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Quantum of Phallus
Dec 27, 2010

JUNGLE BOY posted:

if what i’m reading about WBD is true…

congratulations jungle jackass and the dumb fucks. you killed aew

It’s true

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forkboy84
Jun 13, 2012

Corgis love bread. And Puro


JUNGLE BOY posted:

if what i’m reading about WBD is true…

congratulations jungle jackass and the dumb fucks. you killed aew

Jack Perry my new favourite wrestler

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


JUNGLE BOY posted:

if what i’m reading about WBD is true…

congratulations jungle jackass and the dumb fucks. you killed aew

Congratulations! You won! Cabal defeated, Punk home, you got it all.

Sydney Bottocks
Oct 15, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!
I'm posting from the parallel universe where the Elite decided to leave AEW for WWE and cratered their ratings, while AEW soared to new heights with CM Punk at the helm

JUNGLE BOY
Sep 23, 2019

Sydney Bottocks posted:

I'm posting from the parallel universe where the Elite decided to leave AEW for WWE and cratered their ratings, while AEW soared to new heights with CM Punk at the helm

got any room over there?

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

JUNGLE BOY posted:

if what i’m reading about WBD is true…

congratulations jungle jackass and the dumb fucks. you killed aew

that's you. :O That's you

Sydney Bottocks
Oct 15, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!

JUNGLE BOY posted:

got any room over there?

Sure, you'll be just in time to see Jack Perry debut his "Loser Fuckface Nerd" gimmick

NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012

Going back in time to February 2020 to prevent Tony from signing Colt Cabana

Sydney Bottocks
Oct 15, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!

NienNunb posted:

Going back in time to February 2020 to prevent Tony from signing Colt Cabana

Imagine losing your TV deal because your EVPs insisted you keep fuckin' Colt Cabana around

JUNGLE BOY
Sep 23, 2019

cannot wait for the young bucks, brandon, and colt stable Killing the Business to make their debut on aew dynamite on the weather channel. i’m sure it’ll be absolutely genius level storytelling despite no live promos or consistent weekly presence

1glitch0
Sep 4, 2018

I DON'T GIVE A CRAP WHAT SHE BELIEVES THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS CHANGED MY LIFE #HUFFLEPUFF

Sticky Nate posted:

I hope the devil stuff is resolved quickly and never brought up again.

I like the devil stuff because it's the only actual story line in AEW.

Everything else is just the tournament and "I want your belt!/You can't have my belt!"

Toni Storm is doing funny stuff but there's no angle. Maybe there will be with Mariah May some day but now it's just "Riho wants belt".

Julia and Abadon are just "Hey we got two spooky girls on our roster!" but not really a story line.

There's intrigue over the tournament and if Eddie is going to kill himself or if Bryan's eyeball is going to fall out, but that's not really a story line.

Hangman and Swerve is over, I guess.

The devil stuff is the only thing they got going on!

Sydney Bottocks
Oct 15, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!
Don't worry guys, Tony Khan already has his contingency plans in place, in regards to his new broadcast partners



SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

Has anyone suggested that Ric Flair is this devil? Because this sounds like Black Scorpion all over again.

TheHoosier
Dec 30, 2004

The fuck, Graham?!

That would be the funniest outcome

DarkstarIV
Apr 6, 2010

OFFICIAL RACIST
Mariah May is apparently already not too happy about working in AEW, I guess? Summary of the juicy bits from her Unrestricted Interview. Bolded parts the most juicy parts.

quote:

- Tony contacted her after she did color commentary at a Stardom PPV.

- She specifically knows one person who is leaking Stardom gossip to the dirt sheets.

- She did not tell her boss Rossy Ogawa that she was going to AEW as per orders from Tony Khan to keep it a secret.

- After 99 matches this year, she feels a little odd that she hasn't wrestled since she came to America last month (she wants to wrestle and it was not her idea not to).

- She has not spoken to Tony much since she came here.

- She is overwhelmed by the move to America to process (Social Security, apartment stuff, health insurance, etc.). So all she does is play video games with hardly any furniture. In other words, similar to the other joshi who came here, she receives no culture shock help from AEW.

- She saw her first act of violence while waiting on line at the SS office (a fight broke out). She really likes Japanese culture much better.

Man, now I dunno about you guys, but I would generally give a boss who had treated me super well a heads up that I'm gonna go work elsewhere, regardless of what the boss at my new place says. Especially since Rossy isn't exactly known to leak stuff to the sheets. She's just the latest victim of Tony's shiny toy syndrome.

Pylons
Mar 16, 2009

DarkstarIV posted:


Man, now I dunno about you guys, but I would generally give a boss who had treated me super well a heads up that I'm gonna go work elsewhere, regardless of what the boss at my new place says. Especially since Rossy isn't exactly known to leak stuff to the sheets.

She literally says that she didn't tell Rossy (and she felt bad about it) because she knew it'd get out through Sonny.

yea ok
Jul 27, 2006

DarkstarIV posted:

Mariah May is apparently already not too happy about working in AEW, I guess? Summary of the juicy bits from her Unrestricted Interview. Bolded parts the most juicy parts.

Man, now I dunno about you guys, but I would generally give a boss who had treated me super well a heads up that I'm gonna go work elsewhere, regardless of what the boss at my new place says. Especially since Rossy isn't exactly known to leak stuff to the sheets. She's just the latest victim of Tony's shiny toy syndrome.

You should listen to it yourself lol

JUNGLE BOY
Sep 23, 2019

lol

Pylons
Mar 16, 2009

quote:

"I didn't tell anybody. I guarded that secret with my life. I saw it leak. I actually woke up in the middle of the night in Japan. At the time it leaked, it was like 5 AM. I remember waking up, picking up my phone, and I never had that many notifications in my life. Some of the girls asked. 'Mariah. Maybe AEW?' 'Ah, no.' [Laughs]. Obviously, STARDOM is run by Rossy [Rossy Ogawa], who I have a very good relationship with. I felt bad not telling him, but somebody, I'm not going to name names, but somebody in the staff does leak stuff about the westerners in particular about where they're going to go, what they're going to do. I would have a direct conversation with somebody and they would put it on the dirtsheets. I shutdown my merch store, and the exact conversation I had about it ended up on the dirtsheets. I really wanted to be very honest with Rossy because I have a lot of respect for him, but I couldn't tell him until literally the day I was going to debut. I sent him a message and thanked him and let him know I was going to AEW. He would instantly be like, 'Mariah can't come back next year, she's going to AEW,' and then it would all leak so I had to really keep it a secret. I had to keep it to myself and then towards then end, I let some of the girls know."

yea ok
Jul 27, 2006

Starting to understand why Pylons is our fact checker now... The truth is a must.

JUNGLE BOY
Sep 23, 2019

Erin M. Fiasco posted:

when you open the portal to hell you don't get to complain when demons walk through

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

Someone has to keep us in check

The_Rob
Feb 1, 2007

Blah blah blah blah!!
I like this thread because it’s just unironic twitter takes. Like I’m shocked no one has actually seriously said Tony con yet.

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k
ANTHONY KORN

Pylons
Mar 16, 2009

The_Rob posted:

I like this thread because it’s just unironic twitter takes. Like I’m shocked no one has actually seriously said Tony con yet.

Tiny Con, please.

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

The_Rob posted:

I like this thread because it’s just unironic twitter takes. Like I’m shocked no one has actually seriously said Tony con yet.

Someone doesn't read me and MJeff talking

JUNGLE BOY
Sep 23, 2019

this is the last place you’re allowed to tell the truth on these forums

MotU
Mar 6, 2007

It was like she was evicting walking garbage.
Pillbug
If you told the truth you’d be charged for attempted murder because some of the people reading this thread would just faint away . . .

Shard
Jul 30, 2005

Y'all it's a wrestling show lol. There is no secret truth that uttering would kill people

Gumball Gumption
Jan 7, 2012

The last place you can say the name Larry the dog without being treated like a crank

Shard
Jul 30, 2005

Gumball Gumption posted:

The last place you can say the name Larry the dog without being treated like a crank

Oh my lord lol I was like what is this secret new slang I don't know about. Is crank like a crazy person....oh wait cranky I'm a dum.

Sydney Bottocks
Oct 15, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!

Shard posted:

Oh my lord lol I was like what is this secret new slang I don't know about. Is crank like a crazy person....oh wait cranky I'm a dum.

No they meant "the last place you can say the name Larry the dog without being treated like Jason Statham, the star of the movie Crank"

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

Jericho and Omega really Larry'd up their promo last night (it was ugly)

Shard
Jul 30, 2005

Sydney Bottocks posted:

No they meant "the last place you can say the name Larry the dog without being treated like Jason Statham, the star of the movie Crank"

Hangman Adam Page in his next death match

Gumball Gumption
Jan 7, 2012

Shard posted:

Oh my lord lol I was like what is this secret new slang I don't know about. Is crank like a crazy person....oh wait cranky I'm a dum.

Yeah, 9/11 truther guys are cranks. Dudes who claim they invented new math are cranks.

People who believe larry got hit with a door are not that

JUNGLE BOY
Sep 23, 2019

truth and comedy are now legal in PSP

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k

Sydney Bottocks posted:

No they meant "the last place you can say the name Larry the dog without being treated like Jason Statham, the star of the movie Crank"

Do you mean LARRY THE DOG???

Quantum of Phallus
Dec 27, 2010

L*rry th* D*g 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

fawning deference
Jul 4, 2018

Unfathomable as to why, instead of generating genuine heat and hype for a match, The Firm was brought up in a fuckin promo. "Remember that worthless lovely angle that everyone thankfully forgot? Yeah good job with THAT" is legitimately an insane thing to say on a TV show that is floundering and trying to win back viewers, and it's a clear example of "when going meta goes wrong." You're now letting everyone know that The Firm is "an angle" and highlighting the fakeness of everything, which, yes we know this is all TV but the point of what makes wrestling good is for it to FEEL real so we suspend disbelief and get caught up in the drama. That's the whole point

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JUNGLE BOY
Sep 23, 2019

the elite and punk are in a race to kill aew

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