ben shapino posted:

Grassy Knowles posted:

This is my new favorite hot take its loving beautiful

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

The icing is that it’s the only probe on a 10 year old account

ben shapino posted:

emSparkly posted:

Dare I look for some of his other greatest hits?

sebmojo posted:

i was idly clicking on old permabans while reading about c19th tallship fiction and famously terrible poster hogge wild had 343 probations and bans before their perma

ben shapino posted:

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

Lmao.

There should be a “Most Probations” counter in the Posting Hloryhole

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

Lmao.

There should be a “Most Probations” counter in the Posting Hloryhole

emSparkly posted:

Dare I look for some of his other greatest hits?

SuperMechagodzilla posted:

12:05 PM eastern standard time, the Muslims have vanished. Check for yourself if you don't believe me. Where have they gone to?

There is speculation, of course. Scientists mention a cosmic storm that passed the Earth on January 20. A man says they are all in caves. Certain groups lament a faulty Rapture. A woman says he has taken their power and absorbed it into himself. She means Barack Obama. I doubt it, but he does seem somehow taller. The ground rumbles at times. The breaking news says WASHINGTON DC, with red concentric circles. I'm uneasy, but what can we do? Terror is defeated and if Obama were a Muslim, he'd be just as gone as them. There's no cause for alarm.

Within months, Barack Obama has declared a war on vague unease. It's a good idea, because frankly we could all use some peace of mind. Approval rating is higher than ever now that the Muslims had left, but I don't think we are happy yet. His eyes are shining sometimes, as a deer's eyes shine in a flashlight beam. Small fissures criss-cross the pavement. Trees are swaying, but the breeze is gone. Something is changing in our world.

Aeroplanes don't exist anymore. Scientists explain that the density of the air is too low to support their wings. Then how do we breathe?! We should have died by now, but I think we are evolving. Our bodies haven't changed, but the atmosphere..

One man says it was the rapture after all, and we have since entered the Kingdom of God. Barack is now the size of an oak tree. He sleeps outside since the rains have ceased, and his skin is thick to bullets. Now he wanders through he countryside impassively. He ignores a rural photo-op. He studies a leaf for twenty days. Only a fool would call this Heaven.

Satellites fall to earth like rain used to. No friction burns them away, so we trudge past countless flecks of solar panel and ribbons of golden cloth. It's a silent car crash every few hours, though cars themselves no longer run. No oxygen remains to ignite their fuel. Obama strides across the landscape, taller than the Freedom Tower. We've given up on assassination; all men are immortal now, and guns no longer fire.

I'm starting to wish the Muslims were back.

We found them with a telescope. Images of a colony on the right side of the moon. See the parts that jut from the lower right? I think they're mosques. Soon they are visible to the naked eye, but how? Their cities are enormous. We watch them as they live and die. They have our former atmosphere; the moon is fringed with blue. "Look at how they wield their guns," writes a man. "I always said he'd take our guns away." They eat and sleep like we once did, building worthless ziggurats. We have everything we wanted, but oh how we envy their strife!

It's long been clear that Obama brought this uncomfortable perfection upon us, but I can't bring myself to blame him for it. He's reminded us all of how our lives had been discarded out of fear. I know now why he grows each day. In time, when we are ready he will reach out into space. He will raise us up in his great hand, to this new Earth that gleams like a frozen star. And if Obama does not carry us, we can climb...

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

SMG is a top tier poster, they're the one behind the "the Muslims have vanished" post that I'm pretty sure has been brought up several times in this thread, but I'm gonna just post it again:

mysterious frankie posted:

This mf’er however has seen an AR-15 in person at the Hardee’s.

Empty Sandwich posted:

somebody coded a probe tracker for their sig. I think it scrapes their rap sheet and keeps a running tally. can't remember who or which forum

Literally A Person posted:

That was hbag. I think they post in fyad now

Outrail posted:

I read that in the same tone as 'they're in heaven now'.

sebmojo posted:

i was idly clicking on old permabans while reading about c19th tallship fiction and famously terrible poster hogge wild had 343 probations and bans before their perma

3D Megadoodoo posted:

Oh they're perma'd? I remember when they went around the forums posting a video of a lady shooting a horse chestnut right up another lady's arse with a giant slingshot with a background of Arabic chanting that reached it's peak when the fruit hit. Not gonna quote it here.

Lobok posted:

Then let me quote it.

"yeeeeeeOWWCHHHH!"

3D Megadoodoo posted:

Oh they're perma'd? I remember when they went around the forums posting a video of a lady shooting a horse chestnut right up another lady's arse with a giant slingshot with a background of Arabic chanting that reached it's peak when the fruit hit. Not gonna quote it here.

labbats posted:

Or I'll plant you in my garden.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Alaois posted:

I used to think Hogge Wild was one of the worst posters ive ever seen in my life. I've since realized they were actually slightly better than the average Finnish internet poster.

Hyperlynx posted:

I skimmed though the Wikipedia page for depressing fat guy and decided it was just too sad to bother with the docco

Non Compos Mentis posted:

You have a wikipedia page?

Trazz posted:

NORMAL VIEW
NORMAL VIEW
NORMAL VIEW
NORMAL VIEWWWWWWWWW

Cheese Nip posted:

My friend belongs to a motorcycle stunt crew "Project Trixta" Crew, and recently they have begun to branch out and look for new members. My friend thinks I would be good at this and has been asking me to join them. I need to get a bike first though, and figured I would come here to get some opinions. It needs to be used because I can't afford a newer bike. I have been looking the the cbr900rr's or possibly a gsxr1000. I need something that will really let me get the front end up. Oh and that's light.

They have this kick rear end webmaster that's designing them a site and it should have videos on it soon. I gotta get something soon so I can start practicing and get on the videos. You should see the amount of pussy these guys pull. OMG.

Cheese Nip posted:

What the gently caress??? Fine, I don't care, not going to go against a mod and reclose the thread. Still Stunta's rule.

Cheese Nip posted:

Fine, if you guys don't want to help anyone out. gently caress you then. Punks.

Cheese Nip posted:

Fine, gently caress it. I'm out. You guys are worthless and so is your advice.


PROJECT TRIXTA CREW OUT!

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Cheese Nip posted:

Figure, I was good in bmx/freestyle I can do this. If I crash it's kind of like a beat in for a gang or something. Sometimes it's nice to belong.

Meanwhile, I'm going to have to log off for a bit. I don't want to get banned again and see the spider with the huge cock.

Again, sorry.

(USER WAS PERMABANNED FOR THIS POST)

Kitfox88 posted:

venus de lmao posted:

that last line is loving incredible and I can't share it with anyone I know irl

Deathslinger posted:

if I tried to explain supermechagodzilla to anyone I know in real life, heads would explode, starting with mine

venus de lmao posted:

that last line is loving incredible and I can't share it with anyone I know irl

Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:

Same. I went back to double check and saw the Obama quote and wondered who the gently caress wouldn't understand him, decided it was the spider and boom, wrong on both accounts.

Kenning posted:

lollin' @ "world heritage shitpost"