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Corporate Swag I've gotten / won that I remember from best to worst: A pullover hooded sweatshirt with the corporate logo being basically invisible. An extremely nice yet simple metal pen. A nice but small metal water bottle. A very nice tee shirt with a lovely iron on logo. A lovely tee shirt with a very nice stitched logo. A terrible lunch bag. A branded laptop bag that did not fit the laptop I was given.
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Nov 16, 2023 20:06
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Devor posted:It's ADA compliant if it's equally bad for everyone I dunno I think I’ll find another job other than forklift driver for them if running a scan gun is too arduous We are talking about Certified Forklift Operators here.
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Nov 16, 2023 20:19
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I got an ok insulated mug from my current job, and a meh hoodie. Last job always had the shittiest cheap clothing swag and I started refusing it because it felt wasteful to never wear it and eventually throw it away.
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Nov 16, 2023 20:23
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tactlessbastard posted:Our local HR department has become nearly exclusively a party planning committee. My boss is on PTO this week and my skip level told me Monday to do ‘ X’ so I did literally X and today I came into work to an email from the last HR person (with about a week left to work) saying I shouldn’t do X without running it by her for approval. I think I might just let the clock run out on that one.
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Nov 16, 2023 20:25
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tactlessbastard posted:My boss is on PTO this week and my skip level told me Monday to do ‘ X’ so I did literally X and today I came into work to an email from the last HR person (with about a week left to work) saying I shouldn’t do X without running it by her for approval. Oh yeah, I love being the "Please do X hey have you done X yet WHY ISN'T X DONE YOU NEED TO DO X" "OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU DOING X" rope in a managerial tug-of-war.
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Nov 16, 2023 20:57
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I have so many insulated mugs from various events, to the point I won’t accept any more for lack of storage space.
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Nov 16, 2023 21:24
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The only thing I’ve gotten from my company is the corporate principles handbook and a deep seated hatred for corporate principles
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Nov 16, 2023 22:03
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The first page starts with “In a world that is increasingly VUCA(…)” which is some real psychic damage causing bullshit.
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Nov 16, 2023 22:05
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dpkg chopra posted:The first page starts with “In a world that is increasingly VUCA(…)” which is some real psychic damage causing bullshit.
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Nov 16, 2023 23:03
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I'm going to continue in blessed ignorance and assume that it was unproofed copy from a text-to-speech device and the speaker suddenly coughed out his own skull midsentence.
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Nov 17, 2023 02:10
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volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity 
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Nov 17, 2023 02:19
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tactlessbastard posted:
I certified myself as a forklift operator this week 
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Nov 17, 2023 02:22
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Tnuctip posted:I never could understand the mindset of people that payed for their own companies swag. You want me to fly a flag give it to me motherfucker. My work polos are cheap (as in subsidised) and comfortable. Everyone gets one for free, but I bought 4 more so I never have to think about what to wear and it's cheaper than putting wear and tear onto my own clothes.
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Nov 17, 2023 08:20
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tactlessbastard posted:My boss is on PTO this week and my skip level told me Monday to do ‘ X’ so I did literally X and today I came into work to an email from the last HR person (with about a week left to work) saying I shouldn’t do X without running it by her for approval. My rule of thumb is that I don't work for IT/HR/whatever, I work for my boss. (I agree with you though, just let sleeping dogs lie, but if you get heat from HR then see above.)
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Nov 17, 2023 08:22
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I got in touch with someone running another team for a proper introduction and they opened with "so the team under you are a complete disaster and have no idea what they're doing so you have your work cut out good luck", I appreciate the honesty but I feel that's a *little* harsh on them!Magnetic North posted:Corporate Swag I've gotten / won that I remember from best to worst: I still have a backpack I was given when I first started my graduate job. I don't like throwing things away if they work perfectly well ok 
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Nov 17, 2023 11:32
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Lockback posted:How I hope to be memorialized: My misspelled name and deeds being announced via a auto-respond. Just saw this linked in the funny pictures thread, this was my email that I received a while ago. I posted it in the UKMT at the time I think, and I just tested again and the message is exactly the same several months later. Poor Gramham.
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Nov 17, 2023 14:13
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Sanford posted:Just saw this linked in the funny pictures thread, this was my email that I received a while ago. I posted it in the UKMT at the time I think, and I just tested again and the message is exactly the same several months later. Poor Gramham. Lol, happy this wasn't fake. I was on the fence a bit but it really sounded genuine. It's hard to fake that much broke brain.
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Nov 17, 2023 14:53
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The best time I got work swag was at a job I had already given notice at they gave out a bag with company logo winter hats, a lovely bluetooth speaker, and a bunch of candy. They gave the bags at an all company meeting where they announced there would be no bonuses. I skipped the meeting, got the free stuff, and left for a better job.
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Nov 17, 2023 16:32
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Fil5000 posted:I went into the office today. I am supposed to do two days a week, I currently do one. Of the 26 people from my directorate based in my city, I was the only one there. I tried to coordinate my in office day with my coworkers but basically none of them are bothering. Like, at all. There's an excel sheet where everyone is supposed to fill in what days they'll be in the office and I'm the only one from my city bothering. Hooray for mandates. Lol, the requirement is going up to three days a week, aggregated over the month. Time to start looking for another job, I'd be amazed if I can't find somewhere 100% remote for more money.
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Nov 17, 2023 17:59
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I've got a decent amount of Google swag over the years. Whenever the logo changed all the old stuff would have to be retired, so everyone would dash to pick up a bunch. I've got a Google branded "I'm feeling lucky" 8-ball that's actually a pretty fun dumb swag thing.
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Nov 17, 2023 19:39
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I was supposed to get a hoodie for getting to a certain rank on our training website and no one ever sent me one. I'm still slightly peeved by that.
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Nov 17, 2023 20:45
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Awkward Davies posted:I was supposed to get a hoodie for getting to a certain rank on our training website and no one ever sent me one. I'm still slightly peeved by that. See, that's what happens when you don't fill out your training evaluation surveys.
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Nov 17, 2023 20:54
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Wow turns out the solution to "why are we being asked to X even though it's nothing to do with us and one person has just been getting on and doing it for years out of good manners but is now sick of it" was "actually speak to the people it is to do with and have a sensible conversation" and guess what, we now have a plan! So far the ability to actually think "maybe I should just talk to a different department?" And use Visio are proving to be superpowers. Powerful Two-Hander fucked around with this message at 01:42 on Nov 18, 2023 |
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Nov 17, 2023 20:57
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Trabant posted:See, that's what happens when you don't fill out your training evaluation surveys. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Content was relevant I will use the content in my day to day job Do you have any additional comments? <left blank>
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Nov 17, 2023 22:50
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I have a bunch of nice hoodies from my last place, nothing much from the new place so far. A coffee travel mug and a very ugly hat.
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Nov 18, 2023 01:36
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Cacafuego posted:
This month in my place everyone is "putting a pin in" things which feels a bit sad-retro
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Nov 18, 2023 02:31
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, I’m watching a town hall presentation and one of the presenters just said “I’m going to double click on <issue>”
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I'm sick of taking things offline, lets loving go now
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Nov 18, 2023 02:32
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Powerful Two-Hander posted:Wow turns out the solution to "why are we being asked to X even though it's nothing to do with us and one person has just been getting on and doing it for years out of good manners but is now sick of it" was "actually speak to the people it is to do with and have a sensible conversation" and guess what, we now have a plan! I continue to be gobsmacked when I attend meetings about a critical, life-or-death policy, and it is clear that out of 30 experts and professionals and senior-level leadership, all of whom have direct, necessary decisionmaking responsibility on the issue, I and maybe two other people are the only ones to have read the policy. No matter how short it is, no matter how accessible, half the suits in the room are getting critical details completely wrong or posting news articles they've misremembered about the subject to the chat.
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Nov 18, 2023 03:48
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It's their job to be in meetings, not their job to read things.
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Nov 18, 2023 08:35
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CancerCakes posted:It's their job to be in meetings, not their job to read things. I was
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Nov 18, 2023 14:38
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My skip level really enjoys talking up how much our broader team excels at jumping in and handling fire drills. Which, we do. It’s a good skill to have. If only my skip level and EVP weren’t the ones setting the fires in the first place.
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Nov 18, 2023 17:03
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Democratic Pirate posted:My skip level really enjoys talking up how much our broader team excels at jumping in and handling fire drills. Which, we do. It’s a good skill to have. Arsonist complements fire department.
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Nov 18, 2023 17:16
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Democratic Pirate posted:My skip level really enjoys talking up how much our broader team excels at jumping in and handling fire drills. Which, we do. It’s a good skill to have. 
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Nov 18, 2023 17:20
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Powerful Two-Hander posted:So far the ability to actually think "maybe I should just talk to a different department?" And use Visio are proving to be superpowers. Actually talking to people is the superpower we forget we have. I have a confession. I exploited the "nobody ever answers the second question in an email" thing yesterday. It'll buy me a week on something thanks to how vacation schedules line up. Like mine, which started at 5pm yesterday!
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Nov 18, 2023 19:32
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Hey it’s me, ya boi. The dumb gently caress from earlier this year. Not coming here for myself, trying to get someone I know some help. TLDR they are dealing with a hostile work environment but the supervisor is coloring in between the lines. Nothing actionable. Friend is getting some antisemitic vibes for sure or so I’m being told. They need an exit to a WFH job yesterday as a stopgap until they can look for something more concrete. It’s a MH concern for them. I’m hoping to get some intel on ATS resume formats and how to make sure everything is spitting out properly on that front. Work experience is mainly in the nonprofit sector as an administrative assistant. First corporate job she took is turning out badly. State is IL. How do I help this person get out clean and land somewhere so they can get some breathing room? Appreciate any help y’all can provide. Thank you and be well.
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Nov 19, 2023 00:56
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I'm not sure your question. There isn't 1 weird trick to getting a job, you just have to get out there and start applying. ATS is worth considering but it's not a boogie man that companies use to not hire people. There are guides on how to write an ATS-friendly resume (mostly don't use graphics, fancy formatting, or putting important info in headers). I think the other big problem people do is they don't use multiple versions of resumes for different types of jobs, or they don't tailor a resume for the jobs that look very appealing or very gettable. If you want more advice, see if your friend would be willing to post a redacted version to the resume thread and get direct advice.
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Nov 19, 2023 04:35
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Lockback posted:I'm not sure your question. There isn't 1 weird trick to getting a job, you just have to get out there and start applying. ATS is worth considering but it's not a boogie man that companies use to not hire people. There are guides on how to write an ATS-friendly resume (mostly don't use graphics, fancy formatting, or putting important info in headers). I think the other big problem people do is they don't use multiple versions of resumes for different types of jobs, or they don't tailor a resume for the jobs that look very appealing or very gettable. Gonna be honest, I personally am clueless because dumb sailor who hasn’t held a solid job and is going PhD route. Networking is how I might land an internship. That and really good fortune. My main “ask”, if there is one, is how do I get this person situated properly? Because I’m ignorant here. That said ok, wide search is about what I expected. ATS friendly resume guides I’ve googled and am sure I can find. Will ask her for a redacted resume and will send it to the appropriate thread. Thank you.
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Nov 19, 2023 05:00
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Trabant posted:See, that's what happens when you don't fill out your training evaluation surveys. Awkward Davies posted:⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ I think I posted this already, but for ours you have to rate the course to register your completion. If you choose 5 stars, all good. If you choose anything less, you have to say why, with a minimum 10 char textentry field. All our mandatory training courses are rated 4.99 with hundreds of thousands of ratings.
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Nov 19, 2023 12:39
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“No. Just no.” is eleven characters, fyi
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Nov 19, 2023 13:15
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Jean-Paul Shartre posted:“No. Just no.” is eleven characters, fyi life, life finds a way
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Nov 19, 2023 15:50
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