Outrail posted:

Soul Dentist posted:

When I was a teen Denny's was one of the only places you could go late night if the bars were off limits. The one we all hung out in had a free jukebox, for some reason, and we used it all the time. Then I started this thing where I'd play Cash's Ring of Fire every time I walked in. I don't know how I started it but I still remember the number was 6208

Then other people started playing it when they walked in. Then just playing it over and over again. It got to the point that for weeks (!) you could walk in this Denny's any time the sun was down and hear Ring of Fire. It obviously became untenable so Denny's first took away the index, then the guide, then moved the jukebox away from the front entrance to by a booth.

Finally, they shuffled all the albums and didn't post new indexing. They did this for less than a week in between the last time I visited and noticed the shuffle. Since I was at the jukebox still, I decided to punch in a random song. Since I was a teenager, I decided on 8008 of course. Turns out this was exactly where they shuffled Ring of Fire and those ratchet Tijuana horns immediately sounded across the restaurant to an unmatched chorus of groans from the Denny's staff. Next time I went in the jukebox was unplugged and remained that way indefinitely.

Also there was a serious recurrence of Vietnamese/Somalian gang violence at that Denny's. C'est la vie

null_pointer posted:

Goddamn that is just brutal. Tied with being called a "dime-store Wizard Master"

Big Anime Fan Here posted:

Haruki Murakami: "Transparency Goat Hotel Story"- when middle aged writer Maruki Hurakami's cat gets lost inside a description of what al dente pasta means, it's up to some women who curiously want to have sex with him, as well as a sexy lolita who he is just friends with, no big deal, to solve the case of which band from the 70s stole all the Cutty Sark off a secret truck from another dimension. (Nominated for the 2015 Nobel Prize in literature)

tiaz posted:

I guess my question is why God wants his home to be swimming in cum so bad he's jealously forbidding it be spent elsewhere.

Coolguye posted:

garrison cum edits are divinely inspired

Outrail posted:

One day I hope to call someone a 5 Foot Ant

Scarodactyl posted:

Binary Butthead

Gravehorse posted:

Mine personally is the dandelion.

Not only is it a pretty flower, it can also be used in cooking and as a diuretic!

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

SimonChris posted:

John Wick of Dogs posted:

"Here's the file. All the info on who we're supposed to bully next" I said as I slid the manila envelope to my partner.

He held the file in his hands for a few moments, sizing it up without even opening. "Kid's name is Bart" he remarked. "That's good." He paused a moment and took a drag from a cigarette I hadn't even noticed he was holding. "Rhymes with fart. We can use that."

EorayMel posted:

Everyone has a favorite animal, but how many people have a favorite PLANT?

venus de lmao posted:

it's amazing that these dead gay comedy forums have become something that would make lowtax (piss be upon him) profoundly uncomfortable

Kitfox88 posted:

Good hope he's uncomfortable in hell too

Kitfox88 posted:

can only afford cookies from walmart and not goldbelly

St_Ides posted:

Pokemon 747

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Lowtax posted:

It's a really played out argument to claim that a breed of dog is inherently more evil than others. Remember in the 70s it was Dobermans? Then in the 80s it was Rottweilers?

Streak posted:

to be fair lowtax was never very good at identifying dangerous predators in the first place

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

thatguy posted:

streak getting banned off that sick burn was bullshit

Lowtax posted:

It was a great burn but I still don't take no guff

Lowtax posted:

What can I say, I own a murder dog and death gun

ben shapino posted:

Lowtax posted:

If you want to be banned. Please keep it work safe in this thread where people are trying to convince me to commit suicide

ben shapino posted:

Starks posted:

Not so dead and gay now are we?

Lowtax posted:

I'm working on it

Outrail posted:

Poor Lowtax, thought of alimony and died.

(I'm 99% sure I saw that somewhere but I'm not digging it up)

reignofevil posted:

Tax man is already roughly 60,000 deep in medical debt and they have to run lots of likely painful tests on him which won't fix him so after he pays for those he is gonna pay even MORE money to actually get treatment.

Kibbles n Shits posted:

He could always just ignore it and live the remainder of his now shorter life in total avarice. It's the American Way!

Lowtax posted:

I'm totally doing that and leaving my children in crippling debt. Also we're livestreaming tonight!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWGN9DW8z4Y

bradzilla posted:

lmao so of course the dipshit is lurking this thread

hi Richard, please kill yourself

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

bawk posted:

Lowtax's hell is that airport "meetup" where people recognized him but every time he tries to step out the door he's stepping back into the gate

Breetai posted:

"If only lowtax had married his alcoholism, then he might have beaten it" is my personal favourite.

ben shapino posted:

ben shapino posted:

bawk posted:

Lowtax's hell is that airport "meetup" where people recognized him but every time he tries to step out the door he's stepping back into the gate

Breetai posted:

"If only lowtax had married his alcoholism, then he might have beaten it" is my personal favourite.

Platystemon posted:

The man don’t miss.