I could cook the prawns separately since they are allergic, no problem, I am more than happy to assist with that to make sure noone would go the hospital.

One coworker just came back from maternity leave last week after 6 months and she was very adamant to come to the party, she sent an email to all of us asking if she could bring her 3 children with her to the party, one reply with the old email stating my conditions to host. She was not happy to say the least. In the last few days, she has been talking to others including the boss and persuading them to talk to me, and they did. My boss asked me to be flexible and because she just came back we should not cut her out like that, she was there while we talked and asked me to baby proof the house, because her oldest child is suffering some type of illness that he cannot sit still, and also she is allergic to cats so I should wipe the whole house off cat hair and lock them outside until the party is done. According to her if each of us pay some attention to the children there would be no problem, the youngest will stay by her side

I straight up said no, I will would not baby proof the house, and I would NEVER lock my cats outside for any reason. I told her and the boss that she should not join the party since there would be alcohols, and hot bbq, also the pool would be dangerous to children without supervision. I made it clear that I agreed to hold the party because everyone agreed with my terms, if anyone is unhappy with that, they are more than welcome to hold the party at their place, I will not complain. She stormed out of the boss office with tears in her eyes.

Some people told me to keep the office peaceful by just going along with her demand only for a few hours. I refused, I really don't care if anyone decided to not show up that day. If there are less people, then more alcohols for me, no biggie! Now my boss decided to reevaluate the situation and sent an email asking if anyone else volunteered to hold the party, I was not included in that email I found out through a work friend. I did not say anything and ignore it, people have been replying by email to each other without me and no solution. Yesterday, she came in with her baby and try to show me, I don't like any type of kid so I asked her to leave my table and continued to work, she took offenses and left for the whole day, her workload fell back on us since we all thought she would comeback, but as of right now, she comes and goes as she pleases because her there would always be something with....the babies.

People are telling me to stop being an ah and just give her what she want, because being a mother of 3 is no small job and she deserves a break too. To be honest, I almost laugh out loud hearing that. Still people insisted that I was the AH in this situation. So AITAH?

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITAH for refusing to baby proof the house and lock my cats outside during Xmas party?

I cannot imagine hosting a work party at my house. Even if you like all your coworkers, all it takes is one of them to mouth off what a cool guitar collection you have. Let alone being forced to loving babysit?

Midnight Voyager posted:

I mean, I don't think that detail is missing, it's because he wants his son to date OP instead. Maybe he has a reason to dislike her or maybe he doesn't, but either way, dude wants his little fantasy about how his family grows to go how he wants it.

quote:

I am meeting a girl for a first date at a coffee place. I have seen her online a few times (she’s very active on social media) and I admit, she is absolutely beautiful. She’s obviously into the “finer” things in life and seems to have a lot of “photoshoots”, but I don’t see that as any immediate red flags.

I walk in, and she’s sitting there already. We say hello, I start the small talk, and then she holds up her hand, saying:

“Okay, so I am just going to say my piece and potentially save us a lot of time. I’m a queen, and I deserve to be treated as such. I only agreed to meet you because you have a good job and I can tell you make good money. If you’re lucky enough to be considered to be in a relationship with me, then here are the rules that I will not budge on.”

She pauses, I think (I hope) for me to say something, but she’s simply catching her breath for the next part of her speech.

“You will be the provider. You will buy me things, and you will pay for dinners. You will take me on trips, and you will fly us first class. We will stay in five-star hotels, and you will take me shopping whenever I want to. In return, I will always look beautiful for you, and I will make sure all my followers on Instagram know that you’re my boyfriend.”

I’m about to go, “Wow,” but there’s more!

“I expect you to hold yourself to a standard that maintains our lifestyle and how we are seen in the world. This means you will need to dress better, and you will need to learn how to take good photos of me on our trips. If you can’t learn to take good photos, then you will pay for a professional photographer to accompany us. I notice that you drove here in a Prius; that has to go. If you care about the environment, that’s fine, but they make expensive electric sports cars now, and you will need to make sure we’re seen in one of those.”

At this point, I have stopped trying to interrupt, and I am simply listening to see how deep down this girl’s particular brand of crazy goes.

“If you maintain all this and you treat me like the queen I am, then you will be graced with my presence. If you do not agree to absolutely everything I have just said, then it’s best that we part ways right now.”

Finally, I am allowed to weigh in on this conversation. I finish my water, I stand up, nod to her, and then walk away. I simply hear her sigh and say:

“Yet another little rat. How disappointing.”

Wow. I mean, I am ALL for women (or anyone) having high standards for themselves and those they choose to date, but yikes!

Malachite_Dragon posted:

quote:

I have an online friend (35M) who I'll call Elliot. I've known Elliot for 3 years. We share another mutual (Jake). We all shared a Discord group together.

Jake brought in Misty (20F). At first she was a treat to he around. Until, Elliot and Misty started talking smack about our other friends. It started with calling another girl (Mary) in our group a pick-me for inviting one of her irl friends (Ike) into the server, and he would flirt with her in call in front of everyone.

Misty has a real life boyfriend. Misty has also been around us before, but never took such a heavy interest in Elliot till now.

In order to "get back" at Mary, Elliot and Misty decided to flirt with each other every time Mary was in call. (Elliot and Mary use to date). Another way they decided to "get back" at Mary was to raid her house in the Minecraft realm we shared (on survival), taking all of her items and storing them away at their secret base. THAT pissed Mary off more than anything.

Elliot was starting to talk about us, being passive aggressive to us, talking to Misty privately about all of us. I had a discussion with Elliot pointing out how I personally was becoming jealous at the favoritism. Elliot promised to divide his attention equally among all of us. He didn't. The favoritism became so blatant, he gave Misty co-ownership of the entire server, something he only granted to the girls he dated.

One day in call, my bf and Ike was having a debate over acceptable use of the n-word. This is where Misty got uncomfortable, and left call. This is also where everything in our group started falling apart, as Misty would choose one person every week (istg) and have an issue with them, causing Elliot to bitch them out in front of everyone, painting them as a bad and shameless person over-all.

I told Elliot what was happening to us because of her, and he became defensive, accusing me of defending racism and being an antisemite (because Misty is Jewish). I told him it was nothing of the sort, but rather the fact that he has never once in his entirety of knowing us had so many issues with us that it caused him to see us and attack us so badly. Elliot compared me to Misty. He told me I have never been as supportive and caring as Misty, that none of us were, and that until we stop "attacking Misty for no reason", he doesn't want to talk to us again. He also brought up my feelings of jealousy I disclosed to him to use it against me, as if my jealousy was the sole reason I didn't like Misty.

The comparison and the fact he used my very vulnerable feelings to get the "upperhand" in the argument pissed me off so bad that I told him to go eff himself and immediately blocked him.

Elliot doesn't have parents, and his family irl doesn't reach out to him, either. He is alone. I feel like an rear end in a top hat bc I basically burnt a bridge between us, knowing when Misty is bored of him, he will have literally no one. Are my feelings valid? Am an rear end in a top hat? Is he the rear end in a top hat? Is Misty? All of us?

Breetai posted:

I'll take "written one handed by an incel", thanks Alex.