Mebh posted:

Life is too short to waste on toxic people. Don't do it OP.

Blood is thicker than water is bullshit.

PriorMarcus posted:

I wish I could cut her out entirely, but then I think about her by herself, with no real friends or means to see people easily, and it breaks my heart.

PriorMarcus posted:

but I feel obligated to see her by virtue of her being my mum.

PriorMarcus posted:

I'm always somewhat worried, that despite everyone else agreeing with how I see her, that I'm overreacting or being overly sensitive to how she makes me feel, and I'll regret cutting her out with some distance.

blunt posted:

It's because the way people truncate the quote has inverted it's meaning.

"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" - The bonds you choose are more important than the bonds you're born with.

Mourning Due posted:

Yargh...

Anyone dealt with UPS losing a parcel before?

I posted it on 2nd December, going to my family in Canada.

Was supposed to arrive on the 5th. I got a message saying, there's a delay, you'll be updated when the package is on its way.

Been busy so have just left it, thinking they'd just get it moving.

Called them Friday to find out wtf is going on, they guilt tripped me, saying I should have "called much sooner" if I wanted an investigation started and have any chance of the package arriving. I'm like...doesn't your system do this automatically? What's the point of all the tracking if it's not monitored?

Now looking unlikely not only that it will arrive for Christmas, but that it will arrive at all. They're going to contact me later in the week but I'm not hopeful.

And if they don't find it, then I imagine we'll get back just the £50 I put on the packing slip, and not the ~£250 that we actually paid for the stuff. Stupid, I know, but I don't want my folks to have to pay import duties on just a few gifts, it's a big faff every time.

I guess I could re buy some of the poo poo over Amazon or something for them...but then what if the package DOES arrive? Then they have two of the same thing with no way to return either!

Any advice on escalating complaints etc with UPS? And anybody else having particularly poo poo delivery service across the board this year? Who would have thought, putting people out of work for the sake of the bottom line means that society suffers AND the service sucks. gently caress!

Mourning Due posted:

Yargh...

Anyone dealt with UPS losing a parcel before?

I posted it on 2nd December, going to my family in Canada.

Was supposed to arrive on the 5th. I got a message saying, there's a delay, you'll be updated when the package is on its way.

Been busy so have just left it, thinking they'd just get it moving.

Called them Friday to find out wtf is going on, they guilt tripped me, saying I should have "called much sooner" if I wanted an investigation started and have any chance of the package arriving. I'm like...doesn't your system do this automatically? What's the point of all the tracking if it's not monitored?

Now looking unlikely not only that it will arrive for Christmas, but that it will arrive at all. They're going to contact me later in the week but I'm not hopeful.

And if they don't find it, then I imagine we'll get back just the £50 I put on the packing slip, and not the ~£250 that we actually paid for the stuff. Stupid, I know, but I don't want my folks to have to pay import duties on just a few gifts, it's a big faff every time.

I guess I could re buy some of the poo poo over Amazon or something for them...but then what if the package DOES arrive? Then they have two of the same thing with no way to return either!

Any advice on escalating complaints etc with UPS? And anybody else having particularly poo poo delivery service across the board this year? Who would have thought, putting people out of work for the sake of the bottom line means that society suffers AND the service sucks. gently caress!

Microplastics posted:

I reckon you and my wife would have a lot to talk about, because I recognise a lot of what you say in what my wife has said, before she cut off her mum 10 years ago.

My wife has always had this fantasy that she could somehow reconcile with her mum, like in the movies. That her mum would have some change of heart, some revelation, even it's on her deathbed. Every story has a happy ending right? Especially if it's your story and you need it to have a happy ending. It took my wife a long time to accept that that just wasn't going to happen - her mum is going to remain a narcissist until the very end.

My wife regularly had depressive episodes before severing. Since severing, her mental health is far far better. She lives a happier life. She doesn't regret it. She was lucky she had unwavering support from me because she wouldn't have done it if they're was any doubt it was the right thing to do. It sounds like you have that support too, thankfully.

I'm not sure how much your partner is willing to 'manage' your mum, but for us, I was willing to do the weekly phone calls and odd-jobs and what-have-you, just to keep my wife at a distance while also giving my wife the assurance that her mum wasn't withering away in isolation.

Scientastic posted:

Bollocks, I don't believe this for a second. The original makes much more sense and is much pithier, that sounds like a post hoc addition to sound smarter than it actually is

blunt posted:

It's because the way people truncate the quote has inverted it's meaning.

"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" - The bonds you choose are more important than the bonds you're born with.

blunt posted:

It's because the way people truncate the quote has inverted it's meaning.

"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" - The bonds you choose are more important than the bonds you're born with.

Just Another Lurker posted:

"Covenant" gives me loony christian vibes, nope.

quote:

We, in the West, are accustomed to say that "blood is thicker than water"; but the Arabs have the idea that blood is thicker than milk, than a mother's milk. With them, any two children nourished at the same breast are called "milk-brothers," or "sucking brothers"; and the tie between such is very strong. […] But the Arabs hold that brothers in the covenant of blood are closer than brothers at a common breast; that those who have tasted each other's blood are in a surer covenant than those who have tasted the same milk together; that "blood-lickers," as the blood-brothers are sometimes called, are more truly one than "milk-brothers," or "sucking brothers"; that, indeed, blood is thicker than milk, as well as thicker than water.[15]

Scientastic posted:

Bollocks, I don't believe this for a second. The original makes much more sense and is much pithier, that sounds like a post hoc addition to sound smarter than it actually is

Guavanaut posted:

But blood attracts draculas and baptismal water repels them.

Not sure what the vampiric opinion of milk is.

Guavanaut posted:

version makes the most sense, it is wider

Nuclear Spoon posted:

what about piss

blunt posted:

If it helps, reading through the Wikipedia page for blood is thicker than water had taught me the covenant version comes from Islam instead of Christianity 🙃

But yeah, until today I didn't realise there were multiple versions through history/society or that the pub quiz fact I'd remembered didn't tell the full story!

quote:

Teachers in England will not be made to automatically “out” pupils who come to them with questions over gender identity, despite a push from Conservative rightwingers for a blanket approach, government guidance due to be published this week will say. Schools will be expected to inform parents if children tell staff that they want to take any steps towards transitioning, but they will not have to flag conversations if children are just asking general questions, or in the event of safeguarding issues.

The decision to keep some protections in place so that children are not automatically outed is likely to frustrate some on the Tory right who have been pushing for parents to be told in all circumstances.

“Children can be very confused about these things and just want to have a conversation about it and what it all means with a trusted adult,” one government insider said. “That shouldn’t necessarily mean it is automatically flagged to parents.”

Rishi Sunak had initially pledged to deliver the guidance by the end of the summer term but missed his own deadline after months of internal disagreements on the issue, including over whether the guidance would be compatible with equalities law. The government initially considered introducing an outright ban on social transitioning – when children change their names, pronouns and uniforms but have not yet embarked on a clinical path – but concluded it would require new legislation. Ministers had also hoped to include an absolute ban on primary school children transitioning in this way, but this also potentially breached equality law. Sources said the guidance would be “as close to a ‘no’ as possible” for younger children without running counter to legal requirements, while primary schools would be urged to take a particularly cautious approach.

The fact that equalities law is preventing the government from going as far as it might will enrage the right of the party. However, Tory insiders suggested that Kemi Badenoch, the equalities minister, had no plans to change the law to drive through changes.

“She would generally like to go further but can’t because she’s not prepared to take action on the legislation,” one said. “If you open up the equalities act then lots of other groups would want to make changes and you’re also likely to have people pushing for stronger protections on trans issues than we already have.”

The guidance is expected to advise schools to maintain separate toilets, changing rooms and contact sports for girls and boys. Plans for children to have to see a doctor before being allowed to socially transition as part of a compulsory “clinical gateway” have been dropped after the NHS said it did not have capacity. Government sources said there was no longer any disagreement between Badenoch and the education secretary, Gillian Keegan, on policy, although they conceded there were differences in tone after Badenoch suggested schools were facing an “epidemic” of children saying they are transgender.

The guidance will not come into effect in classrooms until the spring as there will be a 12-week consultation period first. It will be in place before the next general election, during which the Tories are expected to use it as a wedge issue with the Labour party.

Tesseraction posted:

Sticking my head out the window of my car, across the school playground and directly into the face of an overworked year four teacher: "any of your kids showing signs of gender ideology?"

keep punching joe posted:

Oh no life peer billionare michelle mone is no longer in the conservative party, I'm sure she is gutted.

Diet Crack posted:

Eve Fartlower

Mourning Due posted:

Any advice on escalating complaints etc with UPS? And anybody else having particularly poo poo delivery service across the board this year?

Diet Crack posted:

This is just international freight/shipping in general, it's all loving garbage

WhatEvil posted:

Apraxin posted:

kind-of-good news in itself, compared to what was potentially on the table, but god, the undertone from presumably badenoch et al

https://www.theguardian.com/education/2023/dec/18/schools-in-england-will-not-have-to-flag-pupils-asking-about-gender

'we couldn't put the boot into trans kids as hard as we wanted this time, but at least we can litigate their existence as an election wedge issue'